History Funny / RealTimeFandub

* After Shadow acquires the sin of gambling from Eggman:
-->'''Omega:''' Can I have the green one when you're done?\\

'''Sonic:'''Eggman... We can make amends-\\

-->'''Eggman:''' What the actual shit? ''WHERE DID AMY GO?!'' '''SHE WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!'''
-->'''Tails:''' Eggman, come over here!
-->'''Eggman:''' I'm going to-
-->''(immediate cut to Eggman getting shot by Tails' mech)''
-->'''Eggman:''' ARGH, MY BONES! OH...! I knew I should have-- (''coughs violently'')\\

-->'''Eggman''': Now, I will control the universe! AND EVERYONE WILL BE ABLE TO WATCH [''right next to the mic, in the softest voice he's ever done''] VideoGame/Splatoon2 Let's Plays [''normal voice''] BY EGGMAN!! Now GET in the FUCKING ROOM!
-->'''Tails''': [[PleaseKillMeIfItSatisfiesYou Shoot me, you fucking coward! Do it!]] ''([[{{Corpsing}} Hayley loses it in the background]])'' You won't! I have no reason to live now that Sonic is gone... [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and my piss rock.]]

-->'''Eggman:''' Tails, listen to me... [[MissingMom I know who your mother is--]] ''[[KilledMidSentence (dying cough)]]''
-->'''Tails:''' [[TheUnreveal Don't you fucking lie to me!]]

-->'''Eggman:''' (pulls out a gun; starts talking like a sassy black woman) Bitch, you are going to get in this car or I'm bopping between your eyes.

--> '''Man:''' (over intercom) There is a man trying to break into this place. Lock him in so he'll starve. This is the most logical course of action.
--> (The building starts going into lockdown. Suddenly, Eggman busts down the door in his mech)
--> '''Eggman:''' [[NonSequitur Did you see that hot JPEG footage that was just-]] (pauses as his mech starts shooting) Oh baby, I'm gonna blow the walls offa this place! Going UPPPPPPP!!!!! (Eggman's mech jumps down instead as the music cuts off, causing everybody to laugh hysterically)

-->'''B-3x Hot Shot:''' I heard that you like the hot sauce. I'm going to blast you out of this dimension.\\

-->'''Eggman:''' Wow! [[ExplainExplainOhCrap I'm gonna have to use that to get into you social security accooouunt!]] (starts speaking rapidly) Shadow the Hedgehog, please join me by my side and we shall, uh, rule the Earth together, [[EvilLaugh ho ha ha!]] [[BlatantLies You can stand by me, Dr. Eggman]], [[NonSequitur even though my BODY used to be a regular shape.]]\\

-->'''Eggman''' [[LargeHam Shadow! Have you found that goddamn blue marbo motherfucking son of a bitch yet?!]]

* Which [[https://youtu.be/IMC0uZY2iH0?t=12m59s leads to]] [[SignatureScene the most famous moment]] [[MemeticMutation in RTFD history]]. It gets so ridiculous that, for once, the crew ends up laughing so hard that they have to pause the video to catch their breaths, then stop recording temporarily just to save that particular moment. Big props to Alfred for not {{corpsing}} either.

'''Eggman:''' --and he pissed on my ''fucking'' wife, and he said his dick was ''(imitating Shadow)'' "'''[[BiggerIsBetterInBed tHIS]]''' '''''[[BiggerIsBetterInBed bIG]]'''''" ''(regular voice)'' and I said "That's disgusting!". So I'm making a callout post on my [[InsistentTerminology Twitter Dot Com]]: Shadow the Hedgehog, you got [[TeenyWeenie a small dick]]. It's the size of this walnut, [[{{Dissimile}} except WAY smaller.]] And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. '''''[[UnsoundEffect BWOOOOOOOOSH!]]''''' That's right, baby. All points, no quills, no pillows -- look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong! He fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the Earth!! That's right, this is what you get, my [[ChewingTheScenery SUPER LASER PISS!]]... Except I'm not gonna piss on the Earth. ''I'm gonna go higher.'' '''I'm pissing on the''' '''''[[DetonationMoon MOOOOOOON!]]''''' How do you like that, [[UsefulNotes/BarackObama OBAMA]]?! '''I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU ''IDIOT!''''' ''[{{Beat}}]'' You have twenty-three hours before the piss [[TrillingRs drrropllllets]] hit the fucking Earth, now get out of my fucking sight, before I piss on you too!

-->'''Eggman''' Oh no! Oh no! They put it all the way on the fuckin' islands. Now everyone's gonna know about my secret egg dick! (Shadow begins to walk away) Where do you think you're going, cucker?!\\

** This comes up again during Shadow's fight with Sonic. [[CasualDangerDialog They spend the whole battle talking about it.]]

* Eggman's [[VillainousBreakdown drunken rant about his wife]] where he somehow manages to add TrillingRs to a word that ''doesn't have any Rs.''
-->'''Eggman''': [[{{Angrish}} She fucking- he fuckin'- she-]] they fucked my wife! The animals fucked my wife! And then everybody fucking left because the fucking ship was gonna be destroyed! She was able to escape because I designed a robot that would be able to pleasure her in such an intense way that [[AwfulWeddedLife I would be able to finally fuck her]]. BUT IT DIDN'T HAPPEN! Because she decided to become a ''furry fucker'', and fucked the whole Sonic the Hedgehog and Shadow team! Which didn't even fuckin' matter since it went into a new ark, [[ReallyGetsAround AND THEN SHE FUCKED]] ''(gets close to the microphone)'' '''''[[ExtremeOmnisexual THE WORLD]].''''' The world was her next target, because her [[UnusualEuphemism jussy]] was '''NOT EVEN PLEASED ENOUGH''', SO SHE HAD TO ''HO HERSELF OUT'' AND BE THE BIGGEST [[TrrrillingRrrs THRRRRROT]] THAT YOU'VE EVER SEEN! [[PunctuatedForEmphasis The world. Is going to be destroyed. Right now!]] I'm logging off.

'''Eggman''': I don't give a flyin' fuck! That bitch can fuck off, I divorced her ass three hours ago! I'm so sick, [[ActionFigureSpeech my body's doing]] ''[[ActionFigureSpeech things]]''[[ActionFigureSpeech -that thing!]] And you over there?! Shut up! And you?! [[{{Squick}} Take off my pants!]] You wanna see [[BodyHorror some... weird shit]]?!\\
'''Tails''': Eggman, you need to calm down!\\
'''Eggman''': I AM- I'MMMMM- I'M TIRED OF BEIN' CALM ALL THE GODDAMN TIME! I WANNA LIVE MY LIFE! AND YOU! You. ''(gets progressively closer to the microphone)'' '''YOU. ''YOU. I'M SO SICK OF YOU.'''''\\
'''Rouge''': It looks like we won, everybody. We... broke him, finally.\\
'''Knuckles''': Alright! Do we get to have a big furry orgy now?\\
'''Sonic''': Okay, everybody... Let's stop talking about his dick, okay. It looks like all Tetris pieces at once. [[ItMakesSenseInContext Thumbs up!]]

-->'''Amy:''' I feel like there's a pervert here! Nope, no. (Big the Cat randomly runs past her) Wait, I knew it! ''I'm'' the pervert! Hooray! (walks up to Shadow) Hey Shadow, whatcha thinkin' about? Thinkin' 'bout peeing on the world? Thinkin' 'bout-
-->'''Shadow:''' More than anything that I've ever thought about in my entire life. Just imagine it. Warm liquids.
-->'''Amy:''' Well, I have a story for you! When I was little, I used to wet the bed. [[BaitAndSwitch But that didn't mean it was my bed, 'cause I was a renter.]] [[AdorablyPrecociousChild I started renting my first apartment when I was six years old, 'cause I'm a self-sufficient woman,]] and my mom kicked me out for being far too obnoxious. [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext And that is why I am the true owner of the world!]] That's right, all that you see before you? [[WesternAnimation/TheLionKing1994 Everything the piss touches? That is your kingdom! And you my son shall go forth and inherit it!]]

-->'''Shadow:''' This is incredibly dumb.
-->'''Sonic:''' We have to do it together!
-->'''Shadow:''' Let's blow up the moon.
-->'''Sonic:''' Let's blow it up!
-->'''Shadow:''' Wait, hold on...
-->'''Sonic:''' Wait, [[ShoutOut that's no moon, that's a space station.]]
-->'''Shadow:''' Nice reference. I also love Franchise/StarTrek. Well, good thing all of Sonic's friends were on that ship. Bye.
-->'''Sonic:''' Yep! See ya!
-->'''Shadow:''' I'm dead for real, I promise...

-->'''Sonic:''' Shadow didn't deserve to die for his piss.
-->'''Amy:''' Yeah, he did.
-->'''Sonic:''' But here we are...
-->'''Rouge:''' Are you sure about that?
-->'''Sonic:''' All of you are responsible... He was a good man, with a good heart...
--> (The credits to Sonic Adventure 2 start rolling. Sonic hands Rouge a thick orange ring.)
-->'''Sonic:''' Take this ring in remembrance of him.
-->'''Rouge:''' I'm gonna eat it.
-->'''Sonic:''' Please d- I mean you can eat it if you want, but I guarantee that that's... not gonna be... (beat) partake of the ring.
-->'''Rouge:''' Thank you, Hedgehog Jesus.
-->'''Sonic:''' Hey, wait a minute. (beat) Doesn't that mean he's gonna come back to life at some point?
-->'''Eggman:''' Aw, that piss-lovin' son of a bitch, I'll miss him. (speech becomes slurred) Aw, Tails, hand me another drink.
-->'''Tails:''' I think you need... a therapist, and not a bottle.
-->'''Eggman:''' (slurred) I think you need to shut your mouth with your three tails... f- nine-tailed fox Naruto-looking motherfucker. Weeeeeeoooough, gottem! Woo!
-->'''Tails:''' God, I wish that were me.
-->'''Knuckles''' Now that all this piss and scaly porn's goin' on, you wanna... I don't know...
-->'''Rouge''' What?
-->'''Knuckles''' Get... get high or somethin'... behind a Denny's-
-->'''Rouge''' Oh, fu-, I thought you'd never ask.
--> (Alfred laughs out of character, while Knuckles reads from the Music and Lyrics credits.)
-->'''Knuckles''' Yeah... Fumie Kumatani, he knows what's up.
-->'''Eggman''' (slurred) Guys. Guys, guys, guys. I gotta... tell you something.
-->'''Knuckles''' What?
-->'''Sonic''' Eggman... stop, okay. (Amy starts interrupting Sonic while he tries to finish his sentence.) You've been broken ever since you spent three years in that building.
--> '''Amy:''' Sonic. Sonic! Sonic, can I-
--> '''Sonic:''' What?
--> '''Amy:''' Sonic. Can I jump on that-
-->'''Sonic:''' What?
-->'''Amy:''' Can I jump on that (extended sound) D......?
-->'''Sonic:''' No.
--> (Amy takes note of a rendering glitch in the nearby window and says her line quickly before leaving. Sonic shortly follows suit and we cut to him at the door.)
-->'''Sonic:''' You can't, okay.
-->'''Amy:''' My shoes... my shoes in my reflection are opaque, bye.
-->'''Sonic:''' Okay. I don't know what that means but that's fine. Alright, everybody, I'm gonna bounce. I'm gonna go to Chipotle, I'll see you all later! Uh, if-
-->'''Eggman:''' (slurred) Bring me back a burrito.
-->'''Sonic:''' Nope. If you want something, go get it yourself, buddy.
--> (Cut to a shot of the Space Colony ARK over the Earth.)
-->'''Eggman:''' [[SayMyName SONIIIIiiiiic!]] (Eggman's voice fades to an echo as the episode ends.)

'''Otto''': Garbage!! ''(smashes the [=TV=], Norman somehow saying "ow" during it)'' Yeah...[[ActionInsuranceGag I just destroyed a very expensive television.]]\\

“I guess Discord is broken\\
I’m not seeing what’s on the screen”\\
Just hold on let me find what’s the issue\\

* The post credits scene, featuring Norman and [[spoiler:a symbiote-bound Harry]], seeming to plot something ''very'' peculiar...

--> '''Ada:''' '''''[[RunningGag I'M STILL FALLIIIIING!!!!]]'''''\\

'''Wave''': Wait, [[FridgeLogic you don’t put quarters in there]]. (the cast starts corpsing) What were you- Jet, [[TooDumbToLive were you putting your quarters in the card reader?]] (everyone laughs even harder) Jet- Jet you have to- that's not how you do that!\\

* After Wave blows up Sonic's board, causing him to crash, it's briefly assumed [[TheyKilledKennyAgain Sonic died again]]. Sonic’s scream as he’s sent flying really sells it.

-->'''Sonic:''' Ah, no! Amy, no, wait!
-->'''Amy:''' Get back here, you blue ''son of a bitch''! I'm gonna fuckin' ''wear your guts for'' '''''garters!'''''
-->'''Sonic:''' Oh god, please leave me alone! I don't wanna die, I'm not ready to die, there's so many things I haven't done yet!
-->'''Amy:''' I ''swear to God!''
-->'''Sonic:''' Amy, please! I need to visit a Chipotle, I need to visit Walt Disney World!
-->''[Amy continues yelling indecipherably]''

-->'''Sonic:''' Oh god, Hatsune Miku is ''DEAD!''

'''Amy:''' Are we really doing this? Is everyone doing “A Whole New World” without me? I wanna be Jasmine, you son of a bitch!

-->'''Eggman:''' [[ImpliedDeathThreat And you're the other half of the population that disappeared!]] Hello, Mr. President! Or, should I say... n- [[LameComeback new dead body]]!

‐->'''Eggman:''' [[ImpliedDeathThreat And you're the other half of the population that disappeared!]] Hello, Mr. President! Or, should I say... n- [[LameComeback new dead body]]!

-->'''Satan:''' [[IncomingHam Dingaling, cocksucker]]! Okay, you can't do that to Hell and get away with it. I had to roll back time. Do you know how much of a fucking logistical issue it is when you destroy Hell?! That's my house, dude! What the fuck were you thinking!?\\

'''Shadow:''' ''STOP!''

** Later into the dub, Tower arrives with his updated audio equipment and threatens to assault Shadow with [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plosive plosives]]. Sonic's dead-serious response to this threat just makes the scene even better.

'''Elise:''' Um... okay? [[ObliviousToHatred I have no idea what the words you just said mean, but I'm glad we're outside]]. I've lost track of time. I'm not sure if... I'm a person.\\

'''Sonic:''' ''[in a fiery landscape]'' '''''OH! OH MY GOD! SOMEONE HELP ME!'''''\\

'''Omega:''' You are nothing but a ''Fortnite'' PR fake and an actual diamond accessory.\\
'''Memphis:''' [[WordSaladHumor What the fuck does that even mean? Those string of words just absolutely mean nonsense to me]]. You are so far below me, you lowly little trashcan man.\\

'''Satan:''' Why won't you answer my chats in your chat box, I have the sub badge, twelve months! You ''never'' acknowledged me, not even once. And I came here from Hell to have fun with you, I'm your biggest fan! I've been with you since day one, I got first badge, I was your first subscriber, and you don't pay attention to me! I was with you through your candidacy, I was with you through your Sin Points, we went to Chuck E. Cheese, you got me the litte parachuting trooper boy, '''AND YET, YOU WON'T ACKNOWLEDGE ME! You still just leave me in the dust every single day!'''\\

* In the middle of talking with Shadow about his apparent regenerative abilities, Shadow suddenly collapses to the floor in pain, causing Satan to have to ''suddenly pivot to why that's happening.''

-->'''Dhar Mann:''' "IF YOU WANNA GET BITCHES, BUY MY PRODUCTS. GOOGLE 'DRAGON'. YOU CAN FIND IT ONLINE. I'M DHAR MANN." ''(footage of the dragon-raising game Dhar Mann is plugging plays)'' "THESE ARE MY DRAGONS. [[MisterSeahorse I BIRTHED THEM THROUGH MY CANAL]]. [[RuleOfThree I'M DHAR MANN.]] CLAIM YOUR REWARD AT DHAR MANN. I AM HERE. [[AGodAmI I AM GOD.]] DHAR MANN." ''(A QR code appears next to Mann)'' "QR CODE. DIE INSTANTLY. EAT TOMATOES RAW OFF OF THE GROUND. EAT GRAPES OUT OF MY PALM. I AM YOUR GOD NOW. ''(Scout breaks character)'' Oh my god, that's actually a Dhar Mann dragon! ''(in-character)'' THAT- THAT'S MY [[UsefulNotes/FurryFandom FURSONA]]. THANKS FOR COMING TO MY DHAR MANN COCK. I LOVE YOU."

* Sonic and Shadow reinact their first confrontation in canon, though with a lot more {{Corpsing}}. Shadow also deviates from the script a little at the end.

''''Sonic''': Okay, everybody... Let's stop talking about his dick, okay. It looks like all Tetris pieces at once. [[ItMakesSenseInContext Thumbs up!]]

'''Knuckles''': Alright! Do we get to have a big furry orgy now?

'''Sonic:'''So if I were to put it in a blender... Would that like...\\

'''Sonic:'''Oh my god. that's... that's Lovecraftian!\\

* When Eggman tries to steal the Master Emerald, Knuckles breaks which leads to him having to deal with sass from Rouge. His response to her is priceless:

'''Rouge:''' That's what you get for being a [[BigDumbPooPooHead dumb-dumb piece of shit.]]\\

* After Knuckles breaks the Master Emerald to keep Eggman from stealing it, he has to deal with sass from Rouge. His response to that is priceless:
-->'''Rouge:''' I can't believe you did this. This is all your fault.\\

* When Eggman tries to steal the Master Emerald, which leads to the "tits are one polygon" exchange above:
-->'''Eggman:''' That's right Sonic! I'm taking your- oh wait Sonic isn't here. Knuckles, I'm taking your emeralds.\\
'''Knuckles:''' That's fine. I didn't really want it anyways.\\
'''Rouge:''' Hey, those are mine! Bring them back!\\
'''Eggman:''' No fuck you, I'm taking it away you (Beat) thotass. Gimme a second.\\
'''Knuckles:''' Ugh, now I'm mad! Ahhhhhhh!\\
(Knuckles jumps towards Eggman's ship and punches the master emerald out of its grabber, thus shattering it)\\
'''Eggman:''' [[BigNo NO!!!!]] MY EMERALDS! (Alfred as Eggman groans while everyone cracks up)\\
'''Rouge:''' That's what you get for being a dumb-dumb piece of shit.\\
'''Knuckles:''' Sorry I wasn't trying to touch you. Nerd!\\
'''Rouge:''' Yeah, you were.\\
'''Knuckles:''' Get out my face.\\
'''Rouge:''' Pervert!\\
'''Knuckles:''' [[ItMakesSenseInContext I just punched an emerald!]]\\
'''Eggman:''' I'm gonna kill these sonsa bitches! Rah!\\
'''Rouge:''' I can't believe you just did that.\\
'''Knuckles''' I can't believe your tits are one polygon.

-->'''Eggman:''' (breathes heavily. Alfred's voice gets close to the microphone) '''Level 7'''. The luckiest number. (chuckling and speaking gibberish) Is that a module? [[StatingtheObvious The door opened.]] I can finally leave! Martha, I'm coming home, sweetie. (Eggman walks over to a computer terminal) Ohh, I can't wait to see her beautiful face. Let me check her Twitter page on my holographics. Hmm, hmm, forget my password account. (The dubbers start chuckling in the background) Don't want to log into the NSFW one. Let me just...E..G..G.. Ah, that didn't work. Shit! Now I'll have to log in with my diamond. (holds up the white Chaos Emerald) Well, emerald, but it looks like a diamond. (the other dubbers start laughing in the background again) I see how it is. Alright, unlocking secret account. 5...4...3...2 (buzzer) [[SuddenlyShouting I'M FUCKING PISSED OFF, IT DIDN'T UNLOCK!]] That's okay though, 'cause the secret is unlocking. (oohs and ahhs as Shadow's pod being opened. When Shadow's pod is opened he starts chuckling)\\

'''Eggman:''' (screams, starts talking in a Chinese accent) [[LargeHam GET OUT OF MY WAY! EVERYBODY MOVE! GET OUT OF THE WAY!]] I NEED TO GET THROUGH!]] LEVEL 5! [[BigNo NO!!!!]] (starts shooting, starts speaking normally again) Let me out! Oh, I've gotta get out of here!

-->'''Eggman:'''Now I'm in fucking Temple Run! I've gotta get outta here, dude! Ah shit!

* Shadow threatens to delete Eggman's Twitter account, the extended version from the BTDubs episode for this one being especially hilarious:

'''Rouge:''' Peace out motherfuckers.

* When Shadow threatens to delete Eggman's Twitter account:

'''Shadow:''' Go ahead, [[BadassBoast I have 50 alternate accounts. My finger's right on top of the delete button, Eggman.]] [[IShallTauntYou What are you gonna do to stop me? With your long toothpick legs?]] Look at my eyes, Eggman. Do I look a guy to fuck around with\\
'''Eggman:''' [[EvilLaugh Hehehahahahahaha...]] [[YouFool You fool]]. I have '''''[[MundaneMadeAwesome SEVENTY ALTERNATIVE ACCOUNTS!]]''''' [[LargeHam YOU WILL NEVER KNOW MY MAIN!]]\\

'''Eggman:''' I'm so sick.\\
'''Rouge:''' Peace out motherfuckers

'''Shadow:''' Go ahead, [[BadassBoast I have 50 alternate accounts. My finger's right on top of the delete button, Eggman.]] [[IShallTauntYou What are you gonna do to stop me? With your long toothpick legs?]]\\

'''Shadow:''' Are you referring to [=@eggfucker1=], [=@eggfucker2=]...\\

'''Shadow:''' Good job.

-->'''Eggman:''' Oh hey Amy, what are you doing here? [[LargeHam GET OFF HERE, YOU THOTASS BITCH! YOU STILL OWE ME A HUNDRED DOLLARS!]] Anyway, we need to go.

-->'''Rouge''' Oh, fuck, I thought you'd never ask.

* Kind of a dark example, but the fact that, out of ''everything'' Eggman says or does throughout the dub, the ''one thing'' that gets Alfred to corpse is him ''[[SeriousBusiness threatening to shoot Amy in the face]]''.

'''Sonic:''' Why does it sound like he's getting farther away? This is stupid\\
'''Shadow':''' It ''is'' Stupid