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!!The Book
* Allison tries to get her brothers to call her Albert when they meet one of Dad's friends while camping. They don't listen.
* When her dad forces her to get dressed for a wedding, she asks if she can wear sneakers with her sailor's suit.
* While in college, Allison took a course on ''Literature/{{Ulysses}}''. She ended up blowing off most of the reading, and in her words, ''bullshat'' through her exam.
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!!The musical

* Right before her first sexual encounter, Joan Performs a ShutUpKiss to Middle Allison and her reaction is priceless.
* When Bruce finds a dead mouse in a box of old antiques, Small Allison gladly takes it in.
-->'''Bruce:''' ''[disgusted]'' Ugh, dead mouse.\\
'''Small Allison:''' ''[excited]'' Oh, Oh! Can I have it?\\
'''Bruce:''' ...It's all yours.
* Regular Allison has this golden line.
-->'''Allison:''' Caption: My dad and I are exactly alike!\\
''[beat]''\\
'''Allison:''' Caption, my dad and I are ''nothing'' alike.
* Middle Allison's awkward yet Adorkable sing-song rambles are bound to get a chuckle out of some.
-->'''Middle Allison:''' Joan I feel like ''Hercules!'' -- Oh GOD that sounds ridiculous!
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