History Funny / FatherTed

* Then Ted trips over the brick ''[[RunningGag again]]'' - and draws what looks like a complicated diagram on the chalkboard before a shift in camera angle reveals that [[http://file004.bebo.com/large/2006/02/23/18/19963716a330333458b524719537l.jpg he has simply written "WE PUT THE BRICK ON THE ACCELERATOR"]]. A plan which almost fails when Dougal, before stepping off the milk float, picks up the brick and shouts "Ted, you forgot your brick!"

'''Ted''': Really? So, you've changed from your initial prediction of... what was it again? "Ruud Gullit sitting on a shed." God, Dougal, where do you get these ideas from? I bet it's just a lovely angel. ''(to Jack)'' What do you think's under tomorrow's window, Father?\\

'''Ted''': [[DeadpanSnarker Who knows]]...\\

-->'''Dougal:''' (''nonchalantly'') [[DissonantSerenity Sorry 'bout that.]] (''In the background, [[StuffBlowingUp the hearse explodes into flames]]'')

* Ted and Dougal return to St. Clobbert's with a torch to shine in the faces of the residents so they can identify Jack. Each one screams one of Jack's four signature catchphrases - with one exception...

-->'''Ted:''' Were you in Vietnam, Segeant?

** They also spot Jack loose in the woods but Ted asks Sergeant Deegan not to shoot as "he'll find the way home". Cue Jack running like a wild animal to rousing music.

* The broadcast of the interview itself is another classic. Dougal, identified by a caption as "Father Ted Crilly", tells the camera [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} he's not sure if God really exists and doesn't go much for the whole organised religion thing, and then begins relating the wonders of the spider baby]], all while the real Ted is taken away in an ambulance in the background -- and is half-mummified by plaster casts and bandages next to Dougal and Mrs. Doyle as he watches the programme. Then Jack wakes up and sees Dougal's face on the television.

-->'''Ted:''' ''(tears page off calendar)'' July 19... why does that strike me as important?\\
'''Dougal:''' ''(catching a fish in his Magnetic Fish Pond game)'' Yes! Er... July 19... I wouldn't know, Ted, you big bollocks.\\
'''Ted:''' ''(outraged)'' ... I'M SORRY!?\\

* Jack's ImpossibleTheft of two bottlefuls of wine (not the bottles, ''just the wine'') from roughly five yards away while Ted's looking to one side for a couple seconds. And that childishly innocent act afterward.

* Jack's ImpossibleTheft of two bottlefuls of wine from roughly five yards away while Ted's looking to one side for a couple seconds. And that childishly innocent act afterward.

* The big pile of boxes in the middle of the road. Everything about that scene. The [[RuleOfFunny sheer absurdity]] of having the pile of boxes there to begin with, Ted not just moving the boxes out of the way, but putting them in the very same pyramid configuration on the other side of the road - and still having enough time to get them out of the way before Dougal hits them, Dougal's expression of utter delight when he realises he isn't going to hit the boxes, Ted getting in his car and ploughing straight through the boxes... all backed by ridiculously tense music.

* Far from condemning Ted's apparent racism, some of the Craggy Islanders are congratulating him on it.

-->'''Mrs Doyle''': Noooow... and what do you say to a cup?

* The broadcast of the interview itself is another classic. Dougal, identified by a caption as "Father Ted Crilly", tells the camera [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} he's not sure if God really exists and doesn't go much for the whole organised religion thing, and then begins relating the wonders of the spider baby]], all while the real Ted is taken away in an ambulance in the background -- and is half-mummified by plaster casts and bandages next to Dougal and Mrs. Doyle as he watches the programme. Then Jack wakes up and sees Dougal's face on the television...

-->'''Announcer at Funland:''' "A child has been lodged in the Tunnel of Goats... If we could have a nurse, please, to the Tunnel of Goats, thank you... A goat and a child have now become lodged together, and a nurse has become involved in the incident... Another nurse is required to release the nurse we asked for previously..."

* Following the above, Dougal tells Ted how he rode an old man like a horse for a whole hour, whipping him like a jockey. Ted's reaction is what sells the joke.

* At the end of the episode, Ted is putting out the rubbish in the middle of the night, and then hears a noise and looks up. He is promptly hit on the head by the brick, which had been launched into orbit by the explosion and now returned to earth.

'''Dougal:''' I'll look it up in the diary. ''(picks up diary from nearby shelf and turns through the pages; Ted picks up one of the fishing rods from Magnetic Fish Pond)'' July 19. "On this day: Galway liberated from Indians." Er, "Marathon becomes Snickers..."[[note]] Though this happened in July 1990, there is some debate as to whether or not it happened on the 19th.[[/note]] ''(triumphantly)'' Aha, Ted, [[TheCuckoolanderWasRight "Ice Age ends!"]] ''(Ted angrily throws the fishing rod into the cardboard "pond")''

* Needless to say, it takes mere minutes of abstension before the three priests begin suffering massive withdrawal symptoms. Ted [[MeatOVision hallucinating Dougal as a giant cigarette]] and Jack hallucinating Ted as a giant pint of Guinness? Funny. Dougal hallucinating Ted as a giant rollerblade? Hysterical.

* Father Jack's replacement is Father Fintan Stack, whose behavior is as un-priest-like as possible. This includes drilling holes into the walls of the house for no reason and blaring jungle music at 3am among other things.

* Ted and Dougal searching for Jack at St. Clobbert's home for retired priests. Dougal switches on the light in the sitting room - and he and Ted learn the hard way that every single priest there has Jack's NoIndoorVoice catchphrases, as they all begin bellowing, "DRINK! FECK! ARSE! GIRLS!" When one of the nuns on the staff runs over to see what the noise is, Ted and Dougal "[[PaperThinDisguise disguise]]" themselves by finding some empty space on a sofa and joining in the chorus of "DRINK! FECK! ARSE! GIRLS!" - Dougal, naturally, continues shouting even after the lights are switched off again.

'''Mr. Benson:''' It did! He was being executed by the British. They had 'im up against a wall, and they shot him! And the bullets all hit the whistle in his coat pocket, and bounced off 'im!\\

* Ted's presentation on diversity in the Craggy Island community hits all the wrong notes. He lists [[Film/TheKarateKid Mr Miyagi]] and [[Franchise/FlashGordon Ming The Merciless]] as notable Chinese people, describes the Chinese as "[[MemeticMutation a great bunch of lads]]" and puts a very unsubtle subliminal message at the end by quickly alternating between a slide of his own face and the phrase "Not a racist".

* A bit earlier, we see Jack grinning over a magazine that's literally just titled ''[[CatchPhrase Girls]]''. ("... GIRLS!") The girls on the cover are dressed like Victorian schoolmarms.