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* "I just need you to sign this petition... with this giant oversized pen that requires two hands."

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* "I just need you to "Just sign this my petition... with this giant large, oversized novelty pen that requires two hands."
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** It's more how the timing of this one works. The assistant (also played by The Cat) making that "cut the feed" motion just as he's cussing a blue streak.

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** It's more how the timing of this one works. The Cat in the audience [[CoverInnocentEyesAndEars covers Sally and Conrad's ears by pressing their heads together]] and the shot switches to the assistant (also played by The Cat) making that "cut the feed" motion just as he's cussing a blue streak.
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*** ''And you're ugly, just like your mum.''
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* When the Cat says he'll try and clean up the mess he's caused, Sally grabs his bowtie and pulls him down to her level.
--> '''Sally:''' You don't try. You ''do.''
--> '''Cat:''' ''(nervous)'' Yes, ma'am. Right away, ma'am.
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** The bit after where the Cat explains the crate to Conrad, who then points out that it was [[MadeInCountryX made in the Philippines]]. The Cat's response? "Yes, but not ''this'' Philippines."
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* This line:
"Thing 2 would like to clarify that just because he wears the number '2' does not imply in any way that he is inferior to Thing 1. You may feel free to call him 'Thing A', if you like. He will also accept 'Super Thing', 'Thing King', 'Kid Dynamite', 'CHOCOLATE THUN-DA'...Or 'Ben.'"

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* This line:
"Thing
line when Cat is introducing Thing 1 and Thing 2 to Sally and Conrad:
-->"Thing
2 would like to clarify that just because he wears the number '2' does not imply in any way that he is inferior to Thing 1. You He says you may feel free to call him 'Thing A', if you like. He will also accept 'Super Thing', 'Thing King', 'Kid Dynamite', 'CHOCOLATE THUN-DA'...Or 'Ben.'"

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* Thing 2 would like to clarify that just because he wears the number '2' does not imply in any way that he is inferior to Thing 1. You may feel free to call him 'Thing A', if you like. He will also accept 'Super Thing', 'Thing King', 'Kid Dynamite', 'CHOCOLATE THUN-DA'...Or 'Ben.'

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* Thing This line:
"Thing
2 would like to clarify that just because he wears the number '2' does not imply in any way that he is inferior to Thing 1. You may feel free to call him 'Thing A', if you like. He will also accept 'Super Thing', 'Thing King', 'Kid Dynamite', 'CHOCOLATE THUN-DA'...Or 'Ben.''"
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* The Cat's ingenious response to being told that Mrs. Quan is a babysitter.
-->'''Cat:''' Let me get this straight. You pay... ''this'' woman... [[LiteralMinded to sit on babies?]] [[EveryoneHasStandards That's disgusting!]] ''(locks Mrs. Quan in the closet)'' [[NotSoAboveItAll I'd do it]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice for nothing.]]
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* While ruining the house, the Things use Mrs. Quan as a surfboard down the stairs. There's just something gold at the fact that she somehow sleeps though the whole thing while the back of head slams against every step.
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** Which cuts to a "Hang in there baby!" poster with the cat wearing a familiar hat.

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** Which cuts to a [[RelaxOVision "Hang in there baby!" poster with the cat wearing a familiar hat.]]
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* In another deleted scene, the Things slow down Joan by pretending the streets are a flood zone. What makes it funny is that there are three versions of this scene before it was ultimately cut. One version had Thing One relieve himself after drinking a truckload of soda, the second had Thing One use a giant hose and the third had Thing One blowing up a dam.

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* In another deleted scene, the Things slow down Joan by pretending the streets are a flood zone. What makes it funny is that there are three versions of this scene before it was ultimately cut. One version had Thing One relieve himself after drinking a truckload of soda, water, the second had Thing One use a giant hose and the third had Thing One blowing up a dam.
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** Before that when he gets hit in the groin by the baseball bat when disguised as a pinata, it cuts to an ImagineSpot with him dressed in a frilly dress and pushing himself on a spring while "Easy Like A Sunday Morning" by LionelRichie plays in the background with a unicorn there too. According to the commentary, that was the Cat's "happy place".

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** Before that when he gets hit in the groin by the baseball bat when disguised as a pinata, it cuts to an ImagineSpot with him dressed in a frilly dress and pushing himself on a spring while "Easy Like A Sunday Morning" by LionelRichie Music/LionelRichie plays in the background with a unicorn there too. According to the commentary, that was the Cat's "happy place".
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-->'''Fish''': This cat is currently in violation of 17 of your mother's rules!\\
(''phone rings; Cat answers it'')\\

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-->'''Fish''': This cat is currently in total violation of 17 of... [''counts on his fin''] ...seventeen of your mother's rules!\\
(''phone [''phone rings; Cat answers it'')\\it'']\\



'''Fish''': ''18!''

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'''Fish''': ''18!''''EIGHTEEN!''



* "I just need you sign this petition with this giant oversized pen that requires both hands."
* The driving scene. "Wait a minute, two people can't drive at the same time!" "You're right...we should ''all'' drive."

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* "I just need you to sign this petition petition... with this giant oversized pen that requires both two hands."
* The driving scene. "Wait a minute, two people can't drive at the same time!" "You're right... we should ''all'' drive."drive!"
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* Mr. Humberfloob telling Joan that she'd better make sure the house isn't as messy as last time, or '''"YOU'RE FIRRRRRRRRREEEEEE-DUH!"''' When the camera cuts to her reaction, Kelly Preston is clearly ''this close'' to [[{{Corpsing}} completely losing it]].
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-->''Thing Two'': Meka-deka, let 'er rip!

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-->''Thing Two'': -->'''Thing Two''': Meka-deka, let 'er rip!
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* In another deleted scene, the Things slow down Joan by pretending the streets are a flood zone. What makes it funny is that there are three versions of this scene before it was ultimately cut. One version had Thing One relieve himself after drinking a truckload of soda, the second had Thing One use a giant hose and the third had Thing One blowing up a dam.
-->''Thing Two'': Meka-deka, let 'er rip!
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* In the live action movie, the Cat suddenly "chops off" part of his tail, making him yell "[[CurseCutShort SON OF A BI-]]" *[[SoundEffectBleep BEEP!]]*

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* In The entirety of the live action movie, "Astounding Products" fake infomercial, where the Cat suddenly "chops off" accidentally ''chops off'' part of his tail, making him yell "[[CurseCutShort SON OF A BI-]]" *[[SoundEffectBleep BEEP!]]*



** And after the scene is over, Cat is seen with his tail bandaged and surrounded by lawyers. He claims "Look, I'm not saying we're going to sue. I'm just saying we have a case" before realising the camera is on him and moves on.
* ''You're not just wrong, you're stupid!'' Admit it, that bit was kinda funny.
* "I'll get you, and it'll look like a bloody accident!"

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** And after the scene is over, Cat is seen with his tail bandaged and surrounded by lawyers. He claims "Look, I'm not saying we're going to sue. I'm just saying we have a case" before realising realizing the camera is on him and moves on.
* ** ''You're not just wrong, you're stupid!'' Admit it, that bit was kinda funny.
* ** "I'll get you, and it'll look like a bloody accident!"



* The "Third Option: Murder" bit. It's obvious Mike wasn't being serious with that and reminds you a lot of his Dr. Evil persona from Film/AustinPowers.

to:

* The "Third Option: Murder" bit. It's obvious Mike wasn't being serious with that and reminds you a lot of his Dr. Evil persona from Film/AustinPowers.''Film/AustinPowers''.
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** Before that when he gets hit in the groin by the baseball bat when disguised as a pinata, it cuts to an ImagineSpot with him dressed in a frilly dress and pushing himself on a spring while "Easy Like A Sunday Morning" by LionelRichie plays in the background with a unicorn there too.

to:

** Before that when he gets hit in the groin by the baseball bat when disguised as a pinata, it cuts to an ImagineSpot with him dressed in a frilly dress and pushing himself on a spring while "Easy Like A Sunday Morning" by LionelRichie plays in the background with a unicorn there too. According to the commentary, that was the Cat's "happy place".
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Okay, so the film's not exactly the best Seuss adaptation. But there ''are'' some genuinely funny moments.

to:

Okay, so the film's not exactly the best a faithful, family friendly Dr. Seuss adaptation.adaption it's not. But there ''are'' some genuinely funny moments.
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!! 1970s Special

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!! 1970s 1971 Special
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Made it more accurate


* In the live action movie, the Cat suddenly "chops off" part of his tail, making him yell "[[CurseCutShort Son of a-]]" *[[SoundEffectBleep BEEP!]]*

to:

* In the live action movie, the Cat suddenly "chops off" part of his tail, making him yell "[[CurseCutShort Son of a-]]" SON OF A BI-]]" *[[SoundEffectBleep BEEP!]]*
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* When the kids initially tell the Cat to leave, he solemnly limps out the front door and mutters to himself "Goodbye, [[ItMakesJustsAsMuchSenseInContext off to Siberia]]."

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* When the kids initially tell the Cat to leave, he solemnly limps out the front door and mutters to himself "Goodbye, [[ItMakesJustsAsMuchSenseInContext [[ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext off to Siberia]]."
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* When the kids initially tell the Cat to leave, he solemnly limps out the front door and mutters to himself "Goodbye, off to Siberia."

to:

* When the kids initially tell the Cat to leave, he solemnly limps out the front door and mutters to himself "Goodbye, [[ItMakesJustsAsMuchSenseInContext off to Siberia.Siberia]]."
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* The SLOW was initially called the Super Hydraulic Instantaneous Transporter, or [[spoiler: SHIT.]]

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to:

----



-->''Joan sets her phone down and resumes playing the video game; back at Fish's end, one of the Things pops out of the receiver, scaring Fish.''

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-->''Joan sets her phone down and resumes playing the video game; back at Fish's end, one of the Things pops out of the receiver, scaring Fish.''''
----
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* In the animated special, the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUDnComnKwo 'Chapka in a Shlyapa' scene]] during the song.

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* In When the animated special, kids initially tell the Cat to leave, he solemnly limps out the front door and mutters to himself "Goodbye, off to Siberia."
* The
[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUDnComnKwo 'Chapka in a Shlyapa' scene]] during the song.
verse]] of "Cat, Hat."
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'''Cat''': City morgue!\\

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'''Cat''': [[BrickJoke City morgue!\\morgue!]]\\
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* The "Third Option: Murder" bit. It's obvious Mike wasn't being serious with that and reminds you a lot of his Dr. Evil persona from AustinPowers.

to:

* The "Third Option: Murder" bit. It's obvious Mike wasn't being serious with that and reminds you a lot of his Dr. Evil persona from AustinPowers.Film/AustinPowers.
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None

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** And after the scene is over, Cat is seen with his tail bandaged and surrounded by lawyers. He claims "Look, I'm not saying we're going to sue. I'm just saying we have a case" before realising the camera is on him and moves on.


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* "I'll get you, and it'll look like a bloody accident!"
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Okay, so the film's down right horrible. But there ''are'' some genuinely funny moments.

to:

Okay, so the film's down right horrible.not exactly the best Seuss adaptation. But there ''are'' some genuinely funny moments.

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