History Funny / DrCraftySeason3

--> '''Crafty:''' "Well, um, I'm going to work on next week's art, yes yes, um, talk to you later? Okay?"\\

--> '''Crafty:''' Yes, I remember the days where I would write about my OC entering various imaginary worlds and conquering beasts from many lands!\\

--> '''Nurse:''' "Now, why don't you tell us a bit about this design?"\\

--> '''Nurse:''' "Doctor, ''no.''"\\

---> '''Nurse:''' "''[[SuddenlyShouting NO EXPLOSIONS!]]''"

--> '''Messi:''' "A lot of people over the years have accused this pairing of romanticizing Stockholm Syndrome, wherein a kidnapped victim feels sympathy... for their captor... Those people are f''[honk]''ing morons. Stockholm Syndrome isn't even a real psychological condition! And if it was, they've got it backwards! Belle doesn't feel sympathy for him, or change her own behaviors for ''him.'' The Beast changes for ''her,'' and becomes a better human! That's the whole. F''[honk]''ing. POINT! But ''nooooo!'' You guys gotta have your whole hot takes and feel so smart for pointing out logical inconsistencies in a F''[HONK]''ING FAIRYTALE! Well, goo for you, buddy. How about instead of doing that, you go out and touch a ''real'' woman instead of ''complaining about stories starring a 2D one?!''"\\

--> '''Crafty:''' "Hey, I ''found'' them like that! They started college as normal humans, and came out looking like this. So don't blame me!"

--> '''CRFT News Reporter:''' "We interrupt your hot garbage for a breaking news report!"

--> '''''Spongebob''''' '''Narrator, with an accompanying title card:''' "A few moments later..."\\

--> '''Jedah:''' "Hello, mortals! Jedah Dohma from Jedah & Jedah Law Services here! You know me, and I know you. [[HypocriticalHumor No need to make an interpretation of something you already know exists]], like my intro!"

--> '''Junkrat:''' ''[muffled]'' "I need healing!"

--> '''Crafty:''' A green diamond, because...''[upward camera pan shot filled with hearts and a posing Crafty]''...PERFECTION, am I right, ladies?

--> '''Crafty:''' ''[Referring to the pile of cash]'' I'm keeping this.

--> '''Disgustilda:''' HELLO!!\\

---> '''Alex:''' "I can safely say without a doubt these are probably the scariest toys I have ever seen in my life."\\

--> '''Nurse:''' "NO! We are NOT doing this. Get back here, you mental miscreant!"\\

--> '''Iida:''' *after finding out the zoo's animals become anthropomorphic at night* ...Oh, that makes sense.\\

--> '''Board Member:''' "So, let me get this straight. You want us to fund your Dry Wizard Cap event?"\\

---> '''Hatsumi:''' "Oh! I just got it! HAND grenades! Hahaha...I see what you did there, Horikoshi!"

--> '''Iida:''' "IS THIS TRUE, CRAFTY!?"\\

--> '''Crafty:''' Hello, what have we here?...A note! Wait, but behind that, a letter!...and there's also this message from Nurse!"

(''Crafty leaves through an archway.'')\\

(''Nurse punches Crafty back into his bedroom and runs off.'')

(''Pepper giggles.'')\\

(''As Crafty describes Steve, Pepper grows increasingly intrigued, but then she starts cringing a little. A picture of [[Franchise/SuperMarioBros Yoshi]] appears onscreen to [[MemeticMutation accentuate Crafty's point about tax evasion]], and after it leaves, Pepper lets out a guffaw.'')\\

(''Harp sounds begin playing as the screen distorts like it's transitioning to a flashback...'')\\

(''A RecordNeedleScratch plays, and everything abruptly returns to normal.'')\\

(''Crickets idly chirp for a while as nothing happens.'')\\

(''The writers still do nothing.'')\\

(''At the sound of a ding, both hosts perk up in recognition.'')\\

(''Katy and Michaela appear and stare Crafty down, audibly growling. Crafty looks very nervous.'')\\

(''The zombies slowly leave as Crafty smiles at them nervously.'')\\

--> '''Messi:''' "A lot of people over the years have accused this pairing of romanticizing Stockholm Syndrome, wherein a kidnapped victim feels sympathy... for their captor... Those people are f(''honk'')ing morons. Stockholm Syndrome isn't even a real psychological condition! And if it was, they've got it backwards! Belle doesn't feel sympathy for him, or change her own behaviors for ''him.'' The Beast changes for ''her,'' and becomes a better human! That's the whole. F(''honk'')ing. POINT! But ''nooooo!'' You guys gotta have your whole hot takes and feel so smart for pointing out logical inconsistencies in a F(''HONK'')ING FAIRYTALE! Well, goo for you, buddy. How about instead of doing that, you go out and touch a ''real'' woman instead of ''complaining about stories starring a 2D one?!''"\\
(''Reaching her limit, Messi'' '''''roars like Godzilla.''''' ''She spends the next few seconds catching her breath.'')\\

(''Without hesitation, Messi restarts her introduction to the #4 spot, as if she hadn't just finished it earlier.'')\\

(''Crafty facepalms.'')

(''Serena leaves.'')\\

(''Crafty just facepalms and walks away.'')\\

(''Skeletor leans in uncomfortably close to Crafty's face.'')\\

(''Skeletor tackles Crafty offscreen, and a beatdown ensues.'')\\

(''The beating stops, and Skeletor exits the room. Inexplicably, he now has the falsely promised'' Crafty ''goodie bag. Crafty gets up from the floor.'')\\

(''Nurse does nothing but stare in confusion as Crafty realizes how dumb an idea this is. Meanwhile, [[WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants a family watching]]'' [[WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants Dr. Crafty]] ''[[WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants has no idea what to make of the Seussions either]]. The mother and father exchange glances before the father hurries to turn off the television.'')

(''Crafty and Nurse appear to take back the show, pushing him off-screen.'')\\

--> '''Junkrat:''' (''muffled'') "I need healing!"

--> '''Crafty:''' A green diamond, because...(''upward camera pan shot filled with hearts and a posing Crafty'')...PERFECTION, am I right, ladies?

--> '''Crafty:''' (''Referring to the pile of cash'') I'm keeping this.

(''Disgustilda peers outside the new window, where a stock image of a construction worker awaits her.'')\\

(''A bewildered Crystelle peers out at Will from behind Disgustilda. The two women then resume their conversation.'')\\

(''Using her magic, Crystelle makes Disgustilda disappear in a puff of smoke.'')

(''There's a SmashCut to a much bigger doll with a similar design.'')\\

(''The background noise cuts out as the camera zooms in on the doll's eyes.'')

'''Crafty:''' Um, yeah! You tell him, Nurse! (''He quietly addresses the audience.'') ''I have no idea what's happening.''"

(''Pickles raspberries in disapproval.'')\\

(''Pickles raspberries in disapproval again as the scene fades to black before the'' Chara-Cafe ''intro plays.'')

(''Crystelle teleports Pepper away and takes her place.'')\\

(''[[{{Beat}} For a while, both men just stare at each other in silence]].'')\\

(''Dumbledore's now wearing a cloak bearing several fast food restaurant logos'')\\

'''Board Member:''' "You drive a hard bargain, Dumbledore, but you've got a deal!" (''Dumbledore leaves.'') "Now, who's the next candidate?"\\

(''Kaiba pulls up a whiteboard that says "SCREW THE EDUCATION, COME PLAY CARD GAMES" beside a hurried sketch of the Blue-Eyes White Dragon.'')

(''The Judge declares Loki guilty anyways.'')\\

(''Loki chucks his Mind Staff at Jedah.'')

(''Nurse punches Crafty in the face and runs off.'')

---> '''Jedah:''' "If you feel that you are under slander or identity theft, from clearly misguided writers, then call Jedah--\\

* Pepper garnered several [[HopelessSuitor hopeless lovers]], who all try wooing her with candy hearts. So many people do this that the kitchen is ''flooded'' with candy. In the ending skit, she receives ''two'' candy shipments of that size!

--> '''Nurse:''' Now, why don't you tell us a bit about this design?\\
'''Crafty:''' Well, it all started when I found these magic die...\\
''(Harp sounds begin playing as the screen distorts like it's transitioning to a flashback...)''\\
'''Nurse:''' ... Yes?\\
''(A RecordNeedleScratch plays, and everything abruptly returns to normal.)''\\
'''Crafty:''' [[BaitAndSwitch That's... it]]! I found them, and then I made a shirt about them!\\
'''Nurse:''' Oh... Well, um... Where did you find them? I'm sure there's an interesting story behind them! Are they cursed by an ancient Egyptian God? Did you have to solve a series of puzzles and climb through magic caverns to secure them?\\
'''Crafty:''' Nope! I just found them in a cursed box of cereal that I bought off Kmart.\\
'''Nurse:''' Crafty... You're kidding.\\
'''Crafty:''' [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer Surprisingly, I'm not]]! Kmarts are all cursed, Nurse! This is a known fact.

'''Pepper:''' "I'm sorry, Doctor, really. I guess the down-to-earth characterization of that OC felt so unexpected, that I just couldn't help it."

* For some delicious catharsis, Mineta gets swiftly punched by Tsui's tongue (which, by the way, is accompanied by a Yoshi sound effect) every time he starts acting lecherously.

'''Skeletor, as he abruptly stands back up:''' "''WHY IS EVERYTHING IN THIS LAB BUILT ON A FOUNDATION OF LIIIESS?!?!''"\\

'''Crafty, weary:''' (''Weary'') "''Where did you even get that...?''"

(''The beating stops, and Skeletor exits the room. Somehow, he now has the goodie bag he wanted. Crafty gets up from the floor.'')\\

--> '''Skeletor:''' "''YOOOOOOOU!!!!''"\\

'''Skeletor:''' (''As he stands back up.'') "''WHY IS EVERYTHING IN THIS LAB BUILT ON A FOUNDATION OF LIIIESS?!?!''"\\

'''Crafty:''' (''Weary'') "''Where did you even get that...?''"

* Running out of talking points, Crafty reluctantly brings up '''shipping.''' He hears someone stampeding over to join in on the conversation, looking apprehensively towards the opposite side of the screen. Then, he's completely blindsided when Mina and Toru trample him from behind as they enter. After ''extremely slowly'' getting back up, Crafty makes a snarky remark:

* Running out of talking points, Crafty reluctantly brings up '''shipping.''' He hears someone stampeding over to join in on the conversation, looking apprehensively towards the opposite side of the screen. Then, he's completely blindsided when Mina and Toru trample him from behind as they enter the screen. After ''extremely slowly'' getting back up, Crafty makes a snarky remark:
-->'''Crafty:''' "I feel like I opened Pandora's Box, but instead of nightmarish wrath, it's girlie gossip."

* Running out of talking points, Crafty reluctantly brings up '''shipping.''' He hears someone stampeding over to join in on the conversation, looking apprehensively towards the left side of the screen. Then, he's completely blindsided when Mina and Toru trampling him from behind as they enter the screen. After ''extremely slowly'' getting back up, Crafty makes a snarky remark:

* Running out of talking points, Crafty reluctantly brings up '''shipping.''' Cue Mina and Toru stampeding in to join the conversation, trampling Crafty as they enter the screen.

* The explosive impact of Crafty's final punch lifts Disgustilda--and somehow ''only'' Disgustilda--off-balance. She can barely regain her footing until the force dissipates.

!!Main Show 65. - "GEMS!"Truly Outrageous!"

!!Main Show 64. - Socializing is Arcane]]
* To help Nurse ease out of her distress, Crafty has her join him in a roleplay segment with his toys. It's very goofy and as off-the-walls nuts as one can expect, but the context makes it fairly heartwarming... Then, the scene wraps back around to being funny again as Pepper and Messibelle look on from an open doorway, deeply perplexed.

!!Main Show 65. - GEMS! "Truly Outrageous!"

!!Main Show 55. - Mischief Match Maker]]

[[AC: [=EP51=]: Crafty Hearts Re:Grouped]]

[[AC: ''Chara-Cafe'' [=EP7=]: Hyde and Shriek]]

[[AC: ''Top Ten Tub'' [=EP7=]: Crafty Fan Characters!]]

[[AC: ''Questionable Qloset'' [=EP1=]: Enter the Qloset]]

[[AC: [=EP52=]: It's Only a Model...]]

[[AC: [=EP53=]: The Art of the Con(vention)]]

[[AC: [=EP54=]: Going Poster]]

[[AC: ''Chara-Cafe'' [=EP8=]: Ad-ORC-able!]]

[[AC: ''Top Ten Tub'' [=EP8=]: Couples!]]

[[AC: ''Questionable Qloset'' [=EP2=]: Return to the Qloset]]

[[AC: [=EP55=]: Mischief Match Maker]]

[[AC: [=EP56=]: Blind Hate]]

[[AC: [=EP57=]: This is Crack(ship)]]

[[AC: [=EP58=]: [=LoveCrafty=]]]

[[AC: ''Chara-Cafe'' [=EP9=]: Pirates VS Doctors]]

[[AC: ''Top Ten Tub'' [=EP9=]: Original Characters 2]]

[[AC: ''Questionable Qloset'' [=EP3=]: Door Number 3]]

[[AC: [=EP59=]: Blown A Fusion]]

[[AC: [=EP60=]: Fiction is Stranger Than Truth]]

[[AC: [=EP61=]: Dragon, Dragon! Mock the Dragon!]]

[[AC: [=EP62=]: Charablanca]]

[[AC: [=EP63=]: Something Weird This Way Comes]]

[[AC: [=EP64=]: Socializing is Arcane]]

[[AC: [=EP65=]: GEMS! Truly Outrageous!]]

[[AC: [=EP66=]: Titans! Reboot!]]

[[AC: ''Top Ten Tub'' [=EP10=]: Funniest Characters]]

[[AC: ''Chara-Cafe'' [=EP10=]: Duck and Cover]]

[[AC: ''Questionable Qloset'' [=EP4=]: Atop the 4th door]]

[[AC: ''Questionable Qloset'' [=EP5=]: The little Purple House]]

[[AC: ''Top Ten Tub'' [=EP11=]: Disney Characters]]

[[AC: ''Chara-Cafe'' [=EP11=]: I'MA VAMPIRE!]]

[[AC: [=EP67=]: Epcot Escapades]]

[[AC: [=EP68=]: Hollywood Hilarity]]

[[AC: [=EP69=]: Animal Kingdom Antics]]

[[AC: [=EP70=]: Magic Kingdom Mania]]

[[AC: In General]]

[[AC: Spinoff Special]]

[[AC: [=EP71=]: "I Need a Hero Academia" Part 1]]

[[AC: [=EP72=]: "I Need a Hero Academia" Part 2]]

[[AC: [=EP73=]: "I Need a Hero Academia" Part 3]]

[[AC: [=EP74=]: "I Need a Hero Academia" Part 4 (Part 1)]]

[[AC: [=EP74=]: "I Need a Hero Academia" Part 4 (Part 2)]]

[[AC: [=EP3=]: Here we go!]]

[[AC: [=EP4=]: Some Assembly Required]]

[[AC: [=EP5=]: She's back... In pink?]]

[[AC: [=EP6=]: Now it's S(he)Hulk Time!]]

* With the #1 spot going to Ruby and Sapphire from ''Steven Universe,'' Messi expresses her dream of having her very own lesbian wedding...and then Serena floats in from above, offering herself up in an elaborate wedding gown to the Hallelujah Chorus. Crafty swiftly swats her away with an oversized fly swatter. Soon after, Serena reapproaches Messi about joining her during her Valentines' day tradition, and Messi ''still'' doesn't register her obvious crush.

* With the #1 spot going to Ruby and Sapphire from ''Steven Universe,'' Messi expresses her dream of having her very own lesbian wedding...and then Serena floats in from above, offering herself up in an elaborate wedding gown to the Hallelujah Chorus. Crafty swiftly swats her away with an oversized fly swatter.

(''Without hesitation, Messi restarts her introduction to the #4 spot as if she hadn't just finished it earlier.'')\\

--> '''Crafty:''' Hey, I ''found'' them like that! They started college as normal humans, and came out looking like this. So don't blame me!

* An impatient Crafty wants to see the finished concoction -- An orc warrior and steampunk scientist couple -- a lot sooner than expected. He tries urging the writers to wrap things up.

'''Nurse:''' "I -- I have no words..."\\

* During Nurse's shipping piece's production, Crafty finally arrives. But he's not here to commentate -- he's still too upset for it; he's just looking for some cookies to eat the stress away. As he chats with Nurse, he absentmindedly walks across the screen then slowly ducks down offscreen. Right as Nurse says "I don't have time for your silliness right now," Crafty pops back up ''really'' close to the camera for some reason.

* In the ''Crafty''-verse, Davy Jone's Locker turns out to be the ''WesternAnimation/SpongebobSquarepants'' incarnation -- a gym locker.

'''Disgustilda:''' "Yeah, I know mate -- made it bloody difficult, that's for sure. But where there's a will, there's a way!"\\

* For the entirety of Disney Month, Starting here, Crafty hires a patsy to document his experiences at the various Disney parks. The Patsy turns out to be [[CreatorCameo Alex himself]] -- the viewers get a taste of his sense of humor when he's not acting.

*** For Kermit, he sings: "It's not easy, being green... having to spend each day -- literally -- made out of leaves!"

* Messi and Pepper start the ''Top Ten Tub'' episode off with ComicBook/TheQuestion. Or rather, they ''try'' to -- Pepper misunderstands and [[WhosOnFirst keeps wondering if Messi's trying to ask her something]]. Crystelle, [[OverlyLongGag after a long few seconds of this exchange]], steps in for Pepper to move the video along.

* The explosive impact of Crafty's final punch lifts Disgustilda -- and somehow ''only'' Disgustilda -- off her feet. She can barely regain her footing until the force dissipates.

[[center:[[WMG:[- [[Funny/DrCrafty Main Index]] | [[Funny/DrCraftySeason1 Season 1]] | [[Funny/DrCraftySeason2 Season 2]] | '''Season 3''' | [[Funny/DrCraftySeason4 Season 4]] -]]]]]