History Funny / HarryPotterAndTheGobletOfFire

* After he gets the dragon egg in the First Task, Harry, who is carried by Fred and George on their shoulders, asks everyone in the Gryffindor common room if they want him to open it. As they all agree, he does so, and the egg lets out a deafening screech that forces everyone, including the people in the portraits, to cover their ears, and Fred and George end up letting of of Harry, who then shuts the egg again, leading Ron to say this gem:

* Ron refuses to wear his dress robes, as they have lace on the edges. His mother replies that if ''that's'' the case, he can attend the Yule Ball nude and Harry can send her a picture because she needs a laugh. After she leaves, Pigwidgeon starts choking on an owl treat that's too big for him to swallow, prompting Ron to gripe "Why is everything I own rubbish?" (Which is rather ungrateful of him, considering Harry had just bought him a priceless set of omnioculars).

* Ron refuses to wear his dress robes, as they have lace on the edges. His mother replies that if ''that's'' the case, he can attend the Yule Ball nude and Harry can send her a picture because she needs a laugh. After she leaves, Pigwidgeon starts choking on an owl treat that's too big for him to swallow, prompting Ron to gripe "Why is everything I own rubbish?"

* After Hermione finds out that ''Hogwarts: a History'' never mentions house-elves, she remarks: "''A Revised History of Hogwarts'' would be a more accurate title. Or 'A Highly Biased and Selective History of Hogwarts, Which Glosses Over the Nastier Aspects of the School''."

* After Hermione finds out that ''Hogwarts: a History'' never mentions house-elves, she remarks: "''A Revised History of Hogwarts'' would be a more accurate title. Or '[[OverlyLongTitle 'A Highly Biased and Selective History of Hogwarts, Which Glosses Over the Nastier Aspects of the School''.]]”

* While brief, the entirety of the Weasley's visit to Privet Drive is ridiculous.

* Molly Weasley's letter to the Dursleys is absolutely ''smothered'' in stamps, "except for a square inch on the front, into which Mrs. Weasley had squeezed the Dursleys' address in minute writing".
** The fact that Molly can make the writing legible while that small ''implies that she's done it before''.
** Also, while Vernon wasn't amused, the mailman apparently found Molly's over-stamped envelope to be hilarious.
** Uncle Vernon recalls Molly as a "dumpy woman with a lot of children".
--->''Harry frowned. [[HypocriticalHumor He thought it was a bit rich of Uncle Vernon to call anyone "dumpy", when his own son, Dudley, had finally achieved what he'd been threatening to do since the age of three, and become wider than he was tall.]]''
** The Weasleys' arrival at the Dursleys'. Arthur has the Dursleys' fireplace connected to the Floo Network temporarily...only to discover the Dursleys have had it blocked up. He, Ron, Fred, and George end up dog piling into each other before he resorts to just blasting their way out. He assures the Dursleys he can fix it, of course.
*** In fact, basically everything about the Weasleys' brief visit to Privet Drive, especially Arthur being cheerily oblivious to the Dursleys' hatred of anything even vaguely out of the ordinary as he tries to make polite small-talk with them and assuring them that he'll set everything back to the way it was after they blasted their way out of the fireplace. The narration notes that the Dursleys are looking at him like he's insane after explaining how he got there using lots of magic-related terms and mangling some Muggle ones as well.
** Arthur casually mentions he has a large collection of batteries, likely assuming the Dursleys will find this impressive or that this will make him come off as "normal" and knowledgeable about Muggle things. Instead, this is just one more thing that makes the Dursleys think he's insane.
** Fred and George seeing Dudley, and "breaking into identical evil grins".
** Given that his first encounter with a [[Literature/HarryPotterAndThePhilosophersStone wizard resulted in growing a pig's tail]], Dudley spends most of the Weasleys' visit awkwardly groping his butt for protection.
** Fred dropped a bag of sweets as he was preparing to return to the Burrow and managed to get all but one, which naturally Dudley picked up (to be fair, Dudley was on a diet). The sweet was actually a Ton-Tongue Toffee and HilarityEnsues. It's heavily implied that Fred dropped the bag on purpose and all but stated that he deliberately left that one sweet on the floor. Poor Dudley.
* After getting to the Weasley's, Ron tells Harry not to ask Percy anything about work. It ends up coming up anyway, and Percy goes on about cauldron thickness like it's the most important thing in the world.
* Bill and Charlie are supposed to be getting the dinner tables set up. Instead, they make the tables fly around and crash into each other. Bill even knocks the leg off Charlie's and has to magic it back on.
** Percy sticks his head out the window at one point and yells at them to keep it down.

* Upon waking up at the start of the book with a vision and his scar hurting, Harry thinks of writing a letter to Dumbledore about this, and wonders how he should phrase his message:
-->''"Dear Professor Dumbledore,\\
Sorry to bother you, but my scar hurt this morning.\\
Yours sincerely, Harry Potter."\\
Even inside his head, the words sounded stupid.''

** Karkaroff accuses Snape of being a Death Eater. As Dumbledore rises to speak, [[FunnyBackgroundEvent Crouch falls forward into a]] {{Facepalm}}.

** Crouch's facepalm while Dumbledore is explaining about Snape's allegiance to Karkaroff seems to scream "This shit ''again''!?"

** The Weasleys' arrival at the Dursleys'. Arthur has the Dursleys' fireplace connected to the Floo Network temporarily...only to discover the Dursleys have had it blocked up. He, Ron, Fred, and George end up dogpiling into each other before he resorts to just blasting their way out. He assures the Dursleys he can fix it, of course.

** Fred dropped a bag of sweets as he was preparing to return to the Burrow and managed to get all but one, which naturally Dudley picked up (to be fair, Dudley was on a diet). The sweet was actually a Ton-Tongue Toffee and HilarityEnsues. It’s heavily implied that Fred dropped the bag on purpose and all but stated that he deliberately left that one sweet on the floor. Poor Dudley.

* Cedric's introduction has him [[CasualHighDrop drop down from presumably a tree]], with Hermione and Ginny [[ChickMagnet sharing a look]]. [[HilariousInHindsight It gets twice as hilarious]] as Creator/RobertPattinson was cast as ''[[Film/TheBatman2022 Batman]]'' over a decade later.

--->"It isn't going to work!"

* ''My eyes aren't "glistening with the ghosts of my past"!''

--->'''Malfoy:''' [[CatchPhrase My father will hear of this!]]\\
'''Moody:''' ''(chasing Malfoy)'' Is that a threat? IS THAT A THREAT?! I COULD TELL YOU STORIES ABOUT YOUR FATHER THAT WOULD CURL EVEN ''YOUR'' GREASY HAIR, BOY! IT DOESN'T END HERE!

** [=McGonagall=] ripping Crouch Jr., saying "We never use transfiguration as a punishment!" [[HypocriticalHumor This is coming from a teacher who sent a group of first year students into a forest full of dangerous monsters as detention]]...

--->'''Ron:''' Well, Hermione...[[CaptainObvious you're a girl!]]\\
'''Hermione:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Oh, well spotted.]]

* The studying scene, where Harry and Ron keep on getting caught talking by Snape and get their heads smacked by a book and forced down for their troubles. The uber-annoyed look [[TheComicallySerious Snape]] gives and the precise manner in which he pulls his sleeves up before shoving their heads down was the icing on the funny cake.
** Ron bemoans he and Harry not having dates for the Yule Ball. He tries to comfort himself by saying that [[ButtMonkey Neville]] also won't have a date, until Hermione informs him that Neville ''does'' have one, making Ron feel even worse.

** Harry in the background sees Snape coming towards them and starts tugging on Ron's sleeve to get him to stop talking. Ron doesn't notice, causing Snape to smack them both on the head again.

*** In fact, basically everything about the Weasleys' brief visited to Privet Drive, especially Arthur being cheerily oblivious to the Dursleys' hatred of anything even vaguely out of the ordinary as he tries to make polite small-talk with them and assuring them that he'll set everything back to the way it was after they blasted their way out of the fireplace. The narration notes that the Dursleys are looking at him like he's insane after explaining how he got there using lots of magic-related terms and mangling some Muggle ones as well.

* Trelawney gives a long-winded speech about Harry's attributes that point to his birth date and guesses that he was born midwinter. Harry corrects her that he was born in July. Doubly funny given that as an international celebrity, Harry's birthday would be a matter of public knowledge.

* Harry spitting his drink out (mixed with squick).

** Harry does a very sudden 180 degree turn in his opinion of Cedric when he finds out that he is taking Cho to the ball due to jealousy.

** Harry does a very sudden 180 degree turn in his opinion of Cedric when he finds out that he is taking Cho to the ball.

'''Junior.:''' ''["[[ThisIsGonnaSuck Thanks a lot, asshole. That's a life sentence.]] [[DoNotGoGentle Welp, might as well get my money's worth while I'm here]]."] (Crouch Jr. turns and tries to attack Crouch Sr., only for Moody--apparently the real one, as Junior is clearly in the same room--to promptly stun him)''