History Funny / Frasier

* Although this episode is best remembered for the WhamLine in the third act (Frasier, flying high on painkillers, unwittingly tells Daphne that Niles has been in love with her for six years), it still has room for humour. Frasier's back seizes up while he is blowing out a candle on a birthday cupcake from Martin, and Niles shows up at KACL with a "lumbar log" (a cylindrical cushion for lower back support). He and Roz wonder if there might be more to Frasier's back pain:

'''Niles:''' You're ALWAYS asking! Badgering! ''Spying'' on me! Well, I won't be ''suffocated'' anymore! I'm ''tired'' of being your trophy boy! It's '''over!''' You hear me!? '''''Over!''' [sniffs haughtily]'' And I'm ''keeping'' the jewellery. ''[sweeps off, slamming the door behind him]''\\

'''Martin, Frasier, Niles:''' VENEER! ''[all three take a sip of their drinks]''\\

* While suffering from his back pain, Frasier sits down in Martin's recliner, and discovers, much to his horror, just how ''nice'' it is.
-->''[Niles enters the living room with a glass of water for Frasier and sees him in the recliner; his jaw drops]''\\
'''Niles:''' Oh my God, did you fall??\\
'''Frasier:''' ''[in a blissful daze]'' No, I'm actually quite comfortable, Niles. And look, there's no glare on the television... ''[indicating the table next to the chair]'' And here's a lovely place to set your drink.\\

* Eventually, Frasier decides to act on Roz' suggestion by talking about things that are bothering him... to Eddie. Frasier doesn't see Daphne enter behind him and overhear him say that he loves her (platonically, but he doesn't specify as much) and needs to tell her before she moves in with Donny, but Eddie ''does'' see her; when Frasier finishes his "confession" (and Daphne has fled the room in shock), he notices that Eddie has buried his face in the couch.

* KACL has hired a pair of {{Dumbass DJ}}s, Carlos and the Chicken, for their "morning zoo" show. They waste no time in antagonising Frasier with prank calls and quips about the size of his backside, leading to the sound clip "Frasier Crane's Humongous ASSSSSSS Contest!" with a $1,000 prize for a winning photo from their listeners.
* After the first time, Frasier finds Daphne had been listening in her room. Just as he's saying it's a generational thing, Martin comes in, laughing about it as well. Then Frasier goes to leave.

* The second time they prank Frasier, he's in the tub, singing... which they catch, and ask him to stomp around his bathroom while singing. Meanwhile, Daphne, Martin and Niles are listening to the radio in the front room. As is Roz, who's in her car, [[{{Facepalm}} head pressed against the steering wheel]].
* With the $1,000 contest in full swing, the would-be shutterbugs trying to get the perfect snapshot of his backside have rendered Frasier a paranoid wreck, to the point that when he hears a knock at his front door, he first checks the spyhole, then opens the door and drags a startled Niles inside.

-->'''Martin:''' Do you think you could get me a tape of that show?\\

'''Martin:''' It's not every day you hear your son on the radio.\\
'''Frasier:''' ''(volcanic DeathGlare)'' ''I'm on the radio '''every day!'''''

* Frasier is prepared to "eviscerate" Carlos and the Chicken with a series of acidic quotes from such historic wits as François de La Rochefoucauld, Creator/DorothyParker, Creator/OscarWilde, Creator/MarkTwain, and Creator/HLMencken.[[note]] One quote he probably should have consulted: Creator/{{Voltaire}}, "A witty saying proves nothing."[[/note]] However, he only gets as far as saying he's had all he can stand from "a juvenile comic and his straight man" (Chicken says he'll take his "straight man" over Frasier's "sex-starved producer" any day; Frasier has to lock an enraged Roz out before she can interrupt) before the duo get into an argument over which of them is the straight man that proceeds to open deeper wounds until Carlos announces the dissolution of their double act. The Chicken (whose real name is revealed to be Dwayne) then cuts off Frasier's last attempt at his speech by [[YouMakeMeSic correcting his pronunciation of La Rochefoucauld's name.]] Frasier chases him out of the booth in anger.

* Frasier, hosting the late night version of his show, dealing with a man who thinks his radio is talking to him.

* The waiter chooses this moment to return with the ketchup, and is understandably confused to see that Lilith is now with a different man.
-->'''Frasier:''' ''[as Lilith retrieves the bill from the bathroom, in which she hid the cart with Niles]'' Well, this is a... little embarrassing. ''[gesturing toward the bathroom]'' That's my ex-wife, we're, uh... sort of re-connecting.\\

* Still unaware of Niles' presence, Frasier orders some Eggs Benedict for himself, saying "No reason she should eat alone!" and prompting another "Okay..." from the increasingly bewildered waiter.

-->'''Waiter:''' [[RunningGag Okay...]]

* Frasier's fling with an extreme GranolaGirl. He starts to get turned off when he finds out she installed meat hooks on her ceiling, cuts her own hair and puts it in her pillows, uses dead mice for her artwork, and howls at the moon like a wolf. He's fleeing when Caitlyn asks, "Don't you think I'm worth it?" and removes her top. Frasier's response: he howls like a wolf.

[[AC:612: Our Parents Ourselves]]

-->'''Bonnie:''' ''(to Frasier)'' Your dad is so proud of you. ''(seeing Niles.)'' Who's your friend?\\

'''Frasier:''' Who knows, it may just work out this time!\\

* The situation is finally resolved as Frasier and Lilith swear off the idea of sleeping together, and Niles reaches enough of a state of equilibrium that he is no longer suffering from narcolepsy. Lilith heads into the bathroom to eat her Eggs Florentine... and the waiter returns with Frasier's breakfast, now finding Frasier and ''Niles'' in the room.

'''Frasier:''' As if a smile from Maris couldn't freeze mercury! ''[Niles looks outraged and sets down his wine glass in preparation to return fire]''\\

* Lilith visits to announce her next husband left her... for a man.
-->'''Lilith:''' Brian said he wanted someone more feminine... and he found him.

* Frasier worries that with Lilith vulnerable after her husband has left her, they will end up in bed together against their better judgement. At the episode's halfway point, Lilith wakes up, having slept with... Niles. The significance of the episode's title comes into play when a room service waiter delivers their breakfast (Eggs Benedict for Niles, Eggs Florentine for Lilith). Lilith sends him away for ketchup; when he returns, Frasier is in the room with Lilith instead, and, unaware of Niles' presence, asks the waiter to bring up some Eggs Benedict. When the flummoxed waiter returns with Frasier's breakfast, he finds Frasier and ''Niles'' in the room.
-->'''Waiter:''' ''(responding to others at many points of the scene)'' [[SureLetsGoWithThat Okay...]]

'''Martin:''' Hey, don't stop there. Maybe you could station somebody on the roof with a machine gun to shoot at people who try to get in!

--> '''Bulldog:''' [[YourApprovalFillsMeWithShame Great job, Doc! My date's dress is stickin' to her like Saran Wrap!]]

* The reveal of just who's next to Frasier's apartment at the resort, as Frasier's enjoys a balcony view while Marianne gets prepared...

* The climax of Niles and Martin inadvertently turning Freddie into a walking disaster magnet is one of the series' better moments of silent comedy. Over the course of the second act, Martin accidentally hits Freddie in the eye with a baseball, Niles accidentally hits him in the nose with the freezer door, Martin gives him bubble gum which he then has to cut out of Freddie's hair, and Niles gives him remoulade which causes a flare-up of the lad's anchovy allergy - none of which crosses Frasier and Lilith's radar, as they are too busy sabotaging Freddie's chances of getting into Marbury through overthinking things; Dr. Campbell then makes the mistake of implying that if they can produce a fully cooked turkey for his Thanksgiving dinner (his own having failed to cook properly), he might let Freddie into the school (actually just a ploy to get rid of them once and for all). In a dialogue-free scene, Niles bastes the turkey as Martin races into the kitchen, grabs an ice pack from the freezer, and races out again, followed by Niles with a bottle of wine and an exasperated look. While they are out of the kitchen, Frasier and Lilith return, take the turkey out of the oven, and carry it out to the car. As the timer goes off, Niles returns, then opens the oven, and is thoroughly confused to find the turkey gone. He even checks the other oven.

* Lilith has called with news that Freddie has passed the entrace exam to the Marbury Academy, Boston's most prestigious prep school, but the headmaster, Dr. Campbell, needs to interview them before a final decision can be made, and he can only see them on Thanksgiving morning. So the Cranes' Thanksgiving is transferred from Seattle to Boston, and their arrival at Lilith's house heralds a classic example of Niles-Lilith sniping:

* The Cranes' Thanksgiving celebrations are moved from Seattle to Boston after Freddie passes the entrance exam to the city's most prestigious prep school, the Marbury Academy, and the headmaster's only available time to interview Frasier and Lilith is Thanksgiving morning. Their arrival at Lilith's house heralds a classic example of Niles-Lilith sniping:

* The climax of Niles and Martin inadvertently turning Freddie into a walking disaster magnet is one of the series' better moments of silent comedy. Over the course of the second act, Martin accidentally hits Freddie in the eye with a baseball, Niles accidentally hits him in the nose with the freezer door, Martin gives him bubble gum which he then has to cut out of Freddie's hair, and Niles gives him remoulade which causes a flare-up of the lad's anchovy allergy - none of which crosses Frasier and Lilith's radar, as they are too busy sabotaging Freddie's chances of getting into Marbury through overthinking things; the headmaster then makes the mistake of implying that if they can produce a fully cooked turkey for his Thanksgiving dinner (his own having failed to cook properly), he might let Freddie into the school (actually just a ploy to get rid of them once and for all). In a dialogue-free scene, Niles bastes the turkey as Martin races into the kitchen, grabs an ice pack from the freezer, and races out again, followed by Niles with a bottle of wine and an exasperated look. While they are out of the kitchen, Frasier and Lilith return, take the turkey out of the oven, and carry it out to the car. As the timer goes off, Niles returns, then opens the oven, and is thoroughly confused to find the turkey gone. He even checks the other oven.

* A classic example of Niles-Lilith sniping:

* The climax of Niles and Martin inadvertently turning Freddie into a walking disaster magnet is one of the series' better moments of silent comedy. Over the course of the second act, Martin accidentally hits Freddie in the eye with a baseball, Niles accidentally hits him in the nose with the freezer door, Martin gives him bubble gum which he then has to cut out of Freddie's hair, and Niles gives him remoulade which causes a flare-up of the lad's anchovy allergy - none of which crosses Frasier and Lilith's radar, as they are too busy sabotaging Freddie's chances of getting into a prestigious prep school through overthinking things; the headmaster then makes the mistake of implying that if they can produce a fully cooked turkey for his Thanksgiving dinner (his own having failed to cook properly), he might let Freddie into the school (actually just a ploy to get rid of them once and for all). In a dialogue-free scene, Niles bastes the turkey as Martin races into the kitchen, grabs an ice pack from the freezer, and races out again, followed by Niles with a bottle of wine and an exasperated look. While they are out of the kitchen, Frasier and Lilith return, take the turkey out of the oven, and carry it out to the car. As the timer goes off, Niles returns, then opens the oven, and is thoroughly confused to find the turkey gone. He even checks the other oven.

'''Niles:''' ''(staring at her chest)'' Oh well, I haven't seen [[FreudianSlip your two]] in a long time -— "you, too," "you, too!" [[invoked]]

* Frasier's fling with an extreme GranolaGirl. He starts to get turned off when he finds out she installed meat hooks on her ceiling, cuts her own hair and puts it in her pillows, uses dead mice for her artwork, and howls at the moon like a wolf. He's fleeing when Caitlyn asks, "Don't you think I'm worth it" and removes her top. Frasier's response: he howls like a wolf.

* After Frasier grumbles about the situation with loaning Roz, Daphne [[RantInducingSlight suddenly lets loose]] with a long rant at Frasier for being stingy, then having to make a massive VerbalBackspace when called on it.

-->'''Bonnie:''' ''(to Frasier)'' Your dad is so proud of you. ''(seeing Niles.) Who's your friend?\\

* Another of Daphne's stories about her weird brothers and her childhood. This time, the "Toe Fairy", helped by Martin's being increasingly freaked out.
-->'''Daphne:''' ''(on her brothers' competitiveness)'' They'd take little brother Michael, put him in a potato sack and see who could roll him the farthest over the frozen lake out back. They loved that game! Until the year the spring thaw set in early and poor Michael went right through the ice. Ooh, they caught hell for that one, they did. Caught it worse a week later when Michael's toe finally fell off. Michael cried and cried until they told him to put it under his pillow for the toe fairy! And then he got five quid for it, why, it was all they could do to stop him sawing off the rest of them. ''(laughs)''\\
'''Martin:''' ''What's keeping you guys with that box?''

* Frasier hires another radio psychiatrist for the station based on her blatant flattery. Things take a turn for the worse during her first show, during which she proves to be a HolierThanThou {{Slut Sham|ing}}er, provoking a round of tit-for-tat with Frasier. Eventually, Frasier (against the suggestion of Roz who wanted to do something more below the belt) brings in Dr Nora's mother, who despite acting friendly with Frasier, quickly shows her true colors when confronting her daughter...
--> '''Mrs. Mulhearne:''' '''''[[MyBelovedSmother YOU LITTLE WHORE!!!]]''''' ''(Frasier, Roz, Nora and her producer all drop their jaws in shock)''
* The StuntCasting makes it even better, since Nora's mother is played by Piper Laurie, an actress whose best-known role involves [[Film/{{Carrie}} slut-shaming her daughter.]]
-->'''Mrs. Mulhearne:''' So, you thought you could get away from me, did you? Thought you could leave me to rot in that dump without [[TheAlcoholic barely enough cash for a bottle of Mateus]]! You'll pay for that, missy!\\
'''Roz:''' ''(jumping for joy)'' I was wrong, Frasier. Your way ''is'' better!
* Throughout the episode, Niles is trying to grow a mustache. Emphasis heavily on ''trying''. Frasier doesn't notice, and Daphne just thinks he's got schmutz on his face.

** And later on, when Roz reveals it's becoming a relationship:

'''Ros:''' What?\\

-->'''Martin:''' ''(on Niles' sunday school experiences)'' I remember it like it was yesterday...\\

* Frasier is prepared to "eviscerate" Carlos and the Chicken with a series of acidic quotes from such historic wits as François de La Rochefoucauld, Creator/DorothyParker, Creator/OscarWilde, Creator/MarkTwain, and Creator/HLMencken.[[note]] One quote he probably should have consulted: Creator/{{Voltaire}}, "A witty saying proves nothing."[[/note]] However, he only gets as far as saying he's had all he can stand from "a juvenile comic and his straight man" (Chicken says he'll take his "straight man" over Frasier's "sex-starved producer" any day; Frasier has to lock an enraged Roz in the producer's booth before she can interrupt) before the duo get into an argument over which of them is the straight man that proceeds to open deeper wounds until Carlos announces the dissolution of their double act. The Chicken (whose real name is revealed to be Dwayne) then cuts off Frasier's last attempt at his speech by [[YouMakeMeSic correcting his pronunciation of La Rochefoucauld's name.]] Frasier chases him out of the booth in anger.

-->'''Frasier:''' Stephen, turn down your radio.\\

'''Frasier:''' … Stephen, this is your radio talking. I am a good radio, and I care about you very much. Now turn me off, go to bed, and seek counselling in the morning.\\
'''Stephen:''' Sorry, doc, can't talk.

* The beginning of the second part has Roz telling Frasier in a moment of desperation that she went out with ''Bulldog''.
-->'''Frasier:''' Didn't your mother ever warn you that sex could lead to relationships?

* After Frasier grumbles about the situation with loaning Roz, Daphne [[RantInducingSlight suddenly lets loose]] with a long rant at Frasier for being stingy.

'''Niles:''' ''(despairing)'' Oh, Frasier, why did I go over there? Why didn't I listen to you?\\

* Niles finds out that the gifts Frasier had been getting had been intended for him, and were from Frasier. Frasier has a wonderful bit of ComicallyMissingThePoint when informed.

'''Niles:''' If you ''ever'' find yourself in that position again, be sure to call on me! ''[Daphne gives him a puzzled look, while Frasier opts for a contemptuous glare; Niles returns Frasier's glare]'' '''For help.'''\\

-->'''Frasier:''' Let me see if I can get this straight. All the lust coursing through this lodge tonight, all the hormones virtually ricocheting off the walls, and ''no one''... was chasing me? [everyone else absorbs this]'' See you at breakfast.

'''Police:''' [[PunctuatedForEmphasis I'm. Not. Pregnant.]]\\