History Funny / CriticalRoleCampaignThree

* [[Funny/CriticalRoleElementsOfChaos Elements of Chaos]][[note]]Episode 64 - 80[[/note]]

'''Campaign 3 (Bell's Hells)''': [[Funny/CriticalRoleShadesOfBlack 1-22]] | [[Funny/CriticalRoleTheSandsAndTheBoughs 23-38]] | [[Funny/CriticalRoleApproachingApogee 39-51]] | [[Funny/CriticalRoleScattered 52-64]] | [[Funny/CriticalRoleElementsOfChaos 65-]]\\

* [[Funny/CriticalRoleElementsOfChaos Elements of Chaos]][[note]]Episode 64 onwards[[/note]]

* [[Funny/CriticalRoleShadesOfBlack Shades of Black]]
* [[Funny/CriticalRoleTheSandsAndTheBoughs The Sands and the Boughs]]
* [[Funny/CriticalRoleApproachingApogee Approaching Apogee]]
* [[Funny/CriticalRoleScattered Scattered]]
* [[Funny/CriticalRoleElementsOfChaos Elements of Chaos]]

'''Campaign 3 (Bell's Hells)'''\\

[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder:Episode 1: The Draw of Destiny]]
* [[RunningGag As usual]], the plug for Hitpoint Press by Sam is amazing, but it's clear that an extended break has had him hold in a few too many plugs. His plug doesn't take the usual form of his comical shenanigans, but instead takes the form of a one-scene musical number asking to be sponsored by anyone who wants an advertisement. Crosses over with awesome.
** The musical number is a duet between Sam and Creator/MaryElizabethMcGlynn. Despite Mary Elizabeth playing the beleaguered spouse, the portrait on workaholic Sam's desk is of [[HeterosexualLifePartner Liam]].
* From a meta standpoint, the fact Sam made his character a WideEyedIdealist WarriorTherapist, giving him the perfect excuse to ask the rest of the party about their backstories from day one.
** When Ashton first asks where Fresh Cut Grass is Matt shoots a look at Sam and says "You motherfucker." Throughout the character's introduction Travis and Liam can be heard laughing offscreen.
** Sam finally has a character who can't have a kid that gets killed, and the party knows his "mother's" name this time -- Dancer.
** Additionally, the party asked F.C.G. for their backstory the first chance they got -- possibly to forestall the shocking reveals similar to what happened with Scanlan and Nott.
* Laudna's outfit is accessorized by a dead rat hanging from her belt with a bird skull. She says she made it herself and Matt quips with, "Gross".
** [[CreepyGood Laudna is rather creepy, but also loves children]]. This combination ends poorly when she spies some dwarven kids watching her and decides to play hide and seek -- she ends up scaring them off, in addition to accidentally freaking out an old woman who overheard her saying "I will find more children".
* F.C.G. cheerfully telling someone "[[InnocentSwearing Fuck off]]!" But since it comes off so innocently it's hard to take seriously.
* F.C.G. sincerely telling Ashton that he thinks he has a heart of gold deep down: wholesome. Continuing the metaphor by saying that it might be buried so deep that F.C.G. wants to take a pickax and hack his way down to find it: hilariously grotesque. The fact that Ashton is an [[ElementalEmbodiment Earth Genasi]] and it might actually be physically possible to "mine" for his heart: hilariously creepy.
* As Ashton and F.C.G. go to a bar for a morning beer, F.C.G. informs his bartender Ishir that he can't drink, so Ashton suggests Ishir just offer up whatever scrap metal he has. Initially, Ishir thinks they're joking and Ashton responds with, "[[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer Dead serious]]". Ishir changes the silver coins into copper and slides them to F.C.G. who admits to a dilemma: "I wanna eat those, but Ashton really likes money."
-->'''Ashton:''' Copper's not really money.\\
'''F.C.G.:''' Really?\\
'''Ashton:''' Copper's more of an insult, you can totally eat that.
** After F.C.G. takes a bite and starts crunching, Ashton winces and [[InstantlyProvenWrong immediately admits]] [[HypocriticalHumor that it does hurt a bit]]. Ishir is just enthralled as he watches F.C.G. eat, suggesting him to come around the bar and have people pay to watch him eat.
** Ishir then flicks F.C.G.'s head and stares on in fascination.
--->'''Marisha:''' Rude.\\
'''Taliesin:''' True, but I'm drinking right now, so...
** The innocent excitement of F.C.G. as he wonders if others will greet him if he becomes a regular, with Ashton quipping he may even be able to get into his first bar fight.
* Fearne, Dorian and Orym stare at the machinery and gondolas in awe, wondering how they operate. When they get to the gondola, Dorian sounds concerned about the safety of it while Fearne assures him it must be safe.
-->'''Fearne:''' It's held up by a thin string.
** Orym does his best to calm Dorian's anxiety, though what would otherwise be an assuring pat on the shoulder becomes "a soft fist on the hip" because of his stature. You can spot the exact moment [[HehHehYouSaidX Laura]] realizes what Liam just said and cracks up.
* Fearne's kleptomania strikes on a gondola ride with a follower of the All-Hammer, with hilarious results.
-->'''Dorian:''' I told you a story about someone picking my pocket 30 seconds ago and then you go and pick someone's pocket?\\
'''Fearne:''' Don't get on my ass about it! [[CloudCuckoolander All I know is that it's pretty easy to do here. That's all I took from what you said.]] It's beautiful. It's for the God of Arts and Crafts.
** Even funnier, Matt describes the object as about two-feet long as the wearer was a humanoid elephant. So when Dorian hisses at Fearne to hide the earring, she puts it on her ear and her head is tilted slightly to the left a bit.
* Later on, Orym's statement that Fearne's thefts will come back to bite her is proven true [[LaserGuidedKarma sooner than he expected]] when, after the battle, Taliesin's character Ashton tries to pickpocket ''her'' while offering her a glimpse of his opal brain. He succeeds. Fearne may have met her match.
** Funnily enough when Orym pulls Dorian to the side so they can discuss their strategy of how to keep Fearne's sticky fingers from causing more trouble, Fearne notes [[ImStandingRightHere that they're talking right in front of her]]. After they finish talking Orym notes, "We're done talking in front of you."
* The various parties get into battle with a variety of normally inanimate objects, which leads to this gem:
-->'''Marisha/Laudna:''' I'm slower than '''a rug?!'''
** One of them even gets decked in the face by a broom.
* During the battle with the various objects, Marisha says "fuck that knife!" [[LiteralMinded Everyone then counters that fucking a knife is a bad idea]]. Moments later, Laudna announces she is going to "fuck that rug", to a similar reaction.
-->'''Sam:''' "Critical Role endorses knife-fucking!"\\
'''Matt:''' ''No''!
** Later as Laudna tries to curse the knife, it fails.
--->'''Laudna:''' I can't even curse a knife?!\\
'''Imogen:''' [stroking her "creepy head"] It's all right.
* During the battle with the animated objects, Travis' character makes an entrance worthy of Literature/DonQuixote.
-->'''Sir Bertrand Bell:''' [[IncomingHam Yes... For the good of Jrusar, I will enter the fray with you!]]
* As Laudna goes into her SuperMode and creeps out a majority of the characters nearby, Bertrand also remarks out how nervous her appearance makes him.
-->'''Bertrand:''' I'm immediately concerned... about this creepy-ass bitch... forty feet away... dripping with ''goo''...
** Doesn't help when she creepily declares she's here to help, whatever bystanders are left immediately scream and run for it.
** Then she uses her powers to stare into the rug's eyes as she turns it into crimson sludge. Or at least where she perceives its eyes to be.
--->'''Laudna:''' I want you to know it was me.
* F.C.G. tossing out a holy tomato at the knife, calling it a "free spiritual tomato".
** Sam's logic for the tomato is that it's something a kitchen knife would hate, because cutting a tomato is just ''really hard''. The entire cast immediately sympathizes with the knife and agrees that cutting a tomato is really hard.
* Laudna saves Dorian and the two thank each other, before Matt points out that they're both forty feet away so they'd have to be yelling at one another.
** After the fight Laudna still has black goo on her hands. She quickly turns to Dorian and wipes her hands on his clothes. The disgust on Robbie's face truly is priceless.
* The reveal of Sam's comically-oversized drink container of choice for this campaign: a steampunk-themed gas canister fitted with a chalkboard and the message "[[ToiletHumour I HAVE GAS]]" on it.
** The big selling point being Matt's [[StunnedSilence drawn out stare of utter disbelief]] as he tries to [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe come to terms with what Sam has done]].
** Taliesin is not to be outdone. When Sam attaches the chalkboard to the canister, he takes one look at it.
--->'''Taliesin:''' [[DeadpanSnarker We knew that already.]]
* When Bertrand asks the group if any of them have outstanding warrants or are being pursued by anyone, Fearne quickly jumps in with a SuspiciouslySpecificDenial.
-->'''Fearne''': Definitely... not... ''here''.
* F.C.G.'s creator named all of her automatons after her favourite smells.
-->'''F.C.G.:''' There was me, there was Oatmeal, and there was Apple Pie, there was [[BreadEggsMilkSquick Pussy]], there were a lot of us!
** Marisha and Matt FacePalm, and soon after everyone starts {{corpsing}}.
--->'''Fearne:''' It was just thrown out there so fast...
** As Sam said that they were named after favorite smells, Matt eyes SnapToTheSide in a beautiful OhCrap moment.
** Sam sits there smugly looking around while the entire table collapses, halfway between in-character naivete and out-of-character pride that no-one escaped the joke.
--->'''Ashton/Taliesin:''' So nice to see other people having to hear this, it's really just bringing everything into sharp perspective.
** Robbie cracked up so badly he squeaked out a desperate "Send help." Travis, seated next to him, heard it clearly and asked him if he really said it. That sent the table into a second round of laughter.
** This moment was played ''in theaters.'' Just let that sink in.
* This episode's ad break features the one and only President Gale, persuading people to subscribe to the Twitch channel with Operation: Gag Me with a Spoon. She then follows it up with a Q&A that ends with one of the "reporters" getting kicked out, with ''bees''.
* Dorian tries to play at the bar, and rolls the first Natural 1 of the campaign. [[ButtMonkey He snaps a string of his lute and becomes an unintentional comedy act.]] Then Fearne comes in and [[BadBadActing badly]] [[NotHelpingYourCase pretends to be a fan of his]], and he tries again with his flute for a 13, leading to a SoOkayItsAverage performance. He ultimately makes ''one gold'', from a fellow musician who felt sorry for him.
** Earlier after his string breaks, he gets flustered as he tries to collect his items. Robbie describes it as Dorian's items falling out of his arms right after he picks them up and has to scurry to recover them. The table gives out sympathetic looks.
** The roasting he gets from the patrons is fantastic.
--->'''Random Guy:''' (''obviously tipsy, cackling'') The great Dorian Storm, feared by all twangy things!
** When he pulls his flute out and starts playing, Robbie immediately makes the disclaimer he's not doing some other activity as he plays.
* Thanks to some very bad rolls, Ashton loses a lot of gold at cards even when Fearne and F.C.G are cheating for him.
** Doubly ironic, given that Ashton is played by ''[[BornLucky Taliesin Jaffe]]''.
* Orym goes to Bertrand's room to ask him some questions, and finds out the old man is asleep. Once Bertrand wakes up and goes to the door this conversation ensues.
-->'''Orym:''' Oh, I'm sorry, it's seven thirty, were you asleep?\\
'''Bertrand:''' .... seven thirty in the morning?\\
'''Orym:''' No, it's still -- it's barely... We just saw each other thirty minutes ago downstairs.\\
'''Bertrand:''' Yes... Who are you?
** As Travis plays Bertrand as a forgetful senior, the others immediately hop onto the "future Travis" jokes.
---> '''Taliesin:''' It's his final form.\\
'''Matt:''' It's like a snapshot of the future.
** Before Orym leaves he compliments Bertrand's sword work in their last fight, and then finds out Bertrand has started to fall asleep during their conversation. After leading Bertrand to his bed he calls Orym "Oryn" to which Orym just nods and allows him to go to sleep.
** Keep in mind that Bertrand, who Travis plays like he's starting to go senile, is the ''most intelligent party member''.
* The {{Cliffhanger}} being the group may have to possibly fight a senior, some notably say how excited they are for that.
* The [[JustForPun sheer]] [[HurricaneOfPuns number]] of possible puns embodied in the F.C.G.-and-Ashton duo.
** Ashton the Earth genasi is a PunkRock.
** Ashton is made of earth and stone; F.C.G. is made of metal. Together, they are HeavyMetal.
** F.C.G. moves using one wheel: they are RockAndRoll.
** F.C.G. is an automaton cleric, making them a literal healbot. [[note]]A self-deprecating term used by healing classes in reference to them being able to do nothing but heal their party members.[[/note]] Twitch chat immediately dubbed him "Heals on Wheels".
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 2: Trial by Firelight]]
* For this year's Halloween, the cast are dressed as ''each other''. (Matt as Laura, Travis as Sam, Robbie as Matt, Marisha as Taliesin, Sam as Marisha, Ashley as Travis, Laura as Robbie, Liam as Ashley and Taliesin as Liam) Naturally, this makes things incredibly confusing, with the pre-show announcements alone descending into chaos.
** Travis-as-Sam even includes a "shirt-ception". Not one of Sam's, but a new one of Travis-as-Sam.
** Special mention should also go to Ashley-as-Travis, whose costume consisted of a muscle suit that made the rest of her look tiny, a Strongjaw Ale t-shirt and a fake beard she had to keep holding up to her chin because it wouldn't sit still.
** The players are all eagerly anticipating what Fearne's voice sounds like coming out of a Travis cosplay. They are not disappointed when it happens.
** Robbie is Matt, which he demonstrates by drinking a bottle of water and doing sound effects for it.
* Sam's sponsor ad for the week is for the tabletop game based on ''WesternAnimation/{{Gargoyles}}'' with some help from his side of the table. Marisha and Travis leap into playing ridiculous "Noo Yawk" accents while Robbie, as a guest, is completely lost as to what's going on.
** Sam has them all say their favorite thing about being a gargoyle. Robbie's answer is ripping the wings off a pigeon which leads to him being dubbed a "pigeon hater".
** Special mention has to go to Marisha referring to ''Gargoyles'' as a "Diz-uh-nee" cartoon.
** When the announcements are over:
--->'''Marisha:''' Badabing!\\
'''Matt:''' Bada-- oh, ''god'', no.
* Sam's gas can has a candy box attached to it, seeing as it's Halloween. On the box there are two signs which say "CANDY! Limit one per person" and "TRAVIS, I'M TALKING TO YOU!" A mock-incensed Travis refuses to take any candy. Ashley, dressed as Travis, takes ''two''.
* In the fight that starts the episode, Bertrand promptly heads over to the fireplace and pours himself a shot of brandy, shouting encouragement. The one time he tries to get involved, it's by throwing his glass of alcohol at Eschteross to try and spread the flames from Fearne's Burning Hands. Instead, he rolls a nat 1. The glass misses and hits Fearne in the back of the head, covering her hair in booze. She is unamused.
-->'''Fearne:''' Did you just ... throw your bottle at the back of my head?\\
'''Bertrand:''' (''beat and looks around behind himself'') Who?!
** As the group leaves, Ashton pats Fearne on the back in order to lick the brandy from his fingers afterward. Fearne offers to let him suck it from her hair, to gagging reactions from Sam and Liam.
--->'''Ashton:''' I don't know how to handle the dare. Fuck!
** Later in a tavern, Fearne gets payback by way of Imogen casually using Mage Hand to pour whiskey onto Bertrand's clothes. As a crestfallen Bertrand muses on the luxurious fabric that was just ruined, Ashton helpfully suggests that soaking the velvet in alcohol should only add value. Laudna then uses Prestidigitation to squeeze it out into Ashton's glass.
--->'''Ashton''': Wasn't mine, but I'll take it!
** When the fight ends, Ashton chucks one of his knives... at ''Bertrand.'' Which hits.
--->'''Ashton:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Hey, look. You participated.]]
* Laura describing Imogen's attack as a rush of white-hot fury "after seeing what he did to Laudna" is pure heartwarming...except that ''Dorian and Orym just almost died mere feet away from her'' in ''far'' more brutal fashion.
** Dorian having to log roll across the floor to get to Orym and try to heal him.
* Bertrand is disappointed that the others are aware of Vox Machina but have never heard of him. He claims to have been with the party during their "heyday".
-->'''Bertrand:''' Rescuing...uh...[[AccidentalMisnaming Frog]] -- Grog! Strong...Strongbone! Large fellow, beard! I think he's in Whitestone now, actually.\\
'''Orym:''' Some of that's familiar.\\
'''Fearne:''' I thought I remember it Stonejaw[[note]]a CallBack both to the Narrative Telephone episode "Grog's Vlog," where Ashley infamously mangled Grog's surname, and to Travis giving Grog's father the same unfortunate first name[[/note]] or something like that.\\
'''Travis (mouthing):''' I'm going to ''fucking... (making choking motions)''\\
'''Ashley:''' [[BringIt Try it!]]
** There's just something so funny about hearing Taliesin call the De Rolo's the De Lolo's. Especially when Bertrand brings up Vox Machina's name.
--->'''Ashton:''' Weird band name.
* As they arrive back at Lord Eshteross to bargain for their contracts, Bertrand says the others could speak for themselves.
-->'''Fearne:''' We've come to kill you.\\
'''Bertrand:''' No! No, no, that's not--!
** Matt then describes them reaching for something at their side, hidden from view.
* Those with high enough passive perception quickly notice Eshteross's entire room is filled with hidden weapons. Ashton is ''delighted.''
-->'''Orym:''' ''(nudges Ashton)'' That umbrella has a knife in it.\\
'''Ashton:''' Fuuuck, that's cool! I want one!\\
'''F.C.G.:''' ''(nudges Laudna)'' That knife is actually nunchucks.\\
'''Ashton:''' ''Fuck!'' I want it even more!
* Fearne sees a shiny object she wants hidden among the books of Lord Eshteross. It's a stiletto knife, and Fearne attempts to steal it. What results is [[EpicFail a comedy of errors]]. She tries a Sleight of Hand check to take the knife and gets a 4, knocking over the books. She tries a Deception check to convince Eshteross she wasn't stealing it and gets a 5, so he sees right through her. She then tries to convince him to let her "borrow" the knife with a Persuasion check, and gets a nat 1. An incensed Eshteross just angrily tells Fearne to put it back on the shelf and leave at once, telling her that if she really wants one, she can buy one with the advance he just have them.
* Dorian and Laudna's attempts at a joint perception check while huddled under his cloak on a rooftop are an extended comedy of errors. Marisha sums it up very well:
-->'''Marisha:''' [as Laudna] WHAT DID YOU ROLL? I CAN'T SEE IT!
* F.C.G. asks about the rat-with-a-bird-skull that Laudna has hanging off her belt. She explains that Pâté de Rolo, as she named it, was something she made to keep herself company and distract from "the voice in my head". She then uses her magic to animate Pâté's limbs like a puppet. Robbie and Travis are visibly freaked out by the whole demonstration.
-->'''Travis:''' ''(quietly to Matt)'' The fuck happened when she was making this character?\\
'''Matt:''' A lot.
** Laudna explains, in-character as Pâté, that he was made to [[CompanionCube keep Laudna from going insane]] [[GoMadFromTheIsolation in her loneliness]].
--->'''Orym:''' Great job, Pâté, [[BlatantLies you did it.]]
** In between the conversations of Ashton giddily saying he never wants this to end, Imogen can be heard admitting that in the two years she's known Laudna, she's never gotten used to Pâté. Earlier when Laudna brought up Pâté, Imogen is quick to try and steer away from that conversation by saying that, "It doesn't matter".
--->'''Orym:''' How often did this happen?\\
'''Imogen:''' Too often.
** F.C.G. then wonders if Laudna's head piece could "talk" too. Laudna teasingly grins at him and tells him "You'll find out!", which excites F.C.G.
--->'''Liam:''' I'm Hammie!!
* This episode has the debut of Sam attempting to do ASMR for their Twitch subscription ad. Key word is ''attempt''. He then ruins the vibe when he gets a call from proctologist[[note]]A doctor that checks the anus and rectum[[/note]], referencing the infamous "teeth in butt" meme.
* As Laudna once again enters her SuperMode, Marisha describes all the sound of her limbs either stretching or cracking, and her face contorting and sinking into her skull. Travis meekly squeaks "No" in fear.
** The fact that throughout this episode it becomes increasingly clear that, by coincidence or design, Marisha has created a character that repeatedly terrifies Travis with very little effort on her part.
* F.C.G. tries not to boast that they were actually one of his master's more special creations compared to their siblings. They start explaining that their siblings had specialties: for example, Oatmeal's primary function was to cut firewood. Laura, who can see the joke coming a mile away, winces and whispers “No” over and over. Taliesin tries to head it off by claiming in character they don’t have time for this, but:
-->'''F.C.G.:''' If you're interested in Pussy, I can talk about it.\\
'''Taliesin:''' God damn it. ''(Table breaks out into laughter)''
* Laudna hitches a ride on Dorian so they can both take advantage of the latter's winged boots. The cast has a lot of fun talking about how this creepy [[NothingButSkinAndBones skin-and-bones girl]] is now being [[BridalCarry bridal carried]] by Dorian.
-->'''Robbie:''' I feel her dead rat press against my hip.\\
'''Matt:''' It's like carrying a scarecrow.\\
'''Taliesin:''' She's like 20 pounds when wet.
** Robbie then says he clicks his boots together like [[Film/TheWizardOfOz Dorothy]] as they rise up in the air.
* As Fearne and Bertrand are on watch together, their discussion shifts to family matters. When asked, Bertrand says he has no children he is aware of. After a moment's consideration, Fearne replies that she also has no children she's aware of. Only Robbie seems to notice how odd the reply is.[[labelnote:Note]]It is...rather difficult for a cis woman to not be aware of having had kids. [[/labelnote]]
* As the groups split up into two, one group calls themselves "Team Backdoor".[[labelnote:Note]]'''Robbie''': (''delighted, to a struggling Matt'') Say Team Backdoor say Team Backdoor say Team Backdoor! Say it! Say Team Backdoor![[/labelnote]] Cue laughter, with Matt hopping in when addressing the other team.
-->'''Matt:''' Team Missionary? What do I call you? [[labelnote:Note]]They decide on "Team Full-Frontal."[[/labelnote]]
* When Imogen is the target of a Message spell[[labelnote:Note]]It's actually a similar but separate ability to Sending, but for a bit they don't realize that[[/labelnote]], Laura starts to ramble her response, before stopping and trying to figure out a proper length for her reply because Imogen, unlike her previous character [[CloudCuckooLander Jester,]] would ''know'' of the 25-word-limit.
* First, Laudna Messages Orym, freaking him out with her creepy delivery. Then, Travis improvises, repeating her words in [[EvilSoundsDeep a demonically bassy voice]]. Soon, half the cast are echoing Laudna's message in [[VoiceOfTheLegion various unsettling whispers]].
-->'''Laudna:''' Is it fun? ''(Is it fun? Is it fuuun? Is it FUN?)''\\
'''Orym:''' Less and less so!
** Liam's startled reaction to Laudna's creepy message is priceless, especially when you imagine poor Orym all alone in the dark. Quite apropos for a Halloween episode!
** Then Fearne decides it would be a good idea to try and knock on the door to signal to Orym and whisper through the wall. Her words don't make it through, so all Orym hears is faint whispers. Cue him taking out his sword and shield as he looks around anxiously.
*** Fearne tries to talk through the crack beneath the door with Matt saying "There is no crack". Which prompts Sam to say this:
---->'''Sam:''' This back door has no crack.\\
'''Everyone:''' (''bursts out into laughter'')\\
'''Matt:''' (''after recovering'') [[ActuallyPrettyFunny Well done]]. Yeah, well done.
** When F.C.G. tries to get in contact with Orym by sending him feelings of "curiosity", Orym is nearly overtaken by utter confusion and can only twist and turn in the dark, not knowing or quite understanding what in the hell is going on.
* As Laudna messages Orym and he tells her the others are out in the front, Laudna laughs at [[LockedOutOfTheLoop how wrong his impression is]] of the entire situation. Keep in mind that what Orym reported was that ''his friends were still waiting for him out front:''
-->'''F.C.G.:''' What did he say?\\
'''Laudna:''' Oh, he's ''totally'' out of the loop, it's ''quite'' adorable.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 3: The Trail and the Toll]]
* Sam does another ad for Hitpoint Press, and he does a CallBack to how he [[RashomonStyle remembers the musical being received. He remembers a standing ovation.]] Marisha gives her version of events, [[RashomonStyle where she mocks him mercilessly and he calls her one of the funniest people alive.]] Robbie gives his version, [[RashomonStyle where he saves Sam from ninja assassins and has a serious]] HoYay [[RashomonStyle moment with an awestruck Travis.]] Travis promptly agrees that Robbie's version is how he remembers it as well.
* Ashton's [[SurroundedByIdiots attitude]] to how nobody else in the party has ever "crimed" before, while they try to break into a building.
-->'''Ashton''': Does anyone know how to make things quiet?\\
'''Laudna''': I can summon an image that makes no noise.\\
'''Dorian''': I can make a ''lot'' of noise.\\
'''Laudna''': ''(gasps)'' So can I!\\
'''Ashton''': ''[[DeadpanSnarker So can I!]]'' Holy shit!
* As the players are trying to remember where they left off at the end of the last episode, Sam reveals that he's written the names "Team Backdoor" and "Team Full Frontal" on the chalkboard attached to his novelty flask. He attempts to fill out one of the checkboxes by the names but the chalk screeches against the board, causing the entire table to [[HellIsThatNoise yelp in horror]].
* Team Backdoor takes the better part of ten minutes to have a long, in-character discussion trying to figure out what the original plan was, why they [[ItSeemedLikeAGoodIdeaAtTheTime thought it was a good idea]], whether the party was behind the robberies this entire time in a complicated StableTimeLoop situation, whether maybe Fearne should just [[KillItWithFire burn down the warehouse for no apparent reason]], what they're even trying to accomplish in the first place, and why they're all standing around an empty warehouse waiting to see if anything happens when all the workers have left and they could just be [[MundaneSolution searching the warehouse]] to find the evidence they were hired to produce.
* Laudna continues to send messages to Orym, cue the [[VoiceOfTheLegion echoing voices]] [[RunningGag that accompany her]]... along with a few flourishes. Even [[NotSoAboveItAll Matt was joining in]] this time.
-->'''Laudna:''' Should we try the front door?\\
'''Everyone:''' ''Door. The door. The door.''\\
'''Sam:''' ''Kill...''\\
'''Orym:''' .... Wait, what was that last one?\\
'''Laudna:''' What?
** Laudna offers to help Orym out by continuing to send him messages. Orym just meekly tells her to freak him out if anything goes down.
* Matt picking the perfect time to cut between the split parties.
-->'''Laudna:''' Imogen can handle herself, alright? Imogen's ''great''. She's got ''everything'' totally in control.\\
'''Matt:''' [[IronicEchoCut Speaking of which]]--\\
'''Imogen:''' ''Where the fuck am I?''
* Bertrand trying to be undercover at a bar. Emphasis on "trying".
** Bertrand, an elderly upper-class twit, entirely earnestly tells Imogen, an ''absolutely gorgeous'' young woman in her early-to-mid twenties to "try not to look like" she's hitting on him.
--->'''Laura/Imogen:''' You just... you just hear me sigh in your head.
** Imogen is slow to get it when Bertrand tells her not to call him by his name.
--->'''Imogen:''' I don't have a disguise, Bertrand...\\
'''Bertrand:''' ''Did you just use my name?!'' (whole table melts down and Liam fights back a SpitTake)\\
'''Imogen:''' ... Barry.\\
'''Bertrand:''' The same letter?!
* The first and greatest undefeated enemy of the legendary Vox Machina returns to haunt the next generation: The group, upon hearing a suspicious conversation in an inn room going downhill, [[RunningGag tries to get through the door]].
** Orym ''and'' Ashton team up to break the bedroom door down. It takes ''far'' more hits than you'd expect a simple inn door to take when being assaulted by a barbarian and a fighter.
** In the middle of this, as the door is being broken down, Fearne reaches over and knocks on it, [[BlatantLies claiming to be room service]].
** Matt even hangs a lampshade on the whole affair, saying "It's always the fucking doors, I swear to God."
* Sam pointing out that Laudna's happy reactions are the same as her sad ones.
* When rolling for initiative, both Laura and Taliesin rolled a 16. The usual course of action in such a case is to go for whoever has the higher Dex modifier, right? One problem: both Ashton and Imogen not only have the same modifier but the same Dex score. And so they rolled again...and both received Natural 1s.
-->'''Liam:''' That was the hottest game of Rollies ever!
** Made even funnier after Ashley observed and noted that if Laura's die hadn't shifted on the next roll to a different number at the last moment, she and Taliesin would have rolled the same number ''again''.
* In their panic, Dorian and Ashton briefly slip into caveman speech.
-->'''Dorian:''' Ashton, what's going on?!\\
'''Ashton:''' Thing! ''Kill!'' Argh!\\
'''Dorian:''' ''Me'' kill?! Alright!
* [[OurZombiesAreDifferent Laudna]] and [[LooksLikeCesare the Pale Dwarf]] locking eyes with one another during the fight, prompting Matt and Marisha to growl creepily at each other. Taliesin tells them both to, quote, "[[GetARoom get a coffin]]."
* F.C.G. shooting one of the Pale Dwarf's shade creepers with its grapple cannon and dragging it toward its death. How is that funny? Cue the [[Franchise/MortalKombat Scorpion]] comparisons.
-->'''F.C.G.:''' (''in a cheery southern drawl'') Get over here!
* Imogen's suggestion for [[SeeTheInvisible seeing if Danas has turned invisible]] by [[MundaneSolution wildly swinging their arms around]]. Laura can't even make it through the suggestion without {{Corpsing}}, and the in-universe patrons all just randomly turn away when they see it happening.
* A late-session combat has a sphere of magical darkness encompass an area, with none of the gang able to see inside it. Dorian charges into the darkness to try and rescue Orym and fight the enemies; Bertrand runs in swinging blindly and hits Dorian for 10 damage before sheepishly backing away.
-->'''Liam:''' [to Robbie] ''Take your attack of opportunity!''\\
'''Matt:''' ...I'll allow it.
** Robbie rolls a 4 on the attack of opportunity. So Matt [[ItAmusedMe gives him advantage just to make it work,]] allowing Dorian to give Bertrand a sharp backhand across the face.
--->'''Bertrand:''' ''[stumbling out of the darkness clutching his cheek; to the others, pointing]'' Dorian's over there...
** The way Matt describes the slap. He specifically compares it to an anime, with everyone going quiet and gasping at the hit. Including the enemies.
** Later in the round, Bertrand repeats pointing out where Dorian is, prompting a reply of ''"Stay away from me!"''
* Imogen and Dorian pulling off a ShowSomeLeg act so the innkeeper doesn't go into Danas's desecrated room. Just the awkward giggles and Dorian telling the innkeeper to let the other tenants know "There's room for a third" is glorious. The innkeeper himself is even slightly flustered at the comment as Dorian and Imogen wave him goodbye.
** Then later as Imogen apologizes for dragging Dorian in, he says he had fun and it reminded him of when he took theatre classes. Cut to Ashton's reaction at realizing Dorian is a theatre kid.
--> '''Ashton:''' ''Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck''.
* Betrand is somehow on the bannister rail of the inn, and Laudna decides to toss him over.
* As they walk, Dorian decides he'll trip Betrand. It succeeds, with Imogen slightly chiding Dorian in his head, but is clearly stifling her giggles.
* Lord Eshteross wishes to celebrate the founding of his new adventuring party in a unique way: he serves them ''cake''. Moreover, he made the cake himself. While being generally decent for an average carrot cake, Eshteross neglected to actually ''ice'' the cake, much to his embarrassment.
* Matt suddenly realizing that he forgot [[ForWantOfANail a very important bit]] of scene-setting narration.
--> '''Laudna:''' That was fun! I had fun.\\
'''Fearne:''' It was very good cake.\\
'''Imogen:''' It was great cake.\\
''[beat]''\\
'''Imogen:''' It was a little weird eatin' that whole dinner with [the brutally murdered body of] Danas just sittin' there on the table like that--\\
'''Matt:''' [wide-eyed] ''[[RapidFireNo No no no]]!''
* Sam at one point refers to Bertrand and Fearne as "[[Series/SesameStreet Bert and Fearnie]]." Predictably, the entire cast breaks down.
-->'''Robbie:''' (''to Sam'') No, what have you done?!\\
'''Liam:''' (''moments later'') The art's gonna be wild!
* The numerous suggestions for what to call their group, including "Bertrand Bell and His Sorcerous Swords," "Bertrand's Bells" and..."The Bellends."[[labelnote:Note]]For those who are unfamiliar with the word, "bellend" is a British slang term for the tip of a penis and is typically used as a mild insult.[[/labelnote]] All of these were suggested by Bertrand, by the way.
* Hilarity erupts when Taliesin describes Ashton throwing a sack of 150 gold coins directly into Milo's face (and Milo returns the favor shortly after). Laura jokes about Imogen doing the same to the elderly woman she and Laudna have been staying with; Travis calls it the "Gold Sack Murderers", with some of the cast wondering if they should start calling themselves that.
* Bertrand getting attacked in an alley and seemingly fatally stabbed is incredibly shocking and dramatic. But there's a bit of comedy in the fact that this attack happened [[ForWantOfANail because he stepped in to take a piss,]] with Travis noting that given Bertrand's age, [[PottyFailure there was no way he was going to try holding it until he got to an inn.]]
** Travis also finds a way to twist the knife one more time after Bertrand is wounded.
--->'''Travis:''' And as the vision fades, I just say, "''[[ImpliedLoveInterest Lieve'tel]]...''"\\
''[horrified laughter erupts]''\\
'''Laura:''' You fuckin' dick!\\
'''Matt:''' You ''asshole''.\\
'''Liam:''' ''[triumphantly]'' Says who?![[note]]Lieve'tel was ''his'' character from the one-shots featuring Bertrand, who bedded Sir Bell and is last seen running after him, confident that she can persuade him against retiring.[[/note]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 4: On the Trail of a Killer]]
* Laudna is clearly spooked out by Imogen's dream about Bertrand (possibly), and they head to his inn to find him, but the obstructive front staff can't just give out his room number even to his comrades, so Laudna starts knocking on all the doors and harassing all the tenants. First of all, it's an effective threat on its own but Laudna goes through with it regardless; secondly, the implications end up getting glossed over as the guys realise something.
-->'''Liam:''' ''(to Matt)'' 15 [=NPCs=]! Get them ready!
** Laudna loudly knocking on one door calling for Betrand and a guest steps out.
--> '''Laudna:''' (''beat'') You're not Betrand. (''shoves them aside'')
* After finding the other half of the group, Imogen tells them why she woke them up, which comes off as unintentionally hilarious. She says, "[[ThatCameOutWrong I had a dream about Betrand]]", followed by a long awkward pause from the others. Laudna quickly informs them that Imogen's dreams provide her a vision of events. What sells it is Sam clearly eye-brow wiggling at Laura who tells him he (F.C.G.) isn't there with Sam replying, "But Sam is".
* When the group finds Bertrand's dead body, Fearne almost immediately starts going through his pockets.
** Offscreen, Travis texts Ashley to inform her what Fearne would find in Bertrand's pockets, listing a number of items such as: peanuts, Werther's Originals, a TV Guide and... a thirty-year old condom. Marisha can barely keep in her laughter as she giggles throughout the conversation. As the rest of the cast take a peek at the list, they all burst out into giggles with Matt even mumbling, "Dammit, Travis". Travis even confirms it on [[https://twitter.com/WillingBlam/status/1459025612790644736?s=20 twitter]] what he sent over to Ashley.
*** Before they address what was in Bertrand's pockets in character, the cast has clearly seen the text and start laughing.
** And when the group tries to transport Bertrand's body by slinging his arms over their shoulders so he just looks drunk to bystanders, Matt calls it [[Film/WeekendAtBernies "Weekend at Bertrand's"]], which was then shortened to "Weekend at Bertie's".
* After the group is allowed to stay at Lord Eshteross' manor, he goes to "clear a room" of booby traps for them. Cue the group getting startled as a ton of swords suddenly slam into the floor above them, poking through the ceiling over their heads. The group panic and wonder if they're going to have to deal with a ''second'' body but Eshteross is revealed to be fine.
** Laudna offers to fix the damage, and starts to cast Mending on the ceiling, but forgets Mending is a touch-spell. The cast immediately asks how she got up there, the consensus being that she crawled up the wall like a spider.
* The next morning, in a surge of generosity, Ashton decides to buy breakfast sandwiches for the group before going to meet up with them. He chooses not to buy one for [[ButtMonkey Bertrand,]] reasoning that he can just buy his own, [[DramaticIrony completely unaware that Bertrand is dead anyway.]]
-->'''Ashton:''' ''[muttering to himself]'' I should've gotten him a sandwich. I should've gotten him a sandwich...
** When Ashton and F.C.G. meet up with them, Laudna just blurts out "Bertrand's dead." She sounds almost happy when she says it, throwing everyone totally off-guard.
** F.C.G. asks if it was old age. Imogen replies that it was "old stabbing".
-->'''Laudna:''' They haven't changed it in two thousand years!
** As the group is talking, Fearne apparently snatches Imogen's sandwich right from under her nose.
* Mister makes an official reappearance meeting Pâté...it doesn't go down well. Matt describes it as Mister holding fiery "seed" at the ready for Pâté.
** What make his reappearance so funny is Matt telling Robbie that Dorian's sandwich is gone:
--> '''Robbie:''' What happened to it? Did I eat it?
* After Mister steals Dorian's sandwich, both Laudna and Imogen offer him theirs to which he exasperatedly cries "Why does everybody think I need so much sandwich?!"
* [[ContinuityNod Dorian telling the group that he's seen Orym eat a whole lot before.]] [[NeverLiveitDown Orym mutters, "That happened one time."]]
** He then splits his sandwich with Mister and breaks his remaining meal into thirds to save for later. Liam jokes that due to Orym's size he's basically dealing with a foot-long sandwich.
--->'''Ashley:''' ''[laughing]'' That'll be enough food for the week.
* Orym even seems to lampshade everyone's varying reactions to Betrand's death.
--> '''Orym''' (''muttering''): This twenty-four hours has a lot of range.\\
'''Imogen''' (''quietly eating''): Yeah. Mhm.
* Matt telling Fearne that [[ItMakesSenseInContext "You can now say that]] [[ARareSentence you've tasted a clawed wall."]]
* After Orym drops a magical delver's coin down a hole and discovers it's ridiculously deep, Laura points out (and Matt confirms) that due to the way the magic works, anything at the bottom of it will know there's someone up there dropping things down the hole. Marisha immediately blurts out, [[Literature/TheLordOfTheRings "Fool of a Took!"]]
** Later on, the table discuss ringtone noises with Robbie quipping, "Yeah, it makes the same sound as the coin you threw away". Cue the entire table bursting into laughter.
* Ashton bribes a bartender to get the (supposed) name of the dwarf they're after, and after giving 20 gold, he gets it. Going outside, he excitedly tells the party that bribing worked, and talks about how cool it was, with Laudna even asking if he did the "cool push" of pushing the money over, which Ashton proudly says he did. When the group finally thinks to ask ''what'' the name he got is, Ashton actually has to take a minute to remember, that information having apparently taken a backseat to the moment itself.
* Dorian tries to get some information at a tavern and the male tiefling he's talking to becoming enamored with him under Charm Person. Dorian quickly tries to get as much information as he can as he sees he's running him dry.
-->'''Dorian:''' What if I said one word to you? Ready? Guess what it is, guess at what it is.\\
'''Man''': "Yes".\\
'''Dorian''' ''(dramatic pause)'': Brumestone.\\
'''Man:''' ...'kay, not what I was expectin'. What is it?
** Then as Dorian tries to sneak away without letting the man know, he accidentally waves back to him, prompting the Imogen to tell him to just get the hell out of there. The man starts to follow Dorian who tells him [[BlatantLies he'll be right back]].
--> '''Imogen''' ''(in Dorian's head)'': Nonono, just ghost, just ghost, Dorian, just ghost!
** Earlier when talking about the group Dugger's with stealing from the rich and redistributing to the poor, Dorian laughs and says, "Right! We hate the rich, don't we? Ugh! Horrible!" Becomes funnier when in Exandria Unlimited he was implied to be SecretlyWealthy.
* Even though they never met her, Imogen and Laudna throw a little shade at Keyleth, including the latter—who ''played Keyleth''—calling her a bitch, mocking meta complaints about her.
** Laura then mockingly says the woman in charge of Whitestone (Vex, who she played) is much cooler and not as much of a bitch.
--->'''Taliesin:''' This isn't even metagaming at this point. We're Inception-ing.
* When paying their last respects to Bertrand, a few people come across as InnocentlyInsensitive. Fearne hopes he learns to like jazz in the afterlife, while Ashton just says "thanks for the work" and nothing else.
** F.C.G.'s eulogy starts off as quite decent for Bertie's send-off, but then he ends it with: "You know, they say that the word 'goodbye' is the hardest word to say. But it's not; it's 'Worcestershire'," with Sam mispronouncing Worcestershire as he says it (he says it as 'worsh-ter-sure'). Then, at a later point in the episode, he is still having a little trouble trying to say it. And so is Ashley.[[labelnote:Note]]For those who are interested, it's pronounced 'wuss-teh-shur' in British English, with a hard stop on the last syllable.[[/labelnote]]
* Fearne tries to lift up F.C.G., but can only get him a few inches off the ground, so F.C.G. picks up Fearne. He starts wheeling her around as she covers his face with her dress.
-->'''Liam:''' So she's just Esseking around?
* Ashton talking about one of his informants Advick who they can meet, but isn't all keen on the idea. Everyone then jumps in to ask if Ashton had once dated him since he was acting so weirdly about Advick, leaving him a nervous mess as he tries to avoid the topic.
-->'''Dorian:''' [[ShipperOnDeck Did you kiss him]]?
* Orym loses F.C.G.'s magic Delver's Coin, with Sam bringing it up on occasion and how he definitely "won't miss" the coin he lost. Orym can only look at F.C.G. apologetically.
** At the end of the episode as the group is surrounded, Sam jokes that the coin's powers included the ability to paralyze up to 30 people.
* The group meet a mysterious baker and find out the goods he sells are actually quite delicious. Then Orym jumps in to ask if the baker was selling any pies. The group then get into a discussion about how pies are technically not pastries, with Liam as himself saying that "pies are better than cakes". However, this is taken in character with the seller getting offended by Orym's words. Later in the bit Liam plays like Orym has been elaborating on this idea at length.
** Makes it funnier when the last time Orym ate so much pie he couldn't stomach the idea of it when Daryx said he had bought a whole week's worth for their trip.
** Said baker introduces himself as the Shadowbaker, carries around his goods in a trench coat, and when the party comments on his poor business model he insists that his clients will find him. From start to finish the whole scene is hilarious.
* Fresh Cut Grass runs into the natural enemy of all mono-wheeled beings: a flight of stairs. Being the only one strong enough to lift him, Ashton has to resort to using his maul to drag the little guy up the stairs.
* The party deciding to send Bertrand's body to Whitestone, where people (i.e. Vox Machina) will know him, is mostly played out somberly. The day after the episode airs, though, Laura tweets [[https://twitter.com/LauraBaileyVO/status/1459323751930032129 a different perspective]]...
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 5: The Threat Between the Walls]]
* Sam does the Hit Point Press ad... as a cat (as he frequently reminds everyone). His antics include taking a nap on Marisha, messing with her papers, asking if they want to see his butthole, and declaring he left a dead mouse in the bathroom.
-->'''Liam:''' We're finally getting that Pussy backstory.
** One of the producers noted on Twitter that Sam had somehow managed to simultaneously portray a cat and every boyfriend he’d had in college.
* Yash, the speaker for the Corsairs, tells the group that he requires "collateral" from them to ensure they don't betray him; specifically, he chooses Imogen, Laudna, and Dorian, and says they have to tell him the location of one of their loved ones; then, if they betray him, he can... [[IHaveYourWife get even.]]
** Imogen tells him where to find her father, which isn't really funny.
** Ashton just directs Yash to F.C.G., who's right there in the room. F.C.G. is less concerned about potentially being targeted and more just happy Ashton implicitly cares about them. It even funnier with it being implied the Yash doesn't even realise F.C.G is in the room with them, due to the statement below.
** Dorian comments that, as a traveler, he doesn't have any such collateral. So Yash tells Laudna to give collateral in his place, but she says the same thing. When Yash gets annoyed at how this is going nowhere, Fearne [[ComicallyMissingThePoint tries to offer "collateral" in the form of just saying where Dorian is.]] Yash finally gives up and just decides the two he's gotten are good enough.
* Yash gets more and more frustrated as the group continues asking him questions while not answering any of his own. The group realizes this and, not wanting to anger him, tries to stop... but continue to ask "one more question" over and over until finally they're told calmly but firmly to leave.
** Yash also asks who sent the group. They don't want to name Lord Eshteross, but then drop his name numerous times while talking to each other. It's never confirmed if Yash heard them, but as the group leaves they just accept that he probably did.
* Fearne mentions to Yash that "we know someone, and he's just great," completely losing the thread that Lord Eshteross wanted them to mention ''his admiration of the Corsairs.'' Narrative Telephone Ashley seems to have crossed over into the mainline campaign!
* Before the group leaves, Imogen offers Yash a pastry she bought from the Shadow Baker, though Yash respectfully declines on the grounds that he doesn't eat phantom pastries[[labelnote:Note]]In the sense that he doesn't know where the pastry came from and where it's been since.[[/labelnote]]. Imogen's response? "[[LiteralMinded It's real...]]"
* Orym trying to use the Sending Stone without knowing how to invoke it. Advik explains that they need to place their finger on the sigil and think of the person they're Sending to.
-->'''Laudna:''' Try it again, but finger the symbol! Go like "MMMM" and then think about Dorian!\\
'''Orym:''' Okay, diddle the sigil...
* Laudna is asked for her last name. She says "Laudna." She then clarifies that it's [[Film/SuperMarioBros1993 not like Mario,]] she's [[OnlyOneName just Laudna.]]
-->'''Laura:''' "Laudna Laudna Just Laudna".
* The message on the giant can Sam drinks out of: "Dear Werther's Original. We're very sorry. Peace + Love, Sam Riegel (Emmy Winner)." Although he adds an addendum below his apology around five or ten minutes later: "Dear Werther's Original. We're very sorry... that your candy is inedible."
-->'''Sam:''' I'm taking them down. I'm gonna single-handedly destroy their company. You know what you did, Werther's.
* Laudna strikes again with her Message cantrip shenanigans, this time directed at Imogen...who is completely unfazed by the creepy whispers.
-->'''Laudna:''' (''singsong'') Imogen~?\\
'''Everybody Else:''' '''''IMOGENNN...'''''
** And when Laudna casts Message to Imogen again, Sam whispers, "Hit Point Pressssss..."
--->'''Matt:''' (''chuckling'') Fucking dick.
* Once again, the cast is thwarted by a door. Twice. First, Fearne wild shapes into a rat and tries to slip under Dugger's door...only for her head to get stuck in the gap. Then Ashton tries to pick the lock...and gets their thief's tools stuck in the tumblers.
* F.C.G. hits Dugger with the Command spell and tells him to 'Alphabetize'. Dugger wastes his next turn naming his weapons in order.
-->'''Dugger:''' Dagger. Rapier. Shortsword.
* F.C.G. gets stuck in a puddle of goop in Dugger's house and has to resort to using their grapple cannon to pull themselves free. They manages to get free... only to get stuck in another puddle of goop.
* Dorian, after psyching himself up, slays one of the shade creepers, then excitedly exclaims, "Ha! I fucking knew--" before the shade creeper explodes in his face.
* The "white goop" that hinders the group's fight against Dugger is promptly called jizz by the players. Matt goes between a wide range of emotions, from exasperation to laughter to apologizing to the viewers, before he finally just accepts it.
-->'''Matt:''' I knew what I did as soon as I said it!
** When Laudna flavors her use of Eldritch Blast as taking some of the goop and blasting it at an enemy, Matt calls it "Eldritch Bukkake". The players are torn between laughter, being grossed out, and remarking that Matt is now complicit.
* F.C.G. gets knocked out in combat, which gives Sam the excuse for his trademark trolling. First, he acts like healing spells don't work on automatons. Then, when F.C.G is woken up, they pretend not to recognize the others before revealing it was a joke. [[CasualDangerDialogue This is still in the middle of combat.]]
* Afterward, debriefing with Lord Eshteross, the party clarifies that the "holes" they left in their wake this time are the preexisting passages dug into the core of the Spire.
-->'''Fearne:''' They're very small so if you send someone to investigate, you know, they should probably be children.\\
'''Eshteross:''' I'll pull in some favors, and-- ''what?"''\\
'''Imogen:''' [[NoJustNoReaction No.]] Just...just small.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 6: Growing Bonds and Teasing Threads]]
* Laura shows off the new merch item, cup insulators, repeatedly calling them "Koozies". Sam then confirms that "Koozie" is a brand name, and [[OurLawyersAdvisedThisTrope they need to stop calling them that immediately.]]
** Then they show off the Gilmore statue with Laura saying he's "12 inches". The cast start laughing and chat quickly talks about how Gilmore is 12 inches. Another highlight is Matt gazing at the Gilmore figurine with some saying, "Get you someone who looks at you the same way Matt looks at his 12 inch Gilmore statue."
* There's a RunningGag throughout the episode where the group is trying to come up with a name. The closest they get on their own is that it should probably include the word "Bell" in it somewhere as a tribute to Bertrand Bell. However, Laudna keeps asking various [=NPCs=] that they meet what the first word that comes to mind is when they look at the group. They get "trouble", "eclectic", and "sweet". This gets everybody no closer to figuring out a name, as they can't make any of that fit together. In fact, two of the three [=NPCs=] outright tell them not to use it.
* Laudna gifts Dorian a Bertrand doll, made of chicken bones and the hair she cut off from his head styled the way Bertrand's hair was. Dorian is clearly disgusted but politely accepts the gift. When asked if the Bertrand bone doll also had puppet strings Laudna starts to offer to give Dorian some who quickly says he's fine staring at it. Matt then comments that the doll's neck gives an audible crack sound.
* Ashton's game: "What The Fuck Is Up With That"? When asking if they have to say "fuck", F.C.G. points out that given it's [[SirSwearsALot Ashton]], they're bound to say "fuck" one way or another.
** Laudna revealing she did in fact die, causing F.C.G. to turn to her in shock. She then has them feel her heartbeat, with Marisha describing it as beating every twenty seconds.
--->'''F.C.G.:''' You're... [[ComicallyMissingThePoint very athletic]].
** F.C.G. isn't quite sure what happens if they drink alcohol, and when they do, it just kind of sloshes around inside them. The conversation soon starts derailing into how F.C.G. "relieves" themselves with Fearne asking if he had a flap. Later on, Fearne even tips F.C.G. like a flask so they pour out the liquor for her to drink.
** Dorian finally admitting that he is pretty wealthy, but not going too much further on his family name. This leads to the party asking if he's a lord or a prince. Cue them calling him "Prince Dorian" which leaves him slightly annoyed.
*** The entire game is made even more hilarious if it is now canon that the characters of Exandria naturally carry dice in their pockets to play games with.
--->'''Matt:''' "It's like [[AnyoneRememberPogs pogs.]]"
* Laudna says not many people go on vacation with swords. Orym responds, [[AdventureFriendlyWorld "Really? I know plenty."]]
* Fearne constantly being fascinated by F.C.G. and saying how much she wants to look at his insides.
-->'''F.C.G.:''' I'm not sure I like the look of your eyes.
** Later on, FCG offers to act as a thermos for some coffee that Yash has made for Fearne to see what happens, resulting in some curious glances from the group.
** This sets up a BrickJoke that pays off when they're back at Lord Eshteross's mansion and FCG offers to "top [Lord Eshteross] off" before leaving. Cue synchronised "oh no," from Laura and Taliesin as they realise what's about to happen and the cast [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bOJOaCsMU8 breaking down in laughter.]]
* Dorian trying to rest on Laudna's shoulder. Marisha says he can feel her shoulder dislocate after he places his head down.
* Ashton [[ClusterFBomb uses a large string of profanities]] in a rather simple question. Laura reminds everyone her parents also watch the show.
-->'''Ashton:''' I thought at first that he just wanted the Brumestone for some fucking Crazy-eyed reason, was doing some crazy fucking shit because he was all fucked up. But since it wasn't there, what was he doing with all that fucking money?\\
'''Laura:''' [[BreakingTheFourthWall Hi, mom! Hi dad!]]\\
'''Taliesin:''' [[DiggingYourselfDeeper Glad you're fucking watching!]]
* Liam prodding Laura to get her attention as he's trying to set up an IC conversation. "Hey, I'm trying to roleplay with you!"
* During a musicial duel against Ashton's friend Anni, Robbie rolls a Performance check with advantage and gets a Natural 20 on his first role. Liam goads him into trying to get double 20s.
-->'''Robbie:''' That would never happen. ''[He rolls]'' [[SuddenlyShouting HOLY SHIT!!!]]
* Anni ends up losing the showdown with Dorian and tries to swallow her pride. Imogen then worriedly asks, "Are you okay, Anni?" causing the other to storm off in a huff, slamming the door behind her. However, she does come back a moment later to yell at Ashton that he received a package before slamming the door closed again.
** Also, as soon as Imogen says "Are you okay, Anni?" the rest of the cast starts singing "[[Music/MichaelJackson Smooth Criminal]]". The chat also spams the "Are you okay, Anni?" for quite some time afterwards.
** Matt when he goes to answer it, nonchlantly answers yes, then when he hears Taliesin was laughing realized what he answered and facepalmed, getting most of the table to laugh at his plight.
* Dorian bribes an employee at the theater for box seats with ''ten platinum''. Laura -- and to be clear, not Imogen, but Laura Bailey -- is outraged that he would pay that much for a minor bribe.
** Then Fearne mentions how nice the halfling's jacket is and goes to touch it, and everyone else just goes "[[HereWeGoAgain oh no]]".
** Makes it doubly funny when Fearne manages to successfully swipe back six of the platinum, the halfling none the wiser.
--->'''Fearne:''' I wasn't going to take ''all'' of it.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 7: Behind the Curtain]]
* The new TitleSequence is completed! Much like the one at the start of campaign 2, it has zero indication of the plotline itself... apart from [[NightmareFace Marisha in Laudna mode]] freaking out Travis.
* Fearne's choice of snack for the show? Werthers.
* Like in [[CallBack campaign two]], the cast once again mishears "Flying Lauders" as "flying otters". Cue jokes about otters being thrown around the stage. Liam claims that they said "l'otters" because it's French. Matt decides to ThrowItIn, and some patrons exclaims, "I thought it was going to be otters!"
* As the show quickly comes to an end after the one of the performers hurt themselves a half an hour in, an announcer tells everyone to leave. They then quickly add that there would be no refunds for the show.
* The RunningGag of the group asking other people to describe them continues, with this week's words being: "patchwork" and "lucky".
* Laudna deciding to try and get rid of the straggling audience by using thaumaturgy to create the sound of someone shouting "There's a fire in the theatre!" Then Marisha tries to add smoke effects and the smell of smoke. Cue Matt pausing for a beat telling her thaumaturgy can't really do all of those things, but says people could hear the word "Fire!" being yelled out at least.
* Laudna's Message spell comes with creepy whispers. Keeping with the theme, the group starts joking that when Imogen does it, it's accompanied by banjos.
** Laura at one point protests this, and Liam remarks that [[DeadpanSnarker yeah, they don't want to go deciding things for other peoples' characters,]] [[CallBack like deciding they smell bad]]. Sam promptly backs Laura up on that one by pointing out that Liam had directly introduced Caleb last campaign as being ThePigPen.
* As they look around the theater, Laudna asks where most people would go to be intimate. Taliesin jokingly tries to cast "Black Light" as a cantrip. Matt tells him to put it out since the evidence wasn't pretty.
** Later Ashton and Laudna split off from the others to investigate other parts of the theatre. They end up investigating the toilet... to find exactly what one would expect to find in a toilet area.
* As Orym and Imogen look around Orym jumps six feet into the air to get a better look of their surroundings. A kid sees Orym and looks up to him in awe, with Orym saluting in response.
* Of the many posters Stuvan had on the walls, Matt describes one as an interpretive dance of a catastrophe that occured in Exandria. The other is a one man show called, "To Kill A God" by none other than Scanlan Shorthalt.
* The group's tendency to keep asking questions crops up again when questioning the head of the theater, Stuvan, regarding recent disappearances. It starts with Ashton saying he has two questions, then changing it to three, at which point Stuvan sarcastically says "Add a fourth one, why not?". After answering questions, Stuvan asks the group to leave; F.C.G. then asks how one would get into acting, starting to annoy him. Imogen says ''she'' has a question - and has to explicitly say it's important before Stuvan listens - then Fearne and Dorian get their own in before the group ''finally'' leaves.
--> '''Liam''': Just seventeen more questions!
** Bit of meta humor as F.C.G. asks Stuvan how to get into acting, apologizing if Stuvan got this question asked a lot with Stuvan replying, "I do, please leave".
--> '''F.C.G.:''' People say I sound really cool. And I think that's all I really need!\\
'''Stuvan:''' (''facepalming'') ''Get out''.\\
'''Taliesin:''' I ''slowly'' grab Fresh Cut Grass and drag them out of the room.
** Taliesin jokes that as Stuvan closes the door Ashton leaves his headshot on the way out. The other cast members start joining in by adding in their own skills with Matt groaning in the background saying, "It hurts..."
* Stuvan using an intercom like device to let the theatre know the group have his permission to walk around as they please and to help them with their investigation. Unfortunately, he can't quite remember the group as a whole.
** He calls Orym Borym and refers to him as "the small child-like one". Laudna is "a creepy lady one" that he can't remember.
* Being a bunch of Nerdy-Ass Voice actors, the cast has several jokes and references to theater, theater class, and acting in general during their investigation of the theatre.
-->'''Taliesin''':(After Matt finishes describing the clashing props in [[CreepyBasement the storage room]] as pure NightmareFuel) [[NightmareFetishist I have never been so comfortable anywhere in my entire life.]]
** Matt then describes a now once white dress being yellowed with age and Fearne immediately calls it the most beautiful dress she's ever seen. Naturally, she nabs it.
** F.C.G tells Laudna they found a box of cat costumes, and that they all [[Theatre/{{Cats}} look very Jellicle]]. Some of the party comment that a few have strangely prominent buttholes, while others have had their buttholes removed. Ocampo is quick to add that was not his artistic vision and was Stuvan's attempt to rebrand the show, [[TakeThat which wasn't]] [[Film/{{Cats}} very good.]]
* One of the workers at the theater take a liking to Orym and start to flirt with him. You can only imagine Imogen's discomfort at whatever the lady's thoughts were.
* The group meet their newest and greatest enemy: a wall.
--> '''Taliesin:''' Next enemy is the ground.
* Laudna attempts to don her Form of Dread but rolls low. Matt describes it as "Form of Discomfort".
** When Ashton manages to free Laudna from the creature's tendrils, Laudna looks up to Ashton and creepily says, "My hero".
* F.C.G. trying to stay positive throughout the fight and insisting that the group can use this as an opportunity to break down the "metaphorical walls" around them.
* While half the cast don't take the time to be baffled, you can only imagine what their reactions are when they see Mister ''set himself ablaze'' while throwing flaming seed at the wall monster.
* After the group kills a strange wall creature, some guards hear the commotion and come over [[PoliceAreUseless (which Fearne sarcastically calls "great timing")]]. Ashton suggests they poke the creature to make sure it's dead. One of the guards does so, [[{{Troll}} and Ashton makes a shrieking noise as if the creature is still alive]]. The guard, startled, angrily tells him not to do that while Ashton is laughing his ass off.
** Ocampo comes out to check after the ruckus is over and asks what happened. Dorian explains.
--> '''Dorian:''' We found your [[BuffySpeak patron gobbler... thing]], it's hard to explain--\\
'''Laudna/Imogen/Ashton:''' It was a wall.\\
'''Dorian:''' [[VerbalBackspace --Not so hard to explain.]]
** Sam has this to say after they beat the monster.
-->'''F.C.G.:''' We broke the fourth wall.\\
'''Everyone:''' (''breaks down into laughter'')\\
'''Robbie:''' [[LamePunReaction How dare you]]!\\
'''Ocampo:''' [[LamePunReaction Fuck you]]! (''beat'') [[ActuallyPrettyFunny That's actually pretty good!]]\\
'''F.C.G.:''' Maybe I'll use it in auditions!
* The group keeps being asked if everyone is alright. Half of the party answers with a tired, "no".
* Orym's absolutely ''trashed'' after the battle as he keeps saying he just needs to rest for a minute, or sixty. Liam then describes it as Orym planking face first on the ground and tiredly asking if he could stay there for an hour. He groans in pain when Ashton helps him up and F.C.G. ferries him around like he's on a Segway.
* As F.C.G. sorts through the monster's insides for any identification of the missing victims, he picks up some jewelry and bones. Laudna holds her hands out and asks F.C.G. to give the bones to her while he holds the jewelry.
* Fearne deciding she'll try and nab some teeth, successfully swiping seven before she's caught. She argues with the cop who tells her they need evidence to identify the creature:
-->'''Warden''': This is a crime scene.\\
'''Fearne''': Yes, a crime scene [[InsaneTrollLogic I made]]!
** Fearne then counters by saying they don't need ''all'' of the teeth.
--> '''Fearne:''' (''huffily after being told off'') I'm leaving!
* Matt getting annoyed at the table joking about his slip up with the words [[CallBack "quiver and shift".]]
--> '''Matt:''' I'll never live that down, you motherfuckers. Keep telling the DM that. A lot more things can spit acid.
* Travis' new character is Chetney Pock o'Pea, a gnome rogue who bears a striking resemblance to Chutney Chocolatecane from the 2018 Christmas oneshot.
** Travis describes his height with "I'm short, motherfucker!" It turns out that Chetney is actually an inch taller than Orym -- but he might also be standing on his toes.
** Also just the fact that, after all the old man jokes about Bertrand, Travis' next character is ''even older'' at 100-120.
* Fearne asking if Chetney saw them fight and why he didn't run over to help. He immediately points out how the monster's tendrils shot out and dragged the party around, and how Orym was planking on the ground for half of the fight. The party can't help but agree with Chetney's decision not to join the fight.
** Travis's first appearance as Bertrand had the character [[LeeroyJenkins wildly and immediately jump into the fray]]. Chetney, in contrast, seems to have more common sense.
* When Chetney meets the group, Travis does a CallBack to Bertrand by jokingly having him [[HereWeGoAgain offer the group a job.]]
* As the group try to get Chetney to talk about himself with Imogen wondering if she should Insight Check, he shoots back with saying that ''he'' should be the one doing Insight Checks on ''[[NoYou them]]''. He does tell Imogen she can still peek into his head and "see what you like".
* As this week's episode ends, Liam warns the group that Chetney may not mesh well with them, with Sam adding in that Chetney could likely die in three episodes, comparing Travis to a [[HighTurnoverRate drummer from]] [[Film/ThisIsSpinalTap Spinal Tap]].
* Meta example: after the episode's premiere, someone tweeted at Matt asking if Travis's character confirms the Christmas oneshot as being canon. Matt [[https://twitter.com/matthewmercer/status/1469199172339322885 replies]] that Travis's new character, Chetney, is [[BlatantLies "entirely different"]] from his character in the aforementioned one-shot, Chutney.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 8: A Woodworker's Quandary]]
* This week's episode is sponsored by Old Spice, who want to promote their partnership with Series/TheWitcher2019. They sent Sam samples of the six scents, and he has the cast review them. There are seven other players, so Marisha didn't get to review a scent. She got to review Sam's scent instead.
** Laura nearly throws up at her scent, which ironically makes a worse ProductPlacement than Sam ever did. Then Robbie does something that makes his scent ''fill the room.''
** Sam did not, in fact, make up any of the names for the scents. They are all official names.
* Chetney's slightly weirded out by how friendly the others are.
-->'''Chetney''': Why are you so friendly? I might be armed to the fucking teeth!\\
'''Laudna''': Are you?\\
'''Chetney''': [[BluntYes Yes]].
* Chetney is freaked out by Laudna, just like [[Creator/TravisWillingham his player.]]
-->'''Chetney:''' Don't touch me! ''I'll cut you!''\\
'''Laudna:''' (''beat'') That tracks, that tracks.
** He then asks for Laudna to raise her hand when she speaks, leading the group to tell him he doesn't want her to do that. Laudna demonstrates, with her entire arm contorting and cracking as she raises her arm.
--> '''Chetney:''' Oh, you're all sorts of fucked up.
** Chetney would like their help finding his contact Gurge. This gets mispronounced as "Grog" several times.
* The group asks what Chetney does and he tells them he's a rogue and can pick locks. Everyone immediately points out how useful that skill is, given their [[RunningGag luck with doors thus far]].
* F.C.G. has an observation about going to the Spire By Fire with Travis' characters.
-->'''F.C.G.:''' We keep going here with old guys who end up dead.
* Chetney demanding the group introduce themselves, hilarity ensues.
** Dorian attempts to start with Chetney blowing up at him asking why Dorian goes first.
** He then half-heartedly moves to Laudna who's touched he remembers her name, but he grumbles it was only because he knows two so far. As Laudna says her name and tries to move down the line, Chetney huffs he spilled his story and gets nothing from her. Dorian tells Laudna to give Chetney the "book jacket" summary of her story. Afterwards, she introduces Pâté, with varying reactions from Chetney.
---> '''Chetney:''' Hello, Pâté! (''under his breath'') Oh... ''shit''.
** F.C.G. introduces themselves and Chetney waves at Dorian to scoot back a bit, to which he grumpily complies. Chetney takes a great liking to Fearne and suggests she lead during introductions because she's so nice.
** Chetney calls Imogen "mind reader" and she speaks into his head, causing him to jump up slightly. He asks her if she does that all the time or whenever she wants to.
--->'''Imogen:''' Whenever I want to.\\
'''Travis:''' You hear in your head, "Balls!!"\\
'''Imogen:''' (''beat'') Okay.
** Imogen suggests Chetney be kinder to Dorian, leading him to yell out loud, "Who's Dorian?!" Dorian looks back and forth along with everyone else and replies, "Me, I was first!" When Dorian explains he already introduced himself and relays their conversation Chetney turns away and says, "I tuned it out, sorry."
** Ashton saying he "hits things for money". Chetney tries to politely bring up Ashton's exposed brain and asks if it's not like a clock that's ticking.
---> '''Ashton:''' Aren't we all?\\
'''Chetney:''' ... That's so deep.
* As much as Laudna's character scares Travis, he can't help but make the jokes about Laudna taking out her hammer to Chetney along with strands of her hair and scalp.
* F.C.G. ''trying'' to play [[GoodCopBadCop Bad Cop]] when questioning Chetney, but he keeps forgetting and slipping out of character. Meanwhile, Laudna is supposed to be the "good cop," but Chetney is too freaked out by her appearance for her to be able to effectively be very empathetic with him.
-->'''Sam:''' I spin my saw blade.\\
'''Chetney:''' Do you use that on living things or for manufacturing purposes?\\
'''F.C.G.:'''' They aren't living for long! ''(keeps spinning his blade with his other hand)''\\
'''Chetney:''' Did you cut yourself? You keep checking the palm of your other hand for damage. Do you bleed?\\
'''F.C.G.:''' No I don't, actually.\\
'''Laudna:''' Tsk tsk, you're supposed to-\\
'''F.C.G.:''' I mean... None of your business, old timer!\\
'''Chetney:''' Sorry for asking, shiiiiiit. Fresh Cut Grass don't play.\\
'''F.C.G.:''' How do you know my name?!?\\
'''Chetney:''' ...You told me on the way here...\\
'''F.C.G.:''' Oh, sorry. ''(beat)'' I mean KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!
** At one point Chetney starts giving F.C.G. pointers on how to interrogate him, specifically instructing them to jam their sawblade into the table. F.C.G does so despite the fact that the blade doesn't work like that, forgets he was supposed to ask a question, then realizes his sawblade-hand is stuck and starts yelling for Ashton while sounding like he's about to cry.
** F.C.G. forgets he introduced himself to Chetney and is confused that he knows his name.
* Chetney. Just Chetney in general. His antics consistently have everyone in stitches, [[{{Corpsing}} the cast]] as well as the audience.
** Chetney immediately dubs Dorian his SitcomArchnemesis, taking umbrage at almost everything he says. When he finally learns that Dorian is named Dorian...
--->'''Chetney:''' You look like a Dorian.\\
'''Dorian:''' [[StageNames Joke's on you.]]
** Chetney and Orym follow a person who has been following the group, who asks to speak to Dorian.
--->'''Chetney:''' I got a bad read from that guy.\\
'''Stranger:''' Really!?!
*** Note that, as we learn later, the stranger is ''Dorian's brother.''
** His insistence that he is a master craftsman, or MC for short. Later F.C.G. suggests the party could direct him to a job, or be "[=DJs=]".
-->'''Chetney:''' I suppose a couple [=DJs=] for an MC could work...
** Imogen asks if he's ever seen furniture come to life, and he waxes poetic about the process of creating furniture and making it "come alive." Imogen explains that she means [[NotHyperbole in the literal sense,]] that she and the party were attacked by animated furniture. When Chetney's response makes it clear he thinks they've all got a screw loose, no one manages to keep a straight face.
** At one point Imogen and Orym have a telepathic conversation. When they turn their attention back to the party, Chetney's got a knife (or chisel, or ''something'') held to Dorian's throat while telling him not to judge people for stealing.
* The gang decides that in lieu of gold from Chetney, they'd much rather be paid in wooden toys.
** Laudna in particular wants a girlfriend for Pâté. Chetney hesitates but promises to make sure it's anatomically correct and "girlfriend material".
--->'''Pâté:''' I'm quite horny, you see.
*** Matt's entire reaction to that. The one time he doesn't brag about being married to Marisha and looks conflicted for the rest of the conversation.
** Fearne then claims she'd seen a puppet show like that, causing part of the table to laugh.
** Dorian asks for Chetney to make him a ship with real brumestone, but the moment he says that, Chetney heatedly points out that he makes ''wooden'' toys. He then goes through Dorian's order while adding that everything would be wood. When Dorian asks why he can't make the toy fly if he's such a "master craftsman", Chetney shoots back:
--->'''Chetney:''' It's a children's toy! So you make it fly with your imagination!
* F.C.G. drinks the rest of the bottle of booze they'd bought, just to store it inside "for later." This draws a few jokes.
--->'''Liam:''' "First you had a flask, now you ''are'' the flask."\\
'''Matt:''' "It's the natural progression of Sam Riegel.\\
'''Taliesin:''' "One of the many talents of D.J. F.C.G."
** Later on, Fearne takes out her straw and sips some alcohol from F.C.G., with Sam quipping it was like "reverse baby bird".
* Laudna messages someone and assures them the group would not harm them in any way. One of her voices says otherwise.
--> '''Sam:''' ''She's lying, I will kill you''.
* Orym's response during the chase to get their suspect to stop running?
--> '''Orym:''' (''throwing his arms up'') Come on, man! He's like super old!
* Dorian had apparently run away from his family, who are oracles. Ashton quips that he's surprised they didn't see that coming. [[note]]Dorian's family actually apparently serves more of a "wise advisors" role rather than actually predicting the future, but the joke is still hilarious.[[/note]]
* As Laudna becomes interested in Chetney's work, she asks if there's a convention for Chetney's line of work. He suddenly looks up thoughtfully as he repeats what Laudna had said, as if he will sincerely make that come to life one day.
** Chetney asks if there's such a thing as a toy convention. Dorian replies "[[RealitySubtext Not]] [[UsefulNotes/COVID19Pandemic lately]]."
* As Dorian's brother Cyrus continues to talk to the group, he starts to show he's not the sharpest tool around. Many in the chat were quick to dub him a himbo. Comparisons to Verin Thelyss (campaign two [=NPC=] Essek's brother) also flew, as Verin was also described by Matt as "the himbo of the family".
** Among other things, Cyrus explains that the Corsairs have been sheltering him and have [[DeadlyEuphemism taken care of]] a few people who were looking to collect his bounty. It quickly becomes clear to the group that Cyrus has no idea what this actually means.
--->'''Ashton:''' Did you ever have [[DogGotSentToAFarm a puppy that had to go up continent]]?
** Cyrus apparently killed his pet rock, [[ADogNamedDog named Rocky,]] and hasn't gotten over it. (Or he was just yanking Dorian's chain.)
* Laura describes Imogen being incredibly uncomfortable being in the airway tram. Fearne gives this some thought and then "accidentally" starts swaying the car.
* After learning that Chetney spent the night in a chair in the tavern, Fearne offers to let him share her bed next time.
-->'''Fearne:''' [[BiggerIsBetterInBed You're a little small for me]], but I'll make it work.
* While searching Gurge's trashed house, Laudna and Chetney mourn the loss of his beautiful mahogany furniture. While the others search the home, Laudna uses Mending to fix the table.
** During their search they get confronted by the landlady, who seems more concerned about Gurge not paying his rent than she is about him being missing. As the group is heading out, Ashton declares he didn't like her and uses his hammer to smash the table and leave a massive dent in the floor. Laudna and Chetney are ''wounded.''
* Imogen informs Laudna that Fearne turned into a rat and will be spying for the group.
--> '''Pâté:''' Oh, look at that sweet hunk of fresh meat~.\\
'''Imogen:''' Pâté, that is so inappropriate...\\
'''Laudna:''' Look at you, [[ComicallyMissingThePoint you're offending Imogen]]!
* Fearne turns into a rat again to sneak around - and this time she's found out when a guard steps on her. Rat Fearne has a measly 1d4-1 hit point. There's severe MoodWhiplash after going from the prospect of another CharacterDeath to the shapeshift simply breaking, and the guards finding themselves suddenly standing over a 6-foot goat-woman.
-->'''Matt:''' [[CliffHanger And that's where we'll end for tonight!]]
** The entire emotional rollercoaster leading up to that moment. First, Fearne has to make a 50-50 roll to avoid taking 1 point of damage as the guard steps on her. She fails, but then remembers rats have 4 hit points! Actually, 1d4, so another tense roll ensues. She rolls a 2, so she's fine! Except, looking more closely, her rat form's hit points are 1d4 ''minus 1'', putting her at 1. ''Exactly'' enough for the stomp to revert her.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 9: Thicker Grows the Meal and Plot]]
* During this week's Nordiverse segment, Marisha reveals that Robbie was possessed last time because she had to choose between protecting the set with [=NordVPN=] or keeping Matt's subscription to his Vest of the Month club, and she chose the latter.
* Laudna attempting to help with the door by using the hammer she wears in her hair. As it cuts back and forth between the group and Fearne, Laudna keeps announcing how much longer it will take for her to unhinge the doors.
* Meanwhile, Fearne is being interrogated by the wardens, and justifies her interest in Gurge by [[DiggingYourselfDeeper claiming she was in a torrid relationship with him, and is attempting to find him after he left and stole some of her things.]]
--> '''Warden:''' [[PullingTheThread ...You were in a relationship with the wild man. The hermit on the outskirts of the city]].\\
'''Fearne:''' [[DoubleEntendre Well, he was a wild man...]]
* Later on, having used CharmPerson to placate the warden, she further distracts him with details about just exactly what they supposedly indulged in on their Wild Nights.
--> '''Fearne:''' [[NoodleImplements I mean, that's why I just love maple syrup, so.]]
* When trying to break Fearne out of the custody of the city watch, Chetney gets a Natural 20 to pick the lock. But it ends up as a moot point since everyone else smashes down the door the moment he gets it.
* In order to pay off a very expensive bottle, Fearne successfully snags the All-hammer off of Ashton and claims it was from "her great grandfather".
--> "Your great-grandfather was a pachydan?"
* Chetney sneaks into the kitchen by turning himself invisible. The first thing he does is [[SitcomArchNemesis smack Dorian in the face before scurrying away]].
--> '''Chetney:''' Peace out, bitches!
** When he comes back with his report, he talks into Dorian's ear, still invisible, unsettling Dorian. His weight causes Dorian to lean to the side to accommodate him as the old gnome crawls up his arm and latches onto his shoulder.
* Chetney starts monologuing to himself before pausing and asking who he's talking to.
** Imogen then briefly speaks into his head, asking if he was talking to her. Chetney hisses and wonders how to sever the connection, believing he achieved it when Imogen politely cut him off.
---> '''Chetney:''' I have more power than I realized.
* Chetney and Ashton both tell Fearne to not eat the food, especially the ham.
* The group try to come up with ways to distract the chef as well as Preio.
** Laudna suggests she can set the chef on fire by messing with the stove, which the others tell her not to do.
---> '''Laudna:''' I'm not judging, but I'm down for murder.
** Fearne says she can order a meal and call the chef out to give her compliments. When the large ogre chef does come out of the kitchen, he lumberly strides towards Fearne, pushing away half of the patrons trying not to get crushed. He starts welling up with tears and [[InelegantBlubbering blubbering]] at hearing Fearne say his meal was the best she's ever eaten. As she asks for his name, he says it's "Pretty".
** F.C.G. goes over to distract Preio who took a liking to him with Ashton handing him a bottle and suggests he do "the bottle trick". Unclear of what that meant, F.C.G. awkwardly tells Preio they want to perform a bottle trick and balances it on his head. Ashton is face-palming in the background while Imogen tries to hype up F.C.G. Funnily enough, Sam rolls a Nat 20, so everyone becomes enamored by the performance.
* The bookcase Chetney saw? It was a dining cart. When Dorian realizes how skewed Chetney's perspective was, he has a look that just screams, "Give me a break."
** Then Orym simply walks by and moves the cart with one hand.
---> '''Chetney:''' You, sir, are a man of unparalleled strength.
* As the others are held at crossbow point, Ashton hisses at Chetney to say something since they were the ones asking around for Gurge. Chetney says nothing, causing Orym to nearly get a bolt to the neck and Dorian to get a warning shot. Afterwards, an annoyed Ashton makes sure to hit wherever he heard Chetney's voice from.
** During the conversation, he puts gold onto the table for the bribe, which makes it seem like the coins appeared out of nowhere and even adds a small rocking horse to it.
* Ashton pausing for a beat and admitting he and the others [[DidNotThinkThisThrough didn't exactly think that far in advance]] for what they were going to say or do.
* The others haven't fully left the kitchen as Pretty is making his way back, so Imogen panics and makes a desperate attempt to keep his attention. She shouts, asking Pretty when he gets off and if he wants to go on a date with her and the others. The pained look on Imogen's face as she practically forces those words out of her mouth really sells how much she doesn't want to use this card but has no other choice.
* Dorian suggests since they were short on time for the girl's to make their date with Pretty a speed date. Ashton tells the girl's to get their date with Pretty over with so they can go back to the bar at some point, but gets ''oddly'' specific about the dating experience.
--> '''Ashton:''' You'll just slowly get banned from every single bar within the Towers. Just because you'll get awkward with a cook in one, you'll get awkward with a bartender in another. You'll start a fight in another, you will ''accidentally'' start making out with somebody's sister -- ''things get weird''.\\
'''Fearne:''' But what if we fall head over hooves for him?
* F.C.G. sounding like a concerned parent advising their child who's about to go on a date.
--> '''F.C.G.:''' ''Are you gonna fuck this guy''?!\\
'''Laudna:''' What the [[PrecisionFStrike fuck]] are you talking about?!\\
'''Fearne:''' Isn't that [[ComicallyMissingThePoint what you do on a date]]?
** ''[[SirSwearsALot Ashton]]'' being flabbergasted at hearing F.C.G. swear.
---> '''Ashton:''' What the fuck, Grass? What have you been reading?!
* As F.C.G. asks if any of them have been on dates before, Laudna admits to having a crush on a boy when she was younger who threw dirt in her face. When Orym asks his name, Marisha has to improvise something and panics.
--> '''Laudna:''' ...Andy.\\
''[The whole table breaks]''\\
'''Taliesin:''' Not Whitestone Andy? Have you been reading my fuckin' notes?!\\
'''Matt:''' You can read all about Whitestone Andy in the ''Tal'dorei Reborn Guide!''
** Liam asked in the first place because he ''really'' wanted it to be Percy. Marisha quickly confirms that no, impoverished farmer's daughter Laudna did not go to school with actual nobleman Percy de Rolo.
--->'''Travis:''' Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III... and ''[[AerithAndBob Andy]]''.
* Chetney and Imogen have another telepathic communication where he messes with her by saying he wants to wear her skin as a hat. Marisha thinks he said it aloud, leading her as Laudna to say Imogen has nice skin. But Chetney said it in his head, so Laudna just randomly decided to say that Imogen has nice skin out of the blue.
* The party makes small talk with a guard while his partner is away. [[TerseTalker The guard]] answers their questions in the most monosyllabic, bordering on noncommittal, way.
--> '''Imogen:''' "How's your night going?"\\
'''Guard:''' "Okay."\\
'''Fearne:''' "Do you like working here?"\\
'''Guard:''' ''(shrugs)'' ''('meh' grunt)''\\
'''Ashton:''' "Does it pay well?"\\
'''Guard:''' ''(another shrug)'' ''(another 'meh' grunt)''\\
'''Orym:''' "What are the hours like?"\\
'''Guard:''' "Long."\\
'''Dorian:''' "Do you get bathroom breaks?"\\
'''Guard:''' "Yeah."\\
'''Ashton:''' "You ever see some shit? Some shit go down?"\\
'''Guard:''' "Maybe."\\
'''Orym:''' "You get along with the other guy?"\\
'''Guard:''' ''(nods)'' "Okay."\\
'''Fearne:''' "Is this fence to keep people in, or keep people out?"\\
'''Guard:''' "Both."\\
'''Laudna:''' "Ever punch someone in the face?"\\
'''Guard:''' "Once."\\
'''Ashton:''' "Do you have your own armor, or is there just a locker full of them that fit everybody?"\\
'''Guard:''' "That."\\
'''Chetney:''' "Would you like a wooden coin?"\\
'''Guard:''' "Sure."\\
''(Chetney hands him one.)''\\
'''Guard:''' "Thanks."
* [[ItMakesSenseInContext Fearne getting shocked by a book]]. Ashton takes this opportunity to swipe a precious item off of her.
** Ashley decides that the item Ashton stole would be the chamber pot she took from Duggar's house. Talisin has her role a die to determine what Ashton grabbed in a more fair way but he ends up getting the chamber pot anyway.
** Then F.C.G. pretends to be affected and starts sounding like an updating computer, sound and all. He also starts acting like he lost his personality in the process.
* Chetney [[ItMakesSenseInContext jumps out a window, while invisible, to avoid being found by an NPC whose office he just robbed]]. On his way falling down, he takes a tomato he swiped earlier and throws it back up toward the window, where it flies in and splats on the office floor. The [=NPC=] goes from being shocked and ready to fight, to just sounding outright ''exasperated and offended.''
--> '''[=NPC=]''': ''Are you fucking kidding me?!''
** This exchange when Travis says he's throwing the tomato:
--->'''Matt''': Roll an attack.\\
'''Travis''': [[ExactlyWhatIAimedAt Oh, I'm not throwing it at him.]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 10: Ghosts, Dates, and Darker Fates]]
* The latest installment of the [=NordVPN=] saga sees everyone (save Marisha, Robbie and Sam) in their Hacksonas again, including the return of Ultra Kodex [[HeelFaceTurn as an ally]] against "Setty" (the virus in the set). Once the skit is done Matt tells Sam the bits are getting way too long. Sam claims he thought people were getting upset about not being included, and now ''he's'' being left out because [=BlackWillo69=] is currently "dead".
-->'''Sam:''' Some of you get mad that you're not in the bit!\\
'''Matt:''' ''Never'' been mad about that!\\
'''Taliesin:''' No one gets mad!\\
'''Sam:''' ''I'' think that you're mad. Maybe it's me projecting?
* Orym attempting to help out Chetney as he hides behind a shrub. However, he keeps peeking in and out occasionally to see what was going on before ducking back out of sight.
* Chetney pretending he was a ghost.
-->'''Chetney:''' I died in that room. Let me be freeeee...
* Laudna coming in with her Form of Dread, with the rain plastering her veil against her face. Dorian accentuates the creepiness by casting Levitate, having Laudna float three feet from the ground.
** As she approaches Vali, Matt asks if Marisha was going to do anything else, jokingly saying she was going to stab him.
--->'''Liam:''' [[MemeticMutation Laudna, what do you have? A knife!]]\\
'''Matt and Laura:''' No!!
** Vali ends up becoming terrified of Laudna, dropping his sword and fleeing back to the house. Fearne picks up his saber and says she will "definitely" return it.
* As some guards appear, Laudna hides behind Fearne, who puffs up to cover as much as she can.
** One of the guards are apparently superstitious and believe the other's claims about ghosts. F.C.G. however asks if that person "sees" ghosts due to the fact they might have stressors in their life or at home. The guard starts to talk about some trouble he's having with his missus before his partner elbows him to shut him up. As they leave, Ashton wishes him luck with the missus.
* The group decide that they split the sending stones so they know when and where to meet up. Dorian meekly reveals he gave the other stone to his brother. Fearne laughs as if Dorian told a joke with Laudna joining in, and Dorian has to tell them he ''did'' give Cyrus the other stone. So the group can't contact each other.
-->'''Fearne:''' The reason it's funny is now it doesn't work.
** Ashton then quips, [[DisappointedInYou "I'm not disappointed, I'm just angry."]]
* The group starts to split up, with Chetney asking Imogen to give him a "kiss for good luck". Imogen obliges, and so does Laudna. Chetney immediately puts as much distance between himself and Laudna as he yells at her to not do that.
-->'''F.C.G.:''' Is this dating?
* They get back on the gondola, and Imogen stares at Fearne saying, "Don't you do it...", leading to Fearne to not only shake the cable car yet again but shake the rainwater off herself like a dog in the process, spattering the clothes of an older pachydan gentleman sharing the car with them. Imogen uses Prestidigitation to dry his clothes as he leaves the car... but since it's still pouring rain, he's immediately soaked again.
** Still invisible, Chetney nearly gets squished by the doors as he tries to rush out, after trying to play dead to prank Dorian and Orym... only for Travis to remember that they were waiting for him somewhere else.
* Chetney and Dorian discuss death.
-->'''Chetney:''' Do you think about death? Cause Laudna's fucking terrifying.\\
'''Dorian:''' Why, do you think about death?\\
'''Chetney:''' No, Laudna's just fucking terrifying. (...) If that's what death looks like, I've got a whole other, perspective.
* The girls didn't get a gift for Pretty, so Laudna attempts to make something out of the trash pieces she found. Marisha rolled a 1 and when presenting the gift to Pretty, the only phrase Matt can use to describe it is, "Oh, honey".
** Despite the metal pieces soon falling apart due to the chicken bones, Pretty still sets it on the shelf for all to see. Preio attempts to persuade him to stop, but then politely allows it. However, they do tell Pretty through their teeth they will have to throw that gift into the trash.
** Pretty apparently made a SideBet with the other patrons, when the girls do appear for the date he yells, "Told you!" A few patrons grumble but relinquish some money to Pretty.
* Imogen and Laudna put the cauliflower and artichoke Pretty gave them on as accessories. Fearne merely sticks her pumpkin onto her horn.
* As Imogen asks Pretty if they could get a private table, Pretty lumbers to a group of patrons in the corner of the inn and growls at them to get out. Soon, he yells for everyone to get out, leading to a rush of people trying to finish up their drinks and stumble out.
** Imogen points out F.C.G. who says he'll just be in the back like a robot on the wall.
* The girls eventually take Pretty to the theater. While he admits he's prefers narrative plays more, he enjoyed the abstract show for its own merits.
-->'''F.C.G.:''' (''genuinely disappointed'') [[BrickJoke Still didn't have any otters]].
* Pretty ends up turning the girls down, but tells them they're all still wonderful and amazing women whom he hopes finds their special someones.
-->'''Laudna:''' Who would have guessed that ''we'' would be the ones that were stood up in the rain?\\
'''Imogen:''' Me. I could've guessed that.
* F.C.G. shares some wisdom from his creator, Dancer, "Love equals friendship plus alcohol." Fearne looks puzzled for a moment and then can be seen trying to do the math in her head, complete with tracing in the air as if she were carrying the one.
* Imogen mentions that there was a boy she had a crush on in her past. F.C.G. immediately asks for more detail.
-->'''F.C.G.:''' What was his name?\\
'''Imogen:''' [[LineOfSightName Sam. Samuel.]]\\
'''[[Creator/SamRiegel F.C.G.]]:''' [[SelfDeprecation Stupid name.]]
** We then get a nod to the Nord VPN saga.
--->'''F.C.G.:''' Samuel, the only man you've ever loved.
* Laudna asking Ashton what he did with his time and he replies he shook some trees and didn't get a whole lot.
-->'''Laudna:''' Apples.\\
'''Ashton:''' Apples... come from trees, and so do leaves.\\
'''Laudna:''' Bananas.
* Dorian, [[NiceGuy of all people]], takes the opportunity to [[NotSoAboveItAll mercilessly roast the girls]] when they admit that Pretty turned down a second date. Even better, his SitcomArchnemesis Chetney joins in, and they end up performing in-unison mockery that would put [[Series/TheMuppetShow Statler and Waldorf]] to shame!
-->'''Chetney:''' He probably talked about your "adventurous spirit".
-->'''Dorian:''' Yeah oh sure! How's it go, "it's not"...
-->'''Dorian and Chetney in unison:''' "...[[ItsNotYouItsMe you, it's me]]"? ''(howling with laughter)''
* Trying to get the guard away from Vali's house, the group try to convince him it was haunted. Laudna then casts a silent image so it looks like a ghost pushing its face and hand through the walls. [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere The guy immediately books it]].
-->'''Laudna:''' ''HAHAHAHA''!\\
'''Everyone:''' Shhhhh!! (''Laudna covers her mouth'')
** Inside when another guard seems to suspect something, Laudna casts another silent image of a little flower girl who rushes him. Matt describes the guy fainting on the spot since there was so much at once. She later brings the little girl with them, to Travis's and Orym's discomfort.
** Ashton then suggests Laudna leave the girl by the door so she could act as an alarm,and give whoever comes in a fright. Laudna agrees.
* The session ends on a very tense moment as the party is left face to face with some... ''thing'' that leaves them all horrified. With one exception.
-->'''[[NightmareFetishist Laudna]]:''' ''I love him.''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 11: Chasing Nightmares]]
* Ira creepily tells the other that his kind of work needs "volunteers". Laudna immediately has her hand up with an eager look on her face, leading Imogen to quickly tell her no.
* The cast joke around as they ask Matt, amongst Ira's description of being extremely long-limbed, if he has a tiny top hat. Matt responds with a flat "No", but the others still joke around and start singing, [[WesternAnimation/OneFroggyEvening "Hello My Baby"]].
--> '''Matt:''' (''laughing'') Not yet!
* As Ira initiates combat with the party by animating some furniture in the room, the cast practically cheers in vindication at ''finally'' finding out [[BrickJoke what caused the furniture to come to life back in the first episode.]]
-->'''Taliesin:''' ''I knew it!''
* The RunningGag of singing [[Music/VanessaCarlton "A Thousand Miles"]] takes a new wrinkle when Taliesin says Ashton's going to "''slowly'' make [his] way--" and Sam and Marisha start singing it in slow-motion. Everyone (bar Taliesin) cracks up at it, and even [[ActuallyPrettyFunny Matt]] has to hide his face in a full double FacePalm to keep from losing his composure.
-->'''Taliesin:''' You guys are adorable.
* Matt rolls a Dexterity save for one of the animated tables. In his own words: "It gets a 10. It's a table."
* In a meta example, Ashley has some trouble with her character sheet on her tablet as her turn in combat starts. Somehow, as she tries to figure this out, ''she ends up with Imogen's character sheet instead.''
* When Chetney goes to attack an animated chair, he holds up his mallet and wood chisel with a PreAssKickingOneLiner, "the woodshop's open." Travis's warbling elderly-man voice [[StylisticSuck really tries hard to fail to sell it, and succeeds!]]
* As Matt notes that Ira was taking off some weights, Liam comments that he was like Rock Lee.
** Then as Ira stretches to his full height (of about 11 feet) with his hands nearly grazing the floor, Liam describes Orym and Chetney looking upwards in slight awe and horror. Chetney then holds Orym's hand for support.
* Ira tries to attack Chetney and F.C.G. with his claws, but is blinded. As a result, Matt has to re-roll, and so the attacks miss. Liam describes it as the claws whiffing overhead, and Matt goes with it, as if Ira had forgotten to adjust his blinded aim.
-->'''Ira:''' ''(frustrated sigh)'' Oh, right, right. That's on me.\\
'''Travis:''' Maybe we let him live, he's funny.
* Chetney reveals he's a Blood Hunter werewolf, but is still [[PintsizedPowerhouse gnome-sized]].
-->'''Sam:''' He's a ''tiny'' werewolf?!\\
'''Liam:''' He's a ''terrier!''
* Sam then says after seeing Chetney turn, "Let's make this a party." He then describes fur coming out of F.C.G's parts -- before dropping it and admitting he was just pulling everyone's leg.
-->'''Sam:''' (''in a robot voice'') I -- am -- Were-Bot 2000.
* In the Mighty Nein campaign, Jester and Shakäste both loved conjuring up truly absurd Spiritual Weapons. FCG continues this tradition, summoning up one in the form of "the thing tables fear most": a condensation-wet beer stein with no coaster! He even obligingly attacks the tables by cheerily wishing them health, "L'chaim!"
* F.C.G. gets turned into a turtle, because the Nightmare King polymorphs him into one. To which Matt uses a rat as a stand-in, since he didn't have a turtle mini.
** Dorian after getting a saving throw grabs F.C.G. as a turtle as he rolls across the ground. Robbie later describes Dorian tucking F.C.G. turtle into the front of his clothes.
* Orym manages to get back up, with Ira's attention off of him and stabs him in the butt.
-->'''Liam:''' I stab him in the Fae-nus.
* Ashton gets up and close to Ira, dropping a few liners.
-->'''Ashton:''' We haven't actually met yet.\\
'''Ira:''' No, but I feel like I'm getting a feel for your capabilities.\\
'''Ashton:''' [[CasualDangerDialog Love the outfit]].
* Another poor guard has a bad time, as when he comes to see what's going on, werewolf-Chetney roars at him and sends him screaming into the night.
* While escaping from the Moon Tower, Marisha checks to see if they can spot Ira nearby, asking, "Do I see Creator/CrispinGlover anywhere?" to general laughter.
-->'''[[NotSoAboveItAll Matt:]]''' You figured out my plot so easily!
* As Matt is describing the PreExplosionBuildup of the Moon Tower, some of the party turn to watch, including Ashton. When there's a moment of quiet after the buildup, some of the party looks puzzled, but Ashton says, "Wait..." and when the explosion finally happens, nods and says, [[GenreSavvy "Yeah, there we go."]]
* Dorian gets knocked out, causing him to fall on F.C.G. who turns back into his robot form due to the impact. After bringing back Dorian, he has Dorian drive him like a segway.
* As the party recovers on a gondola, Matt interrupts their dialogue to ask them where they're headed. Sam riffs on it as if they were in a taxi and talking to the driver. "Just drive, all right?!"
** As they're getting on, the gondola driver asks the party what that loud sound was. The party -- beat to shit and covered in their own blood -- tell him [[ImplausibleDeniability they didn't hear anything]]. Ashton chews them out for this afterwards.
--->'''Ashton:''' When you leave the site of an ''explosion'', covered in blood, there is ''nothing'' more suspicious than saying "I didn't hear or see anything!" Just say "Yeah, that shit was crazy, and I don't know what the fuck happened, but we're bleeding and going home!" We're gonna get caught! Motherfuckers!\\
'''Fearne:''' Well, for as far as they knew, we just had a wild night.
* Gurge being sarcastic to the group, that even shocks F.C.G. who was just trying to politely start a conversation.
* Fearne seemed very.... keen on having Gurge or Chetney bite her.
* The gang has to share one room at the inn where they're staying, and Matt notes some may have to share bed space, and then [[OneOfTheGuys Laura]] decides to crack a joke.
-->'''Laura:''' We're ten games in, I think it's time for an orgy.\\
'''Ashley:''' Yeah.\\
'''[[TheNewGuy Robbie]]:''' Is that the rule? I'm new here, I don't know-- how many games does it take?\\
'''Sam:''' Turn off the cameras!\\
'''[[NotSoAboveItAll Matt]]:''' Roll some constitution saving throws here, guys...\\
'''Marisha:''' There's still one more lighting mode [for the set] we haven't tried yet~!
* While going over the group's To-Do list, F.C.G. brings up the upcoming ball and asks why they need to go. Imogen -- or possibly Laura -- answers quite bluntly: "Because it seems like we could dress up." Matt promptly loses it while Marisha/Laudna just nods in enthusiastic agreement. Dorian also joins in by barely hiding the fact he wants to attend the ball so he could dress up.
* In their meeting with Eshteross, Dorian gets very excited at the prospect of having the group officially presented at the ball, Laudna once again ponders what their team name could be, Eshteross is gently trying to urge them on their way, and then Orym speaks up.
-->'''Orym:''' I have a head wound, so...
* Dorian being absolutely insistent that the group do a spa trip before they pursue anything else.
** Dorian is sitting by Laudna in the bath area where she cheerfully comments that the steam has eased up her joints enough where she could easily pop her shoulder out. She demonstrates, and Dorian looks like he's trying not to throw up as he asks her what was floating in the water. It was her fingernail, which she retrieves and eats. Dorian promptly starts scooting over towards Chetney as Imogen is in the back laughing.
** Ashton, while taking full advantage of the baths, declines any massage treatments.
--->'''Spa staff:''' We can... okay.\\
'''Ashton:''' [[HatesBeingTouched Don't fucking touch me.]]
** Dorian and Chetney go to get a massage with Chetney hiding his expression in his arms. Dorian happily tells Chetney to just "let it all out" as Chetney continues to whimper.
** Fearne getting herself pampered up like the Cowardly Lion. Even funnier is that she had to be looked after by a tiefling who cleaned up the guests pets and admitted this would be an experience for her as well. Ashley asks if Fearne got the bandana's pets get after spa treatments, which Matt jokingly confirms.
* During the spa trip, Orym takes advantage of the beautiful view of the city and takes his sword out to do a little training while enjoying said view. Laura then says that Orym is doing all of this with his dick out (and Liam agrees!).
* Ashton and Jiana Hexum's doorman having a SnarkToSnarkCombat with one another, with Ashton even mimicking the doorman's derisive accent.
-->'''Doorman:''' (''beat'') A letter has been, received, and I can tell you are mocking me.\\
'''Ashton:''' (''with the same accent'') It's not hard.
** When the door slams in his face, Ashton beats his fist against the door again, gives his message and flips off the doorman.
* Laudna attempting to smile and practice announcing the group as the new "Nobodies", with Dorian coaching her. Despite his best efforts, Laudna still comes across as creepy and terrifying. Dorian still politely claps and then motions for everyone else to do the same.
* In a conversation, Orym mentions Keyleth, the Voice of the Tempest. Laudna -- or rather, Marisha -- says that [[ButHeSoundsHandsome Keyleth sounds "unfathomably awesome"]].
* When Imogen finally has access to the library, she's told that the grounds "are hers". [[LiteralMinded Fearne]] mistakes this as meaning that Imogen has literally been given the library and university and she actually owns them now.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 12: Make It Fashion]]
* In this episode's ad marks the return of Bob Matthews, younger brother of [[Music/DaveMatthewsBand Dave Matthews]], along with Dave's second-cousin Rick Matthews (played by Robbie). Sam's accent starts off vaguely Southern but quickly migrates to old man with digestion problems.
* Laudna and Imogen decide to check on Zhudanna, briefly wondering if she's alright. Matt [[{{Troll}} turns this mild worry into a huge scare]] by having them make perception checks upon entering her room, and they see Zhudanna sitting in her chair. When asked if she was awake or asleep, Matt's choice of words is that she "appears to be unconscious".
-->'''Laura:''' Why is he making it sound like she's dead?!\\
'''Marisha:''': I know!\\
'''Sam:''' You can't tell if she's awake, because she doesn't have a head.\\
''(everyone cracks up)''
* The whole party assuring F.C.G. that they don't *have* to have Chetney craft legs for them to wear pants for the ball, but encouraging them to go for it if they want to, is adorable. Then Chetney casually suggests that they could use Imogen's newly-acquired student access to the Starpoint Conservatory to raid a cadaver lab and borrow a face for F.C.G. to wear, setting off a round of "Jrusar Chainsaw Massacre" jokes.
* In a big, elaborate clothing store, Chetney is picking out some clothes. When he asks for something to cover his head, the (slightly creepy) seamstress invites him up to the haberdashery floor.
-->'''Taliesin:''' ''(ominously)'' No-one comes back...\\
'''Marisha:''' And that was it for Travis's second character!\\
''(everyone starts laughing)''\\
'''Travis:''' ''(mimes presenting something to Sam/F.C.G.)'' Your face.
** Then when he asks how much his outfit would cost, the seamstress replies that it would be eighty-five gold. Chetney politely excuses himself as he runs back to the group and makes it sound like he's trying not to be overheard.
--->'''Chetney:''' It was eight--five fucking gold!!\\
'''Ashton:''' (''beat'') I mean, [[DeadpanSnarker didn't we know this would be crazy stupid expensive]]?
* Laudna picks out a dress with a taxidermied fox around the neck. Matt gives Marisha the option to choose whether it's a good taxidermy job or not, and she chooses the less expensive option with a poor taxidermy job, prompting the seamstress to ask with mild concern if she's sure this is what she wants. Laudna, of course, adores it.
* Dorian asks Imogen if she can go find Chetney, but she misinterprets this as him asking her politely to leave. The two of them begin awkwardly stammering at eachother, trying to correct the social faux pas, until Ashton has enough.
-->'''Ashton:''' Oh, for fuck's sakes. ''(walks outside)'' You done with those legs yet, old man?!\\
'''Chetney:''' I mean, the general shape is there, I left room for detail--\\
'''Ashton:''' No one cares. ''(grabs the legs and walks back inside)''
* The seamstress is so enamoured with F.C.G. asking for an outfit, she asks Fearne if this is an untapped market she should invest in, which Fearne confirms. After F.C.G. gets his free outfit, the seamstress has Fearne sign a contract to say that F.C.G's outfit design belongs to the seamstress, which she does without much hesitation or thought.
* The group try to come up with some names that isn't the "New Nobodies". One of them is "Bell's Hells" and then there's "Focus Group". The table starts laughing as they emphasize the comma, pointing out that the party can barely focus, so the name would be "Focus Comma Group".
* Marwa's introduction. Ashton is so thrown off by her he can't even come up with a good fake name.
-->'''Ashton:''' [[AtrociousAlias Aaron]].\\
'''Marwa:''' Really? My name is Aaron, too!
** Ashton's bad luck continues as he tries to steal the saber off of Fearne, but she notices and he has to bashfully turn away after being spotted.
--->'''Fearne:''' (''sweetly'') What are you doing?\\
'''Ashton:''' (''beat'') Nothing.
* Marwa accidentally triggers an [[ExplodingCloset avalanche of stuff]] while pulling something down from a high shelf, and has to juggle to avoid dropping several items. Imogen uses her telekinesis to catch some of it, prompting a bewildered reaction from Marwa. When Imogen tells her that she did it, Marwa says, "Oh, that was you! I was like, 'I can do this?!'"
* Marwa casually mentions that an item in her shop used to belong to Harold, a former adventuring partner of hers, who was killed by some creature out in the wilds. F.C.G. curiously asks about it. Marwa seems entirely [[AngstWhatAngst nonchalant about it]].
-->'''F.C.G.:''' Did you see the creature that did it?\\
'''Marwa:''' No, no, we just found what was left of him. There was just pieces, it was crazy!\\
''(later)''\\
'''Marwa:''' I haven't thought about that in a long time. ''(suddenly thoughtful)''\\
'''Imogen:''' How long have you been here?\\
'''Marwa:''' ''(at the same time)'' I haven't processed... that's probably trauma-- ''(to Imogen)'' [[AngstWhatAngst What?]]
* Marwa shows off an old, weathered, yellowed glass eye. Ashton comments, "I don't know if I've ever meant this quite as much, but that thing has [[{{Pun}} seen]] some shit, jeeze." The rest of the table [[LamePunReaction groans at this]], and Taliesin defends himself by stating he'd been sitting on so many puns that one had to get out.
* Fearne manages to snag an item, but then as they leave decides to return it as she goes.
-->'''Laura:''' I feel like we've witnessed some...growth?...in Fearne?\\
'''Ashley:''' No, no, heavens no!
* Imogen's struggles with the rocking gondolas continues, this time because of a mischievous little boy rocking back and forth. She puts some fear into him with her telepathy, telling him "I can find you in your dreams." When the boy looks terrified, she feels guilty ("Laudna does that shit all the time!") and tries to apologize, but fumbles over her words. Just before they disembark, Orym looks up at the kid and tells him, [[NotSoAboveItAll "She'll haunt you forever."]] As they walk away, they can hear the kid starting to wail and cry, and his bewildered mother's reaction. ("What's wrong, Daniel?!")
* Imogen returns to the library with F.C.G. to research the Briarwoods, but rolls an 8, so she only finds publicly available historical records. Sam then asks if there are pictures of them in the books, and whether or not they're sexy.
-->'''Matt:''' No. You rolled too low to find the sexy photos. A 15 ''at least'' to find the sexy photos.\\
'''Taliesin:''' ''(mimes flipping through a magazine)'' Legend of Vox Machina -- Swimsuit Issue?
* At one point, Laudna is running between locations eating a pastry because she's in a hurry. Matt asks if she's doing the Anime Girl run, which Marisha plays into. Robbie makes a joke about "[[Franchise/SailorMoon Sailor Laudna]]." The entire table breaks at the image, as well as Robbie's look of instant regret.
** Made even funnier because nearly half the table is made of ''Anime/SailorMoon'' alums: Liam (Nephrite), Matt (Prince Dimande) and Robbie (Mamoru), with the latter two playing people attracted to the titular character! Robbie is the best person to make the joke, given that Mamoru ''is'' Usagi (Sailor Moon)'s partner.
* Laudna tries to bargain with Marwa, who doesn't take kindly to that. As Laudna explains she wants to get an outfit for Pâté, Marwa asks who Pâté is. The way the table starts breaking out into giggles as Laudna slowly reveals Pâté who greets Marwa. She's so fascinated and stunned she immediately gives Laudna what she wanted, but also asks she bring a pastry every time she visits.
-->'''Marwa:''' Isn't friendship pastries?\\
'''Laudna:''' (''beat'') Yes, friendship is pastries.
** Laudna also snags a creepy doll's head.
* Robbie built a couple of dice towers during an RP moment. Travis noticed and nudged his arm just as Robbie finished the second one, knocking it over. Cue Travis silently doubling over with laughter while Robbie shot him an [[ActuallyPrettyFunny amused]] DeathGlare, and Marisha and Ashley also trying not to laugh. ([[FailedASpotCheck Everyone else was RPing or taking notes, and didn't notice because they kept it quiet]])
* The group's craft day as a whole.
** Chetney finally gives Dorian his toy ship, which Fearne immediately snags. Then plays with it in the water, forgetting it was an airship. Orym then nabs the ship and throws it up in the air attached to rope so it sticks to the ceiling. When asked if it was permanently up there, he pulls it back down.
** Imogen having some difficulty with her mask. As Chetney admires Orym's work and praises him, this conversation ensues:
--->'''Orym:''' I learn from the best.\\
'''Laura:''' You hear in your head, "Fucking piece of shit!"
** Robbie jokes the "c" for F.C.G. is "Christ".
--->'''Matt:''' Don't ruin the story twist later!
** When Laura rolls low, Matt tells her that it's fine, the DC for making masks is not high at all, the only reason he's making anyone roll is to see if they get a natural 1 and royally fuck up theirs. Someone ''does'' in fact roll a natural 1... but that someone is Orym, who immediately re-rolls it using Halfling Luck.
--->'''Matt:''' Dammit, that was my ''one'' chance!
** At the end of the arts and crafts session, Laudna dresses Pate in the little doll's suit. Milo, who was helping them with their projects, whispers to Ashton that they both love and hate it... though it's mostly hatred.
--->'''Milo:''' There's no lower form of comedy than ventriloquism.
* Laudna worries about how Dorian is taking the plan.
-->'''Laudna:''' I just don't want to like...cause undue trauma.\\
'''F.C.G.:''' Then don't look at anybody! [Everyone laughs, [[ActuallyPrettyFunny Marisha hardest of all!]]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 13: A Dance of Deception]]
* [=NordVPN=] are back as sponsors, to Matt's complete dismay. [=BlackWillow69=]'s data ghost informs Travis that the only way to restore him is for Travis to "earn" his hacker name of "Number 2", which apparently requires Travis to [[ToiletHumor poop out]] [=BlackWillow69=] somehow.
-->'''Matt:''' (''after Sam ends the bit'') I hate this place.
* As half the team is fumbling all over trying to figure out how to steal the ring, Matt cuts away to Lord Eshteross and the rest of the team in the other carriage, [[GilliganCut confidently asserting that they're certain the rest of the team has their part of the plan well in hand.]]
** Then Dorian's group get way off track as they wonder who will play Dorian's number two. Imogen then asks if she can't just also be the date since it would be awkward if she were there as well. Orym adds they could if they "went that way".
** Marisha as Laudna repeating what their main goal for the night was so the other team remembers with Sam adding in the pigeon noises.
--->'''Chetney:''' (''looking at carriage ceiling'') Fucking... flying rats!!
* Ashton discribes Lord Eshteross as 'Mysterious, badass and rich, he's like [[CallBack Owlbear-Man]]'. To which Lord Eshteross replies that Owlbear-Man doesn't exist it's just a folk tale.
* Chetney decides to sneak his chisel in by having F.C.G. swallow it. Travis and Sam proceed to start acting out the whole scene, with Sam saying "[[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything relax the throat]]".
-->'''Matt:''' You don't... ''have'' to act it out.
* When Dorian's group are asked how they would like to be announced, Imogen and Dorian have a telepathic conversation with Imogen asking Dorian for his full title. He balks and asks why they weren't using the cool team name they'd planned to try out. Imogen ignore that entirely as she repeats Dorian's title to the announcer.
* Dorian introducing his servants, Orym as Copernicus, and Imogen as [[AerithAndBob Maude]]. Laura visibly purses her lips when she hears that.
** Imogen ''really'' wasn't happy with the entire arrangement.
--->'''Laura:''' "I guess I'm just a servant." You hear in your ''fucking'' head!\\
'''Dorian:''' I knew it! I knew you were mad about that! I knew you were mad!\\
'''Imogen:''' ''[[BlatantLies It's fine]]''.
* F.C.G. rolling around and pretending to talk in a stilted robot speech.
-->'''F.C.G.:''' Shall. I. Get. Master. Some. Wine?\\
'''F.C.G.:''' Perhaps. A. Rosé?
* Professor Grys becomes enamoured by F.C.G. and Laudna attempts to get some information out of him. She asks him about "weird ass dreams", and then he starts going on about where he had a dream he was a mango. Laudna's [[ThisIsGonnaSuck frozen expression]] immediately shows how much she regrets picking this guy for conversation.
-->'''Marisha:''' Oh fuck, he's gonna tell me about a dream.\\
'''Taliesin:''' You did this to yourself.
** Then Ashton comes along, and Laudna looks to them to rescue her from the conversation. Nope. He encourages the guy to talk more about his dream in fascination ([[TheGadfly though likely just to make the conversation stretch out more]]).
--->'''Ashton:''' How does a mango perceive time?
* As much as the crew was concerned that they would draw too much attention, General Ratanish and his group from the Paragon's Call look even more out of place, like "somebody tried to dress up some ''Mad Max'' extras."
* Just as Fearne seems to be getting a lady as her partner, the lord she'd spoken to earlier pushes between them and takes the dance with Fearne.
-->'''Lord Preston:''' It seems luck has brought us together.\\
'''Fearne:''' (''in a sweet tone'') Not so much as brought together, but more like you cutting in line.
** Who is this guy, by the way? [[UpperClassTwit Lord]] [[SmallNameBigEgo Preston]] [[AbhorrentAdmirer Drodelon]], of Eos, and formerly the Lord of the Quad Roads in Vasselheim... that is, [[TheBusCameBack the once-beggar who became a nobleman by drawing two wishes from Grog Strongjaw's Deck of Many Things]]. The mix of recognition, elation, and ''horror'' that spreads across the table as it dawns on the players (except for [[TheNewGuy Robbie]]) is funny in and of itself.
** Fearne asks Lord Preston [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall "Do you ever wish for anything more?"]], prompting a SpitTake from Taliesin.
* As Robbie explains his plan to toss the fake ring to Fearne Laura is having a meltdown. Taliesin can be heard muttering, "No one crimes well".
** When F.C.G., who's holding a couple of drinks, questions them about their plans, he gets so frustrated he mutters, "God, [[INeedAFreakingDrink I wish I could drink]]." He then hands the drinks off to Fearne, who drinks one and then hands it to Dorian who drinks the other. F.C.G. ends up with two empty glasses in his hands.
* As the group is mingling, Orym notices something, and whispers to Dorian that ''Cyrus'' is here. You know, the guy with the massive bounty on his head? The exasperated panic from the players is ''palpable''.
** As the dance starts, Chetney approaches Cyrus and pulls him to the side to yell at him.
--->'''Chetney:''' You're supposed to be keeping a ''low profile!''\\
'''Cyrus:''' I am! I'm... [[AtrociousAlias Lord Durtanya]].\\
[...]\\
'''Chetney:''' Your brother is here, and he's on a ''very'' important mission.\\
'''Cyrus:''' Can you ''please'' not tell him I'm here?\\
'''Chetney:''' ...What's it worth to you?\\
'''Cyrus:''' ''(fumbles off to the side)'' 60 gold?\\
'''Chetney:''' What did you say? 70 gold?\\
'''Cyrus:''' 70 gold.\\
'''Chetney:''' ...Just keep your damn money. Come with me.
* Fearne trying to meld into the crowd with the ring in hand, with one of the dancers noticing. She quickly says, "He proposed!!" with the man congratulating her. Fearne then says she has to "tell my girlfriends" as she rushes off, leaving the guy to awkwardly shuffle until he gets a partner.
** As Fearne is trying avoid several admirers trying to draw her into their dance, she uses ''Primal Savagery'' to evoke a NightmareFace while snarling, "I don't wanna dance with you!" to get them to back away.
--->'''Ashley:''' I'm fucking done!!
* After managing to recover "his" ring (actually the fake), Armand Treshi glares at Fearne and calls her a "clumsy" dancer.
-->'''Fearne:''' Yeah? Well...... [[LameComeback Rude!]]\\
(''The other players burst out laughing'')\\
'''Ashley:''' [[LampshadeHanging I sure fucking told him!]]
** Then as he storms off a guest tries to calm him down by telling him to be nicer to Fearne because she just got engaged.
* Matt then cuts to Laudna asking what she was doing.
--> '''Marisha:''' (''beat'') I was dancing with Ratanish, but that doesn't seem important right now.
* Laudna notices Vali Dertrana in the dance crowd, prompting a brief OhCrap from the players-- as he had met some of them before getting frightened off in Episode 10. Vali is looking at Ashton. Taliesin tries to NoSell it by noting that his costume and mask hide all of his features... and then the others point out that he's wearing a ''Nightmare King mask''. Taliesin goes, "Oh, yeah, that's right!" ... and then promptly leans into it, "All right. I'm in. BringIt."
* Matt revealing that the whole ring mission was actually only five minutes in game time, to the others' stress and shock.
* Chetney sneaking past some guards and lets out a "silent but deadly" fart. The two guards start asking if the other did it.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 14: In Too Deep]]
* Ashton and his opponent have the same initiative roll and seem to be headed towards "rollies", but Ashton has a higher dexterity. Cue the table being disappointed there will be no rollies tonight.
--> '''Matt:''' I am beyond rollies!
* Mid-fight, F.C.G. uses Ardent Armor to give Ashton some temporary hitpoints. They do this by grabbing someone's drink and throwing it right into Ashton's face, because they know how much he likes boozing.
-->'''Ashton:''' Ow! Ow, that burns! I'm bleeding, you threw alcohol on a ''bleeding'' person!\\
'''F.C.G.:''' It'll staunch the bleeding, I'm not that kind of doctor!
* A meta one: after Ashton loses the fistfight to Ratanish, the leader of the Paragon's Call, he rolls a death save, and it's a Nat 1. It's obvious that Ashton is coming close to death, prompting the entire table to [[CallBack flash back to Mollymauk]] -- both are at Level 5 and facing an enemy way above their weight class, and Molly was ''brutally'' murdered during that encounter. Taliesin immediately yells at Sam to hurry up and heal him, because "this is not how I want to spend my weekend!"
* As the party finds out the captain was using Ashton as an example and advertisement to demonstrate the strength of [[PrivateMilitaryContractors Paragon's Call]], Laura who had written him down as "hot", can be heard crossing that word out.
* When F.C.G. is healing Ashton, they ask them [[HowManyFingers how many fingers they're holding up.]] Ashton asks how many fingers F.C.G. has, and Sam realizes that he doesn't actually know.
-->'''Sam:''' I've never actually thought about that...let me check my character art.
* Ashton, still beat to shit and leaning on F.C.G. for support, tries to start some rumors by looking a nearby nobleman in the face and whispering "Father?" Matt gives him advantage, but Taliesin still manages to roll a ''0'' on his Deception check. The nobleman walks away convinced Ashton got his ass kicked so hard [[IWantMyMommy he was asking for his dad]].
* Imogen, still annoyed by having to pretend to be Dorian's servant, contacts him telepathically:
-->'''Imogen:''' Oh, mah lord? Oh, mah [[SophisticatedAsHell fuckin']] lord?
* Chetney telepathically talks with Imogen and begins to accidentally mimic her accent much to [[GotMeDoingIt Travis's own surprise.]]
-->'''Ashley:''' ''[Laura]'' is too powerful.\\
'''Travis:''' It's like a black hole, man. You hit the event horizon and go ''(zoom)''.
** What does he say to get in touch with his inner Chetney? "Fuck Santa!"
* Dorian and the others discuss what they should do after Imogen contacts Cyrus. She replies that he told her to tell Dorian not to worry and he was "paying off his debts".
--> '''Dorian:''' In the bathroom?\\
(''Entire table falls into laughter'')\\
'''Sam:''' I will only call taking a dump "paying my debts" from now on.
** Then Imogen tells Dorian that Cyrus sounded like he wanted to be left alone, leading back to the laughing.
---> '''Marisha:''' Such a departure from, "Are you pooping?"[[note]]a reference to Jester in the second campaign[[/note]]
* Eshteross anxiously tells the group to get rid of Armand Treshi's real ring somehow. F.C.G. offers to eat it while Fearne offers to wear it. As she slips the ring onto her finger, the entire table breaks out into [[RapidFireNo terrified "no's"]]. Eshteross sighs and asks the group to at least not flash that ring out in public.
-->'''Fearne:''' It's for safe-keeping! You put it in your pocket, and there's a hole in your pocket and it could fall out!
* Chetney suggests that he convince the guards that there's someone attacking the Chandei Quorum, and when they go to check, Dorian goes with them to ostensibly use the bathroom because it's in the same direction. Chetney opens the conversation with an elaborate and convincing improvised lie, and Dorian adds a flat "Also, I have to pee."
** Robbie describes Dorian walking to the "potty", which Travis and Laura both snicker at. Robbie replies in singsong "I have children!".
--->'''Robbie:''' I'm sorry—to walk to the PISSER! ''Pisser'', bro!
* While the fight with Lady Emoth is happening, Matt cuts back to the other group with Ashton admitting to Imogen he's really tired and just wants to turn in for the night.
* The two guards are really close to death (and Fearne accidentally set them on fire) leading to the table joking that one of them was gonna be promoted next month. They then dub them "Russ". Sam jokes that F.C.G. looks up on the wall to see Russ made "Guard of the Month".
** F.C.G. comes upon a burnt Russ and decides to use "Sacred Flame" to douse the fire.
--->'''Marisha:''' We killed the NPC we made up!
* F.C.G. attacking Lady Emoth with his Spiritual Weapon, which takes the form of a cordial invitation to an "Ass-Whoopin".
** With his first attack, Sam rolls low, so the invitation [[FailedAttemptAtDrama ineffectually flops against Emoth's chest like a poorly-thrown piece of paper.]] Everyone starts telling Sam to angle the envelope in order to get a paper cut.
* Ashton, who's still low on health and bottlenecked behind the rest of the party due to a bad initiative roll, can't really do much besides activating his rage and holding it. As he rushes into the room to see he missed most of the action, he walks over to the nearly-dead creeper pinned under the bookcase and slams the bookshelf on top of it.
* As everyone is quickly leaving the party, Ashton attempts to swipe a few things before heading out. When Ashton sees one of the hosts, they say, "Great party" and tips them a gold piece before walking out.
* Fearne tries weakly to defend Dorian's decision to bring a fugitive into Eshteross' sanctum with "But...wrongly accused...[[DamningWithFaintPraise we think]]."
* The party's farewell to Dorian, equal parts sad as it is awkwardly hilarious.
** All of the party warning Cyrus to watch himself since he's the reason Dorian has to leave. Laudna sweetly tells Cyrus to never return to the city while Chetney threatens him at chisel-point. Everyone agrees that Cyrus shouldn't really be making any decisions unless Dorian is present.
*** Even funnier as the group remark on Dorian having to leave to take care of family business.
---->'''Ashton:''' To Dorian, who's leaving us for his stupid brother. What the fuck is up with that?
** Dorian bidding farewell to his EXU gang, but not without pointing at himself, Fearne, and Orym and calling them "Big spoon, medium spoon and little spoon". Fearne gently corrects him that ''she's'' the big spoon, and he agrees.
** Dorian asks Chetney how much he'd get selling his toy ship and Chetney sits and [[DeathGlare glares]] at Dorian. He sheepishly says he will treasure it always. Then Robbie reveals that Dorian actually left the ship behind using a Levitation spell. A random kid plucks it out of the air and makes off with it.
** Pâté asks for a hug good-bye which Dorian is almost hesitant to give...before he pulls out his Bertrand doll. He and Laudna then make it look like the two are making out. It only stops when Eshteross comes back into the room and the two stop playing around like children being caught by their parents past bedtime.
** Robbie and Matt get sent into hysterics when Travis jokingly describes the party looking on as Dorian's carriage [[BusCrash explodes in the distance]].
--->'''Chetney:''' Gotcha, motherfucker!
* Fearne asks for the sending stone so she and the others can keep in contact with Dorian. She then keeps using it with the table remarking she was acting like a mother who's sending their kid off to college.
** Imogen even asks Dorian if he can call them everyday. He assures her that definitely ''won't'' be happening, but promises he'll answer their calls if they need him.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 15: The Tunnels Below]]
* Sam's bit at the start of the episode promoting this week's sponsor, Quip, is very...weird, even by Sam's standards. First, he breaks up with his old electric toothbrush with a speech that sounds as if he was breaking up with a girlfriend -- only with toothbrush puns. Then he brushes his teeth with his old toothbrush then acts as if he'd just cheated on his new toothbrush. Then by the end of the bit, he goes off to brush his teeth with his new toothbrush.
-->'''Sam:''' I'll be back in two minutes!\\
'''Travis:''' ''({{beat}})'' It only takes two, huh?
** Sam's old toothbrush also had a piece of string tied to it, with someone at the ready to pull it offscreen when Sam tells it to go.
** Liam later mentions that was the same speech he got from Sam two years ago -- with the Quip discount code included.
* Chetney gifts Ashton his order, a hand with moveable fingers. He initially brings it out with its middle finger up, but changes it to "number one" to cheer Ashton up after being beat up by Ratanash. Orym has one question:
--> '''Orym:''' Is there a practical application for that?\\
'''Ashton:''' If you haven't thought of it you probably don't wanna know.\\
'''Orym:''' I have, I just....
* The group finally decide what to do with Armand's ring: feed it to F.C.G.
** Ashton laments that he hasn't been feeding evidence to F.C.G. all along.
* Laudna asks after the goo the party collected from Dugger. Lord Eschteross has indeed had it looked at -- turns out it's an [[HehHehYouSaidX excretion]] utilized by aberrations to facilitate [[ThatsWhatSheSaid unnatural movement]] through [[AccidentalInnuendo hard tunnels]]. And the rest of the cast breaks into ContagiousLaughter as Matt slowly realizes [[ThatCameOutWrong just what he's saying.]]
-->'''Matt''': ''[laughing]'' I fucking hate you all so much.
* The Green Seekers seek out the group and ask them to talk. It quickly devolves into the group asking if they could join the two, since they were the only members.
-->'''Olly:''' Don't forget the kids we allowed into the group. ''(The whole table awws)''
** Laudna asks if they get pins or badges, while Ashton requests he gets a cloak.
** The Green Seekers ultimately decide to trust them.
--->'''Olly:''' I like to think we can trust you. You've got faces that say... I don't know-\\
'''Chetney:''' Run?\\
'''Laudna:''' ''(SlasherSmile)''\\
'''Olly:''' ...In particular. You haven't been crushed by the cynical realities of the world yet.\\
'''Imogen:''' Oh, well then you're reading us all wrong.
* Gus, the half-orc Green Seeker, explains that they've been contracted to find out "what--and pardon the Marquesian, the fuck is going on around here." [[SirSwearsALot Ashton]] immediately perks up.
-->'''Ashton:''' Oh, I speak Marquesian! Which fucking problem, specifically? Because there's a lot of weird shit going on. So, you actually would have to be a little fucking specific. ''[aside to Orym and Imogen]'' I think I said that right.
* Imogen pokes a chair to see if it'll come to life.
-->'''Matt:''' The dust settles a bit further, but it does not come to life. Though I do appreciate that I've instilled you with a deep fear of furniture.
* The group come across Gus's ex-boyfriend, who was none too happy about them splitting up after ten months of a relationship. F.C.G. tries to act as a therapist while Olly is just happily watching the whole thing go down with Matt describing it like you can see the popcorn in her eyes.
--> '''Laura:''' This is like watching reality tv.
** The whole party are watching the entire conversation go down like it's a tennis match to boot. Liam notes Orym awkwardly drawing on the ground with his sword as he tries to ignore the arguing.
** A bit of BlackComedy: Imogen makes an insight check on Gus's ex, and Matt explains that he's still feeling hurt, as it can be hard to get over someone who burned you. Taliesin nods in an "I feel that" kind of gesture... then looks over to see Liam doing the ''exact same thing'' right next to him, causing both of them to collapse into hysterics.
* Laudna approaches the worker at the mines and rolls a Nat 20 at intimidation. The poor man is so terrified he falls backwards and hits his head, knocking him unconscious. The group make sure to rob him first before having F.C.G. heal him.
* The mine's foreman is reading a book, and the players keep asking Matt more and more details about the book that Matt hasn't prepared.
-->'''Matt:''' It's just a not very well-written fiction piece about people at sea, searching for a new world.
-->'''Laura:''' What's the name of it?
-->'''Matt:''' ... [[ShapedLikeItself The New World Searchers.]]
* The group manage to get everyone to squeeze inside of the elevator, but Orym has his face squished against the wires.
* Fearne of course, takes the opportunity to try and shake the elevator [[RunningGag to freak out Imogen]] or "casually" wonder aloud if they'll fall to their deaths. Laudna tries to drown it out with a motivational speech.
-->'''Laudna:''' You've got this. You're super capable. You're the most capable person I know.\\
'''Ashton:''' [[{{Troll}} What if it breaks down while we're down there and we can't get back up?]]\\
'''Laudna:''' Wh- ''Ashton!''
* The revelation that Fearne, ''a Druid,'' has a negative modifier to Nature skill checks!
* In battle Laudna is doing ''terribly'' and missing all her Eldritch Blast attempts. Her solution? Have '''Paté''' fire them off for her! Even funnier is that ''it works''.
* Ashton angrily yelling at everyone to stop grouping up to attack the Shade Creepers, which explode when killed.
* Sam has some trouble deciding on what healing spell to use after the battle. Laura, naturally, can't resist the vindication:
-->'''Laura:''' C'mon, cleric! Do your job, cleric! Just heal the party, cleric!
* This hilariously meta exchange as Chetney is about to go scouting a dangerous cavern:
--> '''Imogen:''' If you see something troublesome, you come back.
--> '''Chetney:''' Why? Do you care for me?
--> '''Imogen:''' Yeah, Chetney. You're my one true love!
--> '''Chetney:''' Don't tease me! I live for this stuff! All right, we'll meet up topside. ''[singing]'' [[Theatre/ThePhantomOfTheOpera Think of me, think of me fondly...]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 16: The Shade Mother]]
* As Chetney is sneaking in, the Shade Mother starts speaking to him in his mind.
-->'''Chetney:''' ''(to himself)'' That's fucking terri- NO, don't think anything. Think nothing. Balls!\\
'''Shade Mother:''' ''(creepy whisper)'' Are you called... Balls...?\\
'''Chetney:''' ''(corpsing)'' Yes. Mighty Balls.\\
'''Shade Mother:''' Well... Mighty Balls... Have you come for the anointment?\\
''(the whole table starts laughing)''\\
'''Chetney:''' [[ThatCameOutWrong Are you going to anoint my mighty balls?]]
* Worried about what the Shade Mother is going to do, Chetney asks Imogen if she has any spells that could create a "mind condom". Liam recalls Caleb, putting on Caleb's accent to say "Mind Condom is a very high-level spell". Cue the other's asking whose voice that was.
* FCG gets poisoned by the Shade Mother, which allows her to use him to attack one of his allies. FCG doesn't quite understand what's happening to him:
-->'''FCG:''' I need [=NordVPN=]!
* As they're escaping from the Shade Mother, Ashton decides to make a parting shot that leaves the players laughing.
--> '''Ashton:''' Lick salt, fucker!
* After Sam makes a comment about Fearne's "backwards knees", the party tries to school him on the mechanics of unguligrade legs with little success.
* After working with the Greenseekers investigative duo, the party is insistent they get honorary member badges. Eventually, the pair relents and say they will have some sent over. When questioned if they will SAY Greenseekers, Ollie is insistent they will not for plausible deniability, that anyone could make up a Greenseekers badge. "People can make all sorts of [[ShoddyKnockoffProduct off-brand bullshit]] out there[...] What was his name, eh... Emerrett [[{{Pun}} Red Bublé]]? Over there in the Hellcatch valley?"
* Chetney flirtatiously suggests he might have company that night. Ashton snarks that he probably won't, "unless you've hired a nurse to make sure you don't die in the middle of the night".
* After Bell's Hells makes it back to Jrusar, the group starts making numerous sex jokes. At one point, Travis mishears Matt asking "how hurt are you?" with Sam interpreting it as "how ''hard'' are you?". This prompts the entire table to break into ContagiousLaughter. Matt gets so fed up with the sex puns that he literally says "RocksFallEveryoneDies" when he can't take it anymore.
--> '''Matt:''' (''face in hands'') I hate you all so much.
* When Chetney gloats that Fearne was recognizing the alpha, Matt can be seen examining his nails and muttering, "That's not a thing."
* Ashton telling Laudna to go outside and howl to scare some people. When she does just that but sees no one, she yells a "fuck you" at Ashton who has already left.
* Having spent several episodes flirting back and forth, Fearne sets Chetney the challenge to howl at exactly 3 AM, and if he does, she will come to his room and sleep with him. Travis being Travis announces that he slept through the night and woke up feeling all the regret. Made funnier by Ashley telling Matt that Fearne was waiting by his door from 2:59 AM to 3:01 AM. ''Then'' the episode finally comes to an end.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 17: Heart-to-Heartmoor]]
* As they wake up, Matt goes to describe what happened to the bag Laudna had tied down. Marisha looks at him dead in the eyes and challenges him to troll the group again. He doesn't.
* Of course the first thing Chetney does when he wakes up and realizes he missed his nightcap with Fearne? Let out a BigNo. The others wonder if he was actually alive or maybe got someone else to visit him.
--> '''Chetney:''' (''weeping to Laudna'') I slept in...on that ass!!
** Laudna tries to console him and tell him he'd have other chances since people get "horny on the road".
** He tells the party that he was [[BlatantLies out running a 10K]] that morning and lost track of time.
--->'''Chetney:''' Sometimes, you just gotta take care of yourself before the sun comes up.
--->'''Orym:''' Took care of yourself, did you?
* Fearne casually saying she was hoping to someday sleep with the entire party. The table breaks out into laughter as they think that's the first truth Fearne has ever told the group.
* Laudna and Fearne are sent to give Eshteross the recap of what went down with the Shade Mother. They both start getting so sidetracked in retelling their story that Matt describes Eshteross starting to glance back at his half-eaten breakfast.
** While that's happening, Sam turns to the camera and [[BreakingTheFourthWall tells the audience to go get some popcorn]]. It's also a meta joke, as this episode was aired in movie theaters in celebration of the show's seventh anniversary. (Given what happened to them in the previous episode with the Shade Mother's brown "shart", Liam suggests that the audience not get the caramel popcorn.)
** When they ask for cookies for the road, Fearne apparently eats most of the plate, leaving only two cookies left. Eshteross, who wanted to save a few for himself, lets the girls take the rest of the cookies.
---> '''Laudna:''' Can we keep the tray?\\
'''Eshteross:''' [[SuddenlyShouting I want my tray!]] Thank you very much.
* While Eshteross is about to leave, Fearne thanks him and adds in a "We love you". Eshteross pauses for a moment, letting that sentence sink in, shakes his head and continues on.
--> '''Travis:''' (''in his Chetney voice'') Now Eshteross has to die.\\
'''Liam:''' Hey, why limit yourself to the PC characters?
* Chetney reveals that his tattoo stands for "Recognize the Alpha". Matt [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere scoots his chair off screen in exasperation.]] (He also makes a hilarious impression of the :< emoticon.) When he comes back, he has Laura roll a low DC Intelligence check [[AuthorFilibuster in order to lecture the audience]] on the [[ScienceMarchesOn flawed science]] behind the concept of AlphaAndBetaWolves. After finishing his speech, he [[AsideGlance looks straight at the camera]] [[DeathGlare deadpan, as if]] ''[[DeathGlare daring]]'' [[DeathGlare someone to object]].
** As an aside, Matt tells Travis to [[ChronicallyKilledActor get his third character ready]] during this exchange. His response?
---> '''Travis:''' Got him in locked and loaded. (''he and the entire table laugh'') This one lasted much longer than I expected!
*** He then suggests that the next one will be an elven great-grandfather and does an impression of a man one foot in the grave wanting to go on adventures.
* F.C.G. tries to shop for spell components, including a piece of flesh, bone shards, and blood. When he explains that he needs it for spells, the rest of the Hells immediately offer to donate some blood to him.
-->'''F.C.G.:''' You seem a little eager to share your blood with me.\\
'''Ashton:''' It's your shopping list that's making everything weird, everyone else is just trying to be nice.
* Marisha catches Sam trying to draw Fearne on her horse, and the party realizes that he [[CallBack still doesn't know how her legs work.]] It's also revealed that he didn't know that Fearne wears clothes.
-->'''Ashley:''' You didn't look at the art?!?
** Later, when Sam identifies an item that can only be used by sorcerers, he laments that they don't know any and is shocked to learn that TWO party members are sorcerers.
* The party naming their horses:
** Chetney calls his "Loonch", Orym names his "Rabbit", Fearne calls hers [[FormallyNamedPet "Sir Floppers"]], Laudna comes up with [[EdibleThemeNaming "Escargot"]], Imogen calls hers "Music/{{Heart|Band}}", and Ashton calls his "One Way" (since "that's as far as he's gonna get"). [[FailedASpotCheck This leads to the group realizing their problem and yelling, "Why do we have six names for five horses?!"]]
---> '''Matt:''' Roll for initiative!
** When the group realizes they have six names, Orym, who's sharing a horse with Chetney, immediately glares at the old man.
---> '''Orym:''' If you take "Rabbit" from me, I will kill you.
* After Orym manages to snag the shard from the rabbit, he actually licks it and says he knows what rabbit saliva tastes like. Cue Laudna and Ashton trying as well.
* While it was after an incredibly saddening heart to heart between Orym and Laudna, Liam asks Matt to give him one hitpoint of exhaustion because he knew for Orym there was "no fucking way" he was going to sleep after Laudna's story.
* When Imogen and FCG take watch together, they decide to simultaneously cast Detect Thoughts on each other for insight into their conditions. This being Laura and Sam, it doesn't take long for it to devolve into innuendo.
--> '''Laura:''' You want to do it? Oh my gosh, it'll be like--\\
'''Sam:''' Let's do it.\\
'''Laura:''' Okay.\\
'''Sam:''' Let's do it. I'm going to go deep.\\
'''Laura:''' Me, too.\\
'''Sam:''' All the way.\\
'''Laura:''' Hard.\\
'''Sam:''' Deep and hard.\\
'''Laura:''' Deep and hard.\\
'''Sam:''' No one else is awake, right?\\
'''Laura:''' How many attachments you got?\\
'''Sam:''' How many what?\\
'''Laura:''' Never mind. What are you talking about?
* Toward the end of the session, after Marisha already rolled high enough to notice the fairy light in the rainy night, [[TrollingCreator Taliesin teases]] at Ashton getting ready to [[RunningGag open up on more of his backstory]] before noticing Laudna isn't paying attention.
-->'''Ashton:''' I never told anybody this before, but I just wanted to—hey, what the fuck are you looking at?
* The table is curious about the fairy creature, but keep rolling too high to cause anything to happen. Their solution? Have Ashley go and investigate. As she rolls, Sam even chants, "Roll bad!"
** As Laudna and Imogen wake Fearne up and tell her about the fairy, she's more annoyed than interested.
-->'''Fearne:''' What's happening?\\
'''Laudna:''' We think there's a pixie, or a fairy, or a fey...\\
'''Fearne:''' Oh, ''bitches''! No, leave it alone, go back to sleep!
* Matt reveals that the fairy was actually a lure connected to a large plant-like creature, and that's where he decides to end the episode.
--> '''Marisha:''' (''nervously'') ♪ We probably should have left it alone~! ♪
** Matt even comments that nothing would have happened if the party left it alone since they kept rolling too high, and the creature was about to give up. A couple of them refer to it as a button they have to push.
---> '''Matt:''' I rely on the button pushing.
** Ashton's closer inspection reveals that from up close, the lure only vaguely resembles a humanoid fairy.
--->'''Liam:''' I like that, with a closer look, it had all the fine detail of a gummy bear.\\
'''Taliesin:''' I would wander into a forest for a flying gummy bear! Fuck yes!
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 18: A Hungry Jungle]]
* Taliesin's bad luck with Ashton continues as Ashton not only gets eaten by the lure-plant, he's also being slowly digested in its stomach.
--> '''Taliesin:''' (''in a small voice'') Help.\\
'''Travis:''' [[CallBack It's again]]?\\
'''Taliesin:''' It's [[SirSwearsALot fucking]] again. Help.
* Laudna helpfully summarizes the situation for F.C.G.
-->'''Laudna:''' It just ''ate'' and then ''shat out'' Ashton! Its metabolism is off the fucking charts!
* Laudna gets knocked out but manages to come back. Her reaction is a shocked and slightly annoyed, "I died ''again''?!"
* When the Plant Monster goes to take two legendary actions, the cast goes nuts over the fact that a creature like this can make one much less two. This was emphasized by Sam calling time out. Matt then took the time to explain that it was their fault because it was one creature vs 7 player characters.
* Wanting to take a piece of piece of pre-Calamity ruin with her, Imogen asks Laudna if she could borrow her hair (Laura actually meant the rock hammer tied to Laudna's hair), [[ExactWords and Laudna rips out a piece of her hair for her]].
* Imogen somehow gets turned blue due to triggering a Wild Magic Surge while using the Feywild Shard. When the party makes it to Heartmoor Hamlet the following evening, the guards eye her suspiciously, and the party needs to hastily lie that she wandered off the trail and got into a NoodleIncident.
* A Firbolg has trouble taking off his bracelet. Fearne offers to help.
-->'''Liam:''' Orym is trying to catch Fearne's eyes, and is silently trying to communicate, "Please don't steal anything."\\
'''Ashley:''' (as Fearne, with a smile) Let me help you.\\
'''Laura:''' In Fearne's head, you hear, "Please don't steal anything."
* An NPC talking about jewelry refers to "uncut gems" as "uncut jams," causing everyone to corpse. It was a reference to a viral video of actress Julia Fox mispronouncing the title of [[Film/UncutGems her movie]].
-->'''Marisha:''' We just officially dated this episode.\\
'''Liam:''' Some jokes stand the test of time.\\
'''Taliesen:''' Not this one.
* As the group are investigating some plants, Matt asks for the table to make a history check. Reminder, Fearne has a negative stat for nature, which means no one really has any skills for nature.
* Sam sneezes, and while everybody else is saying "Bless you" and "Gesundheit," Ashley instead tells Sam, "Stop it," prompting everyone else to burst into laughter.
-->'''Travis:''' We're going to get to a live show one day, somebody's going to sneeze and the whole place is going to go,\\
'''Travis and Marisha:''' (simultaneously) '''STOP IT.'''\\
'''Matt:''' I hope so.
* The topic of Whitestone Andy comes up, and if Laudna's seen him since she died.
-->'''Liam:''' [[BlackComedy Yeah, he was on the next rope over]].
-->'''Laura:''' ''(smacking Liam on the shoulder)'' [[DudeNotFunny Fucking terrible!]]
* So, what does Sam have written on his gas can this time? Exandria themed pseudoscience "facts", possibly inspired by the AlphaAndBetaWolves [[ScienceMarchesOn incident]] last session.
** FACTS:
*** Exandria is '''flat'''.
*** [[ContinuityNod Satyr knees]] are '''backwards'''.
*** '''RUIDUS = 5G'''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 19: Omens Above]]
* During the ad read for Thorum wedding rings, Sam prepared a skit reenacting the night that Travis proposed to Laura back in 2010. Travis and Laura weren't allowed to read the ad copy beforehand; the skit is instead [[CrosscastRole Ashley as Travis and Liam as Laura]] in a skit loaded to the brim with period references to 2010 and hilarious dramatic irony regarding the direction that their careers would take over the following decade.
* Estani offers the party some drinks, letting them choose between water, tea, and lime juice. When the party tells him to surprise them, he brings out several mugs with a hot water and lime juice mixture. It's surprisingly good when combined with the cookies, though Taliesin/Ashton does pull the faces you would expect from someone with a mouth full of lime juice.
-->'''Ashton:''' ''(slurring)'' My tongue is numb.
* The party are trying to estimate the depthness of this odd pot with Ashton growling at Orym over losing the rope. Cue F.C.G. adding in that they could have used [[BrickJoke the coin]] too.
* At a toy store, Imogen and Ashton find a CreepyDoll. They add the doll to their list of purchases, and present it to a delighted Laudna. She names her Sashimi. Imogen mentions that she thought Pate could use a girlfriend, and sure enough the dolls seem to hit it off.
** Chetney sulks about the whole thing because another doll was ''his'' planned gift for Laudna. He mutters that he has to make a dollhouse now. Cue Travis angrily crossing out something in his notebook.
** Afterwards as Laudna walks away with Sashimi and Pate, she has Pate grabs Sashimi's ass. Cue the table joking that Pate went in "instant heat".
--> '''Imogen:''' I'm going to start regretting this purchase.\\
'''Ashton:''' I'm not.\\
'''Imogen:''' You're not the one who'll be sleeping next to it!\\
'''Ashton:''' (''cheerfully'') Nope.
* Laura accidentally references Imogen needing glasses, prompting general laughter and Matt asking if she's finally giving in to the power of fanart (which frequently depicts Imogen with glasses despite her not having any in the official character art).
--> '''Matt:''' The sheer force of fandom!
* Ashton and Imogen show off the music jack box they purchased to Chetney, who's not entirely pleased. As he winds it up, he mutters at how the metal handle on the box was going to slowly poison him. Then Ashton screams to scare Chetney, leading Chetney to yell at the other and then pause, pretending his heart was giving out.
** Following that, he makes suggestive eyes at Fearne that the should do it since he's already so old, but she suggests they not test his heart anymore.
--> '''Chetney:''' It's called conditioning!!
* Liam's description of how Orym sleeps: He gets on the bed, ''circles three times like a dog,'' and curls up "in a little pill-bug ball" behind Fearne's knees.
* When shopping for supplies, the group come upon a the seller offering limes. They decide to buy a small bunch of it.
** This comes up later as the party attempts to convince a tavernkeeper to "keep quiet about them" after failing to get any information from him about a rival adventuring party. After offering a comically small 1 GP bribe to the tavern keeper, Laudna offers to "sweeten the deal" with...a lime. After an excellent Persuasion check, it even works!
** As they look for caltrops and other times, Ashton comments, "I love a choking hazard".
* Laudna's idea for how to ease Imogen's mind after her nightmare: Have Pate and his new [[CreepyDoll girlfriend]] Sashimi perform a burlesque routine for her.
* Matt briefly misplaced his notes on the Verdict, causing him to have to hem and haw while searching for their team name.
--> '''Laura:''' They had trouble thinking of a name too, huh?
--> '''Matt, IC:''' "We call ourselves the...ah...."
--> '''Taliesin:''' ''Focus Group!''
--> '''Laura:''' ''Ain't easy, is it?!''
** This leads to a bit of meta humour when the episode is released on [=YouTube=]. The episode was released without a title, and stayed up for a few hours before being updated with "Omens Above".
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 20: Breaking and Entering...]]
* The heist begins and shenanigans ensue, with Ashton grabbing the rope of their rival team and shaking it so they fall off. When the goblin attempts to charm him, he manages to not be affected.
--> '''Ashton:''' I don't make friends!
** Then as Ashton helps him up, he quickly kicks Ashton [[GroinAttack in the groin]].
--> '''Marisha:''' Why did you help him??\\
'''Taliesin:''' I thought he'd be cool!
* There are portraits of Lord Hytroga where it looks like he's a tourist cheerfully posing in different areas.
* As Chetney trails the other two, he quickly jumps off the rope so the goblin below him wouldn't realize he was there. Cue the goblin and his partner blaming the other for moving the rope moving around.
** As he continues his stealth mission, the table breaks out singing the Mission Impossible theme, with them adding in "Pock-o-pea" for flourish.
* The two hear the Bell's Hells below and talk about "that creepy one". Cue Laudna below suddenly smiling and priming at the ceiling for some reason.
* Chetney follows the separated rival party members who enter a bedroom and find a hidden button. Turns out it just opens up a hidden mirror on the canopy of the bed. The rival team look at each other for a beat before hitting the button again to close it up. The goblin in the group [[ActuallyPrettyFunny actually chuckles at it]] before his partner snaps at him to return to the burglary.
** The two end up entering a room where some dark goo grabs them from the ceiling and sticks them up there. They try to use their hands to get rid of the goo, only to make their hands stick to their chest.
--> '''Goblin:''' (''Beat'') That's your fault.
** Then when Chetney hears F.C.G.'s voice, he hesitates for a moment, looks up at the two arguing and flips them off before skedaddling away.
* After hearing F.C.G. call him, Chetney descends a staircase where he slips onto some ball bearings and gets zapped by armor. Cut back to: Earlier, the main group discovered the armor trap, disarmed then re-armed it, and Laudna created the ball bearing trap as well hoping to catch the opposition with both/either.
* The first door the Hells open is trapped, and everyone but Chetney is webbed to the floor. Chetney's plan to get them out is to piss Ashton off enough to trigger a rage.
-->'''Chetney:''' Hey. I'm gonna need you to get outta this. ''Bitch.'' ''(slaps Ashton across the face)''
** Ashton then rips the others out of the webs, while shouting at Chetney to keep slapping them to keep the rage going.
** While still raging, Ashton tries to break the door down with a Reckless attack.
--->'''Taliesin:''' So if the door attacks me, it has advantage.\\
'''Matt:''' You laugh, but for three campaigns, it's still your biggest enemy.
* The group fall into a trap where they trigger an illusion to make it seem like they're falling. Fearne and the others continuously scream while F.C.G. flails around. He even shoots out his hook and accidentally spears Imogen on it.
--> '''Imogen:''' (''in F.C.G.'s head'') What the ''fuck'' are you doing?!
** Imogen casts Calm Emotions. This stops the screaming (though not for Fearne and F.C.G., who saved), but doesn't dispel the illusion, meaning the others think they are now ''very calmly'' falling down a bottomless pit.
--->'''Ashton:''' I should not be okay with this.
** How does the group escape the trap? Most of the party end up [[GetAHoldOfYourselfMan slapping one another]]. Ashton doesn't do it as he doesn't trust himself to "hit soft" enough.
* The next trap they trigger is them facing marionettes that laugh, causing most of the other party to devolve into uncontrollable fits of laughter. The group continue to fail their saving throws, and when they leave, Imogen is still the only one laughing.
--> '''Laudna:''' (''in confused laughter'') I don't get the joke!!
* During the above fight while Laura was rolling she put down a ring pop she was enjoying. Liam seeing it, casually took it, a Nat 20 in all but name, because no one even saw it cause they were dealing with the puppets. When Laura looked for it again, she panicked that she accidentally put a licked ring pop in an area that could get messy.
* Chetney checks a door and finds no traps. He unlocks it and steps inside, cue him failing a dexterity check and falling into a pit like a Looney Tunes cartoon. Travis also lets out an overly long scream as Chetney falls.
* Matt points out to the party that all of the plaques for Lord Hytroga's exhibits end with ellipsis, [[MeaninglessMeaningfulWords he seems to think it makes them sound more profound and mysterious.]] As a meta BrickJoke, not only does Matt end the episode on a CliffHanger, the episode's title also ends with an ellipsis.
--> '''Sam:''' You mean, you're ending the whole episode with a dot-dot-dot?
--> '''Matt:''' I believe I am, Sam.
--> '''Taliesin:''' Or is he...?
** Earlier on, Ashton makes this comment:
--> '''Ashton:''' So this place is just full of stuff that he doesn't understand?
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 21: Fight at the Museum...]]
* Sam's gas board shows off a new spell called "Yassify", with different pictures of the table members yassified. Most of the group were more horrified at Sam's creations than they were impressed.
** Marisha is especially impressed with what the app did to her cleavage, but Sam says that it only changes the face.
--->'''Laura:''' You got some good tots.
--->'''Matt:''' [[HappilyMarried I ain't]] [[AllMenArePerverts complaining.]]
** Cue a bit of MoodWhiplash as Matt notes that the party has now leveled up.
** When Matt sees his yassified portrait, along with a tired sigh has this to say:
---> '''Matt:''' That is a man who has not been working 70 hours a week for seven years.
* The gang has one door un-opened on the other side of the room, and the team is split between exploring the final room of the museum or escaping from the fight with the clay golems. After they decide to run away, Ashton finds that the other team has found [[HoistByHisOwnPetard Bell's Hells' own immovable rod and blocked the door they entered through,]] meaning they have to cross the room with the golems and open the mystery door anyway.
* Rewatch bonus: Marisha, Sam, and Laura have a nearly inaudible conversation about how to hide the earring from the other team. Laura suggests hiding it in Imogen’s vagina.
--> '''Sam:''' Matt, we... we need to know how to roll for...
* When the golems go after Fearne, Laura mentions they shouldn't kill her because Ashley wasn't there due to COVID. Matt is appalled at that insinuation; Sam meanwhile suggests they shut off their phones. All of this gets doubly funny when Marisha makes the Nat 20 on the Grapple check and also dodges two attacks.
* Liam using Orym's Halfling ability to get under Fearne's and Ashton's legs counts as awesome and funny. Its funny because Matt was trying to explain that the ability would only work with a good roll, only for Liam to cut him off with a Nat 20 Acrobatics check, which was a 28 total. Matt's Stunned expression adds to it.
* Imogen gets one that Triples as Awesome and Nightmare Fuel. The funny part was that after they planned to ambush the Verdict, she gently pressed one of the pressure switches after the Verdict were careful to not touch the switches which lead to the comedic screaming by Matt. She did it twice more, to more screams and laughter by the chat. The awesome part was that they took down the group without fighting. The nightmare fuel is the fact they could have lead to them burning alive. Which leads to the moment where they stabilize the other group in Heartwarming.
** Taliesin, in a tone of awestruck horror, refers to systematically roasting the Verdict alive as Bell's Hells going "[[NeverLiveItDown full Keyleth]]".
* Ashton is so pissed off at being tricked that he tells the Bell's Hells he wants to steal more from Hydroga, offering his room as one of their ransacking options. When asked what he'd want to steal, Ashton initially says he wants to take the coat off of Hydroga, saying he'll give it to him. The group end up snagging a book and some papers.
* When they see Hydroga waiting for them, he tells them he doesn't like loose ends and orders his guards to kill them.
--> '''Hydroga:''' (''Beat'') [[JustJokingJustification Just kidding]]!
* As they make it out, Hydroga asks for the item they were supposed to steal. Cue F.C.G. hacking up the bag like a cat and handing it to Laudna.
* Hydroga tells the Bell's Hells they'll have a reward and basically takes a photo of the group and framing it. He tells them it's to show off that they were the first group to ever rob his museum. However, given the current state of the party being ragged, burnt and bleeding, that likely just added more salt to the wound.
* When the group ask about the other stuff they didn't see, Hydroga suggests they come back during the usual hours for a tour. He adds that they'd have to pay for it of course, which they object to.
--> '''Hydroga:''' I'm running a business here!
* Chetney finally reverts back to his gnome form and sighs in relief. When asked if shifting is painful for him, he say's it's just an "[[DoubleEntendre in and out]]" motion. Cue the table holding back some giggles.
--> '''Chetney:''' Get your head straight!
* Chetney finally confronting the lady at the toy shop, and the group finds out she's not on good terms with Oltgar either. The two have a stare down and Chetney eventually backs off. It's only when they're leaving does he show how terrified he actually was, as Orym awkwardly drags him along.
* Estani approaches Orym and Chetney to talk to them under the guise of feeding the birds. However, every time he throws a piece of bread, Chetney picks it up and tries to hand it back to him. When he and Orym are about to leave, he grabs a piece off the ground, eats it, then immediately spits it back out.
* Laudna offers F.C.G. some ball bearings after Chetney asks if they're hungry. F.C.G. eats them right out of her hand like a horse, then starts wiggling back and forth to hear them rattle around inside their metal body. Matt interjects to tell them they have disadvantage on Stealth checks for the rest of the day.
* When they get back to Jrusar, the Hells sell their horses back to their original stable. Travis and Taliesin feel so weird about the fact that they managed to keep them all alive that they debate killing one just to make things right.
** They also have a conversation with FCG about whether or not horses have souls, as he believes they don't. A horse then promptly takes a dump on him.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 22: Promise and Potential]]
* For this week's ad, Sam debuts a new character: lounge singer Ludo [=McGillicuddy=], who sings the praises of Quip toothbrushes, implies that Matt has bad breath while standing beside/behind Matt, and keeps getting [[AccidentalMisnaming Matt's name wrong,]] [[note]]Mark, Max, Myron, Marco, Maverick, Mewtwo[[/note]] while singing public domain versions of oldies. Matt is unamused.
-->'''Matt:''' Wrap it up, Riegel...(''later'') I need to burn this shirt now.
** Sam's costume? A gold bathrobe, and [[CarpetOfVirility no shirt underneath.]]
* Ashton telling Fearne not to steal anything from Jiana Hexum as a suggestion, but if she ''wanted'' to steal something, she had better not get caught. Fearne ends up trying to nab a bust of a statue with Ashton helping her out by carrying it out themselves.
* Chetney's back to his CasanovaWannabe ways when he declares (within earshot of Fearne) his bed is open to anyone. Ashton [[TheGadfly immediately takes him up on the offer]] as he basically body slams himself on top of Chetney. As Chetney is being crushed beneath Ashton, the earth genasi casually comments on how he rolls around in his sleep and he snores.
** Adding insult to injury, Matt describes that, as a carpenter, Chetney can hear the sound of load-bearing wood beginning to crack under Ashton's weight. He decides to sleep on the floor.
* F.C.G. decides that they will stare at Imogen while she sleeps. He adds that it wasn't in a "creepy way".
** Mirroring this, Fearne decides to stare at Ashton during her watch, emphasizing that it is ''absolutely'' in a creepy way. She spends a large portion of her watch messing around with the glass patch on Ashton's head, running her fingers across it to see the way it sparkles and fogging it up so she can draw a smiley face on it. Ashton remains dead asleep for all of this.
* During a discussion of their impending payment, Imogen points out that Chetney has a lot of money, which he defends by claiming to have earned it selling his toys. The Hells seem dubious.
-->'''Chetney:''' ''(defensively)'' Do you know a lot of people that make wooden toys of an expert nature? I don't think so!\\
'''F.C.G.:''' [[InstantlyProvenWrong We've met several, just in the last week and a half.]]
* Matt's slightly awkward emphasis on a certain word makes the group think that Etheross's retainer, Evelyn, is Christian.
-->'''Evelyn:''' I'm just looking out to make sure you weren't followed. General protocal for ''the lord''.
--> ''*Laura makes a prayer motion*''
-->'''Matt:''' Not [[Literature/TheBible "The Lord".]]
* When the group reports to Estheross and their unique personalities show, the older man is reminded how eccentric they all are.
* The party receive a letter from Vex'ahlia de Rolo. [[ActingForTwo They ask Imogen to read it.]] Cue a spectacular scene of professional actors trolling each other. Laura eventually gives up and reads the letter in Vex's voice despite the fact Imogen has never met her.
--> '''Orym:''' How are you at voices?\\
'''Imogen:''' I don't know, we'll find out.
* Eshteross deciding to bake is treated as SeriousBusiness.
--> '''Eshteross:''' Evelyn.\\
'''Evelyn:''' Yes?\\
'''Eshteross:''' Go to the market. Get me my supplies. Tonight...I bake.
* After many complaints from Travis in previous episodes that from his viewing angle he never gets a good look at Sam's flask, this week it displays a message to Ashley, Laura, Liam, and Talisen telling them to laugh and pretend that Travis is missing out on the joke. Predictably, Travis is quite upset when the other table starts laughing at it.
* The Hells start discussing how to deal with Chetney losing control of his wolf form. The conversation that follows is so laden with sexual innuendo, specifically surrounding edging, that everyone is in stitches by the end of it. The suggestion that Chetney should start thinking about baseball if he ever reaches the edge of that desire causes Liam to start choking on his own spit.
-->'''F.C.G.:''' Well, [[CrossesTheLineTwice I'm glad we had this conversation at this school for children]].\\
'''Ashton:''' You've said a ''lot'' of inappropriate things in front of kids this last couple of hours.\\
'''Matt:''' The door is open and there's a small child--\\
'''Liam:''' [[NoJustNoReaction No, no, no]], that is a dwarf who's 400 years old.
* Marwa apparently got a new friend while the Hells were away, a pet rat she named "Jay". Laudna sounds like she would have combusted out of pure happiness.
* Marwa apparently had bargained for a few things since the group last met. Each one more suspicious sounding than the last. It doesn't help how she constantly remarks that some of these items may contain dead bodies.
** She pulls out a whistle that works by blowing into it and thinking of a person, so only they can hear it.
--> '''Marwa:''' (''grinning'') Perfect for annoying neighbors.
** The next item is a bleeding apron. Yes, an apron that bleeds. She's not as enthused on this object as she had tried to clean it previously, but it just kept bleeding. After she receives her croissant Marwa hasn't noticed her hands had blood all over them. As she bites into the croissant, she notes with faint curiosity about the new flavor. Throughout her discussion with the Hells they even notice rubbing her hand around her face, leaving red streaks behind, and her left none the wiser.
*** The party isn't entirely sure what they would want of need the apron for, with Imogen attempting prestidigitation it in hopes of it not ruining Ashton's clothes. They end up adding that onto their shopping cart.
** Then Marwa pulls out her next object:
--> '''Marwa:''' A hole.\\
'''The party:''' (''beat'') What?
* Fearne, of course, is the one who decides to jump into the hole with everyone on the other end panicking for her. As Marwa demonstrates she can take the hole away, it leads to the Hells panicking more and yelling at her to put the hole back.
** After being told that while in the hole she can see them but they can't see her, Ashley silently mimics Fearne flashing the rest of the group. Appropriately, no one notices.
** Orym noting how despite the possible dangers of the hole, it would've been helpful to have when they nabbed that statue bust.
* Marwa's decision on giving the Hell's a discount? Just so long as they did not mention they were from her, or how they were possibly murder weapons, they could buy the items at a discount.
* Laudna likes Marwa and keeps trying to make friends, but Marwa either doesn’t feel the same way or is too socially inept to notice. Laudna’s heartbreak when Marwa doesn’t have an orange slice for her is hilariously tragic.
--> '''Laudna:''' (''quietly'') But I brought you a pastry...

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 23: To The Skies]]
* [=NordVPN=] is the sponsor again, but instead of a new sketch, Matt is given a VHS tape that's just a copy of one of the past episodes, but from Ashley's point of view, with all her InternalMonologue heard loud and clear - leading to the disturbing reveal that "Setty" had possessed her the whole time.
* The first thing Bells Hells does is spend a gratuitous amount of time testing the Portable Hole and all its properties. [[BrickJoke Turns out it CAN act as a murder weapon]] - not only is it an airtight space when not in use, it could also PortalCut. Not to be deterred, the Hells immediately start decorating the inside of it so it can function as a living space.
-->'''Travis:''' Xhorhaus to this.\\
'''Laura:''' ''(mock-excited)'' Look, we have a ''hole!''\\
'''Marisha:''' Caleb's magnificent tower to...\\
'''Sam:''' Bells' Hole!
** Ashton does have some reservations about it.
--->'''Ashton:''' Sleeping in a thing where if someone picks it up and closes it we will all slowly suffocate and die is...\\
'''Orym:''' We're gonna post guards outside of it.\\
'''Ashton:''' I mean, I'm not gonna say I haven't done ''dumber'' shit in my life, but that's--\\
'''Orym:''' [Chetney]'s got the horn!\\
'''Ashton:''' [[RunningGag He's gonna die on his own though! Like, any night!]]
* Chetney goes back to antagonize the woman who sold him his chisels [[DisproportionateRetribution for not selling her wares at a fair price]]. He does this by sneaking into her store, turning into his werewolf form and terrifying her, as well as slashing her shoulder. You can just see Travis chewing the scenery as Chetney is in werewolf form, warning the woman to keep her wares at a fair price. Then as he prepares to leave, Chetney makes a run for the door with Laura joking how funny it would be if Chetney [[TemptingFate didn't roll high enough to break through the door]]. Chetney rolls a seven. After charging at the door, [[MomentKiller Chetney bounces off it with a yelp, ruining his dramatic exit]]. He awkwardly shakes it off and turns back to ask for the key to the door.
* Chetney gives Orym his gift, a beautiful carved wooden box with a big moon and a little moon on the lid. Before that though, he shows off his first gift (a moon-shaped bowl), but declares it to be dogshit and throws it away. Once Imogen shows interest in the bowl, Chetney loudly insults it more... at which point Matt butts in to say that the conversation is all in character, and Travis should say some nice things about the person whose Etsy page he got the bowl from.
* As the Bell's Hells arrive at the ship, they're warned that the ship doesn't tolerate bullshit and they ''have'' thrown people off of the ship before. Fearne asks how many and they reply twenty people. Orym makes an insight check and the captain breaks out into laughter saying [[JustJokingJustification they were just kidding]].
** Captain Xandis has a very... distinctive accent.
--->'''Sam:''' [[Film/TheRoom2003 Oh hi Mark]]!
** The crewmate and the captain keep pulling the Hells legs as they make up stories and jokes [[BecauseItAmusedMe just to mess with them]].
* The chef awkwardly comes out to greet the group and then immediately runs back to the kitchen.
* After Orym is saved by Imogen flying off the ship, he's left awkwardly giggling once they touch down back on the ship. After thanking Laudna and Imogen, he staggers off to the side and promptly throws up.
* Chetney tries to leap down from the top deck, over the main brumestone chunk, to the quarter deck. However, he rolls terribly on his acrobatics check, and slips backwards off the brumestone and falls into some barrels. Afterwards, as the Hells are asking eachother about the new powers they seem to have developed (Laudna's Silvery Barbs spell, Imogen's flight, and Ashton's ability to summon portals), F.C.G. asks Chetney about his magnetic attraction to barrels.
* The group discuss Imogen's new flight ability and theorize that she just needed a strong trigger to activate it. Cue Ashton commenting that Imogen probably could've unlocked this skill earlier if they had dropped her from one of the gondolas.
* After a heartwarming conversation about Imogen's dreaming, FCG starts to talk about Exandria being flat. Imogen tries unsuccessfully to persuade him before they agree to talk to a scientist.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 24: The Hellcatch Valley]]
* During one of the promos, Matt accidentally reads the word "Aurora" as "Ayrara". ''Twice.'' The table breaks down.
* In order to alert the caravan below, Chetney attempts to blow the horn they got. Matt describes the sound and notes that Chetney may have gotten ripped off.
--> '''Chetney:''' Another name to add onto the list...
* After the stone incident, Laudna awkwardly tries to apologize to Imogen. She cuts her off with a curt "[[BluntNo no]]", which leave Laudna to awkwardly hang around with nothing else to say.
* A Dex Save throw for Chetney and Ashton results in Ashton getting pierced by harpoons. He casually shrugs it off.
** Later on he even lampshades it when the group seems to have forgotten that he's currently impaled.
--> '''Ashton:''' It's okay, I didn't want to interrupt anything.
* When they get off the ship, Fearne successfully steals a spyglass with a nat 20. The chat was already groaning at the idea.
* Sam reveals his gas can art: a chart that predicts Imogen’s BBEG with the moon and Laudna as one of the options. To everyone's surprise, Laura and Taliesin [[OverlyPreparedGag start throwing magnetic darts at it.]] Matt just groans at the absurdity.
** The first time Sam reveals the gas can, Marisha actually doesn't get a good look at it, the next time he takes a sip, when a majority of the darts have landed on Laudna's name does Sam show her.
-->'''Marisha:''' Noo! Why is my name on there ''(tries to move them of Laudna's name)''
-->'''Sam:''' You know why bitch!
* When discussing where Treshi could be hiding, Ashton tries to figure out which inns he knows about in the southern half of Bassuras. Matt smugly tells him he knows of one place in the South Dregs, and Ashton seems ''ridiculously'' embarrassed by it, hardly even daring to bring it up to the group. Turns out it's a shitty theme restaurant called "A Taste Of Tal'Dorei".
-->'''Ashton:''' It's been a while, but I remember being just embarrassed for even being myself every time I went in there. [...] There are things I will answer about this place, there are things that I want to keep secret that I will let you know about what they are. This is one thing that I don't think I could describe accurately.
** The rest of the Hells immediately assume Ashton is embarrassed because he used to work there, even though he vehemently denies it, and try to guess what his job was. Laudna excitedly asks him [[CallBack if he was a cliff-diver]].
* F.C.G. uses Command on a gnoll to make it "Monologue". Then it's conveniently restrained by vines. By the time its turn comes up, there's literally nothing it can do but lament its fate... [[CrossesTheLineTwice which draws applause.]]
* As the episode aired live, Erika Ishii tweeted several tweets (and an Instagram story) that consisted of gremlin-like “hehehehe” laughing, and claimed that “they suspect nothing”. This was retweeted and followed up by Matt with similar laughter. Then, onstream, the chat and cast erupts in delight as Matt invites Erika to join the table, and viewers at home realized what the laughter was for.
* During the fight, Imogen proceeds to use wild magic and Matt asking Laura to roll for an effect. Cue Imogen losing all of her hair with Matt commenting Imogen was like a cue ball.
--> '''Laudna:''' It's not bad! It happens to me all the time, ''look''!! (''pulls out her hair from her scalp'')
** Laura screaming in horror, "I ''Fjorded'' myself?!"
** Chetney is kind enough to toss his cap over to Imogen who immediately pulls the cap tight over her now bald head. Once the battle is over, Fearne tries to salvage Imogen's hair into a wig.
* Laudna goes up to the last bandit who's wearing metal armor and proceeds to do Shocking Hands on him. Matt informs Marisha this is a HDYWTDT, but Laudna is too tired to even care.
--> '''Laudna:''' Just.... It's been a real shit day. (''zaps the guy'')
* Dusk apologizing for not being of much use and saying they were usually more capable in battle. Matt asks for an athletics for them to get down from the building, and Dusk then [[ImmediateSelfContradiction falls ten feet from the building]] after a low roll.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 25: A Taste of Tal'Dorei]]
* The merch update includes a shirt for the First Knight of Avalir...which wasn't ready at the time of the recording, which leads to Laura miming holding a shirt up while a graphic cutout of it floats in front of her and everyone acts impressed. Sam tells her to flip it upside down and Ashley asks to try it on, which only makes makes the warping of the image more obvious.
* Matt's recap is a little slap-happy as he forgets Dorian's name and calls him "that one", tries to channel Brennan's ambience of the past month by declaring "Fire" before bursting into giggles, and jokingly saying he needs to throw in the towel.
* The Taste of Tal'Dorei is as cheesy as one would hope, with Dusk cheering during the performance. The patrons who have visited frequently can only roll their eyes and keep to their meals. The [[LargeHam hammy acting]] in particular has to be seen to be believed.
** Ashton eventually begins to warm up to the place, and begrudgingly admits that he did kind of miss it. Orym is... less enthused.
--->'''Orym:''' ''(hands Dusk's sword back)'' Take this back before I kill myself.
* Laudna suggests Imogen could use her psychic powers to help Dusk and Fearne find Fearne's parents. FCG tries to pipe up that he can do the same things, and Laudna keeps shutting him down.
-->'''Lauda:''' Imogen is very gifted, ''very'' capable at peering into one's minds and thoughts and -\\
'''FCG:''' I mean I'm no slouch either, but -\\
'''Laudna:''' And Fresh Cut Grass too. But ''Imogen'' -\\
'''FCG:''' I mean I'm equally as gifted -\\
'''Laudna:''' is just so talented (and he's also here)!
** Sam trolls Laura when Imogen is showing her powers to Dusk. She gets so fed up at one point she ''tosses'' her pen at Sam.
-->'''Sam:''' We can tell she's talking to someone in her mind because her eyes cross.\\
'''Laura:''' Alright. Alright, no.\\
'''Sam:''' That's canonically what happens.\\
'''Laura:''' You do not have a flesh tongue and I do not cross my eyes!
* Fearne bargains for the music box on the ceiling, in exchange for a chipped tea cup she "bought" that has Vex's visage on it.
** Then she asks Chetney to carve the names of her parents onto the box. Cue Chetney occasionally asking her how their names were spelled, and cursing when Fearne informs him they're spelled with "ie" and not "y".
--> '''Dusk:''' Why is there an "X" in their name?\\
'''Chetney:''' It builds character!!
* Laudna ventures into the gift shop with FCG to discuss her falling out with Imogen a few episodes ago. After getting advice from him, she still panics and wonders if she should get Imogen gifts too.
-->'''Laudna:''' Which one of these wooden swords do you think she'd want?\\
'''FCG:''' She doesn't strike me as a replica sword -\\
'''Laudna:''' What about this oven mitt?\\
'''FCG:''' An oven mitt? Everyone can use that.\\
'''Laudna:''' It could hide her hands or keep them warm...\\
'''FCG:''' Does she cook?\\
'''Laudna:''' Nnn I don't think so.\\
'''FCG:''' Well it's still nice. It says "T.o.T." on it.\\
'''Laudna:''' What do you think that means?\\
'''FCG:'''...[[CaptainObvious Taste of Tal'Dorei]].\\
'''Laudna:''' Oh right.\\
'''FCG:''' It says "T.o.T. Holder" right there.
** While this is happening, Imogen has a similar conversation about her feelings with Orym in their heads, which involves plenty of her shouting and then apologizing and complaining about her lack of hair. And the face journey Marisha has during this is ''delightful''. Aside from placing her book on her head and shrinking in her chair, she starts building a barrier.
** Orym later picks Imogen up a t-shirt that says "Whitestone is for Lovers", which is hilarious because a) Laura's past character Vex now lives there and b) Laudna used to live there. Laudna basically spirals for the rest of the episode because she thinks she bought Imogen the wrong apology gifts.
* Chetney gifts Fearne the music box and she asks him how she can repay him. Chetney pauses for a bit before saying they could hash out the details later.
* F.C.G. expresses his desire to be able to experience the world as the rest of the party such as [[BreadEggsMilkSquick smelling, tasting, dreaming, and farting.]] The party does agree that farting is magical, and anyone who says they don't like it is lying.
* The Hells forget General Ratanish's name, and decide to just call him variations of "the guy who kicked Ashton's ass". Every time this happens, Ashton grumbles under his breath that it was a close call, and that he could definitely have beaten him.
* Fearne decides to do a solo mission on her own.
--> '''Imogen:''' I don't see how going on your own would cause any problem.
* Ashley has Fearne take the form of a quokka, but learning from last time, asks Matt if she would turn back into her fawn form if she were to take damage. He confirms it.
** Imogen and Dusk go full CutenessProximity when Fearne approaches them as a quokka. Imogen coos over her for a solid minute before remembering what she was supposed to be doing, and Dusk is completely frozen with an expression of shocked awe across their face.
--->'''Matt:''' Dusk.exe has stopped working.
** Marisha tries to google whether or not quokkas burrow. She doesn't find that answer, but she ''does'' learn that quokkas defend themselves against predators by ''throwing their babies at them.''[[note]]Quokkas will only do this in instances of extremely high stress, which is unlikely to happen in their natural habitat as they do not have any natural predators.[[/note]]
** The guards catch Fearne, but with how adorable she looks as a quokka, they [[CutenessProximity immediately coo over her]]. The soldier who finds her claims Fearne as her own. On name suggestions, one says to call Fearne "Killer", while the guard who found her decides on calling her "Fuzz Bottom".
** At the meta level, the guys even predict that Google searches for "quokka" are about to shoot up. [[https://trends.google.com/trends/explore?q=quokka The numbers don't lie.]]
* Matt has a character named [[UnfortunateNames Mick Hunts]] being called over. However, when Matt says it aloud, it sounds like "Mike Hunt," and it causes everyone to burst out laughing. Matt seethes and says it was spelled differently in his head.
--> '''Matt:''' All NPC's are now named David.
** Then he integrates it in-universe; at his name being yelled out, the NPC glowers at all his snickering comrades and frustratedly shouts out, "Just call me Mick!"
* Quokka Fearne is taken to the guard's barracks and hears the door being locked.
--> '''Ashley:''' I take a nap.
** The way a new guard finds Fearne, looks around the empty room and takes her, declaring, "You're mine now."
* Laudna sends Dusk a message and then asks her to hold. Dusk hums some elevator music before Laudna messages her again, but is just as quickly put back on hold.
* Imogen notes during planning that soon she will not be able to talk to Fearne, who tells [[NervousWreck Imogen]] not to stress. The latter ''immediately'' has a brief ThousandYardStare.
* The expectant look on [[ShipperOnDeck Sam's face]] when Dusk outright asks Imogen if she and Laudna were romantically together. After a long pause, Imogen answers "no", causing Sam to slump in slight disappointment. Marisha's heroic attempts to [[NoPokerFace keep a straight face]] are a journey as well.
* Ashton senses something off with Laudna and asks her what's wrong. Laudna immediately descends into loud, melodramatic InelegantBlubbering and collapses into their arms as she tearfully tells them that she broke Imogen's rock. Ashton sounds both sympathetic and like they'd rather be literally ''anywhere'' else.
** During their conversation, Laudna throws out constant apologies for getting black snot and tears all over Ashton's jacket.
--->'''Ashton:''' It's seen worse. Really, it has. ''({{Beat}}; glances down)'' Oh, maybe not. Fuck.
** Ashton offers some advice for making things up to someone you pissed off, which he knows because he's pissed off literally everyone he's ever met.
--->'''Ashton:''' Maybe we should focus on an apology related to the offense, if that makes sense.\\
'''Laudna:''' I should prostrate myself on the ground.\\
'''Ashton:''' No.\\
'''Laudna:''' On top of a spiky rock.\\
'''Ashton:''' I mean--\\
'''Laudna:''' Let her step on me.\\
'''Ashton:''' I'm not gonna tell you ''not'' to do that because that would be kinda cool, but no.
* The Bell's Hells once again have to come up with a plan.
** F.C.G. seems hellbent on wanting to steal a vehicle, that he says he will not be along for any plan that doesn't involve them getting their own ship.
** Dusk has to be the voice of reason among the Hells and point out how complicated some of their plans are going.
* Forging the letter to Treshi doesn't go well for anyone except Orym. Ashton, who rolled a 6, just drew a bunch of dickbutts on his.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 26: Hidden Truths]]
* Sam's ad this week is for Shopify, and claims to be selling different items with horrifying pictures of Ashley printed on them. She gets him back by advertising her revenge pies, [[PieInTheFace which she shoves in his face.]]
** Erika has a taste of the pie from off of Sam's face and discovers that it was [[IAteWhat actually shaving cream.]]
* Marisha throughout the episode is twisting and pushing her hair up in distress, making her head look like a bird's nest. It gets so frizzy to the point Taliesin worries it's not actually good for her hair.
* Matt asks everyone but Erika to leave the table. Cue the others joking that Erika was in trouble as she pleads for no one to leave her alone with Matt. After looking frantically at the departing party with hilariously over-the-top panicked expressions, they even clung to Travis' hands, yelling "Don't leave!" as he walks away from the table!
* F.C.G. telling Imogen he watches her when she sleeps. Not in a weird way. He then comments about how everyone else sleeps, concluding that Imogen is the most normal out of everyone else.
** Laudna asleep, somehow looks even ''more'' dead than usual.
** Orym apparently toots in his sleep.
** Chetney whimpers in his sleep and his leg twitches like a dog.
** Dusk talks in their sleep. Apparently they're having tea with a monkey, asking for two lumps and noting the smell of fresh scones.
* Orym wakes up, sneaks over to Fearne and manages to successfully retrieve Captain Xandis's spyglass. He then proceeds to wake Fearne up by doing crunches and using her legs for it.
--> '''Fearne:''' Ugh, what?\\
'''Orym:''' Five more minutes, just give me five more minutes.
** As Orym continues to work out [[FunnyBackgroundEvent in the background while the others talk]], Laudna tells him he's making them all feel bad.
--> '''Orym:''' I don't have powers! This is all I have!
* Laudna threatening Ashton's life should Imogen come back from his group harmed in anyway. Ashton remains calm and slightly indifferent as Laudna says she will bring Pate to life so he could eat Ashton's eyes out when he sleeps. It's just the amount of "[[ClusterFBomb fucks]]" Laudna drops that makes it seem like Ashton is certainly rubbing off on her.
** As Imogen leaves, she telepathically tells Laudna, "Had a dream. It was fucked up. I'll tell you later." As she walks off, the others joke about Laudna being left on read.
* Chetney attempts to send everyone off with a hands in cheer and asks them to say what they wanted. As they break up, everyone's speech becomes garbled.
--> '''Chetney:''' We'll work on it.
* F.C.G. goes to meet Dancer's ex, who recognizes the saw blade on his back, and asks if it was Pussy's. Cue a few at the table trying not to laugh.
** Dusk tries to teach F.C.G. how to break the bad news. They suggest an example, like talking about the weather, bringing up how someone's daughter died and then compliment the person's clothes. This method is called the "shit sandwich".
* F.C.G. asks Esmer if she's sure she saw Dancer. Esmer suggestively moves her eyes as she says there's only one person who could do "that", so she's sure.
** When he asks if all they did was talk, Esmer laughs and admits they did more than just "talk".
* Laudna and Orym partner up, with Orym disguising them as mother and son.
--> '''Orym:''' Call me [[CallBack Nancy]].\\
'''Laudna:''' You don't look like a Nancy. I'll call you Georgie.
** Getting bored while they wait, Laudna sends a message to Orym asking him what kind of animal he'd want to be. Orym nearly freaks out but answers her. The last time Laudna messages him, Orym reacts too slowly to respond because he was still not used to Laudna's [[VoiceOfTheLegion way of messaging]].
*** When Laudna asks what animal Orym would be, Sam whispers "[[CallBack Uk'otoa]]".
* Laudna and Orym spot Treshi walking out to take a smoke. Sam asks if he went out here because inside was a smoke-free zone, which Matt jokingly confirms.
* Imogen's cold, bitten-off affect in this episode causes [[FunnyBackgroundEvent visible, instinctive reactions in Travis]] every single time.
* Laura notices that Erika's hand is stained blue. Erika then stands up to reveal that she has broken her pen and is covered in ink.
-->'''Liam:''' [[CallBack You gotta be careful with Wild Magic.]]
* Ashton continuously bangs on Joe's door until he opens up. After taking off all of the many locks, Ashton remarks that he wouldn't have been so insistent if Joe was going to answer that fast.
* Joe's workshop is guarded by a couple of very bulky automata, which he has to hastily set into a kind of standby mode when the rest of the Hells arrive. Travis has some fun imagining how the automata would react to intruders.
-->'''Travis:''' ''(deep robotic voice)'' [[Film/RoboCop1987 "You have five seconds to comply."]]
* Imogen gets angry with Chetney for hoarding a bunch of money that he looted, which was supposed to be shared with the group. Chetney warns her about mouthing off.
-->'''Chetney:''' You're gonna have to be accountable for the words of your mouth!\\
'''Imogen:''' ''([[{{Telepathy}} telepathically]])'' What about ''these'' words?\\
'''Chetney:''' [[CallBack That's nice hair,]] [[ImpliedDeathThreat do you want to keep it this time?]]\\
'''Imogen:''' [[ThreatBackfire I think I look good bald.]] You don't scare me.
* F.C.G. messages Laudna, but apparently wasn't used to it as he sends her a message via yelling. Laudna messages him back, complaining about the volume before asking why Imogen wasn't the one who messaged her. F.C.G. has to now listen to [[VoiceOfTheLegion the voices in Laudna's messages]] and is quietly freaked out.
* While the others are vehement against selling F.C.G., they still ask how much he'd be worth, hypothetically speaking.
* Dusk points out it was F.C.G. who was insistent on the Hells getting a car in some way and how he wanted to drive it.
--> '''Sam:''' (''beat'') That was Sam speaking.
* Fearne apparently forgot to tell the group she received postcards from her parents.
--> '''Everyone:''' From Aeor?!\\
'''Fearne:''' No! Just from everywhere!
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 27: A Race for the Prize]]
* Sam's chalkboard this week reads, "0 Minutes Since Major Lore Drop". Cue him periodically writing on it throughout the episode, or erasing the number back down to zero when lore things happen.
* At one point, Matt tries to sidestep the [[RunningGag inevitable chorus of]] [[Music/VanessaCarlton "making my way~"]] by phrasing someone as "making a path," only for the cast to sing "making a path~" anyway. Matt can only sigh in mild exasperation.
* [[CallBack Once again]] Laura notices that someone at the table has stained fingers, and Sam reveals that he was the one who broke his pen this week.
* Chetney claims to have done miming in his first century of life. Laura asks for an insight check, while Taliesin outright ''demands'' a performance check to see how good Chetney is at miming. Turns out: not very (Travis rolled a 4).
* Imogen writes in Laudna's notebook, asking to talk. As Laudna rushes over, Dusk grabs her arm and nervously asks them out on a date. Laudna pauses for a while before realizing what Dusk was proposing. She gets so nervous and confused she hides behind her hair.
** Eventually, Laudna turns down Dusk and hands her the chunk of hair she accidentally pulled out.
--> '''Dusk:''' (''beat'') I've been left with worse.
* Imogen and Laudna finally make up, but both decide to act like they still haven't as they call F.C.G. over to have a private conversation. Laudna's over the top acting is just icing on the cake.
--> '''Laudna:''' [[BadBadActing And this is what I think about your stupid rock]]!
** Believing the ruse, F.C.G. attempts to transfer Laudna's suffering onto himself and even casts calm emotions.
* Ashton notices the ring on Laudna's finger and ask where she got it from. Laudna meekly mentions it was from Imogen.
--> '''Ashton:''' (''smirking'') She gave you a rock. [[ShipperOnDeck So all is well]].\\
'''Laudna:''' (''blushing'') ''Shut up''!!\\
'''Ashton:''' I'm always right!
* As they discuss F.C.G's faulty memories, F.C.G. asks if Imogen could talk to Delilah. It's just the FlatWhat the two women give before F.C.G. pivots towards asking about Dancer.
* Imogen and Laudna note that F.C.G. seems to becoming paler, with F.C.G. saying that shouldn't be physically possible since he's metal.
** Ashton later notices and brings this up, with F.C.G. once again saying that shouldn't be possible. Equal parts hilarious and heartwarming is Ashton's DeclarationOfProtection towards F.C.G.
--> '''Ashton:''' You let me know, if anyone hurts you, I will fucking kill them. You hear me?\\
'''F.C.G.''' (''slightly disturbed'') A-alright, but please don't kill anyone.\\
'''Ashton:''' I will fucking kill them.
* Dusk and Orym decide to spar with each other. Orym manages to outmaneuver Dusk a few times and slaps their ass with the wooden sword when he does. The crowd "Ooohs" in sympathy when one particular slap echoes throughout the air. Orym apologizes and attempts to fan the pain away.
** The cast loves it.
--->'''Travis:''' You do not truly know someone until you fight them.\\
'''Taliesin:''' [[DoubleEntendre Until you've tasted their wood.]]
* After the sparring, Dusk seems to flirtatiously ask Orym if he was doing anything later that night. Orym gently turns Dusk down as he informs them he only likes men. He then awkwardly leaves them with the wooden sword and walks off. Taliesin jokes that she should make a little shadow box of weird rejection keepsakes.
--> '''Erika:''' My summer...
* While the party is picking up their bomb, Fearne asks the shopkeep if they have a child-sized gun for Mister. It isn't until after she summons him that they remember that he's a [[OhCrap flaming monkey in an explosives store.]]
** As the group panics, Liam tells them that he thought giving the monkey a gun was a bad idea even before they all remembered he was on fire.
--->'''Liam:''' I've read that issue of ComicBook/{{Hellboy}}.
** Liam remarks that he hopes Percy's proud; Taliesin replies that Percy is just "spinning constantly, like it's generating electricity for all of Whitestone".
** As Ashley is rolling to persuade Esmer to give Mister a gun, Taliesin has a minor existential crisis.
--->'''Taliesin:''' [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone What have I done? What have I fucking done?]]\\
'''Liam:''' You thought Ripley was bad.\\
'''Taliesin:''' God fucking dammit. Nothing good has ever come from that decision.
* As they talk to Ratanish, he asks for their names. Seeing as Tenvar calls himself "The Rake", the others decide to go with their own. Chetney calls himself "Chisel", Dusk goes with "Dusta" and Laudna calls herself "Nightmare".
--> '''Ashton:''' I know they're a weird group, but I've been making a lot of fucking money with them.
** When the group discuss why Tenvar tries to call himself "The Rake", Erika can be heard muttering, "[[Film/MeanGirls Is he trying to make Rake happen]]?" Tenvar gets so frustrated trying to explain himself, he walks off yelling, "Fuck you!"
* As Otohan turns to leave, Fearne says "Before she goes..." Everyone else immediately starts groaning and yelling in exasperation.
-->'''Taliesin:''' That is gonna be the phrase on my ''fucking'' tombstone.
* As the Deathwish Run is about to start, several of the other participants are loudly trash-talking each other, with one being called "Fuckfork". Some onlookers then inform their companions [[HisNameReallyIsBarkeep that his name actually is "Erad Fuckfork"]].
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 28: The Deathwish Run]]
* Chetney calls his bike the Buck Fucket.
* As they prepare to ride out, everyone gets dressed up for the occasion. F.C.G. asks if he could have something drawn on his face, with Orym drawing on some angry eyebrows and teeth.
** Then there's the fact that F.C.G. is ''welded'' to the front of Laudna's vehicle for the entirety of the race. Cue him screaming in terror for a good majority of the race. Travis jokes that each time F.C.G. speaks, his voice should be wobbling and shaking the entire time.
* Laudna believes the bike is sentient like F.C.G.
--> '''F.C.G.:''' Who's talkin' to me?!
* Chetney decides mid-race to turn invisible and then changes into his werewolf form.
--> '''Sam:''' You're Night Rider?!
* F.C.G. summoning his Spiritual Weapon as [[VideoGame/MarioKart a ring of floating turtle shells]] to protect his vehicle.
--> '''F.C.G.:''' [[CallBack Because I was a turtle once]]. It's my favorite thing.
* Laudna as she uses her Form of Dread and then summons forth bees out of her mouth. Needless to say, she thoroughly terrifies the driver she was aiming at.
--> '''Laura:''' Hello, bees!!
* The Buck Fuckit gets covered by a net with [[SquishyWizard Laudna]] unable to remove it. Travis jokes that FCG should try and eat the net.
--> '''Travis:''' Eat the net, FCG! Eat! The net!
* After Chetney and Laudna switch positions so Chetney can fight, Sam remarks that FCG now doesn't even know who's driving.
-->'''Sam:''' I think it's Laudna, because the left blinker's been on for a while.
* The cast [[RunningGag continuing the joke]] of referring to Laudna as "Loud-na".
--> '''Marisha:''' As ''Loud''-na ''loudly'' exclaims!
* Sam is frustrated that he realizes he could have helped Laudna but already used up his turn. Matt hits Sam with the Price is Right sad trumpet theme.
* Dusk crawls to an unconscious Laudna and manages to heal her back to consciousness. Laudna yelps when she realizes it was Dusk who brought her back and the two awkwardly turn their focus back onto the race.
* While all of the chaos ensues, cut back to Fearne chilling with Mister and eating candy apples.
-->'''Fearne:''' [[{{Understatement}} That doesn't look very safe at all.]] I hope they make it!
-->'''Sam:''' "Wow, I'd hate to be in this race."
-->'''Fearne:''' So glad I'm not in this one.
* Fearne attempts to help the group by laying out the hole. Unfortunately, Ashley rolls a Nat 1, causing Fearne to fall into the hole.
** Later on, as they hear Fearne calling out to them Ashton goes to look for her. Then Ashton falls into the hole next to Fearne. As he tries to help her out, he attempts to snatch another item off of her, which she notices.
--> '''Fearne:''' [[SincerityMode You can go ahead and take one]]!\\
'''Ashton:''' ''(huffing)'' Well, now I don't want it anymore! You took the fun out of it.
* Laudna gets off her bike and wobbles over to make sure Imogen is okay, but she apparently forgot to do something:
--> '''F.C.G.:''' Chetney, Laudna left the bike in neutral, we're drifting!!\\
'''Chetney:''' Ashton!!
** Laudna is noticeably a little drunk as she was given free drinks from the audience.
** As everyone is celebrating, F.C.G. asks for help with the others belatedly realizing [[SomethingWeForgot they forgot about him]]. When Imogen brings Laudna over for him to heal her, he has to awkwardly stretch his arm out to do so.
* Fearne shows the group stuff she had stolen from the crowd -- one of a lady's two blonde braids (leaving her with her other one), the candied apples, and a bunch of coins which she feeds to F.C.G.
** A FunnyBackgroundEvent: Dusk and Chetney both receive a candy apple, and clink them together like wine glasses, only for them to get stuck to eachother. After they manage to pull them apart, Chetney visibly struggles to bite through his.
* The Hells bring F.C.G. to Imahara Joe so they can get him unglued from the bike. Laura asks Matt if it was like the "perma-dick glue", causing some laughs at the table before Matt tells her this glue isn't as strong as that one.
* Laudna and Dusk come to an understanding that Laudna isn't ready for that kind of relationship, with the two walking off with linked arms. Imogen looks at the two with a frown, and immediately Fearne asks if she'ss jealous. While Imogen denies this, Dusk and Laudna also link arms with Chetney, Fearne, and Imogen, and all of them walk off arm in arm.
** Imogen attempts to read Dusks's thoughts and gets nothing. While she's staring, Dusk is cheerfully singing with the others.
* After the race, the party returns to Imahara Joe's, and [[CharacterShill F.C.G. gives him an important message:]]
-->'''Sam:''' Remember, you can be a D&D Beyond subscriber, and unlock exclusive monthly perks. I needed to say that at some point tonight, and I just did.
** Later, when Erika is whispering the results of Travis's Insight roll against Dusk, Sam laments that that was the perfect time to plug the sponsor.
* Chetney asks Dusk if they have a hit out on the Calloways. He [[SecretKeeper not only promises to keep their secret]], he also wants in on it, so long as he gets some coin in exchange.
** Dusk later on goes to talk to Fearne, only to scream in confusion at why Chetney said what he said. Fearne tries to assure Dusk that Chetney was merely joking.
* When Erika reveals that "Dusk" is actually a changeling, Sam is the only one at the table to not immediately realize what Dusk is because Erika didn't actually use the word. Several others immediately remind him that he had ''[[Characters/CriticalRoleExandriaUnlimitedCalamity just played one.]]''
-->'''Sam:''' I didn't look like ''that'', did I?
** Erika excitedly standing in her chair, gesturing excitedly and even halfway onto the table at one point, and high-fiving Matt, [[EvilLaugh all while cackling maniacally]] while the rest of the cast are in shock.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 29: Dark Portents]]
* This week's ad done by Sam's temporary substitute Sam Ryegel.
* Sam continues his tradition of wearing the exact same clothes he wore in Campaign 2 every episode, which lands him in the hot pink, spiked bodysuit he wore during the live show that was episode 29 of Campaign 2.
* Dusk reveals their true name, Yu Suffiad, but the way they go around it is slightly confusing.
--> '''Laudna:''' Who are you?\\
'''Yu:''' I am Yu. You are me.
** Yu still taking the time to flirt with Laudna by kissing her hand after showing their true form.
* After reading Birdie's mind, Laura receives an ''incredibly'' long whisper, and is so shocked afterwards that she's unable to form a sentence. Erika promptly takes a picture of her wide-eyed expression.
* [[TheBerserker Ashton]] being the one to suggest they all chill the fuck out and talk calmly. When Birdie is reluctant to explain herself, he has a sharp response.
--> '''Ashton:''' WE'RE ALL SITTING DOWN AND CHILLING THE FUCK OUT!\\
'''Birdie:''' You don't know what you're doing!!\\
'''Ashton:''' ELABORATE!!
* Laudna asks Yu to stop fighting the Hell's and Birdie, but also feels conflicted over letting them go, since they would just kill Birdie. Yu takes on Imogen's form in response, with Marisha immediately noping from that.
--> '''Laudna:''' Okay, I don't like that, though. I don't like that.
* While Yu is captured, Fearne makes to take some of their items. Then while they're at it, they take the fifty feet of rope Yu also had.
* Yu attempts to shift into the handsome half-elf again, which Orym replies with a "hard pass". Laudna mutters that she wasn't special, with Yu trying to flirt with her. Laudna attempts to wave them away while talking over them.
** Ashton's response is to flatly tell Yu to take their "basic-ass looks" and [[PrecisionFStrike GTFO]]. Which leads to Yu's exit: they take Ashton's form and flip off everyone and proceeds to stomp out of the store in a show of childish mockery.
--> '''Yu:''' (''as Ashton'') So long, motherfuckers!! Argh! I'm angry!!
** He can't help but snicker and admit that was ActuallyPrettyFunny. Even Laudna agrees.
* When the table attempts to call Erika back for a farewell, they wonder if she had already left the studio when she doesn't respond.
* Birdie apparently snagged something via handshake, with Fearne noting how she always "borrows things".
--> '''Birdie:''' That's my girl!
* The group go to meet Birdie's contact, and when they finally open the door for them to speak, Matt describes the numerous locks and crossbows set up inside their panic bunker.
* Imogen immediately asks Hondir how they feel about kidnapping and using children for the "greater good", making a pointed look at Birdie the whole time.
* As Bell's Hells are following Birdie out of Bassuras into the Hellcatch Valley on crawler-back, Matt ends the episode... and then hastily restarts because [[SomethingWeForgot Birdie forgot to pick up her contact Hondir]], whom the group had just spent a whole scene with. Cut to the group exiting Bassuras for a second time, this time with a very irate Hondir in tow.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 30: Reunion & Revelation]]
* After Matt describes a man's forehead as sun-scarred like his own, Sam encourages the others to share weirdly personal facts about their bodies.
-->'''Sam:''' I have butt problems.\\
'''Travis:''' One of my nipples is higher than the other.\\
'''Liam:''' I'm fasciated with my pores.
* Matt constantly calling Laura "Laudna", getting annoyed each time it happens.
--> '''Sam:''' Don't worry about it, [[Characters/Dimension20 Brennan]].
* Imogen shoots lightning at the enemy's sandcrawler with the intent to explode all of the black powder in all of its guns. The others then remind Laura that [[DidntThinkThisThrough gunpowder exploding is what propels the bullets.]] The crawler then shoots [[OhCrap 60 shots]] towards the party.
--> '''Sam:''' This could be your [[CallBack goldfish moment.]]
* Ashley is listening to Matt's narration until she suddenly yelps in shock and damn near out of her seat. It turns out that somebody was trying to hand her a drink from offscreen.
-->'''Ashley:''' I just felt some scratching, and I was like, there's a creature!\\
'''Sam:''' But it was a cup.\\
'''Liam:''' ''(laughing)'' It's Ira. It's Ira. It's Ira!
* Laudna acting like a schoolgirl with a crush as Ira reappears. She twists her hair, smiles bashfully at him and doesn't seem to bothered over the fact he likely kidnaps children when Imogen brings it up.
** Ashton plans on having a drink with Ira, which Laudna vehemently objects to. They then decide to treat it like a Pretty situation and double date.
--> '''Laudna:''' I want to drink with him first! I didn't tell you out loud, but I called dibs first in my head!
* Ashley giddily wondering if the group will get to travel to the moon.
--> '''Travis:''' [[VideoGame/TheLastOfUsPartII The Last of Us]] was just a warm up.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 31: Breaking Point]]
* Fearne asks Ira directly if he and her Nana ever dated. He simply chuckles and says, "No. She has standards."
* The reveal of Otohan's partner [[spoiler: Ludinus,]] and the cast's reactions.
-->'''Liam''' I ''fucking'' knew it!... Sorry, that was Liam.
* Ashton decides to test of theory of his and asks Orym for the lens. He then smashes it with his hammer, saying it's fine since it was magical, [[EntertaininglyWrong magic items don't break]].
--> '''Laudna:''' How come everywhere I go there are broken rocks?!
** Ashton's response in particular is a flat, "Oh, shit" while everyone else is panicking.
--> '''Matt:''' (''answering if the item can be mended'') Depends on the enchantment.\\
'''Ashton:''' Yeah? Interesting.\\
'''Laudna:''' What the ''fuck'' Ashton?!\\
'''Ashton:''' Weird.
** Matt makes the moment even more hilarious by bring up that in an earlier edition of Dungeons and Dragons, Ashton would've got experience for that. Barbarians used to smash magic items to level up.
* Imogen casts Fly on Laudna so she can read some text that Orym found on the telescope. Laudna is clearly loving every minute of it, while Orym is so freaked out at the sight that he can't look directly at her.
* Matt describing the party "shaking the weight" of what happened leads to a bit of word association, culminating with the hysterical mental image of ''[[TheComicallySerious Ira using]] [[AnachronismStew a Shake Weight.]]''
* When asked to roll an Investigation check, Marisha grumbles "Where's Beau when you need her?" She immediately rolls a dirty 20, and blows a kiss to the ceiling.
-->'''Marisha:''' Thanks dude!\\
'''Laura:''' Beau's like "What's up?! Have some beer!"
** Laudna finds a stone with the word "Curiosity" written on it in Sylvan. Travis immediately suggests some more items she could find there.
--->'''Travis:''' "Knowledge" on a biscuit. "Passion" on a leaf.\\
'''Matt:''' I love your new Etsy shop!
* While the others rest, Ashton thoroughly trashes Ira's room. Ollie tries to tell them to leave some stuff intact... before realizing that it's actually quite cathartic to watch and joining in, along with Fearne.
* Imogen tries to comfort Fearne, telling her it's not okay that Ollie and Birdie keep avoiding her and she should let them know she's upset. Imogen then suggests they all hit their parents, at which point Ashton runs in ''fully'' on board.
--> '''Ashton:''' Are we fucking our parents up?! What are we fucking doing, we're hitting parents?! I want to hit a parent!\\
'''Marisha:''' (''laughing'') "I want to hit a parent."\\
'''Ashton:''' I don't have issues, fuck you.
** The whole thing is a lovely CallBack to campaign 2, where everyone is intruding on a private moment - the first one was actually Fresh, asking "is there therapy going on?", and then Fresh mentions that his old practice was to vent their frustrations into a doll, whereupon Chetney busts in and reveals that [[ChekhovsGun the doll he would have given to Laudna]] had been reworked into a generic figure to be "re-gifted" later. And yes, Travis really did bring out an actual doll, which incidentally is like those spring-loaded wooden horses that go totally limp after pushing a button, and if that's not enough innuendo for you, [[ItMakesSenseInContext Ashley bends it double and spits on it like she's trying to fix it back.]]
---> '''Imogen:''' She just spit on the crotch of that doll, I saw it...\\
'''Chetney:''' [[CasualKink Awesome!]] (''whole table melts down'')\\
'''Fearne:''' This really shows Chetney's work, the fact that you can crumple it down and it'll come right back up. [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything (bends it up and lets it spring back up) Ping!]]
** He produces two additional dolls of Fearne's parents later on (and again, Travis really does bring out actual dolls), and comments about their hair and clothes. This leads to a sidebar about where he got the hair, and naturally it was concluded that he [[ToiletHumor has been shaving the pubes off of party members in their sleep.]] This leads to Sam claiming that F.C.G. has pubes even though they have no genitals.
-->'''Matt:''' This is the ''worst'' retelling of Pinocchio.
* The above leads to a "confrontation" between Fearne and her parents, leading to a beautiful BaitAndSwitch when Fearne drops a fey bombshell by telling them she has a child... then breaking the dead silence by mentioning that "he shoots fire - it's a poopy thing", whereupon the mass {{corpsing}} starts.
* Fearne dubs the doll "Caviar", who immediately hits it off with Pate. He, Caviar and Sashimi then apparently have a threesome in the dollhouse.
* Fearne puts a stone in between the three dolls in Laudna's house, and one in Imogen's bag.
--> '''Ashley:''' I'm going to start some shit.
** The next morning when Laudna wakes up to greet the dolls, she calls for Imogen and believe the dolls love for one another manifested a stone.
* Laura randomly lets out one of her mythical burps during Matt's exposition.
-->'''Laura:''' Not gonna lie I totally forgot we were filming!\\
(whole table melts down)\\
'''Matt:''' I'm SoProudOfYou, Laura.\\
'''Travis:''' It's a god-given gift!
* After F.C.G. attacks the party, Ashton confronts the reality of the situation.
-->'''Ashton:''' I think that we all have to accept that everybody here is a potential fucking powder keg. Except for [[[TokenGoodTeammate Orym]]]. For some reason we decided to have ''one'' person who seems healthy and well-adjusted, honestly it's a little irritating.
* Imogen begins asking which automaton F.C.G. had salvaged the buzzsaw from, but pauses. As Sam looks for the name, everyone immediately starts saying, "It was Pussy's buzzsaw" and continue to say "pussy" for the next minute.
* Imogen goes to comfort Laudna, and asks about what she talked to Delilah about.
--> '''Laudna:''' She wanted the other rock. [[ItMakesSenseInContext The one that Sashimi gave birth to.]]
* [[https://youtu.be/_XnUfTCv6jI?si=Mbl9W-JirPx__SVi In a seperate video]], the cast levels up to level 7. Travis, with a very pointed stare at Taliesin, gleefully announces that Chetney taking a 6th level in Blood Hunter makes him [[TakeThat the highest level Blood Hunter in Critical Role's history]][[labelnote:*]]Mollymauk, Taliesin's Blood Hunter character from campaign 2, was KilledOffForReal at level 5[[/labelnote]]. The rest of the cast agrees that they'd be ''fucked'' if Chetney were to die and then [[spoiler:come back as the BigBad]], while Taliesin immediately flips Travis off with both hands.
-->'''Taliesin:''' Extra damage on both these fuckers now!
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 32: A Stage Set]]
* The Quip sponsorship goes off the rails quickly after Sam says that he's not legally allowed to place the toothbrush in his mouth. So he instead puts toothpaste on various objects (i.e. pocky sticks, dry spaghetti, pickles, licorice, pipe cleaners), scrubs his teeth with them, and refuses to stop until Marisha reads off the entire ad script. By the time Marisha's done, Sam's shoved nearly everything in front of himself in his mouth.
--> '''Sam''': [[RefugeInAudacity I found my gag reflex, guys!]]
** Afterwards Laura eats one of the pickles that isn't coated in spit or toothpaste. This translates to Imogen randomly eating a pickle in the middle of a serious discussion concerning FCG and Dancer.
--> '''FCG:''' Where did you get those pickles?
--> '''Imogen:''' There was a vendor up the street.
--> '''Ashton:''' You're eating Bassuras street food? You are braver than I thought.
--> '''Matt:''' [[ThrowItIn There's a hobgoblin back there with a cart. He's just like "Want some more? Get 'em quick! They're hard to find and they don't keep real long!"]]
** After the Pussy conversation detailed below, Matt asks "Sam, what is ''wrong'' with you?"
--> '''Liam:''' I mean, he ''did'' shove a cigar, dry pasta...
--> '''Taliesin:''' Pickle, Slim Jim...
* The cast milking the Pussy jokes for all they can, mostly in the form of terrible ideas for merch, leading to Matt having a break down and repeatedly yelling "No". Some highlights:
--> "My Pussy has a buzzsaw".
--> "If you see my Pussy call this number."
--> "Ask me about my Pussy."
--> "Fresh Cut Grass destroyed my Pussy."
** The best part is Matt's breakdown because he finally realizes [[{{Feghoot}} Sam's been playing the long game with his joke]], because, indeed, "the One-Eyed Monster slayed Pussy." The fact that it's canon thanks to Episode 1 makes it even funnier. Even Matt has to admit [[ActuallyPrettyFunny it was well-played]].
* The crew is discussing whether FCG should stay awake or not (and ''if'' they even can go out at all).
--> '''Fearne:''' Maybe you should stay awake. You know how when people do brain surgery-
--> '''FCG:''' I don't!
--> '''Fearne:''' [[VerbalBackspace I don't either...]]
* When Imahara Joe mentions the transmutation magic embedded in F.C.G.'s "stomach", Orym asks "Transmu-what now?" The cast immediately starts snickering, since Liam played a transmutation wizard in the previous campaign.
-->'''Marisha:''' Somewhere, Caleb has a nosebleed.
* Imahara Joe has to consult his history books when inspecting Fresh's innards, and finds something called The Care And Culling, which should already have dire implications for what Fresh was built for, but it's forgotten when everybody keeps hearing it as The ''Karen'' Culling.
-->'''Matt:''' [[LampshadeHanging Nothing that leaves my mouth in verbal form is safe...]]
** Similarly, the person who sold F.C.G. to Dancer is only known to Joe as "D". Cue many jokes about learning more about Joe's D.
--->'''Orym:''' Can you remember anything more about this D character? What was D's...\\
'''Sam and Marisha:''' Nuts.\\
'''Orym:''' ''({{Corpsing}})'' What was deez nuts?
* Chetney asks Imahara Joe if he has some paints that he's willing to sell, but is dismayed to learn that, being a bodyshop, Joe only has paints for metal surfaces, not wood.
* Ratanish assures Bell's Hells that members of the Paragon's Call are permitted and encouraged to have hobbies outside of the group. FCG asks what his hobbies are and then [[MundaneUtility immediately casts Detect Thoughts]], and Matt describes Ratanish making small jewelry with curlicues. Aloud, however, Ratanish replies that it's none of their business.
-->'''Liam:''' ''(imitating Ratanish)'' My Etsy store is called "Ratan-hyphen-ish".
-->'''Matt:''' ''(imitating Ratanish)'' I have discount if you buy in bulk!
* Ashton and Laudna's heart to heart collides with some MoodWhiplash as Matt reminds them they're in the middle of a raging sandstorm, meaning that contextually they're ''hollering the entire interaction.''
--> '''Ashton:''' Oh, it's ''adorable!'' I'm a ''big fan'' of having an intimate conversation ''right over here!''
--> '''Laudna:''' Everyone can see your damage!
--> '''Ashton:''' ''NOOOOOO'' '''SHIT!'''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 33: Blood and Dust]]
* Matt's reaction to the official Beau vest is first shock, followed by ''utter childlike glee.'' He asks for a vest himself and wears it for the rest of the episode. Crosses over with Heartwarming.
* In the great tradition of Critical Role, Chetney finds Bell's Hells' greatest enemy: Stairs. He fails another Dex check on stairs and trips over a wire.
* Ashton and F.C.G. getting on the crawler with F.C.G. driving. As he finds Ashton he yells, "Get in, bitch!" However, lost in the sandstorm, F.C.G. just starts doing donuts. Ashton is just panicking at how horrible their plan is going and yelling at F.C.G.
** Then the two start fighting over the wheel.
--> '''Ashton:''' ''You are too old to drive!''
** Ashton points out the stupidity of stealing a vehicle in an ''enclosed courtyard''.
---> '''Ashton:''' THERE'S NO WAY OUT ON THIS THING! THE DOORS ARE CLOSED!
---> '''FCG:''' There's not like maybe another door that's open?
---> '''Ashton:''' It's a SIEGE!
** As they argue, Ashley describes [[DissonantSerenity Fearne calmly walking over to the crawler]] as it barrels towards her. Later, they almost plow down poor Laudna when she lands in front of them.
* While generally terrifying and ruthless, Otohan has a brief moment wherein she's coldly surveying the battlefield from the rooftop. Only for Laudna to spider-climb into view about a foot from her face. Despite being described as an experienced and brutally efficient warrior, even she can only stare in befuddlement for a moment.
* The party struggles to open another door and nearly succeed until Fearne peforms a Mirthful Leap [[NiceJobBreakingItHero that slams it back shut.]] FCG reminds her that she has a telekinetic ring, which she then uses to open the door in two seconds flat.
--> '''Ashton:''' I hate you all.
* Sam trying to figure out who of the unconcious party members to save.
--> '''Sam:''' Do I save my lifelong friend, Liam... or the fun character who makes us all laugh?
* After the third party member goes unconscious, Taliesin mutters that this is because he beat Matt at chess in France.
* Following Marisha nervously singsonging "Delilah take the wheeeel..." when making a death save, only to immediately roll a natural 20, she excitedly exclaims she will never question Delilah again.
* In a ''deeply'' [[BlackComedy grim]] sort of hilarity, Matt announces one round as
--> "That brings us straight to your initiative, because everyone ahead of you is dead!"
* Laudna has some weird priorities:
-->'''Marisha:''' I... Fuck, ''fuck''.\\
'''Laura:''' You fuck?\\
'''Marisha:''' I- ''(laughs)'' I give in and I fuck Chetney.\\
'''Chetney:''' [[CasanovaWannabe We all do at some point!]]
* In a meta sense, the episodes' sponsor Backblaze [[https://twitter.com/backblaze/status/1568123568709312514?s=20&t=RqsFrumsZShmwLOEbMTV8Q responded]] to Matt's statement on the audience taking care of themselves after the harrowing episode.
-->'''Backblaze:''' We would uh...like to sponsor a shopping episode next time? Thank you <3
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 34: What Dreams May Come]]
* The [=NordVPN=] skit opens with Setty-in-Ashley having won in freezing everybody, which Matt points out isn't exactly what their sponsor would want. Setty tells him to shut up and reveals their endgame: getting everyone [[HurricaneOfPuns to stop making awful puns]] and instead do more productive things... like making balloon animals! Setty pulls out a bunch of balloons and starts making a balloon rapier, which gets everyone at the table to start mass {{Main/Corpsing}}.
* Befitting what happened [[WhamEpisode last episode]], Matt opening the recap with a cheerful "Last we left off" is met with groans and shouts of "Shut up, Matt!" from the players.
* When Sam asks whether or not it's metagaming to know that Fearne has Revivify, Liam says that even though they don't talk about it, it's not metagaming to know that everybody poops. Cue the whole table drowning each other out by shouting out their characters' pooping habits.
-->'''Laura:''' Imogen doesn't poop.
-->'''Liam:''' Orym poops ''the most''.
* Marisha makes an example of herself in "why you should never insult your dice". She says "Fuck Ruidus!" before rolling on the red Ruidus dice for Laudna's final death saving throw. [[BlackComedy She promptly rolls a natural 1, and Laudna dies.]]
* When trying to look for diamonds or anything else that'll help bring back either Orym or Laudna, Travis wonders aloud if Armand Treshi has an enchanted necklace, anklet, or [[BreadEggsMilkSquick cockring]]. When the rest of the table starts questioning the idea of a Cockring of Revivify, Sam immediately asks if they can make that an actual item.
-->'''Matt''' ''(shrugs)'' You have the ability to enchant items, I mean...\\
'''Liam:''' ''(mobster accent)'' You never know when you're gonna have a heart attack in the sack, y'know what I'm sayin'? ''(falls backwards then shoots back upright)'' Gouiii! I'm back baby!\\
''(everyone starts laughing)''\\
'''Matt:''' That's your backup character right there.
* Travis then jokes that Chetney could bite Orym and drag him over. When asked to elaborate, Chetney claims he gnaws or bites on things because dead people make him nervous. Cue the table acting like Chetney is a misbehaving dog and telling him to "drop it".
* Fearne is brought back to life by F.C.G. using Revivify.
-->'''Fearne:''' ''Okay,'' I'll come back, jeez louise...
** Her first question upon sitting up gets a very blunt answer.
-->'''Fearne:''' So, how's everybody doing?
-->'''Fresh Cut Grass:''' REAL bad.
-->'''Fearne:''' Okay then.
** There was absolutely no time for subtlety upon waking Fearne up.
-->'''FCG:''' Orym's dead and you have 30 seconds to save his life.
-->'''Matt:''' And that brings us to the end of this round--
-->'''FCG:''' You have 24 seconds to save his life.
* Fearne nervously asking the others if they should vote on whether to save Orym or Laudna. The SadisticChoice creates quite a bit of tension as Fearne has to choose, only for the BlackComedy of the concept of voting on it causes everyone at the table to burst out laughing from [[{{Bathos}} the mixture of drama and comedy]].
--> '''Fearne:''' Who votes for Orym? Oh no, that's so weird... ''(cue the entire table bursting into laughter)''
* Liam and Marisha take great joy in the fact that their being dead means they don't have to take part in the group's decision on who to bring back.
* Fearne's final last-ditch effort is to try smooshing Orym and Laudna really close together in the hope that the spell might catch both of them.
* Fearne, Master Of {{Understatement}}, after suffering through the agonizing decision of which of her friends to save, explains the situation to the revived Orym as "So, we...were in a bit of a pickle."
* At Joe's, F.C.G. asks for the coin he lent to Fearne to be given back. When asked if she would give it back, Fearne promptly says, "No".
* While Imogen sobbing over and over in party members' heads that she's sorry, and the fact that Laura's notebook says "Laudna is dead" over and over again, is quite tragic (assuming Liam isn't just making a reference to ''Literature/TheShining''), Liam's revelation that what it ''actually'' says is "Laudna is derd" sends the table into MoodWhiplash fits of laughter. The fanart gallery for this episode is titled "Redrum", cementing the ShoutOut.
* The Hells ''really'' don't like Treshi.
-->'''Ashton:''' I ''really'' want to punch the wall right now.\\
'''Chetney:''' Why do that when his face is right there?\\
'''Ashton:''' That'll make a lot less noise.
* Chetney manages to unlock the box and finds ground powder inside. He decides to snort a bit. He starts screaming in pain afterwards when it's revealed to be residuum.
* Imogen retrieves Pâté and decides to hold onto him for now. F.C.G. attempts to do Pâté's voice, but everyone admits it's a bit off-putting.
* Ashton brings up how he saw his parents in that vision. F.C.G. asks him how he would know if he was an orphan.
--> '''Ashton:''' (''counting down with his fingers'') I'll give you ten seconds to figure that out.
* F.C.G. gifts Chetney a wooden toolbox that he made himself. Chetney is quite flattered to be on the receiving end of such a gift, but he's appalled by F.C.G.'s lack of craftsmanship.
-->'''F.C.G.:''' I used my blade to carve it during the night. It's not as fine workmanship as you but-
-->'''Chetney:''' No it's not.
-->'''F.C.G.:''' -but I thought that you might like it.
-->'''Chetney:''' Oh, I love it. I love it so much! ([-God it's awful.-]) I love it.
** Chetney then gives F.C.G. their gift: an emotion clock they can set to show how they're feeling. F.C.G. is touched, and tells Chetney they love it in the flattest, most robotic tone imaginable.
** Chetney then wonders if he can teach his craft to F.C.G. in order to pass on his legacy.
--->'''F.C.G.:''' ''(looks at his clock)'' Is there one here that eye-rolls?\\
'''Ashton:''' Somebody's going to loot one of their bodies one day and be ''so'' disappointed.
** The emotion indicators are loose blocks, so when Sam tilts the clock too far forward, they all fall out. Cue everyone panicking that F.C.G. is about to lose his mind again.
*** Sam struggles to piece the thing back together, and eventually resorts to frantically trying to jam one of the pieces into the wrong shaped hole.
---->'''Laura:''' This thing is for toddlers!
* As the group is heading out, they try to make themselves inconspicuous. Everyone puts on their old raggedy cloaks and hoods. Chetney strips down naked, because everyone would immediately look away.
** Later, as they're trying figure out how to signal the airship, Chetney brings up that he still has a stick of dynamite.
--->'''Ashton:''' Where are you keeping that right now?\\
'''Chetney:''' ''([[AssShove winks]])''\\
'''Taliesin:''' ...I cast Fireball.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 35: Pyrrhic Return]]
* Sam's ad this week has him play "MC Adverbot," with buttons to press on paper. When Marisha presses the first button, he drops the paper to reveal [[BlackComedy only living players can press the buttons.]]
* The table says they should {{Retcon}} Orym's Revivify when they realize that Marisha has the best note-taking skills out of all of them.
-->'''Liam:''' We're just [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Homer Simpson]], spinning in a circle on the ground now. Woop, woop, woop, woop!
* Armand Treshi tries to bribe Bell's Hells while they're in the middle of a collective existential crisis:
-->'''Armand:''' I can get you gold.\\
'''Imogen:''' Fuck your gold.\\
'''F.C.G.:''' Wait, how much gold?\\
'''Ashton:''' I am [[SoProudOfYou so proud of you]] right now.\\
'''F.C.G.:''' Well, you taught me.
* When Taliesin rolls a ''[[EpicFail 0]]'' to intimidate Treshi[[labelnote:*]]He rolled a 2, and Ashton has a -2 to Persuasion[[/labelnote]], Treshi's able to bluff it away [[INeedToGoIronMyDog by saying he's got a tummy ache.]]
* Captain Xandis says they can put Armand in "mold storage" for the time being. When asked about this, [[DontExplainTheJoke they explain it's an inside joke that they store all their moldy equipment that they don't use anymore.]] This is capped off when they then turn to Armand and say in a chipper tone:
-->'''Xandis:''' Heeeeeeey, buddy! You're going to mold storage!
* F.C.G. suggests they hold a service or memorial for Laudna, leading the others to turn it down.
--> '''F.C.G.:''' [[BaitAndSwitch It also protects her from turning undead]], but... (''table breaks out into laughter'')\\
'''Ashton:''' You know, you coulda ''lead'' with that!
* F.C.G. sends a message to Jianna Hexum. They open explaining that Ashton's lost a friend, and then tack on [[SoProudOfYou how proud they are of Ashton]] [[InnocentlyInsensitive for finally having a friend.]]
* F.C.G. starts to Send a message with "Hey, lady! Fresh Cut Grass here," and Laura Bailey, of all people, decides to comment on it.
-->'''Laura:''' [[{{Hypocrite}} "Wow, that was a big waste."]]\\
'''Travis:''' [[LampshadeHanging "Okay, Jester."]]
* Ashton getting angry at F.C.G. always putting others over themselves, and goes on a tirade about how they don't leave anyone behind. He expresses it by saying, "Do you like me fucking happy?!"
--> '''Imogen:''' Do you fuck happy? Are you saying you like to fuck happy?\\
'''Ashton:''' (''exasperated'') I wouldn't know, it's been a ''long'' time!!
** Ashton then leads up with this point:
--> '''Ashton:''' Since I'm now caught in these fuckin' crazy people... (''to [[OnlySaneMan Orym]]'') Except you.\\
(''Cue half the table giving a look that says, "What the hell man?"'')\\
'''Travis:''' (''in a heavy southern accent'') I never!
* The entire second day on the ship is a comedy of errors when the entire table fails a Skill Event for the first time.
** Imogen casts Calm Emotions on the crewmembers, only for Fearne to fail guiding the Captain and a sail completely breaks off.
** Sam rolls a 1, which causes FCG to get picked up by a gust of wind and sucked out of the ship.
** Taliesin is the only person to make a roll in the double digits, resulting in ''everyone but Ashton'' getting launched off the ship when it goes up. [[CrossesTheLineTwice This comes directly off the heels of Ashton declaring they're not leaving anyone behind again.]]
** When Fearne comes to, her first reaction is to shout in terror and then play her panflute. Laura says that all Imogen does is lie prone and listen.
** Fearne realizes she's alerted a sand worm with her impact and awkwardly walks around trying to throw it off her tail. The rest of the party think she's dancing out of the blue. FCG attempts to mimic her after she tells him to follow her lead, [[AllForNothing but a bad roll ends up alerting the worm anyways.]]
** Orym saves Fearne from getting killed by the sand worm by grabbing her by the tail, shoving his shield in it's jaws, and kicking her out of the pit! He notes she takes a single hitpoint of damage from this. Fearne uses her telekinetic ring to rescue Imogen and Orym in kind, launching them and the shield out of the monster's jaws like a bottle being uncorked.
** Chetney is almost left behind until FCG uses their propeller hand to fly over to him. Chetney thinks FCG's just going to attack him again and screams the whole time as he's being rescued.
** Finally, when everyone is safe and sound back on the ship, Captain Xandis asks if anyone is good with wood, as they'll need to repair the ship. Chetney sobs in joy and immediately gets to work.
* After the storm, Ashton goes down into the brig to see how Armand is holding up. Matt says he's unmoving, which Ashton panics about until Matt assures him he's just [[SophisticatedAsHell "knocked the fuck out".]] As he does this, Chetney complains about the quality of the wood has has to work with in the next room over.
* The Hells reunite with Eshteross and plan their next move. Naturally, it gets [[MoodWhiplash ruined]] because Laura just can't resist making a DoubleEntendre. The cast immediately breaks down {{Corpsing}}, and it happens again right after Matt tries to continue the conversation.
-->'''Imogen:''' We're in it too deep to just [[HehHehYouSaidX pull out]] now.
-->'''Matt:''' ''(after trying to keep talking)'' I can't, I can't right now!
* As F.C.G. and Imogen enter Ashton's mind, the group can see two tiny versions of them inside Ashton's brain.
--> '''Laura:''' Honey I shrunk the kids!!
** Then when F.C.G. inhabits Ashton's body, he flexes experimentally to see what it feels like. Taliesin comments that everything hurts no matter what F.C.G. does. In frustration, F.C.G. utters the most Ashton thing.
--> '''F.C.G.:''' (''beat'') ''[[PrecisionFStrike Fuck]]''.
* When Orlana Sheshadri is skeptical that the Cerberus Assembly is involved in Otohan's conspiracy, Chetney draws their symbol into a pile of sawdust. Orlana states that the fact that they know what their sigil looks like doesn't really prove anything.
-->'''Travis:''' That wasn't exactly the Franchise/PerryMason moment I was hoping for.
* When Sam is set to recive a whisper from Matt, he wonders who will read the ad for whomever sponsored that night's whispers. After Liam completes the ad-read, Sam tells him that that was the wrong one.
-->'''Sam:''' They sponsor our battle cam! Is this a battle?
-->'''Taliesin:''' It's turning into one.
* Keyleth's return. Orym, as befitting their relationship, steps forward and greets her with a rasped "Hail to the Tempest" before giving an emotional, clearly rehearsed speech thanking her for coming, apologizing for the imposition, explaining why he thinks Laudna deserves the direct intervention of the Voice of the Tempest, Chieftain of the Ashari Tribes, etc. They lay their fallen comrade reverently at her feet, and the legendary druidic god-slayer speaks for the first time, saying:
-->'''Keyleth:''' [''profoundly frazzled''] Well--so, hi, I'm Keyleth--
* Keyleth has fully grown into her own as a leader and has matured through grief, love, and thirty years of experience in the world. She's also still Keyleth. Before she even meets the Hells, she spends so much time stepping casually through trees across Exandria that she completely loses track of where other people expect her to be.
--> '''Ashton:''' Sorry. We've had a weird few days.
--> '''Keyleth:''' I can see that on your faces, and I've ''been there.''
** And soon afterward:
-->'''FCG:''' We're Bell's Hells. We're a kind of adventuring party, people sometimes pay us to do jobs or things, but we're trying to do some good in the world and not just be mercenaries. It's not something you'd maybe understand, but that's what we've been up to.
-->'''Keyleth:''' [[AdventureFriendlyWorld Sounds vaguely familiar.]]
** Manaia Turei, the acquaintance of Eshteross's that the Hells had initially gone to for transportation, is thoroughly flummoxed at what is transpiring in front of her.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 36: A Desperate Call]]
* After the cast asks Sam why he performed the ad-read dressed as a flower, he reveals that he's been slowly turning into a sunflower in the Quip Public Domain Lounge ads and the cast just now noticed.
* One of Laura's merch announcements is for a Fearne, Imogen and Laudna "Bitchy Witches" shirt. Sam promptly asks if people should just tape over Laudna's face when they get the shirt. Laura retorts, [[BlackComedy "No, they can just wash her out with their tears."]]
* Keyleth wonders what F.C.G is, and he goes into a whole explanation of how he was basically a robot designed to murder people. He then cheerfully pipes up that it’s only been six days since he last tried to murder someone. You can tell Keyleth is processing a ''lot'' at the moment.
* Before meeting Percy, the Hells give Keyleth a quick run through on what they discovered on their travels. Imogen quickly admits to Keyleth she knows they come off as conspiracy theorists, but swears what they’re telling her is true.
-->''' Keyleth:''' (''beat'') I’ll put that on the pile.
* Perfectly interrupting Matt's loving description of Percy's office, a warm but intimidating space dominated by:
-->'''Matt:''' ...A dual set of stained-glass windows on the opposite that together form--\\
'''Laura:''' ''Voltron.''\\
'''Matt:''' —the Sun Tree in Autumn colors— ''([[{{Corpsing}} corpses]])''\\
'''Liam:''' This ''is'' de Rolo we're talking about.\\
'''Taliesin:''' This town needs a giant robot.\\
'''Matt:''' He's been busy over the past 30 years! Next campaign's gonna get REAL WEIRD, y'all.\\
'''Liam:''' ''(imitating Percy)'' "And I'll form the head."
* The Hells ask how comfortable Gwendolyn is with death, Percy says she’s more occupied with her book but will leave if he thinks it’s too much. Matt later reveals she was reading a medical journal.
** Percy gently admonishes Gwendolyn for running off with the book; she almost immediately turns to him with [[PuppyDogEyes sad puppy eyes]] and he immediately folds, telling her to at least put it back when she's done reading it.
* Chetney asks who the "skilled sunuvabitch" is who made the clocktower out front. Percy just wordlessly looks at him.
-->'''Chetney''' (gasping): ''No!''
** Percy asks Chetney if he included mechanics into his craft. The way Chetney keeps coughing, you’d think he was trying to choke himself to avoid answering Percy.
--> '''Percy:''' Are you alright?\\
'''Ashton:''' He's very old; he could go at any second. (''leans forward'') But today could be the day.\\
'''Matt:''' (''glances at Travis'') Roll a Constitution Saving Throw.
* Vex and Percy’s two teen children arguing over their hunt, with the boy’s sister teasing him for being terrible. Vex soon walks in and says she’ll let the chef know to make two less desserts tonight.
* After Keyleth and Percy had been addressing each other with their formal titles, Pike runs up just calling Percy’s name. Percy pauses for a moment before giving up on trying to correct her.
* Vex and Percy recall their wedding day.
-->'''F.C.G.:''' That must have been quite a ceremony.\\
'''Vex and Percy:''' (''deadpan'') You have no idea.
* As Pike holds up her symbol of the Everlight, Fearne takes an immediate interest in it. With Travis and Sam on either side of her, they end up becoming the [[GoodAngelBadAngel angel and devil on her shoulders]].
-->'''Travis:''' No. ''No.'' Don't steal it.\\
''' Sam:''' Steal it, steal it, steal it!!
* The first time Pike prepares the Raise Dead spell has this in spades.
** She was called directly from the bakery, so obviously didn't grab ''500 gold worth of diamonds'' on her way out the door. She glances up at the de Rolos and awkwardly gestures with her empty hands. Vex sighs and goes off to find some diamonds, with the table miming her shaking out her pockets and casually removing earrings to make up the difference.
** The 500 gold worth of diamonds is presented in a jumbled handful; Pike glances at them, starts to examine them, then remembers who chose the pieces and just confirms that she [[MythologyGag trusts Vex's eye]] on this kind of thing.
** When she prepares the ritual, there's a long, agonizing period of silence once the incantation finishes where it seems like nothing happened. The tension stretches. Maybe something went wrong with Gentle Repose, maybe Pike Trickfoot isn't capable of calling Laudna back because they don't know each other, maybe Laudna's undead nature interferes with the spell...?
---> '''Pike:''' ...Oh! [laughs] It's a B, not a C. Sorry, haven't done this in a while.
---> [the entire room is instantly transformed by an explosion of swirling golden light and sourceless divine wind]
* The table reacting to Pike revealing Delilah was tied to Laudna’s soul as well. Liam runs around as Matt calls for break, and Marisha slowly leans into camera with a creepy grin on her face.
* The way Ashton deflates after ranting to Percy, who calmly asks if Ashton is done rambling.
* After his failed attempt to make Percy relent, Ashton storms out through the castle and ends up trying to smash the first convenient thing he sees. He settles on a bust of one of Percy's ancestors. Taliesin rolls [[EpicFail a Nat 1, hurting his hand and not damaging the statue at all... and getting the attention of Trinket and his family, who had been napping nearby.]]
** This leads Ashton to a one-sided conversation with Trinket about Percy, ending with this gem.
--->'''Ashton:''' Would you do something for me? The next time you can, just shit somewhere inappropriate while thinking of me.
** This brief muttered exchange between Liam and Laura:
--->'''Liam:''' Good thing [Trinket]'s got arthritis.\\
'''Laura:''' You shush. He's the picture of health.
** Liam demands to know what the bears' names are and gets no answer. Taliesin replies that [[CallBack they're on the Tal'Dorei Council]].
* F.C.G. constantly asks what Pike does when there are hints of how powerful she really is. Each time she either brushes it off or just claims to be a baker.
** The way she casually mentions she’s friends with a god, leaving the Hells with unhinged jaws.
* When Pike sends Vex to get the gems and silver bars needed to bring Laudna back, Chetney starts to offer payment for them, but the rest of the group is quick to shut him up.
-->'''Ashton:''' Why are we splitting the bill with someone who lives in a castle?
* Pike offers to check if F.C.G. has a soul, and Chetney tells him she'll need his flesh tongue as a spell component. Cue Chetney cutting out F.C.G.'s tongue.
-->'''Matt:''' Finally, it's gone. Finally. It's the end.\\
'''Sam:''' Oh no... It's growing back!\\
'''Matt:''' I hate this so much.
* Ashton letting Vex know her husband is an ass. She doesn’t disagree.
** Then Ashton informs Vex F.C.G. had his mind blown after Pike confirms he has a soul.
--> '''Vex:''' Not to brag, but I’m used to blowing minds.
* Pike prepares the ritual for the Hells and informs them she’s gonna fuel up with stale muffins and water. Cue the table joking about Pike actually downing some alcohol offscreen.
---> '''Laura:''' Pike Trickfoot drinking water.\\
'''Ashley:''' ''Suuuuuuuure''.
** Lampshaded when Vex asks Pike for her flask, right after Pike had taken a swig and was quickly trying to hide it.
* Ashley keeps getting confused as she keeps acting out as Pike.
--> '''Matt:''' (''laughing evilly'') Pike is ''mine'' now!
* Pike constantly flipping through the book to inform the Hells on what will occur when they go to save Laudna. Each time she pauses and has to read the instructions, the Hells are less enthused about the whole trip.
* As Travis has Chetney sneak closer to the hut, he cautiously asks if there's a [[CallBack blueberry muffin]] on the windowsill. He relaxes when Matt tells him there isn't.
* One of the shadowy hands reaches for Fearne, who simply [[NoSell slaps it away]].
* The episode ends, and Liam demands Matt tells him what the names of Trinket's family members are. Matt refuses to answer.
--> '''Taliesin:''' It's fine, [[RunningGag they're on the council]].
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 37: From the Boughs]]
* While peering over a wall, Chetney panics upon seeing the alternate Whitestone and tries to dissuade the rest of the group from moving forward. Fearne takes a look and thinks that the twisted town is beautiful. [[ThePollyanna F.C.G.]] also takes a peek and agrees with her, much to Chetney's disgust. [[RuleOfThree Then Ashton agrees with both of them]] and Chetney gives up.
** Beforehand, Chetney's admittedly not inaccurate summary of what he found at the end of the tunnel.
--> '''Chetney:''' It just says "Game Over!"
* As the Hells travel through the facsimile of Whitestone, they wonder whether the houses are actually real and if the doors work. Naturally Sam suggests [[CallBack using a sword to try to open the door]], and Ashton tries to [[WesternAnimation/TheLegendOfVoxMachina get in through a window]].
--> '''Matt:''' (''sighing in disappointment'') Time is a flat circle, man.
* Matt describes some marrow dripping with blood that the Hells come across. Most of them "nope" immediately away from it.
** Liam calls the warped buildings of the fake Whitestone "some abstract German expressionism bullshit". In ''character'' as Orym!
* Travis begins singing "Thriller" in the Chetney voice.
-->'''Matt:''' DC's just gettin' higher.
* Sam's flask this session is attached to the ceiling with a cord and a sign that warns people not to touch it. Ashley, who has a pair of scissors right next to her, [[TemptingFate giggles and immediately goes to cut it once she sees it.]]
** When F.C.G. drops down to zero hit points and is sent back to the material plane, [[BrickJoke he cuts the cord himself]] and cheerfully says he's going to hang out with Marisha.
* When a young Matilda is bullied by "Whitestone Andy", Liam asks Matt how many hit points the kid has, implying Orym [[WouldHurtAChild would have been fully willing to murder a kid]] [[DisproportionateRetribution just for bullying his friend.]]
* The Hells find Matilda in a barn, sewing together some crude dolls and surrounding herself with drawings. FCG notes [[InnocentlyInsensitive how ugly the drawings are]] and some of the Hells immediately tell him to shut it.
* Matilda talking about how she made a bird that can take her away is quite sad, but Ashley's resulting facial expression and her head impacting the table with a very audible, very healthy ''THUNK!'' is just plain hilarious.
* As the vines close off their exit and start creeping its way towards the group, Ashton grabs the nearby lamp and holds it aloft.
--> '''Ashton:''' I don't know if threats work here, but I'm gonna make one.\\
'''Imogen:''' Oh, we're gonna burn ourselves in a barn?\\
'''Ashton:''' Shh, it doesn't know that.
* Chetney tosses a lit dynamite at the vines and the vines seem to swallow it with no reaction. Ashton starts saying that it didn't work, before Matt [[InstantlyProvenWrong lets out a loud explosion sound]].
** As Travis mimes Chetney throwing the dynamite in slow motion:
--> '''Taliesin:''' Speed it up! ''Speed it up!'' We gotta go, we gotta go!\\
'''Liam:''' You speed the tape up and it's just "Eh!"
* As the images of Laudna's parents rush Imogen and Fearne, Ashley jokes that Fearne uses Speak with Animals out of pure panic.
* Ashley thankfully rolls a high enough Wisdom Save to expel a dark spirit from possessing her. This is described in-universe as the spirit [[OrificeInvasion entering her mouth and nose,]] [[BrainwashedAndCrazy Fearne standing up slowly,]] [[BaitAndSwitch and then wondering what just happened]] before complaining that the spirit feels funny in her. Then she pinches her nose and blows the spirit out of her ears like a cartoon!
** Chetney snaps at the spirit for attacking Fearne and slashes it to bits before landing on her shoulders. She gives him a pat on the head in gratitude.
* When the Hells find Delilah, she's not wearing any clothes. It's because her form is shadowy, but the cast immediately draws the natural conclusion.
--> '''Chetney:''' [[DirtyOldMan Yes]]!\\
'''Sam:''' Big ol' titties!\\
'''Liam:''' That means titties!
** Matt, exasperated, tells them that "she's not starting an [=OnlyFans=]. [[BaitAndSwitch Yet]]."
** Then when Laudna appears, Sam asks if she was naked as well. Matt quickly tells him no.
* Ashton tries to talk to Delilah, who quickly cuts into his speech with some dry wit.
--> '''Delilah:''' [[DeadpanSnarker I find the depths of your ignorance extremely boring]].
** You can tell Delilah is slowly getting annoyed in dealing with the Hells as she remarks, "I'm dealing with children." Though it gets funnier in a meta sense when Matt had made a similar remark about his table.
** The group even start to point out that some of them are actually ''[[OlderThanTheyLook older]]'' than Delilah herself.
* As they begin their fight with Delilah, Laura quietly points out they're level sevens fighting ''Delilah Briarwood'', and Travis responds with [[ThisIsGonnaSuck nervous laughter]].
-->'''Sam:''' ''(faintly hopeful)'' Well, we're in a dream space...maybe—maybe she went down a level when she died.
* After the break, Sam returns wearing a sailor outfit...right as the Hells are ready to face off against Delilah.
* F.C.G's first response when meeting Delilah? Suggests they have a long, non-judgmental talk about whatever trauma she's suffered that leads her to traumatize others.
--> '''Delilah:''' So you've...come here to offer me ''therapy.''
* Matt briefly calls Marisha back to the table. It takes some time for her to get there, since she had apparently been looking after Omar and was rushing over in flip-flops. When Matt finally sits Marisha down at the DM chair, she looks just as confused as everyone else.
** Liam is upset that Marisha didn't abuse her power during the brief moment she was in Matt's chair.
--->'''Liam:''' You were the DM! You could have said Delilah turned into a fart!
** While Matt steps away to grab the battlemap, Marisha runs into view of the camera and shouts that Delilah dies in one hit.
* Travis describing Chetney's transformation as him tearing off his Chetney legs to reveal his werewolf ones, and then his torso, wrapping his gnome arms around his neck like a scarf.
* F.C.G's spiritual weapon this time around? Pâté.
* Mister joins the battle, occasionally chucking fire seeds at Delilah while flying up the tree.
* Sam getting frustrated over not being able to give his friends that many hit points back, but not able to do much in terms of action. Cue Laura and Taliesin dropping their two cents:
--> '''Laura:''' Not so easy now, is it?\\
'''Taliesin:''' I didn't have too much trouble healing you all, honestly.
* A furious Delilah screams, "Get. DOWN!" Laura visibly backs away in her chair while emitting rapid-fire "eep"s.
* After Orym and F.C.G. are knocked out of combat, Liam and Sam were apparently drinking with Marisha off camera.
* When the episode ends with a massive {{Cliffhanger}} that apparently spells out that Delilah is DeaderThanDead and Laudna's fate is left completely unknown as everyone's been forced out of her mind, the table ''collectively flips.'' Liam grabs the minis off the table and jostles them around, Laura and Ashley sit and scream in protest as Laura mimes stabbing at Delilah with her pen, Marisha and Sam run around the room hollering, Travis chucks Ashley's Mister plush at Matt, who catches it and begins to pet it, and Taliesin tries to crawl under the table.
--> '''Taliesin:''' Hey, there's so much room to [[TroubledFetalPosition go fetal]] down here!
** After he's finished running around, Sam goes ahead and trims FCG's cord all the way so that it stops poking into the screen.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 38: A Dark Balance]]
* Since it's Halloween, everyone's in costume as the X-Men!
** Matt is Gambit since that allows him to not wear a wig and introduces the show with his signature accent. He also takes to chucking cards at Sam when he tries to mess around with the rest of the table, and the players keep complaining that his black and red contacts make it really hard to see where he's looking.
** Taliesin is Mr. Sinister and laments that he does have to wear a wig.
** Liam O'Brien is dressed as ''[[ActorAllusion "Best boy" Nightcrawler]] was too much time and effort for me to do in two weeks, so I chose Cyclops instead".
** Laura is Rogue.
** Ashley [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial totally knows who Emma Frost is, and didn't just dress as her because she's blonde.]]
** Sam is [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers Mr. Fantastic]], complete with comically long arms.
** Marisha is Dark Phoenix, but it's illegal to sell colored contact lenses in California without a prescription, so she has to rely on the post-team to make her eyes glow.
--->'''Liam:''' Why is she wearing a propeller beanie though?!\\
'''Marisha:''' ''(now with glowing eyes and a propeller hat)'' You shut up!
** Travis is too tall to be Wolverine, so he's dressed as Piotr Rasputin "cosplaying" as Wolverine.
* Sam's ad read uses a green screen behind Travis and Marisha, where he allegedly has a slideshow of scary images to play behind them. [[ItMakesSenseInContext Travis and Marisha end up picking a giant nose, run away in terror from adorable kittens, and stab Travis in the face.]]
* Their Halloween costumes are apparently diegetic, as Laudna pouts over Orym getting "cool sunglasses" while she was dead, and Ashton going to the dinner with the De Rolos ''in full cosplay as Mister Sinister.''
* Laura gets so stressed over Laudna's resurrection she gets a nosebleed.
* Pike [[BlatantLies extremely tactfully]] responding to the Hells' assessment of the end of their battle.
--> '''Pike:''' Not to burst your bubble at all but we've also 'killed Delilah'. A couple times.
* Pike chugs half an entire pitcher of water out of stress before she proceeds with the ressurection ceremony and offers the rest to Orym. Out of habit, Liam-as-Orym reaches up to take it and holds it as if it's twice the size of his body, only for everyone to point out that Pike is a ''gnome'' and that they'd be the exact same height. Cue Travis in-character as Chetney panicking that Delilah's cursed Orym to shrink.
--> '''Laura:''' [miming lifting up her skirt] WHERE IS HE?
* Pike finishes the resurrection but is still unsure as she feels for Laudna's breath. The group confirm she hardly ever breathes. So Pike takes the initiative to ''slap'' Laudna, causing Laudna to sit up in shock.
* Pike checks Laudna and says "[[AmbiguousSyntax It's definitely her.]]"
--> '''Imogen:''' Her—"her"? Laudna "''her?''"\\
'''Pike:''' Laudna! Yes! Sorry, I shoulda specified. That's on me. Sorry, it's Laudna.
* Laudna, mid-panic attack, wide-eyed and openly terrified, shakily manages to ask how long she's been dead. Without missing a beat:
--> '''Chetney:''' Years.
--> '''Fearne:''' This is all that's left.
--> '''Imogen:''' It's been a couple days, Laud—
--> '''Chetney:''' No, this is all that's left. These fine people are gonna help us rebuild society.
** Chetney claims that Vex is "with him" and Matt describes Vex pulling back on her bow again. Chetney immediately backpedals and claims it was a joke.
* Laudna meets Pike and Marisha asks if Laudna would know who she was. Matt asks her to roll a History check and she rolls an 8.
-->'''Laura:''' Aww, you woke up stupid!\\
'''Marisha:''' [[CallBack Intelligence of 6! I know what I'm doin'!]]
* Laudna meeting Vex is emotionally complicated for both of them, but some things are universal constants.
--> '''Laudna:''' You're...very pretty.
--> '''Vex:''' [[BluntYes Well, yes]].
* Laudna telling Percy she named Pâté after Percy's family, calling him his "long lost cousin". You can tell Percy is doing everything he can to remain diplomatic.
* Laudna asks Percy to touch the Sun Tree, as she's fascinated by its warmth. Percy is weirded out by her request, but Vex not so subtily pushes him to just do it.
-->'''Percy:''' ''(sigh)'' You're gonna make me do a Keyleth thing, aren't you?
** Vex and Pike touch the tree as well, followed by the rest of the Hells. F.C.G. pretends to be able to feel the warmth, Vex gently teases Percy for never having touched the Sun Tree before, Chetney seems a little turned on, and Ashton hangs back to laugh at the scene before Orym physically grabs their wrist and slaps their hand onto the tree.
* Fearne asks Pike for a hug, and the entire table groans. Fearne attempts to steal the crest of the Everlight, and fails as Pike untangles it from her fur. However, she winks knowingly at Fearne.
--> '''Pike:''' So! Feel free to come by the bakery. Where I can see you. In plain sight. At all times.
* Pâté can now be summoned as a familiar, and he can now interact with the group. You can see how Laudna is instantly regretting giving Pâté his particular personality as he flirts with both Imogen and Fearne.
* When announcing they're going to serve the Hells dinner, Vex immediately lets Laudna know the dining area has changed to somewhere else.
* Fearne manages to persuade Percy to give Mister a gun.
--> '''Liam:''' This is how Planet of the Apes starts.
** Then when Percy asks to see Mister to gauge his size, Fearne calls out for Mister. He appears and starts messing up the table with the party groaning in despair.
--> '''Percy:''' So. This is your monkey. ''(beat)'' I don't know what I was expecting.
** When he gives the gun to her (essentially a miniature potato cannon), Fearne asks if it would be possible to put black powder in it. Percy pauses before replying "It's your lesson to learn."
** Before he gets up, Matt describes Percy [[INeedAFreakingDrink emptying his half-filled goblet of red wine.]]
* Imogen telepathically talks to Vex, awkwardly asking to confirm that the final course wouldn't be lobster since that was one of Laudna's final meals. Vex thanks Imogen for the heads up and then ''immediately'' excuses herself to [[IHaveToGoIronMyDog check something quickly]]. The final course that eventually appears is a "hastily prepared" potato soup.
--> '''Liam:''' Put 'em back in the tanks! ''Back in the tanks!''
* Percival de Rolo, slayer of gods, Lord of Whitestone, joins Imogen in her ongoing struggle to convince F.C.G. that Exandria is round, sitting in a parlor of his ancestral home and explaining exasperatedly that "[The world] is. ''Not'' flat."
* During a touching moment, Orym yanks Ashton down low enough to give them a noogie... apparently forgetting that Ashton's hair is made of very sharp and spiky crystal, immediately ripping the skin off his knuckles.
* Throughout the latter half of their time in Whitestone, Travis repeatedly makes hilariously unsubtle overtures that he wants to see the de Rolo children.
* [[FanNickname Matthew [=McConoughtree=]]] returns as Fearne learns Speak With Plants to talk to the Sun Tree!
** She asks how long the Sun Tree has been in Whitestone and if it predates Ruidus; the Sun Tree confirms that Ruidus has been there at least as long as it's been planted.
-->'''Travis:''' Leaves come and go, I stay the same age!
* FCG tries to Send a message to Manaia Turei, but due to their inexperience it comes out something like a certain trickster cleric’s attempt to contact a wizard. After casting the spell twice, they were barely able to make themselves understood.
--> '''FCG:''' "It's Bell's Hells. If you are awake, we are at the Sun Tree in Whitestone and require transportation back to Jrusar. Don't reply to this message until—''fuck!"''
--> '''FCG:''' "We're Eshteross's friends! Could you open portal to Sun Tree in exact two hour? Did hear me...in sleep? Did you hear me in your sleep? Reply!"
* As they discuss Ruidus with Vex, F.C.G. mimes the sky and land being parallel to each other. The Hells sigh and wonder how they can fix this with Imogen saying during their shared dream she ''tried'' to hold F.C.G. up to see that the world of Exandria is round.
* Liam falls over like a tree silently laughing as Marisha tries to figure out her new spell to see through her familiar's eyes.
* Since Laudna is back, the rest of the table adding creepy whispering to her Messages are back too! And then there's Sam.
--> '''Sam:''' [[NonSequitur Cappucino!]]
* As Chetney checks for traps in Eshteross's manor, he accidentally triggers one, causing a large pillar to fall on him [[spoiler: and Esheteross's dead body]]. Chetney immediately apologizes.
* While reading [[spoiler: Eshteross's will]], Chetney speeds through the "fucking purple prose".
** While most of the letter is filled with the aforementioned PurpleProse, it ends with "Now go stop this weird moon shit."
** Chetney also gets insulted [[MyFriendsAndZoidberg when he's referred to as the "small one" when the other Hells are named.]]
** Travis feigns as if he is not going to read the last page of [[spoiler: Eshteross's will]] and Laura proceeds to yell at her husband in a manner and tone of voice similar to an exasperated mother scolding a child.
---> '''Laura:''' Do not, ''do not'' do that, [[FullNameUltimatum Travis Willingham!]] That is not acceptable.
** Then Travis mimes Chetney taking out a torch... [[BaitAndSwitch so he can read the letter more clearly.]]
** The players are trying to remain solemn in this moment, but they still can't help but get excited when they hear that [[spoiler: Eshteross had bequeathed them the usage of the Silver Sun skyship in his will]].
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 39: The Momentum of Murder]]
* In the wake of Eshteross's death, the Hells discuss possibly renaming themselves in his honor, which Imogen disagrees with. Sam then asks "Why wouldn't you want us to rebrand ourselves, Laura?"[[labelnote:*]][[DontExplainTheJoke Laura is the person in charge of merch for the show, and thus the branding.]][[/labelnote]]
** In a meta joke, Chetney grumbles about how he already carved them a Bell's Hells logo out of wood.
* Laudna attempts to cast Eldritch Blast on Ashton to see if she's still got all her powers after Delilah's death. She insists on pulling her punches, but Ashton (and Taliesin) insist he'll be fine. Sure enough Marisha rolls a one followed by a seventeen and hammers Ashton with an Eldritch Blast. They shrug it off, take a shot, and cheer.
* As the Green Seekers are escorting them out of the tavern, Ashton shouts to the staring patrons that he killed the tavern owner and doesn't regret it.
-->'''Ashton:''' If I'm going down, I'm going down a legend.
* Orym tells Orlana Seshadri that all of them are more than willing to hunt down Otohan Thull if she needs them to. Cue poor Laudna's silent OhCrap reaction.
* Imogen and Orym tearfully give their goodbyes to Estheross. [[CrossesTheLineTwice Fearne tries to pickpocket him]] much to everyone's disgust. At least, almost everyone's.
--> '''Ashton:''' ''[softly]'' "You're my favorite."
* Chetney and Laudna mend the letter back together to make it look like it wasn't touched. Chetney outright tells the person they turn the letter over to that they committed mail fraud.
* Sam's flask has an advertisement for [[CargoShip a phone sex hotline]] ''[[CargoShip to Ruidis itself,]]'' complete with a bright red phone strapped to the side.
* The group meet Weva Vudol, a creepy woman who looks after dead bodies. She even kinda creeps ''[[HorrifyingTheHorror Laudna]]'' out.
** As she walks away Laudna tries to read her expression. But since her back is turned, she can't glean anything off of her.
--> '''Matt:''' You hate to see her go...\\
'''Sam:''' But love to see her walk away.
* Upon finding out that Estheross' cane is actually an enchanted transforming scythe, both Chetney and Ashton take a liking to it. F.C.G. immediately assumes they'll start fighting over who gets to wield it and begs them to stay civil despite both of them insisting they have no problem sharing it.
** Ashton tries to prove this to F.C.G. by tossing the scythe over to Chetney. He gets bowled over by the scythe and everyone acts like Ashton's killed him.
* Much like "Mike Hunt", Matt's phrasing of Pretty [[UnusualEuphemism "needing to drain the bacon"]] is taken to it's logical extreme by the table, with everyone talking about how they'll need to drain the bacon as soon as Matt calls break... which he was just about to do.
* Laura's cross-talk with Liam led to some momentary confusion over which character Matt was voicing and which character Orym was asking about.[[note]]Orym was looking for Xandis and thought he was talking to Xandis. Matt was voicing Port Captain Tang. Liam rolled with it and was just going to ask Tang where Xandis was, but Laura's interjections kept confusing things.[[/note]] This led to jokes that Laura's cup had too much margarita in it, with her defending it as juice. Sam dubbed it "Momma Juice," and everyone started cracking jokes about Laura as a LadyDrunk.
-->'''Travis:''' We're gonna get home, Ronin's gonna be like "Can I have momma juice?"\\
'''Liam:''' ''(slurring)'' "Go play your Nintendos."\\
'''Ashley:''' "I'm not sleeping, I just have my eyes closed."
* A young crew member comes to greet the Hells and is scared shitless at seeing Laudna. She gingerly throws a coin at him which hits him in the eye and he scurries off. Xandis comes up to inform Laudna they had been telling the kid the docks were haunted. Laudna giggles as she wished Xandis told her earlier so she could have put on an act. Xandis laughs and says they'll remind her to do it next time.
* The Hells ask if there's an escape pod on the ship with Xandis claiming they [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial wouldn't have dreamt of making an escape pod just for themselves]]. Chetney rolls for an insight check and gets a whisper.
* Laura getting annoyed at Sam who asked while she had just finished shopping if she could have picked up a coin worth 25 gold.
* During the travel, Chetney decides to cut sections of rope for everyone to tie themselves onto the ship, to avoid them falling overboard like last time. As Matt asks everyone to roll for strength, most of the group roll poorly while Ashton rolls high.
--> '''Ashton:''' (''after Fearne, Imogen ''and'' Orym roll 3 or lower'') 22, what the fuck is wrong with you?!
** Everyone starts slamming into the side of the ship with Laudna casting Feather Fall to stop it. Orym however, gets shot up into the sky like a kite and is forced to stay up there for a while.
* Out of boredom, Laudna decides to tie Pâté up and flies him like a kite. She then quickly reprimands him for being too cheerful.
--> '''Pâté:''' (''beat'') I don't know how else to be!
** F.C.G. asks if Laudna was trying to kill Pâté with her quipping that he was already dead.
* Orym is said to be the most competent member of Bell's Hells because he does 200 squats every morning.
* A crewmate momentarily walks up on deck for fresh air and sees Fearne and Orym fighting off werewolf Chetney. Orym and Fearne assure them it's fine and to go back inside. The crewmate looks awkwardly at the group but complies and quietly leaves the scene.
* After Chetney recovers from being forcibly transformed into his wolf form by a Ruidus flare, he looks down and, in Travis's deep growly voice:
-->'''Chetney:''' Oops. [[Music/BritneySpears I did it again.]]
* After a moment of being horrified at what he's done, [[MoodWhiplash Chetney immediately dismisses Orym's heavy wounds to try and get Fearne to come to his room.]]
--> '''Orym:''' I'm gonna rub some dirt on it and shake it off.\\
'''Chetney:''' I'm gonna rub something else.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 40: Compulsions]]
* Sam's ad for Hit Point Press this week has him pretending to be a radio DJ, but all the soundboard cues turn into the story of a husband walking in on his wife having an affair (voiced by Travis and Marisha) and the other man shoots the husband and flees the police. Sam gets so invested in this story that he tries to press more cue buttons, [[ThatWasTheLastEntry only to find that they're now making the sounds they're supposed to.]]
* Imogen and Laudna decide to go for a late-night stroll to help her get her mind off of her dream and Sending [[spoiler:to her mother]]. They take one step out onto the deck and immediately see the near-mauled trio of Chetney, Fearne, and Orym. [[BlatantLies Chetney assures them both that he's fine before passing out.]]
* Imogen brings Chetney to F.C.G. and Ashton's room. F.C.G. yells a cheery "Smiley day" which gives Ashton a headache, and Laudna reminds F.C.G. it's still two in the morning. On closer inspection of Chetney's condition, Ashton is bummed he missed out on an amazing show.
** Ashton covering Chetney's nose and mouth to get him to stop messing around. After F.C.G. heals him, Travis jokingly starts singing "hello my baby, hello my honey".
* Ashton asks for a show of hands of who thinks they'd probably betray the group at some point. Everyone but Orym raise their hands. [[ConsummateLiar Fearne]] insists she'd ''never'' turn on the group.
-->'''Ashton:''' (''to Fearne'') You are actually the one I worry about most.
* Pate joins in on a heart to heart between the Hells, assuring them in his own creepy way that they're all in this together. F.C.G. ''clearly'' does not like him.
-->'''F.C.G.:''' I just found out that I've got a soul, and now this thing is alive now too, so it's like a good and a bad.\\
'''Imogen:''' Does Pate have a soul?\\
'''F.C.G.:''' I don't know, but the fact that he is alive and sentient makes me question whether my soul is worth anything!
* The first skill check that the table fails goes over surpringly well, as everyone is below deck when a sudden crossbreeze batters the skyship. The same can't be said for [[ButtMonkey Xandis]], who gets thrown around cursing up a blue storm the whole time.
* [[TemptingFate F.C.G. stands on the upper deck holding the Changebringer's coin, asking her for a sign.]] The ship is then immediately boarded by a group of cockatrices that attack F.C.G., who refers to them as [[CallARabbitASmeerp "bird-dogs".]]
* Matt reveals that the cockatrices were trying to flee from a chimera. Courtesy of Laura and Travis's son Ronin, who Matt had asked beforehand what creature he'd like the group to fight.
--> '''Liam:''' (''to Laura'') So when you die, it'll be extra special.
** He also mentions that the cockatrices shiver in repsonse to the chimera's cry, and Travis and Marisha recall a moment from the previous campaign that (once again) breaks Marisha for several minutes.
-->'''Travis:''' ''*under his breath*'' Shiver and quiff?\\
'''Marisha:''' Yeah, I almost didn't wanna say it!
** Also, it's a white chimera and the leathery wings and dragon head appeared first, making it appear at first that the threat was a white dragon. This is a reference to the white dragon Gelidon that pursued the Mighty Nein in the last campaign, summoned by one unfortunate event roll.
* Laudna takes 36 fire damage which which knocks down Laudna's hit points to dangerously low. Marisha is understandably distressed.
--> '''Marisha:''' (''sadly'') I don't even go here...
* Chetney once again not quite sure of his age, with him guessing from 400 to 600.
--> '''Chetney:''' It's very clear I am... (''rolls dice'') 700 years old.
* Chetney encourages everyone to howl to show the Gorygynei they're here. F.C.G. instead shouts "beep beep boop!"
--> '''Orym:''' Wait. Letters, do you ''know'' what a wolf is?
* Chetney informing the group there was a secret code the wolves used which was, "[[Film/{{Babe}} Baa-Ram-Ewe]]". You can see Matt visibly trying to hold in his laughter and disappointment.
* When Chetney is asked by the Gorgynei to reveal his "true self", he makes a ''[[LargeHam show]]'' of it - a Magic Mike-style strip show of his own gnomish skin that culminates in [[Film/FlashDance dumping a branch-full of rainwater on his head]]. The Gorgynei all seem bemused by this, and when F.C.G. does Detect Thoughts on the leader, the first thought they get is "What the fuck is this dude?"
* The group is given extra pelts to keep them warm as they sleep in the lean-to overnight. Laudna is handed all of them and is knocked onto the ground almost immediately. Taliesin says it brings to mind the [[MemeticMutation "Why can't I hold all these limes?" meme.]]
--> '''Imogen:''' These pelts, um. Where'd you get them from? They're not from your people, right?\\
'''Matt:''' On the pelts, you see... [[JustJokingJustification Nah, just kidding.]]\\
'''Imogen:''' [[ScreamingAtSquick UUUUUUUGH!]]\\
'''Ashton:''' [[CrossesTheLineTwice That one's got a tattoo!]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 41: Call of the Wild]]
* Orym gets a reply from Dorian—this time from Robbie Daymond himself! It's a very sweet message lamenting that Dorian can't be there...and then ends "IsThisThingOn"
* Chetney comes across an odd mushroom and hands it to Fearne, who claims to know exactly what it is. One chomp later and Fearne is tripping balls as she sees Chetney's face distort and his voice warp; when Orym calls for her, he sounds like a chipmunk. She remains poisoned and out of it for the next 24 hours.
* As the leader of the group tells them how she communicates with the other creatures by showing off her strength Chetney lets out a gleeful, "Recognize the Alpha".
* One of the Gorgynei watching over the group helps Fearne, who takes his comments as flirtations, causing him to blush.
* The group discuss what kind of were-creature they would be: Ashton an alligator (to match his current skin tone), Orym a rabbit, Fearne a quokka, Imogen a horse (with Travis asking if she meant centaur), Laudna a rat and F.C.G. a fish so he could feel the water.
** Chetney jokes that he would be a cockatoo.
* Marisha rolls for that day's travel and rolls just high enough that they don't get into a combat situation, with everyone looking slightly disappointed at the results.
* As they enter the temple, the leader warns them not to take anything until they ask for permission. Cue half of the table looking over at [[GottaHaveItGonnaStealIt Fearne]].
* Ashton tries to compare his hammer to Annaline's. The rest of the group immediately starts laughing about him having "hammer envy".
-->'''Matt:''' It's maybe about two inches shorter than yours.\\
'''Sam:''' But it's thicker.\\
'''Taliesin:''' ''Stop it.''
* During Chetney's trial, he lashes out at the group. When he catches Laudna in his sight, she [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere immediately spider crawls up the walls]] and out of his reach.
** Fearne shifts into a wolf and tries to seduce Chetney. She even tries communicating with him, only to have all of her words come out as barks, which Chetney somehow still understands.
* F.C.G., as a Command, picks up a stick and yells "FETCH!" The Wisdom Save gets Chetney to notice and growl at the robot.
* After coming to, Chetney screams in horror as he sees the dagger poking out of his chest. Laudna wonders if she should take it out...before deciding against it and keeping the dagger in him. Chetney eventually rips it out on his own and howls in pain.
* Ashton walks over to Chetney, at first seeming to offer a hug, and then socks him in the face yelling, "Asshole! Asshole!" Ashton then finally collapses out of exhaustion.
* At the end of the episode, the group decide to strip naked and run outside together.
** This is followed by Orym receiving what appears to be a sign from Will and a blessing of the Wildmother herself in the form of a new sword. After he retrieves his new sword, [[MoodWhiplash he immediately shifts back into stripping his clothes and running after the others.]]
* [[https://youtu.be/IeRq79DA18o After the episode]], the cast levels up with Taliesin only rolling ''a three'' on his hit points on a [=d12=] while Travis somehow manages to roll three ones ''again!'' Thankfully, he manages to properly roll an eight on his fourth roll.[[note]]If they roll a one, they must reroll again.[[/note]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 42: The City of Floating Light]]
* Laudna asking Fearne for help magic isn't funny on its own, until you realize two things. 1. Fearne's specialty is fire. 2. In the level up video before this episode aired she took her fifth level in Sorcerer which let her get third level spells. The Chat and the table immediately knew that she took the legendary Fireball spell. Sure enough, she launched a fireball at Fearne which scorched everything around the two. Fearne just shrugs it off despite losing part of her hair.
** Then because Mister is immune to fire, he just sits on Fearne's shoulder blankly.
* Laudna and the others come upon a dead creature, and she attempts to stuff its heart into Pâté.
* F.C.G. expends 25 gold and a fourth-level spell slot to cast Divination...[[MundaneUtility to ask the Changebringer what he should do with his hand while gambling.]]
--> '''Matt:''' The whispering winds of the Changebringer drift through your mind, and you feel a calm summer breeze that drifts through fields of grass. The grass, freshly cut, like your namesake....and the sound of the wind goes... ''"...Fold."''
** FCG then proceeds to ''ignore her advice.'' After multiple sessions spent trying desperately to get a response, he spent a fourth-level spell to ask the goddess of luck what to do at a blackjack table, ''got her attention for the first time ever'' ...and then did the opposite of what she told him to do. The table lampshades this.
--> '''Matt:''' ''Ignoring the Changebringer,''' okay!
--> '''Travis:''' LET IT RIDE, BABY!
* Chetney starts gambling and winning a decent sum of money, but he starts getting so in over his head that he asks F.C.G. to get them one of the fanciest rooms for free since they've been spending so much.
** This leads to F.C.G. and Fearne asking for a room, with Fearne getting short with the desk clerk who doesn't take kindly to her. F.C.G. then offers to pay for the rooms (with Fearne paying since he has no money) but asks the clerk to not tell Chetney, quietly begging her to tell him the room was free if he ever asks. The table jokes the lady was filming them to get footage of them being terrible customers.
* The Hells continuously tip ten gold for all of their expensive purchases. The table laughs at this, calling the Hells assholes before clarifying that the players themselves are not like this to hotel staff in real life.
* Chetney calls for a three towered shrimp meal, with F.C.G. quietly messaging the front desk for it. Promising to foot the bill, and again not tell Chetney it has been paid for and it was a complimentary gift.
* A bit drunk, Ashton leans towards Pâté with a jovial attitude before it [[MoodWhiplash suddenly turns sinister]] when he threatens Delilah, telling her if she's in Pâté, he'll fucking kill her. Just the idea that Delilah is impersonating Pâté is a hilarious thought on its own.
** Pâté scuttles over to Laudna's shoulder and quizzically asks why Ashton suddenly threatened him. Laudna says that's just how Ashton makes friends, with Ashton smiling placidly and waving towards Pâté in the background.
* Because the Hells had shrimp as their main meal the night before, Liam jokes that when Orym went to use the bathroom, the Hells immediately steer clear from going near it.
--> '''Orym:''' All I eat is protein, you should know this.
* When the players realize they hadn't actually set foot in the city yet, Matt even lampshades it.
--> '''Matt:''' You're not even in the city yet, you're still at the airport!
* When Laudna lies to their guide that they're a performance troupe, Orym helps sell it by performing a silk rope routine and spins up in the air. Half of the room turns to look at him wondering what was going on while enjoying the show.
* The last few episodes have been taking ADayInTheLimelight in dark directions - Imogen finding her mother, Laudna facing her fate thanks to "D", Chetney dealing with his werewolf nature, and Orym briefly coming to terms with the loss of Will. This episode ends with F.C.G. facing his personal demon...[[BrickJoke Shithead, the bird who only shits on him.]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 43: Axiom Shaken]]
* Previously, whenever one of the players was out sick, Matt would take over playing their character for an episode until they returned. Taliesin is out sick for this episode, so Matt plays Ashton... except by Taliesin's request, Ashton [[StealthHiBye disappears 20 minutes in without a word]] to "follow a thing."
-->'''Sam:''' God, that's ''so'' Taliesin.
* Sam once again is shocked to hear that Fearne wears clothes.
* If there was ever any proof that these guys are just big dorks, look no further than the scene after they deal with FCG's bird. As Pate comes in, Ashley drinking off screen randomly spitakes, causing everyone except Matt to laugh as he was describing the scene. A few moments later, as they were cleaning up, Laura bonks her head on the table as she leans down to get rid of a tissue paper. This sets off Sam, who face faults onto his binder and apparently cracks his teeth on the dividers. This makes everyone to crack up more and forces Matt to actually stop and ask what's going on. Travis just wants the year to end.
** What's even funnier about this is that earlier in the episode, Travis at one point shifts his chair hard enough to squeak, making a noise that leads to Sam/FCG asking if he was okay since they assumed Travis straight up broke it. Travis then joked that it was the sound of Chetney breaking a femur. This episode is just fully chaotic in so many different ways.
** The preface of the first incident was Marisha pointing out the MoodDissonance of what Ashley was doing versus what her character was saying.
--->'''Ashley:''' ''(as Fearne)'' Accepting the darkness is... kinda fun. It's not as bad as people say.\\
'''Marisha:''' [[DeadpanSnarker As she sips from her gingerbread mug.]]\\
'''Ashley:''' ''([[SpitTake Spit Takes]])''
** Adding to this, is that Taleisin, the Fundamental Chaos Barbarian, wasn't there. So in a meta sense, he was keeping the chaos containe
* F.C.G. casts Fast Friends on one of the seminary's receptionists to get her to give them directions to some of the professors, and the Hells feel bad enough about this that they try to actually befriend her so when the spell wears off she won't be as upset. Laura and Sam compare it to romcoms like Film/WhenHarryMetSally and Film/LovePotionNumberNine. Liam immediately points out that ''all'' of those movies [[ValuesDissonance wouldn't fly in the modern day.]]
* While sneaking into one of the professor's homes, F.C.G. hides under Fearne's skirt. The others snark about all the stolen items they're going to find in there, and Ashley jokes that it's her [[WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaid1989 grotto]].
* When the Hells go through a translocation circle, they find themselves in the lab of Planerider Ryn, whose lab was earlier discovered by the Mighty Nein in Episode 129 of Campaign 2. Laura and Marisha nearly go ballistic...and Sam observes that Ashley had no reaction whatsoever.
-->'''Ashley:''' What's going on? I don't watch this show.
* Chetney drops his invisibility and introduces himself as "Planewalker Chetney."
-->'''Chetney:''' I used to be a rider, but not at this age.\\
'''Sam:''' Do you have a plane walker?\\
'''Liam:''' Yeah, it's a [[{{Pun}} plain walker.]]
* F.C.G. asks if Ryn could see Chetney the whole time he was invisible; she could, but she wanted to see what he would do. F.C.G. asks what he was doing, and she replies, "Mainly just touching himself".
* Imogen decides to contact Mori, with Fearne insisting Imogen refer to her using the nickname her Nana called her, "Fearnie-Bear-Cub-Banana". When Imogen recites this name, Fearne gives her an enthusiastic thumbs up.
** Then there's the actual message from Mori. She sounds like a withered hag, glad to hear her granddaughter wants to visit and calling her, Bear-Banana-Baby. How does Imogen react to hearing Mori?
--> '''Fearne:''' Did you hear her?\\
'''Imogen:''' Oh, I heard her.\\
'''Fearne:''' Isn't she just?\\
'''Imogen:''' She sounds ''so'' warm.\\
'''Fearne:''' Aw, I miss her so bad!
** Off to the side as Imogen repeats to Orym how "warm" Mori sounded, she secretly messages him telepathically.
--> '''Imogen:''' Really, just the warmest- (''in Orym's head'') [-Dear God, she sounded like, ''fucking'' terrifying... ''Really'' fucking scary.-]\\
'''Orym:''' (''beat'') Well, that's one option.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Episode 44: Bawdy Basement Belligerence]]
* The first part of the episode is like the Mighty Nein Reunion episode... but somehow even ''hornier'' than that!
* The group hears footsteps on the floor above them, and they start to panic on their options, with them repeating, "Are we running or fucking?!" They then decide, [[IndyPloy in the spur of the moment]], to act like they're filming a porn movie with KinkyRolePlaying, and hope that their enemies will be so weirded out that they just leave. Bell's Hells is so committed to the bit that it almost works.
** Cue Ashley taking off her jacket due to it being too hot, but says that Fearne does take her dress off. Marisha then says Laudna rips off her blouse.
--->'''Marisha:''' I'm panicking!
** Chetney, in werewolf form, pretends to be an actor about to enter the scene, including saying "I'm here to fix your pool!" Cue the entire cast {{Corpsing}}.
---> '''Sam:''' We are fully committed to fucking.\\
'''Ashley:''' We are?\\
'''Sam:''' Yeah.
** Imogen's BadBadActing.
---> '''Imogen:''' What's the matter boys? We're just getting started!\\
'''Fearne:''' Ohhh....
** When Chentney suggested this idea, watch Matt's reaction. First he tilts his head like "Travis what the hell are you doing?" Then when he realizes what's about to happen, he looks up to the ceiling with the look that says "Why me?"
* Imogen tries to claim that they didn't know the house was occupied and how they hard time finding places to "do this kind of thing". The man seems to almost fall for it before looking at Imogen's arms and noticing her markings. As he starts to ask about it, Imogen darts out of the room.
** Laudna noticing this (in her form of dread) yells out, "My scene partner!!" and follows Imogen.
* F.C.G. uses "Command" and Sam initially has his order be to "fap". You can see the exact moment Matt gives up on trying to reign his table in.
--> '''Matt:''' (''beat'') Players make the creative choices they wish... I'm not going to deny them that... Do you wish to command them to fap?
** Sam and Matt trying to work out F.C.G's command and the logistics of it.
---> '''Sam:''' It lasts for a round.\\
'''Matt:''' That's six seconds.\\
'''Sam:''' [[SelfDeprecation That's how long I last]].
** Sam then changes it to "Command" and the mage starts yelling out random commands to their group. Towards the end of the battle, they yell out a command again, and then elaborate that they are actually giving them a ''real'' command this time.
* Just the utter confusion of the enemy mage. He and his compatriots started their day intending to hunt down some supposed enemies to their order, then they walk into what appears to be an ''orgy'' involving an Exaltant that devolves into a fight, and when he teleports from one part of the fight into another with a monstrous nude undead lady on the ground, a horse poking through a smashed door, and a werewolf holding a flaming scythe almost in his face, all he can do is scream, "''What the fuck is going on?!?! Who are you?!''"
** And then the horse barges in and dislocates his shoulder with a kick, leaving him screaming in pain and disbelief.
** And finally to top it all off, his last-ditch escape attempt has him crashing through the kitchen window to sprawl on the ground in agony, and then the werewolf jumps out, impales him with the scythe, picks him up with it, and chucks him back inside.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 45: Ominous Lectures]]
* Taliesin is back after being absent for two weeks, and is immediately caught off guard when Matt gets to the orgy part of the recap.
-->'''Taliesin:''' I leave for ''one''-- okay.\\
'''Matt:''' Welcome back, Taliesin!\\
'''Taliesin:''' What is ''wrong'' with you people?\\
'''Sam:''' We lost our moral compass, apparently.\\
'''Taliesin:''' [[SelfDeprecation That is the most horrifying thing I've ever heard you say.]] We're in ''such'' trouble.
* Imogeon sends a message to Ashton. Ashton responds very snarkily asking where ''they'' are instead of telling them where ''he'' is.
** The reason the group took a long rest last episode was to allow Imogen to regain her sorcery points, letting her recover a 3rd level spell slot to message Ashton with, meaning Ashton's terrible reply forced her to burn a 4th level slot. [[{{Troll}} Taliesin]] immediately lets out a BigYes
** Imogen's message back to Ashton opens with a loud, long-suffering sigh.
--->'''Liam:''' Sigh is one word.\\
'''Taliesin:''' Feels like five.
*** Imogen tells Ashton to meet them at the seminary. Despite having 25 words, ''and'' having forced her to burn a higher level slot, Ashton's reply is just "Okay."
---->'''Imogen:''' I'm gonna murder them.
* Ashton shows up in a chef's outfit, with a {{Glamour}} on, beaten up and covered in so much food it takes Imogen multiple rounds of Prestidigitation to get him clean. The story of what happened is as insane as can be expected from Ashton, involving accidentally telling an old contact of his a bunch of incriminating information and agreeing to do a job in exchange for her silence, robbing a mob boss's house, kidnapping his Kenku "living ledger", being captured by the mobsters and waking up tied up in the kitchen, and an attempt at torturing them for information before the Sentries bust the door down and raid the place. The best part is when he gets to the end and eagerly describes how his witness statement got him some favors from the Sentries, [[ExplainExplainOhCrap only to realize mid-description]] that he was under a glamour at the time, meaning they owe a favor to ''[[DidNotThinkThisThrough a false identity he can never use again]].''
* Then as the group recap to Ashton they had tried to stage an orgy, he looks between everyone and is clearly wondering what ''he'' missed out on.
* At the end of his meeting with Professor Vitro, F.C.G. makes one small request: to have what's essentially an Easy Bake Oven installed in his stomach. Vitro, who had previously warned that F.C.G.'s power core could level a building if it is messed with, immediately and excitedly gets to work.
** Laura has not forgotten Sam's dirty mind.
--->'''Laura:''' Why did I think you were gonna ask for some sort of...\\
'''Sam:''' Teledildonic device?\\
'''Laura:''' Yeah, yeah, that's ''exactly'' what I thought it was gonna be.\\
'''Sam:''' That would be on brand.
** Matt grows increasingly uncomfortable as Sam explains what a teledildonic device is (it's a sex toy you control over the internet), and quickly tries to continue the scene. He's midway through his first sentence when Marisha utters the words "[[{{Pun}} Fresh light]]", at which point Matt pauses to yell "Stop it!"
* After Ashton, Orym and Chetney spot Ludinus leaving the building, they try to intimidate the desk clerk into letting them in. Orym gives her "the nicest intimidation possible", Ashton threatens her with a spoon that is covered in either tomato sauce or blood, and Chetney starts carving her likeness into his own chest, whereupon [[CallBack Ashton smacks him on the tit]].
* Chetney tries to pick up Ludinus's "old man scent", asking if he smells any Icy Hot or old man colognes. He rolls a 5 on Perception, and the party rules that Ashton still smells so strongly of garlic that it covers any other smells in the room.
* Orym/Liam, in deference to F.C.G., jokingly describes the world as flat. Matt and the cast are very unamused, and Ashton gives Orym a rock-handed DopeSlap.
-->'''Taliesin:''' 19 to hit. Not kidding.\\
[...]\\
'''Ashton:''' ''(whacks Orym)'' Knock it off.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 46: Night at the Ligament Manor]]
* After reading the ''[[VideoGame/{{Persona3}} Persona]] [[VideoGame/{{Persona4}} games]]'' ads, Sam just drops the controller while having his hands on his forehead chuckling, Matt noting "The layers of meta," and it being a good reminder of when they started their careers (and that's not even including both Travis and Sam being in those games as well), and Laura has her head on Ashley's shoulder.
* While Laura's busting out her Rise voice, Taliesin was caught off-guard (he's already heard Liam's Akihiko voice while they were playing ''Persona 3'' on ''Critical Role's'' [=EverythingIsContent=] show before) that he had to cover his mouth.
* At the end of Laura's promotion for the new Trinket slippers, Taliesin asks [[IncrediblyLamePun "Why have bare feet when you can have...bear feet?"]] The entire cast starts groaning before he can even finish.
-->'''Marisha:''' I can't believe we didn't think of that sooner!\\
'''Taliesin:''' I can't believe you let me say it out loud.
* Imogen realizes she never filled the rest of the Hells in on what they learned in the Seminary, and proposes they have a long talk later where they fill everyone in.
-->'''F.C.G.:''' [[BreakingTheFourthWall But we already know from metagaming]]...\\
'''Fearne:''' What's that?\\
'''Travis:''' That's Nana's ''third'' face.
* When Morrie is asked what her favorite item in her collection is, she says it's the heart of the lion guard. Without missing a beat:
--> '''Laura and Sam:''' [[WesternAnimation/TheLionGuard Hevi kabisa...]]
** Travis remarks that Ronin will watch this one day in the future and tearfully say ''"Kion?"''
* Morrie reveals she has another face... on her stomach. Fearne affectionately calls the stomach "Tummy Nana".
* In reference to Ashton's kitchen-based offscreen adventures, Sam has decorated his flask with a fake poster of Ashton in a chef's outfit with the words "Bells Series/HellsKitchen" above him.
-->'''Taliesin:''' I love you.
* Fearne showing the group around and takes them to her room. Ashley notes that the curtains are made from flesh, greatly grossing out her friends.
--> '''Fearne:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint It's fine. I painted them.]]
** In the garden, there are bushes in the forms of people. Fearne assures her friends it's a normal topiary she cut as a hobby. Matt lets the table know the party can hear low gasps and groans.
* When the group first meets Dr. Nesbitt, FCG, already afraid of birds, starts a ReactiveContinuousScream with Nesbitt before eventually trying to use their saw blade on the talking bird. Ashton can be seen grabbing FCG's saw blade arm while Fearne stands between the robot and the bird.
** Mister likewise shows that he isn't fond of Nesbitt, as his immediate response is to draw his gun and try and deck the bird the second he lands on Fearne's shoulder.
** In reaction to this, Chetney just starts placing bets on who'd win: the owl or Mister.
--> '''Laudna:''' I mean I don't know. The owl is on its home turf, so I'll take that bet.
* Dr. Nesbitt gets distracted at seeing a worm and flies to snatch it up. It ends up being FCG's "hair" and he yells at the bird to get off of him.
* Fearne assuring Dr. Nesbitt she didn't replace him with Mister, and Chetney yells, "That's not what I heard". Fearne hushes him and assures Dr. Nesbitt she can "love a lot".
* Everyone immediately points out how Dr. Nesbitt sounds similar to Mr.Owl.
* Imogen asks Dr.Nesbitt if he's aware of a large undead bird that keeps coming back to life. Cue Ashton, [[LockedOutOfTheLoop who was absent from the entire Shithead reveal]], looks at the others in utter confusion.
* FCG gets spotted by the enemy and immediately blows it with the first sentence out of their mouth.
--> '''FCG:''' Don't shoot! We're friendly-
--> '''Ashley:''' ''We''?!
** FCG then tries to overcompensate by claiming they refer to themselves using the "royal we".
* Imogen rolls low on attacking their enemies. The table jokes that because the enemies are centaurs, [[AllGirlsLikePonies Imogen]] wouldn't want to hurt them.
* Laura, Marisha, and Ashley were trying to plan their attack only for them to realize too late that there's only one centaur left on the field. Ashley at first didn't want to kill the dude but decided to roll two more times while telling said centaur to run (because she's casting Scorching Ray) to the laughter of the cast. And when all three hit, the poor centaur ended up suffering 65 points of damage from [[CombinationAttack Imogen's Witchbolt (which she had to spend a Sorcery Point to double the distance of her attack), Laudna's two Eldritch Blasts, and Fearne's Scorching Ray.]] For context, [[NoKillLikeOverkill the centaur's hit points doesn't even reach 20]].
* After the battle, Laura realizes that by using her Sorcery Point, "her shard went off". She ended up rolling a 63 that ended up exhaling a Fog Cloud from Imogen's mouth and is always constantly on for an hour. But when she shuts her mouth, Matt describes it as though her mouth starts bloating.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 47: The Fey Key]]
* Laudna shifts Pate into a bird and sends him ahead to scout. He shifts in the most disturbing way possible, prompting groans from the rest of the group, and when Laudna tries to throw him like a paper airplane, he immediately falls to the ground.
* Matt introduces a new creature called an Eremad, a massive, dog-like beast with a black hole where its face should be. Taliesin gets very excited and announces he'll be writing some poetry about that later -- the rest of the episode is interspersed with the rest of the cast thinking of increasingly terrible phrases that rhyme with the word "Eremad".
* Chetney runs a distraction by shifting into his wolf form and getting one of the guards to chase him. The guard does, briefly, but gives up after deciding that Chetney is not worth his time. Chetney immediately starts whimpering like a kicked dog.
-->'''Chetney:''' ''(howls)''\\
'''Imogen:''' Oh no, Chet got caught!\\
'''Chetney:''' ''(howling sobs)''\\
'''Imogen:''' Oh. Chet got embarrassed.
* While breaking into the keep that holds the Malleus Key, Bells Hells use the portable hole in the most cartoony way possible, after distracting one guard away from the post they banish the other and the lay the portable hole on the ground under the door. They use the hole to go under the door and then cancel the banishment causing the guard to return and simply fall into the hole, Wile E Coyote style before the simply folding up the hole trapping him before he can raise the alarm.
* At about 2 hours in, Laura says she needs to pee really bad, which the group reacts to as if Imogen also needed to go. Sam suggests that they cast [[IncrediblyLamePun Piss Without A Trace]].
* Ashton keeps pulling more and more NoodleImplements out from their offscreen kitchen adventures. This time it's a whole tub of pasta dough, which they nicked along with a bunch of other food items. The dough is used to plug up a lock.
-->'''Travis:''' Is it still malleable, though?\\
'''Taliesin:''' It's in a container man, I'm not a savage.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 48: An Exit Most Fraught]]
* Chetney goes to try the alerting horn that only the people he chooses can hear. Liam's phone goes off and the table joke that the horn sounded really weird.
* Just as everyone is prepared to get through the portal ASAP, Marisha hurriedly reminds the group of Morri's advice to smear mud on their forehead and cheeks. Remembering her warning that lest they do as she says, they'd likely pop out of the Fey Realm 1000 years into the future. Everyone immediately panics as they swipe mud across themselves.
* The Hells interactions and payments for the tollkeeper. He grabs each of them after their gifts satisfy him and tosses them through the portal like he was tossing out garbage.
** Ashton is surprisingly quick to come up with a rhyme and offers up the porcelain thimble that he stole from Fearne early on.
--> '''Fearne:''' (''beat'') Wait a minute? Wait. Hang on a minute.
** Laura has a hard time coming up with a rhyme, and her first gift with the pot holder failed. When she finally has one, she barely passes the tollkeeper's rhyming rules.
--> '''Liam:''' Have we found Bailey's Achille's Heel?\\
'''Laura:''' In my brain I had a better rhyme 'til I started talking!
** Orym gifts an oil lamp, to which the tollkeeper [[ExtremeOmnivore simply eats]]. He then yoinks Orym up, holding his head like a basketball and tosses him through the gate.
** After Laudna gifts her item, the tollkeeper compliments her style, but calls the other Hells crappy.
** Chetney offers a rocking horse.
--> '''Tollkeeper:''' I like this horse you offer me. Better handled with a tweezer. I think it's time you went a head, you little stupid geezer.
** Fearne messes up on creating a rhyme, leading the creature to grow larger. He then suggests that he could take Mister's new gun as an exchange if she had nothing else to offer.
--> '''Fearne:''' (''[[TranquilFury quietly]]'') [[MamaBear You wouldn't dare]].
** Ashley sifts through her list of items in a panic. When she finally offers up a gold skull key to the tollkeeper she rhymes this:
--> '''Fearne:''' Here, I have a simple gold skeleton key. But I must tell you, it's not good of a present as me.\\
'''Sam:''' Are you giving him your body?
** FCG asks Chetney to drop a beat and beat boxes to the tollkeeper before presenting his gift.
--> '''FCG:''' (''being tossed'') Wiggy-wiggy scratch!
* Just as the tollkeeper tosses Fearne through the portal, he turns to the bird and yells, "You weren't invited!"
* Matt describing the day trip for the Hells before pointedly looking at Sam and saying this:
--> '''Matt:''' The [[PunctuatedForEmphasis rotation, of Exandria]], as a ''sphere''.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 49: The Aurora Grows]]
* Orym continues to double down on Exandria being flat, to everyone else's dismay.
-->'''Taliesin:''' ''(heavy sigh)'' Give me strength...\\
'''Matt:''' I can make a Meteor Swarm anytime, Liam.
* Ashley is very dismayed at the quality of her notes.
--> '''Ashley:''' I just have "Orgreo, mobster. Doesn't have a leg, but has a Kenku?" I don't know what that means.
* Orym pulls out the Sending Stone to message Dorian. Liam demonstrates this by picking up his half-eaten cookie.
-->'''Taliesin:''' You've been really going at that stone.\\
'''Laura:''' ''(as Imogen)'' Orym, that's a cookie.\\
''(Liam takes a bite)''\\
'''Travis:''' No, your beautiful teeth! Oh, god!\\
'''Taliesin:''' Takes out the edible. Contacts the Feywild.\\
'''Liam:''' ''(into the cookie)'' Dorian...\\
''(everyone [[{{Corpsing}} corpses]])''
* FCG believing EVERYTHING because of that coin and then asking “Are you good?” “Are you neutral?” “Are you bad?” and the answers being “no” “no” “yes” is the funniest way this could have gone.
* FCG revealing he has an internal oven and bakes when he's "aroused"? Disturbing, yet amusing. Imogen (but really Laura) asking, "Why are these cookies so salty?" HILARIOUS!
-->'''Liam:''' Hi, 20-year-old Ronin!\\
'''Travis:''' 2039, he's gonna be like, "Mom, what the ''fuck?"''
* As the Hells discuss gathering allies, Fearne (played by Ashley) makes sure to mention that [[ButHeSoundsHandsome the cleric they met in Whitestone seemed very powerful.]]
* The Hells invite Ira to join them in their great battle and he agrees. Once Ira appears on the Silver Sun, the entire crew look like they're trying not to shit themselves.
* As a bird prepares to attack her midair, Fearne chooses to polymorph it - into a goldfish. The table breaks out into laughter while Travis temporarily leaves the table.
--> '''Travis:''' Have we learned ''nothing''??
** Thankfully, the windstorm is so strong it just blows the bird-goldfish away. Liam jokes half a mile away a family is out camping and suddenly a goldfish crash lands near them.
--> '''Marisha:''' (''raising a fist in the air'') ''Vindication''! For the fucking goldfish!
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 50: Red Moon Rising]]
* Fearne manages to steal Ira's eyeglass when he was busy speaking to FCG. Later on, the Hells ask Ira for an update on how close they were. He calmly responds he seems to have misplaced his eyeglass and Fearne slowly takes it out to return it. Ira is then suddenly up in Fearne's face, with her calmly saying [[BlatantLies he dropped it]]. Ira for the most part is very amused by this.
* Chetney breaking it to Xandis that they may have to crash the Silver Sun, but promises them they'd get a new ship in return. Matt notes the "eye twitch" Xandis has at hearing this information.
--> '''Xandis:''' You're saying... you want me to crash my baby?
* Fearne then offers to be the one to steer the ship when they were ready, and Xandis allows her to steer to see how she would do. Ashley rolls low and after nearly flipping the ship, Xandis runs back and takes control at the helm.
* As the group prepare to split off into their groups, Ashton runs over to Fearne and hugs her... only to immediately get caught trying to steal something off of Fearne.
--> '''Fearne:''' (''cheerfully'') What are you looking for?\\
'''Ashton:''' ... Something personal and irreplaceable?
** Fearne decides to give Ashton a kiss on the head.
--->'''Ashton:''' Well fuck, now that's just really hard to steal back, isn't it?\\
'''Fearne:''' Well, you asked for something... [[TheDitz What did you ask for again?]]
* When Laudna got the HDYWTDT on the Warder, it was done through a Shocking Grasp delivered by Pate, meaning this was technically ''his'' first kill.
** What's even more funny is what Pâté says as she throws him.
--> '''Pâté:''' Here I come little guy- ''big guy''!
* After managing to sneak into the Ruby Vanguard's compound, Bells' Hells run into Beau and Caleb from [[WebVideo/CriticalRoleCampaignTwo The Mighty Nein]]. Orym uses Know Your Enemy to do a check on both of their class levels; Matt just replies "[[{{Understatement}} Higher than yours]]."
* Ashley is giddy hearing that Beau was around and Travis immediately says she should get Beau with Fearne. Ashley giggles back that she was already on it.
--> '''Travis:''' Maybe you can have two different characters, y'know, ''[grunts and flails his arms about in a vaguely suggestive manner]''\\
'''Ashley:''' Oh, it's already happening up here. It's fun times.\\
'''Travis:''' Be disloyal with yourself.
** Ashley sounds like she's really hoping to meet Beau as Fearne.
--> '''Ashley:''' I am ''so'' jealous! I would have flirted so hard!
* The table keep pestering Matt if the "dirt wizard" was with Beau and Matt looks around saying they don't see a dirt wizard. When Caleb does appear, Liam jokes Caleb "Just crawled out of a big pile of shit."
** It's also worth noting that as soon as Caleb appears, Liam jumps out of his chair and throws himself onto the ground out of sheer excitement.
* Chetney keeps antagonizing Beau with her getting incredibly close to just decking Chetney right then and there.
--> '''Chetney:''' She looks like an asshole.
* It's revealed that Beau and Caleb were part of the team trying to take out the Malleus Key in the Shadowfell, but didn't succeed in destroying it before having to flee.
-->'''Imogen:''' Should've blown it up. We blew ours up.\\
'''Beau:''' Yeah, well maybe it's because you blew yours up that we had a hard time with ours.\\
'''Chetney:''' I'm sure that's what it was.\\
'''Beau:''' You shut the fuck up, Wolfie.
* Before leaving, Caleb tosses Chetney a Sending stone. Chetney catches it in his mouth and eats it.
-->'''Caleb:''' If you have an important bit of information... [[DeadpanSnarker wait about eight hours.]]
** Immediately after, Chetney hacks the stone back up and hands it to Laudna, who picks it up between two fingers and wipes it on her dress.
* Just like in Campaign 2, Caleb's GratuitousGerman results in a MondegreenGag.
-->'''Imogen:''' Out of curiosity, do you, per chance, have the ability to heal people?\\
'''Caleb:''' ''Nein.''\\
'''Orym:''' Just nine of us?\\
'''Caleb:''' ''(while Matt [[{{Corpsing}} corpses]])'' There's only seven of you...\\
'''Chetney:''' [[CallBack We lost two on the way over.]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 51: The Apogee Solstice]]
* The sponsor for this episode is ''VideoGame/OctopathTravelerII''. Sam reads the ad script like an old-school made-for-TV product's infomercial, including saying that [[SlicesDicesAndMakesJulienneFries the video game cleans stains off your T-shirts and slices up your vegetables]], along with [[StylisticSuck very badly-imposed visual effects on the screen]]. At the end of the ad-read, Matt says that [[OurLawyersAdvisedThisTrope he is legally obligated to tell you]] that ''Octopath Traveler II'' can't actually clean stains or cut vegetables.[[labelnote:Explanation]]Due to "truth in advertising" laws, statements like the ones Sam made -- even though they were obviously made as a joke -- have to have a disclaimer somewhere that they are indeed just kidding.[[/labelnote]]
* As F.C.G. and Fearne are getting ready to leave, Ira leans in close and whispers to F.C.G. that the Malleus Key looks like it's missing a lens, just like the one Ashton smashed. Taliesin looks ''incredibly'' smug.
-->'''Travis:''' Don't fucking act like-- ''(wheeze)''\\
'''Taliesin:''' All part of the plan!
* Orym is ''not'' happy that Fearne and F.C.G. ditched the ship.
-->'''Orym:''' What's going on with Xandis?!\\
'''Fearne:''' Xandis and Ira are taking care of it! The two of them are gonna do it.\\
'''F.C.G.:''' The two of them are actually getting along great! They have a lot in common, they both live in the now.\\
'''Orym:''' Ira's a ''fey sociopath!''\\
'''F.C.G.:''' [...] ''(gestures to Fearne)'' Hey, watch who you're calling a fey sociopath in front of, y'know?\\
'''Orym:''' She's ''our'' fey sociopath!
* In an otherwise incredibly bleak episode, at one point the topic of Pate's nuts comes up, or rather, how big they are. The cast is a bit dumbfounded but Laura brings up that they're probably pretty big since rats have large nuts, much to Travis' absolute confusion as he wonders why she knows that, and she explains she's raised hamsters which have large nuts. The ultimate conclusion is that Pate still has his nuts, since Laudna didn't remove them, but they're definitely old and shriveled.
--> '''Pate:''' May not be the proudest of raisins, but they're my raisins.
* Laura's lost her voice for this episode, so when Imogen tries contacting FCG psychically while he and Fearne are in a dust storm, he doesn’t recognize the voice and immediately assumes a demon is trying to contact him, with him and Fearne trying to dispel the voice.
* FCG inhabiting a robot near Ryn tries to go over and lift her up. He instead knocks down some large slabs of stone instead that end up crushing Ryn beneath it. When everyone turns to look at FCG, they hold two rocks in their hands and give a confused shoulder shrug. Surprisingly, he manages to deceive most of the people around him.
** Even better, he manages to fool the generals standing not too far away, as they all rolled low enough to not connect FCG's antics with the multiple sabotage attempts that occurred in the past hour.
* Sam's gas can has a bingo sheet for possible cameos, with options ranging from probable, such as Keyleth and Beau, to utterly impossible, such as Molly. But what makes it hilarious is how one of the squares says "Vax", likely as a joke since he was famously the first player character to be killed, but Vax ''actually shows up''.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 52: Far From the Others]]
* As Chetney, Imogen, F.C.G. and Fearne have been abruptly transported from the sweltering Hellcatch Valley to the arctic around Uthodurn, they are immediately freezing their asses off. Imogen tries to tuck her hand into her Taste of Tal'dorei pot holder, only to remember she gave that to the gatekeeper in the Feywild. Instead, she wraps her hands in her "Whitestone is for Lovers" T-shirt.
* Aabria Iyengar, as Chetney's ex Deanna, wastes no opportunity to roast Chetney based on their past together - Travis is visibly and comically mortified for large portions of the episode. Careful observation of the two following her introduction, before her name is mentioned, will show the moment she points out Deanna's name on her character sheet to Travis, who pulls a great DoubleTake before looking at Aabria, who smugly nods.
--> '''Aabria:''' (''as Travis giggles uncomfortably'') I told you I was coming for your ass.
** Imogen telepathically messages Chetney and asks if he was doing okay. Chetney squeaks a terrified, "help".
* Using Shape Change for the first time to fly, Ashley specifies that rather than go as a giant eagle, Fearne becomes a giant shoebill.
* Deanna casually going into her backstory of how she was brutally killed and then brought back to life. FRIDA tells Deanna she doesn't have to talk if it makes her uncomfortable, but Fearne interjets and insists Deannae tell them about her past.
--> '''Deanna:''' Got better.
* FRIDA checks in on Deanna to see how she's doing.
--> '''Deanna:''' [[PunctuatedForEmphasis I. Am. Freaking out.]]
* Thanks to Fearne's Pass Without A Trace and a Rogue multiclass, FRIDA rolls a 39 for stealth.
-->'''Christian:''' ''[[WesternAnimation/BatmanTheAnimatedSeries I am the night.]]''
* As the party notices Imogen's VolcanicVeins are turning red at her hands, and are now reaching up to her ears, they decide to check if they have spread to her breasts.
-->'''Imogen:''' I have lightning titties!
* As Deanna learns about Chetney's werewolf situation, Aabria rolls and says she "laughs in monster fucker".
* Though the Chetney vs FRIDA fight is pretty grim, it does have a couple gems.
** Just the concept of a robot vs werewolf fight is pretty over the top and hilarious.
-->'''Sam:''' Robot versus werewolf! ''This'' is high fantasy!
** FCG casts Calm Emotions on Deanna when she prepares to go murder Chetney, and though it works, it does not change how she feels, so she calmly states she is going to rip out his spine and chew on it.
** After the fight, Matt instructs Christian to roll a constitution saving throw for FRIDA. The result is not stated, but him putting his head in his hands while Laura jumps out of her chair is pretty telling. The cast then wonders how it would even be possible to have an aeormaton werewolf, suggesting it would be something like a robot dog toy.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 53: Ripples]]
* Imogen, concerned about Chetney's loss of control, asks what if he'd ran into other travelers into the night, and he responds with typical Chetney bluntness.
--> '''Chetney:''' [[BrutalHonesty They're fucking dead.]]
* The group tries to pose as scholars and the guard questions their credentials. [[OlderThanTheyLook Deanna]] gets heated and calls him "young man", and Matt describes the guard as an old looking dude.
* Deanna apparently misheard the group when they talked about the Apogee Solstice, as she refers to it as "Applebees Soulcycle".
* In the throne room is a giant bull creature, and Fearne attempts to call it over so she can pet it. The bull runs her over for massive damage. Fearne still wants to pet it.
* After the group manages to lead the bull out of the city, Chetney is still in the throne room, raiding it for all its worth. He even carves his initials on the wooden throne.
* Then as soldiers come in, Chetney had clawed himself to have a cover story ready, and starts wailing for medical treatment. The guard has no reason to not believe him.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 54: Treacherous Toys]]
* The group get a hero's welcome for stopping the bull, but one dwarf grandmother side-eyes them and tells her grandchild it had to have been a conspiracy and the group actually brought the bull into the city. The table makes a "there it is" comment.
--> '''Christian:''' (''laughing'') That's like my Puerto Rican grandmother.
* In Deanna's home, Chetney tries to suggest they sleep in the same room, with Deanna curtly telling him to sleep on the couch. She shares her room with Fearne and Imogen, with Ashley joking they were having a pillow fight.
* As Matt goes to declare they have a long rest, Sam conveniently times revealing his gas can to show a picture of apparently Matt at a Chuck E Cheeses. Then Sam takes off his jacket to reveal he got a shirt made with the same image. The table loses it as Matt threatens to kill the heal bot as revenge.
-->'''Christian:''' Before you do whatever you're gonna do with him, allow me to leave the bedroom.\\
[...]\\
'''Travis:''' ''Some'' people get a full night's rest. Some people get five levels of exhaustion.
* The Hell's meet Oltgar's benefactor (and the one who drove the wedge between Chetney and Oltgar in the first place), Drixlich — and they immediately hate him. Imogen purposefully says his name wrong as "dick lick" and the others do whatever they can to stealthily antagonize him.
* Sam has trouble telling the difference between horizontal and vertical movement and Aabria exasperatedly mutters "Child actors..." The whole table bursts out laughing.
-->'''Matt:''' Careful, that's half the cast.
-->'''Aabria:''' I said what the fuck I said!
* Fearne manages to polymorph the giant spider monster in Drixlich's room into its grub form, a cute little squishy thing with huge eyes and a mouth; it tries to bite Imogen but just ends up tickling her instead of damaging her. Fearne suggests they leave the grub here so when Drixlich comes back in thirty minutes, that will be his problem.
* As the time for the polymorph is running out, Fearne dashes out of town, with on-lookers thinking she's carrying a baby. Ashley then decides to slide the baby down a cliff side (she descibres it as "plinko it down the cliff") and then immediately dashes back towards the gates once it reverts back to its original form and gives chase. The guards are momentarily stunned at this rapid series of events to say the least.
--> '''Fearne:''' Open the gates! ''Open the gates''! (''gates begin to close'') Faster, faster! ''Close it faster!''
** As it gets shot down by the guards, Matt jokes that it weakly calls Fearne "Mom?" before it gets absolutely annihilated.
** The others quickly point out that the people of Uthodurn just witnessed one of their "heroes" [[NotWhatItLooksLike run out of the city with a baby, and come back with no baby and a giant spider chasing her.]]
* Fearne's reaction to it all is very ''Fearne''.
--> '''Fearne:''' I'm a terrible person! (''beat'') I walk back inside the city.
* A version of Santa is now canon in the Critical Role lore.
* We get a new RunningGag when Fearne points out that the people who help maintain FRIDA could get Fresh modded with proper robot legs like he always wanted, and Fresh brings up how their monowheel could retract if needed. Unfortunately the appearance of a monowheel hanging between the legs looks like something else...
--> '''Matt:''' We're gonna have to censor that.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 55: Hope Within History]]
* The entire RoboRomance between F.C.G and F.R.I.D.A, while also heartwarming, triggers some incredible reactions.
** When F.R.I.D.A. kissess F.C.G., F.C.G. leans into the kiss. Cue Laura miming them reciprocating with a ''lot'' of tongue.
--->'''Matt:''' [[RageBreakingPoint THERE'S NO TONGUE!]]\\
'''Aabria:''' Matt, let him have his art.
** As F.C.G is being opened up for a tune-up in Uthodurn's workshop, they ask F.R.I.D.A to look away. F.R.I.D.A responds by ''removing their face plate'', which F.C.G immediately stops.
** ''This'' exchange:
---> '''Imogen:''' What happened?\\
'''FCG:''' More than what happened with [[CallBack you and Pretty.]]
** Deanna, Fearne and Imogen listen in on them through her house's "thin walls". Sam trolls them ''hard'' by making as many InnocentInnuendo as he can. Aabria says that whatever they're doing, in Deanna's head it's ''extremely'' graphic.
** F.R.I.D.A asks to draw F.C.G, so Sam "poses like one of your French Aeormatons". Matt loses it.
* Deanna takes her sweater off, revealing that she's built "like a Pixar mom".
-->'''Aabria:''' Tiny upper body, absolutely ''dump truck'' ass.
* Fearne plays ShipperOnDeck for Chetney and Deanna in a very ''Fearne'' way: by telling Chetney that if he doesn't make a move on her, ''she'' will.
* In the morning, Deanna makes breakfast with goat milk-based gravy. While not that ridiculous, Ashley then declares that Fearne provided the goat milk. The table loses it, and Matt has to walk away for a moment.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 56: By Goat or By Boat]]
* During the recap, Travis leads the entire table into doing the Taylor Swift screaming goat meme.
* Imogen gains two points of exhaustion due to the chill of an ongoing blizzard, owing to the fact that despite buying a new outfit she is still dressed for Marquesian weather, which naturally isn't suitable for the climate of [[GrimUpNorth northern Wildemount]]. Also, Laura's explanation for such a strange fashion choice?
-->'''Laura:''' I learned from Mica that [[InsaneTrollLogic if you're dressed hot, you can't get cold.]]\\
'''Aabria:''' That's the truth. [[ShamelessFanserviceGirl Hoes don't get cold!]]
* With a successful Con save, Fearne simply shakes off the blizzard and is sitting comfortably with the goats. According to Sam, she is also drinking milk -- while he is miming Fearne squirting milk in her mouth through udders in a way that is ''very'' NSFW.
** And then you remember that Fearne's goat is called Donnie ''Boy''.
-->'''Travis:''' Donnie Boy comes over and he asks, "Would you like some--" (''laughs hysterically'')\\
'''Aabria:''' Is Donnie Boy the goat from ''[[Film/TheWitch The VVitch]]''? (yes, she pronounces it with two Vs) "Wouldst thou like the taste of butter?"
* Deanna starts getting curious about what's been going on between Fresh and FRIDA, whereupon Sam realises that Fresh has every right to suspect the same between Deanna and Chetney.
-->'''Fresh:''' Are you gonna love 'im and leave 'im? Are you gonna... bed 'm and dead 'im?\\
'''Aabria:''' [[LampshadeHanging One more!]]\\
'''Fresh:''' [[RuleOfThree Are you gonna...]] [[PrecisionFStrike fuck 'im and chuck 'im?]]\\
(mass meltdown ensues)
* In the lead up to the goat killing in the next part, Matt describes that the raft they end up building was too small for their goats to ride on the boats. Imogen thought they were smaller goats like the ones you see at the zoo. Matt has to empphasis three times they were Riding goats. Imogen clearly needs her non existant glasses.
* BlackComedy ensues when the party realize they have to fit their giant riding goats onto a river raft, and Deanna's ''immediate'' reaction is to kill her goat. Imogen screams while the others worry if Chetney is a bad influence. Fearne then casts Speak With Animals and talks to the rest...
** Deanna quickly assures Imogen that this wasn't the worst thing she's seen with a casual smile.
** This leads into an argument in and out of character when Deanna brings up they need meat. Laura argued they never had to worry about it at Matt's table. Doubly funny when you consider they had two robots with them that do not need to eat.
--->'''Donny Boy''': What happened to Jerry? He exploded! Is that gonna happen to me? ''(Matt [[{{corpsing}} corpses]])'' I don't wanna explode...
** If you pay attention, Deanna's decision to kill Jerry was after Chenteny suggested to her that they share a goat.
* They decide to leave the goats behind, Fearne trying to explain what to do if they're not back in a certain amount of time, but stops herself because...
-->'''Donny Boy''': What's time?
* FCG casts Commune and talks to the Changebringer, finally getting some information from his rather elusive goddess. However, Matt describes the vision as having weird perspective with the goddess being impossibly far away, which FCG takes as proof that Exandria is flat.
* Deanna sees both FCG and FRIDA intentionally launching themselves and getting grappled by the monster, respectively, and concludes that she wasn’t being reductive when she thought aeormatons had a death wish and angrily yells at them to get back on the raft.
* The group decides to have Fearne ask the fish if there's any danger around, and go through some fairly extensive deliberation over whether Fearne should turn into a fish, if they should hold her in place while she's a fish, how they should grab her as a fish, and finally decide that Fearne will just stay as herself and stick her face in the water and gesture if she starts drowning. Fearne then sticks her head in the water, persuades a fish to come over, and immediately forgets what she was supposed to ask.
** After finishing the conversation, [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noodling the fish tries to swallow Fearne's arm,]] resulting in everyone screaming while she flings it off.
* Aabria reminds Travis to roll his d100 to see if he died of old age in his sleep. He doesn't, but she's briefly terrified that she may have gotten Chetney killed.
-->'''Travis:''' [[Creator/AshlyBurch Burch]] [[CallBack kills Taliesin]], you kill me.
* While it's utterly horrifying, Matt's description of the elk monster in Molaesmyr crosses into BlackComedy as his explanation of the beast goes from it being weird but relatively normal for the setting, to fairly freaky, to some kind of Lovecraftian horror with too many legs and no face.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 57: The Sorrow of Molaesmyr]]
* We get a new RunningGag again when the party has to fight ghosts, and Chetney fails a save and gets possessed by what appeared to be a teen girl ghost - which leads to Travis SpeakingLikeTotallyTeen. And then we find out that he had to look up something called "Teen Slang for Parents" just to keep the act going.
-->'''Sam:''' Did Chetney just become ''an influencer?!''\\
'''Aabria:''' This is all just AAVE right now, so I understand it perfectly.
** The DM's later reaction to Chetney as an AgingWouldBeHipster:
-->'''Matt:''' I will kill your character.\\
'''Aabria:''' I'll race you.
** When he later tries to make "no cap" a PreMortemOneLiner, we get a ''[[OOCIsSeriousBusiness very]]'' rare instance of Matt outright '''refusing''' to accept a player's How Do You Want To Do This.
-->'''Matt:''' You kill it. [...] That's what you get.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 58: Escape from the Past]]
* The group ends up evading the Wolf King without any real confrontation and end up fully free of having to deal with it at all. As the break begins, Matt decides to show off his specially made, absolute monstrosity of a figure for the Wolf King, which didn't get used at all.
* While looking through Ludinus' abandoned belongings, the group discovers a cylinder of wood, which they immediately decide is a dildo, much to Matt's ire.
-->'''Matt:''' It's not a dildo!
** Matt after tries to describe them finding a strange, leather harness meant for a person to wear. It's clearly meant to be an important artifact, but the party has some ''very'' strong issues taking it seriously after the dildo.
* F.C.G. decides to Identify the staff.
-->'''Imogen:''' In the morning, can you Identify something else?\\
'''F.R.I.D.A.:''' [[DoubleEntendre In the morning he'll be identifying]] ''[[DoubleEntendre my]]'' [[DoubleEntendre staff]].\\
''(laughter and groans)''\\
'''Aabria:''' Just a really loud "HEYOOO!" from on top of the notes.
* Chetney, in a soft, gentle tone, comforts Deanna when she's panicking over F.R.I.D.A. possibly leaving, and tells her he made something for her. In that same gentle tone, he describes pulling the thing [[AssShove out of his ass]].
-->'''Chetney:''' It's been really uncomfortable.
* Deanna, Chetney, and Fearne threesome with Chetney in his wolf form. Enough said.
-->'''Deanna:''' Really quick question, is the werewolf thing only for fighting?\\
'''Chetney:''' I mean... There's only one way to find out. But I might recommend... ''not'' in the [[EldritchLocation Savalirwood]]?
* While the threesome is going on, Laura jokes that Imogen is having a thumb war with herself, complete with miming.
* The morning after, Deanna and Fearne joke that Deanna might turn into a were-faun when Imogen asks if any of them were bit. Travis then rolls to see if Chetney survived the night, with the table joking [[OutWithABang this would have been the perfect way for Chetney to go]]. Travis then confirms Chetney is still alive.
* The whole bit about revealing what Chetney's tattoo meant. First he described how he made magical furniture, which explains chapter 1's fight, which was made for the Cerberus Assembly. Next he recalls he got kicked out of the Rexxentrum Toy Authority, which is what his RTA tattoo actually stands for [[note]]Travis previously annoyed Matt by having Chetney claim it says "recognize the alpha"[[/note]]. FCG and Deanna call him him out the BS after realize he was part of a toy union, which Chetney tries and fails to justify himself. While this is going on, Matt initially looks like he's regretting his life choices before breaking out in laughter with the rest of the table.
-->'''FCG''': The Rexxentrum Toy Authority?! That's- That was just your ''JOB?!''\\
'''Chetney''': Look, it's-... They're very strict about their union policies, okay! I was just trying to show loyalty!\\
'''FCG''': How many other people have that tattoo?! ''How many other people have that tattoo?!''\\
'''Chetney''': ''(demurely)'' [[DiggingYourselfDeeper Couple dozen]]...
* Matt decides to leave the dice roll to decide what happens with the Staff of Dark Odyssey up to Laura, who has to roll a D100 and the only bad outcomes are if it rolls anywhere between one and five. They decide she'll roll while Matt looks over and keep the result secret until the next session. They do not reveal what Laura rolled, but after doing so she reacts very strongly and immediately covers her mouth. Laura would later reveal that she rolled a five on episode 13 of Four-Sided Dive.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 59: Somewhere Out There]]
* Sam dresses up as Link as part of his ad promoting [[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaTearsOfTheKingdom Tears of the Kingdom]], but he's covered in bandages. He eventually reveals that it's because he had a bad allergic reaction to the makeup. He takes off the bandages covering his face to reveal that he's been done up in makeup to make it seem like he's in hives, and it's ''very'' realistic looking. Cast and viewers alike were immediately grossed out. He promised to go home, but [[CrossesTheLineTwice kept coming into frame during everyone else's parts of the ad segment.]]
* During what's otherwise a very tense scene, Marisha is revealed to have taken over map duty from Travis.
-->'''Marisha:''' I've got the maps now, bitch.
* Aimee Carrero bringing out her playtest character Deni$e was pretty much a OpenSecret, which makes it funny at the meta level when Laudna (played by Marisha) joins in the backhanded insulting of Dariax (played by her husband!)
** Deni$e's numerous tattoos include a stereotypical banner heart, except that "instead of Mom it says Me." You really have to wonder if Ashton or Taliesin is laughing the hardest at that. Even better, she has hoop earrings that actually say Fuck and Off, just like Ashton's weapon!
* Bor'Dor. He's an ordinary farmer who got teleported to the middle of nowhere and got nine levels of sorcerer overnight. His meek attitude and appearance--a dark-skinned, long black-haired half elf in a green cloak--raised immediate comparisons to ''WesternAnimation/{{Encanto}}'''s Bruno. He spends most of his time freaking out over things that the other characters are desensitized to.
--> '''Liam:''' We've been travelling with the Ring girl for months! These guys are new!!
** His reaction to Laudna's form of dread is to scream and vomit all over himself. He even ends up [[BringMyBrownPants wetting himself at one point]].
* The three Hells remember that they had accidentally left some dead bodies in the hole and start tossing them out. Marisah spends the next few minutes miming Laudna [[FunnyBackgroundEvent going through the corpses that Ashton tosses out]]. When Orym notices something trying to sneak up on them, he pushes one corpse back into the hole with his foot, which Ashton grumbles over.
** It's worth noting that they're taking the bodies out ''in front of their new traveling companions'', and find themselves having to awkwardly explain that these guys totally deserved it.
--->'''Ashton:''' Sorry, it did not occur to me what this would look like from the outside, but it's gonna make the cheese smell weird if we don't deal with it now.
* When they first meet Bor'Dor he shoots a crossbow bolt towards Orym. He rolls so low the bolt just falls out pathetically. Bor'Dor then tries to run.
** Mona attempts to sneak up on him, and Bor'Dor gets a bit TriggerHappy as he shoots a fifth-level lightning bolt towards her direction and hits. Orym is struggling to settle this as peacefully as he can before they end up killing each other.
* Prism's introduction is her coming out of the woods and asking the three Hells, Mona and Bor'Dor if they have time to complete a short survey about their experience with the Apogee Solstice.
** She was also supposed to conduct her survey in a populated city, so her biggest concern after turning up in the middle of nowhere is that it doesn't give her a sufficent sample size.
* The group decides to take Prism's survey, which asks for them all to give one interesting fact about themselves. Prism could do a backwalk up until she was 10 years old, Orym can ''still'' do a backwalk, Deni$e's nails are very sharp, Bor'Dor is just scared and wants to go home, Laudna was born with magic, and [[BreadEggsMilkSquick Ashton has a dimensional nexus of infinite personalities in a hole in their head]].
** Pâté's interesting fact about himself, true to form, is that he's quite horny. Liam's follow-up quip sounds like Orym was channeling Vax or Caleb! [[note]]Funnier if you know that "the little death/la petite mort" is euphemistic for a sexual release.[[/note]]
---> '''Prism:''' Do you have a means of release?\\
'''Pâté:''' I did once.\\
'''Prism:''' That's just tragic.\\
'''Liam:''' ''(in the background)'' Death is the ultimate form of release.
* Mona ends up outing her real name and then reveals her name is actually Deni$e. She later clarifies the "s" is spelt with a dollar sign, and the interface immediately changes to accommodate that. Then Prism decides that her own name is also spelled with a dollar sign. The interface does not change.
* The new group discuss their abilities, with Laudna saying she was born with magical gifts whereas Bor'Dor literally got his right after he was teleported. Prism is noticeably irate when the others ask if she was born with her magic as well.
--> '''Laudna:''' Does magic happen to you too?
--> '''Prism:''' No, (''through gritted teeth'') I studied real fucking hard to get it. It's like ten years of apprenticship!
* Bor'dor apparently has good hearing to listen to the very quiet sheep. Cue nearly everyone at the table doing the Taylor Swift screaming goat meme. Deja vu, anyone?
--> '''Liam''' The Other team did goats. We can't do that bit.
* Deni$e telling Orym about how her ex-fiancé left her, and Orym slowly starts piecing the clues together. However, he's in such disbelief, he looks back and forth between himself and Deni$e while muttering, "No, can't be". After confirming that Deni$e was in fact the woman Dariax left, the two start talking about him.
--> '''Orym:''' He likes making jokes.\\
'''Deni$e:''' Not very good ones.
* Prism admits she named her raven mother because it would be funny yelling "mother" during combat.
* True to form, this team gets their own RunningGag when they have to deal with dead bodies inside their {{Hammerspace}} while also setting up camp, and one by one they suggest that they set up the dead bodies into a fake decoy camp, complete with magic enchantments animating them, meaning that ''they could potentially remain active till campaign 4.'' And then Prism suggests adding artifical magic voices, with Liam suggesting that one yells [[Series/LittleBritain "I don't like it!" in a distinctive accent.]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Episode 60: Faith or Famine]]
* Much like the Chroma Conclave being used as a theme for spa facilities, the ''Cerberus Assembly'' has apparently reached this point in popular culture.
-->'''Prism:''' You don't understand, I have playing cards with each of their faces on them. ({{beat}}) ''Eight playing cards.'' Trading is VERY limited. (whole table melts down)
* Prism gets...''very excited'' by the arcane field generated by the leylines as they get closer.
--> '''Matt:''' The rising amount of general arcana energy that suffuses the space around a leyline nexus, and as you begin to grow closer and closer to where this nexus is, the hair on your skin stands a little on end.\\
'''Prism:''' But it feels like arcane magic?\\
'''Matt:''' A little bit.\\
'''Prism:''' I come a little bit. That's awesome.
* The new kids continue the glorious tradition of mangling Matt's names for [=NPCs=]--this time, a fellow named Proleff.
--> '''Bor'Dor:''' Yeah, let's go find Prolapse.
** The abovementioned Proleff is a storeowner NPC, which leads to the following:
-->'''Matt:''' It's 1 gold per vial, all 6 went into one massive laxative...\\
'''Marisha:''' [[HehhehYouSaidX (breaking) One massive laxative!]]\\
'''Taliesin:''' [[AGoodNameForARockBand It's a good band name, Massive Laxative...]]\\
'''Emily:''' (bro voice) [[StealthPun I got the shit kicked out of me in the mosh pit at Massive Laxative.]]
* Prism, in addition to being excited about arcane magic, is very desperate for a Scry spell.
--> '''Prism:''' And I'm looking for a Scry spell that I could copy down. I'm willing to do dirty stuff--''[breaks]'' wait, no, I meant like thieving.\\
''[The table breaks]''\\
'''Laudna:''' She's got a high price tag, though.\\
'''Matt:''' Abbadina's brow curls up.\\
'''Prism:''' I meant things that I would get yelled at. ''[breaks again]''\\
'''Marisha:''' It's not getting better.\\
'''Deni$e:''' Listen, don't pay any attention to her. She's 12.
* When the term missionary comes up in discussing the temple, Marisha pulls a Laura.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Episode 61: Crisis of Faith]]
* The episode starts with some RippedFromTheHeadlines humor, and some DramaticIrony, when Sam's new [=NordVPN=] routine involves calling out Matt for not using [=NordVPD=], after his Twitter actually got hacked and used by someone to run a Macbook scam - which Sam demonstrates by bringing out ''several'' Macbooks he allegedly bought as a result. Then it bites Sam in the ass a different way, when he realises he'd been stacking the Macbooks on his own script, and trying to pull it free just tears it up.
* Liam succinctly describes how the last episode ended, "Peace was never an option".
* Prism calls for Dynios by referring to him as "daddy". Dynios is not pleased by this and objects to it as he flies into the building where Prism is. Marisha then adds this brilliance.
--> '''Marisha:''' Wait, if he's leather bound, does that make him a leather daddy?\\
'''Dynios:''' ''Obscene''! ''Foul''! ''I object to this''!
* Caught in a paralysis trap, Deni$e can barely do a thing besides struggling and swearing like a sailor at her opponents.
** When Orym gets trapped in one as well, Liam jokes he's just in a squat like pose and isn't even feeling the burn yet.
* Matt jokes one of the Dawn Father's followers has the words "Dawn Daddy" tattooed across their fingers.
* After managing to get some spells off, Prism quickly runs into a room to hide. She's later stuck there with a guard who swings at her. She manages to successfully dodge the first roll, but on her second she gets hit. Emily jokes Prism basically Matrix rolled into the next attack.
* In the middle of this climactic battle, all of the guards that Bor'Dor fed laxatives to last time fail their constitution saving throws, double over, and ''violently'' shit themselves. Bonus points for Emily for pointing out that they're all wearing heavy armor, which takes 10 minutes to remove.
* Bor'Dor manages to get a HDYWTDT and Orym snarks, "Where's your god now?" Bor'Dor belatedly wishes he could have dropped that cool line.
* Bor'Dor gets the second HDYWTDT on the angel, and does so by holding its face, kissing its forehead and whispering "Enough." Prism tries to do the same with her summoned barlgura to send it back to where it came from... and immediately gets punched in the face.
* During the night after the battle Bor'Dor goes to look for Orym... for some reason being pantless.
* As the group offer items for the scrying spell, Bor'Dor appears to have absolutely nothing that can allow him to see his home and brother. When he finally offers up his dagger, the spell shows a home that could be similar to Bor'Dor's home, but it isn't.
--> '''Marisha:''' Bor'Dor basically camera ringed another home.
** When Deni$e gets a scry, they see Dariax and Dorian beside him.
--> '''Ashton:''' That bag of dicks!!\\
'''Deni$e:''' The dwarf guy is your bag of dicks?\\
'''Ashton:''' (''pointing to Dorian'') No! That's ''our'' bag of dicks!
* Matt waited till the end of the episode to summon the wind cougar eidolon, which proves to merely be the tip of the iceberg considering how many jokes they wring out of it next week.
-->'''Aimee:''' Wind Cougar was my nickname...\\
'''Emily:''' Because I like younger men and I pass a lot of gas!
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Episode 62: A Long Walk of Reflection]]
* During the Ad read, Sam uses the cast to recreate famous memes. After trying to get Matt to do two unrelated memes, Matt flips out and with Sam's cat mask recreates the woman yelling at cat meme
* We get another RunningGag courtesy of the wind cougar eidolon, when all the guys start calling it names of a different sort of cougar - Creator/FranDrescher, Creator/JenniferAniston, Creator/TeriHatcher...
* Matt just realises the hole he dug himself into, when Laudna and Prism call up all their assist characters (Pate, Mother and Dynios) and Matt is acting as ''[[ActingForTwo all of them plus the wind cougar]]''.
-->'''Taliesin:''' Emily, stop making one-shots.\\
'''Matt:''' It's just me at the table at this point. ''I hate this.''
* Laudna points out that Mother may be growing softer towards Pate, since she was at the very least acknowledging his presence.
* Bor'dor tries to find some berries to eat, and Matt has him roll a survival check. It's a 9, and Matt starts to describe the very delicious looking black berries he'd found, when Utkarsh interrupts and tells him he forgot to add his modifier, meaning his roll is actually a 15. Matt immediately pivots to describing the delicious looking ''blue'' berries Bor'dor had found, and how he'd skipped the black berries because they looked toxic.
** Deni$e shows up right after with a rabbit she'd caught with her bare hands. When Prism points out that it's still whimpering, [[BlackComedy Deni$e just slams it on the ground until it stops]].
** Matt has Aimee roll for the quality of her rabbit, but rather than make a survival check, she instead chooses to make an ''animal handling'' check. Matt tells her that while survival is for hunting, animal handling implies she coaxed it over in a friendly manner and got it to crawl into her lap before snapping its neck.
*** Aimee's roll is a twelve. Marisha immediately theorizes that the rabbit was so easy to catch [[{{Squick}} because it had rabies]].
** Liam is amused at the fact that all everyone wants to do is craft, hunt, and look for berries, and can tell they've all been playing video games over the weekend.
--->'''Emily:''' [[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaTearsOfTheKingdom I wanna put a rocket on a Korok!]]
* Ashton asks Orym to teach them to meditate. It goes about as well as you'd expect.
-->'''Liam:''' Roll a wisdom save.\\
'''Taliesin:''' Eleven.\\
'''Liam:''' You start thinking of waffles.\\
'''Ashton:''' I'm hungry.
* While experimenting with his new powers, Bor'dor casts Calm Emotions on Ashton. Ashton tells him that nothing happened... and then starts giggling at nothing. The others immediately conclude that they just gave Ashton the equivalent of Xanax.
-->'''Ashton:''' I'm gonna go over here and think about rocks!
* The next night, Ashton offers Prism his tobacco pipe, and asks if she smokes. Prism tells him that she's a student, of ''course'' she smokes... and then starts sucking on the unlit pipe while holding it like a cigarette.
-->'''Ashton:''' It won't work if you don't light it.\\
'''Prism:''' Oh, what? I was eating it.
** It turns out Ashton's pipe is actually magical, and the smoke Prism exhales shows her greatest achievement: making herself indispensible to a visiting mage so that when it was time for him to leave, he offered to take her with him to the Cobalt Soul, facilitating her escape from the Shadowfell. Taliesin immediately snarks that she spelling bee'd her way out of her hometown.
* Bor'dor tries to fish, but the only fish he manages to catch is so tiny it wouldn't even feed one person. He gets Prism to cast Enlarge on it, and the group enjoys a nice meal of fish, until the Enlarge spell runs out and they're all suddenly hungry again.
* Prism tries cast Ray of Frost into a cluster of crystal to see what happens, but she decribes it as casting very close to it so it's very quiet. The others joke that only a little noise comes out...like a little queef...in fact, since it's cold, it's a [[CallBack shivering queef]]. And once again, everyone at the table breaks it for several minutes.
-->'''Liam:''' ''(through strained laughter)'' I'm only a little sorry but I am sorry!
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Episode 63: A Haunted Past]]
* The fight against Bor'Dor and the reveal that he's part of the Ruby Vanguard is played for its suitable drama ''in-character.'' Unfortunately, out-of-character, Utkarsh still has some trouble navigating his character sheet.
-->'''Marisha:''' ''(incredulous)'' You want my help as you try and assassinate me?
** Emily is also endlessly amused by the image of Utkarsh having to read out Bor'Dor's backstory from his phone before attacking the rest of the party, as if that's what the character actually did in-game.
-->'''Liam:''' ''(holding up a little notepad as if giving a speech)'' And in closing, I cast disintegrate.
* Matt points out that Bor'dor has the Polymorph spell, which he could use to escape.
-->'''Utkarsh:''' I would like to turn into... a tree sloth. No, I'm joking.\\
''(everyone cracks up)''\\
'''Taliesin:''' Curses! Foiled the fuck again!\\
'''Liam:''' ''(very slowly)'' Heeere I gooooo....
* As he's pinned down, Bor'dor begs Laudna to kill him... [[NightmareFetishist but also turn into the "creepy spider" while she does it.]]
-->'''Aimee:''' "I wanna go into the most painful way possible."\\
'''Liam:''' "Step on meeeee..."
* Out of the items they loot off of Bor'Dor, Prism decides to keep his hat of disguise... and making it look like she's wearing a second beret on top of the beret she was already wearing.
--> '''Prism:''' (''proudly'') I'm going to do the thing that Orym wasn't brave enough to do! I look like an idiot and I don't care!
* Deni$e shows Orym his wanted poster, with Aimee presenting Liam a sticker of the wanted poster saying, "Have you seen my child Nancy?" Deni$e remarks that Orym does look quite cute, but asks why he's being called [[BrickJoke Nancy]].
* Prism tries to decide where to go after choosing to leave the Cobalt Soul. She initially decides on Whitestone, then changes her mind to Marquet, then decides to go with "dealer's choice", letting the elf decide where to take them.
-->'''Dynios:''' That is ''atrocious.'' What is wrong with you? But so be it!\\
'''Prism:''' I'm wearing two hats and I don't give a shit!
* Prism scries on the other Hells to find out where they are so they can teleport there. Matt points out to her that it's good she scried ''now'' and not the previous night, or she would have seen something she probably would not have wanted to see (the threesome between Fearne, Deanna and Chetney).
* Emily thought Prism was going a different way than the Hells, so when she attempts to create a grand send off for herself, the table has to point out she's going the same direction as them.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Episode 64: Reunited]]
* Sam's gas can returns, this time with a diorama of F.C.G. "serving bundt", with an actual bundt cake on a platter attached. The problem is that when he first lifts it, the cake falls off and onto the floor, where it immediately disintegrates. Despite this he keeps offering pieces to Emily, who doesn't even want to ''touch'' it.
-->'''Emily:''' I need you to put that in a garbage bag, tie it up, throw it into hell.
* Coming back from the bad roll in episode 58, Laura's dice rolls for a good part of the episode are ''terrible'', prompting the rest of Team Wildemount to yell that she should roll better.
** When Laura rolled again, for fun Travis rolled a d100. They both rolled a 4, freaking everyone out.
** When Team Wildemount finally mangages to land their teleportation for the first time, which unfortunately is not anywhere near their intended destination, FRIDA comes out of if speaking Spanish and has to be hard reset by Deanna.
* Team Isslrya's return to Jrusar goes tits up immediately when ''Prism comes gliding past them'' - apparently the random world location Prism settled on to start her grand adventure is Marquet, ''[[FailedASpotCheck where Jrusar is.]]''
** When Orym tries to snatch her back with Seedling, Emily asks if he can have advantage on the dexterity check because Prism "has a nice tush" for a target. Matt actually ''accepts'' this.
*** After being asked whether or not the Cobalt Soul puts all its members through an intensive boot camp[[note]]Because the only other member the Bell's Hells met was [[Characters/CriticalRoleWildemountCampaign Beau]], and recalled she "had abs for days".[[/note]], she later declares that Prism has an 8-pack, but that her strength score is negative because her arms are weak.
* The guys' best bet to figure out what happened is to ask the locals, and they end up with a passing-through courier. Naturally Laudna can't get over the immediate need to creep him out. Business as usual.
** Also when Laudna expresses the opinion that all couriers are shifty, Liam asks if Marisha has some long held grudge against the post service, since it's something that's been happening since Campaign Two.
* The addition of three guest characters means there's ''ten people'' at the table, making things extremely cramped. Travis especially is almost falling out of frame the entire time.
-->'''Marisha:''' When you tell the waiter that you have four friends who are joining and they're gonna be here in 10 minutes.
* As the groups reunite, Orym leaps over to hug Fearne. Matt points out Ashley had not said if Fearne is back in her faun form or was still the raccoon dog, which leads to a hilarious image of Orym tackling said creature and ecstatically hugging it.
-->'''Aabria:''' You just find a random raccoon dog and you're like "This is ''my'' friend!"
* Deanna and Chetney tell the other half of Bells Hells they had a threesome. Imogen for some reason has to inform Laudna that she took no part in it.
* FRIDA is happy to meet Laudna as they say Imogen told them so much about her. So they play back one of Imogen's conversations about her describing Laudna as creepy but beautiful. Imogen immediately hides her face in her hands as she realizes what FRIDA was doing.
* Prism decides to give F.C.G. a cigarette, which he pretends to smoke for the rest of the session. Pretends to, because a) he doesn't breathe and therefore can't inhale, and b) Prism never actually lit it, she just used a Light cantrip to make it ''look'' like it was lit.
** As this scene plays out, Ashton tries in vain to stop F.C.G., then gives up and just silently facepalms. Deanna sees this reaction and the two immediately share a moment to commiserate over being their respective aeormaton's CloudcuckoolandersMinder.
--->'''Deanna:''' We don't have time, but we're ''best friends.''\\
'''Ashton:''' I feel like I finally understand you a little better.
* The genius move of seating Emily Axford next to Sam Riegel results in some of the most chaotic energy yet seen on Critical Role.
** Sam's gas can gag is a poster of F.C.G.'s new art with Serving Bundt written across it, unfortunately the accompanying bundt cake fell on the floor as he brought it up to the table and for the rest of the episode both Emily and Laura react with disgust whenever Sam tries to offer it to anyone.
** F.C.G. unfortunately meets Mother. She immediately takes to attacking him and F.C.G. trying to swat her away.
--> '''F.C.G.:''' It's like Shithead all over again.
** As part of trying to get F.C.G. to trust her, Prism offers him one of her cigarettes, which she unfortunately can not light as the Light spell can't actually ignite anything. Later, Emily as Prism decides to give F.C.G. the whole pack [[{{Troll}} in part]] because Christian had such a negative reaction to F.C.G. smoking.
** When it comes time to part ways, F.C.G. makes Prism promise that they will bring FRIDA back to him when all is said in done. Prism agrees, but in return makes F.C.G. promise to bring back their new best friend...Orym, much to the bewilderment of Laudna and Ashton, who suddenly decide to lean in on their conversation. Laudna even makes a point in emphasizing how closely she and Prism had become, because they had killed Bor'Dor together. Meanwhile Ashley, in character as Fearne, makes a hilariously affronted face at Prism's assertion.
*** The background to this moment, which Emily revealed on 4-Sided Dive, makes it even funnier. She had Prism declare Orym was her new best friend, just because she thought it'd be the funniest option: he's the only one who wouldn't have been mad at not being picked.
* Several conversations during this episode actually take place telepathetically, which as Liam points out would look absolutely bizzare to an outside observer.
* As Prism is saying a heartfelt goodbye to Ashton, Sam/F.C.G. slowly reaches over with a piece of bundt cake.
-->'''Prism:''' You taught me how to have fun. So I'm gonna go keep-- [[MoodWhiplash get that shit away from me]].
* As a parting gift from Prism, she casts enlarge on Orym until he's about 6'6" because that's how she sees him, metaphorically. With his new height Orym immediately starts doing pullups in the rafters.
-->'''Deanna:''' It's funny, when he's bigger, this feels douche-y.\\
'''Ashton:''' It got smug.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Episode 65: A Path of Vengeance]]
* Once again, Sam's gas can takes focus away from a scene. This time it's a picture of FCG with a cigarette sticking out of his mouth, captioned "Smoking is Cool." The cast are equal parts amused and disgusted, prompting Sam to make an addition: "For robots, not for kids."
** Laura in particular seems especially annoyed by Sam's gas can as him writing the addendum is distracting Marisha from focusing on their scene checking up on Zhudanna. Given what happens [[BigDamnKiss immediately after]] makes her annoyance HilariousInHindsight.
* Ashton and F.C.G. go to visit Milo, who has gotten even more hyperactive and scatterbrained since the last time they met. Most of their inventions have been disassembled since the arcane elements inside have been on the fritz, and when they offer to make coffee for Ashton they discover that they'd already made a pot of coffee earlier and forgot about it, meaning it has since gone cold.
-->'''Ashton:''' Were your meds arcane again? I can't remember.
** Ashton then hands Milo a note, along with their hammer, and tells them they might be going out to save the world.
--->'''F.C.G.:''' Don't you need a weapon for that...?\\
'''Ashton:''' Nah. [...] All you need is love.\\
'''F.C.G.:''' What?! What does that mean?!\\
'''Ashton:''' [[{{Troll}} That's me fucking with you.]]
* Marisha was utterly floored by the BigDamnKiss moment, leading her to practically fall out of her chair, much to the amusement of the others.
** Liam throws his 2¢ into it:
--->'''Liam:''' Three for three, Marisha.\\
'''Marisha:''' I was making a DEAD PERSON who wasn't romanceable!
** Directly after this Sam ([[ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext who was dressed in a tiger costume for the entire episode]]) clutched the front of said costume in a way that made it look like he was holding [[NotWhatItLooksLike something]] [[GagPenis else.]] He genuinely didn't know what it looked like until the reaction made him look down, whereupon the table burst into laughter. Especially Liam.
--->'''Liam:''' ''(through laughter)'' Stop it stop it stop!
* Imogen and Laudna are workshopping Laudna's level 10 appearance, and the whole thing starts mutating into a shopping episode, which might explain why Travis had to walk off for a moment. Which becomes the perfect setup for this:
-->'''Laudna:''' Chetney!... I'm turning your dollhouse into a backpack!\\
'''Travis:''' (walking back in) '''[[AtomicFBomb FUCK!!]]''' [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere (walks out again)]]
* In what has thus far been a very calm episode of character building and information gathering, Chetney is suddenly ambushed and caught in a silver net by a hooded figure, before Matt calls the break. Everyone is caught ''completely'' off guard.
-->'''Liam:''' What the hell, we're just going information gathering! What is going on?!\\
'''Taliesin:''' Best shopping episode EVER!
* As Matt is removing some of the house parts from the map to improve visibility, Sam jokes that there's people fucking in one of the rooms. Taliesin then immediately tells the group that he really wants to one day do a "house run" sequence, with the group charging through a bunch of people's homes, all of which contain minis ''clearly'' doing weird shit.
-->'''Liam:''' Is that a dead woman and a horse girl?!\\
'''Taliesin:''' ''(as Ashton)'' No kinkshaming, buddy!
* Midway through the battle, the bounty hunter says "Tuyen sends her regards." The group is confused, not sure who Tuyen is. About a minute later, Travis collapses into wheezing laughter as he realizes Tuyen is ''the shopkeeper of the Prism Emporium'', who Chetney threatened and maimed after being overcharged a few ''dozen'' episodes ago.
* While the group discusses their complicated feelings towards the gods, Chetney pipes up that in over 400 years of living he's never been [[GiveMeASign given a sign]] or felt a strong connection to the divine. [[OnlySaneMan Orym]] incredulously points out that the two of them and Fearne were at a temple of the Raven Queen getting a divine vision ''less than an hour ago.''
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Episode 66: Aid of the Tempest]]
* Matt did it again. Keyleth said that they found a flower that can help counter the effects of Otohan's poison. It is called the Blue Perennem. He pronounced it "Blue Perineum," much to the cast's delight.
* When the Hells met Alma (Orym's mom), Chetney immediately started carving for her. Imogen mentally joked to Orym that Chetney was interested in his mom. Orym somehow combined a [[TheUnSmile pained smile]] with a ThousandYardStare.
* The Hells of course ask Alma for embarrassing childhood stories and pictures of their friend. She doesn't have any pictures, but she has kept Orym's baby shoes. The table immediately dissolves into CutenessProximity when they realize just how small halfling babies would be.
-->'''Ashley:''' Ohhh my goodness, a little potato...\\
'''Laura:''' The size of a kitten!\\
'''Taliesin:''' These [shoes] will fit a blueberry!\\
'''Liam:''' As a toddler climbing trees, I must've been like a marmoset.
* It turns out that Chetney created some of Orym's childhood toys, leading to this exchange between Orym and Chetney.
-->'''Orym:''' Did you create my childhood, Chetney? Did you create Optimus Prime?\\
'''Chetney''': [[BlackComedy I killed him, too!]]
* This combined with his chemistry with Orym's mom leads the cast to wonder if [[LukeIAmYourFather Chetney could be Orym's father]], and start rolling perception to see if their bone structures look similar. Even ''Orym himself'' seems convinced this could be true.
* It's canon: Whitestone is for lovers; Zephrah is for fuckers. And Orym's mom (a midwife) is a ''reeeeeally'' busy woman.
* After Marisha lovingly descibes the grotesque way in which Laudna's Hound of Ill Omen bursts forth from her skeletal ribcage, Matt points to an open-mouth Laura and says "That's your girlfriend."
** As soon as the hound appears, it and Chetney begin to yowl back and forth like huskies.
* We see the inside of Keyleth's private residence. It's beautiful, and prominently hung with countless tapestries of breathtaking beauty...lovingly and skillfully depicting ''some of the most traumatizing moments of her life.'' On its own that might be concerning...but in the Four-Sided Dive that discusses this episode, a laughing Matt reveals that the reason she has so many is that ''almost all of them were gifts.'' She was too awkwardly kind to refuse them and too polite not to display them once they were in her possession. And now there's a giant tapestry of Vecna in her bedroom.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Episode 67: Bloody Flowers]]
* F.C.G. decides to take a straw poll on who is for and who is against the gods among Bell's Hells. ''Everyone'' is undecided, except for Ashton, who abstains from the vote.
-->'''F.C.G.:''' You're abstaining from being undecided?!\\
'''Ashton:''' Yeah.\\
'''F.C.G.:''' Wow. You really are a punk.
* Orym apologises sincerely to Fearne for stealing a spyglass in her possession in an earlier episode and giving it to Xandis, then offers to act as a replacement of sorts while on the lookout for some blue flowers and asks for a little help. To show there are no hard feelings, Fearne agrees and offers to cast Guidance on Orym -- [[BlatantLies she does nothing]].
** Amusingly enough, Liam rolls so high on his perception check that it literally would have made zero difference if Fearne actually ''had'' cast Guidance on Orym!
* Orym successfully disarms the boss of the encounter, a Nalfeshnee, which drops its greatsword (described by Matt as beautifully made, with a cruciform hilt inlaid with rubies). A few rounds later, Chetney runs by and picks it up... and it whispers to him, meaning Travis is now in possession of Graz'tchar, the Decadent End, his ''fourth'' EvilWeapon in a Critical Role campaign.
-->'''Travis:''' [[RunningGag YES!! I AM WHOLE!!!]]
-->'''Talesin:''' Why you?! Every fucking time.
* During the battle with the demons, Imogen is in some pretty dire straits health-wise, leading a panicking Marisha to yell at Sam for him to "heal [her] girlfriend!" while unintentionally still in character. Thing is, the rest of the Hells are unaware of Laudna's new relationship with Imogen, leading to this brief exchange:
-->'''Marisha:''' (''while still in character'') Heal my girlfriend!\\
'''FCG:''' I've got no fucking-- ({{Beat}}) What? What was that?\\
'''Marisha:''' (''realising her mistake, but still in character'') ({{Beat}}) This is Marisha!\\
'''FCG:''' What?! Did you hear that, guys?!
* The group is aided in the fight by a devil named Teven Klaask, who's later revealed to be [[spoiler: a champion of [[SatanicArchetype Asmodeus]]]]. Although circumstances make him the party's ally, he's not particularly friendly:
-->'''Chetney:''' ''(after killing a minion)'' Now the big one!
-->'''Teven:''' Don't give me orders.
-->'''Chetney:''' ''(cowed)'' It was a request...
* Sam makes a genius move when he has Tongues in effect and uses Command, which means that any damn creature from wherever can be affected. And Matt makes two shit wisdom saving rolls for both the demons being affected. Then it becomes funny again when FCG's Command is to "Mime", and the demons are stuck in a box, and pulling an invisible rope and so on.
* Klaask takes quite an interest in Fearne, who is immediately flustered by the attention and makes a somewhat-ambiguous pact with him. The cast immediately jokes about her infernal booty call.
-->'''Taliesin:''' Two months from now you're gonna be laying in bed and a Duke of the Nine Hells is gonna be like, "YOU UP?"
* The cast spend much of the episode coming up with names and stupid puns that make fun of Matt's mispronunciation of the Blue Perennem flower last episode; the Taint Flowers, the Pussy Willows, the Gooch Poppies, etc. With every pun they make, Matt smirks and makes a note behind the DM screen, which turned out to be him adding temporary hit points to the boss the Hells would have to battle later. It came up to roughly twenty-five temp hit points.
-->'''Travis:''' Don't do it, Matthew! [...] Ignore the blood lust! He's just marking shit off, just saying.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Episode 68: For the Tempest]]
* Ashton opens the hole in the temporary shelter Bearnie created for everyone, which requires all the occupants to stand up and hug the wall. Laura rolls a die, then immediately declares that Imogen falls in.
* As FCG is asking Graz'tchar if he was always a sword, Ashley's phone rings. It happens to play a {{Sexophone}} tune, causing the whole table to crack up in laughter. Doubly funny if you remember in episode 1 they had to specify that they don't endorse knife fucking.
-->'''Marisha:''' Romance the sword! Romance the sword!\\
'''Taliesin:''' ''(shouting over Marisha)'' ''Don't'' romance the sword! No!\\
'''F.C.G.:''' I mean, you're metal and I'm metal.\\
'''Graz'tchar:''' I mean, if you're asking...
* Despite concluding that the sword is ''definitely'' evil, Ashton hands it over to Chetney... on one condition.
-->'''Ashton:''' If you get even the least bit weird, I'll crush your hand.\\
'''Chetney:''' ...define weird.\\
'''Ashton:''' No.\\
'''Chetney:''' Okay!
* The Hells decide to cheat the creature limit of the Teleport spell by storing Chetney, Fearne, F.C.G. and Laudna in the hole. Naturally, Chetney immediately starts talking about having sex in the hole, since they ''could'' all suffocate in a few minutes. F.C.G. offers to help by "soaking"[[labelnote:*]]A sexual technique were two people lay still with one inside the other while a third person jumps up and down on the bed.[[/labelnote]] them to conserve energy. Laudna wants ''no'' part in this.
-->'''Laudna:''' ''(reaching her arms up towards Ashton)'' Let me out before I see Chetney's ballsack! Please!
** As Ashton opens the hole, Matt trolls the group.
--->'''Matt:''' So when you open the hole... They're fine, everything's fine.\\
'''Travis:''' Oh ''god,'' every time!\\
'''Taliesin:''' There's just one six-armed thing like ''(horrible groaning sound)''.
* At one point, FCG chooses to contact the Changebringer in order to ask where the Bell's Hells could go to get the device they found in the Savalirwood repaired. The Changebringer's response cryptically tells him to go to the person he is most connected to, leaving the Bell's Hells to wonder if she means Dancer or D. FCG tries again, adding on a request that she not respond by saying "the one who's name starts with a D" only for her to cryptically respond that she means the one who gave him life. Irritated, FCG contacts her a third time, making note that he has wasted five 5th level spells on this and scrying on D and Dancer, before demanding to know if it is Dancer in the form of a yes or no question. The Changebringer's response?
-->'''Changebringer:''' The road you seek... will you guide you to the one... who's name begins with a D.
** As Matt begins to describe a gentle wind blowing past F.C.G.'s ears, he immediately realizes that F.C.G. doesn't have ears and corrects it to "audio sensor". F.C.G. then clarifies that his audio sensor is [[RunningGag in his perineum]]. The pained smile on Matt's face is something to behold.
* After this whole sequence, Orym assures Keyleth that the Hells are definitely competent.
-->'''Keyleth:''' Hey, I'm not judging! I've walked around with a bunch of slap-dicks for a big part of my early life. ''(whisper)'' I'll tell you a story about a goldfish one day.\\
'''Marisha:'''...''[[NeverLiveItDown really?]]''
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Episode 69: Nice]]
* [[MemeAcknowledgement Look at the episode title.]] [[Lol69 LOOK AT IT.]]
* In a Mood whiplash to the scene beforehand, Chetney, Launda and Imogen head to the skysails to have some fun. It turns into an actual dogfight air show with everyone having the time of their lives.
--> '''Orym:''' (''beat'') That went as well as I thought it would.
** Laudna at one point covers her instructor Ulli's face with bees. Once they land safely, he begs the group to never come near him ever again.
*** She phrases this as "I put bees in his face". She means that she's casting Infestation, but the phrasing of it is a little unclear.
---->'''Sam:''' Is that a spell or do you just have bees?\\
'''Taliesin:''' You were saving them for later.\\
'''Matt:''' ''(laughing)'' Into an inventory.\\
'''Liam:''' "I have seven silver of ''bees!''"
** Laudna and Chetney then fly back over Zephrah as they try their best to land safely, leaving a trail of blood (from the Butcher's Bib) and angry bees in their wake. Laudna lands it pretty cleanly, though her instructor is still ''covered'' in bees and bee stings. Chetney loses control of his glider and gets slammed into the side of a warehouse.
** Matt describes Chetney being stuck like Winnie the Pooh and he apparently landed ass first into a chicken coop. Said chickens start pecking at his ass while Ashton stands off to the side laughing and not helping.
--->'''Laura/Imogen:''' Oh, you're here?\\
'''Ashton:''' There's a ''trail!'' I've been following a fucking red line, it has NOT been hard!
*** As Chetney is being pulled free from the chicken coop, Ashton shouts "What the [[JustForPun cluck]] is wrong?" before cackling and doubling over.
* The [[SarcasmMode totally not cursed sword]] Chetney retrieved in the previous episodes starts sowing seeds of doubt in Chetney's mind, telling him to not trust Keyleth and to kill her. The group note Chetney's odd behaviour, with Orym noting he looked like he was going to have a stroke. Travis throughout the rest of the episode jokes about Chetney jumping at every opportunity to off Keyleth, completely unprompted. What's almost funnier is how ''not once'' does ''anyone'' insight check him.
* Because F.C.G. is the only one of the Hells that can't drink, they wind up having to babysit their very drunk friends. They are ''not'' enjoying themselves.
* Sam roll's for the groups teleportation. He thinks he rolled a 100, but it turns out to be 001.
--> '''FCG:''' (''groaning in pain'') Why does this keep happening to us every time we do this?
* While walking through Yios, the group makes small talk with Keyleth by asking her if she's ever been to a casino. As soon as she answers in the affirmative, Taliesin and Travis ''immediately'' Insight check her.
-->'''Marisha:''' Leave my previous character aloneee!
* Keyleth takes the form of a mouse as the group try to create a plan, and Laudna sees this as the perfect time to introduce Pâté. Laudna asks Keyleth "to not be a mouse" and Pâté mistakes it as a request for him. Marisha laughs as she has to clarify this to Matt.
--> '''Pâté:''' Oh, alright. (''beat'') I did it!
** Matt jokes that the sword tells Chetney to "finish it" since Keyleth was in a form of a mouse and Travis lunges at Keyleth.
* As Dancer agrees to come out of hostel room to greet Imogen, she apparently tripped and fell on her way over.
* The group go to meet Dancer and at her door is a bird-like metal creature, which FCG immediately does not like. Imogen politely asks what the birds name was, which leads the entire table to nearly burst out laughing.
--> '''Dancer:''' Pussy the II.
** Laura later comments, to similar hilarity:
--->'''Laura:''' The [[DoubleEntendre second coming]].
** Dancer immediately having an OhCrap moment the second she sees FCG again.
* Keyleth unshifts and the group assure Dancer she's just a normal regular human. FCG calls Keyleth "Kim" and she ends up adding on "Kimothee".
--> '''Laura:''' Kimothee Chalamet.
* FCG asks if Dancer was going to bring her Pussy with her. She responds she brings it everywhere with her.
--> '''Laura:''' Usually do.
** Laudna holds up Pâté to see Pussy II. The metal bird shoots a laser into Pâté's skull. Dancer asks Pussy to knock it off.
--> '''Laudna:''' Pâté got burnt by some Pussy!\\
'''Pâté:''' (''chuckling'') If I had a nickel!
* Shithead appears once again, and drops a huge load of crap across FCG's face. Matt later describes the remaining dung looking like the Phantom's mask.
** In a panic on figuring out how to get rid of Shithead, FCG attempts to eat the bird so it would die in his stomach via the acids. He also tries to see if he could bake Shithead.
** When Fearne shoots Shithead down, Chetney jumps upon the corpse and starts tearing at it with his teeth. Except this is in his normal Chetney form, and not his werewolf form. Chetney remarks he forgot to shift.
** Ashton suggests that they just throw Shithead into the hole.
** Fearne uses Speak with Animals to ask why Shithead is targeting F.C.G., and once again Shithead replies that he just doesn't like the way F.C.G. looks. No other reason.
--->'''Taliesin/Ashton:''' I know I'm saying this to a bird, but it has to touch grass. ''Really'' should touch grass.
** When FCG uses Destroy Undead, Laudna has to make a saving throw as well or be turned.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Episode 70: Embattled in Bassuras]]
* During the battle at Imahara Joe's, Chetney discovers that Graz'tchar has the power to charm whoever he strikes with the blade. Matt clarifies that it's ''charmed'', not ''dominated'', but Chetney doesn't seem to get it.
-->'''Chetney/Travis:''' I own them...\\
'''Ashton/Taliesin:''' You're ''leasing'' them, come on.
* F.C.G. tells Dancer to get back, and use her Pussy for protection if she has to.
-->'''Marisha:''' Hashtag feminism.\\
'''Sam:''' ''(crosses his arms)'' Ally.
* Orym tries to hop onto a crawler and revs it up... only for it to sputter out a cloud of black smoke and fall still.
-->'''Matt:''' This is a ''repair yard.''
** Orym then hops onto a second bike, lassoes one of the enemies to it, then attacks it, rolling a natural 20. Liam [[LampshadeHanging lampshades]] the ridiculousness of it by emphasizing that Orym is using a Tripping Attack on a ''bike''.
--->'''Marisha:''' Can you also steal the bike's lunch money?\\
'''Liam:''' If Matt will let me, I will!
* Ashton and Imogen begin to realize just how bizarre their situation has gotten.
-->'''Imogen:''' Let's go... plant an egg on a moon.\\
'''Ashton:''' A big... slimy... skeletal... gross... ''smokable...'' brain tree.\\
'''Imogen:''' What the ''fuck.''
* Ashton and Imogen snuck out without saying anything to visit All-Minds-Burn. Laudna, of course, concludes that the most logical reason for their disappearance is that Ashton had a mental break and kidnapped Imogen, and would ''not'' calm down until the two of them returned.
** Chetney decides to call on Pâté to talk some sense into her, but Pâté sheepishly tells him he only takes orders from Laudna.
--->'''Laudna:''' ''(holding Pâté in one hand)'' You don't trust them either! Ashton, the big rock person!\\
'''Pâté:''' I dunno, I think he's actually pretty nice.\\
'''Laudna:''' SHUT UP! ''(flings Pâté over her shoulder)''
** Once Ashton and Imogen return, Laudna flings herself sobbing into Imogen's arms while F.C.G. explains the situation. Ashton just shrugs and says that that was a ''very'' reasonable concern and that that absolutely could have happened, while Imogen launches into an explanation of the giant mucus-brain they just saw that makes her sound like she got into some very illicit substances.
* The episode ends with out heroes getting a new quest, to travel all the way to the Shattered Teeth to find someone known as the Shore Shrew... which has the guys tripping over their own tongues just pronouncing it. Then they decide to call her Shady Sally, which would make her [[TongueTwister Shady Sally the Shore Shrew of the Shatttered Teeth.]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Episode 71: Mist and Whimsy]]
* In a truly bizarre sequence of events, the Hells end up asking a bunch of frog-fairy things to (literally) shit on them.
-->'''Ashton:''' Sometimes I think I should've let that bedroom set kill you all.
** Travis and Laura's faces when they're the first to see it coming (likely due to experience with their son Ronin):
--->'''Travis:''' He shit in your hand! ''He shit in your hand!'' HE SHIT! IN YOUR HAND!!\\
'''Sam:''' Why do things keep shitting on me?!
** [[FridgeLogic Fridge Funny]] kicks in when you realise that, if you've watched ''Franchise/{{Rambo}}'' or ''Film/{{Predator}}'', ''it might not have been necessary.''[[note]]Stallone and Arnold famously avoid detection by covering themselves in ''mud.''[[/note]]
* When the battle against a giant toad-monster begins, the crew remarks that there isn't a toad mini on the battle map. Matt tells them that he ordered a toad Halloween decoration online, but it was supposed to be delivered that morning and wasn't. Marisha then tells him that they already have a big toad figure in their box of Halloween decorations at home.
-->'''Travis:''' Don't tell him that now! That doesn't help anything!
** Matt then decides to use Laura's Beaurebar mug as the mini. In the cinematic close-up shot of the map, the mug is seen at first before it morphs into one of Matt's two toad figures.
* In a moment that is otherwise a mixture of Heartwarming and Tearjerker, when FCG admits that he might actually need help, Taliesin throws his head back and arms up, and is ''very clearly'' mentally screaming "'''THANK FUCKING GOD'''!"
* Laudna trying to talk Pâté into being quiet, with Matt delivering Pâté's lines with the goofiest grin:
-->'''Laudna:''' (whispering) Okay, but you have to be very quiet.
-->'''Pâté:''' (whispering poorly) This is as low as I go. You didn't make me to be quiet.
-->'''Laudna:''' I didn't, did I? It's not your fault.
-->'''Pâté:''' It's not my fault.
-->'''Laudna:''' It's not your fault.
-->'''Pâté:''' It's not my fault!
-->'''Laudna:''' Be proud of who you are.
-->'''Pâté:''' Oh I '''am.'''
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Episode 72: Phantasmal Parley]]
* The group tries to figure out what their magical compass is pointing at.
-->'''F.C.G.:''' Can you move the dial to select a different direction?\\
'''Imogen:''' ...wait, what? Do you know how compasses work?\\
'''F.C.G.:''' Nope!
** Chetney then tries to triangulate what the compass is indicating using the map. Ashton fucks with him by suggesting he might have the map upside down.
--->'''Chetney:''' ...What if you do this, ''(flips the map upside down)'' and do this, ''(turns the map backwards)''? Then ''this'' appears! ''(flips Ashton off)''
* While interrogating Ratanish, Laura starts to freak out over what she's supposed to ask, which she phrases as going "full Jester". As soon as she slips back into character, Travis makes a fart noise... which somehow manages to break everyone ''except'' Laura.
* F.C.G. casts Turn Undead to get the undead pirates to leave... which works a little ''too'' well, because Turn Undead affects Laudna too. Ashton ends up having to smack her in the back of the head to keep her from blindly sprinting into the ocean.
** When Mister tries smacking Laudna to shake her out of it, Sam mimes taking a swing with a baseball bat, and slams his elbow into the edge of the table.
--->'''Marisha:''' That's what you get, you cleric bitch!
* Orym boards the ship, and ends up in combat with one of the skeletons. They are not impressed.
-->'''Skeleton:''' CAPTAIN! Looks like we've got boarded by a flea!\\
'''Travis:''' He called you a flea!\\
'''Liam:''' ''I'' call me a flea.
* As Laudna is thinking of ways to convince the captain to let them on the ship, Matt's impression of the ghost pirate starts looking increasingly silly.
-->'''Laura:''' ''(laughing)'' You should have seen him today, peeking his head in the dressing room.\\
'''Matt:''' You were putting on makeup, you weren't getting dressed! I just wanna specify that.\\
''(cast cracks up)''\\
'''Sam:''' "Aw, you should have seen him earlier when I was taking a shit!"
* Sam reveals his gas can is also a dice tower, to everyone's shock, during a fight with ghost pirates. He rolls a six.
* The first mate, Woeddors, introduces everyone until she gets to the last guy.
--> '''Woedders:''' And this is the rest of the crew: Jamal, Odor, Peters, Bruda, Vendallo, the Whitts twins, Carmilla, Sanjay, and... Keith?
--> '''Kyle:''' (''in a whiney voice'') I've been with you for a hundred years! ITS KYLE!
* Laudna and the Captain both start snarling at eachother as they're finishing the deal, each trying to be the more terrifying one. Laudna then turns to Chetney... who nearly has a heart attack and reverts from his wolf form out of sheer terror.
* After fighting them and parlaying their way onto the ship, the Hells ask if they have food. The captain predictably says no with a snarky response.
* Chetney offers to help the captain retrieve some objects that might be stuck on land. Ashton cuts him off mid-sentence.
-->'''Ashton:''' You're not getting your sword back.\\
'''Chetney:''' Fuckin'- Don't cut me off at the knees!
* The session ends with Rollies with the whole crew, and they realize it could be three in-game days of this.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Episode 73: Kindling the Spirits]]
* The fact it took nearly 15 minutes after the ad reads to get going because they couldn't control themselves from Sam's t-shirt and Gas can.
* Sam lost his d20, so Laura gives him one of hers... except it's from a set that hasn't released in the shop yet. Sam ''immediately'' shows it on camera, which was censored in post by a tiny picture of Sam's face obscuring the die. As soon as Laura yells at him, Sam mimes eating it.
* Fearne and F.C.G. try to "simul-scry" on Beau and Caleb. Both roll, Sam rolling a natural 20, Ashley rolling... less well. Matt watches them do this until Sam asks what they have to add to the roll, at which point he casually tells them that ''they don't roll for scrying,'' the person being scried on does.
-->'''Travis:''' ''EIGHT!'' YEARS! EIGHT YEARS!\\
'''Taliesin:''' I enjoyed the walk, I thought the walk was nice.\\
'''Liam:''' ''(laughing)'' You just let us hang ourselves!\\
'''Matt:''' ''(brightly)'' Yeah!
* Fearne successfully ''seduces the ghost pirate captain.''
** Cyrillia, a female fire genasi skeleton, is immediately on the case with an ominous warning to Fearne, but the players immediately notice how she's behaving no different from a ClingyJealousGirl.
** The [[UnEntendre action (heh)]] gets briefly derailed when Fearne asks him to let her hold Grazzt'char one last time... and the talking sword is clearly making ''[[HereWeGoAgain the exact same pitch]]'' to her.
** The captain asks her to gift him some of her warmth. [[ExactWords She ends up with a bone-chilling sensation]] [[BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor that causes her to permanently lose 5 points off her max HP.]]
** The morning after leads to a ''literally fiery confrontation'' with Cyrillia.
--->'''Fearne:''' [[NotHelpingYourCase I swear, he only talked about you.]]
** And the captain is hoping for some more of that, except Fearne has been made wary due to the bone-chill, and turns him down.
---> '''Liam:''' It do be like dat tho.
** All this builds up to a worthy climax when Fearne (and Imogen thanks to telepathy) convince Cyrillia, who's fire genasi and has more than enough warmth to give, to go up to the captain and take that plunge herself. She walks up to him, shoves him through his own door, and closes it.
** After the break, Chetney rushes up to the door to see if he can see steam coming out from under it... along with ''literally everyone else on the ship''.
--->'''Chetney:''' What do you think?! I got 5 dollars! I got 5, anybody got 10? 10 for that action? Two for one, two for one odds!\\
'''Ashton:''' Both of you get the ''fuck'' out of my way!
** Laudna offers to send Pate around to one of the portholes to spy on the two of them... doing their thing. Sam suddenly remembers that this is the ''second'' time they've used a familiar to spy on someone having sex on a pirate ship (Caleb used Frumpkin to spy on Fjord and Avantika in Campaign 2).
* While Fearne should have suffered an additional bad effect that Matt was going to whisper to her during the break, the players are more concerned about how things went with the captain and Cyrillia.
-->'''Liam:''' The captain's getting peg-legged right now.\\
(whole table melts down, Matt outright collapses)
** Matt describes their exit from the room as well. Cyrillia's fire has cooled off, and she walks up to the deck with a brand new confidence. The captain exits as well, his own flames burning brighter, and walks up to the deck with new confidence... and a limp.
--->'''Liam:''' I was ''right.''
* Crosses over with Heartwarming: One of the skeletons, Kyle, is a recovered alcoholic. During a party the Hells throw for the crew, they set out some snacks and drinks, inviting the skeletal crew to take a whiff and "remember the good times." Kyle passes on the drinks, the Hells invite him to smell the brownies, and then a beat passes as they suddenly remember ''they put drugs in the brownies,'' and fall over themselves to stop Kyle.
* While setting up for the fight, Matt realizes he has misplaced some of the player minis, and has to supplement them. Laudna is replaced with a wraith, Chetney with a wolf, and Orym with ''Sprinkle''.
-->'''Liam:''' Haha! Kill me!\\
'''Travis:''' ''(as Sprinkle)'' Why am I back? This can't be real! A fresh new hell...
* After the worm fight, Imogen asks to see Pate so she can strangle him for [[FailedASpotCheck not spotting it]].
-->'''Imogen:''' You've ''gotta'' keep your eyes open, buddy.\\
'''Pate:''' I don't have eyes...
** Imogen looks like she feels bad for Pate for just a moment... Then shakes him violently and throws him back to Laudna.
** Meanwhile, in the background, Ashton pokes the worm with their hammer to see if it's really dead. It immediately starts twitching, at which point they curse loudly and smash it with the hammer until it stops.
--->'''Ashton:''' It was ''fucking'' moving!\\
'''Chetney:''' I believe you.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Episode 74: Roots Between Worlds]]
* Sam's ad read mocks injury lawyers using ''Franchise/MortalKombat'' terms. He used too-small fake teeth to complete the look.
* During their trek through the jungle, the Hells are harried by mosquitoes. Or rather, Orym, Chetney and Fearne are harried by mosquitoes. F.C.G. has no blood, Ashton's skin is too hard for them to poke through, Laudna's blood is not exactly drinkable, and Imogen uses a passive lightning cantrip to become a living bugzapper.
* Pate gets a bit existential.
-->'''Laudna:''' Hey buddy, were you napping?\\
'''Pate:''' I was just sort of, y'know, contemplating the meaning of my existence as a construct that's only really given purpose when it has to bring itself to bear to your command. So... Yeah, I'm napping.\\
'''Laudna:''' Oh. But you have like, thoughts and free thinking! You don't just like, go idle when you're not being used, right?\\
'''Pate:''' I don't know... What can I do for you?!\\
'''Laudna:''' Well, I need you to... be tackle. [...] I need you to go in the river, and just like... splishy splashy.\\
'''Pate:''' Oh I could do water fun times, yeah!
** The reason Pate needed to be a fishing lure was because Ashton got nervous there might be something lurking under the river, something Taliesin describes as "city boy panic".
* FCG baked fish in his oven, and everyone commented that he needed to be cleaned out. When he makes a comment about his "lower regions" smelling like fish, everyone groans and facepalms as they realize they set Sam up for it. And for the first time, Matt had to leave the table because of the shenanigans.
* The Hells leap into the chasm between the mountains, with Imogen casting Fly on herself, Laudna casting Feather Fall on herself and the others, and Fearne transforming into a shoebill. Cue frantic googling of whether or not shoebills can actually fly (they can, Matt just wasn't sure).
-->'''Matt:''' That would have been ''amazing'', we would've had a second goldfish.\\
'''Marisha:''' I just love the cadence of "Fly", "Feather Fall", ''"[[TheTriple Shoebill]]"''.
* While the scene itself is very melancholy, there is something hilarious about the fact that the first thing Ashton does when confronted with an ancient, sentient tree is ''peer pressure it into smoking''. Bonus points for the fact that Evontra'vir can't actually hold a pipe in his mouth, so Ashton ends up just holding the lit pipe in front of him and wafting the smoke towards him.
* Evontra'vir ends up having to send the Hells off in a hurry, and they all run through a portal in his mouth. They end up being abruptly shunted from a warm rainforest to a ''freezing cold'' mountain peak.
-->'''Imogen:''' ''(shivering)'' Why did I choose a sheer dress?! Why?!
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Episode 75: An Ancient Flame]]
* Fearne, having some trouble fitting into the narrow cave passages, decides to turn into a bat. A ''snow'' bat.
-->'''Marisha:''' A ''burrowing'' snow bat.\\
'''Sam:''' With a gun.\\
'''Taliesin:''' Riding a monkey, with a gun.
* While climbing down the lava tube, F.C.G. gets stuck again. Imogen, from above, kicks him out of frustration... which sends him ping-ponging down the tunnel like a plinko machine, barreling straight into Orym, who hears this coming and just sighs in resignation before being bodied.
* Ashton tries to talk to the imp creatures (dubbed doompa-loompas), but Imogen yells at him to stop talking, because he sucks at it (Ashton has a -2 to Charisma). She then immediately realizes how mean that sounded.
-->'''Imogen:''' Sorry Ashton, you're a wonderful person with so many good qualities!\\
'''Ashton:''' Oh don't just fucking start. Just don't fucking start.
* After an awesome scene of Ashton and Fearne diving into a pool of lava and coming out, Ashton's skin glowing red hot, with the shard in hand, Matt clarifies that while Ashton threw off his jacket before diving in, his pants were fully incinerated. He describes the sight as "orange Dr. Manhattan".
** Ashton asks Laudna to cast Mending on his pants, but Ludinus and co teleport in before she has the chance to. It can be logically assumed that Ashton's bits were hanging out during the entire fight that followed.
* Ludinus warps in with several goons, and starts [[EvilGloating gloating evilly]] at Bell's Hells. He's midway through his second sentence when Imogen splashes lava at him with Telekinesis like a kid splashing water in a pool, and Matt calls the break.
-->'''Liam:''' ''(imitating Ludinus)'' Noo, I haven't finished my speech!
* While trying to save Fearne, Travis decides to let Chetney run full speed towards Ludinus, only to realize that he can't do two bonus actions in one turn, thus retconning it to just holding an action to attack someone approaching at melee range. FCG's turn then comes up and casts Spiritual Weapon, which does hit Ludinus (who maintains concentration on Fearne). Only for Sam to realize that he casted a bonus action and he didn't want to cast said bonus action as he wanted to save that to give Laudna an extra d6 for her Counterspell.
-->'''Sam:''' "As a bonus action, you can impart a--" Fuck! We suck at this.
-->'''Travis:''' You got us fucked up, Matt! You got us fucked up!
-->'''Sam:''' We're in our head!
-->'''Matt:''' I know. I love it.
* Right before Marisha rolls to {{Counterspell}} Ludinus' 9th level spell, Travis trash talks her in her ear.
--> '''Travis:''' You won't roll it. You are going to fuck it up. You're going to let everyone die. If this comes out good, you'll dream about this forever.
* After Marisha successfully rolls the counterspell:
--> '''Liam:''' Take that 9th-level spell and shove it up your ass!
* After that failed spell, Ludinus walks into the lava pit and melts into a pile of snow, revealing him to have been a simulacrum of the real deal. The Hells are not happy.
-->'''Ashton:''' LEAVE A MESSAGE NEXT TIME YOU FUCK!
* Ashton is ''very'' eager to leave, but the others insist on poking around the room and looting bodies.
-->'''F.C.G.:''' Should we say a little prayer for all the fallen doompa-loompas?\\
'''Ashton:''' Yes, and it should start with a fucking ''Teleport spell''. It's what they would have wanted!\\
'''F.C.G.:''' Alright. Doompa-loompa, doompity doo. I wanna get away from you.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 76: A Gathering of Heroes]]
* It's Halloween once again, and this time the cast is dressed up as the cast of ''Film/TheLordOfTheRings''. Travis is Aragorn, Marisha is Legolas, Sam is Gimli, Ashley and Laura are Merry and Pippin, Liam is Frodo, and Taliesin is Samwise. Matt as Gandalf is barely visible behind the massive wig and fake beard.
** Sam is tasked to name the characters everyone is dressed up as, because he has never watched ''The Lord of the Rings''.
--->'''Sam:''' Pippin...\\
'''Travis:''' [[Literature/PippiLongstocking Longstocking]].\\
'''Sam:''' Longstocking?\\
'''All:''' No.
** After the intro, Matt tries to start the episode... and everyone immediately bursts out laughing.
--->'''Matt:''' God dammit. Every Halloween!\\
'''Liam:''' Now we have to spend four hours looking at eachother like this!\\
'''Matt:''' Oh yeah.\\
'''Taliesin:''' They're never cute episodes, you notice that? It's always an intense episode at the end of October.
* Imahara Joe is optimistic, saying that while he, Verna, Dancer and Percy all have different angles of approaching the same problem, they've worked things out and are close to a breakthrough. Matt then points out that Dancer and Percy are standing at opposite ends of the room and are very pointedly ''not'' making eye contact.
* Once again, the party runs into Allura Vysoren, who has come to Whitestone to help the tinkerers finish the harness. Ashton is fascinated by her and proceeds to completely ignore anyone else in the room.
-->'''Percy:''' Are you serious, or are you just trying to fuck around?\\
'''Ashton:''' Adults are talking. Sorry. ''(turns back to Allura)''
* To test the harness, Chetney puts it on, and Allura tells him to find a magical item to absorb the essence of. The Hells don't have anything on them that's powerful enough to function, but useless enough to be worth giving up, and ask the tinkerers if they have anything magical they'd be willing to donate. Everyone's heads immediately turn to Percy, who just sighs.
** Percy ends up donating a set of enchanted, self-cleaning silverware he got as a present from another noble family. Apparently neither he nor Vex'ahlia were happy with the gift, and when the box is presented, he crumples up the note inside before handing it over.
* When asking how old Percy's kids are, he responds by saying they are "a plethora of ages". Of course, the cast immediately concludes that Percy doesn't know how old his kids are.
-->'''Taliesin:''' That's what boarding school is for. Keep track of birthdays.
* Pate gets caught spying on Percy and Allura, and tries to save himself by claiming he was napping, then doing the Charleston. Laudna tries to have him do a backflip, but he fails miserably, trying to save face by doing the worm. It's worth noting that Pate is ''invisible'' through all of this, and while Allura can see it, Percy can only hear the clattering of bones.
-->'''Percy:''' ''(deep sigh)'' What interesting lives we lead...
* The meeting is interrupted by loud {{Corpsing}} when Sam slowly sticks one of the doll hands out through his beard, which is as disturbing looking as it is hilarious.
* Once again, Fearne confuses everyone by calling Mister her kid. The other Hells don't realize that that's what she meant and immediately assume she's pregnant with Chetney's child.
-->'''Sam:''' You have to roll a d100 to find out.\\
'''Matt:''' We are ''not'' rolling for pregnancy.
* At the end of the meeting, Matt plays out five different characters all saying polite goodbyes to eachother in an OverlyLongGag that has the rest of the cast doubled over the table in minutes.
* Orym ends up talking with Gwendolyn de Rolo who, despite being ''very'' young, already has the attitude of a noble.
-->'''Gwendolyn:''' I'm taller than you.\\
'''Orym:''' You ''are'' taller than me. A lot of people are taller than me.\\
'''Gwendolyn:''' That means you have to do what I say.\\
'''Orym:''' ...You ''are'' a de Rolo. Okay. Do you want to tell me to introduce you to my friends?\\
'''Gwendolyn:''' No. I ''command'' you to introduce me to your friends.
** Taliesin has thus far done a pretty good job of keeping himself seperate from Percy, but is visibly melting over his "graphpaper daughter" during this entire scene.
--->'''Taliesin:''' I'm so proud...
* Ashton decides to open up one of the sarcophogi in the Matron's temple, and finds that it's empty. Being Ashton, he takes the opportunity to fuck with Chetney.
-->'''Ashton:''' ''(gasp)'' Oh my god, it's you! Oh my god! You look 30 years younger in here, that's amazing!\\
'''Chetney:''' Melodrama doesn't suit you, Ashton.\\
'''Ashton:''' I know, but it's so much fun.
** Before opening the sarcophogus, Ashton asks the keeper of the temple to let them know they do anything they're not supposed to. The keeper agrees, telling them that if they touch anything sacred, he'll hit them with a spoon. Ashton clearly thinks he's joking... until he pulls out a large, wooden ladle.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Episode 77: The Promise and the Price]]
* Laura's shoe makes an embarassing squeak against her chair.
-->'''Travis:''' You farted, you farted on the internet! It's forever. Your son will see this.
* The Witches decide to go exploring Whitestone Castle in the middle of the night, just to see what they can find in the basement. Liam, who had joked about Percy playing with model trains in the previous episodes, gets ''very'' excited at the prospect of them finding Percy's model train track, and from the way Taliesin is nodding along, it may be on its way to becoming canon.
-->'''Liam:''' Giant basement full of track.\\
'''Matt:''' What do you think happened to the ziggurat?
* After Laudna fails to pick a lock, Imogen decides to peer through the keyhole, then summons a Reiloran inside the room so it can unlock the door for them.
-->'''Marisha:''' "I have untold power granted by the moon. What do you need- [[MundaneUtility oh, you want me to open the door?]]"
* Orym and Fearne share a touching moment, which ends with Ashley and Liam clasping hands as they both declare their (platonic) love for eachother. Laura, who is sitting between them, slowly puts her own hand in there.
-->'''Fearne:''' ...You have so many hands. That's so strange.\\
'''Orym:''' Yeah it's best not to question it. ''(Liam pushes Laura's head away)''
* Chetney starts fantasizing about working with wood from the moon. Of course, because this is Critical Role, the rest of the cast immediately start turning it into a sexual innuendo by emphasizing how hard, turgid, knotty and veiny that wood must be.
-->'''Laudna/Marisha:''' Sometimes I hear you get the best wood once you go across the Bloody Bridge.\\
''(groans of disgust, Matt sighs and takes a long drink from his cup)''\\
'''Taliesin:''' That's two! That's two in like a week! ''Wow!''\\
'''Travis:''' Drink up, Matt! That's all you!\\
'''Matt:''' [[INeedAFreakingDrink It's nowhere near alcoholic enough]].
* Laudna gifts F.C.G. a wok she stole from the kitchen during her nighttime excursion. F.C.G. is very clearly ''trying'' to sound excited about it, but fails miserably.
-->'''Taliesin:''' That was the look my dad gave my Christmas present in 1984.
* When snow starts falling in Whitestone, Chetney discovers that Ashton, who has lived in the desert and the tropics their entire life, doesn't know what sledding is. He immediately starts ''disassembling furniture'' to build a toboggan.
** Orym, Chetney, Ashton and F.C.G. end up having a race; Ashton and F.C.G. in the wok, Orym and Chetney on the toboggan. Orym rolls a little ''too'' well and ends up launching himself over the exterior wall of Whitestone and into the street proper, coming to a stop just before slamming into a cart. When he and Chetney turn around, all they see is a pair of legs and a wheel sticking out of a snowdrift.
--->'''F.C.G.:''' Well, maybe it cooks better than it sleds.\\
'''Ashton:''' ''(excitedly)'' AGAIN!
** Some of Whitestone's kids join in, and Orym shouts at them that they're never too old to have fun. Their reply is "Okay, old man!" Ashton gets ''very'' offended on Orym's behalf and starts packing a snowball full of rocks, sending all the kids scattering.
* During a ''very'' intense conversation between Ashton and Fearne in which Ashton lays out their plan for secretly absorbing the shard of Rau'shan, something that could very well kill them, they awkwardly tell Fearne that they think she's hot. After the plan has been made, Fearne blurts out that she thinks Ashton is hot too, and ''immediately'' runs away.
-->'''Ashton:''' ...Still fucking got it.
* As Ashton sits on the bench near the clocktower, the clock strikes the hour, and a clockwork diorama of Vox Machina's fight against the Chroma Conclave begins to play out. Matt's narration very much takes Ashton's opinions into account.
-->'''Matt:''' --and as they collide, you're like "Oh, it's ''this shit again''", remembering the Taste of Tal'Dorei and how they've just completely squeezed this moment in time for all it's worth.
* Orym orders baked goods from the Slayers Cake for the meeting in the castle, and a whole apple pie for himself. Between their arrival in the war room and the start of the meeting he's managed to pack away half of the pie while Ashton stares at him, clearly wondering how all of that even fits into his tiny body.
** When F.C.G. learns that Orym bought baked goods, he spitefully opens his oven door and pitches the things he was baking directly into the trash. The other Hells tell him not to... until they catch the way the pastries smell, and quietly tell F.C.G. he ''really'' needs to get rid of the fish smell first before baking anything.
* While the party is desperately trying to keep Ashton from being torn apart from the inside by the shard of Rau'shan, Taliesin has a bit of an OhCrap moment.
-->'''Taliesin:''' I love that you knew I was gonna do this.\\
'''Matt:''' I ''didn't.''\\
'''Taliesin:''' ...really? [[SchmuckBait God, you just put a big red button in front of me]]!\\
'''Matt:''' Yeah, and a LOT of warnings!
** Immediately after, F.C.G. decides to try Divine Intervention instead of healing Ashton for another round.
--->'''Laura/Imogen:''' He's taking a gamble, Ashton! Some people do that too at this table!\\
'''Taliesin/Ashton:''' Have you not realized that I'm a hypocrite?
* The others are... ''not'' happy with Ashton's stunt.
-->'''Ashley:''' I'm gonna fucking kill him if he survives!\\
'''Liam:''' I'm gonna fucking kill him if he ''dies!''\\
'''Sam:''' Either way, he dies!
** Taliesin rolls the last constitution saving throw without looking and rolls a natural 16, surviving the ordeal, at which point he says "Never look if you wanna win." The rest of the cast is so furious that the closed captions simply read "(angry screaming)".
** True to her word, as soon as Ashton sits up and thanks her, Fearne kicks him in the face.
--->'''Fearne:''' I am NEVER listening to you again!\\
'''Ashton:''' That's probably a really good idea... ''(passes out)''
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Episode 78: Fractures]]
* Liam is out sick for the episode, so Orym mostly hangs out in the background. The characters forgetting he's there becomes a RunningGag, to the point that Ashton nearly trips over him at one point.
* Ashton wakes up feeling absolutely horrible, surrounded by his ''very angry'' friends.
-->'''Imogen:''' You better say something profound, Ashton, to make it worth it.\\
'''Ashton:''' ...I think I might've fucked up a lot...
* In a very bitter, meta way: after everything Ashton did at the end of the last episode, it turns out that they spit out Rau'shan's shard. He was transformed by the experience, but ultimately rejected. The look on the cast's faces sold it.
** Matt's justification for permanently reducing Ashton's Constitution by 2:
--->'''Matt:''' It seems to have begun to stir something within you. So there was a victory... and there was a cost. ''[[MoodWhiplash And you're still FUCKING ALIVE!]]''
* As Fearne stomps away from the ziggurat, Percy starts to crack wise... then sees the look on her face and ''immediately'' shuts up.
* As Ashton, Imogen and F.C.G. are making their way down the ziggurat, Allura asks them if they're finished, and Imogen tells her they won't be leaving. Allura looks a bit confused.
-->'''Ashton:''' I fucked up 'cause I'm an idiot. Hi.\\
'''Imogen:''' He fucked up 'cause he's an idiot.\\
'''Ashton:''' Pretty fucking bad.\\
'''Allura:''' Oh. Standard fare for a group of heroic cruxes in our future plans. Wondrous.\\
'''Ashton:''' ''(mumbling)'' That's kinda mean...
* In order to cheer Fearne up, Chetney suggests they break a bunch of the windows around the castle's garden. It works, and Gwendolyn even joins in. When Percy discovers them...
-->'''Chetney:''' Oh shit, it's the Fuzz! ''(He and Gwendolyn run off)''
* Ashton runs into Percy, and confesses that he fucked up real bad. Percy gives him some advice for what to do when you fuck up: you make sure nobody sees, if that fails you do what you can to make it right, if ''that'' fails you run away to go live in a bush somewhere.
-->'''Ashton:''' You have really nice bushes here, I've got to say. They're very--\\
'''Percy:''' No, not these bushes. You're not invited.\\
'''Ashton:''' I had a feeling, I just thought I'd ask.
* As Fearne exits the Matron's temple, Matt describes a raven cawing in the distance... then asks Taliesin to do the sound effect for him. He does, scaring the shit out of Laura in the process.
* The next morning, Chetney and Ashton are the only ones there at breakfast. Chetney decides that it's the best time to test out what Ashton's new arm can do, turns into a werewolf, and lunges.
-->'''Ashton:''' Now?! Really?! ''Now?!'' Fuck.\\
'''Travis/Chetney:''' Listen, when you get new shit in D&D, you test it out!\\
'''Taliesin/Ashton:''' But ''right now?!''
* Ashton tries to get Fearne alone so he can apologize to her one-on-one. The way he decides to do this is to ask her for help finding a book, because he can't read (even though it has been firmly established that Ashton ''can'' read).
** While the two of them talk, the rest of the Hells all pretend to read, while very blatantly staring. Some of them are holding their books upside-down.
* Poor Allura is having a ''time'' of it having had to rapidly process not only that Fearne's nana is '''the Morrigan''' but that she will be teleporting the party to Ligament Manor directly, without invitation or announcement, right now, immediately.
-->'''Imogen:''' You want a drink, Allura?
-->'''Allura:''' No! ''(nervous laughter)'' [[INeedAFreakingDrink Yes]].
** And of course, immediately upon being introduced:
--->'''Allura:''' ''[clutching her staff with an expression of polite terror]'' Hello! I am...A-Arcanist Allura Vysoren, of the Tal'dorei Council and Arcana Pansophical, I have many powerful friends who know where I am and will come looking for me if I vanish.
[[/folder]]

-->'''Allura:''' ''[clutching her staff with an expression of polite terror]'' Hello! I am...A-Arcanist Allura Vysoren, of the Tal'dorei Council and Arcana Pansophical, I have many powerful friends who know where I am and will come looking for me if I vanish.

-->'''Chetney:''' You want a drink, Allura?
-->'''Allura:''' No! ''Yes.''

-->'''Allura:''' [clutching her staff with an expression of polite terror] Hello! I am...A-Arcanist Allura Vysoren, of the Tal'dorei Council and Arcana Pansophical, I have many powerful friends who know where I am and will come looking for me if I vanish.