History Funny / OfGemstonesAndWatches

* Mercury tries to use the Proto-Tool to take Rook out, only to fail because he held it ''backwards''.

-->Cardin: We've been training hard, y'know. Don't think we haven't been studying your moves during training time.
--> Ben: ...so you've been voyeuring us? Ewwwww.
--> Cardin: No! Not like that! We're just...studying your every move...
--> Kevin: Can't blame him. Can't help if Ben, Blonko, and I get all the attention from both sides~
--> Cardin: Please! If we'd spy on one of you, it'd be her!
--> [beat]
--> Ceres: Alright, we were just joking at first, but now I'm really looking forward to hurting you.
--> Kylie: I'm glad I was excluded from your ogling.

--> Ben grinned as he kicked the balls at Cardin. He raised up his weapon and started to deflect the attacks, sending them flying across the arena...And then one hit Ceres in the head. She turned around and glared. You know that one scene in the Justice League cartoon where Wonder Woman gets hit by a soldier and she gives him a look that says 'You're dead, jackass'?
--> Yeah. Cardin was right to be worried.

---> Ben: Here lies Cardin Winchester- date of birth, April 11, 2000. Date of death, November 10th, 2018. Cause of death: attempting to be clever. He will not be missed.

*** Ben's eulogy for Cardin.

[[folder: Chapters 1 through 10]]

** The Echo Echo's unwillingness to enter the girls room.

[[folder: Chapters 11 through 20]]

---> '''Future!Ruby''': Ben is the strongest thing in this universe. And by far, the scariest. [Beat] Anyways, you guys want cookies?

[Beat]\\

[[folder: Chapters 21 through 30]]

[[folder: Chapters 31 through 40]]

** The author's note at the end makes mention to the fact Doppler is played by Arin Hanson.

[[folder: Chapters 41 through 50]]

** Kevin making a series of bad choices- from drinking BBQ sauce to eating a bunch of lava cakes, and then to eating a bunch of [=McRibs=] - you can understand why this chapter is called that.

** In the end, the Beacon team won... because the lay judge liked their outfits more tan the other team's.

** Mixed with awesome, but Velvet intimidating Cardin into submission... with wireframe holograms of Diamondhead. Weiss admits upon seeing that that Velvet scares her, with Ben saying that he doesn't think that even ''Ghostfreak'' could get such a reaction, and that he's both impressed and horrified.

[[folder: Chapters 51 through 60]]

** Ceres, Ari, Blake and Yang going to the "straightest" restaurant possible- Ceres and Ari steal silverware because "between all the members of the Zeta Squad, they have 2 sets of silverware in between all of them."

--> '''Verdona''': [Max and I] were long time friends before that. Assigned study buddies, semi daily lunch time meetings, friends who hung out beyond school, subtle hand holders...
--> '''Ben''': Getting off topic, grandma.
--> '''Verdona''': Okay, zoomer.
--> '''Ben''': ...what the hell? Since when did you know memes?
--> '''Verdona''': Oh don’t give me that look, Ken taught me that one. Honestly, you kids are impatient nowadays.

[[folder: Chapters 61 through 70]]

--> '''Maria:''' Ah yes, the Vytal Festival, such a good time. I remember breaking some guy's leg and NOT getting penalized for it. The rules these days are too soft! Bone breaking doesn't even bother us that much! Our aura can repair that wound in an hour, maybe!

[[folder: Meta]]

* Lev tests the hypothesis of whether drinking 50 Red Bulls makes you go color blind, with Kevin as his test subject.
* Maria's anger over how 'soft' the Vytal Festival's gotten.

* Qrow learns the names of Ben's teammates just so he can fuck with Ben.
** Later, he just calls him Floyd.
* The kids roast the hell out of Qrow's fashion sense when he was young.
* Qrow's nickname was Milk because of a low test score.
* Ruby using Blake’s ‘Ninjas of Love’ dakimakura to make a pillow fort.

---> '''Maria:''' Ah yes, the Vytal Festival, such a good time. I remember breaking some guy's leg and NOT getting penalized for it. The rules these days are too soft! Bone breaking doesn't even bother us that much! Our aura can repair that wound in an hour, maybe!

[[folder: Chapters 51-60]]

[[folder:Chapter 1 through 10]]

[[/hide]]
[[folder:Chapter 11 through 20]]

[[/hide]]
[[folder:Chapter 21 through 30]]

[[/hide]]
[[folder:Chapter 31 through 40]]

[/hide]
[[folder:Chapter 41 through 50]]

[[/hide]]
[[folder:Meta]]

[[/hide]]

* [[https://drive.google.com/file/d/1LtkAz6Ccsb54pxR7BE0f5zc9DD06pVNt/view The fan credits]] have a lot of funny images;
** A chibi Ben and Ruby looking adorably horrified.
** A Walkatrout wearing a cowboy hat, boots and smoking a cigar.
** Ben and Kevin screaming and holding onto an annoyed Ruby.
** An annoyed Ceres kicking Ben in the jaw, with Rook looking on.
** Ruby yeeting Grey Matter, Walkatrout...and attempting to yeet '''Cannonbolt'''.
** Neo excitedly hugging onto Albedo's side as he casually looks at a vial in his hand.
** Ari dramatically giving Ben a "talk to hand".
** Kylie and Kevin in a "get along" T-Shirt.
** Ruby calling Kevin "emo edgy Ben".
** A chibi Ruby holding onto a bowl full of chips and cookies.
** Ben and Ruby showing Rook memes. Rook does not understand.

* "The Blanket Fort" has Ruby pounding on the door, referencing to the Eric Andre show as she's accidentally locked out.
* "Kevin Puts His Health at Risk": just the title alone should get some attention.
** Kevin making a series of bad choices- from drinking BBQ sauce to eating a bunch of lava cakes, and then to eating a bunch of [=McRibs=] - you can understand why this chapter is called that.
** Lev apparently challenged Kevin to eat those [=McRibs=] because he KNOWS he would win.
** Kevin sees Jesus after his Lava Cake challenge.

* "The Debate Team's Secret Weapon" has some gems:

* Chapter 44:

* Chapter 45
** Weiss has the misfortune of being randomly assigned to work with [[{{Jerkass}} Cardin]] on a project. In the end, she did most of the work, so she didn't put his name on the project. When Ben remarks that doing so was cold, Weiss responds that she grew up in Atlas, she's seen colder.

* Chapter 46: