History Funny / Empowered

** One you don't notice the first time you read the volume: during the initial report on Emp's activities as a superhero, supervillain Free Floating Fury thanks her for her discretion as a captive, as he once got blackout drunk in her presence and started talking shit about everyone but Emp didn't screw him by telling everyone whatever he was babbling about... [[spoiler:Except he told her the command phrase to activate his capeteam-killing drone, and it's one of the ''many'' pieces of intel she entered in the Superhomeys' villain database, and the wider superhero community's by extension]].

** The poor supervillains' spooked reactions when Emp [[spoiler: uses all the information her past captors spilled in her presence to kick their asses]]. Especially the FlatWhat from the Brawn-E Boyz and a ''sentient missile'' when Emp [[spoiler:orders the latter to self-destruct]], plus the sheer coincidence that [[spoiler:Cephalopunk's superstitious teammates leave their new lair after Emp convinces them it's haunted... And thus narrowly avoid ''Deathmonger'']].

* Emp, overjoyed with [[spoiler: her promotion]], hugs Thugboy and he complains that she's [[DoesNotKnowHisOwnStrength squeezing too hard and hurting him.]] She then hugs Ninjette, and she complains that she's squeezing too hard and hurting her. [[RuleOfThree She then hugs the Caged Demonwolf]] and he loudly encourages her to squeeze even harder because she's on the verge of [[SealedEvilInACan breaking the bondage gear he's trapped in and setting him free.]]

* Emp gets captured by particularly dumb criminals who put her in CementShoes and are about to throw her into the sea, but to buy time, she claims she's really a man and so is Sistah Spooky, Captain Rivet is a menopausal woman (inside a suit that counteracts heat flashes) and Major Havoc is a cocker spaniel. When the Superhomies rescue her, she has to spell it out for the criminals that she is, in fact, a woman... but doesn't correct them on the rest of the team. It then cuts to Emp lurking in the back while they read tabloid newspapers on themselves.
* In one occasion, a guy managed to kidnap Emp... To use her suit. That works only for her. And he's not exactly in good shape. HilarityEnsues (and BrainBleach).

* Along with SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome for Major Havok in Vol. 3. After Empowered listened to Major Havok, dWARf and Protean comparing (rudely) the super heroines' and supervillainesses' booty, Empowered got her revenge by supplying the entire base with Doujinshi about them. ''Gay Doujinshi''. They were of course outraged and embarrassed. At first. It was when Havok realized it was done by female artists for women that...
-->'''Major Havok''': You know, this is actually flattering.

-->'''Major Havok''': I mean clearly, me, dWARf and Glorpp here... we're a bunch of '''seriously''' compelling and intriguing ass HUNKS OF MANHOOD for these ladies aren' we?... Hey if you don't have plenty of '''HOT FEMALE ARTISTS''' fantasizing you '''INTO GAY SCENARIOS'''... I say you ain't shit son.

-->'''Major Havok''': Cute Asian cartoonist, I'm '''happy''' to be your Fantasy object.

** We'd be remiss to mention some of the doujinshi shown on panel, such as dWARf in a maid outfit, a very odd slash scene between Major Havoc and Protean that seems to skirt between tentacle porn and vore, and of course, a classic sparkly bishie love story about Havoc and dWARf.

* The whole of Thugboy's little '[[JustForPun Ode to Joyful Booty]]'

* Finding out in volume 1 that most of the Super-Homeys got their super-powers from [[BoldlyComing unsafe sex with aliens]] and other metahumans.

* In "Soldier of Love", Emp resists Soldado de Amor's love-powered claymore mines. Why? Because Soldado de Amor is a MagicalGirl and her powers aren't as effective on ''other'' magical girls.

* How does Emp deal with a parasitic infestation in a babyship without killing the mother parasite nor causing the babyship's mother to annihilate the whole West Coast? Easy: ''move the mother parasite in the '''structurally infected floor'''''.

* The Superhomie cosplayers' LotusEaterMachine fantasies under the influence of Anglerfish's light... [[TearJerker except for Emp's fantasy]].
** Capitan Rivet cosplayer: Meeting Jesus and finding he's white, blond, etc.
** Major Havok cosplayer: Creator/GeorgeLucas removing the elements of ''Franchise/StarWars'' that the fans hate, like the Ewoks, midiclorians, the Prequel Trilogy, etc.
** dWARf! cosplayer: Creator/ScarlettJohansson, Gisele Bundchen, and possibly other lovely ladies giving him a blowjob.
** Sistah Spooky cosplayer: Meeting UsefulNotes/AlGore, who is President.

--->'''Capitan Rivet:''' Now, ''put the sexy librarian down.''

* When {{Troll}}s edit Capitan Rivet's Wiki/{{Wikipedia}} page.

--->'''Mechamamba:''' F**k you, fascist stooge! [[PoliticalCorrectnessGoneMad Her gender is irrelevant to her level of super-privilege in the oppressive kyriarchal power structure,]] [[SophisticatedAsHell dips**t!]]

* Along with SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome for Major Havok in Vol. 3. After Empowered listened to Major Havok, dWARf and Protean comparing (rudely) the super heroines' and supervillainesses' booty, Empowered got her revenge by supplying the entire base with Doujinshi about them. ''[[YaoiGuys Gay Doujinshi]]''. They were of course outraged and embarrassed. At first. It was when Havok realized it was done by female artists for women that...

* Daisycutter revealing how much she used [[AliensMadeThemDoIt mind control as an excuse for cheating on her boyfriend]] when she was alive.

--> '''Daisycutter''' *on the cellphone*: "Oh, honeybunny, l'il ol' Daisy only hooked up with Horsepower '''and''' Slamma Lamma again 'cause that creepy ol' Browbeater was mind controlling all three of 'em at once...! Not buying it this time, are you?"

* In Volume 9, after freeing the Super Dead from Deathmonger, Daisycutter [[https://www.empoweredcomic.com/comic/volume-7-page-29 reveals]] she used to cheat on her boyfriend and blame mind control villains when she was still alive.
-->'''Daisycutter:''' Oh, honeybunny, li'l ol' Daisy only hooked up with Horsepower 'cause skeevy ol' Psychoblast was mind controlling both of 'em! Uh huh!
-->'''Daisycutter:''' Oh, honeybunny, li'l ol' Daisy only hooked up with Slamma Llama 'cause pervy ol' Suggestion Boxer was mind controlling both of 'em! Uh huh!
-->'''Daisycutter:''' Oh, honeybunny, li'l ol' Daisy only hooked up with Horsepower '''and''' Slamma Llama again 'cause that creepy ol' Browbeater was controlling all '''three''' of 'em at once! ...not buying it this time, are you?

** Major Havok cosplayer: Creator/GeorgeLucas removing the elements of StarWars that the fans hate, like the Ewoks, midiclorians, the Prequel Trilogy, etc.

** One you don't notice the first time you read the volume: during the initial report on Emp's activities as a superhero, supervillain Free Floating Fury thanks her for her discreption as a captive, as he once got blackout drunk in her presence and started talking shit about everyone but Emp didn't screw him by telling everyone whatever he was babbling about... [[spoiler:Except he told her the command phrase to activate his capeteam-killing drone, and it's one of the ''many'' pieces of intel she entered in the Superhomeys' villain database, and the wider superhero community's by extension]].

* The guys of [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin Advanced Restraint Research]]. At first they and their pirate costumes torment Emp to shoot some advertising videos... Then she points out she's notoriously easy to capture and that sex doesn't sell with supervillains (aside the fact 13% of them are ''women'', it runs against the Unwritten Rules), and convince them to try with the Superhomeys. HilarityEnsues, both due [[EpicFail their many failures]]... And the one success: ''Sistah Spooky''.

** When he explains the above, RSL slips character... And gets pissed when he realizes. Then he notices that, during the battle, he ended up in a fabric store, and throws the fight due childhood trauma of being ''bored out of his skull'' while his mom bought fabric. Emp vows to investigate on how many male supervillains have the same fear.

** When he explains the above, RSL slips character... And gets pissed when he realizes. Then he notices that, during the battle, he ended up in a fabric store, and throws the fight due childhood trauma of being ''bored our his skull'' while his mom bought fabric. Emp vows to investigate on how many male supervillains have the same fear.

** Not to mention Emp's EvilLaugh when she gets the box of Doujinshi from her apartment before taking it to show the rest of the team. [=ThugBoy=], Ninjette, and even the ''[[EldritchAbomination Caged Demonwolf]]'' are disturbed by it.

* The whole of [=ThugBoy=]'s little '[[JustForPun Ode to Joyful Booty]]'
-->'''[=ThugBoy=]:''' [[SophisticatedAsHell I will '''not''' stand idly by and allow a world-class derrière to remain uncommented-upon. That's just how I '''roll''', son.]]

* The bit where [=ThugBoy=] talks about working for a Nazi supervillain. "Yeah, sure I'm half-Japanese, but I'm also one-quarter Italian and one-quarter German! I'm All Axis Power, baby!" When the villain fired him, [=ThugBoy=] stole his PornStash.
-->'''Captain Rivet''': You cruel bastard!

* Even after all the CharacterDevelopment she's had by Volume 10, Emp's self-esteem is still so crappy that when she goes into an ImagineSpot of telling her past self from 18 months ago about all the great things that are going to happen to her, she immediately starts imagining said past self restraining her, gagging her and delivering a ReasonYouSuckSpeech about how even with the recent improvements in her life she's fallen dismally short of the aspirations she had when she was starting out and that she's gained weight besides. [[note]]Past!Emp does eventually admit that the prospect of getting a hunky boyfriend and just generally feeling more positive about life ''is'' something to look forward to, but still, it's sadly hilarious how Emp ''cannot'' keep from beating herself up.

[[/note]]