Funny / Theater

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"Ooh, thank you doctor. Valium is my favorite color. How'd you know?"

The hills are alive... With the sound of laaauuughterr...

Theatre
  • The final clown sequence of the Cirque du Soleil show Mystere has its arguable Crowning Moment near the end: Brian Le Petit is at the mercy of the furious emcee. What does he do? Pulls out a red nose, puts it on, and starts dancing to a Suspiciously Similar Song to "Stayin' Alive". That song, and all other comedic uses of it, may never be the same.
    • All the airplane segments in Alegría might count, too.
  • The Bottom Live shows are already pretty funny, but when they screw up and have to improvise, it just gets funnier. This is an especially good example.
  • From Company: in "Poor Baby", Bobby is shown having sex with April while all of his married female friends comment that he ought to have a woman, but not someone like the one he's with right now. They list the things they each find wrong with her, such as that she's "dumb", "tacky", "vulgar", etc. Joanne's complaint? She's "tall enough to be your mother".
  • I, Keano an Irish musical which parodied the controversial leaving of the Irish World Cup team in 2002 by Roy Keane had two moments.
    • Keano is going around the stage complaining about all the inadequacies of the Irish training regimen. He looks around at the props and laments "The fecking trees aren't even real!".
    • Keano: "Typical! If you fail to plan, then you're planning to fail."
      Packie Bonnerus: "But if you plan to fail, and you do fail, then surely you have succeeded?"
  • Arsenic and Old Lace, the best Crowning Moment of Funny is Mortimer's description of a character's Too Dumb to Live behaviour in a horrendous play he's just seen while his Axe-Crazy psycho-killer brother mimics what happened in the play behind his back, so Mortimer ends up in the same position as the character in the play.
    • Mortimer's line.
    Mortimer: Don't you see? I'm a BASTARD!
  • When Tony first brings his parents to Alice's house in You Can't Take It With You.
    • Especially when they play the word association game.
  • It's not a comedy by any means, but Constantine bringing in the dead seagull (the first time) in The Seagull.
    • Well, it's a comedy according to the playwright.
  • There are several gems from A Musical Comedy of Murders of 1940.
    Niki:You killed your sister!?
    Helga/Helsa/Dieter: We were never close.
    • And
    Roger: And I'll do all the chorus boys.
    Marjorie: I bet you will.
    • And
    Marjorie: I think I will have that drink, Helsa, it'll make it easier to forgive licentious behavior.
    Roger: I was not being licentious, Marjorie, a bit lascivious, a trifle libidinous, perhaps but not licentious.
    Marjorie: What's the difference?
    Ken: The placement of the tongue, I'd imagine.
    • And, of course, the great moment after all of the lights in the theater go out
    Police Officer: Nobody move, it might be a power failure.
    (pause followed by a shriek)
    Bernice: What was that?!
    Roger: An owl.
    • Ah, but what about the funniest scene? In Act II, one of the characters, O'Reilly, is searching for the maid through the mansion, who then sneaks up on him and tries to kill him. Both attack each other, one thing leads to another, until... well... this happens.
  • Young Frankenstein: "Flying down to Rio!?"
    • Also, "What else can go wrong!?" -BANG- "It's MEEEEEEEEEE!"
  • "Invocation and Instructions to the Audience" from Sondheim's adaptation of The Frogs. Just to give you an idea, the third line is:
    "You who look down on actors... And who doesn't?
    • And it gets better, with one of the actor's cellphones going off, and later with such lines as:
      "Do not intrude, please, if someone's nude, please, she's there for mood, please, and mustn't be embraced!"
  • In South Pacific, one of the most amazing scenes that had me laughing was when Nellie sang "Honey Bun" which then had Billis come out in a grass skirt, coconut bra, and underwear. Then it gets funnier. In a touching scene, Billis pulls a letter from Emile from the coconut bra.
  • Anything done by the Two Men in Kiss Me, Kate, but especially "Brush Up Your Shakespeare", the last song before the finale.
    • The spanking scene is funny enough, but Lilly/Katherine being unable to ride on a donkey in the next scene because of it takes the cake.
  • The musical version of The Secret Garden after Mary meets her Uncle Archibald, her new guardian:
    Mary: Does my mother have any other family?
  • 110 in the Shade: Lizzie's father an brothers have been trying to convince her love interest to come to a picnic, but it's proving difficult because he doesn't play cards, doesn't dance, and:
    File: When I eat/it makes me sleep/and then I start to snore/So I-
    The Currys: ... don't go to many picnics.
    • Audra McDonald (a well-respected African-American stage actress and singer) who played the originally-white Lizzie in the 2007 revival, added another funny moment to the song "Raunchy":
      I'll paint my lips a rosy red,
      I'll pour peroxide on my hea— No, I'm not doin' that, no, no.
  • Yvan's famous monologue in Art, an epic three and a half minute rant about how the minutest of details (the design of a wedding invitation) has blown up into an monumental family feud. Being able to memorise the whole thing doubles as a Crowning Moment of Awesome for any actor.
  • Every Gilbert and Sullivan show has at least one of these. Take a certain Trope Namer from The Pirates of Penzance, for example - "NO SOUND AT ALL! WE NEVER SPEAK A WORD!"
    • The "little list" in The Mikado.
    • In Ruddigore, Rose checking her "book of etiquette" to find out how she should respond to a marriage proposal (from a complete stranger).
    Now, how should a maiden deal with such an one? (refers to book) "Keep no one in unnecessary suspense." Behold, I will not keep you in unnecessary suspense. (refers to book) "In accepting an offer of marriage, do so with apparent hesitation." I take you, but with a certain show of reluctance. (refers to book) "Avoid any appearance of eagerness." Though you will bear in mind that I am far from anxious to do so. (refers to book) "A little show of emotion will not be misplaced!" Pardon this tear! (wipes her eye)
  • Seeing the Birds and the Bees talk done entirely through mime in Once Upon a Mattress.
  • In Bye Bye Birdie, when the kids ambush Conrad and Kim at the Ice House, Ursula jumps on Conrad's back and yells "LET'S HAVE AN ORGY!" with a hard G. note 
    • "You're just like your father...you'd marry anything!"
  • Even though the play is a tragedy, the entire monologue from The Glass Menagerie that begins "I go to opium dens!"
  • The dialogue between the Wicked Witch of the West and the Winkie Leader in The Wizard of Oz. It's arguably funnier than anything in the movie. To clarify, The Wicked Witch asks the Winkies why they always make a low brooding chant whenever they go anywhere.
    Winkie Leader: It's based off an old Winkie chant.
    Wicked Witch: What was it?
    Winkie Leader: It went something like — (repeats chant of Winkies, heads off-stage)
    Wicked Witch: (to the audience) Next time I enslave a race, I'll remember to check their intelligence capacity first.
  • The "bedroom scenes" from the Rocky Horror Show. Just Brad's/Janet's reaction to finding they're really having sex with Frank N Furter is pure hilarity.
  • Tim Curry reprising his role as Dr. Frank N Furter for a brief theater skit is both hilarious and pure awesomeness.
    Dr. Frank N Furter: (As two men in speedos and a woman in a bikini walk into stage) Two men and a Scientologist, it's perfect. Wait for me in the humvee, would you?
  • Tom Stoppard's plays are very witty and often bawdy as well. "The Fifteen-Minute Hamlet" from Dogg's Hamlet, Cahoot's Macbeth, however, has got to take the cake on hilarity.
  • Promises Promises, especially in the revival. Every time Chuck imagines what Fran is saying to him, then compared to what she's really saying.
    • Also, who could forget: "It's owl".
  • George's Monologue in the middle of Durang's The Actor's Nightmare. Sheer brilliance.
    George: To be or not to be, that is the question...oh maid! Line. Line! Ohhh. Oh, what a rogue and peasant slave am I. Whether tis nobler in the mind to kill oneself, or not killing oneself, to sleep a great deal.
  • Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson has many, but special mention must go to the 'feelings' scene.
  • The scene in Woody Allen's Don't Drink the Water when Mr. Kilroy gets nailed in the head with a brick and thinks he's the Wright brothers, all punctuated by the final line "Orville, you always were mother's favorite."
  • For those who had the opportunity to watch it, the Brazilian play Hermanoteu Na Terra de Godá (Hermanoteu In The Land of Godá), by comedic group Os Melhores do Mundo (The World's Best), is chockfull of absolutely hilarious moments (They don't call themselves the world's best for nothing). To exemplify some of the jokes that translate well to English...
    • When the eponymous prophet wannabe arrives in rome, a series of events have him having to fight in the gladiatorial games to get an auction with Julius Caesar. The captain of guard then explains...
    Captain: You will have to win a duel to the death to get what you wish.
    Hermanoteu: And... Who do I have to fight?
    Captain: You must face... (deep breath) Glandius, the Gladiator of the Grand Gland!
    (Both actors try their best to hold back laughter)
    Hermanoteu: C-Come again?
    Captain: Don't make me say it again.
    • Arriving in Egypt, Hermanoteu meets a long not seen friend, Isaac, who is now working as a soldier for Queen Cleopatra after failing to follow Moses through the parted Red Sea. While Isaac is technically the "Last Jewish in Egypt" that Hermanoteu was sent to free, he likes being a soldier and doesn't want the Queen to find out he was one of the escaped slaves, but Hermanoteu insists in trying to tell her.
    Isaac: (After taking Hermanoteu to the other side of the stage so Cleopatra won't hear them) Listen here, Hermanoteu... Do you intend to take me to dinner?
    Hermanoteu: Uh... No.
    Isaac: Buy me some flowers, maybe a box of chocolates?
    Hermanoteu: That wasn't in my plans, no.
    Isaac: No romantic stroll on the beach or going to catch a movie?
    Hermanoteu: Nope. Why-
    Isaac: BECAUSE YOU'RE TRYING TO FUCK ME, DUDE!
    • Hermanoteu comes across a duo of Visigoth barbarians, who pride themselves on their "Rape and Kill" lifestile.
    Hermanoteu: So that's all you guys do?
    Fat Visigoth: Of course! At every village we come across!
    Thin Visigoth: Just at the last village, we killed all women and raped all goats!
    Both Visigoths: (Beat, both look at each other like they forgot something important)
    Hermanoteu: Er... Then I don't suppose you'll just let me go?
    Thin Visigoth: We either kill or rape!
    Fat Visigoth: (Grins menacingly at Hermanoteu) Turn around for a sec...
    (Beat)
    Hermanoteu: Sorry, friend, don't take this the hard way, but... We're not even half an hour into the play and you're already the third guy trying to screw me.
  • 42nd Street has some pretty hilarious moments in the musical.
    • Julian having to snap Maggie out from her own little fantasy about the perfect song for leading diva Dorothy Brock to sing.
    Julian: Maggie... Maggie... THANK YOU MAGGIE! *Maggie stops singing and moves away for Dorothy to sing*
    • Pat Denning constantly getting mistaken for some form of stage hand, and depending on the actor, his reactions can be priceless.
    • Dorothy Brock cannot dance to save her life, and productions love to take advantage of that. It ends up having her look like a leaping deer rather than a seasoned broadway veteran.
    • A Running Gag, Peggy Sawyer has virtually no spacial awareness and bumps into everyone.

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