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*There’s just something hilarious about seeing Jesus in his underwear, especially when none of the other character stripped down for their “baptisms”.
*For whatever reason, Jesus feels the need to avert his eyes when the silent film shows a woman in a short dress and underwear.


--> '''John/Judas:''' Hello? ''(offering to Jesus)'' It's for you! ''(Jesus shakes his head in a NoJustNoReaction)'' I didn't think so.

to:

--> '''John/Judas:''' Hello? ''(offering to Jesus)'' It's for you! ''(Jesus shakes his head in a NoJustNoReaction)'' I didn't think so.so.
*Most of the parables are done in slapstick, like how the rich man in hell gets pied as part of his punishment, or when the Pharisee is humbled by falling through the trampoline.


--> '''Jesus and apostles:''' ''Slooowly I turned...''

to:

--> '''Jesus and apostles:''' ''Slooowly I turned...'' step by step, inch by inch...''
--> ''(Jesus slaps him. John/Judas raises his hand to return the strike, to the {{Gasp}} of the cast. He thinks better of it, and awkwardly mimes picking up a phone.)''
--> '''John/Judas:''' Hello? ''(offering to Jesus)'' It's for you! ''(Jesus shakes his head in a NoJustNoReaction)'' I didn't think so.


* I've only seen the show once, so if anyone knows the lines, please feel free to add them. After Jesus said the "give them your coat too" line, somebody responds with a monologue about "What kind of coat is it?" then lists a bunch of things like "Does it zip?...Does it have a pocket in the front?" then, "Is it a hoodie? Because you should only wear a hoodie when it's [lists a bunch of unlikely circumstances like on the third day of the third month every nine years... when it's somebody's birthday in Alaska.])" When another cast member comments that her process is complicated, she responds by saying something about Simplicity.

to:

* I've only seen the show once, so if anyone knows the lines, please feel free School productions are often encouraged to add them. After additional skits and sketches. For instance, one has when Jesus said the "give them your coat too" line, somebody responds with a monologue about "What kind of coat is it?" then lists a bunch of things like "Does it zip?...Does it have a pocket in the front?" then, "Is it a hoodie? Because you should only wear a hoodie when it's [lists a bunch of unlikely circumstances like on the third day of the third month every nine years... when it's somebody's birthday in Alaska.])" When another cast member comments that her process is complicated, she responds by saying something about Simplicity.


* When the Disciples start fighting each other, it devolves quickly into a slapstick farce. Jesus finally ends it with an eye-rolling DeathGlare and an annoyed, "'''''HELLLLOOOOOOOO????'''''"

to:

* When the Disciples start fighting each other, it devolves quickly into a slapstick farce. Jesus finally ends it with an eye-rolling DeathGlare and an annoyed, "'''''HELLLLOOOOOOOO????'''''""'''''HELLLLOOOOOOOO????'''''"
*Upon hearing the teaching to turn the other cheek:
--> '''John/Judas:''' Aw, Jesus Chr—" (another apostle shuts him up)
--> '''Jesus and apostles:''' ''Slooowly I turned...''


* When one of the disciples keeps dancing after "All For The Best" ends and doesn't stop until Jesus points out that the song is over.

to:

* When one of the disciples keeps dancing after "All For The Best" ends and doesn't stop until Jesus points out that the song is over.over.
* When the Disciples start fighting each other, it devolves quickly into a slapstick farce. Jesus finally ends it with an eye-rolling DeathGlare and an annoyed, "'''''HELLLLOOOOOOOO????'''''"


* I've only seen the show once, so if anyone knows the lines, please feel free to add them. After Jesus said the "give them your coat too" line, somebody responds with a monologue about "What kind of coat is it?" then lists a bunch of things like "Does it zip?...Does it have a pocket in the front?" then, "Is it a hoodie? Because you should only wear a hoodie when it's [lists a bunch of unlikely circumstances like on the third day of the third month every nine years... when it's somebody's birthday in Alaska.])" When another cast member comments that her process is complicated, she responds by saying something about Simplicity.

to:

* I've only seen the show once, so if anyone knows the lines, please feel free to add them. After Jesus said the "give them your coat too" line, somebody responds with a monologue about "What kind of coat is it?" then lists a bunch of things like "Does it zip?...Does it have a pocket in the front?" then, "Is it a hoodie? Because you should only wear a hoodie when it's [lists a bunch of unlikely circumstances like on the third day of the third month every nine years... when it's somebody's birthday in Alaska.])" When another cast member comments that her process is complicated, she responds by saying something about Simplicity.Simplicity.
* When one of the disciples keeps dancing after "All For The Best" ends and doesn't stop until Jesus points out that the song is over.

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** Another popular option is for whoever is playing Jeffrey to say "no, it says ''Reebok''".


-->'''Jeffrey:''' ''(looking for himself, disappointed)'' It says "Keds."

to:

-->'''Jeffrey:''' ''(looking for himself, disappointed)'' It says "Keds.""
* I've only seen the show once, so if anyone knows the lines, please feel free to add them. After Jesus said the "give them your coat too" line, somebody responds with a monologue about "What kind of coat is it?" then lists a bunch of things like "Does it zip?...Does it have a pocket in the front?" then, "Is it a hoodie? Because you should only wear a hoodie when it's [lists a bunch of unlikely circumstances like on the third day of the third month every nine years... when it's somebody's birthday in Alaska.])" When another cast member comments that her process is complicated, she responds by saying something about Simplicity.





-->'''Jesus: Did I ever tell you I used to read feet?
-->'''Jeffrey: You used to... what?
-->'''Jesus: Some people read palms or tea leaves. I read feet. Look what it says! ''(lifts Jeffrey's foot)'' Ah hah! It says "Rejoice."
Jeffrey: ''(looking for himself, disappointed)'' It says "Keds."

to:

-->'''Jesus: -->'''Jesus:''' Did I ever tell you I used to read feet?
-->'''Jeffrey: -->'''Jeffrey:''' You used to... what?
-->'''Jesus: -->'''Jesus:''' Some people read palms or tea leaves. I read feet. Look what it says! ''(lifts Jeffrey's foot)'' Ah hah! It says "Rejoice."
Jeffrey: -->'''Jeffrey:''' ''(looking for himself, disappointed)'' It says "Keds."


From both versions:

to:

From both versions:



-->'''Judas:''' Sorry.

to:

-->'''Judas:''' Sorry.Sorry.
* This exchange:
-->'''Judas:''' Now what the Good Master is telling us all right now is that up in Heaven, there are about a hundred million little tiny angels about 'yea' by 'yea', and they all take shorthand. And every time you do something silly, they write it in a...
-->'''Jesus:''' No, no.
-->'''Judas:''' That's ''not'' what the Good Master is telling us.
* This line has become sort of a MemeticMutation:
-->'''Jesus: Did I ever tell you I used to read feet?
-->'''Jeffrey: You used to... what?
-->'''Jesus: Some people read palms or tea leaves. I read feet. Look what it says! ''(lifts Jeffrey's foot)'' Ah hah! It says "Rejoice."
Jeffrey: ''(looking for himself, disappointed)'' It says "Keds."


-->'''Judas:''' ''(on Lazarus)'' Even the doggy-doggies used to come to Lazarus and lick his open, running sores.

to:

-->'''Judas:''' ''(on Lazarus)'' Even the doggy-doggies used to come to Lazarus and lick his open, running sores.

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