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!! The book

* When Bella has fractured her finger.
--> '''Emmett:''' Fall down again, Bella?
--> '''Bella:''' No, Emmett. I punched a werewolf in the face.
* Alice and Edward play chess, and because [[ScryVsScry one is a mind reader and the other can see his future actions]], the game is played almost entirely in their heads and is over by the second move.
* Edward drops Bella off at La Push.
--> '''Edward:''' You know, Jacob, if we weren't natural enemies and also you weren't trying to steal away the reason for my existence, I might like you.
--> '''Jacob:''' Maybe, if you weren't a disgusting vampire planning to suck the life out of the girl I love... well, not even then.
* Bella wants to get it on with Edward, who rejects her.
--> '''Bella:''' You won't sleep with me until we're married?
--> '''Edward:''' Technically I can't ever sleep with you.
--> '''Bella:''' Very mature, Edward.
* This whole conversation:
--> '''Charlie:''' You are being... [[TheTalk careful]]?
--> '''Bella:''' ''(horror)''

!! The film

*
--> '''Jacob:''' ''(deadpan voice)'' I kissed Bella ... and she broke her hand ... punching my face.
** And when Bella's getting her hand fixed up:
--> '''Emmett:''' What, did you try to walk and chew gum at the same time again, Bella?
--> '''Bella:''' I punched a werewolf in the face.
--> '''Emmett:''' Bad-''ass''.
* Bella says Edward is 'old school'. Charlie asks her if it's code. Bella is then royally grossed out.
** Even better is the way that Bella abruptly ends that discussion and Charlie's dumbfounded reaction afterwards.
--> '''Bella:''' DAD! I'M STILL A VIRGIN!
--> Several {{Beat}}s as Charlie has no clue how to respond while Bella storms out of the room.
--> '''Charlie:''' I'm starting to like Edward a little more now.
* The somewhat meta awesome of:
--> '''Edward:''' Doesn't he own a shirt?

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