History Funny / MediEvil

-->*POOF!* Awwwk-bok-bok-bok-bok!...No, that's not right...

-->'''Magic Sword:''' ''Wielded by countless heroes. [[MyFriendsAndZoidburg And you.]]''

--->*POOF!* *sheep bleats* [[{{Squick}} Ohh! ...Oh, not right now!]]

-->'''Woden The Mighty''': Fortesque, you jawless arrow-magnet! What are you doing back here?!

--->'''Karl Sturnguard''': People say to me ‘Sturnguard, what do you think of that sword or that axe’ but I say to them [[SuddenlyShouting ‘NEIN!’]] (Dan flinches In surprise) ‘Modern warfare is a question of science, the science of shields!’

-->'''Captain''': I want that scurvy dog dangling from yon yardam by his bowelllllls.

-->'''Copper Shield''': ''Less protective plate, more dinner plate''.
-->'''Magic Sword''': ''Wielded by countless heroes. And you!''
-->'''Dan's Helmet''': ''Weak against arrows. And everything else.''

-->'''King''': My God, Fortesque, what happened to your jaw?\\
'''Dan''': It fell off!\\
'''King''': Bad luck, old man.

-->'''Zombies''': ''These guys were fashionably undead before it was fashionable to BE undead.''
-->'''Boulder Gargoyles''': ''These guardian gargoyles are not much for conversation. And don't ask to hear their singing voice. Unless you're into rock and roll. Ba-dumm, tiss.''
-->'''Bats''': ''They're vampire bats. Actually they're just bats, but they bite. That's sort of vampirey.''
-->'''Pirate Officers''': ''The Pirate Captain's right hand men. Despite their lack of right hands.''
-->'''Flying Eyeballs''': ''Exactly what use is a flying eyeball without a flying brain? And without a flying mouth, how can it possibly report what it has seen? I suppose that must be why they simply try to incinerate you instead.''

--->'''Karl Sturnguard''': People say to me ‘Sturnguard what do you think of that sword or that axe’ but I say to them [[SuddenlyShouting ‘NEIN!’]] (Dan flinches In surprise) ‘Modern warfare is a question of science, the science of shields!’

** The greatest of all though is probably Sturnguard, [[LargeHam a ham to end all hams.]]

-->'''Karl Sturnguard''': People say to me ‘Sturnguard what do you think of that sword or that axe’ but I say to them [[SuddenlyShouting ‘NEIN!’]] (Dan flinches In surprise) ‘Modern warfare is a question of science, the science of shields!’

-->'''Magic Sword''': ''Wielded by countless heroes. And you!''.

* The PS4 remake introduces the Book of Gallowmere, which contains information on every character and enemy in the game. Some of the entries are downright hilarious:

-->'''Flying Eyeballs''': ''Exactly what use is a flying eyeball without a flying brain? And without a flying mouth, how can it possibly report what it has seen? I suppose that must be why they simply try to incinerate you instead.''

'''King''': Bad luck, old man.

* The Chicken Drumstick weapon is hilarious to use. When thrown, it can turn any non-boss enemy into a Roast Chicken (with a goofy *ding!* sound effect in the original or chicken clucking in the [=PS4=] remaster). Sir Dan can then eat the chicken to recover health despite him not having a jaw, or any digestive organs!

-->'''Magic Sword''': ''Wielded by countless heroes. And you!''.

-->'''Copper Shield''': ''Less protective plate, more dinner plate''.

* Bloodmonath Skull Cleaver, one of the more AxCrazy residents of the Hall of Heroes. According to a book in the Sleeping Village library, he died after trying to take on an entire fortress single-handedly. His weapon? [[SuicidalOverconfidence The spike on his helmet.]]

** Topped off by his OWA form being a rather anemic-looking dragon with his own head on it, and his "You Are Doomed" speech being interruped by more chicken clucking. This troper lost the final battle the first time around simply due to laughing too hard to play or even pause.
-->'''NONE SHALL DEFEAT THE MIGHTY ZAROK!!''' Awwwk-bokbokbokbokb--A-'''HEM'''...so prepare to die.