History Funny / JonTronSeasonTwo

'''Belos:''' [[SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome Get out of our home]].\\
'''Jon:''' ''([[ActuallyPrettyFunny cracks up laughing]])'' Well, yeah, [[JerkassHasAPoint I-I suppose that's right]]. I think anything from ''that'' [[TrespassingHero would be deviating from the norm]]. ''(Undergoes a HeroicBSOD)''

* Hercules Does What [[Creator/{{Nintendo}} Nintend]]ercules.

'''Jon:''' ''(laughs)'' He's fucking ''humming!'' That's like the ''joke'' voice people do when they're trying to '''''pretend''''' to act natural.\\

--> '''Jon:''' So to make an example of my point, I'mma play a Hercules game on the Commodore 64. 'S called Hercules. [[SarcasmMode What a name.]] Guess they didn't have to try back then, it was the '80s, all they had to worry about was [[UsefulNotes/ColdWar RONALD REAGAN TALKIN' 'BOUT GORBACHEV!]]"

--> "How'd that happen?"

--> '''Jon:''' I don't even ''caaaaare'' if I stop takin' my meds; [[NoMedicationForMe I'm NOT takin' em!]]

--> '''Matt:''' Endorse? Endorse what?
--> '''Jon:''' I thought sports were played [[{{Pun}} outdorse]].
--> '''Matt:''' You wanna put my picture on a cereal box?
--> '''Jon:''' What's that? My dad's been dead 10 years, my mother's a single parent, and all I want outta life is to make it in the big leagues like my hero, Jackie Robinson?!

--> '''Jon:''' I feel like they gave this guy specific lines, but he just said "Fuck it." and [[ThrowItIn did whatever he wanted]] and they were like "(mumbling) Lunch break, (mumbling) I don't care, just leave it."

--> '''Jon:''' [[FailedASpotCheck Clearly nothing weird about that.]]

--> '''Jon:''' [[SarcasmMode As you can see, the safety procedures at this hospital are pretty much top notch]].

--> '''Judge:''' (''face in extreme close up'') Will the defendant please rise?\\

--> '''Jon:''' (''as Larry, in a creepy voice'') MM. YEAH. 'S MINE.

* His excitement for ''Pokémon Adventure'', a ''hack of a hack'' (Sonic Adventure 7), on the UsefulNotes/GameBoyColor until he finds out what the game is actually like.

--> '''Jon''': ''(Talking very fast)'' There's a jar of horseradish up there I don't know what it is but it's scary.
--> ''(Epic music plays while the camera zooms in on it.)''

* What Jon surmised after the famous Creator/{{Takeshi Kitano}} tried his hand at video game design.
--> '''Jon''': After that, the sea floor split open and swallowed the Caribbean. Earthquakes ravaged the west coast of America and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking goblins were still really, really scary!]] ''(Cut to Jon)'' Ew, I don't like 'em! I don't like goblins! ...Waaaaugh!

--> ''(Shot of a sales chart that bottoms out past the bottom of the graph.)''
--> '''Jon:''' ''(Voice trailing off as the music gets distorted)'' Oh... Merry Christmas, Japan, 1986... [[note]]The chart is a reference to the Japanese asset price bubble that lasted from 1986 to 1991.[[/note]]

--> '''Jon:''' Grilled Mormo--Mor--MORMONS?! ''(Drunk-sounding as the camera reels and creepy music plays)'' Oh, what's going on, I didn't know it was alright to eat those guys...Better-better should check the Broble, make su- make sure that's okay...

--> "But... the others..." ''([[http://gfycat.com/SneakyPastelArkshell considers the situation]])'' "[[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Fuck it!]]" ''(car peels out of garage explosively)''

--> '''Jon''': Can I please just tell the story? [[NoodleIncident I didn't pretend to have been in Vietnam in multiple bars across the country]] to be treated like this.

--->'''[[AllThereInTheManual VCR Taker Guy]]'''[[note]]Dominic Moschitti[[/note]]: Hey you said you had a bunch of free [=VCR=]s out here for us. And I though you may have been confused and meant to say DVD players, or maybe you didn't understand what you had. And I was coming to take that from you. So, pretty much, ''where's my shit?''

--->'''[[AllThereInTheManual Real Ghost Guy]]'''[[note]]Nick Murphy[[/note]]: Hey, you guys want to see a picture of a real ghost? (holds up a box of Boo Berry cereal) (VCR Taker Guy flinches)

--->'''Jon:''' OH JESUS GAH HO!... whawazat? Oh, is this ''manganese!?'' I think I just got flashbanged! I can only see white... is that God?
-->'''11PM Society:''' ''(leaves in disgust)''

--->'''Jon''': (happy) Hey, hey, hey, it's wearing off! Guys, I'm not blind anymore! (sees that everyone left) ... (disappointed) Now I wish I was...

-->'''Kid''': Are you a park ranger?\\
'''The Cabbie''': *chuckles* No, not me (Jon voicing over: I'm a {{serial killer}}).

--> '''Jon''': I don't think there's really an in-between on that.

--> "I shoulda let you- ''[[DisproportionateRetribution what the fuck?]]''"

-->'''The Cabbie''': There you go boys. Home of the good doctor.
-->'''Jon''': I believe that's the home of [[Literature/TheHobbit Bilbo]] [[Literature/TheLordOfTheRings Baggins]], actually.

---> "Ew, what a weird ''old guy.'' He ''died.''"

-->'''Jon:'''Whoa, God! Well, kid-uh-hey don't worry about it, you know, no sweat, we've all [[UnusualEuphemism gambled on a fart and lost]].

-->'''Jon(as Josh):'''I'll set this table REAL good! Ain't NOBODY gonna fuck with a crazy guy!

-->'''Jon''': [[FridgeLogic Who exactly sold cigars to a child?]]
* Andy's bully has hair like ramen noodles and looks like {{Music/Metallica}}.

'''Jon''': Aw yeah, weird clown music! Turn it up!\\

'''Circus Presenter''': Aww... Don't stop now, son. You're almost '''HERE'''!\\

'''Skeleton''': What's the matter, Andy? Don't you wanna have some fuuuun?! ''[[{{LaughingMad}} Hahagnyahahaha!]]''\\

'''Skeleton''': ''[[Wrestling/RandySavage Oh yeah!]]''

-->'''Jon''': Oh, and of course, don't forget everyone's favourite crime fighting alliance, "Sense of Right"! Everyone's here! ComicBook/{{Batman}}, ComicBook/{{Superman}}, Sh-WesternAnimation/{{Shrek}}? A [[Franchise/{{Cars}} car]]...? ''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck Ohhh noooo...]]''

--> '''Jon''': Whoa, hold on... 8-bit game? I thought you said dazzling 3d-graphics. Phillip, make up your goddamn mind!
-->'''Jon''': This thing has the ''audacity'' to promote, as a selling point, that it comes with ''AV cables''. Yeah, don't even get me started on the ''previous version''.\\

'''Jon''': ''(nods)'' [[{{MacGyvering}} I can make this work.]]

-->'''Jon''': Perfect for children with no necks!

---> '''Jon:''' It's gonna be a while before fair use kicks in on this one. No modding!

-->'''Jon''': ''(holding up a super-deformed plastic version of ''[[VideoGame/FireEmblemShadowDragonAndTheBladeOfLight Shadow Dragon]]''[='=]s Falchion)'' I'm a brave boy. (''cut to a shot of the protagonist getting caught by a monster, followed by an image of the boy in his underwear, chained by his neck to a peg on the wall and ''giving the monster a'' '''bath''') [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Not a brave enough boy for THIS!]]" ''(tosses Falchion over his shoulder)''

--->'''Jon''': It's... it's awful. ''[[SuddenlyShouting It's all fucking awful!]] All of it! All of 'em!'' '''EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM ''SUCKS!'''''

-->'''Jon''': MAGIKL KITCHIN'! Surprise! It's hell on earth! It's bouncing suicidal fruit and a spatula '''NECKST'''!"

-->'''Jon''': Yeah, it's a game called "Boxes World". What were you expecting, [[Literature/MaryPoppins Mary]] [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] [[Literature/MaryPoppins Poppins]]?

-->'''Jon''': This game better just be a loaded gun or a noose -- you promised me this!

--> '''Jon:''' I'm gettin' a little worn out at this point. I think I gotta take a rest. How about we book a room at the [[ItMakesSenseInContext Oto-ototel]] and have a nice '''[=NaNaNaNaNAP=]!'''

--> '''Jon:''' ''Horrible Area''? Ya got ''that'' right!

--> '''Jon:''' One of them fought and died for their cause. The other one, ehh-did a mean backstroke at summer camp.

--> '''Jon:''' Oh, I take it '''''AAAAALLLLL back! I can see now that an explicit credit was necessary!'''''

--> '''Jon:''' This is like a bad day at the Bronx Zoo...

-->'''Jon''': Ooooohhh...\\

--> '''Jon:''' Ya know, this almost looks like ''VideoGame/SuperMario64''... [[InsultToRocks I should slap myself for saying that.]]\\

--> '''Jon''': ''(Looks into the camera)'' [[WesternAnimation/TheFlintstones It's a]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOdBUJXKQiE living!]]

---> '''Announcer:''' ''(Low-pitched and slurred)'' Give thanks to God in Heaven.\\

---> '''Jon:''' ''(Upon noticing a particular flag in the background)'' [[UsefulNotes/{{Judaism}} Shalom?]] Am I missing something? Isn't that one different? Isn't that like going to [[Creator/WaltDisney Disneyland]] [[FandomRivalry and asking for]] [[Creator/WarnerBros a Bugs Bunny hat?]]

--> '''Jon:''' ''(As Noah)'' "All the gold is yours now! Also I'm the Lincoln Memorial with gold or banana peels! The graphics aren't good enough to tell! ...you still get to stare at my dick though."

--> '''Jon:''' ''(Singing)'' I don't even know what the fuck is your problem, there's a cocaine police boat! ...FROM MIAMI. But that's OK, 'cause WHY NOT? I did a bunch of coke before I made this game!

--> '''Jon:''' Y'know, to the moon though. To the moon. To the moon! TO THE MOON THOUGH! YEAH, WE'RE GOIN'! YOU DIDN'T TELL ME! YOU DIDN--AT LEA--Y'KNOW--WHEN YOU GO ON THE NEW VIRGIN ATLANTIC SPACE PLANE, YOU GOTTA SIGN A GODDAMN WAIVER! '''[[SuddenlyShouting YOU'RE JUST TAKIN' ME TO THE MOON]]'''!!!
--> ''(Subtitle: [[MondegreenGag YOGURT'S]] TAKIN' ME TO THE MOON!!!)''

* Jon's reaction to [[VideoGame/ConkersBadFurDay Conker]] appearing in [[VideoGame/ProjectSpark Project Spark]]. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1t_Co0gfj18 All of it.]] [[LaughingMad Laughing the entire time,]] [[BloodfromtheMouth he vomits blood,]] flushes his X-Box games down the toilet and then proceeds to stab his UsefulNotes/XBoxOne in its box with a kitchen knife [[SoundtrackDissonance to the finale of Stravinsky's Firebird]] while sobbing "I ''love'' you! I ''love'' yo~o~o~ou!..."
-->'''Jon''': I been waitin' for ya to come home, baby.
-->'''Conker''': [[HopeSpot Guess we'll have to make our own]] [game]!
-->''Microsoft Studios: [[TagLine Actually Fuck You]]''

---> '''Narrator''': After the assassination of Prince Franz Ferdinand...\\
'''Jon''': That's horrible, I don't like [[Music/FranzFerdinand that band]] that much anyway, though.

---> '''Jon''': First step: Don't g- don't go to war. [[{{Foreshadowing}} Not a good idea]].

----> '''Jon''': I don't even have to listen to you, do I? You're just gonna keep doing that, alright, I'm going the other way ''[turns around, walks away from building]'' Fuck this, I'm not doing the war, fuck you! Yeah, step four, didn't change, don't go to war! I'm serious! Get outta here, this is not- this is- ''[reaches invisible wall]'' oh ''nooo''...! ''[{{beat}}]'' Step 5: You gotta go to war.

-->'''Narrator:''' The German Empire declares war on Russia.
-->'''Jon:''' Heh. Yeah, what else is new.
-->'''Narrator:''' France is preparing for conflict.
-->'''Jon:''' [[CheeseEatingSurrenderMonkey Okay, now]] ''[[DefiedTrope that's]]'' [[DefiedTrope new.]]

--> '''Jon:''' Aw, ''crap.'' This commercial is supposed to be for that shirt over there...and that other shirt...and that exclusive shirt that girl is modeling right now...

--> '''Jon:''' Wait a second. I don't even own a coffee company. ''*Slowly pulls a gun out of the coffee can*'' [[MoodWhiplash There's just a g--there's a gun in here...]]

--> ''We're sorry, [=@JonTronShow=] dropped an [=EchBomb=] on our server. We're bolting everything down."

-->(''shows a clip of Series/BeyondScaredStraight where an inmate is yelling at a delinquent'')\\
'''Jon:''' [[OnSecondThought Okay, maybe not]] ''[[OnSecondThought that]]'' [[OnSecondThought straight!]]

* The episode opens with Jon (and Jacques) looking at the wall and wondering if there's something off about his pictures. For the record, his pictures are (going clockwise) [[Music/TheBeatles John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison]] [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers and]] Series/{{ALF}}.

* Jon reads the character descriptions, which includes "warrior", "courageous", and..."[[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers swim champion]]".

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30voQyK3Qog The Los Angeles Dinosaur.]][[note]]The Los Angeles Dinosaur is real; it's actually green, rather than brownish-orange in the game.[[/note]]

---> '''Jon:''' It's gonna be a while before fair use kicks in on this one. No money!