History Funny / TheAmazingSpiderMan

** A How It Should Have Ended short shows him in confused indignation before blaming the Avengers.

---> '''Policeman''' [[Recognition Failure Who are you?]]
'''Spider-Man:''' ''[turns around to the audience]'' [[Breaking the fourth Wall No one seems to grasp the concept of the mask.]]

* The aftermath of Peter receiving his powers. After he gets bitten, he accidentally rips off the shirt of a nearby woman and gets into an accidental fight with an entire subway car of people that he accidentally wins. The next morning, he ''[[RingRingCrunch destroys]]'' his alarm clock as well as his sink.

** The best part is that the eggs are still not organic
*** FridgeBrilliance? They're free range/cage free. Peter may believe they amount to the same thing.

* [[http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m76p9pz23i1qaeot7o1_500.gif Peter's reaction]] when he finally gets his webshooters working, all that's missing is an overwrought "BEHOLD!"

'''Peter:''' ''[to Gwen]'' Heh, that's a... character, that's my-my uncle. He, um, he's a pathological liar, and he thought you were someone else.\\

'''Peter:''' Heh, that's a... character, that's my-my uncle. He, um, he's a pathological liar, and he thought you were someone else.\\

-->'''Spider-Man:''' Alright, so you don't want to talk?\\

-->'''Gwen''': He's one of Midtown Science's best and brightest. He's second in his class.\\

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jggeG4VCbBI Gwen tries to make an excuse to her dad for not coming out to have hot chocolate, since she's tending to Peter's wounds from battling the Lizard.]] When Captain Stacy tries to coax her out by reminding her she fantasized about living in a chocolate house ''just last week'', Gwen replies, "well that's impractical...and fattening", and Peter has this sheepish smile on his face as he muses "a chocolate house...", prompting Gwen to roll her eyes and give a disgusted face of "DontAsk". Then she opens her door again, and apologizes to her dad, blaming her outburst on a period, at which her dad backs off and leaves due to TooMuchInformation.

-->Hey! Any1 feel that quake?!

** Special mention goes to him accidentally dislodging one of the poles in the train and then [[PlankGag smacks two guys who are just getting back up with it]]. It slowly falling off his hands just punctuates the silliness of the situation.

-->'''Ben Parker''': She looks familiar. She's the girl on your computer! ''[to Gwen]'' He's got you on his computer. I'm his probation officer. ''[to Peter]'' Don't forget Aunt May. ''[exits]''
-->'''Peter Parker''': Heh... character, my uncle. He's a pathological liar, and he thought you were someone else.
-->'''Gwen Stacy''': Aww man, you don't have me on your computer?
-->'''Peter Parker''': Well yeah. I mean, I took a photo of the debate team, and you're on the debate team. So... he must've seen me; [[ThatCameOutWrong I was touching up stuff.]]
-->'''Gwen Stacy''': ''[laughs]'' You were 'touching up stuff?'
-->'''Peter Parker''': ''[laughs]'' I'm not gonna answer that!

-->'''Gwen:''' You should maybe, uh, consider coming in through the lobby. ''[Peter laughs]'' Also, my father is under the impression that you require psychiatric attention.

-->'''Spider-Man:''' ''(clears throat)'' You know, in the future, if you're going to steal cars, don't dress like a car thief, man.
-->'''Car Thief:''' Who are you? Are you a cop?
-->'''Spider-Man:''' Really? You seriously think I'm a cop, dressed in a skin-tight red and blue suit? ''(shoots web in the thief's face)'' You've got the mind of a true scholar, sir. ''(the thief opens the door, Spidey shoots web to close the door)'' I was going for "guy who does the luge". ''(shoots web to close the door again, the thief opens the window)'' Good thinking, good thinking. Get out the window. Get out the window. There you go, you got it... ''(thief falls outside'') Wow.
** [[OhCrapFakeout "You've found my weakness! It's small knives! Anything but knives!" *webs thug to the wall*]]

* The PunctuatedPounding as he tries to reason with The Lizard, who's smacking him around with his tail
-->'''Spider-Man''': Don't...(smacks)...make me...(Wham)...have to...(Slam)..HURT YOU!

-->'''Spidey:''' I'm gonna throw you out the window now.
-->'''Gwen:''' What?
-->'''Spidey:''' [throws her, webs her]

-->'''Spider-Man:''' Alright, so you don't want to talk?
-->'''Lizard:''' *roars*
-->'''Spider-Man:''' *shoots web at Lizard's mouth* There you go!

-->'''Spider-Man:''' Aw. Somebody's been a very bad lizard.

-->'''Gwen''': He's one of Midtown Science's best and brightest. He's second in his class.
-->'''Peter''': Second?
-->'''Gwen''': Yeah.
-->'''Peter''': You sure about that?
-->'''Gwen''': I'm pretty sure...

--->'''Spider-Man''': ''Connors'' is on the way. He's coming to you right now.
--->'''Gwen Stacy''': *looks at the antidote cooker thingy* There's eight minutes left.
--->'''Spider-Man''': You're gonna wait there for eight minutes after what I just told you..?!
---> *Gwen tells Peter that she's not leaving without the antidote he sent her to cook up, and that she's evacuating everyone else, then hangs up on him.*
--->'''Spider-Man''': Gwen! ''Gwen!'' You Mother [[LastSecondWordSwap Hubbard]], are you serious?!

-->'''May''': (''confused'') Something is very wrong.
-->'''Ben''': Yeah. ''No one'' likes your meatloaf.
-->'''May''': (''DeathGlare'')

--->'''May''': Why didn't you tell me you didn't like my meatloaf?
--->'''Ben''': [[OhCrap Uh...]]
--->'''May''': You could have told me that thirty-seven years ago! ''How'' many meatloafs have I made for you?

--> '''Captain Stacy:''' You think we just sit around all day eating donuts with our thumbs planted firmly up our asses?
--> (a few seconds later)
--> '''Gwen's Brother:''' Up your what, dad?

--> '''''Captain Stacy:''' "I got this, Peter!"

--> '''Peter:''' Stan is going to kill me!! How much did you buy?
--> [[spoiler:'''Connors:''']] Oh I don't know, I just used it until it didn't work anymore, there's just one more thing I need.
--> '''Peter:''' Please don't say a jacuzzi.

--> Hey! Any1 feel that quake?!
--> I was enjoying a latte, now I got butter in my coffee! FirstWorldProblems, man...
--> [[NoteToSelf Memo to self]]: Save my work more often.
--> [[ItMakesSenseInContext River dancing in the shower?]] Done! And I don't recommend it...
--> Didn't feel a thing, I was on a bus. Saw people freak out, though...
--> Sorry, y'all! New stereo system. Still tweaking the bass. = )
--> [[NoodleIncident Does someone know how to uncling a cat from a ceiling?]]
--> Am I crazy?! I think I just saw a rhino running in the streets! Did the zoo make a statement?
--> [[SurroundedByIdiots Suddenly grateful to live in the suburbs...]] o_O

* When Peter sneaks in through Gwen's window, having taken up her invitation to dinner with her family.