History Funny / DowntonAbbey

---> '''Anna''': I feel like going back tomorrow and ordering a baker's dozen.

* Violet promptly standing up when the King's voice comes over the radio, getting the rest of the family to follow.

---> '''Jimmy''': Maybe she just wants to talk.
---> '''Thomas''': Maybe I'm the missing tsarevitch.

---> '''Lady Grantham:''' Good heavens, what am I sitting on!?
---> '''Matthew Crawley:''' Er...swivel...chair.
---> '''Lady Grantham:''' Another modern brainwave?
---> '''Matthew Crawley:''' Hardly. They were invented by UsefulNotes/ThomasJefferson.
---> '''Lady Grantham:''' Why does every day involve a fight with an American?

---> '''Lady Grantham:''' Of course it would happen to a foreigner. It's typical. No Englishman would dream of dying in someone else's house - especially somebody they didn't even know.

---> '''Lady Grantham:''' We can't have him assassinated. . .I suppose.

--> '''Lady Grantham:''' It's not that I dislike him, I just don't like him.

--> '''Lady Grantham:''' Oh, don't be, don't be - it was a wedding present from a frightful aunt. I have ''hated'' it for half a century.

--> '''Lady Grantham:''' Exactly.

* The Dowager Countess and Mrs Crawley discussing Lord Merton courting the latter:
--> '''Violet:''' He just wants what all men want.
--> '''Isobel:''' (''scandalized'') Oh, don't be ridiculous!
--> '''Violet:''' I was referring to companionship... As I hope ''you'' were.

* The final shot of series 4 (minus the Christmas special): Violet, Rosamund, and Isobel all surreptitiously leaning forward to watch Mary's suitors all driving off together.

** Her's unimpressed reply to Rosamund's and Edith's flimsy excuse to want to travel Europe for several months to improve Rosamund's French skills.

* When Mary meets with Jack Ross [[spoiler:to convince him to break things off with Rose]], the entire scene is more or less very bittersweet from start to finish. There is one amusing quip from Mary, though. When Jack guesses that Lord Grantham wouldn't be very happy to have [[spoiler:a black in-law]], Mary says, "To be fair to Papa, I think he'd be more shocked by the fact that you're a singer in a nightclub."

* Mary is hilariously offended by Charles Blake calling her ''aloof'', never mind that it's both a rather apt description and one of the nicer words that could be used for her attitude.

** "What is the plural term for suitors?"

---> '''Robert''': Sampson hammered [Michael Gregson]. He took it like a man, I will say that.
---> '''Cora''': Hope you weren't caught up in it.
---> '''Robert''': ''flustered'' I was...more of a spectator.

--> '''Edith''': [[spoiler:Is it alright that it should grow up Swiss?]]
--> '''Violet''': Switzerland has everything, except perhaps conversation. And one can live without that.
* Daisy the DeadpanSnarker when Ivy and Daisy discussing Ivy's plans for the evening.
--> '''Ivy:''' What do I wear?
--> '''Daisy:''' Clothes.
* After Violet comments on Branson's lack of conversational skill:
--> '''Robert:''' Not everyone can be Oscar Wilde.
--> '''Violet:''' Thank heavens for that.

* The militaristic soundtrack during Alfred's cooking class.
* Mary casually discussing how Thomas will love scoping out the hot ship's crew if Robert takes him to America.
* Carson's biting SarcasmMode throughout negotiating with Molseley to replace Alfred.

* Carson getting {{Squick}}ed out by Mrs Patmore talking about how hot Rudolph Valentino is.

* The final shot of series 4 (minus the Christmas special): Violet, Rosamund, and Isobel all surreptitiously leaning forward to watch Mary's suitors all driving off together.
** "What is the plural term for suitors?"

* Violet is outraged to hear Isobel describe her new life after [[spoiler:Matthew's death]], and tells her there's no need to eat off a tray!

* Slade constantly getting on Carson's nerves with his American service style.

* The Dowager's unimpressed reply to Rosamund's and Edith's flimsy excuse to want to travel Europe for several months to improve Rosamund's French skills.
--> '''Violet:''' Rosamund has no interest in French. If she wishes to be understood by a foreigner, she shouts.

-->''"What is a week-end?"''

--->'''Lady Grantham:''' Good heavens, what am I sitting on!?
--->'''Matthew Crawley:''' Er...swivel...chair.
--->'''Lady Grantham:''' Another modern brainwave?
--->'''Matthew Crawley:''' Hardly. They were invented by UsefulNotes/ThomasJefferson.
--->'''Lady Grantham:''' Why does every day involve a fight with an American?

-->'''Violet:''' You are quite wonderful the way you see room for improvement wherever you look. I never knew such reforming zeal.
-->'''Isobel:''' I take that as a compliment.
-->'''Violet:''' I must have said it wrong.

--> '''Carson:''' Well, I dare say a lot of the things ''you'' do sound stupid to other people! *hangs up*

--->'''Lady Grantham:''' Of course it would happen to a foreigner. It's typical. No Englishman would dream of dying in someone else's house - especially somebody they didn't even know.

* When Cora suggests Mary visit New York to cool off from the Pemuk scandal, Violet says she's not that desperate.

---> '''Daisy:''' I was gonna mix in some syrup of figs in but I've not done it yet.

-->'''Lady Grantham:''' It's not that I dislike him, I just don't like him.

--> '''Mrs Patmore:''' What in wonderland do you call that!? (Remembers who she is talking to)..I mean I do not fully understand what you are trying to do M'lady.

-->'''Carson:''' If I were a gentleman, I would not wish to know.\\

'''Carson:''' Fortunately. [closes door]

-->'''Tom:''' I'm here.
-->'''Lord Grantham:''' [[CaptainObvious So, I can see]].

* Sybil gasping at Mary when she walks out of the sitting room when they were talking about Pamuk's death.

--> [[spoiler:'''Sir Richard:''' (to Lady Grantham) I doubt we'll meet again.]]
--> '''Lady Grantham:''' Do you promise?
** In the same exchange discussing [[spoiler: the [[PricelessMingVase vase]] broken in the fight. Matthew apologizes for breaking it.]]

-->'''Lady Grantham:''' I'm so looking forward to seeing your mother again. When I'm with her, I'm reminded of the virtues of the English.
-->'''Matthew:''' But isn't she American?
-->'''Lady Grantham:''' Exactly.

-->'''Edith:''' I won't sleep a wink.

--> '''Violet:''' ''(looks away briefly, then double takes realising what Sybil has just said.)''
** It's ''EVERYTHING'' that Sybil does in this scene that sells it. She raises an eyebrow, smiles to herself when she hears "I won't sleep a wink", looks ''straight at the camera'', says her line then drinks her tea while looking away. IT'S HILARIOUS.
** Although this is a little sad in hindsight, when one realizes that [[spoiler: Edith is once again the least fortunate sister]] even in this regard. Consider that Sybil's marriage to Tom, a handsome and fiery rebel is clearly passionate, considering how quickly she got pregnant, Mary has married the dashing and romantic Matthew and the first two episodes of season 3 made it clear that their relationship certainly does not lack passion. This impending marriage, on the other hand, does not seem likely to yield much in that department.
*** Becomes HarsherInHindsight after [[spoiler: Edith is jilted at the altar]]

--> '''Mrs Hughes:''' ''(scathingly)'' Oh, I think he does. Every bit of that and ''worse.''

* This exchange (about Thomas after he was outed)

-->'''Violet:''' Certainly not! Oh, do you think I might have a drink? *turns and sees it's Robert* Oh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were a waiter.

* The following sentence comes out of Violet Crawley's mouth: "You've been reading those communist newspapers again."
* Edith knows what ''The Scarlet Letter'' is. This isn't shocking - she's young and yearning for love. But the fact that Isobel (as she doesn't query the meaning like Violet does) and ''Mrs Hughes'' have read it is rather funny.
* The RunningGag of Violet constantly, basically as a reflex, calling Tom "Branson" instead of by his first name. Branson is how one would properly address a chauffeur but as Tom is family now it is proper to call him by his first name. When Violet suggest Tom be made the estates agent she points out the added benefit being she can now go back to calling him Branson.

* How utterly obsessed with the cricket match Robert becomes. Thomas is allowed to keep his job mostly because he's good at the game and he is only willing to get on board with Matthew and Tom's plan to save Downton if Tom plays for the house team. He is making major decisions with long lasting repercussions purely based on fielding a team.

* Violet's [[DeadpanSnarker deadpan]] response to Robert's less-than-stellar plan to keep Mary uninvolved with the management of the estate of which she just inherited half.

* How easy it was that Violet could see through Edith and Rosamund's plan to [[spoiler:have Edith give birth in Switzerland]].

-->'''Edith''': [[spoiler:Is it alright that it should grow up Swiss?]]
-->'''Violet''': Switzerland has everything, except perhaps conversation. And one can live without that.

* Violet and Edith's desperate attempt to get the dinner party conversation back on track after Robert storms out from Bunting pushing his buttons one too many times.

--->'''Matthew Crawley:''' Er..swivel..chair.

* "In situations such as this one can normally find an Italian who isn't too picky."
** Let's not forget this gem, after Pamuk's death:
--->'''Lady Grantham:''' Of course it would happen to a foreigner. It's typical. No Englishman would dream of dying in someone else's house - especially somebody they didn't even know.
** And when discussing the scandal with Cora:
---> '''Lady Grantham:''' We can't have him assassinated. . .I suppose.
* The Crawley's totally over the top reactions to Sybil wearing pantaloons. Downton's known for it's long reaction shots, but this scene really lingers on everyone: Cora seems on the verge of fainting, Violet is decidedly ''not'' impressed, Matthew is clearly enjoying the fun while poor Robert is just confused. Then of course you've got Branson grinning at the window, hinting he was in on Sybil's plan.
** Mary's reaction is one of shock - but less "she's wearing ''pantaloons''" shock and more a "you crazy idiot, you ''actually did it!''" shock.

* The darkly comic MoodWhiplash caused by Pamuk's death. From a passionate love scene to "He's dead. I think he's dead".
** The reaction of Cora being woken up in the middle of the night to be told that she has to help Mary and Anna move a body halfway across the house. It's BlackComedy but the whole scene is awkwardly hilarious.
* About Cora's pregnancy:
--> '''Robert''': How could this happen?
--> '''Cora''': The doctor will tell you the details by a glass of whiskey.
** In the very next scene he appears in, he and the doctor ''are'' drinking whiskey!
* The Dowager Countess' mini-rivalry with Mrs. Crawley is almost too much fun to watch. Their constant one-upping of each other often provides much-needed comic relief in an otherwise very dramatic series.

* After Mrs. Crawley accuses the Dowager of telling Mary to refuse Matthew until Cora's baby is born.
--> Dowager Countess: Your quarrel is with my daughter Rosamund. I told her to accept him, so put that in your pipe and smoke it.
** Made even better by the quick shot of Carson's rather pleased reaction.
* Mr. Carson's reveal of his ''shameful'' past as a [[FelonyMisdemeanor stage performer, which to him seems to be on the same level as murdering someone.]]

--> Well, I dare say a lot of the things ''you'' do sound stupid to other people! *hangs up*
* When Cora suggests Mary visit New York to cool off from the Pemuk scandal, Violet says she's not that desperate.
* Mrs. Patmore unsuccessfully trying to inform Daisy that Thomas [[StraightGay isn't interested in her.]] Daisy doesn't seem to understand what "He's not a [[TheCasanova ladies' man]]" and "[[TroubledButCute he's a troubled soul]]" are supposed to mean.

--> "Well ''you've'' been busy."

* Mrs Patmore's cataracts cause her to accidentally put salt in the dessert. Despite the family being mortified at dinner, Mary immediately starts snorting into her napkin with laughter.

* Right after [[spoiler: Matthew and Sir Richard have a fight, following Mary ending the engagement, and deciding to leave Downton Abbey first thing in the morning]]:
--> [[spoiler:'''Sir Richard:''' (to Lady Grantham) I doubt we'll meet again.]]
--> '''Lady Grantham:''' Do you promise?
** In the same exchange discussing [[spoiler: the [[PricelessMingVase vase]] broken in the fight. Matthew apologizes for breaking it.]]
--> '''Matthew:''' Sorry about the vase.
--> '''Lady Grantham:''' Oh, don't be, don't be - it was a wedding present from a frightful aunt. I have ''hated'' it for half a century.

* Mrs Patmore and Daisy are at Sybil's request teaching her how to cook so she might be better prepared for her upcoming nursing/caretaker training. When Mrs. Patmore sees her first attempt she responds as she normally would as if she was talking to another servant.
--> '''Mrs. Patmore''' What in wonderland do you call that!? (Remembers who she is talking to)..I mean I do not fully understand what you are trying to do M'lady.
* When Mrs. Hughes reveals that a person standing in the airing cupboard can listen to a conversation in the kitchen through a vent, so she knows why Bates suddenly left with his wife, Vera.

'''Mrs. Hughes:''' But you're not.\\

* Carson, Anna and Mrs. Hughes stopping Tom's plot to throw slop on Gen. Strutt. They thought he was going to ''kill'' him!
* Presumably, this was unintentional but it gets a few childish sniggers.
--> '''Robert''': Still in one piece, thank God.
--> '''Matthew''': Touch wood.
--> '''Robert''': I never stopped touching it.

-->'''Tom''': I'm here.
-->'''Lord Grantham''': [[CaptainObvious So, I can see]].

* While it happens in the middle of a [[TearJerker very serious]] scene, it's hilarious that Robert was commended for being smart enough to use modern methods to handle the finances at Downton, thus saving it from future financial ruin, after he spent several episodes fighting tooth and nail whenever Matthew tried to implement said methods.

* The clash between The Dowager Countess and Cora's mother, Martha Levinson. Played to absolute perfection by Dame Creator/MaggieSmith and Shirley [=MacLane=]. A proper, aristocratic British Matriarch + An eccentric rich American matriarch = fun for everyone!

-->'''Violet:''' Certainly not! Oh, do you think I might have a drink? (turns and sees it's Robert) Oh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were a waiter.

-->'''Robert''': If I'd screamed blue murder every time someone tried to kiss me at Eton, I'd have gone hoarse in a month.

* Molseley dancing like a maniac after being hit by the liquor meant for O'Brien.

-->'''Cora''': Are you afraid you will be converted while your back is turned?
* How utterly obsessed with the cricket match Robert becomes. Thomas is allowed to keep his job mostly because he's good at the game and he is only willing to get on board with Matthew and Tom's plan to save Downton if Tom plays for the house team. He is making major decisions with long lasting repercussions purely based on fielding a team.
* The following sentence comes out of Violet Crawley's mouth: "You've been reading those communist newspapers again".

* Mr. Carson ''singing'' upon learning that Mrs. Hughes doesn't have cancer.
[[/folder]]

* Carson getting {{Squick}}ed out by Mrs. Patmore talking about how hot Rudolph Valentino is.

* The Dowager Countess and Mrs. Crawley discussing Lord Merton courting the latter:
--> '''Violet''': He just wants what all men want.
--> '''Isobel''': (''scandalized'') Oh, don't be ridiculous!
--> '''Violet''': I was referring to companionship... As I hope ''you'' were.
* Mary goes into London to get a new haircut from a famous french stylist... who quickly drops his accent and comments that at least Mary looks good with it as most women look like shaved monkeys with that style.

* Carson having to cook dinner after Mrs. Hughes feigns an injury to teach him a lesson.

* The discovery by Edith of who the mysterious "Cassandra Jones" is... [[spoiler:Mr. Spratt]].

* Mrs. Patmore figuring out something's up with Mrs. Hughes and promptly going to try to talk some sense into her.
--> '''Mrs. Hughes:''' Shall we go down?
--> '''Mrs. Patmore:''' Before we do, I wish you'd tell me what's wrong.
--> '''Mrs. Hughes:''' Whatever makes you say that?
--> '''Mrs. Patmore:''' ''(makes a facial expression that can best be described as "Really?!")''
--> '''Mrs. Hughes:''' You'll say I'm being stupid.
--> '''Mrs. Patmore:''' ''(bluntly)'' Well, maybe you are!
** Mrs. Hughes then proceeds to explain that she feels self-conscious about [[spoiler:Mr. Carson seeing her naked, as she feels old and unattractive]]. Mrs. Patmore tries to reassure her, and suggests she keep the lights off. The reply? "That is ''not helpful'', Mrs. Patmore!" It only gets better from there, with Mrs. Patmore pointing out [[spoiler:Mr. Carson might feel the same way, as "nobody's clapped eyes on him without his togs on in years - except maybe his doctor!"]], and ends with Mrs. Hughes convincing Mrs. Patmore to talk to [[spoiler:Mr.Carson]] about the situation. Mrs. Patmore's body language just ''screams'' "Why me?!"

* Everyone trying mightily, and mostly failing, to stop themselves from bursting out laughing when they hear about the incident in Mrs. Patmore's bed & breakfast. Mr Carson mentions that he doesn't want the story spread upstairs. ''Immediately'' after this, we have a SmashCut to Anna and Mary, utterly ''dying'' of laughter in Mary's bedroom. Anna mentions that she "couldn't resist telling [her]" and that it's "awful for [Mrs Patmore]" and then she and Mary ''begin cracking up again.''

-->"And he's never wanted to marry?"

** Mr Carson's and Mrs Hughes's reactions are rather funny too. Carson is horrified that Anna is, as noted, ''having a baby in Lady Mary's bedroom!'' Mrs Hughes drily notes that Anne doesn't have a choice!

* Mrs. Patmore's fury with Daisy (who refuses to put those "bally books" away and has been shirking her duties). When Daisy says she's been studying the "glorious revolution of 1688", Mrs. Patmore snarls "There'll be a ''glorious revolution'' down here if you don't watch it!"

** Before that Thomas' [[DeadpanSnarker reply]] to Jimmy trying to downplay Lady Anstruther's amorous intentions.

* And, of course, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2bfYw1B_Ww nearly falling over in the swivel-chair]]:
-->'''Lady Grantham:''' Good heavens, what am I sitting on!?
-->'''Matthew Crawley:''' Er..swivel..chair.
-->'''Lady Grantham:''' Another modern brainwave?
-->'''Matthew Crawley:''' Hardly. They were invented by UsefulNotes/ThomasJefferson.
-->'''Lady Grantham:''' Why does every day involve a fight with an American?

-->'''Lady Grantham:''' Of course it would happen to a foreigner. It's typical. No Englishman would dream of dying in someone else's house - especially somebody they didn't even know.
** And when discussing the scandal with Cora
--> '''Lady Grantham:''' We can't have him assassinated. . .I suppose.
* Daisy (the lowest ranking servant) actually believing she'll meet the Duke of Crowborough back in the first episode.

* There's a crisis at Downton, and Robert is frantically running from room to room to alert people. Imagine his surprise when he stumbles upon [[spoiler:Jimmy and Mrs. Anstruther getting... ah... [[CoitusInterruptus frisky]]]]! He goes from screaming [[spoiler:"Fire! Fire!"]] to deadpanning [[spoiler:"There's a fire."]]

** It's ''EVERYTHING'' that Sybil does in this scene that sells it. She raises an eyebrow, smiles to herself when she hears "I won't sleep a wink", looks ''straight at camera'', says her line then drinks her tea while looking away. ITS HILARIOUS.

* Edith and Violet discuss [[spoiler:giving up Edith's unwanted baby]] in Switzerland.

* Edith knows what the Scarlet Letter is. This isn't shocking - she's young and yearning for love. But the fact that Isobel (as she doesn't query the meaning like Violet does) and ''Mrs Hughes'' have read it is rather funny.

* Jimmy slags off Sir Anthony by calling him a "broken down old crock." Carson of course reprimands him saying he may have betrayed a daughter of this house, but he doesn't deserve to be spoken of that way by a ''footman.''

--> '''Mrs Hughes:''' Do you think he's the first of. . .that type I've met?

* Mary confronts Edith after hearing her talk at dinner; by the time the conversation is done, Edith has basically revealed that she's conspiring to put Tom and Lucy together so that, when Lucy inherits the Brampton Estate, Tom will have an establishment of his own. Mary's response? "Oh, you devious cat!" Mary may have inherited the stateliness and pride and sternness from the Dowager... but Edith got the sneakiness.

* The clash between The Dowager Countess and Cora's mother, Martha Levinson. Played to absolute perfection by Dame Maggie Smith and Shirley [=MacLane=]. A proper, aristocratic British Matriarch + An eccentric rich American matriarch = fun for everyone!

* Robert cementing himself as [[WhatAnIdiot not the brightest man]] by suggesting he invest the family's finances with [[{{Ponzi}} an American chap named Ponzi]].

*** Becomes a FunnyAneurysmMoment after [[spoiler: Edith is jilted at the altar]]

--> '''Mrs Hughes:''' ''(scathingly)'' Oh, I think he does. Every bit of that and worse.

--> '''Daisy:'''' Clothes.