History Funny / Jerma985

** The Giant Rat KOs the Christmas Tree by gnawing his shins out and leaving him to fall.

** The video opens with Jerma having STAR_ jump onto his game, [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial assuring him the whole time that they're going to Upward]]. Instead STAR_ finds himself on Asteroid, [[ObviousBeta a still-in-beta map]]. Yet the next map they end up going to after their attempts to duel on Asteroid go awry? Upward.

-->'''Jerma''': Stipulation for this life is I gotta get three headshots in a row. If I don't get three headshots in a row, then my fucking computer explodes, alright guys? (''He misses the third shot'') No, no, wait, wait, double or noth- (''explosion sound effect'')

-->'''Jerma''': Did I just really do that? I didn't just really do that, did I? Am I in a dream? Pinch me! Somebody wake me up!

-->'''STAR_:''' Plymouth Rock... is in like Pennsylvania or something.
-->'''Jerma:''' No, Plymouth Rock is in Plymouth, Massachusetts you fucking idiot!
-->'''STAR_:''' [[BlatantLies I've never been to Massachusetts.]]
-->'''Caption: He lives there'''

--> '''Uncle Bucket (presumably the Soldier):''' Fatty.

--> '''Jerma''': This next part of the plan is to follow the sniper up the stairs, and stab him in his bayke. See? [[TemptingFate Watch this.]]
-->(''Gets melee'ed to death by the sniper before he can backstab him and then immediately [[EpicFail autobalanced]]'')
--> '''Jerma'''; (''after a long [[{{Beat}} Beat]]'').........shit.

--->'''Jerma''': You can't bullshit a bullshitter, buddy!

-->'''Jerma''': [[AchievementsInIgnorance We actually capped it. How the hell did that happen?]]
-->'''STAR_''': [[DeadpanSnarker I don't know. Maybe it had something to do with the tank coming in.]]\\

---> '''Zeraxos''': He was a ''shit character''!

--> '''Announcer''': Fruit; Eat it up!

---->'''Jerma''': Wait, why is ''"The Meme Funeral"'' about to play- autoplay?

-->'''Commenter:''' I get it, we can remember shit, just play the fucking game.
-->'''Jerma:''' [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} You must be new here.]]

-->'''Jerma''': Star?
-->'''STAR_, worried''': Yes?
-->'''Jerma''': I didn't want to be the first one to say this but I truly think... I truly think this weird agency is ''poisoning the water supply!''
-->'''Both, while raising their arms in-game''': [[BigNo Oh noooooooooooo]]!

-->'''Jerma''': Let's get out of here, kids! I'll buy you a new [=PS4=]! [[EvilLaugh Hahaha!!]]

** '''Giant Rat''': Hello and Welcome to the Rat Cafe. [[ImplausibleDeniability There's no rats here, just hamburgers.]]
** '''Dr. Digestion''': This reminds me of my favorite movie, ''Da Movie!'' That's your favorite movie too, right?
-->'''Giant Rat''': No, my favorite movie is ''{{WesternAnimation/Frozen|2013}}'', I like Elsa and Anna- okay, now I kill you.
-->'''Dr. Digestion''': ([[CrouchingMoronHiddenBadass effortlessly kills the Rat]]) ...wow, that's a great pick choice for favoritest movie. I wonder if I need to think that now.
-->'''Little Rat''': Now I get to be the Giant Rat, cool surprise! (kills Dr. Digestion).

-->'''Little Rats''': Rats, we're rats, we're the rats. We prey at night, we stalk at night, we're the rats.
-->'''Giant Rat''': I'm da giant rat who makes all of the rules!
-->'''Little Rats''': Let's see what kind of trouble we can get ourselves into...

--> '''Jerma''': You remember when you took that photo? Well, here it is on a mountain.

-->'''[[Film/{{Casablanca}} Rick Blaine:]]''' The owner, he wants us to finish this bottle and then three more, says he'll water his garden with champagne before he'll let the Germans drink it.
-->'''Jerma:''' ([[{{Beat}} Beat]]) ...yeah.
-->'''Rick Blaine:''' You said it.

--->'''Jerma''': You guys are still finding these images. It's actually pretty, uh, I...This one is-is pretty shocking.
---> ([[BlatantLies Jerma proceeds to bring up an edit of]] [[WeWillNotUsePhotoshopInTheFuture a witch with his face imposed onto it]])