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Funny / Of Gemstones and Watches

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When you see what Max made for dinner tonight

All comedy is derived from fear.
  • A lot of Ben and Ruby's relationship is hilarious;
    • Their first scene together ends with Ruby asking why Ben was hanging from a tree branch by his undies.
    • When Ben makes his way back to the Rustbucket after turning into Heatblast for the first time, Ruby hits him with a fire extinguisher.
    • When Ruby realizes that the Omnitrix an alien device, she's awestruck, which weirds Ben out a bit since she's ignoring the fire around her. When he asks how she knows that it's "alien stuff", she points out that it "came from the sky" while crossing her arms.
    • Ruby chasing Echo Echo through the forest.
    • Ruby and Ben wonder if Lady Liberty is a fascist stomper. Ben doesn't know what a fascist is.
    • When they wonder if they're going to find mermaids underwater, Ruby wants them to be the scary, "eat-your-face-off" kind, which Ben just finds weird.
    • Ben and Ruby pointing out to Gwen that saying that a trophy is solid gold is just asking for it to be stolen.

  • Chapter 2
    • "Uh, we got a grab-and-dash in Electronics. Male, five-foot-six, riding on a giant frog or a toad. Trust me, you can't miss him...and beware the frog."
    • Ruby wears heelies.
    • Ben is rather flabbergasted that Animo robbed the store just because he needed batteries.
    • Ruby debating whether Astrodactyl could take down Animo's T-Rex.
    "Well, given dinosaur facts…" Ruby said. "I think the T-Rex would win given the smaller, frailer form of the pterodactyl. You know, cause the T-rex has a large jaw, size…"
    Ben gasped, offended. "Oh? Really then!" He opened his mouth wide, and fired a flurry of strange, green wisps that flew at the bird, exploding upon contact. The bird fell to the ground, with a big SPLAT! "CAN PTERODACTYLS DO THAT?"
    Ruby blinked. "Ok, yeah, I think you win the matchup."

  • Chapter 3
    • The opening pokes fun at the original opening scene of the episode.
    "And for you?" The older employee asked Ben. Ben thought for a second, before hearing a loud, metal thrash outside. He mischievously grinned, knowing something was up.
    "I'm gonna go with rocky road," he quipped. He then turned out the door, activating the watch. The man just stared at him as he ran outside.
    ("...the heck was that about? Kid can't just run away when he's giving his order," the employee thought.)

  • Chapter 4
    • When Ben asks what Badminton is, Ruby calls it "tennis for people in denial".
    • Ben is surprised to learn that Max actually uses Facebook.
    • Ruby bites Animo on the neck.

  • Chapter 5
    • The whiplash of Ruby threatening to break Ben's teeth if he uses his aliens to sneak into the room with the Sumo Slammers game, then returning to her cheery self.
    • The author's note about the kids playing a Smash Brothers arcade game, saying that they can do whatever they want because it's an AU.
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    • This exchange;
    Ben: Why didn't [Yang] come on the road trip?
    Ruby: Training.
    Ben: Oh, is she on some sport team?

  • Chapter 6
    • Edwin wondering how the heck Ben turns into different aliens.

  • Chapter 7
    • Ben turning into Spidermonkey to fight the Circus Freaks and making a joke about it being the wind when Acid Breath hears the transformation, with Acid Breath taking a second to notice the monkey-like alien above him even after he starts to respond.
    • This exchange;
    Zombozo: What, are you some kind of...Spidermonkey?
    • Acid Breath's half-hearted attempt to recruit Ben.

  • Chapter 8
    • When Ruby first meets Gwen, she finds her worse than what Ben described, and wondered who put "salt in her milk". Ben finds the analogy weird.
    • Ruby's confusion of Echo Echo's echolocation.
    • The Echo Echo's unwillingness to enter the girls room.
      • The bit about Ruby parting the group like the Red Sea is a funny description.

  • Chapter 9
    • Steam Smythe is described as the "baby boomer's baby boomer".
    • Smythe interrupting his rant to wonder what the heck Ben is doing with Cannonbolt (seeing if he has magnetism powers).

  • Chapter 10
    • When Ben sees Crescent Rose, he briefly wants to trade with Ruby.
    • Ben hiding in the tree and watching Ruby slice through the Grimm.

  • Chapter 11
    • Ruby playing Pokémon Ruby, of all games.
    • Ben DESTROYING Cardin in the cage match. The camp learned how loud Cardin could scream that day.
    • A brief cameo from someone...
    Nora: Ten bucks on Yang! BREAK HIS LEGS!

  • Chapter 12
    • Max doesn't get why Ruby and Ben find his cooking so nasty, thinking that they're just picky.
    • Ben calling Anna from the camp a "weird lady", which she's rather hurt by. Ruby thinks that Anna is weird too, but she didn't say anything.
    • Ben and Ruby's intense game of mini golf, especially the brief verbal fight.
    Ben: And that's what I call a hole in one!
    Ruby: Show off.
    Ben: Says the girl with the giant scythe.
    Ruby: You really wanna call me out, chandelier face? That was less of an insult and more of a compliment.
    Ben: Chandelier face? Oh, you're FUNNY.

  • Chapter 13
    • Anna and Verdona just watching the fight and eating.
    • Kevin and Ben's various back and forths about alien names.
    • This exchange;
    Ruby: You two certainly...destroyed this place.
    Ben: Believe me, his aliens are a lot worse than mine. Look what he did to my shirt!
    Ruby: Ben, you have like ten of the same shirt. Why does it even matter?

  • Chapter 14
    Future Ruby: Ben is the strongest thing in this universe. And by far, the scariest. [Beat] Anyways, you guys want cookies?
    • Future Ruby revealing to Ben 10k that she's pregnant.

  • Chapter 15
    • The VERY reserved reaction of the Tennyson family when they find out Ben can transform into aliens.
      • Carl and Sandra are more concerned about ice cream than the fact their kid is a superhero.
    • Max's visible confusion upon seeing Sunny.
    • Joel cringing upon hearing his father's AWFUL jokes about marriage.
    • Lucy and Sunny playing the knife game. Carl is unnerved.
    • Ben uses his aliens to help set up the wedding and gets paid as a result... the amount being big enough that his parents are flabbergasted.
    • The horrible suit being burned. Ben and Ruby make smores over the fire.

  • Chapter 16
    • One of the Bens initially wants to name Slapback Bullfrag.
    • This exchange;
    Ben: to awkwardly wait to time out and rejoin society!
    Ruby: ...this is a dumb plan.
    Ben: Yeah, I know.

  • Chapter 17
    • When Wes hears the name Blitwolfer, he asks Ben if he really named an alien after a CNN host. Ben has no idea what CNN is.

  • Chapter 18
    • Steam Smythe getting angry at Ben and Ruby for destroying his blimp, noting how much it costs.
    • Kevin managed to escape from the Vreedle Brothers because they threw the pin instead of the grenade and blew themselves up.

  • Chapter 19
    • The kids are admiring the scenery... until Kevin runs out of camera film and suggests that they play Sumo Slammers.
    • Max's reaction to Super Alien Hero Buddies.
    • The Super Alien Hero Buddies version of Water Hazard wets himself, much to Ben and Ruby's annoyance.
    • Bit of a meta example; a reviewer praised Emerald and Charmcaster's "friendship".

  • Chapter 20
    • None of the kids are very sorry that Max couldn't find what he was looking for at the mall, though they pretend otherwise to spare his feelings.
    • A quick Take That! to the Ultimate Alien era of Ben 10.
    Ben: It's kind of a shame that he doesn't use the ultimates more often.
    Ruby: Yeah, kind of defeats the whole gimmick of the series. And even when he does, they're usually small. Remember when he used it against the Lord of all Evil during the Hero Generation finale? That was a cool time to use it. Not during some stupid battle in a tunnel.
    Ben: Yeah. Plus, when anti-Ishyama used it against him? Totally awesome. Seeing the Jurassic techniques at their fullest were some of the coolest moments of Hero Generation.
    Ruby: I'm glad someone sees where I'm coming from! Mega Sumos is just a lame continuation of Hero Generation.

  • Chapter 21
    • Animo had a dolphin/raccoon hybrid idea as some kind of inside joke with himself.
    • Animo wonders if Ruby even attends school, due to her biting him on the neck earlier that summer.

  • Chapter 22

  • Chapter 23
    • At one point in the fight Ben takes a bite out of Vilgax and swallows it... and still finds it better than Max's cooking.

  • Chapter 24
    • Ruby's reaction to Vilgax turning out to still be alive.

  • Chapter 25
    • Ben expressing disbelief that high school could be worse than middle school.

  • Chapter 26
    • Kevin's reaction to finding out that Kwarrel is a therapist.

  • 27
    • Kylie comes into the meeting room, telling Kevin that Max is apparently plotting something before she notices Ben is in the room too. She then asks him to ignore what she just said, only for him to bring it up again after he recognizes her. Kevin even gives her a look and asks why she thought that he'd drop it.
    • Everyone in Zeta Squadron's disgusted reaction to the idea of "mandatory fun".

  • Chapter 28
    • Ben explains to Ruby that Rook stays with his family because the rent in Bellwood is rather high. Later, as Rath, he guesses that the bank robbers are trying to pay off either student loans or a really big rent, prompting one of them to nudge another and to say that he gets it.
    • Ben tries to turn into Big Chill, but ends up as Rath, who Ruby refers to as a steroid-fueled Hobbes, and tries to suplex a wall.
    • Kylie apparently kept demanding pictures of Echo Echo from Ben, with Ben finally giving her some as an early birthday present.

  • Chapter 29
    • Roman being Mistaken for Junkie by a cop when he asks about "Dust", thinking that he means PCP and not a type of crystal with mystical powers.
    • Roman was caught off guard by Ben's abilities because he didn't pay attention during the debriefing.

  • Chapter 30
    • Manny and Hellen talk about Pakmar's newest business, and Ben gets a Sneeze Cut when the former wonders who is responsible for Pakmar's enterprises getting wrecked.
    • Psyphon's drug is called "Crystal Dolphin".

  • Chapter 31
    • Everyone's reactions to Yang bringing Monopoly.
    • The chaotic force that is Lev.
      • "Live a little. Drink a little. Do donuts in a stolen police car. You know, normal Archimedean things.”
      • Lev throwing Monopoly into the fire. "This game has plagued family game nights for decades, ripping children from their mothers’ arms and shattering full and happy marriages!"
    • “They brought booze and Monopoly" is enough to get everyone screaming.
    • Apparently Kylie once slept through an attack by a Lancer swarm.

  • Chapter 32
    • Ruby is a little too happy when Animo's mutant ray gives her a Petrosapien arm, especially after she figures out how to turn it into a scythe.
    • Rook is turned part Upchuck like in canon, and it's hilarious.
    • Weiss is transformed into a Sonorosian (Echo Echo's species), by Animo's ray. Predictably, Kylie, who finds Echo Echo adorable, is cuddling her like a living teddy bear right up until she returns to normal.
    • Everyone's reaction to Doppler boils down to "what the fuck is that".
    • The author's note at the end makes mention to the fact Doppler is played by Arin Hanson.

  • Chapter 33:
    • Weiss doesn't believe Ben and Ruby about Xingo at first, but then Rook mentions encountering him as well.
    • When Yang suggests playing a game of "assassin", Weiss doesn't know what it is. When Blake points out that Weiss is the most sheltered of them all, Weiss is a bit hurt by the comment, but completely agrees.
    • Kylie tries to tease Yang about her and Blake, only for Yang to turn the tables and ask about Kylie and Weiss.
    • Albedo's casual nature throughout the chapter.
    • Ruby using Ben's fear of peacocks against Albedo, and later on Ben himself.
    • The horrified reactions of the heroes to Albedo's calm, rational, and skinny Rath.

  • Chapter 34:
    • Ruby did not miss Max's cooking, and discreetly throws her "burger" into the lake the first chance that she gets.
    • Ruby has some initial trouble with teenager Gwen since she's smiling and actually getting along with Ben without correcting him every 33 seconds.
    • Kevin very bluntly asking Ben why he and Ruby aren't dating yet.
    • "Missed me, missed me, now you gotta get KICKED IN THE FACE!"

  • Chapter 35:
    • Despite sharing emotions just a few pages ago, Yang is willing to prank Ben.
    • Zs'skayr ditching Roman in an empty vault.
    Roman: Fuck that guy.

  • Chapter 36:
    • When Ben uses Upgrade to make something, there's an incident mentioned where he caused a lot of chaos trying to make mac and cheese.
    • Ruby manages to turn Rath into a scaredy cat by sneaking up on him.
    • Ben calling the LED weapon he used against Zs'Skayr a "vomit gun".
    • Ceres telling the team to keep a Zs'skayr possessed Rook in one piece because "she likes him."
    • Zs'skayr briefly takes over Kylie to attack the group, but only manages to take over one side of her body thanks to her aura. How does Kylie try to get him out of her body? By slapping herself in the face.
    Zs'skayr: Have you no dignity, child?!
    Kylie: Bold of you to assume...I had the first place!

  • Chapter 37:
    • Ben meets a Galvan that is clearly Azmuth... and he assumes that he's just some weirdo who crashed Max's memorial service.
    • After the troopers Servantis brings refuse to attack Ben and company, one of the women shamelessly says that Ceres makes her question her sexuality. Ceres then points finger guns at her, causing her to squeal and nearly faint.

  • Chapter 38:
    • After taking down Servantis, Ruby is a little ticked because Ben yelled right in her ear.

  • The fan credits have a lot of funny images;
    • A chibi Ben and Ruby looking adorably horrified.
    • A Walkatrout wearing a cowboy hat, boots and smoking a cigar.
    • Ben and Kevin screaming and holding onto an annoyed Ruby.
    • An annoyed Ceres kicking Ben in the jaw, with Rook looking on.
    • Ruby yeeting Grey Matter, Walkatrout...and attempting to yeet Cannonbolt.
    • Neo excitedly hugging onto Albedo's side as he casually looks at a vial in his hand.
    • Ari dramatically giving Ben a "talk to hand".
    • Kylie and Kevin in a "get along" T-Shirt.
    • Ruby calling Kevin "emo edgy Ben".
    • A chibi Ruby holding onto a bowl full of chips and cookies.
    • Ben and Ruby showing Rook memes. Rook does not understand.


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