Funny / Theater
"Ooh, thank you doctor. Valium is my favorite color. How'd you know?"

The hills are alive... With the sound of laaauuughterr...

  • The final clown sequence of the Cirque du Soleil show Mystere has its arguable Crowning Moment near the end: Brian Le Petit is at the mercy of the furious emcee. What does he do? Pulls out a red nose, puts it on, and starts dancing to a Suspiciously Similar Song to "Stayin' Alive". That song, and all other comedic uses of it, may never be the same.
    • All the airplane segments in Alegría might count, too.
  • The Bottom Live shows are already pretty funny, but when they screw up and have to improvise, it just gets funnier. This is an especially good example.
  • From Company: in "Poor Baby", Bobby is shown having sex with April while all of his married female friends comment that he ought to have a woman, but not someone like the one he's with right now. They list the things they each find wrong with her, such as that she's "dumb", "tacky", "vulgar", etc. Joanne's complaint? She's "tall enough to be your mother".
  • From Spamalot:
    Patsy: Well, sir...I'm a Jew.
    Arthur: ...Well, why on earth didn't you say so, Patsy?
    Patsy: I'm sorry, sir,'s just not the sort of thing you tell a heavily-armed Christian.
    • Most of the songs, but in particular "I'm All Alone". Arthur singing about how alone he is? Sad. Patsy standing right there? Really sad. A bunch of other knights joining in Arthur's lament of how alone he is? Priceless.
    • The Reveal of the Lady of the Lake's true identity.
      Arthur: Lady...I would have your true name.
      Lady: It's...Guinevere.
      Lancelot: ...Holy shit.
    • His name is Lance-a-lot, and in tight pants-a-lot!
    • Arthur: I thought you were a fairy.
      Lady of the Lake: No, that's Lancelot.
    • "The Song That Goes Like This." Each time the Lady of the Lake and Galahad try to bring the song to a close, the key just modulates again. By the final chorus, they're screaming "Oh, GODDAMMIT!" at the orchestra.
    • The battle between King Arthur and the Black Knight is 100% pure hilarity.
      • "It's only a flesh wound!"
      • "You stupid bastard, you've got no arms!"
      • In the touring production, at least, they distract the audience from setting up the "legless" special effect by having a man come on asking for "arms for the poor".
    • In "You Won't Succeed on Broadway", Sir Robin, his Minstrels and the Knight Chorus re-enact the Bottle Dance scene from Fiddler on the Roof... with grails on their heads. Robin's first mention of "if we don't have any Jews" is usually met with a full minute of laughter as well.
  • The Producers: "Now Ulla belt." Words cannot describe how funny it is when the breathy sex kitten character suddenly starts making like Ethel Merman.
    • The entire exchange starting with the introduction of Leo's blue blanket. "I'm WET! I'm WET! I'm hysterical and I'm WET!!"
      • "I'm IN PAIN! I'm in pain and I'm wet and I'm STILL HYSTERICAL!"
    • Adolf Elizabeth Hitler?
    • It's Mel Brooks, what do you expect? From "Betrayed":
    Step two, hire the director. Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it two three kick turn turn turn kick turn. Ulla. Ooh-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah. Step three, raise the money. Along came Bialy. Intermission! *Sits down and has a bag of lollies, on stage*
    • A common joke at "Intermission!" is for the actor playing Max to pull out the program and note, "Oh, he's good. He's no Nathan, but he's good."
      • When I saw it, it was in a college town and the theater was rather empty due to a pivotal football game on the same day. During the "intermission," Max turned to the audience and said, "In case any of you were wondering, the score is 19 to 22."
    • "Leo, why you go so far downstage right?"
    • "Gimme those books!" "Fat fat fatty!" "Gimme those books!" "Fat fat fatty!" "Books!" "Fat!" "Books!" "Fat! "Books!" "Fat!"
  • I, Keano an Irish musical which parodied the controversial leaving of the Irish World Cup team in 2002 by Roy Keane had two moments.
    • Keano is going around the stage complaining about all the inadequacies of the Irish training regimen. He looks around at the props and laments "The fecking trees aren't even real!".
    • Keano: "Typical! If you fail to plan, then you're planning to fail."
      Packie Bonnerus: "But if you plan to fail, and you do fail, then surely you have succeeded?"
  • Arsenic and Old Lace, the best Crowning Moment of Funny is Mortimer's description of a character's Too Dumb to Live behaviour in a horrendous play he's just seen while his Axe-Crazy psycho-killer brother mimics what happened in the play behind his back, so Mortimer ends up in the same position as the character in the play.
    • Mortimer's line.
    Mortimer: Don't you see? I'm a BASTARD!
  • When Tony first brings his parents to Alice's house in You Can't Take It With You.
    • Especially when they play the word association game.
  • It's not a comedy by any means, but Constantine bringing in the dead seagull (the first time) in The Seagull.
    • Well, it's a comedy according to the playwright.
  • 1776 has the entirety of "But Mr. Adams," the song where the Founding Fathers shove the writing of their lame excuse to delay Congress from taking a vote (today more commonly known as The Declaration of Independence) on Thomas Jefferson, but the ending is absolutely hilarious. Also, any production that does not include ludicrous dancing is not doing it right.
    Jefferson: "Mr. Adams! Damn you, Mr. Adams! / You are obnoxious and disliked, that cannot be denied! / Once again, you stand between me and my lovely bride..."
    Franklin, Livingston, and Sherman: "Love-lee briiiiiide..."
    Jefferson: "Ohhh, Mr. Adams! / You are driving me to homicide!"
    Adams: "QUIET! Jefferson! Mr. Jefferson!"
    F, L, & S: "We may see murderrr! Yeeee-eeeeeet...!"
    • Also, Richard Henry Lee leaving and coming back to sing his theme song, and Adams and Franklin's reaction to him.
    John Adams: That was the most revolting display I have ever witnessed.
    Benjamin Franklin: They're warm-blooded people, Virginians.
    John Adams: Not him, Franklin, you!
    • The fight (well, one of them) in Congress:
      John Dickinson: Are you calling me a coward?
      John Adams: Yes... coward!
      John Dickinson: Madman!
      John Adams: Landlord!
      John Dickinson: LAWYER!
  • It's the entire point of the show, but The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged).
    Soothsayer: Beware the Ides of
    Caesar: What, is that like, a band, or something?
    Soothsayer: That's the 15th of March!
    Caesar: Why that's today! *Hrk*
    • Hamlet, backwards. "OOB"
      • Also, the Brick Joke when Ophelia drowns. The actor takes a cup of water, splashes it in his face, and walks off. When they do it backwards, he comes onstage and spits a mouthful of water into an empty cup.
    • An index card mix-up gives us this gem: "Shakespeare invaded Poland September 1st, 1939, thus precipitating World War II. I didn't know that...
    • "Cut the crap, Hamlet! My biological clock is ticking and I want babies now!"
  • There are several gems from A Musical Comedy of Murders of 1940.
    Niki:You killed your sister!?
    Helga/Helsa/Dieter: We were never close.
    • And
    Roger: And I'll do all the chorus boys.
    Marjorie: I bet you will.
    • And
    Marjorie: I think I will have that drink, Helsa, it'll make it easier to forgive licentious behavior.
    Roger: I was not being licentious, Marjorie, a bit lascivious, a trifle libidinous, perhaps but not licentious.
    Marjorie: What's the difference?
    Ken: The placement of the tongue, I'd imagine.
    • And, of course, the great moment after all of the lights in the theater go out
    Police Officer: Nobody move, it might be a power failure.
    (pause followed by a shriek)
    Bernice: What was that?!
    Roger: An owl.
    • Ah, but what about the funniest scene? In Act II, one of the characters, O'Reilly, is searching for the maid through the mansion, who then sneaks up on him and tries to kill him. Both attack each other, one thing leads to another, until... well... this happens.
  • Young Frankenstein: "Flying down to Rio!?"
    • Also, "What else can go wrong!?" -BANG- "It's MEEEEEEEEEE!"
  • The whole song "An Original Musical" from [title of show].
  • "Invocation and Instructions to the Audience" from Sondheim's adaptation of The Frogs. Just to give you an idea, the third line is:
    "You who look down on actors... And who doesn't?
    • And it gets better, with one of the actor's cellphones going off, and later with such lines as:
      "Do not intrude, please, if someone's nude, please, she's there for mood, please, and mustn't be embraced!"
  • In South Pacific, one of the most amazing scenes that had me laughing was when Nellie sang "Honey Bun" which then had Billis come out in a grass skirt, coconut bra, and underwear. Then it gets funnier. In a touching scene, Billis pulls a letter from Emile from the coconut bra.
  • In A Shoggoth on the Roof, the song To Life (wherein Herbert West tries to convince his prospective father-in-law that reviving dead people is "supremely great work"). Especially the dancing zombie chorus.
  • Anything done by the Two Men in Kiss Me, Kate, but especially "Brush Up Your Shakespeare", the last song before the finale.
    • The spanking scene is funny enough, but Lilly/Katherine being unable to ride on a donkey in the next scene because of it takes the cake.
  • The musical version of The Secret Garden after Mary meets her Uncle Archibald, her new guardian:
    Mary: Does my mother have any other family?
  • 110 in the Shade: Lizzie's father an brothers have been trying to convince her love interest to come to a picnic, but it's proving difficult because he doesn't play cards, doesn't dance, and:
    File: When I eat/it makes me sleep/and then I start to snore/So I-
    The Currys: ... don't go to many picnics.
    • Audra McDonald (a well-respected African-American stage actress and singer) who played the originally-white Lizzie in the 2007 revival, added another funny moment to the song "Raunchy":
      I'll paint my lips a rosy red,
      I'll pour peroxide on my hea— No, I'm not doin' that, no, no.
  • "Bride's Lament" in The Drowsy Chaperone is Stylistic Suck done hilariously right. Or wrong. Or both.
    • "He was the Allbright Toothpaste man, which was really popular because the main ingredient was cocaine. It was the 5th one down on the list. Right after sugar."
    • "Man of a thousand accents. All of them offensive."
    • "That was pure vodka, you POOP!"
    • "As we stumble! Bumble! Fumble!... ... ... ...PLUMBLE!
    • "Try not to think of the poodles."
    • "I Am Adolfo!"
      • "I can sing it very fast, 'Adolfo!' I can sing it very I would do it now, but it would take hours."
    • " L-*cane drops* while you can."
  • Urinetown has some brilliantly funny scenes, but some productions play it more seriously than others.
    • The song 'Follow Your Heart,' which is an absolutely spot-on parody of love songs.
    • This exchange:
      Little Sally: What's it like, Officer Lockstock?
      Lockstock: What's what like?
      Little Sally: Urinetown!
      Lockstock: Oh, I can't tell you that, Little Sally.
      Little Sally: Why not?
      Lockstock: Because it's a secret, that's why!Look, its power depends on mystery. I can't just blurt it out like 'There is no Urinetown! We just kill people!' Oh no. The information must ooze out until it breaks forth in one mighty cathartic moment!! ...Somewhere in Act II, with lots of singing and things like that.
    • There was a regional production that had a clear parody of Wicked's "Defying Gravity" at the end of "Look at the Sky": Bobby Strong, standing on a higher level than the rest of the cast, brandished a toilet plunger (like Elphaba with her broom) under a bright green spotlight, belting the final note at the top of his lungs.
  • Yvan's famous monologue in Art, an epic three and a half minute rant about how the minutest of details (the design of a wedding invitation) has blown up into an monumental family feud. Being able to memorise the whole thing doubles as a Crowning Moment of Awesome for any actor.
  • Every Gilbert and Sullivan show has at least one of these. Take a certain Trope Namer from The Pirates of Penzance, for example - "NO SOUND AT ALL! WE NEVER SPEAK A WORD!"
    • The "little list" in The Mikado.
    • In Ruddigore, Rose checking her "book of etiquette" to find out how she should respond to a marriage proposal (from a complete stranger).
    Now, how should a maiden deal with such an one? (refers to book) "Keep no one in unnecessary suspense." Behold, I will not keep you in unnecessary suspense. (refers to book) "In accepting an offer of marriage, do so with apparent hesitation." I take you, but with a certain show of reluctance. (refers to book) "Avoid any appearance of eagerness." Though you will bear in mind that I am far from anxious to do so. (refers to book) "A little show of emotion will not be misplaced!" Pardon this tear! (wipes her eye)
  • Seeing the Birds and the Bees talk done entirely through mime in Once Upon a Mattress.
  • In Bye Bye Birdie, when the kids ambush Conrad and Kim at the Ice House, Ursula jumps on Conrad's back and yells "LET'S HAVE AN ORGY!" with a hard G. note 
    • "You're just like your'd marry anything!"
  • The reprise of You're Lovely from A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. Two unattractive old men, one in drag, reenacting the earlier Falling in Love Montage down to the tee.
    • Made even funnier in one performance where the actor playing Pseudolus takes the opportunity to bang his head on a nearby pillar.
    • This priceless exchange:
    Hysterium: I'm ruined! My father will turn in his grave!
    Pseudolus: But your father's not dead.
    Hysterium: This will kill him.
    • "One, two, three, LOOK OVER THERE! seven, eight, nine." "What happened to four, five, and six?" "I was getting there! Four, five, six."
    • "Son, if what you feel for this woman even approaches what I feel for your mother, my heart bleeds for you."
    • The one moment in the ridiculous Snowball Lie Gambit Pileup when even Pseudolus is overwhelmed, shouting at Hysterium to "Stay calm!"
  • Even though the play is a tragedy, the entire monologue from The Glass Menagerie that begins "I go to opium dens!"
  • In The Norman Conquests, which sets up Chekhov's Jokes that don't go off until other plays, one of the best lines is "Norman Dewers: Gigolo! ...and assistant librarian. That's what's inside me. What's inside you, Reg? Besides six bowls of corn flakes?"
    • A great example of the Chekhov's Joke starts in the first play, Table Manners, when Reg being egged by Sarah into spying on Norman and Annie (in the living room, where the second play, Living Together is going on). He can't come up with a good excuse to walk in there, and Sarah suggests he pretend to be retrieving something. He goes off to do it and comes back with a wastepaper basket. Funny. A play later, when Reg walks into the living room, picks up the wastepaper basket, and walks out, nothing said? Hilarious.
  • The dialogue between the Wicked Witch of the West and the Winkie Leader in The Wizard of Oz. It's arguably funnier than anything in the movie. To clarify, The Wicked Witch asks the Winkies why they always make a low brooding chant whenever they go anywhere.
    Winkie Leader: It's based off an old Winkie chant.
    Wicked Witch: What was it?
    Winkie Leader: It went something like — (repeats chant of Winkies, heads off-stage)
    Wicked Witch: (to the audience) Next time I enslave a race, I'll remember to check their intelligence capacity first.
  • The "bedroom scenes" from the Rocky Horror Show. Just Brad's/Janet's reaction to finding they're really having sex with Frank N Furter is pure hilarity.
  • Tim Curry reprising his role as Dr. Frank N Furter for a brief theater skit is both hilarious and pure awesomeness.
    Dr. Frank N Furter: (As two men in speedos and a woman in a bikini walk into stage) Two men and a Scientologist, it's perfect. Wait for me in the humvee, would you?
  • Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead has a ton, most of them playing on the metafiction, such as Ros yelling "FIRE" and wondering why no one's leaving their seats. But the best ones are Guildenstern waxing philosophical, only for Rosencrantz to take his musings completely literally:
  • Tom Stoppard's plays are very witty and often bawdy as well. "The Fifteen-Minute Hamlet" from Dogg's Hamlet, Cahoot's Macbeth, however, has got to take the cake on hilarity.
  • 13: The Musical has several of these. What? Teenagers have a sense of humor, too.
    • Brett walks into the girls bathroom, sees the tampon machine and says "Whoa, you have a candy machine in here".
    • This is a line during the Cut Song "Opportunity":
      Lucy: I could be Brett's brand-new girlfriend.
      Kendra: Lucy! Look at Brett.
      Lucy: I could show him a lot of new tricks.
      Kendra: He looks like a rainbow full of sad.
    • Also, this exchange between Archie and Patrice"
      Archie: ... and if you cared at all, you'd be going to save him.
      Patrice: I don't care. I'm not going.
      Archie: Okay.
      Patrice: I'm not.
      Archie: I know.
      Patrice: You know I'm going, don't you?
      Archie: Yup.
      Patrice: I hate you. (She runs off to save Evan)
      • In some shows, Archie would respond "I hate you too."
  • In Legally Blonde The Musical, one of the funniest moments has to be the party scene with Elle in the Playboy Bunny outfit. Now, anyone who's seen the movie will be thinking, Okay, yeah, that was cute, but why is this a crowing moment of funny? Because of a slight change that the script writers included that was absolutely brilliant. After Vivienne tells her to go home and change out of her "skank costume," Elle immediately says that she is not, in fact, dressed as a Playboy Bunny, but instead as Gloria Steinem during her time working as a Bunny to do research for her feminist article "I Was a Playboy Bunny." She then loudly asks if Vivienne's calling Gloria Steinem a skank - cue slightly tipsy Straw Feminist Enid coming in and yelling "Who's calling Gloria Steinem a skank?" before chasing Vivienne off-stage looking ready to tear her hair out and telling Vivienne's boyfriend to get out of the way. Silly? Yes. Hilarious? Also, yes.
    • Also, "There, Right There!". "Is he gay or European?"
  • Promises Promises, especially in the revival. Every time Chuck imagines what Fran is saying to him, then compared to what she's really saying.
    • Also, who could forget: "It's owl".
  • George's Monologue in the middle of Durang's The Actor's Nightmare. Sheer brilliance.
    George: To be or not to be, that is the question...oh maid! Line. Line! Ohhh. Oh, what a rogue and peasant slave am I. Whether tis nobler in the mind to kill oneself, or not killing oneself, to sleep a great deal.
  • At the beginning of Cyrano de Bergerac, a man tries to insult Cyrano, telling him "Sir, your nose is... hmm... it is... very big!", (something that he's very sensitive to). Cyrano calmly responds that it is, but this insult was lousy, and proceeds to tell a Long List of better insults in many different styles. Then fights a duel with him, while improvising a sonnet.
  • Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson has many, but special mention must go to the 'feelings' scene.
  • The scene in Woody Allen's Don't Drink the Water when Mr. Kilroy gets nailed in the head with a brick and thinks he's the Wright brothers, all punctuated by the final line "Orville, you always were mother's favorite."
  • For those who had the opportunity to watch it, the Brazilian play Hermanoteu Na Terra de Godá (Hermanoteu In The Land of Godá), by comedic group Os Melhores do Mundo (The World's Best), is chockfull of absolutely hilarious moments (They don't call themselves the world's best for nothing). To exemplify some of the jokes that translate well to English...
    • When the eponymous prophet wannabe arrives in rome, a series of events have him having to fight in the gladiatorial games to get an auction with Julius Caesar. The captain of guard then explains...
    Captain: You will have to win a duel to the death to get what you wish.
    Hermanoteu: And... Who do I have to fight?
    Captain: You must face... (deep breath) Glandius, the Gladiator of the Grand Gland!
    (Both actors try their best to hold back laughter)
    Hermanoteu: C-Come again?
    Captain: Don't make me say it again.
    • Arriving in Egypt, Hermanoteu meets a long not seen friend, Isaac, who is now working as a soldier for Queen Cleopatra after failing to follow Moses through the parted Red Sea. While Isaac is technically the "Last Jewish in Egypt" that Hermanoteu was sent to free, he likes being a soldier and doesn't want the Queen to find out he was one of the escaped slaves, but Hermanoteu insists in trying to tell her.
    Isaac: (After taking Hermanoteu to the other side of the stage so Cleopatra won't hear them) Listen here, Hermanoteu... Do you intend to take me to dinner?
    Hermanoteu: Uh... No.
    Isaac: Buy me some flowers, maybe a box of chocolates?
    Hermanoteu: That wasn't in my plans, no.
    Isaac: No romantic stroll on the beach or going to catch a movie?
    Hermanoteu: Nope. Why-
    • Hermanoteu comes across a duo of Visigoth barbarians, who pride themselves on their "Rape and Kill" lifestile.
    Hermanoteu: So that's all you guys do?
    Fat Visigoth: Of course! At every village we come across!
    Thin Visigoth: Just at the last village, we killed all women and raped all goats!
    Both Visigoths: (Beat, both look at each other like they forgot something important)
    Hermanoteu: Er... Then I don't suppose you'll just let me go?
    Thin Visigoth: We either kill or rape!
    Fat Visigoth: (Grins menacingly at Hermanoteu) Turn around for a sec...
    Hermanoteu: Sorry, friend, don't take this the hard way, but... We're not even half an hour into the play and you're already the third guy trying to screw me.
  • 42nd Street has some pretty hilarious moments in the musical.
    • Julian having to snap Maggie out from her own little fantasy about the perfect song for leading diva Dorothy Brock to sing.
    Julian: Maggie... Maggie... THANK YOU MAGGIE! *Maggie stops singing and moves away for Dorothy to sing*
    • Pat Denning constantly getting mistaken for some form of stage hand, and depending on the actor, his reactions can be priceless.
    • Dorothy Brock cannot dance to save her life, and productions love to take advantage of that. It ends up having her look like a leaping deer rather than a seasoned broadway veteran.
    • A Running Gag, Peggy Sawyer has virtually no spacial awareness and bumps into everyone.
  • Fun Home is a 'very sad musical, but that doesn't stop it from having some funny moments.
    • Right before her first sexual encounter, Joan Performs a "Shut Up" Kiss to Middle Allison and her reaction is priceless.
    • When Bruce finds a dead mouse in a box of old antiques, Small Allison gladly takes it in.
    Bruce: (Disgusted) Ugh, dead mouse.
    Small Allison: (Excited) Oh, Oh! Can I have it?
    Bruce: ...It's all yours (hands her the mouse).
    • Regular Allison has this golden line.
    Allison: Caption: My dad and I are exactly alike!
    Allison: Caption, my dad and I are nothing alike.
    • Middle Allison's awkward yet Adorkable sing-song rambles are bound to get a chuckle out of some.
    Middle Allison: Joan I feel like Hercules!- Oh GOD that sounds ridiculous!