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--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''[-[[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe are you fucking kidding me right now i'm actively being low-effort this riff because fuck this riff]] [[PaintingTheMedium why am i the only one who's paying attention]]-]''
to:
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''[-[[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe are you fucking kidding me right now i'm actively being low-effort this riff because fuck this riff]] [[PaintingTheMedium '''[[PaintingTheMedium why am i the only one who's paying attention]]-]''attention]]'''-]''
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* "the first they see is a Green colt"
-->'''[=SC276=]''': So they don't look like one of the bullies.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Joke's on them, it's actually Franchise/{{Kirby}}. (picture of [[VideoGame/SuperSmashBros64 Kirby posing with the Yoshi Cap]])
** "' you mean that guy ' she points the Green Pony"
--->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': No. It's that guy. [[RunningGag *points at unspecified person*]]
--->'''Mono''': [[DistinctionWithoutADifference No, that guy. *points in a nonspecific direction*]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[TheTriple No,]] [[BrickJoke it's still Kirby. (different picture of Kirby with the Yoshi cap)]]
-->'''[=SC276=]''': So they don't look like one of the bullies.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Joke's on them, it's actually Franchise/{{Kirby}}. (picture of [[VideoGame/SuperSmashBros64 Kirby posing with the Yoshi Cap]])
** "' you mean that guy ' she points the Green Pony"
--->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': No. It's that guy. [[RunningGag *points at unspecified person*]]
--->'''Mono''': [[DistinctionWithoutADifference No, that guy. *points in a nonspecific direction*]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[TheTriple No,]] [[BrickJoke it's still Kirby. (different picture of Kirby with the Yoshi cap)]]
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[[folder:Red Apple]]
* In the intro, [=SC276=] and Ring allude to this fic having connections to [[CallBack the Nostalgia Critic fic done in the "Stocking Stuffer Shuffle"]], but decide to hold off revealing what ''[[FanFic/OnACrossAndArrow else]]'' it crosses over with until later. This is the only hint given beforehand:
-->'''Ringmaster''': Let's let them find out, but I'll just mention this: [[ARareSentence As horrible as it is, Applecest would make]] ''[[ARareSentence far, far more sense]]'' [[ARareSentence than what's going on here.]]
-->'''[=SC276=]''': ''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck We're in that deep, folks.]]''
** When it comes time for the fic to [[TyopOnTheCover (attempt to)]] explain what's going on, [=SC276=] decides to help explain [[ItMakesSenseInContext with algebra]]:
--->"yes yes i knowit is pretty weird though but heres something the universe i live in is actually more advnaced than this universe
---->'''Mono''': [[SarcasmMode It's so advances, the spelling of some words have changed.]]
---->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[SarcasmFailure This... uh... this...]]
--->and everyone in this universe is genderswapped and some changes"
---->'''Mono''': So... [[ElephantInTheLivingRoom this still counts as incest, right?]] Or, since Little Mac is obviously a guy... [[FromBadToWorse does this mean it's selfcest?]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''[[RageBreakingPoint YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER, DON'T PRETEND YOU AND I NEVER DID THAT SOLO RIFF, PAL]]''
---->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[ScrewYourself Selfcest, masturbation, same thing honestly.]]
---->'''[=SC276=]''': So in case you still haven't got it. [[CouldSayItBut (pulls out a piece of sidewalk chalk; draws an X and a triangle with a line coming out of one side on the wall,]] [[KickTheDog then shuffs the chalk down the throat of the first person to complain about vandalism)]]
---->'''[=PanzerThiefZero=]''': (is choking from the chalk) I told you, that's ''my'' wall! Go vandalize someone else's!
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[FailedASpotCheck ...SC, this isn't fucking algebra.]]
** Several dozen pages later, [=Crazy56U=] [[WrongGenreSavvy (having assumed SC and Ring lied about explaining what's going on)]] decides to clarify:
--->meanwhile Twilight Sparkle and Spike were working in their home library while Dusk and Barbara is out somewhere to get something for Twilight and Spike
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': Meanwhile, in a completely different story.
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[LiteralMetaphor Right you are, Bitt.]] [[WrongGenreSavvy I thought SC or Ring would've ripped the bandaid off by now, but I guess they decided "No, fuck them", so here I am.]] That thing Ring mentioned in the intro about the Author making his own "universe"? Well, guess what? Both this, and the Nostalgia Critic fanfic, are ''fan sequels'' to a little story called "FanFic/OnACrossAndArrow". AKA, that fan fic where the Mane 6 discovered RuleSixtyThree. Now, for ''[[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext whatever fucking reason]]'', the Author decided to [[ItRunsOnNonsensoleum throw caution to the wind]], rename some of the genderbent characters, shove both universes together, [[ScrewYourself have the Mane 6 hook up with the Male 6]] ''[[NoJustNoReaction despite that being wrong in every sense of the fucking word]]'', throw up his hands, ''and call it a fucking DAY''. And I ''legitimately fucking hate'' how ''[[FailedASpotCheck I]]'' [[FailedASpotCheck was the one who ripped off the bandaid here.]] [[TheDogBitesBack Oh,]] and because I fucking hate you all, [[{{Foreshadowing}} this fic has a prequel, and it's within running parameters.]] ''Go and pillage.''
---->'''[=SC276=]''': [[LiteralMetaphor Writing's on the wall, mate. (points at the X and triangle on the wall)]] If it turns out [[ViewersAreMorons I overestimated the group intelligence in here and needed to be clearer,]] I can always pull my chalk out of Panzer's gut.
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''You didn't fucking hint shit, you psychopath, [[NotWhatItLooksLike all you did was do algebra and then poison Panzer for no good reason!]]'' (throws brick at the drawings) ''FUCK YOUR WALL''
* When it comes time for the story to introduce the concept of [[HollywoodGenetics "alicorn hybrids"]], we are introduced to the concept of "[=GMA=]". [[TemptingFate And what would that be?]]
-->[[WhamLine Godzilla Monoribonucleic acid]]
--->'''Mono''': "Franchise/{{Godzilla}} Monoribonucleic acid". [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer Yes. You have just fucking read that.]] ''Why didn't you just stop writing after murdering an NC episode...''
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[StunnedSilence ... ... ...so. ... ...]] ...does this mean [[CallBack that Godzilla fic]] we did last year is ''[[CrackFic canon]]'' to this fic? Also, Mono, bad news: [[InMediasRes this fic came first.]]
--->'''Mono''': [[StunnedSilence ... ... ... ...]]''[[SarcasmFailure author, why do you exist?]]'' [[RunningGag *grabs a ball and drops it onto the floor*]]
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[MindScrew ... ... ...I think I felt my brain turn into mush.]]
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [[ArtisticLicenseBiology ...Author, "Monoribonucleic acid" is just "Ribonucleic acid." That's why it's called RNA.]] Nitpicking, perhaps, but ''[[SarcasmFailure how else am I supposed to react to this.]]''
--->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [[MathematiciansAnswer With rage?]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[SuckinessIsPainful Oh God's fist... I think I feel another seizure coming.]]
-->[[FromBadToWorse its rare if GMA gets on you completey you become a Hybrid if it doesnt go you completely but partially or something you become something else a alicorn, unicorn or a pegasus not an earth pony ]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''[[WordSaladHumor You just fucking strung together a series of random fucking words.]]''
--->'''Mono''': So pony genes are the same as monster genes?
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': So all Kaijus are just oversized ponies... [[SureLetsGoWithThat Ok.]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[InsaneTrollLogic ...so "]]FanFic/TheBridge[[InsaneTrollLogic " was right?]]
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [[UnfortunateImplications Also apparently earth ponies are just powerless useless ponies that are defined only by the things they can't do compared to the others,]] ''[[ThatCameOutWrong I fucking dare you to be MORE racist.]]''
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': '''''[[SchmuckBait DON'T LISTEN TO SC, HE'S TRYING TO BAIT YOU, RING IS WATCHING]]'''''
** [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext "he Said in his Nightmare-GAMERA"]]
--->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': Film/{{Gamera}}.. [[BigWhat What?!]] [[FailedASpotCheck When did this turn into a Godzilla fanfic?!]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[ContinuityNod You... flat out ignored the GMA bit, didn't you.]] [[RunningGag (ball drops in the background)]]
--->'''Mono''': [[NotSoDire Well, to be honest, it wasn't like it was easily decipherable.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[FreakOut I spent quite a bit of that on the floor and gibbering, myself.]]
--->'''[=SC276=]''': ...OK, I'll be honest, [[FlashbackFail I forgot that part existed.]] [[HeroicBSOD Because my brain does not want to die.]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''[-[[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe are you fucking kidding me right now i'm actively being low-effort this riff because fuck this riff]] [[PaintingTheMedium why am i the only one who's paying attention]]-]''
* "Applejuice said then Applejack said the same thing and they both sleep outside [[LemonyNarrator in the midddle of a fucking cold night]]"
-->'''Mono''': ''Language, narrator.''
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[ActuallyPrettyFunny (stifles a snicker)]] Is it bad that I think that's the best line of the fic?
-->'''Mono''': ...Jury's still out on that.
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': Meanwhile, it's so hot outside.
-->'''[=SC276=]''': ''[[FreakOut STOP HOGGING ALL THE COLD WHERE'S THE FUCKING RAIN]]''
** It would appear that the Narrator has problems with this story.
--->and heads out side somewhere away from Applejack same as her then they found their own spots a cliff and a tree
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': Guess they'll be sitting by the cliff then.
---->'''Calico''': And not jumping off of it? ''Booooo.''
--->[[ClusterFBomb as fucking usual Applejack on the cliff and Applejuice on a tree seriously are you people fucking nuts]]
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': Oh we will be.
---->'''Mono''': Hey, stay out of this, Narrator. These guys have issues, you know?
---->'''[=SC276=]''': ''[[NeverMyFault You're one to talk when you're the one making them do this.]]''
---->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[InsultToRocks Wow, even the Author is getting tired of his own shit.]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[VerbalBackspace I take it back.]] ''[[SoBadItsGood This]]'' is the best line of the fic.
---->'''Calico''': [[PoesLaw I... can't tell if this line is meant to be taken seriously or not.]]
** And then, when the Narrator [[CaptainObvious pulls the]] [[WesternAnimation/PeppaPig Peppa Pig maneuver]]:
--->Meanwhile Applebloom and Little Mac were heading to School and of course the bell hadn't rung yet
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[RunningGag Because time is a myth. Confirmed.]]
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': That's because someone jammed it.
--->[[AsYouKnow " oh grecious me i glad we got here before the bell rung"]]
---->'''Mono''': ...Peppa Pig, ''please'' hire this guy to be your narrator. [[BileFascination Your show's quality would increase by at least a thousandfold.]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Because that's the one thing Peppa Pig needs; [[SirSwearsALot swears.]] [[SincerityMode ...I'm being serious here.]]
[[/folder]]
* In the intro, [=SC276=] and Ring allude to this fic having connections to [[CallBack the Nostalgia Critic fic done in the "Stocking Stuffer Shuffle"]], but decide to hold off revealing what ''[[FanFic/OnACrossAndArrow else]]'' it crosses over with until later. This is the only hint given beforehand:
-->'''Ringmaster''': Let's let them find out, but I'll just mention this: [[ARareSentence As horrible as it is, Applecest would make]] ''[[ARareSentence far, far more sense]]'' [[ARareSentence than what's going on here.]]
-->'''[=SC276=]''': ''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck We're in that deep, folks.]]''
** When it comes time for the fic to [[TyopOnTheCover (attempt to)]] explain what's going on, [=SC276=] decides to help explain [[ItMakesSenseInContext with algebra]]:
--->"yes yes i knowit is pretty weird though but heres something the universe i live in is actually more advnaced than this universe
---->'''Mono''': [[SarcasmMode It's so advances, the spelling of some words have changed.]]
---->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[SarcasmFailure This... uh... this...]]
--->and everyone in this universe is genderswapped and some changes"
---->'''Mono''': So... [[ElephantInTheLivingRoom this still counts as incest, right?]] Or, since Little Mac is obviously a guy... [[FromBadToWorse does this mean it's selfcest?]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''[[RageBreakingPoint YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER, DON'T PRETEND YOU AND I NEVER DID THAT SOLO RIFF, PAL]]''
---->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[ScrewYourself Selfcest, masturbation, same thing honestly.]]
---->'''[=SC276=]''': So in case you still haven't got it. [[CouldSayItBut (pulls out a piece of sidewalk chalk; draws an X and a triangle with a line coming out of one side on the wall,]] [[KickTheDog then shuffs the chalk down the throat of the first person to complain about vandalism)]]
---->'''[=PanzerThiefZero=]''': (is choking from the chalk) I told you, that's ''my'' wall! Go vandalize someone else's!
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[FailedASpotCheck ...SC, this isn't fucking algebra.]]
** Several dozen pages later, [=Crazy56U=] [[WrongGenreSavvy (having assumed SC and Ring lied about explaining what's going on)]] decides to clarify:
--->meanwhile Twilight Sparkle and Spike were working in their home library while Dusk and Barbara is out somewhere to get something for Twilight and Spike
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': Meanwhile, in a completely different story.
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[LiteralMetaphor Right you are, Bitt.]] [[WrongGenreSavvy I thought SC or Ring would've ripped the bandaid off by now, but I guess they decided "No, fuck them", so here I am.]] That thing Ring mentioned in the intro about the Author making his own "universe"? Well, guess what? Both this, and the Nostalgia Critic fanfic, are ''fan sequels'' to a little story called "FanFic/OnACrossAndArrow". AKA, that fan fic where the Mane 6 discovered RuleSixtyThree. Now, for ''[[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext whatever fucking reason]]'', the Author decided to [[ItRunsOnNonsensoleum throw caution to the wind]], rename some of the genderbent characters, shove both universes together, [[ScrewYourself have the Mane 6 hook up with the Male 6]] ''[[NoJustNoReaction despite that being wrong in every sense of the fucking word]]'', throw up his hands, ''and call it a fucking DAY''. And I ''legitimately fucking hate'' how ''[[FailedASpotCheck I]]'' [[FailedASpotCheck was the one who ripped off the bandaid here.]] [[TheDogBitesBack Oh,]] and because I fucking hate you all, [[{{Foreshadowing}} this fic has a prequel, and it's within running parameters.]] ''Go and pillage.''
---->'''[=SC276=]''': [[LiteralMetaphor Writing's on the wall, mate. (points at the X and triangle on the wall)]] If it turns out [[ViewersAreMorons I overestimated the group intelligence in here and needed to be clearer,]] I can always pull my chalk out of Panzer's gut.
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''You didn't fucking hint shit, you psychopath, [[NotWhatItLooksLike all you did was do algebra and then poison Panzer for no good reason!]]'' (throws brick at the drawings) ''FUCK YOUR WALL''
* When it comes time for the story to introduce the concept of [[HollywoodGenetics "alicorn hybrids"]], we are introduced to the concept of "[=GMA=]". [[TemptingFate And what would that be?]]
-->[[WhamLine Godzilla Monoribonucleic acid]]
--->'''Mono''': "Franchise/{{Godzilla}} Monoribonucleic acid". [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer Yes. You have just fucking read that.]] ''Why didn't you just stop writing after murdering an NC episode...''
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[StunnedSilence ... ... ...so. ... ...]] ...does this mean [[CallBack that Godzilla fic]] we did last year is ''[[CrackFic canon]]'' to this fic? Also, Mono, bad news: [[InMediasRes this fic came first.]]
--->'''Mono''': [[StunnedSilence ... ... ... ...]]''[[SarcasmFailure author, why do you exist?]]'' [[RunningGag *grabs a ball and drops it onto the floor*]]
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[MindScrew ... ... ...I think I felt my brain turn into mush.]]
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [[ArtisticLicenseBiology ...Author, "Monoribonucleic acid" is just "Ribonucleic acid." That's why it's called RNA.]] Nitpicking, perhaps, but ''[[SarcasmFailure how else am I supposed to react to this.]]''
--->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [[MathematiciansAnswer With rage?]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[SuckinessIsPainful Oh God's fist... I think I feel another seizure coming.]]
-->[[FromBadToWorse its rare if GMA gets on you completey you become a Hybrid if it doesnt go you completely but partially or something you become something else a alicorn, unicorn or a pegasus not an earth pony ]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''[[WordSaladHumor You just fucking strung together a series of random fucking words.]]''
--->'''Mono''': So pony genes are the same as monster genes?
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': So all Kaijus are just oversized ponies... [[SureLetsGoWithThat Ok.]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[InsaneTrollLogic ...so "]]FanFic/TheBridge[[InsaneTrollLogic " was right?]]
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [[UnfortunateImplications Also apparently earth ponies are just powerless useless ponies that are defined only by the things they can't do compared to the others,]] ''[[ThatCameOutWrong I fucking dare you to be MORE racist.]]''
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': '''''[[SchmuckBait DON'T LISTEN TO SC, HE'S TRYING TO BAIT YOU, RING IS WATCHING]]'''''
** [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext "he Said in his Nightmare-GAMERA"]]
--->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': Film/{{Gamera}}.. [[BigWhat What?!]] [[FailedASpotCheck When did this turn into a Godzilla fanfic?!]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[ContinuityNod You... flat out ignored the GMA bit, didn't you.]] [[RunningGag (ball drops in the background)]]
--->'''Mono''': [[NotSoDire Well, to be honest, it wasn't like it was easily decipherable.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[FreakOut I spent quite a bit of that on the floor and gibbering, myself.]]
--->'''[=SC276=]''': ...OK, I'll be honest, [[FlashbackFail I forgot that part existed.]] [[HeroicBSOD Because my brain does not want to die.]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''[-[[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe are you fucking kidding me right now i'm actively being low-effort this riff because fuck this riff]] [[PaintingTheMedium why am i the only one who's paying attention]]-]''
* "Applejuice said then Applejack said the same thing and they both sleep outside [[LemonyNarrator in the midddle of a fucking cold night]]"
-->'''Mono''': ''Language, narrator.''
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[ActuallyPrettyFunny (stifles a snicker)]] Is it bad that I think that's the best line of the fic?
-->'''Mono''': ...Jury's still out on that.
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': Meanwhile, it's so hot outside.
-->'''[=SC276=]''': ''[[FreakOut STOP HOGGING ALL THE COLD WHERE'S THE FUCKING RAIN]]''
** It would appear that the Narrator has problems with this story.
--->and heads out side somewhere away from Applejack same as her then they found their own spots a cliff and a tree
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': Guess they'll be sitting by the cliff then.
---->'''Calico''': And not jumping off of it? ''Booooo.''
--->[[ClusterFBomb as fucking usual Applejack on the cliff and Applejuice on a tree seriously are you people fucking nuts]]
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': Oh we will be.
---->'''Mono''': Hey, stay out of this, Narrator. These guys have issues, you know?
---->'''[=SC276=]''': ''[[NeverMyFault You're one to talk when you're the one making them do this.]]''
---->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[InsultToRocks Wow, even the Author is getting tired of his own shit.]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[VerbalBackspace I take it back.]] ''[[SoBadItsGood This]]'' is the best line of the fic.
---->'''Calico''': [[PoesLaw I... can't tell if this line is meant to be taken seriously or not.]]
** And then, when the Narrator [[CaptainObvious pulls the]] [[WesternAnimation/PeppaPig Peppa Pig maneuver]]:
--->Meanwhile Applebloom and Little Mac were heading to School and of course the bell hadn't rung yet
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[RunningGag Because time is a myth. Confirmed.]]
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': That's because someone jammed it.
--->[[AsYouKnow " oh grecious me i glad we got here before the bell rung"]]
---->'''Mono''': ...Peppa Pig, ''please'' hire this guy to be your narrator. [[BileFascination Your show's quality would increase by at least a thousandfold.]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Because that's the one thing Peppa Pig needs; [[SirSwearsALot swears.]] [[SincerityMode ...I'm being serious here.]]
[[/folder]]
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--->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': Actually, I'd say this is more ''WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaidIIIArielsBeginning'', but sure, ''Footloose'' works too.
to:
--->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': Actually, I'd say this is more ''WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaidIIIArielsBeginning'', ''WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaidArielsBeginning'', but sure, ''Footloose'' works too.
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For mulitpart riffs, [[Funny/FanficTheater3015Multiparters go here.]]
to:
->For the main page, [[Funny/FanficTheater3015 go here.]]
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[[/folder]]
to:
----
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For mulitpart riffs, [[Funny/FanficTheater3015Multiparters go here.]]
[[folder:Ten Minutes: Aftermath]]
* "[V]ials of the transforming serum known as 'potion', a purple, grape-flavored construct of human nanotechnology and Equestrian magic."
-->'''Fallen Prime:''' So... delicious magical science.
-->'''Neo:''' Is Potion the market brand name or did they just go for the generic brand? Also, is it really necessary to tell us what flavor it was?
-->'''Steel:''' I... think so? Maybe it's called 'Grape-Flavored Nanomachines', and they just went with 'Potion' for all the youngsters reading.
-->'''Kanzlerin:''' [[VideoGame/MetalGearRisingRevengeance Rules of nature, son.]]
-->'''Neo:''' [[MemeticMutation DON'T FUCK WITH THIS SUN PRINCESS!]]
* "Where the humans had won, lay newly created corpses, dead, gummy eyes staring into oblivion,"
-->'''Sigma:''' Pinkie's pet was given a full decorated funeral with military honors.
-->'''Sven:''' The 21 Party Cannon salute was glorious.
* "[T]he young man could taste the grape on her lips."
-->'''Neo:''' Again, is the whole grape flavor thing really that relevant?
-->'''Steel:''' [[ChekhovsGun I think it suddenly just became relevant.]]
-->'''Neo:''' If grapes actually turn out to be the main ingredient in 'Potion,' then I might just flip a table.
-->'''Axel Nyan:''' This author is trying so hard to force her grape-fetish on her readers.
-->'''RJ:''' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QI5uotLnP2s This]] is going to be stuck in my head every time grape comes up now. Thanks, fic.
-->'''Waterpear:''' The cherry flavor [[GenderBender unconditionally turns you into a mare]]. [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer I am not making this up.]]
-->'''Sigma:''' ...What kind of grape? Green, red, or purple grape? They all have a distinctive taste, you know.
-->'''Neo:''' What about Blue Raspberry?
-->'''[=MrSing=]:''' Nothing like a cold glass of grapes right before battle.
-->'''Cola:''' Hey, now. Grape isn't something to joke about.
-->'''[=SC276=]:''' I'm fairly sure at this point that the "potion" is just wine and everyone is actually drunk off their gourds. [[INeedAFreakingDrink Like I wish I was about a quarter of the way into this mess.]]
* "There would have been no possible way to see anything, had the device at his back detonated. He would have been terminated instantaneously;"
-->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]:''' "[[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment Have I mentioned this yet? Maybe I should write a few more paragraphs just in case my audience doesn't understand.]]"
-->'''[=SC276=]:''' There's {{purple prose}}, and then there's ''ultraviolet''.
* "'I'm just here at Celestia's request to help you. No, don't fret, I'm perfectly fine!' The doctor / pegasus gave Michael a big smile."
-->'''Neo:''' "NOBODY GIVES A SHIT, LARRY!"
-->'''twow:''' [[OhCrap ...Guys.]] ''Celestia can bring dead humans back to life with the power of ponies. AND ONLY BY TURNING THEM INTO PONIES.''
-->'''Steel:''' And thus, Celestia became God.
-->'''Neo:''' [[FridgeLogic So...can she revive ponies by turning them into other ponies?]]
-->'''Steel:''' Ponies are born, live, then are reborn as other ponies. That's one hell of a spiralling circle of life... but what about abortions? Are they just born into other ponies? And what if everyone who can be alive is alive right then? Is everybody just infertile until someone drops dead?
-->'''Simon:''' Dude, you made abortions feel like a reset button. "Ah, I wanted to be a unicorn this time! Kill me, we'll try again!"
* "You took my head off right here, remember?"
-->'''twow:''' He took your head off with a ''bullet?'' Was he using a fucking high-powered sniper rifle?
-->'''Ringmaster:''' Maybe he was using one of [[CallBack Fallen's rusty sawblade guns]].
-->'''Waterpear:''' It was a hypergun. It's just like a regular gun, except it lets you 360noscope entire continents.
-->'''Neo:''' Haven't you seen? They made a gun capable of shooting rusty saw blades.
-->'''Fallen Prime:''' "They?" I thought I patented that!
-->'''Neo:''' It was 'Based off of' your original design in a similar fashion to how this story was based off of Ten Minutes. The gun shoots peeled oranges is what I'm getting at.
-->'''Steel:''' It hasn't really taken with any major militant organizations, but Marketing is working on it.
-->'''Neo:''' [[VideoGame/Portal2 Some nut job named Cave Johnson made it. He said a version that used combustable lemons was in development.]] We're eagerly awaiting final testing.
-->'''Fallen Prime:''' Cunting Aperture...
* "No, Michael, you were in hell. You were in the hell that was human life, the hell that was Earth."
-->'''Waterpear:''' And now you're in the hell that is "Ten Minutes: Aftermath."
-->'''Fallen Prime:''' "It was remarkably difficult to find a princess-sized soapbox, so I hope you appreciate my speech."
-->'''Cola:''' If a goddess cannot make a soapbox sufficiently stable to support her goddessy frame, then why do we call her goddess?
-->'''Dark Angel:''' Actually, she did make one that could support her frame. The problem is that the said goddess has a weakness for chocolate cake.
-->'''Ringmaster:''' "The Hell That Was Human Life" sounds more like an emo album than something that should ever come out of the mouth of a cartoon pony.
-->'''Neo:''' And yet here we stand.
-->'''Steel:''' And here we read. I think we all feel less human for it. ...I didn't actually mean to make that joke, OH GOD THEY'RE CONVERTING ME!
* "Michael had heard enough. 'Just tell me what you want me to do to end this.' He meant it. Anything."
-->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]:''' Well, first you hit the backspace key. Then, you don't stop.
-->'''RJ:''' After that, open up the command prompt and type format c:/ and hit enter.
-->'''Ringmaster:''' [[SerialEscalation Then, just to be safe, take your computer and toss it out the nearest second-story window.]]
-->'''[=SC276=]:''' Make it third, just to be safe.
-->'''Cola:''' Not enough. The author would still have the ending in their memory. Follow the computer out the window! It's the only way to be sure.
* "Those were not the actions of a robot without free will."
-->'''Waterpear:''' Yes, by programming a robot to pause before it does your bidding, you too can create a machine that passes the Turing Test.
-->'''Axel Nyan:''' For only 52 easy payments of 499.99$, you too can own your very own lifelike robot!~ Guaranteed to pass any test!
-->'''Steel:''' Give it your homework! Tell it a joke! [[BreadEggsMilkSquick Order it to end all mankind!]] We guarantee success in any and all operations!
-->'''Sigma:''' These characters are about as free as fucking Bonzi Buddy.
-->'''Ringmaster:''' Chat had that on her computer, [[EvenEvilHasStandards but it uninstalled itself after it saw her stories]].
* ""My stallion! You made it! It's so good to see you!" It was Tank, now a fine stallion."
-->'''Sigma:''' I thought Tank was a tortoise.
-->'''Cola:''' Wrong Tank. I got a little confused on that too. *offers a handy chart*
-->'''Ringmaster:''' Are you sure this chart is right? [[MadnessMantra It's just the word "fuck" repeated over and over again]] [[RoomFullOfCrazy in very small print on every inch of the paper.]]
-->'''Cola:''' *nods solemnly* It's right. Trust me.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:My Life in MLP / The Search Of Equestia]]
* This part, after an introduction to the fics is given.
--> '''[=Maud=]''': Did I also mention that the author posted thirteen chapters as a single chapter? Because he did. [[AndThatsTerrible And that's terrible]].
* From "My Life in MLP"
** Cola's [[RunningGag increasingly]] severe reactions to the RougeAnglesOfSatin.
** "'don't worry i'll be fine.'"
---> '''Fallen Prime:''' This reassurance brought to you by the National [[TemptingFate Fate Temptation]] Committee.
---> '''Steel:''' Major donators are {{Foreshadowing}} Inc., [[{{VideoGame/Portal}} Aperture Science]] and The World Association For Pony Societies.
---> '''[=TopherRiffs=]''': And the support of [[ViewersLikeYou readers like you]]. Thank you.
---> '''[=Crazy56U=]:''' [[MoodWhiplash She dies at the end, doesn't she...]]
** "'[H]ey there!' said [[RougeAnglesOfSatin fiendly]] voice."
--->'''[=RJ=]''': (overly happy) Hey there new neighbor! We're having a potluck block party next week, it'd be a pip if you could come! [[MoodWhiplash I'll be kidnapping you all afterwards for some evil plot!]] Oh, and it's BYOB! See ya there!
** "Over the next few days Andy showed me around the collage and the city."
---> '''Sigma:''' He then [[StuffBlowingUp exploded]], for Andy was secretly... [[WebAnimation/RedVsBlue a BOMB]].
---> '''Topher:''' [[InsistentTerminology Andy prefers the term "Explosive American."]]
** "after words i just talked mumbo jumbo"
---> '''[=SC276=]:''' "This not [[VideoGame/BanjoKazooie bear and bird world]]. Mumbo took {{wrong turn at Albuquerque}}."
---> '''Ringmaster:''' Wow, he actually managed to end up [[TakeThat somewhere worse than]] ''Nuts & Bolts''.
** And then the [[{{Lemon}} sex scene]] happened.
---> '''Sigma:''' Fallen, get the sawblades.
---> '''Fallen Prime:''' Mine. Not sharing.
---> '''Maud:''' HEY GUYS, REMEMBER WHEN I SAID THIS WAS RATED "M"?
---> '''Sigma:''' Remember how I said ''WITH A FORK?''
---> '''Something:''' (drives in with a forklift) GLIMGLAM YOUR TIME OF RECKONING IS HERE. HOW DO YOU PLEAD.
---> '''Maud:''' I plead the fifth.
---> '''Sigma:''' You're Canadian. GUILTY!
---> '''Something:''' YOU ARE SENTENCED TO MAXIMUM FORKLIFT. (runs forklift straight into Glimo's brain)
* From "The Search Of Equestia"
** The very first "sentence."
---> My story begin with a 16 year old boy the boy name is David and I have crap live nobody want to be friend and the school year wasn't best at the time after was over I walked home when I got home my uncle came over hi David how was your day?
----> '''Sigma:''' ...Oh. [[ThisIsGonnaSuck This is gonna be one of those days, isn't it.]]
----> '''Something:''' Where you don't wanna wake up? (flies away for realsies this time)
----> '''Maud:''' [[Music/TheEagles You can check-out anytime you want, but you can never leave...]]
----> '''[=SC276=]:''' ''Already I want to kill someone.''
----> '''[=Crazy56U=]:''' I... I feel like I made a mistake coming back...
*** By the end of chapter 1, the story is completely incomprehensible.
----> '''[=SC276=]:''' ...OK, I've completely lost track of the plot. Something about Pinkie and Rainbow and... signs or something? Augh, it can't be a seven-year-old that wrote it, half the words would be misspelled then.
----> '''Ringmaster:''' What about a 6-year-old with a really good spellcheck program?
----> '''[=SC276=]:''' Fanfic writers, use spellcheck? Have you seen the ''last'' fic?
----> '''Ringmaster:''' ...Point taken.
----> '''Cola:''' Wait! I understand now. I understand. This was the ''rough draft'' of the previous fic. That's the only explanation I'm willing to live with, because if two different people can write ''shit'' this ''fucking incoherent'' then no, no, the world is not a place I'm willing to live any more.
----> '''[=Crazy56U=]:''' All I know is that I'm lost, scared, and confused. Mostly scared.
** Due to being introduced as a "[[RougeAnglesOfSatin cinema]]," Discord is interpreted as an evil movie theater that only shows ''Film/TheRoom2003'', ''[[Film/Birdemic2TheResurrection Birdemic II]]'', and (after mutating) ''Film/CutthroatIsland''.
** Ring, for the first and only time, covers the second name of the protagonist of "The Search Of Equestia" with white text due to how stupid it is. How stupid? The protagonist is [[VideoGame/MetalGear Solid Snake]].
---> '''[=SC276=]:''' *''[[SpitTake SPITS OUT ORANGE JUICE]]''* ''[[WesternAnimation/TheAmazingWorldOfGumball WHAT THE WHAT?!]]''
---> '''RJ:''' '''!'''
---> '''Ringmaster:''' A good amount of the reason I put this fic up here was just so I could show you all... that.
---> '''[=SC276=]:''' THE GUY'S THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE! HE DOES ''NOTHING'' STEALTHY OR BADASS! HE SPENT THE FINAL BATTLE KNOCKED OUT, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!!
---> '''Cola:''' You. Are. Fuck. Ing. Shit. Ting. Me.
---> '''Topher:''' This tweest brought to you by M. Night Shamallamadingdong.
---> '''[=Crazy56U=]:''' (in pain) ... ''...this is why we can't have nice things...''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:A Beautiful But Scary Effect]]
* "Everypony, even those who hated him, will come to love him."
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Reaper] "([[WesternAnimation/SpongebobSquarepants sporting Muscle Arms]]) Now I'm a jerk, and everypony loves me!"
-->'''Topher''': IRON WILL APPROVES OF THIS COMMENT!
* "The Power Of Love were crafted so perfectly,"
-->'''Ringmaster''': Eh, it's nice, but if we're talking [[Music/HueyLewisAndTheNews Huey Lewis]] hits I still prefer ''[[Film/BackToTheFuture1 Back in Time]]''.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''Hip to Be Square'' is more my jam, what with its claustrophobic music video and tendency to [[Film/AmericanPsycho get people named Paul killed]]...
-->'''[=Sven=]''': The line ''♫ Make a one man weep ♫'' seems rather fitting.
* "I stomped my hoof once and the fool jolts back to consciousness. He gasped as he came to."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': These are not vampire powers. These are like demigod powers. Or Discord powers. I'm not engaged, I'm just confused and angry.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ...okay, no, you can't change my mind; [[CharacterDeath Reaper was, in fact, dead.]] Ice Star just [[BackFromTheDead brought him back to life]]. [[FridgeHorror Necromancy is now canon in this story.]]
* "Her mane is also yellow. Now on to the one I don't know."
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (fed up) Would you please, ''please'', just give a SHIT ABOUT THE AUDIENCE?!
-->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': If that was a thing, 80% of these pony fics wouldn't exist. (tries not to cry)
** "She is an earth pony with a dark brown mane with a few light yellow strips. Her coat is a light brown color and she seems like a strong earth pony. Now I believe I have explained everything and I hope your small mind can hold that info."
--->'''[=SC276=]''': No, because I won't ever need any info like this in my life ever. And I'm a packrat.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ... (screams in rage)
--->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': Hey, look at it this way! ...[[BrickJoke you made some really good eggs for breakfast]][[DamnedByFaintPraise --that counts, right?]]
* Moral time!
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': I think we all learned an important lesson here, today. [[LostAesop And that is... ... ...]]
-->'''Sven''': [[SpoofAesop Uh, don't talk to a vampony, because she'll make you wear glasses that make all the other characters fall in love with you, including your own brother?]]
-->'''[=SC276=]''': ''Close enough!''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:The Ponyville Curse]]
* After the computer supposedly magically downloads Windows Media Player:
-->Hey! It's one less program I have to download!
--->'''Sigma''': Ignorance is indeed bliss.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': You poor deluded fool... [[TakeThat Everyone knows VLC is better...]]
--->'''Sigma''': OI! Media Player Classic!
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': I will ''[[CavemenVsAstronautsDebate fight you in the street]]''.
* "Imagine Flippy from WebAnimation/HappyTreeFriends when he flips out and replace the white with the blue."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': I am, and it looks ''nothing'' like what you described earlier. Double-checking now in case my memory is failing me... Oh, the ''irises were'' yellow. I... would not call Flippy's irises yellow. Well, not ''yellow'' yellow, more of a dark yellow YES I AM STALLING FOR TIME.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Keep stalling, please? ...''please''?
-->'''[=SC276=]''': I CAN ONLY THINK OF SO MUCH TO TYPE.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': GIBBERISH! ''JUST TYPE GIBBERISH''!
* "This was awful to look at. Would you find it horrible if you saw a dead child brutally murdered somehow?"
-->'''Ringmaster''': I mean, I have at least 600 hours total in the ''[[VideoGame/TheBindingOfIsaac Binding of Isaac]]'' series, so...
-->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': Why didn't this guy---oh, I don't know---call the police about this?!
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Did the Internet Police even ''exist'' in 2012?
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Insert [[VideoGame/FiveNightsAtFreddys FNAF]] joke here.
-->'''Trekker''': [[[VideoGame/FiveNightsAtFuckboys Freddy Fuckboy]]] "[[ExactWords inhale my dong enragement child]]"
* "The order they were in from closest to furthest was Spike, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie and finally Fluttershy."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Who even remembers that kind of detail?!
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Ask the narrator of "[[VideoGame/SonicExe Sonic.EXE]]".
-->'''Sigma''': [[TakeThat Yeah, sure, after I get cancer.]]
* "According to our research,"
-->'''[=SC276=]''': "-which we won't elaborate on here, since it's scientifically impossible to perform-"
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': "[[TakeThat which is just the words 'Fuck this story.' repeated for 15 pages,]]"
* [=Crazy56U=]'s [[SanitySlippage mental breakdown]] during Spike's evil monologue. Ever wonder why [[SelfServingMemory he keeps insisting this riff never happened]]? Now you do.
** "And all his illness and injuries? He did those himself."
--->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': [Spike] "The big guy even tried to pin me with the sledgehammer incident. What a kook!"
--->'''[=SC276=]''': The author literally just tried to make a creepypasta out of ''WebAnimation/HappyTreeFriends''' "Double Whammy" two-parter and paint MLP on it. ...I've seen worse.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Oh my God, you are! You ARE ripping off "Film/FightClub"! WHAT IS THIS?!
--->'''Fallen Prime''': If either of you are right, then the twist is... this was secretly a crossover.
** "I'm suprised he hadn't killed himself doing so! He would also search up and download viruses too."
--->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': [[TheInternetIsForPorn No, that's called looking up porn.]]
--->'''Scarlet''': Based on documents eleven and twelve, he was producing that just fine on his own.
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [[FridgeLogic ...wait, if it's Wingdings, wouldn't decoding just be changing the font?]]
--->'''Scarlet''': .....In a manner of speaking, yes.
--->'''Fallen Prime''': GODDAMMIT I TRUSTED YOU.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Okay, no, I HIGHLY DOUBT his schizophrenia would make him do that [[ARareSentence dear GOD what is this making me type?!]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:A Friendship Broken by Loyalty]]
* Right off the bat:
-->'''Ringmaster''': It's the second user-voted one shot, and you guys picked... a Rainbow Factory fan-prequel. ''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck Yay.]]''
* "They were also saying really mean things about me."
-->'''Scarlet''': "Not bad, Dash! If you keep it up you might almost be ''average!''"
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (tears up notecard; bitter) Nice job stealing the math joke, friend...
-->'''Dark Angel''': Well, you could make a joke like she was only performing at 20%... oh, sorry.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (tears up another notecard; more bitter) [[SarcasmMode Yeah... I bet you are...]]
* "I walked up to them and said, "Is that really what you think about me, A LAUGHABLE FAILURE!?'"
-->'''Sigma''': [[BluntYes Yes.]]
-->'''Ferret''': That was almost too easy.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Well, really, there's no other answer...
-->'''Dark Angel''': [[AskAStupidQuestion Was that a trick question?]]
* "Now Rainbow dash, darling, we didn't mean any harm. To be honest it WAS Pinkie pie who started it."
-->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': Plot twist: Rainbow is talking to [[CallBack the rag dolls from the creepy-pasta a few riffs back.]]
-->'''Scarlet''': Plot twists are supposed to be ''unexpected''.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (eye begins twitching; grabs head) ''[-W-why would you remind me of that...-]''
* "I can't believe you all; there isn't anything magical about cracking insulting jokes about your friend behind her back!"
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ...did Rainbow just insult ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}''?
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Baron Silver]]
* The early part of the riff has a RunningGag where the [[WhiteVoidRoom riff place]] keeps getting [[IncendiaryExponent set on fire]].
** [A]nd the grass was wet with morning dew.
--->'''[=SC276=]''': Given how last night went, [[DoubleEntendre probably some other things as well.]]\\
'''[=Crazy56U=]''' ''[[KillItWithFire ...someone needs to burn the grass...]]''\\
'''Topher''': [[AxCrazy *lights a molotov cocktail* On it!]] *throws the molotov cocktail, which shatters against the fourth wall, setting half the riff... um... place on fire*
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[CallBack (on fire) AGAIN?!]] ''REALLY?!?!''
--->'''[=SC276=]''': *grabs a fire extinguisher and starts spraying down the fire* [[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe We're not even past the opening paragraph yet, are you kidding me?!]]
---> '''Dark Angel''': That's what you get when flamers become riffers.
** "Twilight would get up to care for him when he woke up; being after all he is still only a baby dragon."
--->'''Scarlet''': The mark of a true editor is knowing exactly which sentences deserve to be murdered for taking up too much space in the story. Would someone please pass me my corkscrew?
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (using corkscrew as a toothpick) In a sec...
--->'''Topher''': You want I should make another molotov?
--->'''[=SC276=]''': If you set this place on fire again, I'm finding another use for this extinguisher.
--->'''Dark Angel''': I'm going to go back to my previous comment on this. Is that a threat or some kind of fetish?
--->'''Topher''': I'm going to go back to my previous answer. yes.
** [[KickTheDog Eventually, the fire department stops responding to calls.]]
* Spike looking up information about the creature he saw is referred to as him looking up the [[{{Franchise/Pokemon}} Pokédex]].
-->Spike had found it, but he was only able to find one monster that could fit the description of the thing Spike had seen.
--->'''Scarlet''': And sadly, he was unable to find its type weaknesses or what routes it was most easily encountered on.
--->'''Topher''': Was it one of those promotional event-trade only monsters then?
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (pulls out a [=3DS=]) My bet's on it being a Mystery Gift...
* "The book stated that 'It has been thought that Discord had scared away all of these creatures, for they were a peaceful kind'."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Given we know what's coming up... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAA.
-->'''Scarlet''': As I'm blind riffing as per my usual M.O., I'll just prepare myself for a prime slice of delicious stupid.
-->'''Dark Angel''': I'm always blind riffing, so we're in the same boat. Considering where that boat is taking us though, we might as well be sinking faster than the titanic.
-->'''Topher''': Yeah, whoever wrote this must have been pretty dumb if he thought humans were peaceful creatures. I mean come on, I murder people for no reason other than for shits and giggles! (Shoots SC in the head) And I'd say I'm a pretty typical human.
-->'''Dark Angel''': I consider myself as a protector. But I'd consider ''myself'' as a typical human...or was that inhuman?
-->'''[=SC276=]''': You are so lucky I have a hard head.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (pulls the bullet out of [=SC276=]'s head) ...I'm not a doctor, but shouldn't that still hurt?
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Like you would not believe. Thankfully, over four years of riffing have given me ample time to learn how to scream internally.
* "About 2 hours later, Twilight came home and saw that the book was open on the floor, open to the page about humans."
-->'''Scarlet''': You know, the point of a plot twist is to ''[[TheUntwist make sure it's unexpected]]''.
-->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': (spit take) Oh come on!
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': "Included was a plot summary of ''[[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyEquestriaGirls Equestria Girls]]''. [[TakeThat Twilight promptly lit the book on fire.]]"
-->'''Dark Angel''': *pushes speed dial* Hey it's me aga-...Pizza Hut? Wrong speed dial...I'd like to order a large pizza with pepperoni and jalapenos...
-->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': (chuckles) Whenever I see someone complain about EG--or Muffins being a canon name-- I always think of [[WebComic/{{Sonichu}} Chris-chan's reaction to Sonic's arms being blue.]] [[TakeThat Not sure why.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[TranquilFury A)]] I actually like ''Equestria Girls'', [[SarcasmFailure I was just making a stupid joke.]] B) '''''[[RageBreakingPoint HOW DARE YOU COMPARE ME TO CHRIS CHAN!!!!]]''''' (punches you in the face... repeatedly)
-->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': [[PunctuatedPounding I wasn't--ow!--talking about--ow!--you, I was--ow!--making a--blerg!]] (falls to the ground in a heap) Ugh... (bumbling) [[WesternAnimation/EdEddNEddy If anyone finds teeth laying around, they're mine...]]
-->'''[[RougeAnglesOfSatin Toper]]''': Too late! They're going in the jar! *pulls out a jar full of human teeth, starts scanning the floor*
* "Twilight Sparkle made sure Spike did not tell anyone about what he read,"
-->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': I bet he's been reading fanfiction.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''Poor damn fool...''
* In this riff in particular, [=Crazy56U=] was not in the mood to deal with discussions on the show's canon.
-->Maybe he is in the Everfree forest?
--->'''Scarlet:''' God damn it that's even worse! Your survival instinct has been exceeded by ten year olds! I just had to ''downsize my mason jar!''
--->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]:''' If Applejack, Apple Bloom and Zecora can handle the forest like nothing, then so can Twilight. It's not like she hasn't done that before at all.
--->'''Scarlet''': Cockatrice. Those vines with knockout dust.
--->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': You mean those things that happened once? I doubt Twilight is going to stare into the eyes of a snake chicken again anytime soon. ''If you know what I mean~''
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': OI! ''What did I say about discussions?!'' (slams Scarlet and Glitch's heads together, [[Film/TheThreeStooges Three Stooges style]])
--->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': Certainly! Whoop, whoop, whoop, nyuk, nyuk!
--->'''Scarlet''': You don't own me. But you have caused me pain. I shall now cry. *sobs in corner*
--->'''Dark Angel''': Of all riffs I could've taken part of, I get stuck with the Three Stooges of riffing.
* "[H]e turned to Scootaloo and said 'Do you know what Rainbow Dash's favorite breakfast is?'"
-->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': ''[[MoodWhiplash *image of Scooatloo looking directly at the viewer with the caption "MURDER"*]]''
-->'''[=SC276=]''': [[ActuallyPrettyFunny *collapses laughing*]] OK, Glitch, that was pretty good.
-->'''Fallen Prime''': [[PetTheDog Glitch wins the Riff of the Week Award. The prize is a cookie.]]
* With the OC named what he is, Ringmaster handles the ObligatoryJoke.
-->It would take some getting used to for Silver to eat the hay food.
--->'''Scarlet''': Author, you do realize that pasta is made from grain, right? Like, as in, vegetarian? Author? Hello? A- right he's not listening.
--->'''Ringmaster''': One could almost say... [[VideoGame/SonicTheHedgehog2006 it's no use]].
--->'''[=SC276=]''': Are you going to just keep doing that joke the ''entire story''?
--->'''Ringmaster''': Hey, if I don't make them, ''someone'' will.
--->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': Wish ''I'' said it.
* And then the [[{{Lemon}} sex scene]] happened, and then right after Silver gets off-
-->Chapter 10
--->'''[=SC276=]''': ...That's it? It's over? Just... like that? No post-coital cuddles or anything?
--->'''Ringmaster''': SC, don't you get what just happened there?
--->'''[=SC276=]''': The most boring mating scene ever?
--->'''Ringmaster''': Close. The author finished, [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall and so did the chapter.]]
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [[FridgeBrilliance ...Ah.]]
--->'''Scarlet''': [[ActuallyPrettyFunny *applause*]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:The Enemy of My Enemy]]
* [=Crazy56U=] referencing "Fat Bottom Girls" every time Chrysalis calls Celestia a "fat ass."
** Similarly, [=SC276=] waiting for the liquid love to splash onto someone and start an orgy.
* "She positioned herself to ensure she could break up an argument or all-out fight if Chrysalis, Shining, or Cadance turned aggressive."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': But everyone knows that [[VideoGame/FiveNightsAtFreddys4 if you look at the bed for too long, Foxy gets you.]]
-->'''Lord Shaxx''': (peeks in closet) Aww, what a cute stuffed fox-[[OhCrap OH MY F*** GOD!]]
-->'''Topher''': [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness (slams closet shut)]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (opens closet) ...guys, [[ComicallyMissingThePoint you're freaking out over a stuffed toy]]... (picks it up) See? Look, it's even missing its head, calm down...
-->'''Dark Angel''': (looks in closet) Where'd this creepy looking [[http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/the-tails-doll Tails doll]] come from?
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (closes closet) That's enough of that, now...
* ""Oh, has the great and powerful Queen Chrysalis never seen liquid love before?""
-->'''Scarlet:''' Aaaand here's where my calling bullshit on Celestia having no idea what the magical nature of this stuff is comes into play. Also, because I want dibs: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdhRwADrkYA What]] ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdhRwADrkYA is]]'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdhRwADrkYA love?]]
-->'''Dark Angel:''' Well, if you're calling dibs on that reference, just remember that Lovebutt is trying to explain that [[https://youtu.be/x9_vhYpR9xo All You Need is Love]]. I just want [[https://youtu.be/Se5JLYKQfDU Lovely Rita]] to [[https://youtu.be/cOVfmJNT3Vs Love Me Do]].
-->'''[=SC276=]:''' I'd say "baby don't hurt me," but this fic hurts.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]:''' Well, according to [[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brian-finkelstein/love-is-a-myth_b_5636392.html some hack named Finkelstein]], love is a myth...
-->'''RJ:''' [Chrysalis] Yeah, while you were in the caves your husband sprayed his 'liquid love' in my fac~
---> [Shining] I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT SHE IS TALKING ABOUT.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]:''' (gag) ...aw, fuck... (pukes on RJ's shoes)
* "Her words became more hurried, as if sputtering them out faster would let her escape."
-->'''[=SC276=]:''' Wait, does that work? QUICK, EVERYONE, RIFF FASTER!
-->'''Topher:''' (inhales mightily) [[MotorMouth OkIllgoasfastasIcan]]sexjokereferencewittyremarkstatementwithdisturbingimplicationsaboutmyownsanityandprobablesociopathicnature (whips out a machine gun and unloads an entire clip ino Scarlet's head) Weanyclosertobeingdone?
-->'''Scarlet:''' No, and now you've forced me to resurrect so many times in a row that I spontaneously dragged a hellhound back with me. On the bright side, I have a new pet dog! Scruffy will have a friend!
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]:''' ... [[AsideGlance (turns and looks towards the reader)]] ...your guess is as good as mine, I don't know...
* "That one dragon was staring at Chrysalis. She could feel its gaze even though it had no eyes. That one dragon had a murderous intent ten times any of its fellows, and every drop of that aggression was focused on her."
--> '''Scarlet:''' Please say he eats her. Please. It would be a mercy.
--> '''[=SC276=]:''' Kinky.
--> '''[=Crazy56U=]:''' '''''[[PaintingTheMedium Why do you want vore in this?!]]'''''
--> '''Scarlet:''' Not so much vore as the sweet release of death. For them, not me. I gave that up a long time ago.
--> '''Dark Angel:''' [[CrossingTheLineTwice And besides, insects are high in protein.]]
* Celestia comes into the final battle and manages to get knocked out near immediately.
--> '''Scarlet:''' ''THE UNBRIDLED STRENGTH OF THE SUN.'' *sighs and returns to munching popcorn*
--> '''[=SC276=]:''' [[ItMakesSenseInContext Well she already unleashed the power of the sun, so she's just down to the 5% juice right now.]]
--> '''[=Crazy56U=]:''' Celestia's magic works the same way an iPhone battery works: from full to dead in a matter of minutes.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Cupcakes: Creepypasta Edition]]
* [[BlatantLies The riff gets off to a promising start.]]
-->'''Fallen Prime''': [[OhCrap Oh, fuck no.]]
-->'''Ringmaster''': It's the 1st of the month, so by now you should all know what that means.
-->'''Fallen Prime''': [[TranquilFury Ring, I hate you.]]
-->'''Ringmaster''': I was hoping you would elaborate that the 1st of the month is always shitty short fics from 2012 posted on Fanfiction.net about horrible human OCs, but that works too.
-->'''Fallen Prime''': I WAS gonna do that, but then I saw what the title of this one was. How. How and why.
* "but it was better than watching some infomercial on every other channel,"
-->'''Scarlet''': I suppose this was written after Adult Swim stopped airing re-runs of Cowboy Bebop.
-->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': Why didn't he just go to [=YouTube=]? I'm assuming he doesn't have Netflix, but he obviously has internet.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': He just didn't want to be tormented by ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_SwD7RveNE this]]'' [[TakeThat manufactured horror...]]
-->'''Topher''': Of all the things I have experienced... bloody battles, rooms full of eviscerated corpses, people burning alive [[ButForMeItWasTuesday (and that was just a normal Tuesday for me)]]... [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness This is the first time I'm horrified.]] I... I can't stay on this earth anymore. [[DrivenToSuicide *shoots himself in the forehead*]]
-->'''Dark Angel''': [[NoSell He won't be gone that long.]]
-->'''Topher''': [[TheyKilledKennyAgain (sits up) Wow! Three seconds! That's the longest I've ever been dead!]]
** For the record, what's the one thing that not even ''[[EvenEvilHasStandards Topher]]'' can handle? [[NotSoDire The "HeadOn" commercial.]]
* Apparently, the Narrator wasn't to interest in watching reruns of ''Series/LaverneAndShirley''.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Well, truth be told, if he had to choose between "Fanfic/{{Cupcakes|SergeantSprinkles}}" and Laverne and Shirley... [[TakeThat ...actually, no, he should've stuck with Laverne and Shirley...]]
-->'''Dark Angel''': It's the lesser of two evils... [[DamnedByFaintPraise though not by much.]]
* Behold: ThirdPersonPerson run amok.
-->The camera was on Dash, who was laughing nervously and protesting with Pinkie, saying that it was all a joke and other ponies would find her.
--->'''Scarlet''': The riff returned to Scarlet, who grew bored of repackaged horrorfic which lacks all the flair and controlled mood of the original story.
--->'''Lord Shaxx''': Lord Shaxx promptly took back his microphone so he could continue announcing the Crucible.
--->'''Dark Angel''': At the witness of this massacre of a somewhat decent horrorfic, Dark Angel saw a gun on the table and was considering shooting himself. When he finally made the choice to end it, [[BungledSuicide he found that it was just a water gun.]]
--->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': [[SurprisinglyCreepyMoment The last thing NaturalGlitch saw was his alarm clock flashing 12:07 before she pushed her long rotting nails through his chest, her other hand muffling his screams. He sat bolt upright, relieved it was only a dream, but as he saw his alarm clock read 12:06, he heard his closet door creak open.]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [=Crazy56U=] [[UnfazedEveryman nonchalantly grabbed a tissue from a nearby tissue box so he could blow his nose,]] [[AsYouKnow as he still had a cold at the time of explaining this.]] (honk) [[SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud He then typed out the sound effect of him blowing his nose,]] [[LampshadeHanging because he's weird like that.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Spirit of Hearth's Warming Eve Shorts]]
* Right off the bat:
-->'''Ringmaster''': [[SarcasmMode Good job everyone,]] [[EpicFail we got zero submissions in the right wordcount range in time for the second sampler.]]
-->'''Fallen Prime''': [[SarcasmMode This is my applause face.]]
* From "Short 1: The Perfect Gift":
** "The Hearth's Warming Eve was here,"
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (deadpan) [[YouMeanXmas Don't you mean Christmas?]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': 'Christ... mas?' What is this... 'Christmas' you speak of?
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[ArtisticLicenseHistory It's the day Santa Claus gave birth to Jesus Christ, obviously,]] [[InsaneTrollLogic that's why we celebrate with presents and commercialism.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Thank you; [[{{Squick}} the image of a man giving birth will keep me cold tonight.]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[SchmuckBait You asked for it.]]
** "At Ponyville; Twilight, Spike [[FanFic/PastSins and Nyx]] were walking down the street."
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Given the weird ass prose and the shameless cribbing from "Past Sins", I wouldn't be surprised if it turned out that Power Master is friends with [[FanFic/CurseOfTheDemonPony JusSonic]]...
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Ah, crap; it's a Nyx story... [[FailedASpotCheck That's what I get for not reading the opening.]]
--->'''Ringmaster''': It wouldn't be an [=F/F/T3K=] Holiday Special without copious amounts of regret.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (pained) Fa-la-la-la-laaa, la-la-la-laaaa...
*** "They looked on both sides as they were searching and looking for something important gift for Shadow Dragon."
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[TemptingFate ...I swear to God, if turns out that I'm right...]]
---->'''Ringmaster''': [[KickTheDog Oh, hey,]] [[https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/303856/beginning-of-my-little-pony-work turns out you are.]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (pained) O-oh... J-joy... (eyes begin bleeding)
** "As they continued walking, they were greeted by Ponyville Citizens."
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': And they were armed with pitchforks and torches. [[TakeThat Clearly they took advantage of the Black Friday sales...]] [[SidetrackedByTheAnalogy ...wait]], fuck, ''does'' Equestria have Black Friday?
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Black ''Magic'' Friday, yes.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Great, now I'm imaging [[Literature/HarryPotterAndTheDeathlyHallows the Battle of Hogwarts]], [[CrackFic but done inside a Walmart over cheap deals.]]
--->'''[=JofY=]''': "I summon the great TV that is of terrible quality and I'm only buying because it's 20% off! Slay my enemies! I command it!"
--->'''[=SC276=]''': OK, let's read ''that'' fic instead.
--->'''Scarlet''': Fools. The true power of Black Friday comes through the human suffering of those who worked it. Actually, it's a ritual designed to revitalize the powers of dark magic held every year.
--->'''[=SC276=]''': Dammit, now I'm regretting that I stayed at home instead of going to the local Target that day to watch the chaos.
** "'Speaking of gifts, where are daddy and Lance? I haven't seen them since this morning,' Nyx asked."
--->'''[=Ringmaster=]''': [[OhCrap Oh fuck, Lance? Please don't be the one I'm thinking of, please don't be the one I'm thinking of...]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ..."Series/{{Arrow}}"-Lance, I take it? ...I mean, I haven ''seen'' "Arrow" yet, only the "[[Series/TheFlash2014 Flash]]" spinoff, but...
--->'''[=Ringmaster=]''': No, this is ponyfic we're talking about, I mean the one from *shudder* Living the Dream.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': I... ''think'' I know that one... [[CallBack ...did some OC fuck Rainbow in that, and they had a child?]]
--->'''[=Ringmaster=]''': No, Rainbow TRIED to fuck the OC, [[NotGoodWithRejection then murdered him (accidentally) when he rejected her]].
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[StunnedSilence ...well, then.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Yeah, the papers called her "[[ObligatoryJoke The Twenty-Percent Killer]]."
--->'''Scarlet''': I'm just going to hold out hope that Rainbow's actually dating [[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} the Elite 4 member]].
--->'''[=SC276=]''': Talk about Bad Dragon...
** When Shadow Dragon is threatening the villain to stop his evil ways:
--->"Stealing the jewel is one thing, but kidnapping the child is unforgivable. If I ever see you tried to held hostage, I'll be coming for you!"
---->'''[=Scarlet=]''': Yeah! If you ever try to be held hostage, you won't escape the wrath of Shadow Dragon!
* From Short 2: "Apple Treats"
** "He had some sweats shedding out from his body as he continued cooking the Apple Treat."
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[RunningGag ™.]]
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [[MadLibsCatchPhrase Apple Treat Apple Treat, Apple Treat. Apple Treat? Apple Treat!]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[BorrowedCatchphrase ™ ™, ™. ™? ™!]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:The Shining Sabre / The New Bearer / The Arrival]]]]
* From "The Shining Sabre":
** Sabre has an ImaginationBasedSuperpower. You'd ''think'' he'd go for [[WhyDontYouJustShootHim the easier solution]].
--->I again lit up my horn making a spear this time, and lunged.
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[{{Angrish}} Gun! Make a gun! Shoot her!]] ''[[{{Angrish}} Shoot! GUN!]]'' [[AC:''[[RageBreakingPoint GUN!]]'']]
---->'''[=JofY=]''': *shoots [=Crazy56U=]* [[ComicallyMissingThePoint ...is that what you wanted?]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ([[UnexplainedRecovery rubs head in pain]]) No, but thank you, I needed that...
---->'''[=Topher=]''': Would shooting you again help?
*** It gets worse:
---->She dodged grabbed a hatchet and swung I blocked it, and through my spear at her she smacked it away with her hatchet.
----->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': You see, Sabre? That could've been avoided if you would just ''[[WhyDontYouJustShootHim shoot her with the gun that]] [[AC:[[WhyDontYouJustShootHim YOU CAN EASILY MAKE!]]]]''
----->'''[=JofY=]''': [[JerkassHasAPoint Okay, I'm going to actually have to sightly argue that he may not be able to do it.]]
----->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ...if he can sword and spear, ''HE CAN GUN''.
----->'''[=JofY=]''': [[FridgeLogic Can he also bullet? What about gunpowder? Furthermore, he may not even know what a gun is. It's not like gu-]]
----->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (legitimately angry) [[AC:''[[RageBreakingPoint STOP TRYING TO JUSTIFY THIS BEING DRAGGED ON LONGER!]]'']]
----->'''[=JofY=]''': [--...sorry. It's just my job.--]
----->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': And anyway, the real question is "[[HowDoIShotWeb Can he shot web?]]"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:The Discord.EXE Trilogy]]
* Ring had such a hard time trying to find something to riff for the start of 2016 that he just grabbed something at random off of [=FFNet=].
-->'''Ringmaster''': Anyway, Fallen, what came to mind when I first linked you this?
-->'''Fallen Prime''': Other than "why" and "fuck you?"
-->'''Ringmaster''': I was more specifically referring to the whole "IT'S A GIANT WALL OF TEXT" bit.
* From "[=DiscordExe=]":
** The main reason why the Author wrote this story is because he hated Website/{{Facebook}}. [[SarcasmMode Not that you can tell.]]
--->Facebook has the most unhelpful ways to get back your account after being blocked.
---->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': They're actually doing you a ''favour'' but be as angry as you wish.
---->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': So this is pretty much VideoGame/SonicExe [[RecycledINSPACE just with a different character?]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ...so, does this mean you're going to rip off "Film/{{Unfriended}}" then?
--->Especially fake ones.
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Facebook has ''fake'' ways to get your account back?
---->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': They're like that one kid who doesn't stop trying to sucker punch you.
** "This is the story of how Facebook fell."
--->'''Ringmaster''': Not with a bang, not with a whimper, but with thousands of shitty [[Franchise/DespicableMe Minion]] memes.
--->'''[=SC276=]''': This is the sort of thing that one should write down in a Word document and then ''not'' post on the Internet.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[FailedAttemptAtDrama And already the Author has failed, since Facebook is still up and is still a thing.]] A terrible, terrible thing...
** "It was from [']Discord: The Master of Chaos[']."
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''Wow.'' We're just... we're just going in ''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck raw]]'', aren't we?
--->'''Scarlet''': This author's hardcore.
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Bite the mousepad, I'm going in dry!
** "Against my better judgement, I clicked on the link."
--->'''[=JofY=]''': It showed him how [[JustForFun/{{Rickroll}} he wasn't gonna give you up.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[StealthPun What a let-down.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:A Demon's Love]]
* "Blades also had to outlive his mother."
--->'''[=JofY=]:''' You know, it's not the fact that he's outliving his mother that I enjoy. It's that he HAD to. Like it was a chore or something.
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]:'''
---->[Mama Blades] "Now don't forget to outlive me, dear."
---->[Blood] "Aw, but mooooom..."
* This:
-->One word went through his mind.:
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[PrecisionFStrike And it rhymed with "duck".]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Truck? What an odd thing to think.]]
-->"'Shit!'"
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ...okay, fine, it rhymed with "pit", what you want from me, ''I'm only human!''
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak:=]''' ''I'm not.'' I'm a transformable jet fighter robot. And no, none of you can fly me. Fuck y'all.
* "Then it hit him, the perfect excuse."
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Bobby] "I suddenly have the urge to vomit, where is the bathroom?!"
-->'''[=SC276=]''': [Blades] [[{{VideoGame/Undertale}} "I SUDDENLY HAVE TO GO THE BATHROOM. *leaps out window*"]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[StrangeMindsThinkAlike That's literally the same excuse]], but more shouty. ...so, really, it's more in character for Bobby. Tip of the hat, pal.
* ["]I love all kinds though I am partial to reptiles myself."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Of course you are.
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': He's got a real thing for them. They turn him on. [[{{Pun}} It's a reptile dysfunction if you will.]]
-->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': [[StunnedSilence ...Oh wow.]]
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': ''Yeah'', beeyatch.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[WhatTheHellHero I both hate]] [[ActuallyPrettyFunny and respect you so fucking much right now...]]
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Let me guess: [[SpitTake spit-take]]?
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[FridgeLogic Sudden realization followed by scalding anger.]]
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': What can I say? It was a bolt from the blue; once I thought it, I ''had'' to use it.
* ["]I knew the order was out and that is why I don't trust anything that has demon blood in it! and to now know that this was the one that came so close to killing me, and we trusted you!"
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Allow me to properly recreate the shift in storytelling this just took: ([[https://media.giphy.com/media/k7SqcStoYB1Wo/giphy.gif GIF of]] [[Literature/TheGreatGatsby Myrtle's (1949)]] [[SpecialEffectsFailure death]])
-->'''[=JofY=]''': *[[TheyKilledKennyAgain sees Crazy56U's broken form]]* [[UnfazedEveryman ...I'm not cleaning this up.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': What are you talking about, I'm fin- ([[MindScrew also sees Crazy56U's broken form]]) ''[-...what the fuck is going on anymore...-]''
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Did someone forget to turn off the recursion?
[[/folder]]
[[folder:The Trixieverse I: The Grass is Always Greener]]
* Once Ring and Fallen finished introducing the riff:
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': I'm kinda livid, to be frank. I wanted "Sister Dash" to win, damnit.
-->'''Fallen Prime''': Oh my god. ''[[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe You're the one who fought for this.]]''[[note]]In "An Evening With A Pegasus", [=Crazy56U=] [[{{Irony}} was livid that that fic beat "The Trixieverse I: The Grass Is Always Greener" in a poll to be a riff topic]].[[/note]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''That doesn't mean I wanted it to win!'' Plus, ''[[TheBlindLeadingTheBlind I never read this before]]''! I was going off of title! DON'T JUDGE ME!
* "Anyway thanks for reading. Like and follow. Blah blah blah."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': R&R.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Sorcerer] "Listen, I have a pie in the oven, and I've lost interest in this already, let's just speed along here..."
-->'''[[CreatorCameo Sorcerer]]''': [[SarcasmMode Fantastic impression. Really.]] But if you're going to imitate me, [[SelfDeprecation you need to have terrible grammar and bland storytelling]].
-->'''Dark Angel''': Don't take it personally. [[TakeThat He's just not that good of an actor.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[SelfDeprecation I'd be insulted if that wasn't 100% accurate.]]
* "'Come on Trixie think! Think! Think! Think!'"
-->'''[=SC276=]''': ''I do not think you thought your cunning plan all the way through.''
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': 'Cause when we use our minds, and take a step at a time, we can do anything! ([[WesternAnimation/BluesClues BARK]]) That we wanna do!
-->'''Dark Angel''': I can't tell whether Crazy barked on purpose, [[SanitySlippage or if this fic broke his brain that badly.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[MathematiciansAnswer Yes.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Community Shuffle #3]]
* "The Story of Star Shine Sparkle", after spending [[AuthorFilibuster most of the entire fic]] describing the OC's backstory, [[NoEnding ends right before we actually get the titular story]].
-->"[']And this is my story.'"
--->'''Fallen Prime''': ...what is? Where? There's nothing past this.
--->'''[=Ringmaster=]''': Yep, [[CutShort it's listed as complete]] on [=FiMFic=].
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[SarcasmMode What a heartwarming story, gets at ya right here. (pounds on chest)]]
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [[TakeThat Like a goddamn heart attack.]]
** "WHAT?!!" Twilight Shouted in shock. "You heard me."
--->'''[=JofY=]''': [Twilight] "WHAT?!!"
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Star] "You heard me."
--->'''[=JofY=]''': [Twilight] "[[RunningGag WHAT?!!]]"
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Star] "''[[RuleOfThree YOU HEARD ME.]]''"
--->'''[=JofY=]''': [Twilight] "[[OverlyLongGag ...WHAT!!?]]"
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [Twilight] "OK SERIOUSLY, THIS CROWD CAME OUT OF NOWHERE, I COMPLETELY MISSED IT."
** "You're a fool Twilight, you know that?["]
--->'''[=JofY=]''': A clown! A jester!
--->'''[=SC276=]''': How [[SarcasmMode dare]] she believe in ''science''! Also, a fool's fool etc etc.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Star] "[[Film/Plan9FromOuterSpace You're a stupid mind! Stupid! Stupid!]]"
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [Twilight] "That's all I'm takin' from you!" *decks Star*
--->'''[=Scarlet=]''': [[[Literature/TheLordOfTheRings Gandalf]]] "Fool of a Sparkle!"
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Twilight] "Fuck you, too! ([[DidYouJustPunchOutCthulhu decks Gandalf]])"
--->'''[=Dark Angel=]''': [Star] "Wasn't he talking about me?"
--->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': [Twilight] "I'M GOING TO PUNCH EVERYONE! EVERRRRRYONE!"
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Everyone?
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Flutterbat's Harem]]
* After a relatively short intro:
-->'''Ringmaster, a few minutes later''': Alright, time to paste the fic in, and... [[{{Foreshadowing}} oh.]] Well. That's... quite the way to start the actual story document off. Let's press enter a few times to get that off the first page... and done. [[ThisIsGonnaSuck This is not going to end well.]]
** That thing in question? A horribly terrible looking title card.
--->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': [[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe ...are you]] ''[[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe fucking kidding]]'' [[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe me with this?!]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Hint to Author: ''Don't fucking do this.''
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': '''''[[AC:[[PaintingTheMedium OH GOD]] [[EyeScream MY EYES ARE BLEEDING]]]]'''''
--->'''Mononeko''': It looks like a crappy iPhone app.
* "Disappointed, you returned to gazing forlornly at the water's reflection."
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': "It was at this point that you wished you had some bread to toss in the water. Maybe the ''ducks'' would give you the time of day..."
-->'''[=Mononeko=]''': [Duck] [[InstantlyProvenWrong "Fuck that guy."]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[LateToTheRealization Fuck, right,]] ''that'' would happen, [[WrongGenreSavvy forget I said anything...]]
* At one point, out of despair over being lonely, girlfriendless and desperate, the second-person protagonist decides to [[DrivenToSuicide jump off a bridge]]. However, as he falls:
-->[A]ll inhibitions burned away by the tempting chill that the stream below seduced you with.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': The guy is so fucking desperate that he's resorting to trying to fuck ''water'', [[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe dear God in Heaven...]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:The Mysterious Death of the Wonderbolt Leader]]
* Meta example: Seeing the riffers getting more and more enraged as the fic goes on is pretty hilarious.
** Similarly, seeing the riffers get annoyed with how the story both tries to hide that Spitfire is the culprit... and also ''[[TheUntwist blatantly makes it obvious]]''.
* Given the blatant occurrences of ArtisticLicenseLaw on display, [=Crazy56U=] came up with the (shockingly plausible) theory that Equestria only ''recently'' invented the judicial system in light of Soarin''s death.
** What doesn't help matters is that neither Rainbow Dash ''or'' Trixie know what a lawyer is. Trixie doesn't even know how it's properly spelled.
--->And here she was now, Spitfire's [[RougeAnglesOfSatin loiler]],
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[FalseReassurance That wasn't a spelling error]], Trixie's ''that'' stupid.
---->'''Dark Angel''': Well can you blame her? The word was only invented yesterday.
* "Spitfire took the stand next to Rainbow Dash's."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': I don't think this guy's even watched an ''[[VisualNovel/PhoenixWrightAceAttorney Ace Attorney]]'' playthrough.
-->'''Mononeko''': [[InNameOnly I think this guy has only ever heard of the name of the game.]]
-->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': [[EskimosArentReal I think this guy's only heard of the 'law' in myths and legends.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': I think this guy only wrote this story because of a dare.
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[TakeThat I think this guy is just fucking retarded.]]
-->'''Dark Angel''': [[StatingTheSimpleSolution I think Unknown has the right idea.]]
* At one point, Trixie is brought in to be Spitfire's replacement lawyer after her other one was killed. Except she doesn't have any legal experience [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer and was in fact in the middle of performing.]]
-->["A]nd Trixie was just in the middle of another one of her magic shows!"
--->'''Mononeko''': In the middle of a ''fucking'' courthouse...
--->'''[=SC276=]''': One, if Trixie has no lawyer experience, why did she get the job? Two, who is Twilight to decide that? Three, ''I hate everything''.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': So, in other words:
----->[Trixie] "[[WebAnimation/HomestarRunner Gazemaze in gazemazement]] at the Great and Powerful Tri-"
----->[Twilight Sparkle] "(shouting) Hey you, we need a lawyer, come with me!"
----->[Trixie] "Who the fuck are y- NO, STOP, PUT TRIXIE DOWN!"\\
[Twilight Sparkle] "(carrying Trixie; singing) ''[[WesternAnimation/SnowWhiteAndTheSevenDwarfs Hi-ho, hi-ho, to the courthouse we shall go!]]''"
--->'''Dark Angel''': Why didn't we get to see that instead?!
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': So she was dragged here against her will just like everyone else... That explains a lot. [[VoodooShark Except it doesn't.]]
** "'In case you were wondering,' Twilight told everyone, 'This is Trixie Lulamoon, Spitfire's new lawyer.'
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Twilight Sparkle] "[[InsaneTrollLogic I basically kidnapped her, so it counts.]]"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:better season 5 end]]
* "Starlight Glimmer!"
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': As opposed to Sunset Shimmer, who's currently busy with the plot of ''[[CowboyBebopAtHisComputer Equestria Games]]''.
-->'''[=SC276=]''': ''[[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyEquestriaGirlsFriendshipGames Friendship Games]]''.
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': And [[{{Hypocrite}} you]] criticize people for never watching the show.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''[[TheInsomniac I have been awake for 24 hours, that is my excuse.]]''
* Spike's absence in the story doesn't go unmentioned:
-->'''[=SC276=]''': I miss Spike already.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': We all miss Spike.
-->'''[=Mononeko=]''': [[BrutalHonesty Nope.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[VerbalBackspace Most of us miss Spike.]]
* "'Very well 'Princess Of Friendship',' Starlight said pulling a hoof over Twilight's neck, 'I'll tell you what i want.[']"
-->'''[=Scarlet=]''': Too late to start the sexy sax music?
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izGwDsrQ1eQ IT'S NEVER TOO LATE FOR THE SEXY SAX!]]''
* "N-nothing! Nothing! We uh, were...just exploring! Part of a reven-URNEY Journey!
-->'''[=SC276=]:''' A ''what''?
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]:''' A revenurney journey is when you (makes random mouth noises while making vague hand gestures) and then go home.
-->'''[=ToonGuy=]:''' Huh. I never *makes same gestures and mouth noises* when I go on my revenurney journey. I always *makes slightly different noises and hand gestures* instead. Am I doing it wrong?
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]:''' Nah, that's how they do it in France.
-->'''Mononeko:''' Then what the hell was I doing when I did this? *makes entirely different noises and hand gestures*
-->'''[=SC276=]:''' (GASPS) ''Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?!''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Cupcakes / Cupcakes 2]]
* From "Cupcakes":
** "Chapter 1 - Is it a prank?"
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak:=]''': ''[[Music/{{Queen}} ~Is this the real life, is this just fantasy?~]]''
--->'''[=ToonGuy:=]''': ''~Caught by a cannibal, no escape from insanity~''
--->'''[=Mononeko=]''': ''~Open your eyes, look up to your screen and screeeeeeeeam. She's just a poor mare, she needs some sympathy~''
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': ''~Because Dash easy comes, easy goes. Ripped apart, by this ho. Anyways this fic blows, nothing really matters in it.~''
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': ''~Pinkie... killed Rainbow Dash; making cupcakes was her wish, she gutted Rainbow like a fish...~''
--->'''[=SC276=]''': Shhhhh, the fic is starting!
** "Pinkie held up both cutie marks in front of her friend and started waving them like pompoms."
--->'''[=SC276=]''': That makes me question, now that we know those aren't just tramp stamps, would a cutie mark disappear if the flesh it was on was separated from the pony?
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[FridgeLogic ...you just broke the goddamn story.]]
--->'''[=SC276=]''': Apparently not enough. It's still going.
** "'Hmm, I guess I forgot to sharpen it. I'll try something else,' stated Pinkie matter-of-factly as she tossed the knife over her shoulder, embedding the blade in the table."
--->'''[=SC276=]''': I thought it wasn't sharp- oh forget it.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Pointy and sharp are two separate concepts.
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': The fact that this makes sense disturbs me more than the story itself.
** "Chapter 3 - Every Rainbow Has An End:
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak:=]''': I'd consider linking to '[[Film/TheMuppetMovie The Rainbow Connection]]', [[TemptingFate but that would just be a spiteful thing to do.]]
--->'''[[KickTheDog Crazy56U]]''': [[FalseReassurance Luckily,]] ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNM6R6QV9vo I'm]]'' [[FalseReassurance here!]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak:=]''': ''I loathe you.''
--->'''[=SC276=]''': ''~The lovers, the dreamers, and shit~''
* From "Cupcakes 2":
** Meta: Similar to "The Mysterious Death of the Wonderbolt Leader", everyone is just ''dumbfounded'' by how stupid the fic is, and tries in vain to follow the borderline RandomEventsPlot.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Rainbow Factory]]
* ["]I'm sure you've all had the tour of the lower factory, no?"
-->'''[=Scarlet=]''': Nobody cares!
-->'''[=Dragonborne=]''': [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lrr_VVtyUA8 I shall once again bring this beautiful thing to better convey the message, fic.]]
-->'''[=Mononeko=]''': [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqUDg_PKzBk I still prefer]] the Music/{{Queen}} version.
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SB5vV9XI-Qs I personally prefer]] [[WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged this version]].
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Guys, would you please stop this [[WaxingLyrical battle of]] [[Music/BenFolds who could]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8Ohxr3RbP4 care less]], we're about to enter the "memorable" part of this tripe...
* "You are in The Factory. You will never leave The Factory."
-->'''Dark Angel''': Well, when one of them is turned into rainbows...[[FridgeLogic technically they leave the factory then.]]
* "Scootaloo couldn't take it."
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Scootaloo] "... ([[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoDMDnOaMQE proceeds to get up]]) [-[[WebVideo/JonTron No, I-I can't-]]-] ([[{{Homage}} at the door]]) [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Alright, I jus- I gotta leave, okay?]] (is about to leave)"
---->[Rainbow Dash] "Scootaloo, we just started, c'mon man, we ju-"
---->[Scootaloo] "(comes back) Listen, listen, there's a lot to see in this life... (points at Rainbow Dash) ''...not wasting it here.'' (leaves)"
* "'I tried, alright![']"
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': I... ''really'' fucking doubt that...
[[/folder]]
[[folder:My Little Dashie / The Invasion]]
* From "My Little Dashie":
** Just the fact that "''[[TheReveal My Little Dashie]]''" was the fic [=Crazy56U=] kept saying was "the next best thing" to doing "Pattycakes".
** "In fact, it appears to be sleeping. My hands are sweating,"
--->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': "[[Music/{{Eminem}} Vomit on my T-shirt already: Mom's spaghetti.]]"
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to [[BaitAndSwitch drop spaghetti]], but he keeps on spaghetting what he wrote down. The whole mom goes so loud, he opens his mouth, but spaghetti won't come out. He's chokin', how, everybody's jokin' now, the clock's run out, times up, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmPW4hwNurQ drop spaghetti]].
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [[WhatTheHellHero Goddamn it, Crazy, I thought I was having a mental breakdown for a moment.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Obscure Crossover Shuffle]]
* From "The Knight Rider Of Equestria":
** ["]Now begone you foul creatures!"
--->'''[=SC276=]''': ...Didn't work, the fic's still here.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ...[[ActuallyPrettyFunny fuck it]], you deserve this more. (gives [=SC276=] [[ItMakesSenseInContext the "You Win!" ribbon]])
--->'''[=SC276=]''': Yay! ^^ I'd like to thank the Academy...
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Obscure Crossover Shuffle #2]]
* From "Ducktales in Equestria":
** After the author goes out of his way to describe Huey, Dewey and Louie, he doesn't do the same for Scrooge [=McDuck=]. Crazy's reaction?
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': He doesn't get a description because fuck the bourgeoisie.
** "Before he left he toke the tape recorder with he."
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': And so the chapter ends with Scrooge [=McDuck=] [[LiteralMinded using a tape recorder as a bong]].
--->'''[=SC276=]''': No, that'd be ''interesting''.
--->'''Dark Angel''': I won't complain if a bong comes into play at any time during this fic. I wouldn't even care what it's used for just as long as a bong exists.
--->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': Ask and ye shall receive. *takes out bong, passes it around*
* From "Dib in the Rainbow Factory":
** "A quick patter of footsteps echoed around the metal walls, the sound making Dib shudder like someone had started rubbing a balloon."
--->'''[=SC276=]''': When does the pony come in? I understand pony.
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[TemptingFate I'm sure you'll regret asking for that.]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[ItMakesSenseInContext Out of context,]] [[SanitySlippage it sounds like you snapped.]]
--->'''Nox''': We've all snapped at this point.
** "A/N I was inspired by a picture by [=InvaderLez=] on DA that had Dib strapped into the Rainbow Factory."
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [=DeviantArt=] is to blame for this. [[SarcasmMode This is my surprised face.]]
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[SarcasmMode Geez, what a shock!]]
--->'''[=SC276=]''': So you couldn't even be bothered to come up with ''your own premise. THIS DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH PONIES.''
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Hey now, the Author made it ''abundantly'' clear that this was a crossover with that fucking song, [[InsaneTrollLogic that's pony enough.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Love Knows No Race]]
* Despite this being his third riff, Calico was promoted to full-time editor [[TroubledProduction because Ring needed help comment voting for part two of Starpops]].
-->'''Ringmaster''': god fucking damnit I just spent three fucking hours comment-voting that last fic and now there's no one to do the intro with me except the new guy we literally added just to help with that
-->'''[=Calico103=]''': Speaking of which, is this rapid-fire succession of horrifyingly bad fanfics a conspiracy to make [[SelfDeprecation the obnoxious new guy quit?]]
-->'''Ringmaster''': [[NotWhatItLooksLike No, you just got lucky to arrive at a particularly horrible time.]]
-->'''[=Calico103=]''': I need a new lucky charm.
** Even better [[KickTheDog is that Ring had these difficulties the day before his birthday]].
* [=Crazy56U=] had decided to start the riff while on vacation, [[RealLifeWritesThePlot and his reward was]] [[KickTheDog Hurricane Hermine forcing him to come home early]].
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': I know you can't see or hear me, [[{{Troll}} but I'm currently pointing at my monitor and laughing.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ([[TakeThat GIF of]] [[Film/GuardiansOfTheGalaxy2014 Star-Lord]] [[FlippingTheBird miming a jack-in-the-box]] [[BlatantLies and apologizing]])
* "He was wearing tight black jeans and a black tee-shirt with a red Irken symbol on it."
-->'''[=JofY=]''': [[Fanfic/MyImmortal And he died his hair black with red highlights?]]
-->'''[=Mononeko=]''': And had some self-inflicted scars on his arms?
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': "Hi my name is Zim Ir'ken Evil Moose Place and I have long zim black hair (that's how I got my name) with black streaks and black tips that reaches [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial my totally normal looking not-contacts eyes]] like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like]] ComicBook/JohnnyTheHomicidalManiac (AN: if u don't know who he is get da hell out of here!)."
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': And don't forget the skull earring.
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': And the collections of dark poetry.
* "Zim sniffed the air, with his non-existent nose."
-->'''[=JofY=]''': It smelled like [[IceCreamKoan a tree falling in the middle of the woods with no one to hear it.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[SeriousBusiness Don't you dare bring that up in my general presence, I have had]] ''[[SeriousBusiness debates]]'' [[SeriousBusiness with my mom over that...]]
* "'I'd like that.' Zim said with a smile."
-->'''Something''': Cue the sexytimes!
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': Ah, here comes the parts that most yaoi readers just want to read.
-->'''[=SC276=]''': [--[[FailedASpotCheck You are so lucky Crazy is on vacation...]]--]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[SarcasmMode Yes, you are so lucky I am on vacation and am not here right now. ...cough...]]
-->'''[=SC276=]''': [[VerbalBackspace Um...]] I call time shenanigans.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[ImStandingRightHere You ignored me and you fucking know it.]]
-->'''Mononeko''': *pulls out a link to a [=YouTube=] video* Sexy sax is ready...
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''I will punch you.''
* At one point, [[http://topaz.beneathmywings.org/stoof/by_topaz13.gif a link]] to a [=GIF=] was posted into the story. [=Crazy56U=] decided to check the link out... and it turns out that it now leads to the ''[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Topps Topps]]'' trading card website.[[note]]This end result seems to depend on the type of browser and/or ISP one uses when going to that link. Some get Topps, some don't get anything.[[/note]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Let's see what this links too! ([[http://topaz.beneathmywings.org/stoof/by_topaz13.gif goes to link]]) ...okay then!
-->'''[=Calico103=]''': [[LockedOutOfTheLoop I'm glad my browser isn't loading that.]]
-->'''[=Mononeko=]''': [[DramaticIrony Seconded.]]
-->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': Thank god.
** "Go there! It's a pic from TOPAZ! Is so pretty."
--->'''[=SC276=]''': It's also dead.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': And baseball cards.
* During Sek's story at the end:
-->But the Rose dared not. For he was warned when created by Allah,
--->'''[=Ringmaster=]''': [[AssPull suddenly the alien is muslim now apparently]] ''[[FlatWhat what the shit is going on anymore]]''
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[{{Catchphrase}} oh sweet baby jesus]]
--->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': Sense, this fic has none.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Sister Dash]]
* The riff opens with [=Crazy56U=] eulogizing the RunningGag of wanting to riff "Sister Dash" while Ring keeps demanding to know who voted for it.
* "[']Her spells have caused serious injuries to our citizens!' Rainbow Dash was horrorstruck."
-->'''[=Mononeko=]''': Okay, [[Music/{{ACDC}} this joke is way too obvious]], so I'm just going to link the punchline [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2AC41dglnM here]].
-->'''[=Vertigo22=]''': Horrorstruck: the evolved form of Awestruck.
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': But not even remotely good as [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2AC41dglnM thunderstruck]].
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ...[[LateToThePunchline which Mono already linked]], [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2AC41dglnM but fuck it]].
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': ...and since [[RunningGag everyone's doing it]], [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2AC41dglnM why stay behind?]]
* "Celestia gasped. 'Those are... my loyal subjects![']"
-->'''[=SC276=]''': And... what ponies in Equestria ''aren't'' your loyal subjects? Well, besides the obvious, I guess.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Princess Luna] "...well, okay, I'll give you that... A bit too broad of a description, but I'll give it to you..."
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [Celestia] "I can't believe that Mare Do Well is everyone!"
-->'''[=Vertigo22=]''': [Celestia] "Luna, why didn't you tell me that cosplaying was the new hot thing to do!?"
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [Luna] "I was trying to save your soul, sister."
* "said Ditzy Doo, pulling off the rest of the costume and tossing it amongst the garbage."
-->'''[=JofY=]''': Yes, the now growing pile of trash in the center of town.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': I'm sad to report this, [[RunningGag but it's been confirmed: recycling is, in fact, a myth.]]
-->'''[=SC276=]''': ''[[BigNo NOOOOO!]] [[WasItAllALie Half of my allowance is based on a lie!]]''
* "She then proceed to write a letter."
-->'''[=JofY=]''': 'F'
-->'''[=Mononeko=]:''' 'U'
-->'''[=SC276=]''': 'C'
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': 'K'
-->'''[=Dark Angel=]''': Okay, class. [[PrecisionFStrike What does that spell?]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[TakeThat The Author!]] :D
-->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': *[[ActuallyPrettyFunny hands Crazy a gold star]]* Well done!
[[/folder]]
[[folder:10/15 Poll Winner (actually SONIC.EXE and its sequel)]]
* Ring constantly bemoans that everyone chose the unknown option in the poll for this riff, much to the annoyance of the other riffers (mainly [=Crazy56U=]). [[KickTheDog And then it turns out they hadn't even finished]] ''[[ProlongedPrologue the intro to the riff]]'' [[KickTheDog yet...]]
* From "SONIC.EXE":
** [=Crazy56U=]'s answer to the "Robotnik" vs. "Eggman" debate? [[TakeAThirdOption "Robeggmanik"]].
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Lost Episode Creepypasta Shuffle]]
* From "A Luna Game Experience":
** "I was searching for MLP fandom games on the web but most of them were skins, gun skins, and others for VideoGame/TeamFortress2."
--->'''[=SC276=]''': Your search terms must suck if you didn't find ''VisualNovel/MyLittleInvestigations''.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[WebVideo/{{Vinesauce}} Also,]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_9m7JfrHfI&t=6m28s flash games]].
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[StunnedSilence ...]]
--->'''Mononeko''': I have so many questions...
--->'''Nox''': [[WhatTheHellHero Why Crazy? Why?]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''Because I no longer have an iota of a fuck to give.''
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[DamnedByFaintPraise Well]] at least it's not [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HT2pxqkww3E this monstrosity]].
--->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': You clearly weren't looking hard, author.
*** And a few lines later:
---->"After playing [=TF2=] on my computer, I started searching for MLP fandom games and after looking at a long list of the games, I found a game that my eye caught-"
----->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_9m7JfrHfI&t=6m28s Pregnant Sparkle Foot Doctor]]"
----->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': ''[[EveryoneHasStandards STOP THAT.]]''
----->'''Nox''': [[BigWhy WHYYYYY!?]]
----->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': '''''[++NOT ONE FUCK++]'''''
----->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': Wimps... Clearly you haven't seen "[[https://youtu.be/HT2pxqkww3E?t=4m57s Bad Teeth Pony]]". No regrets.
----->'''Mononeko''': *[[BrainBleach pours bleach into his eyes]]*
----->'''[=SC276=]''': [[SchmuckBait Thank god I'm not stupid.]]
----->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': [[ThisIsGonnaSuck I get the sense that this is going to be a long riff.]]
----->'''Topher''': [[EvilerThanThou Crazy, you may post videos,]] [[http://www.zeegames.com/game/1188/Pregnant_Twilight_Sparkle_Foot_Doctor.html but only I will show the beast in the flesh]]. Now get in there and drain some pus!
* From "[=MLP FiM S03 EP14=] 'King Sombra's Return'":
** When the fic starts up, [=Crazy56U=] casually admits that he's the reason the shuffle exists.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Oh, by the way, I shared that link with Ring. In fact, I'm pretty sure I caused this whole shuffle. [[SarcasmMode Just to let you know that I care about you guys...]]
** Behold: [[FailedASpotCheck ignorance]]:
--->"Alicorn Twilight Sparkle was at her desk writing a report for Princess Celestia (she still does that after being a princess?!)"
---->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': Okay, hold on. This is supposed to take place AFTER "The Crystal Empire" premiered, right? All he knew was the title of the episodes, not their synopsis. AND YET, somehow, he already knew about Twilicorn, which wasn't announced UNTIL halfway through the season?!
---->'''[=SC276=]''': ''Because creepypasta!''
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': Because he's psychic?
---->'''Mononeko''': Because he's secretly M.A. Larson?
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Uhhh... ...guys? ([[RunningGag pulls out a tape recorder]]) This happens ''after'' "Magical Mystery Cure"... (hits "Play")
---->'''Tape Recorder''': @@First up, it's "[=MLP FiM S03 EP14=] 'King Sombra's Return'"@@
** The title of the so called "lost episode" winds up being so generic, [[RunningGag it keeps being assumed to be the name of the other lost episodes in the shuffler]].
* From "[=MLP=] Season 5 - Episode 14 - True Friendship":
** It's rare when a RunningGag derails attempted drama:
--->"[Pinkie] asked Twilight what was wrong and Twilight looked over at Pinkie slowly, 'Spike is dead.' She said."
---->'''[=SC276=]''': [[SarcasmMode Well we're off to a fine start.]]
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': Well, Spike is dead... [[TheyKilledKennyAgain again.]]
---->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[TakeThatScrappy I know of a few people who could be happy to hear that.]]
---->'''[=JofY=]''': [Pinkie] "What's wrong? Is it the fact that I let Spike die?"
---->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': [Pinkie] "[[TheyKilledKennyAgain Yeah, so what's wrong? He always dies. Always.]]"
---->'''Mononeko''': [[TakeThat And nothing of value was lost.]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Pinkie Pie] "Oh, I was ''wondering'' where he was..."
** "In the end, your friends will just back stab you and leave."
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Except they ''[[BrokenAesop didn't]]''. You ''[[LostAesop killed them.]]''
** "He responded saying that he knows the reason on why the episode was made."
--->'''[=JofY=]''': [[TakeThat Bad writer?]]
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': Bad animator?
--->'''Mononeko''': [[RuleOfThree Bad voice actors?]]
--->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': Bad story in general?
--->'''Dark Angel''': And bad video editors?
--->'''[=SC276=]''': And bad planning in general?
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[RunningGag Bad bad, bad. Bad? Bad!]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsUXAEzaC3Q And the whole world has to answer right now to tell you once again who's bad!]]
** During TheReveal, Dark Angel reaches a shocking conclusion:
--->'''Dark Angel''': [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe I don't believe it.]] A fanfic where Hasbro actually hired [[TakeThat Mykan]] as a writer.
* From ""My Little Pony Season 3 Lost Episode":
** Topher reveals what his first piece of MLP media was: ''Fanfic/CupcakesSergeantSprinkles''.
--->'''[=SC276=]''': ''[[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe ...seriously?!]]''
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[FridgeBrilliance That actually explains]] ''[[AxeCrazy a lot]]''.
--->'''Mononeko''': [[TakeThat I figured as much...]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[StunnedSilence (is gobsmacked)]]
** "After a few hours of watching videos about COD zombies and other miscellaneous things[.]"
--->'''Mononeko''': Ah, he's one of ''those'' types.
--->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [[TemptingFate What other things?]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U:=]''' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_9m7JfrHfI&t=6m28s Like this.]]
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[WhatTheHellHero DAMN IT, CRAZY!]] [[RunningGag Enough with that damn thing!]]
* From "My Little Pony G3 Episode - The Black Dawn":
** "It was Friday, [[ThirteenIsUnlucky May 13th, 2005]]."
--->'''[=JofY=]''': ...huh. They have the right day of the week.
--->'''Mononeko''': Holy shit, somebody actually did research in one of these things!
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': So... [[MeaningfulReleaseDate the day]] "[[Recap/StarTrekEnterpriseS04E21TheseAreTheVoyages These Are the Voyages...]]" premiered...
--->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': [[TakeThat I knew there was a reason that date feels wrong.]]
** "I noticed an odd [movie]."
--->'''[=JofY=]''': "Film/CannibalHolocaust!?"
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': "What the heck is '[[Film/TheAdventuresOfSharkboyAndLavaGirl Sharkboy and Lavagirl]]'?!"
--->'''[=Dark Angel=]''': [[SelfDeprecation Should I feel ashamed that I know what that movie is?]]
--->'''Mononeko''': If it helps, I feel ashamed as well.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[SanitySlippage I had a mental breakdown when I saw]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plUgn_FC0sk Taylor Lautner's musical number]]. :D
* Ring strikes once again, [[BlatantLies claiming that the riff was over]] after the eight creepypastas [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial and that there was no other surprises]]... only for ''Squidward's Suicide'' to start up.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:My Little Pokemon]]
* Behold: the point of no return:
-->"Come on Lighten Love!"
--->'''Something''': [[AerithAndBob That's an OC name if I've ever seen one.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': You haven't met her brother: 'Heavy Petting'.
--->'''Nox''': Or their mother: 'Moderate Malfunctions'
--->'''[=SC276=]''': How about her cousin once-removed: "[[WebAnimation/HomestarRunner Heavy Lourde]]."
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (puts head in hands) [--[[ThisIsGonnaSuck oh god this is gonna be a long day]]--]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak:=]''' Oh ''golly'', yes.
--->'''Dragonborne''': Still ain't got nothing on Foxfire.
* "'Good you have the book.' Twilight said as Spike but the book on a stand."
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Oh, goody, [[Manga/JoJosBizarreAdventure a JoJo reference]], ''[[SarcasmMode classy.]]''\\
'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': Now I'm picturing Star Platinum hitting Lighten non-stop. I think I found my happy place for this story.
* Is it possible to make [[ObligatoryJoke an obvious joke]] painful?
-->Chapter One: A New World
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ([[DreadfulMusician tone-deaf as fuck]]) ''[[WesternAnimation/{{Aladdin}} Shining, shimmering, splendid...]] Oh, fuck, I don't really know the rest of the lyrics to this song... A whole new world...''
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': *even more tone-deaf than Crazy* ''It's a whole new world we're living! (Doo-doo-doo Doo Doo Doo!) It's a whole new way to see! (Doo-doo-doo Doo Doo Doo!)''
--->'''Dark Angel''': *[[EarRape covering his now bloody ears and writhing on the floor in pain]]* Please make them stop singing!
--->'''[=Mononeko=]''': And [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vtz6bvwK9eI cue Equestria Girls music]]!
* "'So our next stop is Sunny shore city.' The brown haired boy said"
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Thank you for that piece of timeline placement, I'm sure if I cared enough I could find a way to make this a paradox.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Well, glad to know Ash and crew are lost as shit, given that it's "''[[RougeAnglesOfSatin Sunnyshore City]]''" you should be going to...
-->'''[=Mononeko=]''': [[CowboyBebopAtHisComputer Given the fact that it's]] "''[[SpellMyNameWithAnS Sunyshore City]]''", you're not much of a help.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (cheerfully) [[DissonantSerenity Fuck you, too!]]
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': Either way, they're as lost as my sanity right now.
-->'''Dark Angel''': In other words, they're hopelessly lost.
* Behold: a mass ClusterFBomb.
-->One was blue with its mane and tail that was rainbow colored. The other was a faded pink with blue and pink colored mane and tail.
--->'''[=SC276=]''': Repetition, because fuck the audience.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[BrokenRecord Repetition, because fuck the audience.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[WordSaladHumor Fuck the audience, because repetition.]]
--->'''[=Mononeko=]''': Fuck the repetition, because audience.
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': Repetition the fuck, audience because.
--->'''[=Topher=]''': Repetition because audience, the fuck.
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': The fuck?
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[RuleOfThree The fuck.]]
--->'''[=Dark Angel=]''': [[OverlyLongGag Fuck, because the audience repetition.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Snow days are forever]]
* Because of the genericness of the OC's name, "Snow Day", several riffers (most notably [=Crazy56U=], [=CaptainPipsqueak=], Topher and [=SC276=]) opted to instead [[MaliciousMisnaming call him practically everything]] ''[[MaliciousMisnaming but]]'' [[MaliciousMisnaming that]]. This netted him a [[IHaveManyNames grand total]] of about '''[[OverlyLongGag 200]]''' names.
* "he saw to it that the desk mare would be of assistance."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Well ''my'' mind went to a dark place.
-->'''[[NightmareFuelStationAttendant Crazy56U]]''': You ''also'' imagined a "[[Film/TheFly1986 The Fly]]" scenario of [[MixAndMatchCritters a half desk/half pony abortion of nature]]?
-->'''[=SC276=]''': [[SureLetsGoWithThat ...sure, let's go with that.]]
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': Seconded.
-->'''[=Mononeko=]''': Thirded.
-->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': My mind goes to many dark places.
-->'''Dark Angel''': You're a riffer. Dark places are par for the course.
* "Well I guess you can say that he invented me."
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[FanFic/TheHuemnCeniped2TheHumenMilipede Doctor Scientist]] [[ArtisticLicenseChemistry invented snow.]] ''Suck it, [[WebAnimation/Snowdrop2013 Snowdrop]]!''
* "He was mad, from what I heard, he held both pony and windigo slaves and forcefully injected DNA into females causing them to give birth to snow ponies."
-->'''[=Mononeko=]''': [[ArtisticLicenseBiology I don't think that's how biology works.]]
-->'''[=SC276=]''': [[DoWrongRight That's not how slavery works either.]]
-->'''Topher''': [[MadScientist *holding a giant syringe* Not with that attitude! *jabs the syringe into Mono's neck* ]]
-->'''[=Mononeko=]''': *starts glowing bright purple* The fuck is happening?
-->'''[=JofY=]''': [[RuleOfThree I don't think that's how doctoring works.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ...wait, is this Topher doing science or Topher doing slavery, [[DelayedReaction that action was a bit delayed...]]
-->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': [[TakeAThirdOption Bit of both never hurt.]]
* "'Hmmm, Pinkie Pie, do ya know anypony bah the name of Secret Papah?' Asked Applejack"
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Okay, Applejack, [[BlatantLies that was a good line read,]] but maybe this time have it sound like ''English'', okay?
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[TheUnintelligible That's not so much an accent as it is making up words.]]
-->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': Maybe if you [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment reverse it backwards,]] [[SubliminalSeduction it summons a demon?]]
* "[[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext Death is secretly the Equestrian NSA.]] ''[[ARareSentence I just fucking typed that.]]''"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Stocking Stuffer Shuffle]]
* From "A Nostalgia Critic and Mlp Christmas":
** "anything like that and i know here is Hearth's Warming but to me its Christmas okay its Fucking Christmas.""
--->'''[=JofY=]''': [[{{Squick}} It's sexual harassment of Santa.]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Instead of Christmas trees, we decorate Christmas dildos.
--->'''[=Something=]''': [[StunnedSilence *is unable to come up with any jokes*]]
--->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': I have nothing to add to this. Nothing in the slightest!
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': ''[[AC:[[PaintingTheMedium LI]][[RunningGag ES!]]]]''
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[RunningGag Shut up.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': You've been waiting ages to do that. Admit it.
** "'Don't forget your umbrealla.' Sandy said in the spongebob clip. ' IIIIIII Didn't!' Spongebob said while singing at the same time."
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': I tried looking up this clip on [=YouTube=] right now, [[SelfDeprecation because I hate myself]], and I wound up finding [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7qFn1mgSZE this]].
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': *eyes start bleeding* ...what the living fuck?
--->'''Something''': Oh, [=YouTube=]. Never stop surprising me.
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': So ''that's'' what wishing you were blind and deaf feels like!
** "Sweetie Belle was playing with Scootaloo Applebloom"
--->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': You know without the period, it makes it seem that Scootaloo and Applebloom [[FusionDance fused together]].
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[NoodleIncident Yet another horrible tree sap incident.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [Scootabloom] "'''''[-Killl usssss....-]'''''"
** "Elusive Nozzles back,"
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': *both palms on his face* ...so apparently this is not only a Nostalgia Critic crossover, but also an ''Fanfic/OnACrossAndArrow'' crossover. Whoop-dee-fucking-doo.
--->'''Ringmaster''': This... this is a Nostalgia Critic crossover where at least three MLP characters are romantically paired with [[ScrewYourself the genderbent versions of themselves what the fuck is going on]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': What happened here was a Christmas miracle, [[Film/PulpFiction and I want you to fucking acknowledge it]]. ''This is your fault.''
--->'''Ringmaster''': [[JerkAss You say "fault", I say "gift".]]
--->'''[=JofY=]''': I'll say that this may be unique material for us, but if you pull something like this again...
--->'''Mononeko''': ''~On the first day of Christmas Ringmaster gave to me / This excuse for a story.~''
** "' Sometimes i wonder what the Colors..meean.' Hubie Singing."
--->'''Mononeko''': "This is painful." Mono saying.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': "''Christmas is fucking dead.''" [=Crazy56U=] saying.
--->'''[=JofY=]''': "[[PoliticalOvercorrectness Hey, we need to be more politically correct. Say the Holidays are dead.]]" [[TakeThat No one saying.]]
--->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': "This year better hurry the fuck up and end." [[HeroicBSOD ToonGuy sobbing.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': *The Captain snored.* *[[Literature/AtlasShrugged Atlas shrugged.]]*
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': And the dish ran away with the spoon.
** " 'Like yourrrr Eyes, where was..I?' Hubie asked"
--->'''[=JofY=]''': [Hubie] "Line?"
--->'''[=Crazy56U:=]''' I think Hubie is dying.
--->'''[=SuperMapslover=]''': Or he's drunk.
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Split the difference: He's got so much alcohol in his system, his liver is melting.
** Right as the second chapter starts up:
--->a Nostlagia Critic and Mlp Christmas Story Review
---->'''Something''': [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Nope, fuck this, I'm out.]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''COWARD''
---->'''[=SC276=]''': [[CallBack Or he's just being]] ''[[IronicEcho smart]]''.
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''Don't you fucking quote me to me.''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Equestria Girls (Rewritten)]]
* Behold, some really shitty formatting.
-->"The Princesses and the Element bearers
-->come out"
--->'''[=Something=]''': WHY IS THE SENTENCE
--->FORMATTED LIKE THIS
--->'''[=Mono=]''': Because the author
--->can't write for shit.
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': Can somebody please
--->fix this damn thing?
--->'''[=Topher=]''': Somebody help,
--->I can't turn it
--->off!
--->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': Oh this is
--->how it
--->all
--->ends...
--->'''[=SC276=]''': (kicks the formatting back into place) Whiners.
--->[[rtl:'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[NiceJobBreakingItHero Nice going, you broke it. Asshole.]]]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Life Change, in 127.8 Seconds]]
* "It looked like a male."
-->'''[=Mono=]''': "I could see that by looking at its... [[BaitAndSwitchComment muzzle]]."
-->'''[=SuperMapslover=]''': Mono, stop it, that's Pip's schtick.
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': "Judging by the size of his big, thick, throbbing... [[BaitAndSwitchComment hind legs]]. Seriously, they look like they could break a rock with just a buck!"
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': "The fact that it had [[RuleOfThree a penis]] was ''also'' a clue!"
-->'''[[TranquilFury Crazy56U]]''': ''[[SarcasmMode Classy]]''. All of you are ''[[WhatTheHellHero real fucking classy]]''.
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[CatchPhrase I'm not apologizing]].
* Each time the Author links to a ''Series/DoctorWho'' soundtrack piece, [=Crazy56U=] offers up an alternative link. '''Every alternative given''' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWpKhVf8hyk links to]] "[[Series/ItsAlwaysSunnyInPhiladelphia Go Fuck Yourself]]".
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Ponyville Love Story]]
* As to give you an idea [[SarcasmMode how vast and expansive]] the fic's plot is, here is the end:
-->What a happy ending to such a romantic story.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [+++'''''[[RageBreakingPoint WHAT]]'' STORY?!'''+++]
* "I would like you to give her a kind welcome along with your friends."
-->'''Mono''': [Twilight] "Pinkie, you know what this means. Get the hacksaw ready."
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Pinkie Pie] "[[Fanfic/CupcakesSergeantSprinkles Hey,]] why ''do'' they-"
---->[Twilight Sparkle] "''[[DiscreditedMeme Finish that sentence and I snap your neck.]]''"
* After Gia reveals that her father outlawed music after her mother died, [=Crazy56U=] becomes convinced the Author is plagiarizing ''Film/{{Footloose}}''.
-->Everywhere you went, you heard music. No one loved it more than my mother. When she died, my father outlawed music.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': We interrupt ''Love is Dead'' to bring you ''Footloose'', because the Author has no shame.
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [[WesternAnimation/SagwaTheChineseSiameseCat By order of his Imperial Magistrate, there will be no singing, from morning until night and from night until morning!]]
--->'''Mono''': I'm like, 99% sure this is the plot of a video game.
--->'''[=SC276=]''': Offhand? I'm guessing ''VideoGame/StellaGlow''.
--->'''Calico''': He wanted to be able to visit the graveyard without being spooked by [[VideoGame/SuperMarioWorld the Ghost House theme]].
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': That's nice, you guys, but this is clearly ''Footloose''.
--->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': Actually, I'd say this is more ''WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaidIIIArielsBeginning'', but sure, ''Footloose'' works too.
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': And back to Rip Off Country we go!
--->'''Topher''': I think it was ''[[VideoGame/DanceDanceRevolutionMarioMix Dance Dance Revolution: Mario Mix]]''. If the king was Waluigi.
** "'I WILL NOT ALLOW MY DAUGHTER TO BE IN A TOWN WITH MUSIC!' He shouted."
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[WebVideo/JonTron Oh, now this fic's good, this fic has some depth to it...]] probably because it's ''Footloose'', literally, it's ''Footloose'', and it ''changed the course of Creator/KevinBacon's career when it came out 'cause it's FFFF[+FF+][++FUCKING FOOTLOOSE!++]''
--->'''Mono''': Well, allow me to make this fic a little bit better, then... [[LateToTheRealization and I just realized]] "Maniac" [[PopCulturalOsmosisFailure is a song from]] ''Film/{{Flashdance}}'' because I'm a dip. [[Music/{{Nickelback}} So,]] here's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BB0DU4DoPP4 a different song]].
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''...why is this helping...''
--->'''[=SC276=]''': I'm not sure where this "depth" is. [[FlatCharacter This villain is flatter than a sheet of paper.]]
* "[[TimeSkip Nightmare Night had come.]]"
-->'''[=Mono=]''': Because nothing fucking interesting happened in the time between then and the last scene.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': You can literally use that sentence for ''any scene in this''.
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Is Ring omitting the chapter breaks again, or is time just that inconsistent in this fic?
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': It's obviously the latter, but for the sake of the joke: ''[[MathematiciansAnswer Yes.]]''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Pre-Event Shuffle]]
* From "Sanguine: The Origin Saga"
** "Sanguine: The Origin Saga"
--->'''[=SC276=]''': Yes, author, we know what the story's title is.
--->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': As opposed to origin chronicles.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Because ''this fucker'' is the one who deserves [[OriginStory an Origin story]]. Him, and ''not'' Waluigi. (fart noise of derision)
** "It was the year 2133 in Equestrian time."
--->'''[=JofY=]''': In Earth time, it's 4:32 AM.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': For Earth, it's 1965 AD.
--->'''Dark Angel''': In internet time, it was the year 8,675,309 AD.
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [[VideoGame/ZeroWing In the year 2101, war was beginning.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[ButForMeItWasTuesday But for us it was Tuesday.]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Wednesday.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': *[[Film/StreetFighter ball drops in the background]]*
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''I know what you were referencing, [[PaintingTheMedium it's called a "joke" fuckhead]]''. (several balls drop in the background)
--->'''[=SC276=]''': ([[ButtMonkey goes slipping across the room yelling]])
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[{{Beat}} ...]] (to Pip; points at SC's retreating form) [[WhatTheHellHero Look at what you've done!]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[UnsympatheticComedyProtagonist *stretches and grunts smugly* Yep; I'm good at this.]]
** "Twilight and Cadence, as well as the other rulers of Equestria, have kept peace for many years."
--->'''[=JofY=]''': All of 4 years.
--->'''Mono''': [[WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender And then the Fire Nation attacked.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': That can feel like a long time.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Things haven't been quite the same ever since Celestia and Luna said "[[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Fuck this.]]" and left for [[RecycledINSPACE Space Hawaii]].
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Not [[RecycledINSPACE Space Disney World]]?
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (scoff) Have you ''seen'' "[[RecycledINSPACE Space]] Film/EscapeFromTomorrow"? Space Disney World is literally Hell according to that thing!
--->'''Ringmaster''': Is it Hell, or is it ''[[RecycledINSPACE Space]]'' Hell?
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': You ''[[RunningGag know]]'' the answer is "[[MathematiciansAnswer Yes]]"!
** "The doors parted and Deoxy stepped in to see a large fetus where the embryo was a month ago."
--->'''[=SC276=]''': I dub him [[VideoGame/TheBindingOfIsaac Dr. Fetus]].
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': I'd have gone with [[{{Squick}} Harlequin]], myself.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[Music/SiIvaGunner Great idea, Pip!]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVJ21LJAEog Puzzle Room]] it is! ([[MyGodWhatHaveIDone buries head in hands]]) ''[--[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3Pr8tFsBlE Ring's gonna fucking kill me...]]--]''
** The absolute crowning moment, however, is when Sanguine's cutie mark is revealled:
--->His mark was a swastika
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': '''''[+++[[PaintingTheMedium WHAT THE FUCK]]+++]'''''
---->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[WebVideo/JonTron BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! I'm sorry, what's that?! Oh, that's just the "YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP" alarm!]]
---->'''[=JofY=]''': Did [[{{Pun}} nazi]] that one coming.
---->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': I understand he's in a pretty foul mood in general. [[{{Pun}} A real sour kraut.]]
---->'''Calico''': ...Okay, this was on my list of "things to maybe expect" so I'm not too surprised... [[WhatTheHellHero but that doesn't mean]] any character's cutie mark should be a ''fucking swastika''.
---->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': Well that went from nought to fucking three hundred!
---->'''Ringmaster''': [[FromBadToWorse It's worth noting]] that this incredibly fucking stupid author intends for it to be a "Buddhist" one and not a "German" one, but that doesn't really excuse the fact that it's ''still a fucking swastika''.
---->'''[=SC276=]''': [[ShownTheirWork So... a manji. It's called a manji. The swastika is a manji put through a mirror-flipping and 45-degree rotation.]] Considering the two have literally the opposite meaning, it just makes me weep for this author's inability to research / having never experienced the original ''[[Franchise/TheLegendOfZelda Legend of Zelda]]''.
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': What... the hell is this?
---->'''Mono''': ''[+[[PaintingTheMedium OKAY! THAT JUST HAPPENED!]]+]''
---->'''Topher''': I don't even mind that it's a Nazi symbol, I mean, if this thing was bred for evil, [[FridgeBrilliance it kind of makes sense]], but [[FridgeLogic WHY WOULD SWASTIKAS EVEN EXIST IN EQUESTRIA?!]] I actually have your answer. Waaaaaay back in season one, during the song "Art of the Dress" Fluttershy requests that her dress be based in "French Haute Coture." Later, Rarity talks about how Rainbow won't look like "a tank" in her dress. This indicates that France and tanks are canon. This means that in all likelihood, World War I and probably II are canon. This means that Nazis are canon. You heard it here folks! ''My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic''! A heartwarming show with ''implied Nazis''!
---->'''Mono''': [[DeadpanSnarker Thank you for looking too deep into a cartoon about talking horses, Topher.]] Now, back to riffing.
--->with a blood dripping blade crossing at diagonals on the bottom left and right of the mark.
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Because ''[[SarcasmMode that]]'' makes things better and not swastika-like! ''[[AC:[[PaintingTheMedium FUCK YOU]]]]''
---->'''Mono''': *sighs* [[GratuitousGerman Für alle unsere deutschen Leser, entschuldigung.]][[note]][[BilingualBonus For all our German readers, excuse me.]][[/note]]
---->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': I'm sorry, do you need a honing stone? Because I don't think that was ''fucking'' edgy enough.
---->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': As it turns out, this is a crossover with Literature/TheBoysFromBrazil ''for some fucking reason''.
---->'''[=SC276=]''': So... a Nazi pirate? ''[[BaitAndSwitch How DARE you involve pirates in this!]]''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Element Seven]]
* "The End Begins"
-->'''Fallen Prime''': That's not how that works, though?
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ...why are ''[[CreatorCameo you]]'' here?
-->'''Fallen Prime''': Ring said this fic was one of the stupidest we've ever run, and based on accounts of what happened in "Sonic - [=EGRainbow Rocks=]," [[BeyondTheImpossible I knew that wasn't stated lightly.]]
* "Some think forever is eternal, it never ends."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': [[CaptainObvious ...Yes, that is the definition.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (busts out the "You Win" sticker)
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': *brings out a "You Tried" sticker*
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[RuleOfThree *tosses a "Why The Fuck Did You Even Bother?" sticker*]]
-->'''Calico''': ''~This is the song that never ends...~''
* "Everything has to end eventually."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Well maybe the eternal is the stuff that when it ends loops back to the beginning, ever thought of that?
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': And ''thank fuck'' for that. Literally the only saving grace of the universe.
-->'''Fallen Prime''': Not true. Mozzarella sticks wouldn't exist without a universe.
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Bullshit. Mozzarella sticks are infinite beyond all nothingness.
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': I want to eat some mozzarella sticks now.
-->'''Dragonborne''': "Eternity ending" is like saying "fresh frozen." Poor use of oxymorons, mate.
* "Josh was thirteen years old and a pro skater."
-->'''[=Mono=]''': [[SarcasmMode Suuuuuuure...]]
-->'''[=JofY=]''': A thirteen year old that gets paid for skating around? So, he's also a [[RougeAnglesOfSatin Justin Bever]] lookalike.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Tony Hawk? [[TakeThat Go fuck yourself.]]
-->'''Fallen Prime''': Don't give him that idea again. Fucking himself birthed ''[[VideoGame/TonyHawksProSkater Pro Skater 5]]''.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[PetTheDog Hey,]] it was better than ''Ride'', so ''nyeh''.
-->'''[=SuperMapslover=]''': Glad to know that Bootleg!Tony Hawk is the protagonist.
* "There were a few kids who were pretty cool, though."
-->'''[=JofY=]''': [[CrackFic Like]] Music/VanillaIce, Music/IceT, and Creator/ArnoldSchwarzenegger.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': CousinOliver, [[TheScrappy Scrappy Doo]], [[Series/FullHouse Michelle Tanner]], [[Series/HappyDays Chuck Cunningham]], [[Fanfic/PastSins Nyx]], ComicStrip/LittleOrphanAnnie...
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [[ParodySue And Mary and Marty Stu...]]
-->'''Dragonborne''': With Creator/ChuckNorris as a teacher? Sign me up.
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Pfft, [[TabletopGame/Warhammer40000 Sly Marbo is ten million times the teacher Chuck Norris is.]]
* "Unlike Josh, however, Tim was a bit of a nutjob."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Right. "Unlike."
-->'''[=JofY=]''': 'Tim enjoyed riffing, and inserting his own universe into those riffs when it made no sense.'
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Weirdo. *[[SelfDeprecation Looks around room]]* Aw ''fuck''...
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': "Steve liked setting squirrels on fire, and peeing in mailboxes!"
-->'''[=Calico=]''': ...
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ([[FriendshipMoment pats Calico on the shoulder]]) Don't let it get to you, just keep it in your mind that the Author will be dead someday. Everything will be fine.
** After it's mentioned that Tim is a conspiracy theorist, everyone decides to [[{{Flanderized}} play it up]], [=Crazy56U=] in particular (with others following suit) having him [[TakeThat reference]] WebVideo/GameTheory.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Steve] "Seriously, how are you not fucking getting this, [[VideoGame/Earthbound1994 NESS]] IS [[VideoGame/{{Undertale}} SANS]], IT MAKES TOO MUCH SENSE!"
----->[Josh] "''Who the fuck is Sans?!''"[[note]][[DontExplainTheJoke "Undertale" came out after this fic was written.]][[/note]]
* "[Twilight] had never believed in conspiracy theories, but something inside her said this one might be true."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': I mean, it's not like myths from the past have come true before. Nightmare Moon? Pfffft, totally fake. You can see the wires!
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Discord? HA! Clearly a polar bear in disguise.
-->'''[=JofY=]''': Queen Chrysalis? No, Cadance was always a raging bitch. She just had swiss the other night.
-->'''Mono''': Sombra? Just Flash Sentry with terrible make-up.
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': The Dazzlings? Just some raging pop girl band.
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Tirek? Just swamp gas, a stray weather balloon and a particularly bright occurrence of the northern lights.
-->'''[=SuperMapslover=]''': Midnight Sparkle? Just Twilight drinking too much moonshine again.
-->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': Don't even get us started on Gladstone! Dirty Apples framed him!
-->'''Giginss''': You becoming an Alicorn? Ha! Only M. A. Larson would ever dare do something like that!
-->'''Topher''': Flim and Flam? Nothing but cleverly made animatronics from a local theme park!
* "Twilight attempted to explain the theory to her friends, but they all just laughed."
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [[TooDumbToLive They didn't even know what a theory is.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': And so, [[WebVideo/GameTheory MatPat]] is being mocked across the multiverse. [[TakeThat I'm glad.]]
* Behold: the fate of Spike:
-->He hadn't survived.
--->'''Ringmaster''': And Spike is immediately dead! A great start to what's sure to be an incredible st- [[SarcasmMode okay, I can't even say that sarcastically.]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[TheyKilledKennyAgain Spike dies every other week]], Ring, shut up.
--->'''[=JofY=]''': Plus, it really ruins the drama you use a contraction that changes the tense.
* "[A] Mickey Mouse costume, like the ones at Disney World."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Even when Disney is literally dead, its reach is infinite.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': This is the most depressing episode of "WebVideo/SomeJerkWithACamera" ever. And that includes the one where he found out the mascots are just people in costumes.
-->'''[=SC276=]''': ''[[TomatoSurprise The mascots are WHAT?!]]''
-->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': ''YOU TAKE THAT BACK.''
** And then, the reveal:
--->There was something strange about this costume.
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': It looked bootleg as fuck.
--->[[Literature/AbandonedByDisney It was photo-negative.]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[StunnedSilence ... ... ...]][[Film/JayAndSilentBobStrikeBack I think Slimebeast gonna sue somebody.]]
* "The seven began to flee, but abruptly stopped."
-->'''[=JofY=]''': They failed the [=RNG=] roll.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': "[[FridgeLogic They all suddenly realized]] 'Wait, [[NightmareRetardant it's fucking Mickey Mouse]], we can take him', and then they proceeded to kick a costume's ass. Jesus wept."
* [[FromBadToWorse And then]] Literature/HappyAppy [[FromBadToWorse appeared]].
-->'''[=SC276=]''': ''oh come the fuck on''
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': THEY JUST WENT THERE.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''[++[[AC:[[RageBreakingPoint GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A TWO-BY-FOUR YOU]] [[PaintingTheMedium CUNTWAFFLE]]]]++]''
-->'''Mono''': ''[+++[[AC:[[PaintingTheMedium GO EAT A DICK!]]]]+++]''
** "It came from this old kid's show of the same name.["]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': It's from a piece of shit CreepyPasta that is technically a trollpasta by [[http://happyappy.wikia.com/wiki/User_blog:Dronian/Revelations the Author's own admission]] ''I am literally shaking right now [+++I HATE YOU RING SO GODDAMN MUCH+++]''
** "Oh, look, his blood is apple juice. Clever."
--->'''Calico''': Did the story just pat itself on the back?
--->'''Fallen Prime''': Someone has to.
--->'''[=SC276=]''': Author, ''we're'' the riffers here.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[RageBreakingPoint I swear to fuck,]] ''I will buy a jar of applesauce and [[PaintingTheMedium shit in it]]''. Out of ''FUCKING SPITE''.
--->'''[=JofY=]''': *backs slowly away from [=Crazy56U=]*
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[AC:[++FUCKING.++] ''[++SPITE.++]'']]
--->'''Mono''': Ummm... you do you, Crazy.
* "The group followed the studious unicorn through the destroyed streets."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': So, they know that the Colosseum is a trap... [[TooDumbToLive and they're going there anyway]]. Am I getting that right?
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': DING DING DING! You, my sir, just won a copy of the home game! (hands [=SC276=] [[BrickJoke a jar of applesauce]])
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Thank you. ...You didn't shit in this one, right?
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Did what now?
-->'''Mono''': *pulls out a tape recorder* Should I?
* "I also hope we can do this all together. We only have one chance in this world..."
-->'''[=Fallen Prime=]''': You say, right after [[DeusExMachina retconning the]] ''[[DeusExMachina entire apocalypse.]]''
-->'''[=SC276=]''': [Josh] "One chance, but multiple continues!"
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ...so YOLO then?
* "And so ends Element Seven."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Why was Element Six afraid of Element Seven? [[{{Pun}} Because Element Seven Element Eight Element Nine! ... :D]]
-->'''Mono''': [[NoJustNoReaction ...No.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': And thus, comedy died.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Return of the Changeling's/My Little One]]
* From "My Little One":
** When the Author mentioned that one of his stories is "The Purge (Rated M)":
--->'''[=JofY=]''': Okay, no matter what, "Film/ThePurge" [[TakeThat has never been associated with anything good.]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Plot Twist: It's literally just "The Purge", copied word for word from the movie. [[RefugeInAudacity How that fic is still up, I will never know...]]
** "We walked into my room and me and jess laughed. Little One was sitting on my record player, on a record, while it was playing."
--->'''Mono''': ...Did this guy just rip off a [[https://derpibooru.org/1001398 GIF]]?
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ...you ''know'' there's an alternative here, Mono. [[FridgeHorror It's a horrifying thought to ponder]], but you know it's there...
--->'''Mono''': [[SchmuckBait Who says I want to ponder that?]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''Because the fact that someone was inspired by this fic enough to make something is a terrifying thought, [[Film/PulpFiction and I want you to fucking acknowledge it.]]''
--->'''Mono''': ... ... ... [[BrainBleach *shudders*]]
** [[ItMakesSenseInContext According to Crazy56U]], in the universe of "My Little One", WebVideo/{{Smosh}} [[ItMakesSenseInContext made]] ''Film/ThePurge''.
** After the Author [[ShamelessSelfPromoter once again shamelessly promotes his other stories in the fic near the end,]] Mono decides to ask a question.
-->Be sure to check out my other stories, The Purge, Thief in Equestria, and Team Angel: Old Testament.
--->'''Mono''': So tell me author, what does it feel like to... y'know... [[UnusualEuphemism lick your own lollipop?]]
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Because licking someone else's lollipop is just rude.]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[SpitTake (spits out a mouthful of Diet Coke)]]
--->'''Mono''': [[NoJustNoReaction ...I'm not even gonna go into that...]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Shepherd of Fire]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Shipping Shuffle]]
* In the intro to the shuffle, [=Crazy56U=] barely reacts to what's going on due to [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4y7UK4nqnQ watching]] the ''Franchise/ToyStory'' trailer for ''VideoGame/KingdomHeartsIII'' on his phone. This includes [[TheyKilledKennyAgain getting squashed by Topher's boat]].
-->'''Topher''': *crashes through the wall on a gigantic boat* [[JustForFun/IThoughtItMeant WHO'S READY FOR SOME SHIIIIIIIIIIIPS?]] I admit, [[HalfTruth a nautical theme]] seemed odd to me at first, but I have to say I'm really getting into it! I- [[FailedASpotCheck Oh.]] ''[[LateToTheRealization ooooooh.]]'' Not gonna lie, [[EvenEvilHasStandards I feel like kind of a jackass.]] And not just because [[SquashedFlat the boat flattened Crazy.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ([[ButtMonkey is under the boat; dead;]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4y7UK4nqnQ iPhone is still playing video]])
-->'''Topher''': Eh? What's this? An advertisement for some sort of electronic game? Well, I guess that's keeping in theme, [[LoopholeAbuse because you can order it online and have it sent to you!]] [[HereWeGoAgain *is sporting a brown uniform as a brown delivery truck crashes through the wall, flattening Mono* I'M READY FOR SOME SHIPPING!]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Quest of the Cool Pony]]
* When the story makes the following assumption:
-->Each and every one of them were different, while at the same time they were exactly alike.
--->'''Mono''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Yep, they are all made of the same plastic.]]
--->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': It's like they were toys or something.
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': Especially when you removed their cutie mark, they would all be equal!
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[InsaneTrollLogic But if everyone's equal, then]] ''[[InsaneTrollLogic no one]]'' [[InsaneTrollLogic is equal.]]
--->'''[=PanzerThiefZero=]''': How can you be different, and also be exactly alike?
--->'''[=JofY=]''': [[ShapedLikeItself Friendship.]]
--->'''[=Dragonborne=]''': [[AWizardDidIt Magic.]]
--->'''Nox''': [[TakeThat Believing.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Flaming chainsaws.
--->'''Topher''': Paying real-world money for cosmetics.
* When Nightmare Moon mentions her plan to prevent another loss, [=Crazy56U=] explains how hard that would be [[StealthPun with a diagram of a series of emojis]] [[http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/cadbortion-loss-edits arranged in a certain way.]]
-->'''Topher''': Damn, WesternAnimation/TheEmojiMovie got [[DarkerAndEdgier DAAAAARK]].
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[TakeThat I don't think that movie needs help to get worse.]]
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [[SelfServingMemory What are you talking about guys? That movie doesn't exist.]]
* "Behold Equestria's secret artifact; [[WhamLine the Element of Love.]]"
-->'''Mono''': [[TranquilFury *breathes heavily* Out of all the goddamn elements...]]
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [[RunningGag Another one?!]]
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': Oh fucking damn, not another one of those.... [[CallBack We had enough with that fucking kid and his guitar!]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[RageBreakingPoint (promptly gets up and repeatedly kicks a hole into the wall)]]
-->'''[=SC276=]''': ''this thing's shown up like five times now''
-->'''Giginss''': A 7th Element now? Let me guess, no, wait, I don't need to guess, that OC is going to get it. WHY IS A SEVENTH ELEMENT HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?!
-->'''[=JofY=]''': Boy, Cadance is going to have some bad placement issues...
-->'''Dragonborne''': Nevermind that, how the hell would ''this'' affect the other Elements of Harmony? Is this gonna be another Element of Leadership bullshit gag?
-->'''[[Anime/DigimonAdventure PanzerT]][[{{Narm}} hiefZero]]''': "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7tJWVKgxgc I can feel you LOVGUH! It's making me STRONGUUUH!]]"
-->'''Topher''': [[FreakOut *Heavy breathing* Because what other elements of good friendships could there be other than love? There's no other aspects that could be much more interesting to explore, like trust or forgiveness, NOPE! SEVENTH ELEMENT'S ALWAYS FUCKING LOVE! ALWAYS AND FOREVER, THAT'S ALL THERE IS! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! DURR! DURRRRRRRR! OOH, I'M AN AUTHOR AND I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING TO WRITE ABOUT IN A WORLD FULL OF NEARLY GODDAMN LIMITLESS POSSIBILITIES AND WELL-ROUNDED CHARACTERS! DURRRRR, I KNOW! YOU KNOW HOW THERE ARE SIX THINGS? WHAT IF THERE WERE SEVEN? OOOOOOO IM SO FUCKIN CREATIVE, OH WAIT EACH THING HAS TO REPRESENT A VIRTUE, DURRR WHADDO I DO? DURRRRRR I KNOW! I'LL DO LOVE! PEOPLE THINK IT'S GOOD BUT IT'S NOT SOMETHING EASY TO QUANTIFY, SO IT CAN BE USED BY ANYONE INCLUDING MY SOOPER COOL OC!]] [+++[[FreakOut DUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRR!]]+++] I... I need a minute.
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Anyway, isn't love [[Film/TheFifthElement The]] ''[[Film/TheFifthElement Fifth]]'' [[Film/TheFifthElement Element]]?
-->'''[=LimpBrisket=]''': [[StealthPun You'd think the Element of Surprise would be more helpful.]]
** [[FalseReassurance Don't worry,]] [[FromBadToWorse it's dumber than you think.]]
--->They knew that the seventh one had went missing during the Day of the Descension,
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': You know, the day they invented the elevator?
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': It was way better than the escalator.
--->so it was not a problem to them any longer.
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': For now..
---->'''[=ThatUnknownpony=]''': Even if we don't know shit about this "day of whatever".
---->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[SarcasmFailure No.]] "Day of the ''Descension''". The "Day of Whatever" was two weeks later.
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': "[[InsaneTrollLogic After all, that was the past, and the past is a myth.]]"
---->'''[=SC276=]''': And ''now'' I've forgotten if "Shepherd of Fire" ''had'' this thing already, [[TemptingFate because I feel like it does.]] (checks) ...Oh right, that was the Element of ''Leadership''. [[WhamLine So]] ''[[WhamLine this]]'' [[WhamLine bunch of Love is the]] ''[[WhamLine EIGHTH]]'' [[WhamLine Element.]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[BrickJoke (gets up again; slams head through wall)]]
* Behold: when an OC frightens Spike:
-->"No wait, I was joking! Please let me go!" said Spike with fear. "Too late now dragon!" said Bolty, just as he prepared to strike.
--->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [Spike] "[[DullSurprise Gee, what a way to go.]]"
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Spike] "Okay, look, seriously, ''[[FridgeLogic really think about this]]''! Is it ''really worth'' killing someone [[RunningGag who will not]] ''[[RunningGag stay]]'' [[RunningGag dead?!]]"
--->'''[=Dragonborne=]''': [Spike] "Oh well, at least I have an infinite supply of [[VideoGame/FinalFantasy Phoenix Downs.]]"
* When Eder runs afoul of Nightmare Moon...
-->"You are the one who almost brought eternal night to Equestria!" said the red alicorn to is enemy.
--->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [[RunningGag "We would have frozen to death!"]]
--->'''[=Mono=]''': "And died!"
--->'''[=Dragonborne=]''': And the other half of the planet would've turned into [[ShiftingSandLand sandy desert,]] given time. I'm amazed nobody even considered what happens over in Eternal Dayland.
--->'''[=SC276=]''': So, [[VideoGame/SuperMarioGalaxy Equestria becomes Flamefreeze Galaxy?]] So... [[FridgeHorror wait, if it's eternal night on one side and eternal day on the other, what's on the "equator?"]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks (Rewritten)]]
* When the setting of [[OnlyInFlorida New Zargoza, Florida]] is reestablished:
-->'''Mono''': The best fictional town to live! Well, except for [[WesternAnimation/TheFairlyOddParents Dimmsdale]]... and [[WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants Bikini Bottom]]... and [[WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb Danville]], and [[WesternAnimation/StarVsTheForcesOfEvil Echo Creek]], [[WesternAnimation/TheAdventuresOfJimmyNeutronBoyGenius Retroville]], [[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy Quahog]], [[WesternAnimation/AmericanDad Langley Falls]], [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Springfield]], WesternAnimation/GravityFalls, [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic Ponyville]], [[WesternAnimation/TheLoudHouse Royal Woods]], [[WesternAnimation/DannyPhantom Amity Park]], [[WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender Ba Sing Se]], [[WesternAnimation/Ducktales1987 Duck]][[WesternAnimation/Ducktales2017 burg]], [[WesternAnimation/StevenUniverse Beach City]], [[WesternAnimation/HeyArnold Hillwood City]], [[ComicBook/{{Batman}} Gotham City]], [[ComicBook/{{Superman}} Metropolis]], [[WesternAnimation/TUFFPuppy Petropolis]], [[WesternAnimation/TeenTitans2003 Jump City]], [[WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}} New New York]], [[WesternAnimation/CourageTheCowardlyDog Nowhere]], [[WesternAnimation/TheJetsons Orbit City]], [[WesternAnimation/DarkwingDuck Saint Canard]], [[WesternAnimation/ThomasAndFriends Sodor]], WesternAnimation/SouthPark, [[WesternAnimation/ThePowerpuffGirls Townsville]], [[WesternAnimation/MyLifeAsATeenageRobot Tremorton]], [[OverlyLongGag the list goes on...]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Uh, Mono, [[TakeThat I count]] ''[[TakeThat six]]'' [[TakeThat things wrong with that list.]]
-->'''Mono''': [[TemptingFate Enlighten me. I only count one. Maybe two.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Dimmsdale, Bikini Bottom, Danville, Quahog, Langley Falls, South Park.
-->'''Mono''': ...How is Bikini B-
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': I am not even going to let you finish that sentence, you'd have to be a fucking ''dumbass'' to not understand why living in Bikini Bottom would be horrid.
-->'''Mono''': ...Fair point, but-
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''No.''
-->'''Mono''': *sighs* Fiiiiiiiine... *crosses his arms and grumbles*
* During Chapter 6's musical number, [=Crazy56U=] decides "[w]hy ''sing''... when you can ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIdLRftdrH8 dance]]''" and proceeds to belt out "The Cha Cha Slide". The end result is that [[EpicFail he breaks his leg when axe kicking the table as his climax]].
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Ring's Birthday Special #2 (Around The Bend)]]
* Because of Twilight Sparkle being so extremely anal retentive, [=SC276=] and [=Crazy56U=] come up with their own independent theories: either Twilight in this fic is actually a poorly programmed robot, or Twilight [[TookALevelInJerkass took]] ''[[TookALevelInJerkass several]]'' [[TookALevelInJerkass levels in jerkass]] after being forced into Alcoholic's Anonymous.
* Twilight trying to determine what street she is on leads into a discussion about the practicality of ''Fanfic/FriendshipIsOptimal''.
-->Of course, she mused, in giving the unknown street a name - even an arbitrary name, a label she herself had chosen - had she not in fact just defined the street, making it in actuality 'Determinate Street'?
--->'''[=SC276=]''': See, this is why "Friendship is Optimal" can't happen: [[LogicBomb the AI would get stuck deciding the best variable name.]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[InternetCounterattack Also because 4chan would DDOS and hack the fuck out of CelestAI the literal second she tried anything.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[RootingForTheEmpire And people say 4chan never does anything good.]]
* "The ponies in the carriage were screaming, filled with horror and dread."
-->'''[=Mono=]''': As opposed to screaming with joy.
-->'''[=CaptianPipsqueak=]''': Or screaming orgasmically.
-->'''[=PanzerTheifZero=]''': Pictured: Us right now.
-->'''[=CaptianPipsqueak=]''': ... ... ...[-[[ComicallyMissingThePoint Screaming orgasmically]]?-]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''OKAY MOVING ON''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:SCARY STORY 2 and A Scary Story]]
* From "A Scary Story":
** Topher is in the Halloween spirit:
--->'''Topher''': *bursts out of a hatch in the floor wearing a Halloween costume [[CheapCostume consisting of several twigs taped to his body]]* [[ComicBook/GuardiansOfTheGalaxy I AM GROOT!]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''[[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe Oh, what farm fresh Hell is this...]]''
*** [[OverlyLongGag This bit lasts for several lines]], not helped by ''Pip's'' contribution to it:
---->'''Topher''': [I am Groot] "I am Groot, I ''AM'' Groot... '''I AM GROOOOOT!'''"
---->'''[=CaptianPipsqueak=]''': You are Topher, you ''ARE'' Topher... ''YOU ARE TOPHERRRRRR!''
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': For the record, this (gestures towards Topher and Pip) is [[TakeThat the worst bit ever done here]]. [[SelfDeprecation And yes,]] I ''am'' including "LIES! Shut up." in this assessment.
---->'''[=CaptianPipsqueak=]''': [[NeverMyFault Blame Topher;]] ''I'm''' just trying to return him to sanity.
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''You are just as much at fault here.''
---->'''[=CaptianPipsqueak=]''': '''''LIES.'''''
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[RunningGagStumbles (refuses to say it out of spite)]]
---->'''Topher''': ...I am Groot.
** "that would prevent a pony doing something,"
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Because doing things is bad. [[InsaneTrollLogic If we didn't do things, none of the bad stuff in history would have happened. Trust me, I went to college.]]
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [[TakeThat Including this fic.]] Trust me, so did I.
** "She became a sergeant and many a night was spent on sentry duty[.]"
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Because guns ''also'' now spontaneously exist in this story.
--->'''Calico''': Hey, man, if ''VideoGame/ShadowTheHedgehog'' could do it, so can this fic!
--->'''[=CaptianPipsqueak=]''': Actually, guns exist everywhere at all times, it's just they're invisible when not used. [[ArtisticLicenseHistory The extinction of the dinosaurs?]] There's a ''reason'' why nobody's really sure exactly how that happened.
--->'''[=SC276=]''': ...Because there's more than one and everyone's obsessed with being "correct" over accuracy?
--->'''[=CaptianPipsqueak=]''': Which sounds more fun to you: slowly freezing to death or going out in a blaze of gunfire and explosions?
--->'''[=SC276=]''': ''[[StatingTheSimpleSolution Not dying.]]''
** "Goodbye,Granny, I'm a Cutie Mark Crusader now."
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[ItsBeenDone Too bad the girls]] ''already'' tried [[Series/QuantumLeap Cutie Mark Crusader Quantum Leapers]] last week...
--->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': And it failed miserably.
--->'''Topher''': They're still not sure where Scootaloo's soul went, but her body just waddles around and clucks now.
--->'''[=CaptianPipsqueak=]''': The fact that nobody has clued in is... ''worrying''.
* From "SCARY STORY 2":
** After Ring explains that every OC name in this fic is in all-caps, [=Crazy56U=] states this is the SpiritualSuccessor to ''[[Series/{{MASH}} The Grand Rapids O'Reillys]]''.
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [[SarcasmMode Great,]] ''M*A*S*H'' fanfiction [[LockedOutOfTheLoop is a thing I didn't need to know existed ever at all.]]
** "Apple Bloom" [[NoIndoorVoice would like to let you all know]] that [[BadLiar she is totally, really Apple Bloom, for real]].
--->there she sees that Applejack and Applebloom is headed her way with Granny Smith's body.
---->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': ...Already decomposing on top of their backs.
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': And Applebloom vomiting all over the place. Seriously, poor kid.
---->'''[=SC276=]''': Dragging it behind them at the end of her lasso.
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Applejack] "Come on, Apple Bloom, the sooner we have [[Fanfic/CupcakesSergeantSprinkles Pinkie stuff the corpse]], the sooner we can pretend Granny didn't die!"
----->["Apple Bloom"] "I SEVERELY QUESTION THE LOGIC OF THIS DECISION BEING ACTUAL DEFINITELY REAL APPLE BLOOM AND ALL."
** "*Knock Knock*"
--->'''Mono''': ...Who's there?
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[WebVideo/LasagnaCat Jon Arbuckle.]]
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [[TemptingFate Jon Arbuckle who?]]
--->'''Calico''': [[BaitAndSwitch It's Knuckles.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:The Republic of Harmony]]
* "*Ten minutes later*"
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[MythologyGag Darth Daybreaker and all her minions]] [[FanFic/TheConversionBureau were tricked into being at ground zero of a fucking bomb!]]
-->'''Ringmaster''': [[TakeThat Only for Daybreaker to get really mad]] [[FixFic and rewrite everything]] [[TheBadGuyWins so that she wins at the last second and turns all the humans into-]] what were we talking about again?
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ...I ''wanna'' say Star Wars...
* [=ThatUnknownPony=] winds up [[ExplainExplainOhCrap accidentially realizing that]], because Celestia has taken the role of Anakin, Luna [[UnfortunateImplications has taken the role of Padme]]. Or, as [=Crazy56U=] decides to explain it, "Luna's gonna give birth to Creator/MarkHamill".
** [[BrickJoke And when, later on,]] Luna names her newly born son "Skywalker":
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ... (pumps fists) CALLED IT
--->'''Mono''': [[SarcasmMode Gee]], how the fuck did you come up with that name...
* This fan fic was supposed to be a pony-style remake of ''Film/RevengeOfTheSith''. So naturally Han Solo and Chewbacca show up near the end, and it's revealed that ''the events of the actual Franchise/StarWars films '''still happened in this universe'''''.
-->The human known as Han solo
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''[[Film/TheForceAwakens LET THE DEAD REST YOU CUR!]]''
--->'''Mono''': [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer Yep!]] Remember that time Han fucking Solo appeared in Episode 3? Me neither!
--->'''[=PanzerThiefZero=]''': Well, I don't even remember the film in the first place.
--->'''[=SC276=]''': '''''[[FreakOut HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING TRY TO FIND A PONY]]'''''\\
'''''IT'S JUST STRAIGHT UP HAN SOLO'''''\\
'''''AND HE WAS ONLY IN HELPING THE REBELLION BECAUSE HE WAS GETTING PAID UNTIL THE END'''''\\
'''''WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU AUTHOR'''''
* When Han talks with the others about Darth Vader, [=Crazy56U=] decides to go an alternative route:
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Stare upon his majesty and tremble! (picture of [[Film/BackToTheFuture1 Darth Vader, the extra-terrestrial from the planet Vulcan]])
-->'''Mono''': Oh my god... I never knew he looked so much like Creator/MichaelJFox...
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': The magic of cinema, my man.
** According to [=Crazy56U=], the best weapon in all of ''Star Wars'' was Marty's Walkman, with the "[[Music/VanHalen Edward Van Halen]]" tape.
* "'Jump.' Han said in severe seriousness."
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[WaxingLyrical Might as]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EqWN4fT79s well.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:The Tale of No Face]]
* Right off the bat, [[ThisIsGonnaSuck we get a sign of what this week's riff is going to be like]]:
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''Finding a fic was [[PaintingTheMedium dick]] this week.''
** To elaborate, it was decided practically last minute to forgo a shipping-themed Obscure Crossover Shuffle in-lieu of a simple one-shot riff... which almost was borderline impossible due to ''no viable topic being found''. With Ring constantly finding fics that were too long, not rules-approporiate, didn't actually ''end'', or just did not fit the Valentine's Day theme (one fic in particular, according to [=Crazy56U=], was "basically the fucking literary equivalent to ''[[RefugeInAudacity brain cancer]]''"), to the point where '''two hours''' passed and [=Crazy56U=] was literally ''begging'' Ring to abandon the theme... whereupon he almost immediately found what became dubbed "the Anti-Love Equation".
** [[FromBadToWorse And then Ring abruptly realized at the end of the intro something he forgot.]]
--->'''Ringmaster''': ...Damnit, [[LateToTheRealization I just realized]] that [[CuttingTheKnot we should've actually done a fighting-game-related fic]] because ''VideoGame/ThemsFightinHerds'' is out next week...
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[RageBreakingPoint (legitimately upset and angry)]] ''[[PaintingTheMedium I fucking hate everything.]]''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Obscure Crossover Shuffle #3]]
* From "[=5OULS ON D1SPLAY=]: Forest of Light":
** Due to most of the fic being VideoGame/{{Klonoa}} [[SongFic singing]] [[Music/{{Eminem}} "I'm Not Afraid"]] to Fluttershy, [=Crazy56U=] chooses to sing [[Music/MeatLoaf "Paradise By the Dashboard Light"]], enlisting the help of [=SC276=] and [=PanzerThiefZero=]. For the record, [=Crazy56U=] gave [=SC276=] [[HoYay Ellen Foley's part]].
--->We'll walk this road together, through the storm
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''And I never had a girl looking any better than you did!''
---->'''[=SC276=]''': [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Why do I have a feeling I know what part I'm getting...]]
*** Don't worry, [[BlatantLies he loved it.]]
---->You can try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay 'em
----->'''[=SC276 and Crazy56U=]''': '''Cause we were barely seventeen and we were barely dressed!''
----->'''[=SC276=]''': [--[[TranquilFury You owe me...]]--]
----->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [--Fully aware.--]
** Meanwhile, Mono (upset that he missed out) chose to do two different songs out of spite of the use of Eminem: [[Music/VanillaIce "Ice Ice Baby" and "Ninja Rap"]].
* From "Pony JAWS":
** "It was a nice night in Equestria. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were running along the shores of the beach."
--->'''[=PanzerThiefZero=]''': Cue ''Series/{{Baywatch}}'' theme.
--->'''[[ExactWords Crazy56U]]''': [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEEDr6Kwnyw K.]]
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': ...''Series/{{Baywatch}}'' has [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baywatch_Nights a spin-off?!]] ''What?!''
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[TakeThat Not so much a spin-off as a car crash.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Mother Pinkie Pie]]
* Right off the bat, [=Crazy56U=] is ''livid'', screaming at Ring over the choice of this fic. Why? [[ChekhovsGun This is the "brain cancer" fic Crazy56U mentioned back in "The Tale of No Face".]]
** It gets worse when [=Crazy56U=] begins [[RageBreakingPoint issuing out death threats]] after deciding to properly explain what the story is:
--->Pinkie Pie and her children:
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Okay, SC and Ring ''tried'' to explain this, [[TakeThat but fuck them]]: this is a [[FanSequel fan sequel]] to a story called "[[https://www.fimfiction.net/story/169295/we-regret-to-inform-you We Regret to Inform You]]". The story concerns [[PromotionToParent Pinkie Pie becoming the legal guardian of Pound and Pumpkin Cake after Mr. and Mrs. Cake died from weather-related issues]]. [[SincerityMode It's actually pretty good.]] And it ''does not deserve a fucking fan sequel, let alone THIS ONE''.
---->'''Ringmaster''': [[KickTheDog Want to know what makes it worse?]]
---->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[TemptingFate Than the fact that it's a fan sequel?]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''I swear to God-''
---->'''Ringmaster''': That other thing that this is a sequel to that I mentioned? [[FromBadToWorse Now-deleted MLD ripoff.]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''[[PaintingTheMedium If I knew that I could get away with it,]] [[CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon you would be erased from existence with nothing more than a THOUGHT.]]''
---->'''[=JofY=]''': [[UnconventionalLearningExperience But then we wouldn't learn valuable life lessons from riffing!]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''THEN GO TO COLLEGE''
---->'''[=SC276=]''': [[HereWeGoAgain So, basically we're doing "SCARY STORY 2" all over again.]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''[--you will be next after ring i swear by all that is good and pure--]''
---->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [--(insinuating that Crazy understands the concepts of 'good' and 'pure')--] *AHEM!* [[{{Malaproper}} Let's get the road on the show!]]
---->'''Mono''': [[KickTheDog Ring, you do know FimFetch still exists, right? Just sayin'...]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''YOU WILL BE '''THIRD'''''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Troll Shuffle (actually Hell Shuffle)]]
* Apparently, despite the shuffle coming out on AprilFoolsDay, it took ''quite'' some time to actually go live.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''Thank fucking Christ'', I was waiting ''all goddamn day'' for this to go live, I wanted us to tackle some good ol' fashioned troll fics for ''God knows'' how long...
-->'''Mono''': I genuinely don't know if you're being sarcastic or not.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Mono, this took so long to go live, I was ''this close'' to [[MoneyDearBoy bribing Ring with real money]] to make it come out before today ended. ''[[SincerityMode I am not.]]''
* From "The Spiderses":
** "[=TWlilight=] opened the [[RougeAnglesOfSatin pook]]"
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': ...there was blood ''everywhere''...
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': It's a regular book, [[{{Portmanteau}} but the cover is made from the hide of]] Literature/WinnieThePooh.
-->'''[=SC276=]''': ''Dude, don't spoil [[Film/ChristopherRobin the Christopher Robin movie!]]''
* Following "The Spiderses", [[TheReveal Ring bluntly states]] that there was no way they would ''actually'' do a troll fic shuffle, [[WelcomeToHell before announcing the shuffle's true intent]]. This is soon followed by [=Crazy56U=], who was arguably the ''most'' excited for this shuffle, [[BrokenMasquerade not even]] ''[[BrokenMasquerade pretending]]'' [[BrokenMasquerade to be upset]], since he knew Ring would do this ever since he gave him the idea.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Anniversary Shuffle]]
* Ring had gone to bed in the middle of material gathering, resulting in [=SC276=] and [=Crazy56U=] being the ones in charge of the shuffle. And apparently, the set up for the document ''could've'' gone better.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': These lines are SC's doing, not mine. These chapters ''do'' have names, [[CreatorsApathy but since they aren't actually in the text, I couldn't be bothered to dump them in here]]. Use your imagination.
-->'''[=SC276=]''': [-Knew I should've done the setup myself...-]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[VitriolicBestBuds I love you too.]]
* From "Forever Faithful":
** "Anywho, the story is 'Forever Faithful' by Konseiga, [[DownerBeginning and it starts with Twilight's funeral happy fucking anniversary.]]"
** Because of Rainbow snapping at one of the palbearers when he tried saying some words at Twilight's wake, it is reinterpreted as [[AdaptationalVillainy Rainbow being mad that someone wanted to say something nice about the deceased.]]
--->The rainbow pegasus cursed under her breath, turning to face the gathered crowd.
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Rainbow Dash] "''Anybody else wanna say something nice about the deceased?!''"
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [Rainbow] "If you do, know that I'll be judging you."
** As it stands, Twilight had died due to being struck by lightning from an out-of-control storm. The riffers' response?
--->'''Mono''': [[SarcasmMode It's not like there were any pegasi to save her...]]
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[SarcasmMode Especially none that are friends with her...]]
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [Rainbow Dash] "And it was ''[[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial totally not my fault.]]"
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[BornUnlucky Twilight wasn't even trying to help with the storm; she was going to the post office to get stamps, when she got struck by lightning.]] Derpy is of the opinion that [[ComicallyMissingThePoint it's the post office's fault Twilight died, and is campaigning to have it be destroyed.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[BorrowedCatchphrase The post office just didn't know what went wrong.]]
*** And ''despite'' having died in an accident, and having been nothing but kind and helpful to the residents and Ponyville, [[KickTheDog it's quickly assumed and accepted that Twilight wound up going to Hell.]]
** "Twilight's th' only one that could've given me a run for my money in honesty.["]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[HilariousInHindsight And now,]] a dramatic recreation of a scene [[Recap/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagicS8E7HorsePlay from Season 8.]]
----->[Applejack] "Twilight, maybe we should tell Celestia [[BadBadActing she sucks at acting...]]"
----->[Princess Celestia] "[[SpeakOfTheDevil (walks in) Oh, sorry, am I interrupting something?]]"
----->[Twilight Sparkle] "[[DiggingYourselfDeeper (basically panicking) NOPE NOTHING AT ALL WE CAN'T WAIT FOR THE PLAY TOMORROW YOU ARE SUCH A GREAT ACTOR]]"
----->[Princess Celestia] "Aw, shucks..."
----->[Applejack] "[[EnragedByIdiocy (literally about to have a stroke)]]"
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[InVinoVeritas She was only honest when she got drunk.]]
--->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [[TheAlcoholic Then again, she was always drunk.]]
** "Celestia opened her mouth to tell her sister off, but was interrupted."
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Twilight Sparkle] "[[ReportsOfMyDeathWereGreatlyExaggerated (kicks door open)]] [[RageBreakingPoint EXCUSE ME,]] ''[[RageBreakingPoint WHY]]'' [[RageBreakingPoint DO MY FRIENDS THINK I DIED TODAY?!]]"
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [Princess Celestia] "[[HeavySleeper I tried waking you for an hour!]] [[NeverMyFault It's not]] ''[[NeverMyFault my]]'' [[NeverMyFault fault you were coming down from a moonshine bender!]]"
** [[TheyKilledKennyAgain Apparently, Spike died enough times that his spirits litter Hell.]]
--->''Still, it's kind of lonely. I seem to be the only pony here, though I can occasionally hear whispers.''
---->'''[=Mono=]''': Oh fuck, [[CallBack does she have shoulder angels as well?]]
---->'''[=SC276=]''': ''[[TranquilFury don't even fucking joke about that]]''
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': "Granted, they ''are'' from Spike's multiple deaths... [[ARareSentence ...it's honestly kind of weird to put that down into words, to be frank...]]"
** As [=Crazy56U=] describes[[note]]due to seeing it described as being a scary story, and deciding to read it for himself... only to realize "''things get stupid real fucking quick''"[[/note]], the latter half of the fanfic consists of "''[[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext Zombie!Twilight flooding Celestia's inbox]]''".
--->"There's no way..." Celestia muttered.
---->'''[=SC276=]''': [Celestia] "This is so ''goddamn fucking bullshit.''"
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Princess Celestia] "''how can you send mail from hell''"
* From "my love for you":
** [=Crazy56U=] compares this fanfic to doing Speed, given his theory that ''the Author'' did while writing it, as illustrated [[ThisIsGonnaSuck in the literal first line]]:
--->it was a sunny day in ponyvill the sun was shining on one pony rainbow dash she was learning how to use the sonic rain boom.
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[FromBadToWorse ...and to make things worse,]] this "story" is three chapters long, ''and each fucking chapter is a GIANT BLOCK OF TEXT.''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:The Factory]]
* "Anyone with a pulse"
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]:''' (proceeds to check pulse) ... ... ... [[OhCrap (taps wrist) ... ...uh oh...]]
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]:''' Huh. And I thought we were just dead ''inside''...
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Ponymon]]
* "Maybe Twilight knows what you are. She is the smartest in Ponyville."
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Twilight Sparkle] "([[TheAlcoholic fucking plastered;]] [[InstantlyProvenWrong is trying to shove a pineapple down Spike's throat]]) ''BLEND DAMN YOU, I WANT SMOOTHIE!''"
* "Nothing in my studies say anything about a Pokemon would you happen to know anything about Pokemon."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': [[RunningGag Pokemon Pokemon, Pokemon. Pokemon? Pokemon!]]
-->'''[=Fallen Prime=]''': Gotta catch 'em* all! (* 'em = instances of the word "Pokémon")
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[TakeAThirdOption ...]]Franchise/{{Digimon}}. [[CowboyBebopAtHisComputer Digital heroes.]] Digimon are the cha- (is hit with several bricks)
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [[FailedASpotCheck Yes that is what the crossover is about.]]
-->'''[=SC276=]''': (throws another brick) ''[[SeriousBusiness Get the lyrics right next time!]]''
* After the group's fight with Red and Charizard ends with Luna [[DisproportionateRetribution banishing them to the Moon offscreen]], [[FridgeHorror the obvious is pointed out]]:
-->" After you were knocked out Luna fought the charizard and banished It and Red to the moon,
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (matter-of-factly) [[SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome So they are dead.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Instead of, y'know, ''doing that in the first place.''
--->'''Fallen Prime''': ''[[PaintingTheMedium Oh.]]''
-->it was so awesome!" Rainbow Dash [[DissonantSerenity said full of enthusiasm.]]
--->'''Fallen Prime''': "Yeah! ''[[AxCrazy Murder!]]''"
--->'''Mono''': And then VideoGame/PokemonMoon happened.
** This is then followed up by Quilava's [[CapsLock immediate]] [[WhatTheHellHero reaction]] to this [[AlternativeCharacterInterpretation being spun]] into Quilava [[TooDumbToLive not knowing the Moon is real]]:
--->" Mt. Moon or The Moon?" I ask
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[TakeAThirdOption Let's meet in the middle.]] [[AccidentalInnuendo Mt. The Moon.]]
---->'''[=SC276=]''': Kinky.
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [[CargoShip Luna's already done that.]]
--->" The Moon the one in the sky silly there is no Mt. Moon in equestria." Twilight explained
--->" WHAT ARE YOU CRAZY!!!
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Quilava] "'''''[[EskimosArentReal WHY WOULD THE MOON BE IN THE SKY,]] [[RageBreakingPoint THAT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE,]] [[SeriousBusiness I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND YOU STUPID DUMB HORSE!]]'''''"
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [[JustForFun/IThoughtItMeant No, I'm BittplexMutt.]]
---->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[SmallNameBigEgo and I am the mighty Captain Pipsqueak.]]
--->WHY DID YOU DO THAT!!!" I start yelling
--->" He attacked us with a dragon." Twilight tells me
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Because... [[InsaneTrollLogic that's why the Moon exists?]]
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [Twilight] "It was self defense."
---->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Also the moon was lonely without Luna there.
--->" THAT'S HOW POKEMON BATTLES WORK! IT'S A FIGHT BETWEEN TWO POKEMON UNTIL ONE'S UNCONSCIOUS HE HAD KNOW IDEA YOU'RE NOT POKEMON!!!" I continue yelling
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Twilight Sparkle] "(confused) A-and how does that relate to the Moon being in the sk-"
----->[Quilava] "[[KillItWithFire (engulfs Twilight with fire)]] '''''DIE'''''"
---->'''Mono''': [Twilight] "''Well, if you were a being clear instead of shouting like a moron-''"
----->[Quilava] "''[[NeverMyFault FUCK YOU, YOU'RE WRONG!]]''"
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [Quilava] [[CaptainObvious "And now that guy's gonna die!"]]
---->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': ...so this guy's infuriated because they're ''winning''. [[SkewedPriorities Sure.]]
* This was actually a shuffler due to Mono suggesting an entire fanfic series, with Ring treating it as such by introing each fic covered. It took him until the halfway point [[CreatorsApathy to abandon the pretense]].
-->'''Ringmaster''': Prepare for... y'know, no, these fics aren't worth the effort for that.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe It took you]] ''[[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe until now]]'' [[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe to give up...]]
-->'''[=SC276=]''': ''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck Well that just FILLS me with confidence for this next one.]]''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Silver Quill is now Officially "Cannon"!]]
* Right out of the gate, [[ThisIsGonnaSuck the quality standard is established]]:
-->'''Ringmaster''': We want to do more riffs related to special events or big media releases in general, and doing one for the one-year anniversary of [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyTheMovie2017 the movie's]] release seemed like a good idea. And it just so happened that the only other format-applicable fic written by [[FiveSecondForeshadowing one of the worst authors from the first half of the year]] perfectly lined up with that.
-->'''[=SC276=]''': [[TemptingFate Do I even want to know who?]] Honestly, most of this year has just been a blur of time, so if it ''does'' elicit a reaction from me, that's ''really'' bad news.
-->'''Ringmaster''': [[WhamLine This week's fic is by Kikio3000,]] [[CallBack also known as the author of brain cancer.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': '''''[[AtomicFBomb FUCK]]'''''
-->'''[=SC276=]''': ''[[RememberedTooLAte OH RIGHT, PINKIE'S MOM.]]'' This is just going to be ''GREAT''.
* "I see that Bronies' love["]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[WaxingLyrical Look,]] [[Music/TheDarkness I believe in a thing called love,]] and I can tell you that what just happened, [[Music/BonnieTyler it ain't got nothing to do with love]]. I mean, yeah, [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_Is_a_Many-Splendored_Thing_(song) love is a many splendored thing,]] [[Film/AnOfficerAndAGentleman love lifts us up where we belong,]] [[Film/MoulinRouge all you need is love,]] but ''[[Music/NineInchNails there is no love here.]]''
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': ... ... ... [[SlowClap *slowly begins clapping*]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[ToughActToFollow I could've gone farther, but I kinda blew my load with "Elephant Love Medley".]]
* "Silver Quill would have drowned if"
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': "-God had just decided to look the other way."
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Boy, God can ''really'' be an asshole sometimes, can't he?
* "This air bubble is like the bouncy and plastic Wubble Bubble ball at home!"
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[LockedOutOfTheLoop The... what now? Does that even exist?]]
-->'''[=SC276=]''': ''I'm'' not looking that up, [[WrongGenreSavvy I'm not putting that]] [[EmbarrassingBrowserHistory in my search history.]]
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[StatingTheSimpleSolution Then use your privacy setting.]] That's what it's ''for''.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[StunnedSilence ... ... ...]][[NotSoDire it's just]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2UAzduRseY an As Seen on TV toy,]] [[TookALevelInDumbass you]] ''[[TookALevelInDumbass dumbasses.]]''
* On the topic of Twilight's tenure as Princess at the time of the riff, it's mentioned [[TakeThat the only real stand out thing the show had her do]] [[ItMakesSenseInContext was]] [[Recap/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagicS4E19TradeYa "sending Fluttershy off to slavery"]].
* When Silver Quill and Skystar start dicussing [[OlderThanTheyLook the]] [[YoungerThanTheyLook differences]] [[MayDecemberRomance in their ages]], due to being a hippogriff and a seapony respectively, [=Crazy56U=] decides to pull up [[ObligatoryJoke a certain]] WebComic/AwkwardZombie [[http://www.awkwardzombie.com/comic/minor-setback strip]].
-->Skystar tilted her head in confusion.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ... ... ... ... ... [[GenreSavvy (quietly opens up Google)]] [-Yep, I know where this is goin'...-]
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': "She was wondering why he believed he [[VideoGame/FireEmblemAwakening aged like a dragon.]]"
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Aw, cool, we're on the same page, then...
-->She was confused because she didn't know that Silver was so young;
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (Googles "awkward zombie jail")
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': ...I must give you a cookie for that.
* When the "plot" devolves into [[NoPlotNoProblem a large blob of nothing]], Mono makes an ill-advised decision:
-->'''Mono''': Hey, ummm... your little back and forth is fun and all, but... can something actually, y'know, happen?
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[SarcasmMode Hah, expecting something to happen? In this story?]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''[[WhatTheHellHero Why do you want Kelly to write a narrative, what the fuck is wrong with you, whose side are you on?]]''
* "The heat of their happiness and joy nearly burned them -"
-->'''[[CrossesTheLineTwice Crazy56U]]''': [[Recap/BetterCallSaulS3E10Lantern Much like Chuck McGill.]]
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': "-that it burned them to a crisp."
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[BlackComedy ...damn, I already made the]] ''Series/BetterCallSaul'' [[BlackComedy joke...]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:2018 Holiday Special (The Super Smash Brothers of Melee)]]
* ""he said through his gas mask."
-->'''[=JofY=]''': [Zelda] "You know I can't hear you when you're wearing it, rig-"
---->[Roy] *Muffled exposition*
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (is wearing a gas mask) I don't know what you're talking about, ''VideoGame/HuntDownTheFreeman'' [[InsaneTrollLogic taught us that]] [[SpecialEffectsFailure you can speak clear as day when wearing one of these.]]
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': So now he's talking like Bane from ''[[Film/TheDarkKnightRises Dark Knight Rises]]''.
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': "No one cared who I was until I put on the mask."
-->'''Mono''': Suddenly [[Recap/DoctorWhoS27E9TheEmptyChild I'm]] [[Recap/DoctorWhoS27E10TheDoctorDances getting]] Series/DoctorWho flashbacks [[TemptingFate and I don't know why...]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (still wearing gas mask; to Mono) ''[[TheCorruption Are you my mummy?]]''
-->'''[=SC276=]''': [[FreakOut (screams and beans Crazy with frying pan)]]
-->'''Topher''': [[VideoGame/TeamFortress2 The Pyro confirmed for Smash Ultimate!]]
* Who, exactly, is Master Hand, you may be wondering...
-->"It had No eyes, ears, nose, or mouth..."
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''[[VideoGame/DonkeyKong64 He has no style!]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBercdd0YDw He has no face!]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGm39CweSj4 This monkey is a fucking disgrace!]]''
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': But what if it needs to ''[[Literature/IHaveNoMouthAndIMustScream scream?]]''
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[CrazyPrepared I am]] ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBUXeIqalVI so]]'' [[Music/TimmyTurnersGrandDad glad you asked...]]
-->"it was just a huge floating glove, it did however posses great magical powers,"
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': For example. [[FlippingTheBird (holds up hand: flips the bird)]] Do you know any other being that can do (points with other hand) that?
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Yeah, and we can do it twice! *gives the middle finger with both hands*
* Given how Mykan's version of Mr. Game and Watch is essentially the prototype [[TheScrappy for Rhymey]], everyone reacts [[TakeThatScrappy in kind]].
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': And ''speaking'' of me flipping things off! [[RunningGag (picture of him flipping off a Mr. Game & Watch Amiibo)]]
-->'''[=PanzerThiefZero=]''': ...meh. Still better than rhyming 'minute' and 'huh'.
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': ''...even in this fic we can't escape the Rhymey.''
-->'''Topher''': OH MY GOD GAMEY, SHUT THE FUCK UP!
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': ... [[RunningGagStumbles Doesn't have the same feel to it.]]
** And then it turns out that [[EvenEvilHasStandards none of the other lackeys are willing to put up with his shit]]:
--->"Ganondorf just ignored him,"
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': I can't fucking believe Ganondorf is the most relatable character.
---->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': "-For he had no more fucks to give."
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': As with everyone else.
* Apropos of nothing, [=Crazy56U=] decides to believe that Mario and Dr. Mario are [[SplitPersonality the same character]] in the story.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': For some reason, Roy and friends never saw Mario and Dr. Mario in the same place at the same time...
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': Whenever they fought Dr. Mario, Mario disappears.
** "'Come on'a out and take a' you medicine.' called Dr. Mario."
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Mario] "[[PaperThinDisguise (unconvincingly)]] No, I am ''[[ImplausibleDeniability not]]'' Mario pretending to be a doctor, [[BlatantLies I am a completely different character!]] (shifty eyes)"
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [Mario] "[[DiggingYourselfDeeper *suddenly running to the Titan's side*]] Oh yeah? Well, you come on'a let me stomp ya!"
** And then, during the big fight, Mario gets double-teamed by Dr. Mario and Luigi:
--->Mario was being held at point by his Doctor-counterpart,
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Which, in reality, was just Mario choking himself with a stethoscope. Think ''Film/FightClub'', but sad.
---->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': So, ''[[CallBack The Ponyville Curse]]''.
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': You know what they say about fighting your own demons.
---->'''[=SC276=]''': Apparently Dr. Mario had managed to grab a laser sword that just materialized out of nowhere.
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[StatingTheSimpleSolution No, it came from the sky, that's how it works in the games.]]
--->and Luigi. "My own'a brother... how could you?" he asked.
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Luigi] "Well, Mario, to be fair, things have gotten kind of weird ever since [[SanitySlippage you went insane.]]"
----->[Mario] "(is still choking himself) What are you talking about, I'm perfectly fine! [[ImmediateSelfContradiction (turns head)]] ''[[ImmediateSelfContradiction Shut up you!]]'' [[ImmediateSelfContradiction (turns head back) Fuck you, Dr. Mario!]]"
----->[Luigi] "(is desperately resisting the urge to cry)"
* ""''WARLOCK KICK!!''" Ganondorf snuck up on [Captain Falcon] from behind."
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': And so, given this is based off of ''[[VideoGame/SuperSmashBrosMelee Melee]]'', [[EarlyInstallmentWeirdness Captain Falcon is attacked by Captain Falcon.]]
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[MemeticMutation Trust nobody, not even yourself.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:The Brother's Adventure]]
* "That's right. I met [[VideoGame/{{Dishonored}} The damn Outsider]]"
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''[[Literature/TheOutsiders "Fuck you, Ponyboy."]]''
-->'''[=PanzerThiefZero=]''': As opposed to ''[[ComicBook/AllStarBatmanAndRobinTheBoyWonder THE GODDAMN BATMAN!]]''
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Oh come on, Panzer... [[ObligatoryJoke Are you dense? Are you retarded or something?]]
* "No, It's just... nobody ever stands up to Sunset Shimmer." I then think, "So that's her name?"
-->'''[=JofY=]''': Nope, it's [[Music/{{Boston}} Amanda.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Nope, it's [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brandy_(You%27re_a_Fine_Girl) Brandy.]]
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Nope, it's [[Music/{{Europe}} Carrie.]]
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Nope, it's [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diana_(Paul_Anka_song) Diana.]]
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': Nope, [[GenderBender it's]] [[Music/TheBeatles Jude.]]
* "[Rainbow]'s the captain of like... Every team at canterlot high."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Including the chess team. [[GoneHorriblyWrong They have not had a pleasant last three years.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Rainbow Dash] "[[{{Homage}} (holds up a chess piece)]] [[WesternAnimation/JohnnyBravo What's this horsey thing again?]]"
---->[Derpy] "[[SmartBall (borderline mad)]] ''It's a knight.''"
---->[Rainbow Dash] "([[MyRulesAreNotYourRules uses knight to knock away one of Derpy's rooks]]) Can I move here?"
---->[Derpy] "[[RulesOfTheGame No!]]"
---->[Rainbow Dash] "[[TooDumbToLive (leans back in chair; kicks legs up onto table)]] [[CowboyBebopAtHisComputer King me!]]"
---->[Derpy] "[[RageBreakingPoint (straight up mad) THERE IS NO 'KING ME' IN CHESS!]]"
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': Including the rock-paper-scissors team.
** "Suddenly we heard a voice."
--->'''[=JofY=]''': Crap, it's God! Run!
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': He finally had it with this story and has come to smite everyone down!
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Rainbow Dash] "(in the distance) ''[[BrickJoke DERPY, CALM DOWN!]]''"
----->[Derpy] "(in the distance; mad) ''COME BACK HERE SO I CAN KICK YOUR ASS FOR FAILING AT CHESS [[ARareSentence YOU DUMBASS!]]''"
* [=SC276=] expresses incredulity that, because of the protagonist's desire to [[ItMakesSenseInContext not alter the plot of "Equestria Girls"]], he implicitly states he ''doesn't'' want to stop Sunset from amassing an army of teenagers to conqurer Equestia. [=Crazy56U=] counters by stating that, ''because'' they're teenagers, [[KickTheDog they deserve what they get]].
* After Luigi is named "Protector of Medicine Hat", [=SC276=] gets upset that the fic's protagonists are inflicting themselves upon [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medicine_Hat Canada]]. [=Crazy56U=], however, rebukes his anger thusly:
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[WebVideo/BestOfTheWorst Are you familiar with something called]] ''Film/RyansBabe''?
* One of [=SC276's=] reactions to "Bend Time."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': ''~[[WesternAnimation/BluesClues Here's the bend,]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KRtN6-DgrY it never fends]] / It makes me want to wag my tend / When it comes I want to [[PerfectlyCromulentWord wend]] / BEEEEEEEEND!~''
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (rubs face in pain) ''[--for god's sake--]''
* Following SC's extended riff of Sunset [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech bragging that]] [[ForegoneConclusion she's the moral victor,]] all [=Crazy56U=] can respond with is [[StunnedSilence a picture of a concerned dog]].
* "'Oh. Lightningman is dating the pony Fluttershy.' I said to her."
-->'''[=Ringmaster=]''': [Twilight] "Oh, he's got a pony form as well?"
---->[Damyon] "[[SureLetsGoWithThat ...Sure, let's go with that,]] [--not quite sure what's legal around here--]."
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Well, Mario is dating something with a pulse, so no, it's illegal no matter ''how'' you slice it.
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Necrophilia by law, now that's bitter.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:I just wanted to go to Equestria!:Another Story]]
* "Wait...daylight savings was yesterday."
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[RealLifeWritesThePlot (realizes that daylight savings is tomorrow)]] Okay, fuck you Ring, ''[[ContrivedCoincidence this]]'' [[InsaneTrollLogic was the real reason why you picked this fic, didn't you?]]
-->'''Ringmaster''': [[LockedOutOfTheLoop Wait, it is?]] Goddamnit, I should have delayed the last riff an extra day.
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[NeverLiveItDown Considering you thought February had extra days, I think you shouldn't let it bother you.]]
* At one point, Sunset gets mad at Friendo, stating "Nobody beats Flash Sentry at guitar!" Only problem: [[NoodleIncident This scene was never shown.]]
-->'''Ringmaster''': Never, apparently. It's not even an [[SelfDeprecation "I missed a chapter"]] deal, it just... didn't happen.
* Friendo ''really'' likes to think he's [[VisualNovel/PhoenixWrightAceAttorney Phoenix Wright]].
** "and I could've swore that I heard Apollo's objection theme from Dual Destinies, but it was playing and everybody heard it..."
--->'''[=SC276=]''': ''fucking kill me''
--->'''Ringmaster''': It's like if Goth Boy joined the cast of Ultimate Marvel instead of Mortal Kombat.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[WhatTheHellHero where do you get off saying words]]
--->'''[=SC276=]''': ''and now you reminded me goth-boy exists what do you fucking want from me''
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': ''we all know the answer to that.''
** "'I'm a lawyer.' I state showing my Attorney's badge"
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Vice Principal Luna] "Uh, that's literally just a fucking Post-It note with '[[CallBack loiler]]' written on it."
-->"And a prosecutor." then showing my prosecutor's badge
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [Vice Principal Luna] "...Aren't those mutually exclusive-?"
---->[guy] "''[[DiggingYourselfDeeper THEY ARE NOT FAKE]]''"
* Sunset tells Friendo that he can't do shit to stop her, lest he "[[WhamLine upset the balance of time.]]"
-->'''Mono''': ''[[FlatWhat Sorry, what the fuck?]]''
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': Ok, when did we switch from ''Equestria Girls'' to ''The Cutie Remark''?
-->'''[=SC276=]''': And Crazy thought "[[CallBack moral victor]]" was stupid...
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''I am going to scream.''
-->'''[=TheFacelessMan=]''': ''...Excuse me, can we back that up for just a sec?''
-->'''Topher''': I repeat, fucking up the timeline isn't as bad as it seems. [[FalseReassurance *picks up his drink with a prehensile tail*]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Toy Story/Mario Creepypasta Shuffle]]
* From "The Black Friday Incident":
** When the workprint suddenly shows a naked, human Woody, who proceeds to rip off half of his skull and eat his flesh, [=JofY=] proceeds to link to [[WesternAnimation/ToyStory1 "YOU! ARE! A! TOY!"]] in order to point out the problem with this scene. [=Crazy56U=], in turn, links to Woody screaming as his head smolders, claiming [[TakeThat that scene describes this Creepypasta as a whole]].
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Ten Minutes: Aftermath]]
* "[V]ials of the transforming serum known as 'potion', a purple, grape-flavored construct of human nanotechnology and Equestrian magic."
-->'''Fallen Prime:''' So... delicious magical science.
-->'''Neo:''' Is Potion the market brand name or did they just go for the generic brand? Also, is it really necessary to tell us what flavor it was?
-->'''Steel:''' I... think so? Maybe it's called 'Grape-Flavored Nanomachines', and they just went with 'Potion' for all the youngsters reading.
-->'''Kanzlerin:''' [[VideoGame/MetalGearRisingRevengeance Rules of nature, son.]]
-->'''Neo:''' [[MemeticMutation DON'T FUCK WITH THIS SUN PRINCESS!]]
* "Where the humans had won, lay newly created corpses, dead, gummy eyes staring into oblivion,"
-->'''Sigma:''' Pinkie's pet was given a full decorated funeral with military honors.
-->'''Sven:''' The 21 Party Cannon salute was glorious.
* "[T]he young man could taste the grape on her lips."
-->'''Neo:''' Again, is the whole grape flavor thing really that relevant?
-->'''Steel:''' [[ChekhovsGun I think it suddenly just became relevant.]]
-->'''Neo:''' If grapes actually turn out to be the main ingredient in 'Potion,' then I might just flip a table.
-->'''Axel Nyan:''' This author is trying so hard to force her grape-fetish on her readers.
-->'''RJ:''' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QI5uotLnP2s This]] is going to be stuck in my head every time grape comes up now. Thanks, fic.
-->'''Waterpear:''' The cherry flavor [[GenderBender unconditionally turns you into a mare]]. [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer I am not making this up.]]
-->'''Sigma:''' ...What kind of grape? Green, red, or purple grape? They all have a distinctive taste, you know.
-->'''Neo:''' What about Blue Raspberry?
-->'''[=MrSing=]:''' Nothing like a cold glass of grapes right before battle.
-->'''Cola:''' Hey, now. Grape isn't something to joke about.
-->'''[=SC276=]:''' I'm fairly sure at this point that the "potion" is just wine and everyone is actually drunk off their gourds. [[INeedAFreakingDrink Like I wish I was about a quarter of the way into this mess.]]
* "There would have been no possible way to see anything, had the device at his back detonated. He would have been terminated instantaneously;"
-->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]:''' "[[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment Have I mentioned this yet? Maybe I should write a few more paragraphs just in case my audience doesn't understand.]]"
-->'''[=SC276=]:''' There's {{purple prose}}, and then there's ''ultraviolet''.
* "'I'm just here at Celestia's request to help you. No, don't fret, I'm perfectly fine!' The doctor / pegasus gave Michael a big smile."
-->'''Neo:''' "NOBODY GIVES A SHIT, LARRY!"
-->'''twow:''' [[OhCrap ...Guys.]] ''Celestia can bring dead humans back to life with the power of ponies. AND ONLY BY TURNING THEM INTO PONIES.''
-->'''Steel:''' And thus, Celestia became God.
-->'''Neo:''' [[FridgeLogic So...can she revive ponies by turning them into other ponies?]]
-->'''Steel:''' Ponies are born, live, then are reborn as other ponies. That's one hell of a spiralling circle of life... but what about abortions? Are they just born into other ponies? And what if everyone who can be alive is alive right then? Is everybody just infertile until someone drops dead?
-->'''Simon:''' Dude, you made abortions feel like a reset button. "Ah, I wanted to be a unicorn this time! Kill me, we'll try again!"
* "You took my head off right here, remember?"
-->'''twow:''' He took your head off with a ''bullet?'' Was he using a fucking high-powered sniper rifle?
-->'''Ringmaster:''' Maybe he was using one of [[CallBack Fallen's rusty sawblade guns]].
-->'''Waterpear:''' It was a hypergun. It's just like a regular gun, except it lets you 360noscope entire continents.
-->'''Neo:''' Haven't you seen? They made a gun capable of shooting rusty saw blades.
-->'''Fallen Prime:''' "They?" I thought I patented that!
-->'''Neo:''' It was 'Based off of' your original design in a similar fashion to how this story was based off of Ten Minutes. The gun shoots peeled oranges is what I'm getting at.
-->'''Steel:''' It hasn't really taken with any major militant organizations, but Marketing is working on it.
-->'''Neo:''' [[VideoGame/Portal2 Some nut job named Cave Johnson made it. He said a version that used combustable lemons was in development.]] We're eagerly awaiting final testing.
-->'''Fallen Prime:''' Cunting Aperture...
* "No, Michael, you were in hell. You were in the hell that was human life, the hell that was Earth."
-->'''Waterpear:''' And now you're in the hell that is "Ten Minutes: Aftermath."
-->'''Fallen Prime:''' "It was remarkably difficult to find a princess-sized soapbox, so I hope you appreciate my speech."
-->'''Cola:''' If a goddess cannot make a soapbox sufficiently stable to support her goddessy frame, then why do we call her goddess?
-->'''Dark Angel:''' Actually, she did make one that could support her frame. The problem is that the said goddess has a weakness for chocolate cake.
-->'''Ringmaster:''' "The Hell That Was Human Life" sounds more like an emo album than something that should ever come out of the mouth of a cartoon pony.
-->'''Neo:''' And yet here we stand.
-->'''Steel:''' And here we read. I think we all feel less human for it. ...I didn't actually mean to make that joke, OH GOD THEY'RE CONVERTING ME!
* "Michael had heard enough. 'Just tell me what you want me to do to end this.' He meant it. Anything."
-->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]:''' Well, first you hit the backspace key. Then, you don't stop.
-->'''RJ:''' After that, open up the command prompt and type format c:/ and hit enter.
-->'''Ringmaster:''' [[SerialEscalation Then, just to be safe, take your computer and toss it out the nearest second-story window.]]
-->'''[=SC276=]:''' Make it third, just to be safe.
-->'''Cola:''' Not enough. The author would still have the ending in their memory. Follow the computer out the window! It's the only way to be sure.
* "Those were not the actions of a robot without free will."
-->'''Waterpear:''' Yes, by programming a robot to pause before it does your bidding, you too can create a machine that passes the Turing Test.
-->'''Axel Nyan:''' For only 52 easy payments of 499.99$, you too can own your very own lifelike robot!~ Guaranteed to pass any test!
-->'''Steel:''' Give it your homework! Tell it a joke! [[BreadEggsMilkSquick Order it to end all mankind!]] We guarantee success in any and all operations!
-->'''Sigma:''' These characters are about as free as fucking Bonzi Buddy.
-->'''Ringmaster:''' Chat had that on her computer, [[EvenEvilHasStandards but it uninstalled itself after it saw her stories]].
* ""My stallion! You made it! It's so good to see you!" It was Tank, now a fine stallion."
-->'''Sigma:''' I thought Tank was a tortoise.
-->'''Cola:''' Wrong Tank. I got a little confused on that too. *offers a handy chart*
-->'''Ringmaster:''' Are you sure this chart is right? [[MadnessMantra It's just the word "fuck" repeated over and over again]] [[RoomFullOfCrazy in very small print on every inch of the paper.]]
-->'''Cola:''' *nods solemnly* It's right. Trust me.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:My Life in MLP / The Search Of Equestia]]
* This part, after an introduction to the fics is given.
--> '''[=Maud=]''': Did I also mention that the author posted thirteen chapters as a single chapter? Because he did. [[AndThatsTerrible And that's terrible]].
* From "My Life in MLP"
** Cola's [[RunningGag increasingly]] severe reactions to the RougeAnglesOfSatin.
** "'don't worry i'll be fine.'"
---> '''Fallen Prime:''' This reassurance brought to you by the National [[TemptingFate Fate Temptation]] Committee.
---> '''Steel:''' Major donators are {{Foreshadowing}} Inc., [[{{VideoGame/Portal}} Aperture Science]] and The World Association For Pony Societies.
---> '''[=TopherRiffs=]''': And the support of [[ViewersLikeYou readers like you]]. Thank you.
---> '''[=Crazy56U=]:''' [[MoodWhiplash She dies at the end, doesn't she...]]
** "'[H]ey there!' said [[RougeAnglesOfSatin fiendly]] voice."
--->'''[=RJ=]''': (overly happy) Hey there new neighbor! We're having a potluck block party next week, it'd be a pip if you could come! [[MoodWhiplash I'll be kidnapping you all afterwards for some evil plot!]] Oh, and it's BYOB! See ya there!
** "Over the next few days Andy showed me around the collage and the city."
---> '''Sigma:''' He then [[StuffBlowingUp exploded]], for Andy was secretly... [[WebAnimation/RedVsBlue a BOMB]].
---> '''Topher:''' [[InsistentTerminology Andy prefers the term "Explosive American."]]
** "after words i just talked mumbo jumbo"
---> '''[=SC276=]:''' "This not [[VideoGame/BanjoKazooie bear and bird world]]. Mumbo took {{wrong turn at Albuquerque}}."
---> '''Ringmaster:''' Wow, he actually managed to end up [[TakeThat somewhere worse than]] ''Nuts & Bolts''.
** And then the [[{{Lemon}} sex scene]] happened.
---> '''Sigma:''' Fallen, get the sawblades.
---> '''Fallen Prime:''' Mine. Not sharing.
---> '''Maud:''' HEY GUYS, REMEMBER WHEN I SAID THIS WAS RATED "M"?
---> '''Sigma:''' Remember how I said ''WITH A FORK?''
---> '''Something:''' (drives in with a forklift) GLIMGLAM YOUR TIME OF RECKONING IS HERE. HOW DO YOU PLEAD.
---> '''Maud:''' I plead the fifth.
---> '''Sigma:''' You're Canadian. GUILTY!
---> '''Something:''' YOU ARE SENTENCED TO MAXIMUM FORKLIFT. (runs forklift straight into Glimo's brain)
* From "The Search Of Equestia"
** The very first "sentence."
---> My story begin with a 16 year old boy the boy name is David and I have crap live nobody want to be friend and the school year wasn't best at the time after was over I walked home when I got home my uncle came over hi David how was your day?
----> '''Sigma:''' ...Oh. [[ThisIsGonnaSuck This is gonna be one of those days, isn't it.]]
----> '''Something:''' Where you don't wanna wake up? (flies away for realsies this time)
----> '''Maud:''' [[Music/TheEagles You can check-out anytime you want, but you can never leave...]]
----> '''[=SC276=]:''' ''Already I want to kill someone.''
----> '''[=Crazy56U=]:''' I... I feel like I made a mistake coming back...
*** By the end of chapter 1, the story is completely incomprehensible.
----> '''[=SC276=]:''' ...OK, I've completely lost track of the plot. Something about Pinkie and Rainbow and... signs or something? Augh, it can't be a seven-year-old that wrote it, half the words would be misspelled then.
----> '''Ringmaster:''' What about a 6-year-old with a really good spellcheck program?
----> '''[=SC276=]:''' Fanfic writers, use spellcheck? Have you seen the ''last'' fic?
----> '''Ringmaster:''' ...Point taken.
----> '''Cola:''' Wait! I understand now. I understand. This was the ''rough draft'' of the previous fic. That's the only explanation I'm willing to live with, because if two different people can write ''shit'' this ''fucking incoherent'' then no, no, the world is not a place I'm willing to live any more.
----> '''[=Crazy56U=]:''' All I know is that I'm lost, scared, and confused. Mostly scared.
** Due to being introduced as a "[[RougeAnglesOfSatin cinema]]," Discord is interpreted as an evil movie theater that only shows ''Film/TheRoom2003'', ''[[Film/Birdemic2TheResurrection Birdemic II]]'', and (after mutating) ''Film/CutthroatIsland''.
** Ring, for the first and only time, covers the second name of the protagonist of "The Search Of Equestia" with white text due to how stupid it is. How stupid? The protagonist is [[VideoGame/MetalGear Solid Snake]].
---> '''[=SC276=]:''' *''[[SpitTake SPITS OUT ORANGE JUICE]]''* ''[[WesternAnimation/TheAmazingWorldOfGumball WHAT THE WHAT?!]]''
---> '''RJ:''' '''!'''
---> '''Ringmaster:''' A good amount of the reason I put this fic up here was just so I could show you all... that.
---> '''[=SC276=]:''' THE GUY'S THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE! HE DOES ''NOTHING'' STEALTHY OR BADASS! HE SPENT THE FINAL BATTLE KNOCKED OUT, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!!
---> '''Cola:''' You. Are. Fuck. Ing. Shit. Ting. Me.
---> '''Topher:''' This tweest brought to you by M. Night Shamallamadingdong.
---> '''[=Crazy56U=]:''' (in pain) ... ''...this is why we can't have nice things...''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:A Beautiful But Scary Effect]]
* "Everypony, even those who hated him, will come to love him."
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Reaper] "([[WesternAnimation/SpongebobSquarepants sporting Muscle Arms]]) Now I'm a jerk, and everypony loves me!"
-->'''Topher''': IRON WILL APPROVES OF THIS COMMENT!
* "The Power Of Love were crafted so perfectly,"
-->'''Ringmaster''': Eh, it's nice, but if we're talking [[Music/HueyLewisAndTheNews Huey Lewis]] hits I still prefer ''[[Film/BackToTheFuture1 Back in Time]]''.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''Hip to Be Square'' is more my jam, what with its claustrophobic music video and tendency to [[Film/AmericanPsycho get people named Paul killed]]...
-->'''[=Sven=]''': The line ''♫ Make a one man weep ♫'' seems rather fitting.
* "I stomped my hoof once and the fool jolts back to consciousness. He gasped as he came to."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': These are not vampire powers. These are like demigod powers. Or Discord powers. I'm not engaged, I'm just confused and angry.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ...okay, no, you can't change my mind; [[CharacterDeath Reaper was, in fact, dead.]] Ice Star just [[BackFromTheDead brought him back to life]]. [[FridgeHorror Necromancy is now canon in this story.]]
* "Her mane is also yellow. Now on to the one I don't know."
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (fed up) Would you please, ''please'', just give a SHIT ABOUT THE AUDIENCE?!
-->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': If that was a thing, 80% of these pony fics wouldn't exist. (tries not to cry)
** "She is an earth pony with a dark brown mane with a few light yellow strips. Her coat is a light brown color and she seems like a strong earth pony. Now I believe I have explained everything and I hope your small mind can hold that info."
--->'''[=SC276=]''': No, because I won't ever need any info like this in my life ever. And I'm a packrat.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ... (screams in rage)
--->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': Hey, look at it this way! ...[[BrickJoke you made some really good eggs for breakfast]][[DamnedByFaintPraise --that counts, right?]]
* Moral time!
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': I think we all learned an important lesson here, today. [[LostAesop And that is... ... ...]]
-->'''Sven''': [[SpoofAesop Uh, don't talk to a vampony, because she'll make you wear glasses that make all the other characters fall in love with you, including your own brother?]]
-->'''[=SC276=]''': ''Close enough!''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:The Ponyville Curse]]
* After the computer supposedly magically downloads Windows Media Player:
-->Hey! It's one less program I have to download!
--->'''Sigma''': Ignorance is indeed bliss.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': You poor deluded fool... [[TakeThat Everyone knows VLC is better...]]
--->'''Sigma''': OI! Media Player Classic!
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': I will ''[[CavemenVsAstronautsDebate fight you in the street]]''.
* "Imagine Flippy from WebAnimation/HappyTreeFriends when he flips out and replace the white with the blue."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': I am, and it looks ''nothing'' like what you described earlier. Double-checking now in case my memory is failing me... Oh, the ''irises were'' yellow. I... would not call Flippy's irises yellow. Well, not ''yellow'' yellow, more of a dark yellow YES I AM STALLING FOR TIME.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Keep stalling, please? ...''please''?
-->'''[=SC276=]''': I CAN ONLY THINK OF SO MUCH TO TYPE.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': GIBBERISH! ''JUST TYPE GIBBERISH''!
* "This was awful to look at. Would you find it horrible if you saw a dead child brutally murdered somehow?"
-->'''Ringmaster''': I mean, I have at least 600 hours total in the ''[[VideoGame/TheBindingOfIsaac Binding of Isaac]]'' series, so...
-->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': Why didn't this guy---oh, I don't know---call the police about this?!
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Did the Internet Police even ''exist'' in 2012?
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Insert [[VideoGame/FiveNightsAtFreddys FNAF]] joke here.
-->'''Trekker''': [[[VideoGame/FiveNightsAtFuckboys Freddy Fuckboy]]] "[[ExactWords inhale my dong enragement child]]"
* "The order they were in from closest to furthest was Spike, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie and finally Fluttershy."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Who even remembers that kind of detail?!
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Ask the narrator of "[[VideoGame/SonicExe Sonic.EXE]]".
-->'''Sigma''': [[TakeThat Yeah, sure, after I get cancer.]]
* "According to our research,"
-->'''[=SC276=]''': "-which we won't elaborate on here, since it's scientifically impossible to perform-"
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': "[[TakeThat which is just the words 'Fuck this story.' repeated for 15 pages,]]"
* [=Crazy56U=]'s [[SanitySlippage mental breakdown]] during Spike's evil monologue. Ever wonder why [[SelfServingMemory he keeps insisting this riff never happened]]? Now you do.
** "And all his illness and injuries? He did those himself."
--->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': [Spike] "The big guy even tried to pin me with the sledgehammer incident. What a kook!"
--->'''[=SC276=]''': The author literally just tried to make a creepypasta out of ''WebAnimation/HappyTreeFriends''' "Double Whammy" two-parter and paint MLP on it. ...I've seen worse.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Oh my God, you are! You ARE ripping off "Film/FightClub"! WHAT IS THIS?!
--->'''Fallen Prime''': If either of you are right, then the twist is... this was secretly a crossover.
** "I'm suprised he hadn't killed himself doing so! He would also search up and download viruses too."
--->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': [[TheInternetIsForPorn No, that's called looking up porn.]]
--->'''Scarlet''': Based on documents eleven and twelve, he was producing that just fine on his own.
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [[FridgeLogic ...wait, if it's Wingdings, wouldn't decoding just be changing the font?]]
--->'''Scarlet''': .....In a manner of speaking, yes.
--->'''Fallen Prime''': GODDAMMIT I TRUSTED YOU.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Okay, no, I HIGHLY DOUBT his schizophrenia would make him do that [[ARareSentence dear GOD what is this making me type?!]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:A Friendship Broken by Loyalty]]
* Right off the bat:
-->'''Ringmaster''': It's the second user-voted one shot, and you guys picked... a Rainbow Factory fan-prequel. ''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck Yay.]]''
* "They were also saying really mean things about me."
-->'''Scarlet''': "Not bad, Dash! If you keep it up you might almost be ''average!''"
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (tears up notecard; bitter) Nice job stealing the math joke, friend...
-->'''Dark Angel''': Well, you could make a joke like she was only performing at 20%... oh, sorry.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (tears up another notecard; more bitter) [[SarcasmMode Yeah... I bet you are...]]
* "I walked up to them and said, "Is that really what you think about me, A LAUGHABLE FAILURE!?'"
-->'''Sigma''': [[BluntYes Yes.]]
-->'''Ferret''': That was almost too easy.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Well, really, there's no other answer...
-->'''Dark Angel''': [[AskAStupidQuestion Was that a trick question?]]
* "Now Rainbow dash, darling, we didn't mean any harm. To be honest it WAS Pinkie pie who started it."
-->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': Plot twist: Rainbow is talking to [[CallBack the rag dolls from the creepy-pasta a few riffs back.]]
-->'''Scarlet''': Plot twists are supposed to be ''unexpected''.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (eye begins twitching; grabs head) ''[-W-why would you remind me of that...-]''
* "I can't believe you all; there isn't anything magical about cracking insulting jokes about your friend behind her back!"
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ...did Rainbow just insult ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}''?
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Baron Silver]]
* The early part of the riff has a RunningGag where the [[WhiteVoidRoom riff place]] keeps getting [[IncendiaryExponent set on fire]].
** [A]nd the grass was wet with morning dew.
--->'''[=SC276=]''': Given how last night went, [[DoubleEntendre probably some other things as well.]]\\
'''[=Crazy56U=]''' ''[[KillItWithFire ...someone needs to burn the grass...]]''\\
'''Topher''': [[AxCrazy *lights a molotov cocktail* On it!]] *throws the molotov cocktail, which shatters against the fourth wall, setting half the riff... um... place on fire*
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[CallBack (on fire) AGAIN?!]] ''REALLY?!?!''
--->'''[=SC276=]''': *grabs a fire extinguisher and starts spraying down the fire* [[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe We're not even past the opening paragraph yet, are you kidding me?!]]
---> '''Dark Angel''': That's what you get when flamers become riffers.
** "Twilight would get up to care for him when he woke up; being after all he is still only a baby dragon."
--->'''Scarlet''': The mark of a true editor is knowing exactly which sentences deserve to be murdered for taking up too much space in the story. Would someone please pass me my corkscrew?
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (using corkscrew as a toothpick) In a sec...
--->'''Topher''': You want I should make another molotov?
--->'''[=SC276=]''': If you set this place on fire again, I'm finding another use for this extinguisher.
--->'''Dark Angel''': I'm going to go back to my previous comment on this. Is that a threat or some kind of fetish?
--->'''Topher''': I'm going to go back to my previous answer. yes.
** [[KickTheDog Eventually, the fire department stops responding to calls.]]
* Spike looking up information about the creature he saw is referred to as him looking up the [[{{Franchise/Pokemon}} Pokédex]].
-->Spike had found it, but he was only able to find one monster that could fit the description of the thing Spike had seen.
--->'''Scarlet''': And sadly, he was unable to find its type weaknesses or what routes it was most easily encountered on.
--->'''Topher''': Was it one of those promotional event-trade only monsters then?
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (pulls out a [=3DS=]) My bet's on it being a Mystery Gift...
* "The book stated that 'It has been thought that Discord had scared away all of these creatures, for they were a peaceful kind'."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Given we know what's coming up... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAA.
-->'''Scarlet''': As I'm blind riffing as per my usual M.O., I'll just prepare myself for a prime slice of delicious stupid.
-->'''Dark Angel''': I'm always blind riffing, so we're in the same boat. Considering where that boat is taking us though, we might as well be sinking faster than the titanic.
-->'''Topher''': Yeah, whoever wrote this must have been pretty dumb if he thought humans were peaceful creatures. I mean come on, I murder people for no reason other than for shits and giggles! (Shoots SC in the head) And I'd say I'm a pretty typical human.
-->'''Dark Angel''': I consider myself as a protector. But I'd consider ''myself'' as a typical human...or was that inhuman?
-->'''[=SC276=]''': You are so lucky I have a hard head.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (pulls the bullet out of [=SC276=]'s head) ...I'm not a doctor, but shouldn't that still hurt?
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Like you would not believe. Thankfully, over four years of riffing have given me ample time to learn how to scream internally.
* "About 2 hours later, Twilight came home and saw that the book was open on the floor, open to the page about humans."
-->'''Scarlet''': You know, the point of a plot twist is to ''[[TheUntwist make sure it's unexpected]]''.
-->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': (spit take) Oh come on!
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': "Included was a plot summary of ''[[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyEquestriaGirls Equestria Girls]]''. [[TakeThat Twilight promptly lit the book on fire.]]"
-->'''Dark Angel''': *pushes speed dial* Hey it's me aga-...Pizza Hut? Wrong speed dial...I'd like to order a large pizza with pepperoni and jalapenos...
-->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': (chuckles) Whenever I see someone complain about EG--or Muffins being a canon name-- I always think of [[WebComic/{{Sonichu}} Chris-chan's reaction to Sonic's arms being blue.]] [[TakeThat Not sure why.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[TranquilFury A)]] I actually like ''Equestria Girls'', [[SarcasmFailure I was just making a stupid joke.]] B) '''''[[RageBreakingPoint HOW DARE YOU COMPARE ME TO CHRIS CHAN!!!!]]''''' (punches you in the face... repeatedly)
-->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': [[PunctuatedPounding I wasn't--ow!--talking about--ow!--you, I was--ow!--making a--blerg!]] (falls to the ground in a heap) Ugh... (bumbling) [[WesternAnimation/EdEddNEddy If anyone finds teeth laying around, they're mine...]]
-->'''[[RougeAnglesOfSatin Toper]]''': Too late! They're going in the jar! *pulls out a jar full of human teeth, starts scanning the floor*
* "Twilight Sparkle made sure Spike did not tell anyone about what he read,"
-->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': I bet he's been reading fanfiction.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''Poor damn fool...''
* In this riff in particular, [=Crazy56U=] was not in the mood to deal with discussions on the show's canon.
-->Maybe he is in the Everfree forest?
--->'''Scarlet:''' God damn it that's even worse! Your survival instinct has been exceeded by ten year olds! I just had to ''downsize my mason jar!''
--->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]:''' If Applejack, Apple Bloom and Zecora can handle the forest like nothing, then so can Twilight. It's not like she hasn't done that before at all.
--->'''Scarlet''': Cockatrice. Those vines with knockout dust.
--->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': You mean those things that happened once? I doubt Twilight is going to stare into the eyes of a snake chicken again anytime soon. ''If you know what I mean~''
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': OI! ''What did I say about discussions?!'' (slams Scarlet and Glitch's heads together, [[Film/TheThreeStooges Three Stooges style]])
--->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': Certainly! Whoop, whoop, whoop, nyuk, nyuk!
--->'''Scarlet''': You don't own me. But you have caused me pain. I shall now cry. *sobs in corner*
--->'''Dark Angel''': Of all riffs I could've taken part of, I get stuck with the Three Stooges of riffing.
* "[H]e turned to Scootaloo and said 'Do you know what Rainbow Dash's favorite breakfast is?'"
-->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': ''[[MoodWhiplash *image of Scooatloo looking directly at the viewer with the caption "MURDER"*]]''
-->'''[=SC276=]''': [[ActuallyPrettyFunny *collapses laughing*]] OK, Glitch, that was pretty good.
-->'''Fallen Prime''': [[PetTheDog Glitch wins the Riff of the Week Award. The prize is a cookie.]]
* With the OC named what he is, Ringmaster handles the ObligatoryJoke.
-->It would take some getting used to for Silver to eat the hay food.
--->'''Scarlet''': Author, you do realize that pasta is made from grain, right? Like, as in, vegetarian? Author? Hello? A- right he's not listening.
--->'''Ringmaster''': One could almost say... [[VideoGame/SonicTheHedgehog2006 it's no use]].
--->'''[=SC276=]''': Are you going to just keep doing that joke the ''entire story''?
--->'''Ringmaster''': Hey, if I don't make them, ''someone'' will.
--->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': Wish ''I'' said it.
* And then the [[{{Lemon}} sex scene]] happened, and then right after Silver gets off-
-->Chapter 10
--->'''[=SC276=]''': ...That's it? It's over? Just... like that? No post-coital cuddles or anything?
--->'''Ringmaster''': SC, don't you get what just happened there?
--->'''[=SC276=]''': The most boring mating scene ever?
--->'''Ringmaster''': Close. The author finished, [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall and so did the chapter.]]
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [[FridgeBrilliance ...Ah.]]
--->'''Scarlet''': [[ActuallyPrettyFunny *applause*]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:The Enemy of My Enemy]]
* [=Crazy56U=] referencing "Fat Bottom Girls" every time Chrysalis calls Celestia a "fat ass."
** Similarly, [=SC276=] waiting for the liquid love to splash onto someone and start an orgy.
* "She positioned herself to ensure she could break up an argument or all-out fight if Chrysalis, Shining, or Cadance turned aggressive."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': But everyone knows that [[VideoGame/FiveNightsAtFreddys4 if you look at the bed for too long, Foxy gets you.]]
-->'''Lord Shaxx''': (peeks in closet) Aww, what a cute stuffed fox-[[OhCrap OH MY F*** GOD!]]
-->'''Topher''': [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness (slams closet shut)]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (opens closet) ...guys, [[ComicallyMissingThePoint you're freaking out over a stuffed toy]]... (picks it up) See? Look, it's even missing its head, calm down...
-->'''Dark Angel''': (looks in closet) Where'd this creepy looking [[http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/the-tails-doll Tails doll]] come from?
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (closes closet) That's enough of that, now...
* ""Oh, has the great and powerful Queen Chrysalis never seen liquid love before?""
-->'''Scarlet:''' Aaaand here's where my calling bullshit on Celestia having no idea what the magical nature of this stuff is comes into play. Also, because I want dibs: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdhRwADrkYA What]] ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdhRwADrkYA is]]'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdhRwADrkYA love?]]
-->'''Dark Angel:''' Well, if you're calling dibs on that reference, just remember that Lovebutt is trying to explain that [[https://youtu.be/x9_vhYpR9xo All You Need is Love]]. I just want [[https://youtu.be/Se5JLYKQfDU Lovely Rita]] to [[https://youtu.be/cOVfmJNT3Vs Love Me Do]].
-->'''[=SC276=]:''' I'd say "baby don't hurt me," but this fic hurts.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]:''' Well, according to [[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brian-finkelstein/love-is-a-myth_b_5636392.html some hack named Finkelstein]], love is a myth...
-->'''RJ:''' [Chrysalis] Yeah, while you were in the caves your husband sprayed his 'liquid love' in my fac~
---> [Shining] I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT SHE IS TALKING ABOUT.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]:''' (gag) ...aw, fuck... (pukes on RJ's shoes)
* "Her words became more hurried, as if sputtering them out faster would let her escape."
-->'''[=SC276=]:''' Wait, does that work? QUICK, EVERYONE, RIFF FASTER!
-->'''Topher:''' (inhales mightily) [[MotorMouth OkIllgoasfastasIcan]]sexjokereferencewittyremarkstatementwithdisturbingimplicationsaboutmyownsanityandprobablesociopathicnature (whips out a machine gun and unloads an entire clip ino Scarlet's head) Weanyclosertobeingdone?
-->'''Scarlet:''' No, and now you've forced me to resurrect so many times in a row that I spontaneously dragged a hellhound back with me. On the bright side, I have a new pet dog! Scruffy will have a friend!
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]:''' ... [[AsideGlance (turns and looks towards the reader)]] ...your guess is as good as mine, I don't know...
* "That one dragon was staring at Chrysalis. She could feel its gaze even though it had no eyes. That one dragon had a murderous intent ten times any of its fellows, and every drop of that aggression was focused on her."
--> '''Scarlet:''' Please say he eats her. Please. It would be a mercy.
--> '''[=SC276=]:''' Kinky.
--> '''[=Crazy56U=]:''' '''''[[PaintingTheMedium Why do you want vore in this?!]]'''''
--> '''Scarlet:''' Not so much vore as the sweet release of death. For them, not me. I gave that up a long time ago.
--> '''Dark Angel:''' [[CrossingTheLineTwice And besides, insects are high in protein.]]
* Celestia comes into the final battle and manages to get knocked out near immediately.
--> '''Scarlet:''' ''THE UNBRIDLED STRENGTH OF THE SUN.'' *sighs and returns to munching popcorn*
--> '''[=SC276=]:''' [[ItMakesSenseInContext Well she already unleashed the power of the sun, so she's just down to the 5% juice right now.]]
--> '''[=Crazy56U=]:''' Celestia's magic works the same way an iPhone battery works: from full to dead in a matter of minutes.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Cupcakes: Creepypasta Edition]]
* [[BlatantLies The riff gets off to a promising start.]]
-->'''Fallen Prime''': [[OhCrap Oh, fuck no.]]
-->'''Ringmaster''': It's the 1st of the month, so by now you should all know what that means.
-->'''Fallen Prime''': [[TranquilFury Ring, I hate you.]]
-->'''Ringmaster''': I was hoping you would elaborate that the 1st of the month is always shitty short fics from 2012 posted on Fanfiction.net about horrible human OCs, but that works too.
-->'''Fallen Prime''': I WAS gonna do that, but then I saw what the title of this one was. How. How and why.
* "but it was better than watching some infomercial on every other channel,"
-->'''Scarlet''': I suppose this was written after Adult Swim stopped airing re-runs of Cowboy Bebop.
-->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': Why didn't he just go to [=YouTube=]? I'm assuming he doesn't have Netflix, but he obviously has internet.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': He just didn't want to be tormented by ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_SwD7RveNE this]]'' [[TakeThat manufactured horror...]]
-->'''Topher''': Of all the things I have experienced... bloody battles, rooms full of eviscerated corpses, people burning alive [[ButForMeItWasTuesday (and that was just a normal Tuesday for me)]]... [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness This is the first time I'm horrified.]] I... I can't stay on this earth anymore. [[DrivenToSuicide *shoots himself in the forehead*]]
-->'''Dark Angel''': [[NoSell He won't be gone that long.]]
-->'''Topher''': [[TheyKilledKennyAgain (sits up) Wow! Three seconds! That's the longest I've ever been dead!]]
** For the record, what's the one thing that not even ''[[EvenEvilHasStandards Topher]]'' can handle? [[NotSoDire The "HeadOn" commercial.]]
* Apparently, the Narrator wasn't to interest in watching reruns of ''Series/LaverneAndShirley''.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Well, truth be told, if he had to choose between "Fanfic/{{Cupcakes|SergeantSprinkles}}" and Laverne and Shirley... [[TakeThat ...actually, no, he should've stuck with Laverne and Shirley...]]
-->'''Dark Angel''': It's the lesser of two evils... [[DamnedByFaintPraise though not by much.]]
* Behold: ThirdPersonPerson run amok.
-->The camera was on Dash, who was laughing nervously and protesting with Pinkie, saying that it was all a joke and other ponies would find her.
--->'''Scarlet''': The riff returned to Scarlet, who grew bored of repackaged horrorfic which lacks all the flair and controlled mood of the original story.
--->'''Lord Shaxx''': Lord Shaxx promptly took back his microphone so he could continue announcing the Crucible.
--->'''Dark Angel''': At the witness of this massacre of a somewhat decent horrorfic, Dark Angel saw a gun on the table and was considering shooting himself. When he finally made the choice to end it, [[BungledSuicide he found that it was just a water gun.]]
--->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': [[SurprisinglyCreepyMoment The last thing NaturalGlitch saw was his alarm clock flashing 12:07 before she pushed her long rotting nails through his chest, her other hand muffling his screams. He sat bolt upright, relieved it was only a dream, but as he saw his alarm clock read 12:06, he heard his closet door creak open.]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [=Crazy56U=] [[UnfazedEveryman nonchalantly grabbed a tissue from a nearby tissue box so he could blow his nose,]] [[AsYouKnow as he still had a cold at the time of explaining this.]] (honk) [[SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud He then typed out the sound effect of him blowing his nose,]] [[LampshadeHanging because he's weird like that.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Spirit of Hearth's Warming Eve Shorts]]
* Right off the bat:
-->'''Ringmaster''': [[SarcasmMode Good job everyone,]] [[EpicFail we got zero submissions in the right wordcount range in time for the second sampler.]]
-->'''Fallen Prime''': [[SarcasmMode This is my applause face.]]
* From "Short 1: The Perfect Gift":
** "The Hearth's Warming Eve was here,"
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (deadpan) [[YouMeanXmas Don't you mean Christmas?]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': 'Christ... mas?' What is this... 'Christmas' you speak of?
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[ArtisticLicenseHistory It's the day Santa Claus gave birth to Jesus Christ, obviously,]] [[InsaneTrollLogic that's why we celebrate with presents and commercialism.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Thank you; [[{{Squick}} the image of a man giving birth will keep me cold tonight.]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[SchmuckBait You asked for it.]]
** "At Ponyville; Twilight, Spike [[FanFic/PastSins and Nyx]] were walking down the street."
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Given the weird ass prose and the shameless cribbing from "Past Sins", I wouldn't be surprised if it turned out that Power Master is friends with [[FanFic/CurseOfTheDemonPony JusSonic]]...
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Ah, crap; it's a Nyx story... [[FailedASpotCheck That's what I get for not reading the opening.]]
--->'''Ringmaster''': It wouldn't be an [=F/F/T3K=] Holiday Special without copious amounts of regret.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (pained) Fa-la-la-la-laaa, la-la-la-laaaa...
*** "They looked on both sides as they were searching and looking for something important gift for Shadow Dragon."
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[TemptingFate ...I swear to God, if turns out that I'm right...]]
---->'''Ringmaster''': [[KickTheDog Oh, hey,]] [[https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/303856/beginning-of-my-little-pony-work turns out you are.]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (pained) O-oh... J-joy... (eyes begin bleeding)
** "As they continued walking, they were greeted by Ponyville Citizens."
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': And they were armed with pitchforks and torches. [[TakeThat Clearly they took advantage of the Black Friday sales...]] [[SidetrackedByTheAnalogy ...wait]], fuck, ''does'' Equestria have Black Friday?
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Black ''Magic'' Friday, yes.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Great, now I'm imaging [[Literature/HarryPotterAndTheDeathlyHallows the Battle of Hogwarts]], [[CrackFic but done inside a Walmart over cheap deals.]]
--->'''[=JofY=]''': "I summon the great TV that is of terrible quality and I'm only buying because it's 20% off! Slay my enemies! I command it!"
--->'''[=SC276=]''': OK, let's read ''that'' fic instead.
--->'''Scarlet''': Fools. The true power of Black Friday comes through the human suffering of those who worked it. Actually, it's a ritual designed to revitalize the powers of dark magic held every year.
--->'''[=SC276=]''': Dammit, now I'm regretting that I stayed at home instead of going to the local Target that day to watch the chaos.
** "'Speaking of gifts, where are daddy and Lance? I haven't seen them since this morning,' Nyx asked."
--->'''[=Ringmaster=]''': [[OhCrap Oh fuck, Lance? Please don't be the one I'm thinking of, please don't be the one I'm thinking of...]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ..."Series/{{Arrow}}"-Lance, I take it? ...I mean, I haven ''seen'' "Arrow" yet, only the "[[Series/TheFlash2014 Flash]]" spinoff, but...
--->'''[=Ringmaster=]''': No, this is ponyfic we're talking about, I mean the one from *shudder* Living the Dream.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': I... ''think'' I know that one... [[CallBack ...did some OC fuck Rainbow in that, and they had a child?]]
--->'''[=Ringmaster=]''': No, Rainbow TRIED to fuck the OC, [[NotGoodWithRejection then murdered him (accidentally) when he rejected her]].
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[StunnedSilence ...well, then.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Yeah, the papers called her "[[ObligatoryJoke The Twenty-Percent Killer]]."
--->'''Scarlet''': I'm just going to hold out hope that Rainbow's actually dating [[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} the Elite 4 member]].
--->'''[=SC276=]''': Talk about Bad Dragon...
** When Shadow Dragon is threatening the villain to stop his evil ways:
--->"Stealing the jewel is one thing, but kidnapping the child is unforgivable. If I ever see you tried to held hostage, I'll be coming for you!"
---->'''[=Scarlet=]''': Yeah! If you ever try to be held hostage, you won't escape the wrath of Shadow Dragon!
* From Short 2: "Apple Treats"
** "He had some sweats shedding out from his body as he continued cooking the Apple Treat."
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[RunningGag ™.]]
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [[MadLibsCatchPhrase Apple Treat Apple Treat, Apple Treat. Apple Treat? Apple Treat!]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[BorrowedCatchphrase ™ ™, ™. ™? ™!]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:The Shining Sabre / The New Bearer / The Arrival]]]]
* From "The Shining Sabre":
** Sabre has an ImaginationBasedSuperpower. You'd ''think'' he'd go for [[WhyDontYouJustShootHim the easier solution]].
--->I again lit up my horn making a spear this time, and lunged.
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[{{Angrish}} Gun! Make a gun! Shoot her!]] ''[[{{Angrish}} Shoot! GUN!]]'' [[AC:''[[RageBreakingPoint GUN!]]'']]
---->'''[=JofY=]''': *shoots [=Crazy56U=]* [[ComicallyMissingThePoint ...is that what you wanted?]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ([[UnexplainedRecovery rubs head in pain]]) No, but thank you, I needed that...
---->'''[=Topher=]''': Would shooting you again help?
*** It gets worse:
---->She dodged grabbed a hatchet and swung I blocked it, and through my spear at her she smacked it away with her hatchet.
----->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': You see, Sabre? That could've been avoided if you would just ''[[WhyDontYouJustShootHim shoot her with the gun that]] [[AC:[[WhyDontYouJustShootHim YOU CAN EASILY MAKE!]]]]''
----->'''[=JofY=]''': [[JerkassHasAPoint Okay, I'm going to actually have to sightly argue that he may not be able to do it.]]
----->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ...if he can sword and spear, ''HE CAN GUN''.
----->'''[=JofY=]''': [[FridgeLogic Can he also bullet? What about gunpowder? Furthermore, he may not even know what a gun is. It's not like gu-]]
----->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (legitimately angry) [[AC:''[[RageBreakingPoint STOP TRYING TO JUSTIFY THIS BEING DRAGGED ON LONGER!]]'']]
----->'''[=JofY=]''': [--...sorry. It's just my job.--]
----->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': And anyway, the real question is "[[HowDoIShotWeb Can he shot web?]]"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:The Discord.EXE Trilogy]]
* Ring had such a hard time trying to find something to riff for the start of 2016 that he just grabbed something at random off of [=FFNet=].
-->'''Ringmaster''': Anyway, Fallen, what came to mind when I first linked you this?
-->'''Fallen Prime''': Other than "why" and "fuck you?"
-->'''Ringmaster''': I was more specifically referring to the whole "IT'S A GIANT WALL OF TEXT" bit.
* From "[=DiscordExe=]":
** The main reason why the Author wrote this story is because he hated Website/{{Facebook}}. [[SarcasmMode Not that you can tell.]]
--->Facebook has the most unhelpful ways to get back your account after being blocked.
---->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': They're actually doing you a ''favour'' but be as angry as you wish.
---->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': So this is pretty much VideoGame/SonicExe [[RecycledINSPACE just with a different character?]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ...so, does this mean you're going to rip off "Film/{{Unfriended}}" then?
--->Especially fake ones.
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Facebook has ''fake'' ways to get your account back?
---->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': They're like that one kid who doesn't stop trying to sucker punch you.
** "This is the story of how Facebook fell."
--->'''Ringmaster''': Not with a bang, not with a whimper, but with thousands of shitty [[Franchise/DespicableMe Minion]] memes.
--->'''[=SC276=]''': This is the sort of thing that one should write down in a Word document and then ''not'' post on the Internet.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[FailedAttemptAtDrama And already the Author has failed, since Facebook is still up and is still a thing.]] A terrible, terrible thing...
** "It was from [']Discord: The Master of Chaos[']."
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''Wow.'' We're just... we're just going in ''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck raw]]'', aren't we?
--->'''Scarlet''': This author's hardcore.
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Bite the mousepad, I'm going in dry!
** "Against my better judgement, I clicked on the link."
--->'''[=JofY=]''': It showed him how [[JustForFun/{{Rickroll}} he wasn't gonna give you up.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[StealthPun What a let-down.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:A Demon's Love]]
* "Blades also had to outlive his mother."
--->'''[=JofY=]:''' You know, it's not the fact that he's outliving his mother that I enjoy. It's that he HAD to. Like it was a chore or something.
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]:'''
---->[Mama Blades] "Now don't forget to outlive me, dear."
---->[Blood] "Aw, but mooooom..."
* This:
-->One word went through his mind.:
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[PrecisionFStrike And it rhymed with "duck".]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Truck? What an odd thing to think.]]
-->"'Shit!'"
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ...okay, fine, it rhymed with "pit", what you want from me, ''I'm only human!''
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak:=]''' ''I'm not.'' I'm a transformable jet fighter robot. And no, none of you can fly me. Fuck y'all.
* "Then it hit him, the perfect excuse."
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Bobby] "I suddenly have the urge to vomit, where is the bathroom?!"
-->'''[=SC276=]''': [Blades] [[{{VideoGame/Undertale}} "I SUDDENLY HAVE TO GO THE BATHROOM. *leaps out window*"]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[StrangeMindsThinkAlike That's literally the same excuse]], but more shouty. ...so, really, it's more in character for Bobby. Tip of the hat, pal.
* ["]I love all kinds though I am partial to reptiles myself."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Of course you are.
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': He's got a real thing for them. They turn him on. [[{{Pun}} It's a reptile dysfunction if you will.]]
-->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': [[StunnedSilence ...Oh wow.]]
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': ''Yeah'', beeyatch.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[WhatTheHellHero I both hate]] [[ActuallyPrettyFunny and respect you so fucking much right now...]]
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Let me guess: [[SpitTake spit-take]]?
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[FridgeLogic Sudden realization followed by scalding anger.]]
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': What can I say? It was a bolt from the blue; once I thought it, I ''had'' to use it.
* ["]I knew the order was out and that is why I don't trust anything that has demon blood in it! and to now know that this was the one that came so close to killing me, and we trusted you!"
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Allow me to properly recreate the shift in storytelling this just took: ([[https://media.giphy.com/media/k7SqcStoYB1Wo/giphy.gif GIF of]] [[Literature/TheGreatGatsby Myrtle's (1949)]] [[SpecialEffectsFailure death]])
-->'''[=JofY=]''': *[[TheyKilledKennyAgain sees Crazy56U's broken form]]* [[UnfazedEveryman ...I'm not cleaning this up.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': What are you talking about, I'm fin- ([[MindScrew also sees Crazy56U's broken form]]) ''[-...what the fuck is going on anymore...-]''
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Did someone forget to turn off the recursion?
[[/folder]]
[[folder:The Trixieverse I: The Grass is Always Greener]]
* Once Ring and Fallen finished introducing the riff:
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': I'm kinda livid, to be frank. I wanted "Sister Dash" to win, damnit.
-->'''Fallen Prime''': Oh my god. ''[[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe You're the one who fought for this.]]''[[note]]In "An Evening With A Pegasus", [=Crazy56U=] [[{{Irony}} was livid that that fic beat "The Trixieverse I: The Grass Is Always Greener" in a poll to be a riff topic]].[[/note]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''That doesn't mean I wanted it to win!'' Plus, ''[[TheBlindLeadingTheBlind I never read this before]]''! I was going off of title! DON'T JUDGE ME!
* "Anyway thanks for reading. Like and follow. Blah blah blah."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': R&R.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Sorcerer] "Listen, I have a pie in the oven, and I've lost interest in this already, let's just speed along here..."
-->'''[[CreatorCameo Sorcerer]]''': [[SarcasmMode Fantastic impression. Really.]] But if you're going to imitate me, [[SelfDeprecation you need to have terrible grammar and bland storytelling]].
-->'''Dark Angel''': Don't take it personally. [[TakeThat He's just not that good of an actor.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[SelfDeprecation I'd be insulted if that wasn't 100% accurate.]]
* "'Come on Trixie think! Think! Think! Think!'"
-->'''[=SC276=]''': ''I do not think you thought your cunning plan all the way through.''
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': 'Cause when we use our minds, and take a step at a time, we can do anything! ([[WesternAnimation/BluesClues BARK]]) That we wanna do!
-->'''Dark Angel''': I can't tell whether Crazy barked on purpose, [[SanitySlippage or if this fic broke his brain that badly.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[MathematiciansAnswer Yes.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Community Shuffle #3]]
* "The Story of Star Shine Sparkle", after spending [[AuthorFilibuster most of the entire fic]] describing the OC's backstory, [[NoEnding ends right before we actually get the titular story]].
-->"[']And this is my story.'"
--->'''Fallen Prime''': ...what is? Where? There's nothing past this.
--->'''[=Ringmaster=]''': Yep, [[CutShort it's listed as complete]] on [=FiMFic=].
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[SarcasmMode What a heartwarming story, gets at ya right here. (pounds on chest)]]
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [[TakeThat Like a goddamn heart attack.]]
** "WHAT?!!" Twilight Shouted in shock. "You heard me."
--->'''[=JofY=]''': [Twilight] "WHAT?!!"
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Star] "You heard me."
--->'''[=JofY=]''': [Twilight] "[[RunningGag WHAT?!!]]"
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Star] "''[[RuleOfThree YOU HEARD ME.]]''"
--->'''[=JofY=]''': [Twilight] "[[OverlyLongGag ...WHAT!!?]]"
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [Twilight] "OK SERIOUSLY, THIS CROWD CAME OUT OF NOWHERE, I COMPLETELY MISSED IT."
** "You're a fool Twilight, you know that?["]
--->'''[=JofY=]''': A clown! A jester!
--->'''[=SC276=]''': How [[SarcasmMode dare]] she believe in ''science''! Also, a fool's fool etc etc.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Star] "[[Film/Plan9FromOuterSpace You're a stupid mind! Stupid! Stupid!]]"
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [Twilight] "That's all I'm takin' from you!" *decks Star*
--->'''[=Scarlet=]''': [[[Literature/TheLordOfTheRings Gandalf]]] "Fool of a Sparkle!"
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Twilight] "Fuck you, too! ([[DidYouJustPunchOutCthulhu decks Gandalf]])"
--->'''[=Dark Angel=]''': [Star] "Wasn't he talking about me?"
--->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': [Twilight] "I'M GOING TO PUNCH EVERYONE! EVERRRRRYONE!"
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Everyone?
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Flutterbat's Harem]]
* After a relatively short intro:
-->'''Ringmaster, a few minutes later''': Alright, time to paste the fic in, and... [[{{Foreshadowing}} oh.]] Well. That's... quite the way to start the actual story document off. Let's press enter a few times to get that off the first page... and done. [[ThisIsGonnaSuck This is not going to end well.]]
** That thing in question? A horribly terrible looking title card.
--->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': [[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe ...are you]] ''[[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe fucking kidding]]'' [[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe me with this?!]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Hint to Author: ''Don't fucking do this.''
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': '''''[[AC:[[PaintingTheMedium OH GOD]] [[EyeScream MY EYES ARE BLEEDING]]]]'''''
--->'''Mononeko''': It looks like a crappy iPhone app.
* "Disappointed, you returned to gazing forlornly at the water's reflection."
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': "It was at this point that you wished you had some bread to toss in the water. Maybe the ''ducks'' would give you the time of day..."
-->'''[=Mononeko=]''': [Duck] [[InstantlyProvenWrong "Fuck that guy."]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[LateToTheRealization Fuck, right,]] ''that'' would happen, [[WrongGenreSavvy forget I said anything...]]
* At one point, out of despair over being lonely, girlfriendless and desperate, the second-person protagonist decides to [[DrivenToSuicide jump off a bridge]]. However, as he falls:
-->[A]ll inhibitions burned away by the tempting chill that the stream below seduced you with.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': The guy is so fucking desperate that he's resorting to trying to fuck ''water'', [[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe dear God in Heaven...]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:The Mysterious Death of the Wonderbolt Leader]]
* Meta example: Seeing the riffers getting more and more enraged as the fic goes on is pretty hilarious.
** Similarly, seeing the riffers get annoyed with how the story both tries to hide that Spitfire is the culprit... and also ''[[TheUntwist blatantly makes it obvious]]''.
* Given the blatant occurrences of ArtisticLicenseLaw on display, [=Crazy56U=] came up with the (shockingly plausible) theory that Equestria only ''recently'' invented the judicial system in light of Soarin''s death.
** What doesn't help matters is that neither Rainbow Dash ''or'' Trixie know what a lawyer is. Trixie doesn't even know how it's properly spelled.
--->And here she was now, Spitfire's [[RougeAnglesOfSatin loiler]],
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[FalseReassurance That wasn't a spelling error]], Trixie's ''that'' stupid.
---->'''Dark Angel''': Well can you blame her? The word was only invented yesterday.
* "Spitfire took the stand next to Rainbow Dash's."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': I don't think this guy's even watched an ''[[VisualNovel/PhoenixWrightAceAttorney Ace Attorney]]'' playthrough.
-->'''Mononeko''': [[InNameOnly I think this guy has only ever heard of the name of the game.]]
-->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': [[EskimosArentReal I think this guy's only heard of the 'law' in myths and legends.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': I think this guy only wrote this story because of a dare.
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[TakeThat I think this guy is just fucking retarded.]]
-->'''Dark Angel''': [[StatingTheSimpleSolution I think Unknown has the right idea.]]
* At one point, Trixie is brought in to be Spitfire's replacement lawyer after her other one was killed. Except she doesn't have any legal experience [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer and was in fact in the middle of performing.]]
-->["A]nd Trixie was just in the middle of another one of her magic shows!"
--->'''Mononeko''': In the middle of a ''fucking'' courthouse...
--->'''[=SC276=]''': One, if Trixie has no lawyer experience, why did she get the job? Two, who is Twilight to decide that? Three, ''I hate everything''.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': So, in other words:
----->[Trixie] "[[WebAnimation/HomestarRunner Gazemaze in gazemazement]] at the Great and Powerful Tri-"
----->[Twilight Sparkle] "(shouting) Hey you, we need a lawyer, come with me!"
----->[Trixie] "Who the fuck are y- NO, STOP, PUT TRIXIE DOWN!"\\
[Twilight Sparkle] "(carrying Trixie; singing) ''[[WesternAnimation/SnowWhiteAndTheSevenDwarfs Hi-ho, hi-ho, to the courthouse we shall go!]]''"
--->'''Dark Angel''': Why didn't we get to see that instead?!
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': So she was dragged here against her will just like everyone else... That explains a lot. [[VoodooShark Except it doesn't.]]
** "'In case you were wondering,' Twilight told everyone, 'This is Trixie Lulamoon, Spitfire's new lawyer.'
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Twilight Sparkle] "[[InsaneTrollLogic I basically kidnapped her, so it counts.]]"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:better season 5 end]]
* "Starlight Glimmer!"
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': As opposed to Sunset Shimmer, who's currently busy with the plot of ''[[CowboyBebopAtHisComputer Equestria Games]]''.
-->'''[=SC276=]''': ''[[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyEquestriaGirlsFriendshipGames Friendship Games]]''.
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': And [[{{Hypocrite}} you]] criticize people for never watching the show.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''[[TheInsomniac I have been awake for 24 hours, that is my excuse.]]''
* Spike's absence in the story doesn't go unmentioned:
-->'''[=SC276=]''': I miss Spike already.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': We all miss Spike.
-->'''[=Mononeko=]''': [[BrutalHonesty Nope.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[VerbalBackspace Most of us miss Spike.]]
* "'Very well 'Princess Of Friendship',' Starlight said pulling a hoof over Twilight's neck, 'I'll tell you what i want.[']"
-->'''[=Scarlet=]''': Too late to start the sexy sax music?
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izGwDsrQ1eQ IT'S NEVER TOO LATE FOR THE SEXY SAX!]]''
* "N-nothing! Nothing! We uh, were...just exploring! Part of a reven-URNEY Journey!
-->'''[=SC276=]:''' A ''what''?
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]:''' A revenurney journey is when you (makes random mouth noises while making vague hand gestures) and then go home.
-->'''[=ToonGuy=]:''' Huh. I never *makes same gestures and mouth noises* when I go on my revenurney journey. I always *makes slightly different noises and hand gestures* instead. Am I doing it wrong?
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]:''' Nah, that's how they do it in France.
-->'''Mononeko:''' Then what the hell was I doing when I did this? *makes entirely different noises and hand gestures*
-->'''[=SC276=]:''' (GASPS) ''Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?!''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Cupcakes / Cupcakes 2]]
* From "Cupcakes":
** "Chapter 1 - Is it a prank?"
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak:=]''': ''[[Music/{{Queen}} ~Is this the real life, is this just fantasy?~]]''
--->'''[=ToonGuy:=]''': ''~Caught by a cannibal, no escape from insanity~''
--->'''[=Mononeko=]''': ''~Open your eyes, look up to your screen and screeeeeeeeam. She's just a poor mare, she needs some sympathy~''
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': ''~Because Dash easy comes, easy goes. Ripped apart, by this ho. Anyways this fic blows, nothing really matters in it.~''
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': ''~Pinkie... killed Rainbow Dash; making cupcakes was her wish, she gutted Rainbow like a fish...~''
--->'''[=SC276=]''': Shhhhh, the fic is starting!
** "Pinkie held up both cutie marks in front of her friend and started waving them like pompoms."
--->'''[=SC276=]''': That makes me question, now that we know those aren't just tramp stamps, would a cutie mark disappear if the flesh it was on was separated from the pony?
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[FridgeLogic ...you just broke the goddamn story.]]
--->'''[=SC276=]''': Apparently not enough. It's still going.
** "'Hmm, I guess I forgot to sharpen it. I'll try something else,' stated Pinkie matter-of-factly as she tossed the knife over her shoulder, embedding the blade in the table."
--->'''[=SC276=]''': I thought it wasn't sharp- oh forget it.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Pointy and sharp are two separate concepts.
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': The fact that this makes sense disturbs me more than the story itself.
** "Chapter 3 - Every Rainbow Has An End:
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak:=]''': I'd consider linking to '[[Film/TheMuppetMovie The Rainbow Connection]]', [[TemptingFate but that would just be a spiteful thing to do.]]
--->'''[[KickTheDog Crazy56U]]''': [[FalseReassurance Luckily,]] ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNM6R6QV9vo I'm]]'' [[FalseReassurance here!]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak:=]''': ''I loathe you.''
--->'''[=SC276=]''': ''~The lovers, the dreamers, and shit~''
* From "Cupcakes 2":
** Meta: Similar to "The Mysterious Death of the Wonderbolt Leader", everyone is just ''dumbfounded'' by how stupid the fic is, and tries in vain to follow the borderline RandomEventsPlot.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Rainbow Factory]]
* ["]I'm sure you've all had the tour of the lower factory, no?"
-->'''[=Scarlet=]''': Nobody cares!
-->'''[=Dragonborne=]''': [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lrr_VVtyUA8 I shall once again bring this beautiful thing to better convey the message, fic.]]
-->'''[=Mononeko=]''': [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqUDg_PKzBk I still prefer]] the Music/{{Queen}} version.
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SB5vV9XI-Qs I personally prefer]] [[WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged this version]].
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Guys, would you please stop this [[WaxingLyrical battle of]] [[Music/BenFolds who could]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8Ohxr3RbP4 care less]], we're about to enter the "memorable" part of this tripe...
* "You are in The Factory. You will never leave The Factory."
-->'''Dark Angel''': Well, when one of them is turned into rainbows...[[FridgeLogic technically they leave the factory then.]]
* "Scootaloo couldn't take it."
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Scootaloo] "... ([[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoDMDnOaMQE proceeds to get up]]) [-[[WebVideo/JonTron No, I-I can't-]]-] ([[{{Homage}} at the door]]) [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Alright, I jus- I gotta leave, okay?]] (is about to leave)"
---->[Rainbow Dash] "Scootaloo, we just started, c'mon man, we ju-"
---->[Scootaloo] "(comes back) Listen, listen, there's a lot to see in this life... (points at Rainbow Dash) ''...not wasting it here.'' (leaves)"
* "'I tried, alright![']"
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': I... ''really'' fucking doubt that...
[[/folder]]
[[folder:My Little Dashie / The Invasion]]
* From "My Little Dashie":
** Just the fact that "''[[TheReveal My Little Dashie]]''" was the fic [=Crazy56U=] kept saying was "the next best thing" to doing "Pattycakes".
** "In fact, it appears to be sleeping. My hands are sweating,"
--->'''[=NaturalGlitch=]''': "[[Music/{{Eminem}} Vomit on my T-shirt already: Mom's spaghetti.]]"
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to [[BaitAndSwitch drop spaghetti]], but he keeps on spaghetting what he wrote down. The whole mom goes so loud, he opens his mouth, but spaghetti won't come out. He's chokin', how, everybody's jokin' now, the clock's run out, times up, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmPW4hwNurQ drop spaghetti]].
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [[WhatTheHellHero Goddamn it, Crazy, I thought I was having a mental breakdown for a moment.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Obscure Crossover Shuffle]]
* From "The Knight Rider Of Equestria":
** ["]Now begone you foul creatures!"
--->'''[=SC276=]''': ...Didn't work, the fic's still here.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ...[[ActuallyPrettyFunny fuck it]], you deserve this more. (gives [=SC276=] [[ItMakesSenseInContext the "You Win!" ribbon]])
--->'''[=SC276=]''': Yay! ^^ I'd like to thank the Academy...
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Obscure Crossover Shuffle #2]]
* From "Ducktales in Equestria":
** After the author goes out of his way to describe Huey, Dewey and Louie, he doesn't do the same for Scrooge [=McDuck=]. Crazy's reaction?
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': He doesn't get a description because fuck the bourgeoisie.
** "Before he left he toke the tape recorder with he."
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': And so the chapter ends with Scrooge [=McDuck=] [[LiteralMinded using a tape recorder as a bong]].
--->'''[=SC276=]''': No, that'd be ''interesting''.
--->'''Dark Angel''': I won't complain if a bong comes into play at any time during this fic. I wouldn't even care what it's used for just as long as a bong exists.
--->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': Ask and ye shall receive. *takes out bong, passes it around*
* From "Dib in the Rainbow Factory":
** "A quick patter of footsteps echoed around the metal walls, the sound making Dib shudder like someone had started rubbing a balloon."
--->'''[=SC276=]''': When does the pony come in? I understand pony.
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[TemptingFate I'm sure you'll regret asking for that.]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[ItMakesSenseInContext Out of context,]] [[SanitySlippage it sounds like you snapped.]]
--->'''Nox''': We've all snapped at this point.
** "A/N I was inspired by a picture by [=InvaderLez=] on DA that had Dib strapped into the Rainbow Factory."
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [=DeviantArt=] is to blame for this. [[SarcasmMode This is my surprised face.]]
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[SarcasmMode Geez, what a shock!]]
--->'''[=SC276=]''': So you couldn't even be bothered to come up with ''your own premise. THIS DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH PONIES.''
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Hey now, the Author made it ''abundantly'' clear that this was a crossover with that fucking song, [[InsaneTrollLogic that's pony enough.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Love Knows No Race]]
* Despite this being his third riff, Calico was promoted to full-time editor [[TroubledProduction because Ring needed help comment voting for part two of Starpops]].
-->'''Ringmaster''': god fucking damnit I just spent three fucking hours comment-voting that last fic and now there's no one to do the intro with me except the new guy we literally added just to help with that
-->'''[=Calico103=]''': Speaking of which, is this rapid-fire succession of horrifyingly bad fanfics a conspiracy to make [[SelfDeprecation the obnoxious new guy quit?]]
-->'''Ringmaster''': [[NotWhatItLooksLike No, you just got lucky to arrive at a particularly horrible time.]]
-->'''[=Calico103=]''': I need a new lucky charm.
** Even better [[KickTheDog is that Ring had these difficulties the day before his birthday]].
* [=Crazy56U=] had decided to start the riff while on vacation, [[RealLifeWritesThePlot and his reward was]] [[KickTheDog Hurricane Hermine forcing him to come home early]].
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': I know you can't see or hear me, [[{{Troll}} but I'm currently pointing at my monitor and laughing.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ([[TakeThat GIF of]] [[Film/GuardiansOfTheGalaxy2014 Star-Lord]] [[FlippingTheBird miming a jack-in-the-box]] [[BlatantLies and apologizing]])
* "He was wearing tight black jeans and a black tee-shirt with a red Irken symbol on it."
-->'''[=JofY=]''': [[Fanfic/MyImmortal And he died his hair black with red highlights?]]
-->'''[=Mononeko=]''': And had some self-inflicted scars on his arms?
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': "Hi my name is Zim Ir'ken Evil Moose Place and I have long zim black hair (that's how I got my name) with black streaks and black tips that reaches [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial my totally normal looking not-contacts eyes]] like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like]] ComicBook/JohnnyTheHomicidalManiac (AN: if u don't know who he is get da hell out of here!)."
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': And don't forget the skull earring.
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': And the collections of dark poetry.
* "Zim sniffed the air, with his non-existent nose."
-->'''[=JofY=]''': It smelled like [[IceCreamKoan a tree falling in the middle of the woods with no one to hear it.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[SeriousBusiness Don't you dare bring that up in my general presence, I have had]] ''[[SeriousBusiness debates]]'' [[SeriousBusiness with my mom over that...]]
* "'I'd like that.' Zim said with a smile."
-->'''Something''': Cue the sexytimes!
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': Ah, here comes the parts that most yaoi readers just want to read.
-->'''[=SC276=]''': [--[[FailedASpotCheck You are so lucky Crazy is on vacation...]]--]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[SarcasmMode Yes, you are so lucky I am on vacation and am not here right now. ...cough...]]
-->'''[=SC276=]''': [[VerbalBackspace Um...]] I call time shenanigans.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[ImStandingRightHere You ignored me and you fucking know it.]]
-->'''Mononeko''': *pulls out a link to a [=YouTube=] video* Sexy sax is ready...
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''I will punch you.''
* At one point, [[http://topaz.beneathmywings.org/stoof/by_topaz13.gif a link]] to a [=GIF=] was posted into the story. [=Crazy56U=] decided to check the link out... and it turns out that it now leads to the ''[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Topps Topps]]'' trading card website.[[note]]This end result seems to depend on the type of browser and/or ISP one uses when going to that link. Some get Topps, some don't get anything.[[/note]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Let's see what this links too! ([[http://topaz.beneathmywings.org/stoof/by_topaz13.gif goes to link]]) ...okay then!
-->'''[=Calico103=]''': [[LockedOutOfTheLoop I'm glad my browser isn't loading that.]]
-->'''[=Mononeko=]''': [[DramaticIrony Seconded.]]
-->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': Thank god.
** "Go there! It's a pic from TOPAZ! Is so pretty."
--->'''[=SC276=]''': It's also dead.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': And baseball cards.
* During Sek's story at the end:
-->But the Rose dared not. For he was warned when created by Allah,
--->'''[=Ringmaster=]''': [[AssPull suddenly the alien is muslim now apparently]] ''[[FlatWhat what the shit is going on anymore]]''
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[{{Catchphrase}} oh sweet baby jesus]]
--->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': Sense, this fic has none.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Sister Dash]]
* The riff opens with [=Crazy56U=] eulogizing the RunningGag of wanting to riff "Sister Dash" while Ring keeps demanding to know who voted for it.
* "[']Her spells have caused serious injuries to our citizens!' Rainbow Dash was horrorstruck."
-->'''[=Mononeko=]''': Okay, [[Music/{{ACDC}} this joke is way too obvious]], so I'm just going to link the punchline [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2AC41dglnM here]].
-->'''[=Vertigo22=]''': Horrorstruck: the evolved form of Awestruck.
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': But not even remotely good as [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2AC41dglnM thunderstruck]].
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ...[[LateToThePunchline which Mono already linked]], [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2AC41dglnM but fuck it]].
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': ...and since [[RunningGag everyone's doing it]], [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2AC41dglnM why stay behind?]]
* "Celestia gasped. 'Those are... my loyal subjects![']"
-->'''[=SC276=]''': And... what ponies in Equestria ''aren't'' your loyal subjects? Well, besides the obvious, I guess.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Princess Luna] "...well, okay, I'll give you that... A bit too broad of a description, but I'll give it to you..."
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [Celestia] "I can't believe that Mare Do Well is everyone!"
-->'''[=Vertigo22=]''': [Celestia] "Luna, why didn't you tell me that cosplaying was the new hot thing to do!?"
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [Luna] "I was trying to save your soul, sister."
* "said Ditzy Doo, pulling off the rest of the costume and tossing it amongst the garbage."
-->'''[=JofY=]''': Yes, the now growing pile of trash in the center of town.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': I'm sad to report this, [[RunningGag but it's been confirmed: recycling is, in fact, a myth.]]
-->'''[=SC276=]''': ''[[BigNo NOOOOO!]] [[WasItAllALie Half of my allowance is based on a lie!]]''
* "She then proceed to write a letter."
-->'''[=JofY=]''': 'F'
-->'''[=Mononeko=]:''' 'U'
-->'''[=SC276=]''': 'C'
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': 'K'
-->'''[=Dark Angel=]''': Okay, class. [[PrecisionFStrike What does that spell?]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[TakeThat The Author!]] :D
-->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': *[[ActuallyPrettyFunny hands Crazy a gold star]]* Well done!
[[/folder]]
[[folder:10/15 Poll Winner (actually SONIC.EXE and its sequel)]]
* Ring constantly bemoans that everyone chose the unknown option in the poll for this riff, much to the annoyance of the other riffers (mainly [=Crazy56U=]). [[KickTheDog And then it turns out they hadn't even finished]] ''[[ProlongedPrologue the intro to the riff]]'' [[KickTheDog yet...]]
* From "SONIC.EXE":
** [=Crazy56U=]'s answer to the "Robotnik" vs. "Eggman" debate? [[TakeAThirdOption "Robeggmanik"]].
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Lost Episode Creepypasta Shuffle]]
* From "A Luna Game Experience":
** "I was searching for MLP fandom games on the web but most of them were skins, gun skins, and others for VideoGame/TeamFortress2."
--->'''[=SC276=]''': Your search terms must suck if you didn't find ''VisualNovel/MyLittleInvestigations''.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[WebVideo/{{Vinesauce}} Also,]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_9m7JfrHfI&t=6m28s flash games]].
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[StunnedSilence ...]]
--->'''Mononeko''': I have so many questions...
--->'''Nox''': [[WhatTheHellHero Why Crazy? Why?]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''Because I no longer have an iota of a fuck to give.''
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[DamnedByFaintPraise Well]] at least it's not [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HT2pxqkww3E this monstrosity]].
--->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': You clearly weren't looking hard, author.
*** And a few lines later:
---->"After playing [=TF2=] on my computer, I started searching for MLP fandom games and after looking at a long list of the games, I found a game that my eye caught-"
----->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_9m7JfrHfI&t=6m28s Pregnant Sparkle Foot Doctor]]"
----->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': ''[[EveryoneHasStandards STOP THAT.]]''
----->'''Nox''': [[BigWhy WHYYYYY!?]]
----->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': '''''[++NOT ONE FUCK++]'''''
----->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': Wimps... Clearly you haven't seen "[[https://youtu.be/HT2pxqkww3E?t=4m57s Bad Teeth Pony]]". No regrets.
----->'''Mononeko''': *[[BrainBleach pours bleach into his eyes]]*
----->'''[=SC276=]''': [[SchmuckBait Thank god I'm not stupid.]]
----->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': [[ThisIsGonnaSuck I get the sense that this is going to be a long riff.]]
----->'''Topher''': [[EvilerThanThou Crazy, you may post videos,]] [[http://www.zeegames.com/game/1188/Pregnant_Twilight_Sparkle_Foot_Doctor.html but only I will show the beast in the flesh]]. Now get in there and drain some pus!
* From "[=MLP FiM S03 EP14=] 'King Sombra's Return'":
** When the fic starts up, [=Crazy56U=] casually admits that he's the reason the shuffle exists.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Oh, by the way, I shared that link with Ring. In fact, I'm pretty sure I caused this whole shuffle. [[SarcasmMode Just to let you know that I care about you guys...]]
** Behold: [[FailedASpotCheck ignorance]]:
--->"Alicorn Twilight Sparkle was at her desk writing a report for Princess Celestia (she still does that after being a princess?!)"
---->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': Okay, hold on. This is supposed to take place AFTER "The Crystal Empire" premiered, right? All he knew was the title of the episodes, not their synopsis. AND YET, somehow, he already knew about Twilicorn, which wasn't announced UNTIL halfway through the season?!
---->'''[=SC276=]''': ''Because creepypasta!''
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': Because he's psychic?
---->'''Mononeko''': Because he's secretly M.A. Larson?
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Uhhh... ...guys? ([[RunningGag pulls out a tape recorder]]) This happens ''after'' "Magical Mystery Cure"... (hits "Play")
---->'''Tape Recorder''': @@First up, it's "[=MLP FiM S03 EP14=] 'King Sombra's Return'"@@
** The title of the so called "lost episode" winds up being so generic, [[RunningGag it keeps being assumed to be the name of the other lost episodes in the shuffler]].
* From "[=MLP=] Season 5 - Episode 14 - True Friendship":
** It's rare when a RunningGag derails attempted drama:
--->"[Pinkie] asked Twilight what was wrong and Twilight looked over at Pinkie slowly, 'Spike is dead.' She said."
---->'''[=SC276=]''': [[SarcasmMode Well we're off to a fine start.]]
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': Well, Spike is dead... [[TheyKilledKennyAgain again.]]
---->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[TakeThatScrappy I know of a few people who could be happy to hear that.]]
---->'''[=JofY=]''': [Pinkie] "What's wrong? Is it the fact that I let Spike die?"
---->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': [Pinkie] "[[TheyKilledKennyAgain Yeah, so what's wrong? He always dies. Always.]]"
---->'''Mononeko''': [[TakeThat And nothing of value was lost.]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Pinkie Pie] "Oh, I was ''wondering'' where he was..."
** "In the end, your friends will just back stab you and leave."
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Except they ''[[BrokenAesop didn't]]''. You ''[[LostAesop killed them.]]''
** "He responded saying that he knows the reason on why the episode was made."
--->'''[=JofY=]''': [[TakeThat Bad writer?]]
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': Bad animator?
--->'''Mononeko''': [[RuleOfThree Bad voice actors?]]
--->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': Bad story in general?
--->'''Dark Angel''': And bad video editors?
--->'''[=SC276=]''': And bad planning in general?
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[RunningGag Bad bad, bad. Bad? Bad!]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsUXAEzaC3Q And the whole world has to answer right now to tell you once again who's bad!]]
** During TheReveal, Dark Angel reaches a shocking conclusion:
--->'''Dark Angel''': [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe I don't believe it.]] A fanfic where Hasbro actually hired [[TakeThat Mykan]] as a writer.
* From ""My Little Pony Season 3 Lost Episode":
** Topher reveals what his first piece of MLP media was: ''Fanfic/CupcakesSergeantSprinkles''.
--->'''[=SC276=]''': ''[[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe ...seriously?!]]''
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[FridgeBrilliance That actually explains]] ''[[AxeCrazy a lot]]''.
--->'''Mononeko''': [[TakeThat I figured as much...]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[StunnedSilence (is gobsmacked)]]
** "After a few hours of watching videos about COD zombies and other miscellaneous things[.]"
--->'''Mononeko''': Ah, he's one of ''those'' types.
--->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [[TemptingFate What other things?]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U:=]''' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_9m7JfrHfI&t=6m28s Like this.]]
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[WhatTheHellHero DAMN IT, CRAZY!]] [[RunningGag Enough with that damn thing!]]
* From "My Little Pony G3 Episode - The Black Dawn":
** "It was Friday, [[ThirteenIsUnlucky May 13th, 2005]]."
--->'''[=JofY=]''': ...huh. They have the right day of the week.
--->'''Mononeko''': Holy shit, somebody actually did research in one of these things!
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': So... [[MeaningfulReleaseDate the day]] "[[Recap/StarTrekEnterpriseS04E21TheseAreTheVoyages These Are the Voyages...]]" premiered...
--->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': [[TakeThat I knew there was a reason that date feels wrong.]]
** "I noticed an odd [movie]."
--->'''[=JofY=]''': "Film/CannibalHolocaust!?"
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': "What the heck is '[[Film/TheAdventuresOfSharkboyAndLavaGirl Sharkboy and Lavagirl]]'?!"
--->'''[=Dark Angel=]''': [[SelfDeprecation Should I feel ashamed that I know what that movie is?]]
--->'''Mononeko''': If it helps, I feel ashamed as well.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[SanitySlippage I had a mental breakdown when I saw]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plUgn_FC0sk Taylor Lautner's musical number]]. :D
* Ring strikes once again, [[BlatantLies claiming that the riff was over]] after the eight creepypastas [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial and that there was no other surprises]]... only for ''Squidward's Suicide'' to start up.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:My Little Pokemon]]
* Behold: the point of no return:
-->"Come on Lighten Love!"
--->'''Something''': [[AerithAndBob That's an OC name if I've ever seen one.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': You haven't met her brother: 'Heavy Petting'.
--->'''Nox''': Or their mother: 'Moderate Malfunctions'
--->'''[=SC276=]''': How about her cousin once-removed: "[[WebAnimation/HomestarRunner Heavy Lourde]]."
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (puts head in hands) [--[[ThisIsGonnaSuck oh god this is gonna be a long day]]--]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak:=]''' Oh ''golly'', yes.
--->'''Dragonborne''': Still ain't got nothing on Foxfire.
* "'Good you have the book.' Twilight said as Spike but the book on a stand."
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Oh, goody, [[Manga/JoJosBizarreAdventure a JoJo reference]], ''[[SarcasmMode classy.]]''\\
'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': Now I'm picturing Star Platinum hitting Lighten non-stop. I think I found my happy place for this story.
* Is it possible to make [[ObligatoryJoke an obvious joke]] painful?
-->Chapter One: A New World
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ([[DreadfulMusician tone-deaf as fuck]]) ''[[WesternAnimation/{{Aladdin}} Shining, shimmering, splendid...]] Oh, fuck, I don't really know the rest of the lyrics to this song... A whole new world...''
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': *even more tone-deaf than Crazy* ''It's a whole new world we're living! (Doo-doo-doo Doo Doo Doo!) It's a whole new way to see! (Doo-doo-doo Doo Doo Doo!)''
--->'''Dark Angel''': *[[EarRape covering his now bloody ears and writhing on the floor in pain]]* Please make them stop singing!
--->'''[=Mononeko=]''': And [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vtz6bvwK9eI cue Equestria Girls music]]!
* "'So our next stop is Sunny shore city.' The brown haired boy said"
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Thank you for that piece of timeline placement, I'm sure if I cared enough I could find a way to make this a paradox.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Well, glad to know Ash and crew are lost as shit, given that it's "''[[RougeAnglesOfSatin Sunnyshore City]]''" you should be going to...
-->'''[=Mononeko=]''': [[CowboyBebopAtHisComputer Given the fact that it's]] "''[[SpellMyNameWithAnS Sunyshore City]]''", you're not much of a help.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (cheerfully) [[DissonantSerenity Fuck you, too!]]
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': Either way, they're as lost as my sanity right now.
-->'''Dark Angel''': In other words, they're hopelessly lost.
* Behold: a mass ClusterFBomb.
-->One was blue with its mane and tail that was rainbow colored. The other was a faded pink with blue and pink colored mane and tail.
--->'''[=SC276=]''': Repetition, because fuck the audience.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[BrokenRecord Repetition, because fuck the audience.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[WordSaladHumor Fuck the audience, because repetition.]]
--->'''[=Mononeko=]''': Fuck the repetition, because audience.
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': Repetition the fuck, audience because.
--->'''[=Topher=]''': Repetition because audience, the fuck.
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': The fuck?
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[RuleOfThree The fuck.]]
--->'''[=Dark Angel=]''': [[OverlyLongGag Fuck, because the audience repetition.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Snow days are forever]]
* Because of the genericness of the OC's name, "Snow Day", several riffers (most notably [=Crazy56U=], [=CaptainPipsqueak=], Topher and [=SC276=]) opted to instead [[MaliciousMisnaming call him practically everything]] ''[[MaliciousMisnaming but]]'' [[MaliciousMisnaming that]]. This netted him a [[IHaveManyNames grand total]] of about '''[[OverlyLongGag 200]]''' names.
* "he saw to it that the desk mare would be of assistance."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Well ''my'' mind went to a dark place.
-->'''[[NightmareFuelStationAttendant Crazy56U]]''': You ''also'' imagined a "[[Film/TheFly1986 The Fly]]" scenario of [[MixAndMatchCritters a half desk/half pony abortion of nature]]?
-->'''[=SC276=]''': [[SureLetsGoWithThat ...sure, let's go with that.]]
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': Seconded.
-->'''[=Mononeko=]''': Thirded.
-->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': My mind goes to many dark places.
-->'''Dark Angel''': You're a riffer. Dark places are par for the course.
* "Well I guess you can say that he invented me."
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[FanFic/TheHuemnCeniped2TheHumenMilipede Doctor Scientist]] [[ArtisticLicenseChemistry invented snow.]] ''Suck it, [[WebAnimation/Snowdrop2013 Snowdrop]]!''
* "He was mad, from what I heard, he held both pony and windigo slaves and forcefully injected DNA into females causing them to give birth to snow ponies."
-->'''[=Mononeko=]''': [[ArtisticLicenseBiology I don't think that's how biology works.]]
-->'''[=SC276=]''': [[DoWrongRight That's not how slavery works either.]]
-->'''Topher''': [[MadScientist *holding a giant syringe* Not with that attitude! *jabs the syringe into Mono's neck* ]]
-->'''[=Mononeko=]''': *starts glowing bright purple* The fuck is happening?
-->'''[=JofY=]''': [[RuleOfThree I don't think that's how doctoring works.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ...wait, is this Topher doing science or Topher doing slavery, [[DelayedReaction that action was a bit delayed...]]
-->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': [[TakeAThirdOption Bit of both never hurt.]]
* "'Hmmm, Pinkie Pie, do ya know anypony bah the name of Secret Papah?' Asked Applejack"
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Okay, Applejack, [[BlatantLies that was a good line read,]] but maybe this time have it sound like ''English'', okay?
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[TheUnintelligible That's not so much an accent as it is making up words.]]
-->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': Maybe if you [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment reverse it backwards,]] [[SubliminalSeduction it summons a demon?]]
* "[[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext Death is secretly the Equestrian NSA.]] ''[[ARareSentence I just fucking typed that.]]''"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Stocking Stuffer Shuffle]]
* From "A Nostalgia Critic and Mlp Christmas":
** "anything like that and i know here is Hearth's Warming but to me its Christmas okay its Fucking Christmas.""
--->'''[=JofY=]''': [[{{Squick}} It's sexual harassment of Santa.]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Instead of Christmas trees, we decorate Christmas dildos.
--->'''[=Something=]''': [[StunnedSilence *is unable to come up with any jokes*]]
--->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': I have nothing to add to this. Nothing in the slightest!
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': ''[[AC:[[PaintingTheMedium LI]][[RunningGag ES!]]]]''
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[RunningGag Shut up.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': You've been waiting ages to do that. Admit it.
** "'Don't forget your umbrealla.' Sandy said in the spongebob clip. ' IIIIIII Didn't!' Spongebob said while singing at the same time."
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': I tried looking up this clip on [=YouTube=] right now, [[SelfDeprecation because I hate myself]], and I wound up finding [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7qFn1mgSZE this]].
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': *eyes start bleeding* ...what the living fuck?
--->'''Something''': Oh, [=YouTube=]. Never stop surprising me.
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': So ''that's'' what wishing you were blind and deaf feels like!
** "Sweetie Belle was playing with Scootaloo Applebloom"
--->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': You know without the period, it makes it seem that Scootaloo and Applebloom [[FusionDance fused together]].
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[NoodleIncident Yet another horrible tree sap incident.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [Scootabloom] "'''''[-Killl usssss....-]'''''"
** "Elusive Nozzles back,"
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': *both palms on his face* ...so apparently this is not only a Nostalgia Critic crossover, but also an ''Fanfic/OnACrossAndArrow'' crossover. Whoop-dee-fucking-doo.
--->'''Ringmaster''': This... this is a Nostalgia Critic crossover where at least three MLP characters are romantically paired with [[ScrewYourself the genderbent versions of themselves what the fuck is going on]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': What happened here was a Christmas miracle, [[Film/PulpFiction and I want you to fucking acknowledge it]]. ''This is your fault.''
--->'''Ringmaster''': [[JerkAss You say "fault", I say "gift".]]
--->'''[=JofY=]''': I'll say that this may be unique material for us, but if you pull something like this again...
--->'''Mononeko''': ''~On the first day of Christmas Ringmaster gave to me / This excuse for a story.~''
** "' Sometimes i wonder what the Colors..meean.' Hubie Singing."
--->'''Mononeko''': "This is painful." Mono saying.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': "''Christmas is fucking dead.''" [=Crazy56U=] saying.
--->'''[=JofY=]''': "[[PoliticalOvercorrectness Hey, we need to be more politically correct. Say the Holidays are dead.]]" [[TakeThat No one saying.]]
--->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': "This year better hurry the fuck up and end." [[HeroicBSOD ToonGuy sobbing.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': *The Captain snored.* *[[Literature/AtlasShrugged Atlas shrugged.]]*
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': And the dish ran away with the spoon.
** " 'Like yourrrr Eyes, where was..I?' Hubie asked"
--->'''[=JofY=]''': [Hubie] "Line?"
--->'''[=Crazy56U:=]''' I think Hubie is dying.
--->'''[=SuperMapslover=]''': Or he's drunk.
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Split the difference: He's got so much alcohol in his system, his liver is melting.
** Right as the second chapter starts up:
--->a Nostlagia Critic and Mlp Christmas Story Review
---->'''Something''': [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Nope, fuck this, I'm out.]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''COWARD''
---->'''[=SC276=]''': [[CallBack Or he's just being]] ''[[IronicEcho smart]]''.
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''Don't you fucking quote me to me.''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Equestria Girls (Rewritten)]]
* Behold, some really shitty formatting.
-->"The Princesses and the Element bearers
-->come out"
--->'''[=Something=]''': WHY IS THE SENTENCE
--->FORMATTED LIKE THIS
--->'''[=Mono=]''': Because the author
--->can't write for shit.
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': Can somebody please
--->fix this damn thing?
--->'''[=Topher=]''': Somebody help,
--->I can't turn it
--->off!
--->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': Oh this is
--->how it
--->all
--->ends...
--->'''[=SC276=]''': (kicks the formatting back into place) Whiners.
--->[[rtl:'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[NiceJobBreakingItHero Nice going, you broke it. Asshole.]]]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Life Change, in 127.8 Seconds]]
* "It looked like a male."
-->'''[=Mono=]''': "I could see that by looking at its... [[BaitAndSwitchComment muzzle]]."
-->'''[=SuperMapslover=]''': Mono, stop it, that's Pip's schtick.
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': "Judging by the size of his big, thick, throbbing... [[BaitAndSwitchComment hind legs]]. Seriously, they look like they could break a rock with just a buck!"
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': "The fact that it had [[RuleOfThree a penis]] was ''also'' a clue!"
-->'''[[TranquilFury Crazy56U]]''': ''[[SarcasmMode Classy]]''. All of you are ''[[WhatTheHellHero real fucking classy]]''.
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[CatchPhrase I'm not apologizing]].
* Each time the Author links to a ''Series/DoctorWho'' soundtrack piece, [=Crazy56U=] offers up an alternative link. '''Every alternative given''' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWpKhVf8hyk links to]] "[[Series/ItsAlwaysSunnyInPhiladelphia Go Fuck Yourself]]".
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Ponyville Love Story]]
* As to give you an idea [[SarcasmMode how vast and expansive]] the fic's plot is, here is the end:
-->What a happy ending to such a romantic story.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [+++'''''[[RageBreakingPoint WHAT]]'' STORY?!'''+++]
* "I would like you to give her a kind welcome along with your friends."
-->'''Mono''': [Twilight] "Pinkie, you know what this means. Get the hacksaw ready."
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Pinkie Pie] "[[Fanfic/CupcakesSergeantSprinkles Hey,]] why ''do'' they-"
---->[Twilight Sparkle] "''[[DiscreditedMeme Finish that sentence and I snap your neck.]]''"
* After Gia reveals that her father outlawed music after her mother died, [=Crazy56U=] becomes convinced the Author is plagiarizing ''Film/{{Footloose}}''.
-->Everywhere you went, you heard music. No one loved it more than my mother. When she died, my father outlawed music.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': We interrupt ''Love is Dead'' to bring you ''Footloose'', because the Author has no shame.
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [[WesternAnimation/SagwaTheChineseSiameseCat By order of his Imperial Magistrate, there will be no singing, from morning until night and from night until morning!]]
--->'''Mono''': I'm like, 99% sure this is the plot of a video game.
--->'''[=SC276=]''': Offhand? I'm guessing ''VideoGame/StellaGlow''.
--->'''Calico''': He wanted to be able to visit the graveyard without being spooked by [[VideoGame/SuperMarioWorld the Ghost House theme]].
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': That's nice, you guys, but this is clearly ''Footloose''.
--->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': Actually, I'd say this is more ''WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaidIIIArielsBeginning'', but sure, ''Footloose'' works too.
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': And back to Rip Off Country we go!
--->'''Topher''': I think it was ''[[VideoGame/DanceDanceRevolutionMarioMix Dance Dance Revolution: Mario Mix]]''. If the king was Waluigi.
** "'I WILL NOT ALLOW MY DAUGHTER TO BE IN A TOWN WITH MUSIC!' He shouted."
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[WebVideo/JonTron Oh, now this fic's good, this fic has some depth to it...]] probably because it's ''Footloose'', literally, it's ''Footloose'', and it ''changed the course of Creator/KevinBacon's career when it came out 'cause it's FFFF[+FF+][++FUCKING FOOTLOOSE!++]''
--->'''Mono''': Well, allow me to make this fic a little bit better, then... [[LateToTheRealization and I just realized]] "Maniac" [[PopCulturalOsmosisFailure is a song from]] ''Film/{{Flashdance}}'' because I'm a dip. [[Music/{{Nickelback}} So,]] here's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BB0DU4DoPP4 a different song]].
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''...why is this helping...''
--->'''[=SC276=]''': I'm not sure where this "depth" is. [[FlatCharacter This villain is flatter than a sheet of paper.]]
* "[[TimeSkip Nightmare Night had come.]]"
-->'''[=Mono=]''': Because nothing fucking interesting happened in the time between then and the last scene.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': You can literally use that sentence for ''any scene in this''.
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Is Ring omitting the chapter breaks again, or is time just that inconsistent in this fic?
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': It's obviously the latter, but for the sake of the joke: ''[[MathematiciansAnswer Yes.]]''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Pre-Event Shuffle]]
* From "Sanguine: The Origin Saga"
** "Sanguine: The Origin Saga"
--->'''[=SC276=]''': Yes, author, we know what the story's title is.
--->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': As opposed to origin chronicles.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Because ''this fucker'' is the one who deserves [[OriginStory an Origin story]]. Him, and ''not'' Waluigi. (fart noise of derision)
** "It was the year 2133 in Equestrian time."
--->'''[=JofY=]''': In Earth time, it's 4:32 AM.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': For Earth, it's 1965 AD.
--->'''Dark Angel''': In internet time, it was the year 8,675,309 AD.
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [[VideoGame/ZeroWing In the year 2101, war was beginning.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[ButForMeItWasTuesday But for us it was Tuesday.]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Wednesday.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': *[[Film/StreetFighter ball drops in the background]]*
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''I know what you were referencing, [[PaintingTheMedium it's called a "joke" fuckhead]]''. (several balls drop in the background)
--->'''[=SC276=]''': ([[ButtMonkey goes slipping across the room yelling]])
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[{{Beat}} ...]] (to Pip; points at SC's retreating form) [[WhatTheHellHero Look at what you've done!]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[UnsympatheticComedyProtagonist *stretches and grunts smugly* Yep; I'm good at this.]]
** "Twilight and Cadence, as well as the other rulers of Equestria, have kept peace for many years."
--->'''[=JofY=]''': All of 4 years.
--->'''Mono''': [[WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender And then the Fire Nation attacked.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': That can feel like a long time.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Things haven't been quite the same ever since Celestia and Luna said "[[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Fuck this.]]" and left for [[RecycledINSPACE Space Hawaii]].
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Not [[RecycledINSPACE Space Disney World]]?
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (scoff) Have you ''seen'' "[[RecycledINSPACE Space]] Film/EscapeFromTomorrow"? Space Disney World is literally Hell according to that thing!
--->'''Ringmaster''': Is it Hell, or is it ''[[RecycledINSPACE Space]]'' Hell?
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': You ''[[RunningGag know]]'' the answer is "[[MathematiciansAnswer Yes]]"!
** "The doors parted and Deoxy stepped in to see a large fetus where the embryo was a month ago."
--->'''[=SC276=]''': I dub him [[VideoGame/TheBindingOfIsaac Dr. Fetus]].
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': I'd have gone with [[{{Squick}} Harlequin]], myself.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[Music/SiIvaGunner Great idea, Pip!]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVJ21LJAEog Puzzle Room]] it is! ([[MyGodWhatHaveIDone buries head in hands]]) ''[--[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3Pr8tFsBlE Ring's gonna fucking kill me...]]--]''
** The absolute crowning moment, however, is when Sanguine's cutie mark is revealled:
--->His mark was a swastika
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': '''''[+++[[PaintingTheMedium WHAT THE FUCK]]+++]'''''
---->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[WebVideo/JonTron BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! I'm sorry, what's that?! Oh, that's just the "YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP" alarm!]]
---->'''[=JofY=]''': Did [[{{Pun}} nazi]] that one coming.
---->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': I understand he's in a pretty foul mood in general. [[{{Pun}} A real sour kraut.]]
---->'''Calico''': ...Okay, this was on my list of "things to maybe expect" so I'm not too surprised... [[WhatTheHellHero but that doesn't mean]] any character's cutie mark should be a ''fucking swastika''.
---->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': Well that went from nought to fucking three hundred!
---->'''Ringmaster''': [[FromBadToWorse It's worth noting]] that this incredibly fucking stupid author intends for it to be a "Buddhist" one and not a "German" one, but that doesn't really excuse the fact that it's ''still a fucking swastika''.
---->'''[=SC276=]''': [[ShownTheirWork So... a manji. It's called a manji. The swastika is a manji put through a mirror-flipping and 45-degree rotation.]] Considering the two have literally the opposite meaning, it just makes me weep for this author's inability to research / having never experienced the original ''[[Franchise/TheLegendOfZelda Legend of Zelda]]''.
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': What... the hell is this?
---->'''Mono''': ''[+[[PaintingTheMedium OKAY! THAT JUST HAPPENED!]]+]''
---->'''Topher''': I don't even mind that it's a Nazi symbol, I mean, if this thing was bred for evil, [[FridgeBrilliance it kind of makes sense]], but [[FridgeLogic WHY WOULD SWASTIKAS EVEN EXIST IN EQUESTRIA?!]] I actually have your answer. Waaaaaay back in season one, during the song "Art of the Dress" Fluttershy requests that her dress be based in "French Haute Coture." Later, Rarity talks about how Rainbow won't look like "a tank" in her dress. This indicates that France and tanks are canon. This means that in all likelihood, World War I and probably II are canon. This means that Nazis are canon. You heard it here folks! ''My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic''! A heartwarming show with ''implied Nazis''!
---->'''Mono''': [[DeadpanSnarker Thank you for looking too deep into a cartoon about talking horses, Topher.]] Now, back to riffing.
--->with a blood dripping blade crossing at diagonals on the bottom left and right of the mark.
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Because ''[[SarcasmMode that]]'' makes things better and not swastika-like! ''[[AC:[[PaintingTheMedium FUCK YOU]]]]''
---->'''Mono''': *sighs* [[GratuitousGerman Für alle unsere deutschen Leser, entschuldigung.]][[note]][[BilingualBonus For all our German readers, excuse me.]][[/note]]
---->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': I'm sorry, do you need a honing stone? Because I don't think that was ''fucking'' edgy enough.
---->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': As it turns out, this is a crossover with Literature/TheBoysFromBrazil ''for some fucking reason''.
---->'''[=SC276=]''': So... a Nazi pirate? ''[[BaitAndSwitch How DARE you involve pirates in this!]]''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Element Seven]]
* "The End Begins"
-->'''Fallen Prime''': That's not how that works, though?
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ...why are ''[[CreatorCameo you]]'' here?
-->'''Fallen Prime''': Ring said this fic was one of the stupidest we've ever run, and based on accounts of what happened in "Sonic - [=EGRainbow Rocks=]," [[BeyondTheImpossible I knew that wasn't stated lightly.]]
* "Some think forever is eternal, it never ends."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': [[CaptainObvious ...Yes, that is the definition.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (busts out the "You Win" sticker)
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': *brings out a "You Tried" sticker*
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[RuleOfThree *tosses a "Why The Fuck Did You Even Bother?" sticker*]]
-->'''Calico''': ''~This is the song that never ends...~''
* "Everything has to end eventually."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Well maybe the eternal is the stuff that when it ends loops back to the beginning, ever thought of that?
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': And ''thank fuck'' for that. Literally the only saving grace of the universe.
-->'''Fallen Prime''': Not true. Mozzarella sticks wouldn't exist without a universe.
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Bullshit. Mozzarella sticks are infinite beyond all nothingness.
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': I want to eat some mozzarella sticks now.
-->'''Dragonborne''': "Eternity ending" is like saying "fresh frozen." Poor use of oxymorons, mate.
* "Josh was thirteen years old and a pro skater."
-->'''[=Mono=]''': [[SarcasmMode Suuuuuuure...]]
-->'''[=JofY=]''': A thirteen year old that gets paid for skating around? So, he's also a [[RougeAnglesOfSatin Justin Bever]] lookalike.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Tony Hawk? [[TakeThat Go fuck yourself.]]
-->'''Fallen Prime''': Don't give him that idea again. Fucking himself birthed ''[[VideoGame/TonyHawksProSkater Pro Skater 5]]''.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[PetTheDog Hey,]] it was better than ''Ride'', so ''nyeh''.
-->'''[=SuperMapslover=]''': Glad to know that Bootleg!Tony Hawk is the protagonist.
* "There were a few kids who were pretty cool, though."
-->'''[=JofY=]''': [[CrackFic Like]] Music/VanillaIce, Music/IceT, and Creator/ArnoldSchwarzenegger.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': CousinOliver, [[TheScrappy Scrappy Doo]], [[Series/FullHouse Michelle Tanner]], [[Series/HappyDays Chuck Cunningham]], [[Fanfic/PastSins Nyx]], ComicStrip/LittleOrphanAnnie...
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [[ParodySue And Mary and Marty Stu...]]
-->'''Dragonborne''': With Creator/ChuckNorris as a teacher? Sign me up.
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Pfft, [[TabletopGame/Warhammer40000 Sly Marbo is ten million times the teacher Chuck Norris is.]]
* "Unlike Josh, however, Tim was a bit of a nutjob."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Right. "Unlike."
-->'''[=JofY=]''': 'Tim enjoyed riffing, and inserting his own universe into those riffs when it made no sense.'
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Weirdo. *[[SelfDeprecation Looks around room]]* Aw ''fuck''...
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': "Steve liked setting squirrels on fire, and peeing in mailboxes!"
-->'''[=Calico=]''': ...
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ([[FriendshipMoment pats Calico on the shoulder]]) Don't let it get to you, just keep it in your mind that the Author will be dead someday. Everything will be fine.
** After it's mentioned that Tim is a conspiracy theorist, everyone decides to [[{{Flanderized}} play it up]], [=Crazy56U=] in particular (with others following suit) having him [[TakeThat reference]] WebVideo/GameTheory.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Steve] "Seriously, how are you not fucking getting this, [[VideoGame/Earthbound1994 NESS]] IS [[VideoGame/{{Undertale}} SANS]], IT MAKES TOO MUCH SENSE!"
----->[Josh] "''Who the fuck is Sans?!''"[[note]][[DontExplainTheJoke "Undertale" came out after this fic was written.]][[/note]]
* "[Twilight] had never believed in conspiracy theories, but something inside her said this one might be true."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': I mean, it's not like myths from the past have come true before. Nightmare Moon? Pfffft, totally fake. You can see the wires!
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Discord? HA! Clearly a polar bear in disguise.
-->'''[=JofY=]''': Queen Chrysalis? No, Cadance was always a raging bitch. She just had swiss the other night.
-->'''Mono''': Sombra? Just Flash Sentry with terrible make-up.
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': The Dazzlings? Just some raging pop girl band.
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Tirek? Just swamp gas, a stray weather balloon and a particularly bright occurrence of the northern lights.
-->'''[=SuperMapslover=]''': Midnight Sparkle? Just Twilight drinking too much moonshine again.
-->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': Don't even get us started on Gladstone! Dirty Apples framed him!
-->'''Giginss''': You becoming an Alicorn? Ha! Only M. A. Larson would ever dare do something like that!
-->'''Topher''': Flim and Flam? Nothing but cleverly made animatronics from a local theme park!
* "Twilight attempted to explain the theory to her friends, but they all just laughed."
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [[TooDumbToLive They didn't even know what a theory is.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': And so, [[WebVideo/GameTheory MatPat]] is being mocked across the multiverse. [[TakeThat I'm glad.]]
* Behold: the fate of Spike:
-->He hadn't survived.
--->'''Ringmaster''': And Spike is immediately dead! A great start to what's sure to be an incredible st- [[SarcasmMode okay, I can't even say that sarcastically.]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[TheyKilledKennyAgain Spike dies every other week]], Ring, shut up.
--->'''[=JofY=]''': Plus, it really ruins the drama you use a contraction that changes the tense.
* "[A] Mickey Mouse costume, like the ones at Disney World."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Even when Disney is literally dead, its reach is infinite.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': This is the most depressing episode of "WebVideo/SomeJerkWithACamera" ever. And that includes the one where he found out the mascots are just people in costumes.
-->'''[=SC276=]''': ''[[TomatoSurprise The mascots are WHAT?!]]''
-->'''[=ToonGuy=]''': ''YOU TAKE THAT BACK.''
** And then, the reveal:
--->There was something strange about this costume.
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': It looked bootleg as fuck.
--->[[Literature/AbandonedByDisney It was photo-negative.]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[StunnedSilence ... ... ...]][[Film/JayAndSilentBobStrikeBack I think Slimebeast gonna sue somebody.]]
* "The seven began to flee, but abruptly stopped."
-->'''[=JofY=]''': They failed the [=RNG=] roll.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': "[[FridgeLogic They all suddenly realized]] 'Wait, [[NightmareRetardant it's fucking Mickey Mouse]], we can take him', and then they proceeded to kick a costume's ass. Jesus wept."
* [[FromBadToWorse And then]] Literature/HappyAppy [[FromBadToWorse appeared]].
-->'''[=SC276=]''': ''oh come the fuck on''
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': THEY JUST WENT THERE.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''[++[[AC:[[RageBreakingPoint GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A TWO-BY-FOUR YOU]] [[PaintingTheMedium CUNTWAFFLE]]]]++]''
-->'''Mono''': ''[+++[[AC:[[PaintingTheMedium GO EAT A DICK!]]]]+++]''
** "It came from this old kid's show of the same name.["]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': It's from a piece of shit CreepyPasta that is technically a trollpasta by [[http://happyappy.wikia.com/wiki/User_blog:Dronian/Revelations the Author's own admission]] ''I am literally shaking right now [+++I HATE YOU RING SO GODDAMN MUCH+++]''
** "Oh, look, his blood is apple juice. Clever."
--->'''Calico''': Did the story just pat itself on the back?
--->'''Fallen Prime''': Someone has to.
--->'''[=SC276=]''': Author, ''we're'' the riffers here.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[RageBreakingPoint I swear to fuck,]] ''I will buy a jar of applesauce and [[PaintingTheMedium shit in it]]''. Out of ''FUCKING SPITE''.
--->'''[=JofY=]''': *backs slowly away from [=Crazy56U=]*
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[AC:[++FUCKING.++] ''[++SPITE.++]'']]
--->'''Mono''': Ummm... you do you, Crazy.
* "The group followed the studious unicorn through the destroyed streets."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': So, they know that the Colosseum is a trap... [[TooDumbToLive and they're going there anyway]]. Am I getting that right?
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': DING DING DING! You, my sir, just won a copy of the home game! (hands [=SC276=] [[BrickJoke a jar of applesauce]])
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Thank you. ...You didn't shit in this one, right?
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Did what now?
-->'''Mono''': *pulls out a tape recorder* Should I?
* "I also hope we can do this all together. We only have one chance in this world..."
-->'''[=Fallen Prime=]''': You say, right after [[DeusExMachina retconning the]] ''[[DeusExMachina entire apocalypse.]]''
-->'''[=SC276=]''': [Josh] "One chance, but multiple continues!"
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ...so YOLO then?
* "And so ends Element Seven."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Why was Element Six afraid of Element Seven? [[{{Pun}} Because Element Seven Element Eight Element Nine! ... :D]]
-->'''Mono''': [[NoJustNoReaction ...No.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': And thus, comedy died.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Return of the Changeling's/My Little One]]
* From "My Little One":
** When the Author mentioned that one of his stories is "The Purge (Rated M)":
--->'''[=JofY=]''': Okay, no matter what, "Film/ThePurge" [[TakeThat has never been associated with anything good.]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Plot Twist: It's literally just "The Purge", copied word for word from the movie. [[RefugeInAudacity How that fic is still up, I will never know...]]
** "We walked into my room and me and jess laughed. Little One was sitting on my record player, on a record, while it was playing."
--->'''Mono''': ...Did this guy just rip off a [[https://derpibooru.org/1001398 GIF]]?
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ...you ''know'' there's an alternative here, Mono. [[FridgeHorror It's a horrifying thought to ponder]], but you know it's there...
--->'''Mono''': [[SchmuckBait Who says I want to ponder that?]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''Because the fact that someone was inspired by this fic enough to make something is a terrifying thought, [[Film/PulpFiction and I want you to fucking acknowledge it.]]''
--->'''Mono''': ... ... ... [[BrainBleach *shudders*]]
** [[ItMakesSenseInContext According to Crazy56U]], in the universe of "My Little One", WebVideo/{{Smosh}} [[ItMakesSenseInContext made]] ''Film/ThePurge''.
** After the Author [[ShamelessSelfPromoter once again shamelessly promotes his other stories in the fic near the end,]] Mono decides to ask a question.
-->Be sure to check out my other stories, The Purge, Thief in Equestria, and Team Angel: Old Testament.
--->'''Mono''': So tell me author, what does it feel like to... y'know... [[UnusualEuphemism lick your own lollipop?]]
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Because licking someone else's lollipop is just rude.]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[SpitTake (spits out a mouthful of Diet Coke)]]
--->'''Mono''': [[NoJustNoReaction ...I'm not even gonna go into that...]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Shepherd of Fire]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Shipping Shuffle]]
* In the intro to the shuffle, [=Crazy56U=] barely reacts to what's going on due to [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4y7UK4nqnQ watching]] the ''Franchise/ToyStory'' trailer for ''VideoGame/KingdomHeartsIII'' on his phone. This includes [[TheyKilledKennyAgain getting squashed by Topher's boat]].
-->'''Topher''': *crashes through the wall on a gigantic boat* [[JustForFun/IThoughtItMeant WHO'S READY FOR SOME SHIIIIIIIIIIIPS?]] I admit, [[HalfTruth a nautical theme]] seemed odd to me at first, but I have to say I'm really getting into it! I- [[FailedASpotCheck Oh.]] ''[[LateToTheRealization ooooooh.]]'' Not gonna lie, [[EvenEvilHasStandards I feel like kind of a jackass.]] And not just because [[SquashedFlat the boat flattened Crazy.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ([[ButtMonkey is under the boat; dead;]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4y7UK4nqnQ iPhone is still playing video]])
-->'''Topher''': Eh? What's this? An advertisement for some sort of electronic game? Well, I guess that's keeping in theme, [[LoopholeAbuse because you can order it online and have it sent to you!]] [[HereWeGoAgain *is sporting a brown uniform as a brown delivery truck crashes through the wall, flattening Mono* I'M READY FOR SOME SHIPPING!]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Quest of the Cool Pony]]
* When the story makes the following assumption:
-->Each and every one of them were different, while at the same time they were exactly alike.
--->'''Mono''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Yep, they are all made of the same plastic.]]
--->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': It's like they were toys or something.
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': Especially when you removed their cutie mark, they would all be equal!
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[InsaneTrollLogic But if everyone's equal, then]] ''[[InsaneTrollLogic no one]]'' [[InsaneTrollLogic is equal.]]
--->'''[=PanzerThiefZero=]''': How can you be different, and also be exactly alike?
--->'''[=JofY=]''': [[ShapedLikeItself Friendship.]]
--->'''[=Dragonborne=]''': [[AWizardDidIt Magic.]]
--->'''Nox''': [[TakeThat Believing.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Flaming chainsaws.
--->'''Topher''': Paying real-world money for cosmetics.
* When Nightmare Moon mentions her plan to prevent another loss, [=Crazy56U=] explains how hard that would be [[StealthPun with a diagram of a series of emojis]] [[http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/cadbortion-loss-edits arranged in a certain way.]]
-->'''Topher''': Damn, WesternAnimation/TheEmojiMovie got [[DarkerAndEdgier DAAAAARK]].
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[TakeThat I don't think that movie needs help to get worse.]]
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [[SelfServingMemory What are you talking about guys? That movie doesn't exist.]]
* "Behold Equestria's secret artifact; [[WhamLine the Element of Love.]]"
-->'''Mono''': [[TranquilFury *breathes heavily* Out of all the goddamn elements...]]
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [[RunningGag Another one?!]]
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': Oh fucking damn, not another one of those.... [[CallBack We had enough with that fucking kid and his guitar!]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[RageBreakingPoint (promptly gets up and repeatedly kicks a hole into the wall)]]
-->'''[=SC276=]''': ''this thing's shown up like five times now''
-->'''Giginss''': A 7th Element now? Let me guess, no, wait, I don't need to guess, that OC is going to get it. WHY IS A SEVENTH ELEMENT HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?!
-->'''[=JofY=]''': Boy, Cadance is going to have some bad placement issues...
-->'''Dragonborne''': Nevermind that, how the hell would ''this'' affect the other Elements of Harmony? Is this gonna be another Element of Leadership bullshit gag?
-->'''[[Anime/DigimonAdventure PanzerT]][[{{Narm}} hiefZero]]''': "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7tJWVKgxgc I can feel you LOVGUH! It's making me STRONGUUUH!]]"
-->'''Topher''': [[FreakOut *Heavy breathing* Because what other elements of good friendships could there be other than love? There's no other aspects that could be much more interesting to explore, like trust or forgiveness, NOPE! SEVENTH ELEMENT'S ALWAYS FUCKING LOVE! ALWAYS AND FOREVER, THAT'S ALL THERE IS! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! DURR! DURRRRRRRR! OOH, I'M AN AUTHOR AND I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING TO WRITE ABOUT IN A WORLD FULL OF NEARLY GODDAMN LIMITLESS POSSIBILITIES AND WELL-ROUNDED CHARACTERS! DURRRRR, I KNOW! YOU KNOW HOW THERE ARE SIX THINGS? WHAT IF THERE WERE SEVEN? OOOOOOO IM SO FUCKIN CREATIVE, OH WAIT EACH THING HAS TO REPRESENT A VIRTUE, DURRR WHADDO I DO? DURRRRRR I KNOW! I'LL DO LOVE! PEOPLE THINK IT'S GOOD BUT IT'S NOT SOMETHING EASY TO QUANTIFY, SO IT CAN BE USED BY ANYONE INCLUDING MY SOOPER COOL OC!]] [+++[[FreakOut DUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRR!]]+++] I... I need a minute.
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Anyway, isn't love [[Film/TheFifthElement The]] ''[[Film/TheFifthElement Fifth]]'' [[Film/TheFifthElement Element]]?
-->'''[=LimpBrisket=]''': [[StealthPun You'd think the Element of Surprise would be more helpful.]]
** [[FalseReassurance Don't worry,]] [[FromBadToWorse it's dumber than you think.]]
--->They knew that the seventh one had went missing during the Day of the Descension,
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': You know, the day they invented the elevator?
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': It was way better than the escalator.
--->so it was not a problem to them any longer.
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': For now..
---->'''[=ThatUnknownpony=]''': Even if we don't know shit about this "day of whatever".
---->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[SarcasmFailure No.]] "Day of the ''Descension''". The "Day of Whatever" was two weeks later.
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': "[[InsaneTrollLogic After all, that was the past, and the past is a myth.]]"
---->'''[=SC276=]''': And ''now'' I've forgotten if "Shepherd of Fire" ''had'' this thing already, [[TemptingFate because I feel like it does.]] (checks) ...Oh right, that was the Element of ''Leadership''. [[WhamLine So]] ''[[WhamLine this]]'' [[WhamLine bunch of Love is the]] ''[[WhamLine EIGHTH]]'' [[WhamLine Element.]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[BrickJoke (gets up again; slams head through wall)]]
* Behold: when an OC frightens Spike:
-->"No wait, I was joking! Please let me go!" said Spike with fear. "Too late now dragon!" said Bolty, just as he prepared to strike.
--->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [Spike] "[[DullSurprise Gee, what a way to go.]]"
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Spike] "Okay, look, seriously, ''[[FridgeLogic really think about this]]''! Is it ''really worth'' killing someone [[RunningGag who will not]] ''[[RunningGag stay]]'' [[RunningGag dead?!]]"
--->'''[=Dragonborne=]''': [Spike] "Oh well, at least I have an infinite supply of [[VideoGame/FinalFantasy Phoenix Downs.]]"
* When Eder runs afoul of Nightmare Moon...
-->"You are the one who almost brought eternal night to Equestria!" said the red alicorn to is enemy.
--->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [[RunningGag "We would have frozen to death!"]]
--->'''[=Mono=]''': "And died!"
--->'''[=Dragonborne=]''': And the other half of the planet would've turned into [[ShiftingSandLand sandy desert,]] given time. I'm amazed nobody even considered what happens over in Eternal Dayland.
--->'''[=SC276=]''': So, [[VideoGame/SuperMarioGalaxy Equestria becomes Flamefreeze Galaxy?]] So... [[FridgeHorror wait, if it's eternal night on one side and eternal day on the other, what's on the "equator?"]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks (Rewritten)]]
* When the setting of [[OnlyInFlorida New Zargoza, Florida]] is reestablished:
-->'''Mono''': The best fictional town to live! Well, except for [[WesternAnimation/TheFairlyOddParents Dimmsdale]]... and [[WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants Bikini Bottom]]... and [[WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb Danville]], and [[WesternAnimation/StarVsTheForcesOfEvil Echo Creek]], [[WesternAnimation/TheAdventuresOfJimmyNeutronBoyGenius Retroville]], [[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy Quahog]], [[WesternAnimation/AmericanDad Langley Falls]], [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Springfield]], WesternAnimation/GravityFalls, [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic Ponyville]], [[WesternAnimation/TheLoudHouse Royal Woods]], [[WesternAnimation/DannyPhantom Amity Park]], [[WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender Ba Sing Se]], [[WesternAnimation/Ducktales1987 Duck]][[WesternAnimation/Ducktales2017 burg]], [[WesternAnimation/StevenUniverse Beach City]], [[WesternAnimation/HeyArnold Hillwood City]], [[ComicBook/{{Batman}} Gotham City]], [[ComicBook/{{Superman}} Metropolis]], [[WesternAnimation/TUFFPuppy Petropolis]], [[WesternAnimation/TeenTitans2003 Jump City]], [[WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}} New New York]], [[WesternAnimation/CourageTheCowardlyDog Nowhere]], [[WesternAnimation/TheJetsons Orbit City]], [[WesternAnimation/DarkwingDuck Saint Canard]], [[WesternAnimation/ThomasAndFriends Sodor]], WesternAnimation/SouthPark, [[WesternAnimation/ThePowerpuffGirls Townsville]], [[WesternAnimation/MyLifeAsATeenageRobot Tremorton]], [[OverlyLongGag the list goes on...]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Uh, Mono, [[TakeThat I count]] ''[[TakeThat six]]'' [[TakeThat things wrong with that list.]]
-->'''Mono''': [[TemptingFate Enlighten me. I only count one. Maybe two.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Dimmsdale, Bikini Bottom, Danville, Quahog, Langley Falls, South Park.
-->'''Mono''': ...How is Bikini B-
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': I am not even going to let you finish that sentence, you'd have to be a fucking ''dumbass'' to not understand why living in Bikini Bottom would be horrid.
-->'''Mono''': ...Fair point, but-
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''No.''
-->'''Mono''': *sighs* Fiiiiiiiine... *crosses his arms and grumbles*
* During Chapter 6's musical number, [=Crazy56U=] decides "[w]hy ''sing''... when you can ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIdLRftdrH8 dance]]''" and proceeds to belt out "The Cha Cha Slide". The end result is that [[EpicFail he breaks his leg when axe kicking the table as his climax]].
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Ring's Birthday Special #2 (Around The Bend)]]
* Because of Twilight Sparkle being so extremely anal retentive, [=SC276=] and [=Crazy56U=] come up with their own independent theories: either Twilight in this fic is actually a poorly programmed robot, or Twilight [[TookALevelInJerkass took]] ''[[TookALevelInJerkass several]]'' [[TookALevelInJerkass levels in jerkass]] after being forced into Alcoholic's Anonymous.
* Twilight trying to determine what street she is on leads into a discussion about the practicality of ''Fanfic/FriendshipIsOptimal''.
-->Of course, she mused, in giving the unknown street a name - even an arbitrary name, a label she herself had chosen - had she not in fact just defined the street, making it in actuality 'Determinate Street'?
--->'''[=SC276=]''': See, this is why "Friendship is Optimal" can't happen: [[LogicBomb the AI would get stuck deciding the best variable name.]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[InternetCounterattack Also because 4chan would DDOS and hack the fuck out of CelestAI the literal second she tried anything.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[RootingForTheEmpire And people say 4chan never does anything good.]]
* "The ponies in the carriage were screaming, filled with horror and dread."
-->'''[=Mono=]''': As opposed to screaming with joy.
-->'''[=CaptianPipsqueak=]''': Or screaming orgasmically.
-->'''[=PanzerTheifZero=]''': Pictured: Us right now.
-->'''[=CaptianPipsqueak=]''': ... ... ...[-[[ComicallyMissingThePoint Screaming orgasmically]]?-]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''OKAY MOVING ON''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:SCARY STORY 2 and A Scary Story]]
* From "A Scary Story":
** Topher is in the Halloween spirit:
--->'''Topher''': *bursts out of a hatch in the floor wearing a Halloween costume [[CheapCostume consisting of several twigs taped to his body]]* [[ComicBook/GuardiansOfTheGalaxy I AM GROOT!]]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''[[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe Oh, what farm fresh Hell is this...]]''
*** [[OverlyLongGag This bit lasts for several lines]], not helped by ''Pip's'' contribution to it:
---->'''Topher''': [I am Groot] "I am Groot, I ''AM'' Groot... '''I AM GROOOOOT!'''"
---->'''[=CaptianPipsqueak=]''': You are Topher, you ''ARE'' Topher... ''YOU ARE TOPHERRRRRR!''
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': For the record, this (gestures towards Topher and Pip) is [[TakeThat the worst bit ever done here]]. [[SelfDeprecation And yes,]] I ''am'' including "LIES! Shut up." in this assessment.
---->'''[=CaptianPipsqueak=]''': [[NeverMyFault Blame Topher;]] ''I'm''' just trying to return him to sanity.
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''You are just as much at fault here.''
---->'''[=CaptianPipsqueak=]''': '''''LIES.'''''
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[RunningGagStumbles (refuses to say it out of spite)]]
---->'''Topher''': ...I am Groot.
** "that would prevent a pony doing something,"
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Because doing things is bad. [[InsaneTrollLogic If we didn't do things, none of the bad stuff in history would have happened. Trust me, I went to college.]]
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [[TakeThat Including this fic.]] Trust me, so did I.
** "She became a sergeant and many a night was spent on sentry duty[.]"
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Because guns ''also'' now spontaneously exist in this story.
--->'''Calico''': Hey, man, if ''VideoGame/ShadowTheHedgehog'' could do it, so can this fic!
--->'''[=CaptianPipsqueak=]''': Actually, guns exist everywhere at all times, it's just they're invisible when not used. [[ArtisticLicenseHistory The extinction of the dinosaurs?]] There's a ''reason'' why nobody's really sure exactly how that happened.
--->'''[=SC276=]''': ...Because there's more than one and everyone's obsessed with being "correct" over accuracy?
--->'''[=CaptianPipsqueak=]''': Which sounds more fun to you: slowly freezing to death or going out in a blaze of gunfire and explosions?
--->'''[=SC276=]''': ''[[StatingTheSimpleSolution Not dying.]]''
** "Goodbye,Granny, I'm a Cutie Mark Crusader now."
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[ItsBeenDone Too bad the girls]] ''already'' tried [[Series/QuantumLeap Cutie Mark Crusader Quantum Leapers]] last week...
--->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': And it failed miserably.
--->'''Topher''': They're still not sure where Scootaloo's soul went, but her body just waddles around and clucks now.
--->'''[=CaptianPipsqueak=]''': The fact that nobody has clued in is... ''worrying''.
* From "SCARY STORY 2":
** After Ring explains that every OC name in this fic is in all-caps, [=Crazy56U=] states this is the SpiritualSuccessor to ''[[Series/{{MASH}} The Grand Rapids O'Reillys]]''.
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [[SarcasmMode Great,]] ''M*A*S*H'' fanfiction [[LockedOutOfTheLoop is a thing I didn't need to know existed ever at all.]]
** "Apple Bloom" [[NoIndoorVoice would like to let you all know]] that [[BadLiar she is totally, really Apple Bloom, for real]].
--->there she sees that Applejack and Applebloom is headed her way with Granny Smith's body.
---->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': ...Already decomposing on top of their backs.
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': And Applebloom vomiting all over the place. Seriously, poor kid.
---->'''[=SC276=]''': Dragging it behind them at the end of her lasso.
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Applejack] "Come on, Apple Bloom, the sooner we have [[Fanfic/CupcakesSergeantSprinkles Pinkie stuff the corpse]], the sooner we can pretend Granny didn't die!"
----->["Apple Bloom"] "I SEVERELY QUESTION THE LOGIC OF THIS DECISION BEING ACTUAL DEFINITELY REAL APPLE BLOOM AND ALL."
** "*Knock Knock*"
--->'''Mono''': ...Who's there?
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[WebVideo/LasagnaCat Jon Arbuckle.]]
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [[TemptingFate Jon Arbuckle who?]]
--->'''Calico''': [[BaitAndSwitch It's Knuckles.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:The Republic of Harmony]]
* "*Ten minutes later*"
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[MythologyGag Darth Daybreaker and all her minions]] [[FanFic/TheConversionBureau were tricked into being at ground zero of a fucking bomb!]]
-->'''Ringmaster''': [[TakeThat Only for Daybreaker to get really mad]] [[FixFic and rewrite everything]] [[TheBadGuyWins so that she wins at the last second and turns all the humans into-]] what were we talking about again?
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ...I ''wanna'' say Star Wars...
* [=ThatUnknownPony=] winds up [[ExplainExplainOhCrap accidentially realizing that]], because Celestia has taken the role of Anakin, Luna [[UnfortunateImplications has taken the role of Padme]]. Or, as [=Crazy56U=] decides to explain it, "Luna's gonna give birth to Creator/MarkHamill".
** [[BrickJoke And when, later on,]] Luna names her newly born son "Skywalker":
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ... (pumps fists) CALLED IT
--->'''Mono''': [[SarcasmMode Gee]], how the fuck did you come up with that name...
* This fan fic was supposed to be a pony-style remake of ''Film/RevengeOfTheSith''. So naturally Han Solo and Chewbacca show up near the end, and it's revealed that ''the events of the actual Franchise/StarWars films '''still happened in this universe'''''.
-->The human known as Han solo
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''[[Film/TheForceAwakens LET THE DEAD REST YOU CUR!]]''
--->'''Mono''': [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer Yep!]] Remember that time Han fucking Solo appeared in Episode 3? Me neither!
--->'''[=PanzerThiefZero=]''': Well, I don't even remember the film in the first place.
--->'''[=SC276=]''': '''''[[FreakOut HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING TRY TO FIND A PONY]]'''''\\
'''''IT'S JUST STRAIGHT UP HAN SOLO'''''\\
'''''AND HE WAS ONLY IN HELPING THE REBELLION BECAUSE HE WAS GETTING PAID UNTIL THE END'''''\\
'''''WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU AUTHOR'''''
* When Han talks with the others about Darth Vader, [=Crazy56U=] decides to go an alternative route:
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Stare upon his majesty and tremble! (picture of [[Film/BackToTheFuture1 Darth Vader, the extra-terrestrial from the planet Vulcan]])
-->'''Mono''': Oh my god... I never knew he looked so much like Creator/MichaelJFox...
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': The magic of cinema, my man.
** According to [=Crazy56U=], the best weapon in all of ''Star Wars'' was Marty's Walkman, with the "[[Music/VanHalen Edward Van Halen]]" tape.
* "'Jump.' Han said in severe seriousness."
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[WaxingLyrical Might as]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EqWN4fT79s well.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:The Tale of No Face]]
* Right off the bat, [[ThisIsGonnaSuck we get a sign of what this week's riff is going to be like]]:
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''Finding a fic was [[PaintingTheMedium dick]] this week.''
** To elaborate, it was decided practically last minute to forgo a shipping-themed Obscure Crossover Shuffle in-lieu of a simple one-shot riff... which almost was borderline impossible due to ''no viable topic being found''. With Ring constantly finding fics that were too long, not rules-approporiate, didn't actually ''end'', or just did not fit the Valentine's Day theme (one fic in particular, according to [=Crazy56U=], was "basically the fucking literary equivalent to ''[[RefugeInAudacity brain cancer]]''"), to the point where '''two hours''' passed and [=Crazy56U=] was literally ''begging'' Ring to abandon the theme... whereupon he almost immediately found what became dubbed "the Anti-Love Equation".
** [[FromBadToWorse And then Ring abruptly realized at the end of the intro something he forgot.]]
--->'''Ringmaster''': ...Damnit, [[LateToTheRealization I just realized]] that [[CuttingTheKnot we should've actually done a fighting-game-related fic]] because ''VideoGame/ThemsFightinHerds'' is out next week...
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[RageBreakingPoint (legitimately upset and angry)]] ''[[PaintingTheMedium I fucking hate everything.]]''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Obscure Crossover Shuffle #3]]
* From "[=5OULS ON D1SPLAY=]: Forest of Light":
** Due to most of the fic being VideoGame/{{Klonoa}} [[SongFic singing]] [[Music/{{Eminem}} "I'm Not Afraid"]] to Fluttershy, [=Crazy56U=] chooses to sing [[Music/MeatLoaf "Paradise By the Dashboard Light"]], enlisting the help of [=SC276=] and [=PanzerThiefZero=]. For the record, [=Crazy56U=] gave [=SC276=] [[HoYay Ellen Foley's part]].
--->We'll walk this road together, through the storm
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''And I never had a girl looking any better than you did!''
---->'''[=SC276=]''': [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Why do I have a feeling I know what part I'm getting...]]
*** Don't worry, [[BlatantLies he loved it.]]
---->You can try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay 'em
----->'''[=SC276 and Crazy56U=]''': '''Cause we were barely seventeen and we were barely dressed!''
----->'''[=SC276=]''': [--[[TranquilFury You owe me...]]--]
----->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [--Fully aware.--]
** Meanwhile, Mono (upset that he missed out) chose to do two different songs out of spite of the use of Eminem: [[Music/VanillaIce "Ice Ice Baby" and "Ninja Rap"]].
* From "Pony JAWS":
** "It was a nice night in Equestria. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were running along the shores of the beach."
--->'''[=PanzerThiefZero=]''': Cue ''Series/{{Baywatch}}'' theme.
--->'''[[ExactWords Crazy56U]]''': [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEEDr6Kwnyw K.]]
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': ...''Series/{{Baywatch}}'' has [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baywatch_Nights a spin-off?!]] ''What?!''
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[TakeThat Not so much a spin-off as a car crash.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Mother Pinkie Pie]]
* Right off the bat, [=Crazy56U=] is ''livid'', screaming at Ring over the choice of this fic. Why? [[ChekhovsGun This is the "brain cancer" fic Crazy56U mentioned back in "The Tale of No Face".]]
** It gets worse when [=Crazy56U=] begins [[RageBreakingPoint issuing out death threats]] after deciding to properly explain what the story is:
--->Pinkie Pie and her children:
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Okay, SC and Ring ''tried'' to explain this, [[TakeThat but fuck them]]: this is a [[FanSequel fan sequel]] to a story called "[[https://www.fimfiction.net/story/169295/we-regret-to-inform-you We Regret to Inform You]]". The story concerns [[PromotionToParent Pinkie Pie becoming the legal guardian of Pound and Pumpkin Cake after Mr. and Mrs. Cake died from weather-related issues]]. [[SincerityMode It's actually pretty good.]] And it ''does not deserve a fucking fan sequel, let alone THIS ONE''.
---->'''Ringmaster''': [[KickTheDog Want to know what makes it worse?]]
---->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[TemptingFate Than the fact that it's a fan sequel?]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''I swear to God-''
---->'''Ringmaster''': That other thing that this is a sequel to that I mentioned? [[FromBadToWorse Now-deleted MLD ripoff.]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''[[PaintingTheMedium If I knew that I could get away with it,]] [[CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon you would be erased from existence with nothing more than a THOUGHT.]]''
---->'''[=JofY=]''': [[UnconventionalLearningExperience But then we wouldn't learn valuable life lessons from riffing!]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''THEN GO TO COLLEGE''
---->'''[=SC276=]''': [[HereWeGoAgain So, basically we're doing "SCARY STORY 2" all over again.]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''[--you will be next after ring i swear by all that is good and pure--]''
---->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [--(insinuating that Crazy understands the concepts of 'good' and 'pure')--] *AHEM!* [[{{Malaproper}} Let's get the road on the show!]]
---->'''Mono''': [[KickTheDog Ring, you do know FimFetch still exists, right? Just sayin'...]]
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''YOU WILL BE '''THIRD'''''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Troll Shuffle (actually Hell Shuffle)]]
* Apparently, despite the shuffle coming out on AprilFoolsDay, it took ''quite'' some time to actually go live.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''Thank fucking Christ'', I was waiting ''all goddamn day'' for this to go live, I wanted us to tackle some good ol' fashioned troll fics for ''God knows'' how long...
-->'''Mono''': I genuinely don't know if you're being sarcastic or not.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Mono, this took so long to go live, I was ''this close'' to [[MoneyDearBoy bribing Ring with real money]] to make it come out before today ended. ''[[SincerityMode I am not.]]''
* From "The Spiderses":
** "[=TWlilight=] opened the [[RougeAnglesOfSatin pook]]"
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': ...there was blood ''everywhere''...
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': It's a regular book, [[{{Portmanteau}} but the cover is made from the hide of]] Literature/WinnieThePooh.
-->'''[=SC276=]''': ''Dude, don't spoil [[Film/ChristopherRobin the Christopher Robin movie!]]''
* Following "The Spiderses", [[TheReveal Ring bluntly states]] that there was no way they would ''actually'' do a troll fic shuffle, [[WelcomeToHell before announcing the shuffle's true intent]]. This is soon followed by [=Crazy56U=], who was arguably the ''most'' excited for this shuffle, [[BrokenMasquerade not even]] ''[[BrokenMasquerade pretending]]'' [[BrokenMasquerade to be upset]], since he knew Ring would do this ever since he gave him the idea.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Anniversary Shuffle]]
* Ring had gone to bed in the middle of material gathering, resulting in [=SC276=] and [=Crazy56U=] being the ones in charge of the shuffle. And apparently, the set up for the document ''could've'' gone better.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': These lines are SC's doing, not mine. These chapters ''do'' have names, [[CreatorsApathy but since they aren't actually in the text, I couldn't be bothered to dump them in here]]. Use your imagination.
-->'''[=SC276=]''': [-Knew I should've done the setup myself...-]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[VitriolicBestBuds I love you too.]]
* From "Forever Faithful":
** "Anywho, the story is 'Forever Faithful' by Konseiga, [[DownerBeginning and it starts with Twilight's funeral happy fucking anniversary.]]"
** Because of Rainbow snapping at one of the palbearers when he tried saying some words at Twilight's wake, it is reinterpreted as [[AdaptationalVillainy Rainbow being mad that someone wanted to say something nice about the deceased.]]
--->The rainbow pegasus cursed under her breath, turning to face the gathered crowd.
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Rainbow Dash] "''Anybody else wanna say something nice about the deceased?!''"
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [Rainbow] "If you do, know that I'll be judging you."
** As it stands, Twilight had died due to being struck by lightning from an out-of-control storm. The riffers' response?
--->'''Mono''': [[SarcasmMode It's not like there were any pegasi to save her...]]
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[SarcasmMode Especially none that are friends with her...]]
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [Rainbow Dash] "And it was ''[[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial totally not my fault.]]"
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[BornUnlucky Twilight wasn't even trying to help with the storm; she was going to the post office to get stamps, when she got struck by lightning.]] Derpy is of the opinion that [[ComicallyMissingThePoint it's the post office's fault Twilight died, and is campaigning to have it be destroyed.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[BorrowedCatchphrase The post office just didn't know what went wrong.]]
*** And ''despite'' having died in an accident, and having been nothing but kind and helpful to the residents and Ponyville, [[KickTheDog it's quickly assumed and accepted that Twilight wound up going to Hell.]]
** "Twilight's th' only one that could've given me a run for my money in honesty.["]
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[HilariousInHindsight And now,]] a dramatic recreation of a scene [[Recap/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagicS8E7HorsePlay from Season 8.]]
----->[Applejack] "Twilight, maybe we should tell Celestia [[BadBadActing she sucks at acting...]]"
----->[Princess Celestia] "[[SpeakOfTheDevil (walks in) Oh, sorry, am I interrupting something?]]"
----->[Twilight Sparkle] "[[DiggingYourselfDeeper (basically panicking) NOPE NOTHING AT ALL WE CAN'T WAIT FOR THE PLAY TOMORROW YOU ARE SUCH A GREAT ACTOR]]"
----->[Princess Celestia] "Aw, shucks..."
----->[Applejack] "[[EnragedByIdiocy (literally about to have a stroke)]]"
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[InVinoVeritas She was only honest when she got drunk.]]
--->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [[TheAlcoholic Then again, she was always drunk.]]
** "Celestia opened her mouth to tell her sister off, but was interrupted."
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Twilight Sparkle] "[[ReportsOfMyDeathWereGreatlyExaggerated (kicks door open)]] [[RageBreakingPoint EXCUSE ME,]] ''[[RageBreakingPoint WHY]]'' [[RageBreakingPoint DO MY FRIENDS THINK I DIED TODAY?!]]"
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [Princess Celestia] "[[HeavySleeper I tried waking you for an hour!]] [[NeverMyFault It's not]] ''[[NeverMyFault my]]'' [[NeverMyFault fault you were coming down from a moonshine bender!]]"
** [[TheyKilledKennyAgain Apparently, Spike died enough times that his spirits litter Hell.]]
--->''Still, it's kind of lonely. I seem to be the only pony here, though I can occasionally hear whispers.''
---->'''[=Mono=]''': Oh fuck, [[CallBack does she have shoulder angels as well?]]
---->'''[=SC276=]''': ''[[TranquilFury don't even fucking joke about that]]''
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': "Granted, they ''are'' from Spike's multiple deaths... [[ARareSentence ...it's honestly kind of weird to put that down into words, to be frank...]]"
** As [=Crazy56U=] describes[[note]]due to seeing it described as being a scary story, and deciding to read it for himself... only to realize "''things get stupid real fucking quick''"[[/note]], the latter half of the fanfic consists of "''[[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext Zombie!Twilight flooding Celestia's inbox]]''".
--->"There's no way..." Celestia muttered.
---->'''[=SC276=]''': [Celestia] "This is so ''goddamn fucking bullshit.''"
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Princess Celestia] "''how can you send mail from hell''"
* From "my love for you":
** [=Crazy56U=] compares this fanfic to doing Speed, given his theory that ''the Author'' did while writing it, as illustrated [[ThisIsGonnaSuck in the literal first line]]:
--->it was a sunny day in ponyvill the sun was shining on one pony rainbow dash she was learning how to use the sonic rain boom.
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[FromBadToWorse ...and to make things worse,]] this "story" is three chapters long, ''and each fucking chapter is a GIANT BLOCK OF TEXT.''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:The Factory]]
* "Anyone with a pulse"
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]:''' (proceeds to check pulse) ... ... ... [[OhCrap (taps wrist) ... ...uh oh...]]
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]:''' Huh. And I thought we were just dead ''inside''...
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Ponymon]]
* "Maybe Twilight knows what you are. She is the smartest in Ponyville."
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Twilight Sparkle] "([[TheAlcoholic fucking plastered;]] [[InstantlyProvenWrong is trying to shove a pineapple down Spike's throat]]) ''BLEND DAMN YOU, I WANT SMOOTHIE!''"
* "Nothing in my studies say anything about a Pokemon would you happen to know anything about Pokemon."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': [[RunningGag Pokemon Pokemon, Pokemon. Pokemon? Pokemon!]]
-->'''[=Fallen Prime=]''': Gotta catch 'em* all! (* 'em = instances of the word "Pokémon")
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[TakeAThirdOption ...]]Franchise/{{Digimon}}. [[CowboyBebopAtHisComputer Digital heroes.]] Digimon are the cha- (is hit with several bricks)
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [[FailedASpotCheck Yes that is what the crossover is about.]]
-->'''[=SC276=]''': (throws another brick) ''[[SeriousBusiness Get the lyrics right next time!]]''
* After the group's fight with Red and Charizard ends with Luna [[DisproportionateRetribution banishing them to the Moon offscreen]], [[FridgeHorror the obvious is pointed out]]:
-->" After you were knocked out Luna fought the charizard and banished It and Red to the moon,
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (matter-of-factly) [[SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome So they are dead.]]
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Instead of, y'know, ''doing that in the first place.''
--->'''Fallen Prime''': ''[[PaintingTheMedium Oh.]]''
-->it was so awesome!" Rainbow Dash [[DissonantSerenity said full of enthusiasm.]]
--->'''Fallen Prime''': "Yeah! ''[[AxCrazy Murder!]]''"
--->'''Mono''': And then VideoGame/PokemonMoon happened.
** This is then followed up by Quilava's [[CapsLock immediate]] [[WhatTheHellHero reaction]] to this [[AlternativeCharacterInterpretation being spun]] into Quilava [[TooDumbToLive not knowing the Moon is real]]:
--->" Mt. Moon or The Moon?" I ask
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[TakeAThirdOption Let's meet in the middle.]] [[AccidentalInnuendo Mt. The Moon.]]
---->'''[=SC276=]''': Kinky.
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [[CargoShip Luna's already done that.]]
--->" The Moon the one in the sky silly there is no Mt. Moon in equestria." Twilight explained
--->" WHAT ARE YOU CRAZY!!!
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Quilava] "'''''[[EskimosArentReal WHY WOULD THE MOON BE IN THE SKY,]] [[RageBreakingPoint THAT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE,]] [[SeriousBusiness I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND YOU STUPID DUMB HORSE!]]'''''"
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [[JustForFun/IThoughtItMeant No, I'm BittplexMutt.]]
---->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[SmallNameBigEgo and I am the mighty Captain Pipsqueak.]]
--->WHY DID YOU DO THAT!!!" I start yelling
--->" He attacked us with a dragon." Twilight tells me
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Because... [[InsaneTrollLogic that's why the Moon exists?]]
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [Twilight] "It was self defense."
---->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Also the moon was lonely without Luna there.
--->" THAT'S HOW POKEMON BATTLES WORK! IT'S A FIGHT BETWEEN TWO POKEMON UNTIL ONE'S UNCONSCIOUS HE HAD KNOW IDEA YOU'RE NOT POKEMON!!!" I continue yelling
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Twilight Sparkle] "(confused) A-and how does that relate to the Moon being in the sk-"
----->[Quilava] "[[KillItWithFire (engulfs Twilight with fire)]] '''''DIE'''''"
---->'''Mono''': [Twilight] "''Well, if you were a being clear instead of shouting like a moron-''"
----->[Quilava] "''[[NeverMyFault FUCK YOU, YOU'RE WRONG!]]''"
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': [Quilava] [[CaptainObvious "And now that guy's gonna die!"]]
---->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': ...so this guy's infuriated because they're ''winning''. [[SkewedPriorities Sure.]]
* This was actually a shuffler due to Mono suggesting an entire fanfic series, with Ring treating it as such by introing each fic covered. It took him until the halfway point [[CreatorsApathy to abandon the pretense]].
-->'''Ringmaster''': Prepare for... y'know, no, these fics aren't worth the effort for that.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe It took you]] ''[[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe until now]]'' [[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe to give up...]]
-->'''[=SC276=]''': ''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck Well that just FILLS me with confidence for this next one.]]''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Silver Quill is now Officially "Cannon"!]]
* Right out of the gate, [[ThisIsGonnaSuck the quality standard is established]]:
-->'''Ringmaster''': We want to do more riffs related to special events or big media releases in general, and doing one for the one-year anniversary of [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyTheMovie2017 the movie's]] release seemed like a good idea. And it just so happened that the only other format-applicable fic written by [[FiveSecondForeshadowing one of the worst authors from the first half of the year]] perfectly lined up with that.
-->'''[=SC276=]''': [[TemptingFate Do I even want to know who?]] Honestly, most of this year has just been a blur of time, so if it ''does'' elicit a reaction from me, that's ''really'' bad news.
-->'''Ringmaster''': [[WhamLine This week's fic is by Kikio3000,]] [[CallBack also known as the author of brain cancer.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': '''''[[AtomicFBomb FUCK]]'''''
-->'''[=SC276=]''': ''[[RememberedTooLAte OH RIGHT, PINKIE'S MOM.]]'' This is just going to be ''GREAT''.
* "I see that Bronies' love["]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[WaxingLyrical Look,]] [[Music/TheDarkness I believe in a thing called love,]] and I can tell you that what just happened, [[Music/BonnieTyler it ain't got nothing to do with love]]. I mean, yeah, [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_Is_a_Many-Splendored_Thing_(song) love is a many splendored thing,]] [[Film/AnOfficerAndAGentleman love lifts us up where we belong,]] [[Film/MoulinRouge all you need is love,]] but ''[[Music/NineInchNails there is no love here.]]''
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': ... ... ... [[SlowClap *slowly begins clapping*]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[ToughActToFollow I could've gone farther, but I kinda blew my load with "Elephant Love Medley".]]
* "Silver Quill would have drowned if"
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': "-God had just decided to look the other way."
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Boy, God can ''really'' be an asshole sometimes, can't he?
* "This air bubble is like the bouncy and plastic Wubble Bubble ball at home!"
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[LockedOutOfTheLoop The... what now? Does that even exist?]]
-->'''[=SC276=]''': ''I'm'' not looking that up, [[WrongGenreSavvy I'm not putting that]] [[EmbarrassingBrowserHistory in my search history.]]
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[StatingTheSimpleSolution Then use your privacy setting.]] That's what it's ''for''.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[StunnedSilence ... ... ...]][[NotSoDire it's just]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2UAzduRseY an As Seen on TV toy,]] [[TookALevelInDumbass you]] ''[[TookALevelInDumbass dumbasses.]]''
* On the topic of Twilight's tenure as Princess at the time of the riff, it's mentioned [[TakeThat the only real stand out thing the show had her do]] [[ItMakesSenseInContext was]] [[Recap/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagicS4E19TradeYa "sending Fluttershy off to slavery"]].
* When Silver Quill and Skystar start dicussing [[OlderThanTheyLook the]] [[YoungerThanTheyLook differences]] [[MayDecemberRomance in their ages]], due to being a hippogriff and a seapony respectively, [=Crazy56U=] decides to pull up [[ObligatoryJoke a certain]] WebComic/AwkwardZombie [[http://www.awkwardzombie.com/comic/minor-setback strip]].
-->Skystar tilted her head in confusion.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ... ... ... ... ... [[GenreSavvy (quietly opens up Google)]] [-Yep, I know where this is goin'...-]
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': "She was wondering why he believed he [[VideoGame/FireEmblemAwakening aged like a dragon.]]"
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Aw, cool, we're on the same page, then...
-->She was confused because she didn't know that Silver was so young;
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (Googles "awkward zombie jail")
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': ...I must give you a cookie for that.
* When the "plot" devolves into [[NoPlotNoProblem a large blob of nothing]], Mono makes an ill-advised decision:
-->'''Mono''': Hey, ummm... your little back and forth is fun and all, but... can something actually, y'know, happen?
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[SarcasmMode Hah, expecting something to happen? In this story?]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''[[WhatTheHellHero Why do you want Kelly to write a narrative, what the fuck is wrong with you, whose side are you on?]]''
* "The heat of their happiness and joy nearly burned them -"
-->'''[[CrossesTheLineTwice Crazy56U]]''': [[Recap/BetterCallSaulS3E10Lantern Much like Chuck McGill.]]
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': "-that it burned them to a crisp."
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[BlackComedy ...damn, I already made the]] ''Series/BetterCallSaul'' [[BlackComedy joke...]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:2018 Holiday Special (The Super Smash Brothers of Melee)]]
* ""he said through his gas mask."
-->'''[=JofY=]''': [Zelda] "You know I can't hear you when you're wearing it, rig-"
---->[Roy] *Muffled exposition*
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (is wearing a gas mask) I don't know what you're talking about, ''VideoGame/HuntDownTheFreeman'' [[InsaneTrollLogic taught us that]] [[SpecialEffectsFailure you can speak clear as day when wearing one of these.]]
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': So now he's talking like Bane from ''[[Film/TheDarkKnightRises Dark Knight Rises]]''.
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': "No one cared who I was until I put on the mask."
-->'''Mono''': Suddenly [[Recap/DoctorWhoS27E9TheEmptyChild I'm]] [[Recap/DoctorWhoS27E10TheDoctorDances getting]] Series/DoctorWho flashbacks [[TemptingFate and I don't know why...]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (still wearing gas mask; to Mono) ''[[TheCorruption Are you my mummy?]]''
-->'''[=SC276=]''': [[FreakOut (screams and beans Crazy with frying pan)]]
-->'''Topher''': [[VideoGame/TeamFortress2 The Pyro confirmed for Smash Ultimate!]]
* Who, exactly, is Master Hand, you may be wondering...
-->"It had No eyes, ears, nose, or mouth..."
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''[[VideoGame/DonkeyKong64 He has no style!]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBercdd0YDw He has no face!]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGm39CweSj4 This monkey is a fucking disgrace!]]''
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': But what if it needs to ''[[Literature/IHaveNoMouthAndIMustScream scream?]]''
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[CrazyPrepared I am]] ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBUXeIqalVI so]]'' [[Music/TimmyTurnersGrandDad glad you asked...]]
-->"it was just a huge floating glove, it did however posses great magical powers,"
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': For example. [[FlippingTheBird (holds up hand: flips the bird)]] Do you know any other being that can do (points with other hand) that?
--->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Yeah, and we can do it twice! *gives the middle finger with both hands*
* Given how Mykan's version of Mr. Game and Watch is essentially the prototype [[TheScrappy for Rhymey]], everyone reacts [[TakeThatScrappy in kind]].
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': And ''speaking'' of me flipping things off! [[RunningGag (picture of him flipping off a Mr. Game & Watch Amiibo)]]
-->'''[=PanzerThiefZero=]''': ...meh. Still better than rhyming 'minute' and 'huh'.
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': ''...even in this fic we can't escape the Rhymey.''
-->'''Topher''': OH MY GOD GAMEY, SHUT THE FUCK UP!
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': ... [[RunningGagStumbles Doesn't have the same feel to it.]]
** And then it turns out that [[EvenEvilHasStandards none of the other lackeys are willing to put up with his shit]]:
--->"Ganondorf just ignored him,"
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': I can't fucking believe Ganondorf is the most relatable character.
---->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': "-For he had no more fucks to give."
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': As with everyone else.
* Apropos of nothing, [=Crazy56U=] decides to believe that Mario and Dr. Mario are [[SplitPersonality the same character]] in the story.
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': For some reason, Roy and friends never saw Mario and Dr. Mario in the same place at the same time...
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': Whenever they fought Dr. Mario, Mario disappears.
** "'Come on'a out and take a' you medicine.' called Dr. Mario."
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Mario] "[[PaperThinDisguise (unconvincingly)]] No, I am ''[[ImplausibleDeniability not]]'' Mario pretending to be a doctor, [[BlatantLies I am a completely different character!]] (shifty eyes)"
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [Mario] "[[DiggingYourselfDeeper *suddenly running to the Titan's side*]] Oh yeah? Well, you come on'a let me stomp ya!"
** And then, during the big fight, Mario gets double-teamed by Dr. Mario and Luigi:
--->Mario was being held at point by his Doctor-counterpart,
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Which, in reality, was just Mario choking himself with a stethoscope. Think ''Film/FightClub'', but sad.
---->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': So, ''[[CallBack The Ponyville Curse]]''.
---->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': You know what they say about fighting your own demons.
---->'''[=SC276=]''': Apparently Dr. Mario had managed to grab a laser sword that just materialized out of nowhere.
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[StatingTheSimpleSolution No, it came from the sky, that's how it works in the games.]]
--->and Luigi. "My own'a brother... how could you?" he asked.
---->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Luigi] "Well, Mario, to be fair, things have gotten kind of weird ever since [[SanitySlippage you went insane.]]"
----->[Mario] "(is still choking himself) What are you talking about, I'm perfectly fine! [[ImmediateSelfContradiction (turns head)]] ''[[ImmediateSelfContradiction Shut up you!]]'' [[ImmediateSelfContradiction (turns head back) Fuck you, Dr. Mario!]]"
----->[Luigi] "(is desperately resisting the urge to cry)"
* ""''WARLOCK KICK!!''" Ganondorf snuck up on [Captain Falcon] from behind."
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': And so, given this is based off of ''[[VideoGame/SuperSmashBrosMelee Melee]]'', [[EarlyInstallmentWeirdness Captain Falcon is attacked by Captain Falcon.]]
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': [[MemeticMutation Trust nobody, not even yourself.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:The Brother's Adventure]]
* "That's right. I met [[VideoGame/{{Dishonored}} The damn Outsider]]"
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''[[Literature/TheOutsiders "Fuck you, Ponyboy."]]''
-->'''[=PanzerThiefZero=]''': As opposed to ''[[ComicBook/AllStarBatmanAndRobinTheBoyWonder THE GODDAMN BATMAN!]]''
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Oh come on, Panzer... [[ObligatoryJoke Are you dense? Are you retarded or something?]]
* "No, It's just... nobody ever stands up to Sunset Shimmer." I then think, "So that's her name?"
-->'''[=JofY=]''': Nope, it's [[Music/{{Boston}} Amanda.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Nope, it's [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brandy_(You%27re_a_Fine_Girl) Brandy.]]
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Nope, it's [[Music/{{Europe}} Carrie.]]
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': Nope, it's [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diana_(Paul_Anka_song) Diana.]]
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': Nope, [[GenderBender it's]] [[Music/TheBeatles Jude.]]
* "[Rainbow]'s the captain of like... Every team at canterlot high."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Including the chess team. [[GoneHorriblyWrong They have not had a pleasant last three years.]]
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Rainbow Dash] "[[{{Homage}} (holds up a chess piece)]] [[WesternAnimation/JohnnyBravo What's this horsey thing again?]]"
---->[Derpy] "[[SmartBall (borderline mad)]] ''It's a knight.''"
---->[Rainbow Dash] "([[MyRulesAreNotYourRules uses knight to knock away one of Derpy's rooks]]) Can I move here?"
---->[Derpy] "[[RulesOfTheGame No!]]"
---->[Rainbow Dash] "[[TooDumbToLive (leans back in chair; kicks legs up onto table)]] [[CowboyBebopAtHisComputer King me!]]"
---->[Derpy] "[[RageBreakingPoint (straight up mad) THERE IS NO 'KING ME' IN CHESS!]]"
-->'''[=BittplexMutt=]''': Including the rock-paper-scissors team.
** "Suddenly we heard a voice."
--->'''[=JofY=]''': Crap, it's God! Run!
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': He finally had it with this story and has come to smite everyone down!
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Rainbow Dash] "(in the distance) ''[[BrickJoke DERPY, CALM DOWN!]]''"
----->[Derpy] "(in the distance; mad) ''COME BACK HERE SO I CAN KICK YOUR ASS FOR FAILING AT CHESS [[ARareSentence YOU DUMBASS!]]''"
* [=SC276=] expresses incredulity that, because of the protagonist's desire to [[ItMakesSenseInContext not alter the plot of "Equestria Girls"]], he implicitly states he ''doesn't'' want to stop Sunset from amassing an army of teenagers to conqurer Equestia. [=Crazy56U=] counters by stating that, ''because'' they're teenagers, [[KickTheDog they deserve what they get]].
* After Luigi is named "Protector of Medicine Hat", [=SC276=] gets upset that the fic's protagonists are inflicting themselves upon [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medicine_Hat Canada]]. [=Crazy56U=], however, rebukes his anger thusly:
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[WebVideo/BestOfTheWorst Are you familiar with something called]] ''Film/RyansBabe''?
* One of [=SC276's=] reactions to "Bend Time."
-->'''[=SC276=]''': ''~[[WesternAnimation/BluesClues Here's the bend,]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KRtN6-DgrY it never fends]] / It makes me want to wag my tend / When it comes I want to [[PerfectlyCromulentWord wend]] / BEEEEEEEEND!~''
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': (rubs face in pain) ''[--for god's sake--]''
* Following SC's extended riff of Sunset [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech bragging that]] [[ForegoneConclusion she's the moral victor,]] all [=Crazy56U=] can respond with is [[StunnedSilence a picture of a concerned dog]].
* "'Oh. Lightningman is dating the pony Fluttershy.' I said to her."
-->'''[=Ringmaster=]''': [Twilight] "Oh, he's got a pony form as well?"
---->[Damyon] "[[SureLetsGoWithThat ...Sure, let's go with that,]] [--not quite sure what's legal around here--]."
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': Well, Mario is dating something with a pulse, so no, it's illegal no matter ''how'' you slice it.
-->'''[=SC276=]''': Necrophilia by law, now that's bitter.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:I just wanted to go to Equestria!:Another Story]]
* "Wait...daylight savings was yesterday."
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[RealLifeWritesThePlot (realizes that daylight savings is tomorrow)]] Okay, fuck you Ring, ''[[ContrivedCoincidence this]]'' [[InsaneTrollLogic was the real reason why you picked this fic, didn't you?]]
-->'''Ringmaster''': [[LockedOutOfTheLoop Wait, it is?]] Goddamnit, I should have delayed the last riff an extra day.
-->'''[=CaptainPipsqueak=]''': [[NeverLiveItDown Considering you thought February had extra days, I think you shouldn't let it bother you.]]
* At one point, Sunset gets mad at Friendo, stating "Nobody beats Flash Sentry at guitar!" Only problem: [[NoodleIncident This scene was never shown.]]
-->'''Ringmaster''': Never, apparently. It's not even an [[SelfDeprecation "I missed a chapter"]] deal, it just... didn't happen.
* Friendo ''really'' likes to think he's [[VisualNovel/PhoenixWrightAceAttorney Phoenix Wright]].
** "and I could've swore that I heard Apollo's objection theme from Dual Destinies, but it was playing and everybody heard it..."
--->'''[=SC276=]''': ''fucking kill me''
--->'''Ringmaster''': It's like if Goth Boy joined the cast of Ultimate Marvel instead of Mortal Kombat.
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [[WhatTheHellHero where do you get off saying words]]
--->'''[=SC276=]''': ''and now you reminded me goth-boy exists what do you fucking want from me''
--->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': ''we all know the answer to that.''
** "'I'm a lawyer.' I state showing my Attorney's badge"
--->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': [Vice Principal Luna] "Uh, that's literally just a fucking Post-It note with '[[CallBack loiler]]' written on it."
-->"And a prosecutor." then showing my prosecutor's badge
--->'''[=SC276=]''': [Vice Principal Luna] "...Aren't those mutually exclusive-?"
---->[guy] "''[[DiggingYourselfDeeper THEY ARE NOT FAKE]]''"
* Sunset tells Friendo that he can't do shit to stop her, lest he "[[WhamLine upset the balance of time.]]"
-->'''Mono''': ''[[FlatWhat Sorry, what the fuck?]]''
-->'''[=ThatUnknownPony=]''': Ok, when did we switch from ''Equestria Girls'' to ''The Cutie Remark''?
-->'''[=SC276=]''': And Crazy thought "[[CallBack moral victor]]" was stupid...
-->'''[=Crazy56U=]''': ''I am going to scream.''
-->'''[=TheFacelessMan=]''': ''...Excuse me, can we back that up for just a sec?''
-->'''Topher''': I repeat, fucking up the timeline isn't as bad as it seems. [[FalseReassurance *picks up his drink with a prehensile tail*]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Toy Story/Mario Creepypasta Shuffle]]
* From "The Black Friday Incident":
** When the workprint suddenly shows a naked, human Woody, who proceeds to rip off half of his skull and eat his flesh, [=JofY=] proceeds to link to [[WesternAnimation/ToyStory1 "YOU! ARE! A! TOY!"]] in order to point out the problem with this scene. [=Crazy56U=], in turn, links to Woody screaming as his head smolders, claiming [[TakeThat that scene describes this Creepypasta as a whole]].
[[/folder]]
