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* Harry is late for a quidditch match due to sneaking into the chamber of secrets. When Neville asks where he was...
--> '''Harry:''' Bathroom.
--> '''Neville:''' For four hours?
--> '''Harry:''' When you gotta go...
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* And then there's how Herminione defeats a boggart [=McGonagall=] telling her she failed her classes by making it speak in a Shakespearean sonnet:

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* And then there's how Herminione Hermione defeats a boggart [=McGonagall=] telling her she failed her classes by making it speak in a Shakespearean sonnet:

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* Sirius as a teacher. Also, his plan for dealing with Snape: Leave him alone until the paranoia builds, ''then'' start pranking him. Which he does. By changing his appearance on a regular basis.

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* Sirius as a teacher. Also, his plan for dealing with Snape: [[ParanoiaGambit Leave him alone until the paranoia builds, builds]], ''then'' start pranking him. Which he does. By changing his appearance on a regular basis.basis.
** It's implied that Snape gives just as good as he gets, though, at some point even managing to turn Sirius into a Veela. It's almost as if those two would be friends if they weren't at each others' throats all the time.
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--> '''Cedric:''' [[SarcasmMode Fantastic.]] [[DeadpanSnarker I imagine it's almost as nice as having everyone decide that your greatest achievement will be making it to your second birthday, something everyone else has managed just fine without getting famous.]]

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--> '''Cedric:''' [[SarcasmMode Fantastic.]] [[DeadpanSnarker I imagine it's almost as nice as having everyone decide that your greatest achievement will be making it to your second birthday, something everyone else has managed just fine without getting famous.]]



--> '''Ollivander''': [[DeadpanSnarker I would suspect it is because you are a menace to society.]]

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--> '''Ollivander''': [[DeadpanSnarker I would suspect it is because you are a menace to society.]]
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* Any time Harry brings up his " psychic" scar.

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* Any time Harry brings up his " psychic" "psychic" scar.
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** Lockhart idly asks if it's even possible to beat someone to death with a paper napkin. Harry tells him he'll have fun trying.

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!!Administrivia/SpoilersOff applies to all Funny pages, so all spoilers are unmarked. Administrivia/YouHaveBeenWarned!



** Hilariously, [[spoiler: this backfires when Cedric is portkeyed to the graveyard and has a minor panic attack.]]

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** Hilariously, [[spoiler: Hilariously, this backfires when Cedric is portkeyed to the graveyard and has a minor panic attack.]]



* In chapter 45, when Ginny volunteers to be the thing Harry needs to get in the second task. He gives her his "favorite lucky rock" [[spoiler: which is actually a time-activated portkey. Harry's plan is to not have to go into the lake at all.]]

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* In chapter 45, when Ginny volunteers to be the thing Harry needs to get in the second task. He gives her his "favorite lucky rock" [[spoiler: which is actually a time-activated portkey. Harry's plan is to not have to go into the lake at all.]]



* After [[spoiler: Fred ''and'' George finagle themselves into the Triwizard Tournament/Pentawizard Playoffs]], Molly sends them [[LoudOfWar a Howler]] which Harry nullifies with Muffliato; unfortunately, this means they don't have a good sense of how angry Molly really is, so they have to get the details from Percy, who advises them to stay at Hogwarts for Easter. ''During the Yule Ball.''

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* After [[spoiler: Fred ''and'' George finagle themselves into the Triwizard Tournament/Pentawizard Playoffs]], Playoffs, Molly sends them [[LoudOfWar a Howler]] which Harry nullifies with Muffliato; unfortunately, this means they don't have a good sense of how angry Molly really is, so they have to get the details from Percy, who advises them to stay at Hogwarts for Easter. ''During the Yule Ball.''
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* As well as after the "quiz," Lockhart gave on the first day of DADA, Harry subtly drops hints about Lockhart's true nature. Which gets called upon after class...
--> '''Lockhart''': "I wanted to talk to you about your quiz yesterday, It wasn't anything from my books, of course, but still it was all quite amusing. Some of your answers did make me wonder, however. What exactly do you know about-"
--> '''Harry''': "Your habit of tracking down well-meaning but publicity-shy individuals who rid their local populace of whatever form of magical creature ails them and Obliviating them?
--> "Well, it's certainly not very nice. Still, if they had wanted the credit, they would have publicized their exploits better before you had time to hear of it and track them down," Harry replied. "There's nothing I could do to change the fact that you stole those people's memories and their accomplishments and since Professor Dumbledore believes in unlimited second chances, he wouldn't do anything about it even if I told him. So, basically, as long as you don't try to Obliviate me or one of my friends, I don't really plan on doing anything. Oh, and if you try to steal one of my accomplishments, I will beat you to death with a paper napkin."
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** Neville has to face Boggart!Minister!Harry ''again'' at end-of-the-year exams and ''runs away screaming''.
-->'''Neville''': You wouldn't...REALLY...convert your old house into a haunted house, would you? Or allow people to keep their name off of the list of registered animagus by paying extra? Or allow Goblins to use wands on Mondays [[BrickJoke since those don't exist]]? Or make everyone wear pink on Thursdays? Or make 'Do the Hippogriff' by the Weird Sisters Magical Britain's national anthem? Or regularly import llamas and release them in random places? Or--
-->'''Hermione''': Dear God, how many of those do you have?
-->'''Neville''': Remember, I was in there for awhile.
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* After [[spoiler: Fred ''and'' George finagle themselves into the Triwizard Tournament/Pentawizard Playoffs]], Molly sends them [[LoudOfWar a Howler]] which Harry nullifies with Muffliato; unfortunately, this means they don't have a good sense of how angry Molly really is, so they have to get the details from Percy, who advises them to stay at Hogwarts for Easter. ''During the Yule Ball.''

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Removing This Troper.


* The very title of the story can have you in stitches.



* The very title of the story had me in ''stitches''.
* And then there's how Herminione defeats a boggart [=McGonagall=] telling her she failed her classes by making it speak in rhyming verse:

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* The very title of the story had me in ''stitches''.
* And then there's how Herminione defeats a boggart [=McGonagall=] telling her she failed her classes by making it speak in rhyming verse:a Shakespearean sonnet:



** Dude, that's not just rhyming verse, that's a SONNET.
** And then for Lupin's DADA exam, Hermione makes Boggart![=McGonagall=] ''rap an opera about her failings''. [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer I couldn't make this up if I tried, folks]].

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** Dude, that's not just rhyming verse, that's a SONNET.
** And then for Lupin's DADA exam, Hermione makes Boggart![=McGonagall=] ''rap an opera about her failings''. [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer I couldn't make this up if I tried, folks]].
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* When Harry asks Hermione to apologise to his scar, for having expressed doubt in it. Even better when an exasperated Hermione ''does''.
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* Early on, Harry hires Fred and George Weasley to pelt the back of Quirrel's head(where Voldemort resides) with snow. Constantly. Until the snow melts.

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* Early on, Harry hires Fred and George Weasley to pelt the back of Quirrel's head(where head (where Voldemort resides) with snow. Constantly. Until the snow melts.
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* Cedric and Harry discussing whether the latter's scar is attracted to Cedric.
--> '''Cedric''': I, too, feel it would be rather awkward to have my friend's supposedly psychic 'facial disfigurement' in love with me. I mean, there's no way I'd even know unless you told me, but - knowing you - you probably would. In excruciating detail.
--> '''Harry''': If I would have to deal with it, so would you.
** Then later:
--> '''Cedric''': I'm going to take the fact that you didn't feel the need to mention this to me as a clear sign that your scar sees me as just a friend and then let the matter drop.
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* The PinkyAndTheBrain reference in the last chapter and Remus's deadpan response to it:

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* The PinkyAndTheBrain WesternAnimation/PinkyAndTheBrain reference in the last chapter and Remus's deadpan response to it:
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* Harry has to know why Ollivander can touch every wand out there, while half the ones Harry touched turns out to cause some manner of disaster or destruction.
--> '''Ollivander''': [[DeadpanSnarker I would suspect it is because you are a menace to society.]]
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* Early on, Harry hires Fred and George Weasley to pelt the back of Quirrel's head(where Voldemort resides) with snow. Constantly. Until the snow melts.
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--> Harry: How does it feel to have your father deciding that winning an amateur Quidditch Match is going to be your greatest achievement in life?
--> Cedric: [[SarcasmMode Fantastic.]] [[DeadpanSnarker I imagine it's almost as nice as having everyone decide that your greatest achievement will be making it to your second birthday, something everyone else has managed just fine without getting famous.]]

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--> Harry: '''Harry:''' How does it feel to have your father deciding that winning an amateur Quidditch Match is going to be your greatest achievement in life?
--> Cedric: '''Cedric:''' [[SarcasmMode Fantastic.]] [[DeadpanSnarker I imagine it's almost as nice as having everyone decide that your greatest achievement will be making it to your second birthday, something everyone else has managed just fine without getting famous.]]
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--> Harry: "Graveyard."
--> Cedric: (without batting an eye or thinking) "Run like Hell."

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--> Harry: "Graveyard."
'''Harry:''' Graveyard.
--> Cedric: (without '''Cedric:''' ''[without batting an eye or thinking) "Run thinking]'' Run like Hell."
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---> "What were you doing in the library?" Hermione asked, uncertain she wanted to know.
---> "Checking out two copies of Hogwarts: A History," Luna replied brightly.
---> Harry laughed. "I love you Luna, I really do."

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---> --> "What were you doing in the library?" Hermione asked, uncertain she wanted to know.
---> --> "Checking out two copies of Hogwarts: A History," Luna replied brightly.
---> --> Harry laughed. "I love you Luna, I really do."



---> '''Sirius:''' And I'm sure she could castrate you far better than I ever could.

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---> --> '''Sirius:''' And I'm sure she could castrate you far better than I ever could.
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---> And I'm sure she could castrate you far better than I ever could.

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---> '''Sirius:''' And I'm sure she could castrate you far better than I ever could.



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* In a similar vein, the rumor Harry started up that Draco is the love-child of Minerva and Snape. ''This'', more than anything, becomes the cornerstone of their new-timeline relationship for years to come.

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* In a similar vein, the rumor Harry started up that Draco is the love-child of Minerva Narcissa and Snape. ''This'', more than anything, becomes the cornerstone of their new-timeline relationship for years to come.
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* In a similar vein, the rumor Harry started up that Draco is the love-child of Minerva and Snape. ''This'', more than anything, becomes the cornerstone of their new-timeline relationship for years to come.
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* Any time Harry brings up his " psychic" scar. ''Any time''!

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* Any time Harry brings up his " psychic" scar. ''Any time''!
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** And Cedric's reaction to ''this''?

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** And Cedric's Luna's reaction to ''this''?
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* Dobby gets this hilarious moment:
--> '''Harry''': Wait... Didn't Draco order you not to try to save my life or to try and drive me from the castle?
--> '''Dobby''': Dobby wasn't trying to save the Great Harry Potter's life nor was he trying to send him away from Hogwarts. [[ExactWords Dobby was trying to break Harry Potter's arm.]]
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* Any time Harry brings up his " psychic" scar. ''Any time''/

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* Any time Harry brings up his " psychic" scar. ''Any time''/time''!
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** And Cedrics reaction to ''this''?

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** And Cedrics Cedric's reaction to ''this''?



** And then for Lupin's DADA exam, Hermione makes Boggart!McGonagall ''rap an opera about her failings''. [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer I couldn't make this up if I tried, folks]].

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** And then for Lupin's DADA exam, Hermione makes Boggart!McGonagall Boggart![=McGonagall=] ''rap an opera about her failings''. [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer I couldn't make this up if I tried, folks]].



--> '''Harry''': I know, but I want to. Besides, this way you know at the very least I'll be trying to get my rock back

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--> '''Harry''': I know, but I want to. Besides, this way you know at the very least I'll be trying to get my rock backback.
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** And then for Lupin's DADA exam, Hermione makes Boggart!McGonagall ''rap an opera about her failings''. [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer I couldn't make this up if I tried, folks]].

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