History Funny / GenerationKill

* Creator/MichaelMosley's as Gunnery Sgt. Robert Swarr and his OneSceneWonder description of Delta Company.

* Captain America is digging a hole to bury his captured [=AKs=] in after having a "[[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech Come to Jesus]]" talk from Sgt Kocher. Carisalez and Redman, unaware of the context of the Captain's actions, assume he's just digging a foxhole so he can [[ADateWithRosiePalms rub one out in privacy]], a course of action they find pretty reasonable.

-->'''Swarr''': Godfather knows. He's been duckin' us on the comms for the past couple weeks. But they're here now, Brad. And they're rollin' with you. [''Gives a giant shit-eating grin.'']

** The a running gag of Fick telling his men "I'm assured of this,"]] trying desperately to convince them and himself that what the brass has told him is actually true. It never is.

-->"'''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oodTuhaLYpU FOLLOW MY TRACERS!]] '''''Engage those buildings! Move into position! Engage, ENGAGE!''"

** In fact, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8y3kmdt2Z0 there's a running gag of Fick telling his men "I'm assured of this,"]] trying desperately to convince them and himself that what the brass has told him is actually true. It never is.

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_BmRMMej3U Captain America raging]] among the dead Iraqis after the bridge ambush. Even more hilarious given that the night before, he absolutely ''panicked''.

* Ray calls Brad a disowned individual because Brad was given in adoption. Colbert slaps him back sharply by pointing out he was raised by an upper-middle class and cultured Jewish family, as opposed to Ray's white-trashy background. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSLAIKjT7y8 Ray's retort]] is priceless.

* Ray's summation of the causes of global instability: "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eeUYE1XNO5E It's lack of pussy what fucks countries up...]]"

* A valuable supply truck is abandoned and unsurprisingly looted. To great dishonor and chagrin, it transported the battalion colors, carried into battle since Vietnam. Cpl. Person jumps at the chance to [[DeadpanSnarker sarcastically analyze the move]] and [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RLlwuSJGUQ delivers]] one of his IdiotHero remarks about the higher-ups.

* Creator/MichaelMosley's as Gunnery Sgt. Robert Swarr and his OneSceneWonder description of [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4QTYFklrnA Delta Company]]

** Also, the gibberish taking the place of Arabic in that made-up conversation [[StarWars is an approximation of how Jawas speak.]]

--> '''Fick''': Ray, the Battalion Commander offered no stirep as to J. Lo's status.

* Early in the series, Colbert swaps Garza for Walt on his humvee's turret with "Garza, I'm trading you for a white guy."

--> '''Person:''' See, Trombley asked about shooting people. I asked about pussy. Guy told me I'd get to go to Thailand and get all kinds of strange. What'd you ask about, Brad? Brad probably saw that T.V. commercial, the one where the knight fucks up the dragon then turns into the marine.

--> '''Person:''' Fucking dress blues commercial, man, that got so many fucking guys. Now look at us! Trombley hasn't killed anybody, I am half a world away from good Thai pussy, and Colbert is out here rolling around fuckbutt Iraq, hunting for dragons in a MOPP suit that smells of four days of piss and ballsweat. (''Reporter whispers "wow"'') You should have rolled into battle with a sword, Brad. That would have fucking rocked.

* [[https://youtu.be/FU9COryOrOw Rolling Stone struggles with his chem warfare protective gear]], stumbling along trying to follow the Marines to cover while trying to put on his gloves, finally collapsing into a heap on the ground. Several [[GasMaskMooks Marines in gas masks]] crowd around him and lean in trying to figure out what the problem is, only to see that the crotch strap on his suit is [[GroinAttack painfully crushing Rolling Stone's nuts.]] Finally, Garza takes out a pair of pliers and rips the strap off, to Wright's obvious relief.

* [[https://youtu.be/FU9COryOrOw Rolling Stone struggles with his chem warfare protective gear]], stumbling along trying to follow the Marines to cover while trying to put on his gloves, finally collapsing into a heap on the ground. Several [[GasMaskMooks Marines in gas masks]] crowd around him and lean in trying to figure out what the problem is, only to see that the crotch strap on his suit is [[GroinAttack painfully crushing Rolling Stone's nuts.]] Finally, Garza takes out a pair of pliers and rips a strap off the crotch of the suit.

* [[https://youtu.be/FU9COryOrOw Rolling Stone struggles with his chem warfare protective gear]], stumbling along trying to follow the Marines to cover while trying to put on his gloves, finally collapsing into a heap on the ground. Several [[GasMaskMooks Marines in gas masks]] crowd around him and lean in trying to figure out what the problem is, only to see that the crotch strap on his suit is [[GroinAttack painfully crushing Rolling Stone's nuts.]]

-->'''Captain America''': We're going to DIE if they don't get us out of here! They ''SENT US TO DIE!''

* Alpha Company is detached to enter a town garrisoned by an Iraqi Republican Guard unit and rescue a captured Marine. During the planning, the commander briefing Captain Patterson points out the various planned routes into the town, code-named Cheetahs, Rhino, Crazy Horse, and Seventh Veil. After a {{Beat}}, the commander explains that during their planning session, his NCOs named all of the routes after their favorite strip clubs.

** Lt. Fick's reaction to Ray's seemingly out-of-nowhere question about J-Lo is 100% officer, and delivered completely [[DeadpanSnarker deadpan]].
--. '''Fick''': Ray, the Battalion Commander offered no stirep as to J-Lo's status.

-->'''CIA Agent''': General Alhamadi's operatives were compromised shortly after entering the town last night. They were executed by Ba'ath party loyalists. Clearly, [[UnderStatement this impacted negatively on the morale of his forces.]]

** To elaborate: The company settles down for the night in the field. Some Marines posted on watch observe an apparently moving column of lights off in the distance. Given that they have intel saying an Iraqi tank formation is not far away, this is an obviously worrying development, so an air strike gets called in. Unfortunately, the officer calling it in sent the wrong authorization codes and coordinates, so the attack aircraft get sent to another location and find nothing there. The flight leader macgyvers out what he thinks is the real coordinates while in the air, leads his planes there, and bombard that patch of ground--again, an empty field. Come morning, this string of errors becomes more and more obvious to everyone; Colbert had correctly judged in the night that the men on watch were merely hallucinating that the lights (from a distant village) were moving after staring intently at them for too long. A group of Alpha marines make fun of these events in conversation, culminating with the above quote.