History Funny / CodexAlera

* A more metatextual case; During the infiltration of Kalarus' citadel, Invidia, Odiana and Amara are all forced to dress up and look like {{Sex Slave}}s in ridiculously {{Stripperific}} outfits. Sounds like another classic case of the MaleGaze appearing in [[AuthorAppeal one of]] Creator/{{Jim Butcher}}'s novels, right? Well... [[SubvertedTrope not so much]], as here the narrative focus is given over to ''[[PerspectiveFlip Amara's]]'' [[PerspectiveFlip narration]], and instead of the narration constantly talking about how attractive Amara and her compatriots are, it almost solely consists of [[SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome Amara's unexpectedly realistic grumblings]] about [[FanDisservice how ridiculous & stupid she looks]] and how much she's dreading the likelihood of "[[{{Squick}} getting windburns in uncomfortable places]]" if/when she has to make a sudden escape with Cirrus.

* A meta-example would be how the series came to be in the first place. Creator/JimButcher got involved with an internet argument on a writing forum. The argument was over whether craft or idea was more important to a good novel - basically whether or not a good writer could make a bad idea into a good novel. Butcher [[TheBet took that as a challenge]] and told the other poster to give him not one but ''two'' bad concepts, and he would write a novel with them. The poster responded with Lost Roman Legions and ''Franchise/{{Pokemon}}''. That's right, the Furies have their roots in the canon that spawned Pikachu. And he has indeed [[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome made it work]].

*** But it ''does'' interrupt a tender moment between Tavi and Kitai. By rearing up and tossing them both 20 feet away. Into a small, nearly-freezing swamp. Made even better by how Max, Durias, ''and even Anag and Varg'' are all visibly struggling not to laugh at Kitai and Tavi's predicament.

** [[invoked]] Speaking of Isana, she gets one mixed with [[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome CMoA]] where when [[LadyOfWar High Lady Placidus Aria]] is being affected by the HatePlague inadvertently afflicting the Icemen & Alerans and is ignoring Isana's orders to stand down, Isana reaches her RageBreakingPoint -- as in, she gets completely fed up, storms over to Aria, and ''[[GetAHoldOfYourselfMan slaps her]]'' with enough force to knock [[PersonOfMassDestruction the High Lady of Placida]] on her rump and then begin lecturing her with all the scorn that only a mother could have for an unruly child. The fact that Aria is described as briefly just staring at Isana in [[StunnedSilence silent astonishment]] as Isana [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech lectures her on her idiocy]] in a manner that, as Isana notes, no one has probably dared to speak to the high-ranking Citizen with since she was a young girl, only adds another layer of humor onto the whole thing.

* TheReveal behind how Tavi was able to bargain with the Icemen for their help in quickly moving his forces from Antillus to Phyrgia: ''[[RefugeInAudacity He gave the Shieldwall to the Icemen]].'' Tavi then notes that the Icemen owning the Shieldwall will make them "considerably less likely to attempt to demolish it on a weekly basis". Made even funnier by how Marcus is practically having a seizure out of utter shock from the whole conversation while Tavi absentmindedly muses that the Alerans could potentially ''lease the Shieldwall back from the Icemen'' after the Vord are defeated.
-->'''Marcus:''' ''[sputtering]'' You-you can't just do ''that,'' sire!\\
'''Tavi:''' ''[[[FascinatingEyebrow arches an eyebrow]]]'' The bloody crows I ''can't.'' It's Crown property.

'''Varg:''' It will be as you say in your house, young Master. ''(to Tavi, in Canish)'' Does the pup remind you of anyone, Tavar?\\
'''Tavi:''' ''(in Canish)'' [[CallBack As I recall, I had a knife to your throat at the time]].\\

* The Great Fury Alera's noting how the WomenAreWiser trope still somehow applies to [[UnholyMatrimony the "married"]] [[JerkassGods Great Furies]] of the Calderon Valley, [[DishingOutDirt Garados]] and [[BlowYouAway Thana Livia]]:

** He has plenty to complain about: ''Tavi's'' mount [[DamnedByFaintPraise behaves admirably]]... which means it only tries to kill him an average of twice between meals.
** But it ''does'' interrupt a tender moment between Tavi and Kitai. By rearing up and tossing them both 20 feet away. Into a small, nearly-freezing swamp. Made even better by how Max, Durias, ''and even Anag and Varg'' are all visibly struggling not to laugh at Kitai and Tavi's predicament.
--->'''Kitai:''' ''[while glaring at Tavi]'' I am stuck. I blame ''you.''\\

** Earlier in the same book, Doroga is very impressed by Isana using snow to defend the Icemen's envoy against a very powerful lightning attack:

Isana stared wearily at him, and said, "I'd see to it you never got those sweetbread cakes you like. Ever again."\\
Doroga gave her a wounded look, sniffed, and said to Walker, "Alerans don't ever fight fair."
* The culmination of Kitai's RunningGag about how she wanted a horse for her ''chala'', but got Tavi. After using Tavi as bait to draw out a Vord Queen, Kitai cheerily remarks that Tavi makes a great "stalking cow". Tavi wearily corrects her that the term is "stalking horse", and Kitai then pauses to ask what kind of idiot would risk harming a perfectly good horse. Cue both Max and Durias bursting into laughter.

* A meta-example would be how the series came to be in the first place. Butcher got involved with an internet argument on a writing forum. The argument was over whether craft or idea was more important to a good novel - basically whether or not a good writer could make a bad idea into a good novel. Butcher [[TheBet took that as a challenge]] and told the other poster to give him not one but ''two'' bad concepts, and he would write a novel with them. The poster responded with Lost Roman Legions and ''Franchise/{{Pokemon}}''. That's right, the Furies have their roots in the canon that spawned Pikachu. And he has indeed [[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome made it work]].

* Max complains about the Canim cavalry mounts, which are bull-sized mule-buffalo-camel hybrids called taurga.

** But it ''does'' interrupt a tender moment between Tavi and Kitai. By rearing up and tossing them both 20 feet away. Into a small, nearly-freezing swamp. Made even better by how Max, Durias, ''and even Anag and Varg'' are all visibly struggling not to laugh at Kitai and Tavi's predicament. Oh, and naturally Max takes this opportunity to loftily inform Steak and New Boots that Tavi angrily ordering Max to capture the runaway taurga immediately or he’ll gut him like a fish is evidence of how “the young Princeps handles bloody-minded insurrectionists”.
--->'''Kitai:''' I am stuck. I blame you.\\
'''Tavi:''' Max, shut up and catch that bloody taurga before it runs into the ocean.
* Warmaster Lararl has the little party of ambassadors, including a Knight-level windcrafter ''who can fly'', imprisoned... by stranding them on a rooftop with no way down. Needless to say, they’re not particularly impressed.

** There’s also Tavi's snarky reply to Max's complaining about being given work on top of Lararl's fortress.

* As they are travelling towards the nearest Canean Vord Queen’s lair, Tavi's group makes camp in a Canim farm. As they watch Varg's Hunters set up camp, Tavi shows his FarmBoy upbringing, commenting on the cleverness of the Canim's portable enclosures. Durias has no idea how to react.

** Oh, and his esteem for Tavi only grows after the young Princeps mentions the specific breed of sheep he was raised to handle, which he himself admits to being a handful.
* Doroga [[DeadpanSnarker turning the snark on]] centuries of Aleran tradition when mediating a DuelToTheDeath. Made even better by how High Lord Antillus is giving Doroga a DeathGlare during his whole spiel while Isana is just smiling to herself.
-->"I am the Master of Arms. I read up on your combat law. It means I come over here and tell you all the rules, even though everyone here knows them better than I do. (...) Lord Antillus, there, is the challenged. He gets to choose how the duel will be fought. He's chosen steel and fury, which basically means anything goes, which is how fighting ought to be done in any case. Isana is the challenger, which means she gets to choose the time and place of the duel. She has chosen here and now. Obviously. Or none of us would be standing out here in the wind."

* Phrygia's stammering son. Seriously, the boy is awesome. And Tavi and Kitai realize this. Which is why Tavi thinks, "If I survive this, I ''have'' to give this kid a job," and why they start arguing about who saw him first. The only ways the scene would have been more awesomely hysterical would've been if the boy had miraculously happened to speak Canish, the language they were using to discuss him right in front of him, or if Varg had joined in on the argument.
-->'''Cyricus:''' Y-you are w-welcomed as a guest, sir. B-but if you hurt anyone under my lord f-father's protection, I will kill you myself. \\
'''Varg:''' It will be as you say in your house, young Master. ''(to Tavi, in Canish)'' Does the pup remind you of anyone, Tavar?\\
'''Tavi:''' ''(in Canish)'' As I recall, I had a knife to your throat at the time.\\
'''Varg:''' It did give you a certain credibility.
** And:
--->'''Kitai:''' Oh my. I might be in love.\\
'''Tavi:''' I saw him first. \\
'''Varg's ears:''' ''(quiver, quiver)''
* We get a little gem within an otherwise serious chapter. During the briefing for the final defense at Calderon Valley, Senator Valerius continually complains about the fact that Bernard built all kinds of fortifications without telling anyone, and wonders out loud where the money came from. Despite High Lord Antillus' objections, he continues to question Bernard and Amara's integrity and reliability — until High Lord Placida simply picks him up and hurls him bodily from the tent.
-->"Ass," muttered Raucus.\\
"Thank you, Placida," the Princeps murmured in a dry voice. "Countess, please continue."
** The real kicker to this scene? Placida follows up the tossing by dealing with Valerius' bodyguards too. He doesn't even need to do anything to them. He just gives them a DeathGlare and points at the door. [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere They take the hint.]]
** Preceding that, Amara gets her own Crowning Moment of Funny and/or Awesome when a pompous Knight, who's also an ally of Valerius and a friend of Brencis (which should tell you all you need to know about him) refuses to let Doroga into the Princeps' tent and she decks him so hard that she breaks her wrist. She says it was WorthIt.
* Canim giving ''legionares'' piggyback rides. Very effective for speedy transportation, but not a popular idea. A slightly loopy-from-exhaustion Fidelias had this to say:
-->How different would the role of cavalry be if horses could talk?\\
And draw swords.\\
And eat their riders.\\
He thought there might be a great deal less running about.

** After that, Tavi sends his own message back, giving a rousing speech and words of kindness and empathy to those civilian Alerans who will die from starvation, giving them empathy and love, while holding any "Citizen" to task. A heartwarming and awesome moment made hilarious as it was also a distraction. The message awoke the sentries around her imprisoned holds filled with captured people, and she silenced them to hear the message, allowing Tavi's knights to swoop in, take care of these sentries, and bring back the people. Crassus also took the time to take every bit of food and even the livestock just to spite the Vord Queen. The Vord Queen was so furious, they could hear her screams of rage ''from ten miles away.''
* Lord Gram's reaction to seeing the vordbulks for the first time. As the other High Lords and assembled Citizens discuss what to do about them, Gram's only lines for about three solid pages are a repeated, "Bloody crows", occasionally mixed with, "''Blighted'' bloody crows."
* The absolutely hilarious conversation between the various High Lords and Ladies at Calderon. For example:
--> '''Antillus Raucus:''' Well. There it is.\\
'''Phrygius:''' Brilliant last words. We'll put them on your memorium. Right next to, "[[CaptainObvious He died stating the obvious]]."\\
'''Placidus Sandos:''' Ah. It begins.\\
'''Phrygius:''' See? Sandos knows how to go out with style.\\
'''Antillus Raucus:''' You want to go out with style, I'll strangle you with your best silk tunic.
** In general, interactions between [[ThoseTwoGuys High Lords]] [[VitriolicBestBuds Antillus and Phrygius]] more closely resemble a BokeAndTsukkomiRoutine than discussions between two of the most august and elite members of Alera's Citizenry.
* Attis takes time out of his duel to the death with Invidia to ''serve her divorce papers''.
* Doroga bursts in on the Vord ambush on the lines of fleeing refugees from Riva. He's very cheerful about it, all the while doing grievous harm to the Vord around him.
-->'''Doroga:''' Good day!
** And when he finally meets Gaius Aquitainus Attis:
--->'''Attis:''' You must be headman Doroga.\\
'''Doroga:''' Yes. You are the man whose people convinced Atsurak to lead thousands of my people to a bloody death. (...) I will have your promise not to do it again.

* There's something hilarious about how the narration specifies that Marcus orders the Knights Aeris to, "Keep those bloody bug men off my roof!" It makes perfect sense in context — and it's a serious, deadly context — but the wording and implied tone just makes him seem more annoyed than worried he's going to get torn limb from limb.
* [[invoked]] Tavi has just had a major SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome by destroying Riva's nigh-impenetrable wall by bringing up and freezing giant plants around the gate, and then using a fireball to shatter it. What's his reaction upon seeing this work? "Oh ''crap,'' I didn't mean to ''that'' much damage. I'm gonna have to pay Riva a '''lot''' to fix this mess."
* Tavi notes that the Icemen owning the Shieldwall will make them "considerably less likely to attempt to demolish it on a weekly basis". Made even funnier by how Fidelias is practically having a seizure out of utter shock from the whole exchange.

* Prior to the first attack on Calderon, Amara and Aria shared some heartfelt words and a hug, then Sandos joins them:

* Tavi and Kitai getting married Aleran style. More precisely, Kitai's reaction.
-->'''Kitai:''' ''[to her infant son]'' It is foolish, but we must endure this Aleran nonsense. It will make your father happy.\\

* Gaius Primus' reaction upon first meeting the Great Fury Alera was "Bother, I've gone mad."

* The opening after Tavi's ''ludus'' game with Varg, where it becomes painfully obvious that [[{{Troll}} Gaius Sextus]] takes an inordinate amount of joy in teasing Tavi [[OfficialCouple about his relationship with Kitai]].

* The first chapter, which starts out with Tavi and Magnus testing out a "Romanic-designed" catapult (which thanks to the [[KillItWithFire formidable firepower]] of the [[PlayingWithFire Knights Ignus]], have become a LostTechnology for the Alerans) in the ruins of Appia. Amazingly, they succeed and it launches a boulder straight over the horizon! ...But unfortunately, thanks to a ContrivedCoincidence, it apparently was aimed right at ''Max'' (who was approaching on horseback), who loudly -- [[NarrativeProfanityFilter and profusely]] -- swears up a storm before causing said boulder to immediately reverse and ''fly straight back into the catapult'', [[ShaggyDogStory completely obliterating it]] and making both Tavi & Magnus run into cover.

* In the prologue, as Tavi and Kitai are fervently kissing in the grass after he failed to summon a boulder fury, Kitai's cousin Enna (and acting centurion for the First Aleran's cavalry regiments) [[InterruptedIntimacy interrupts them]] due to Ehren having returned to report on the Canim's movements. Enna also takes the time [[EatingTheEyeCandy to blatantly appreciate]] [[MrFanservice a blushing, shirtless Tavi]] [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight while she and Kitai amiably chat]].

'''Enna:''' ''[as Tavi continues to look for his shirt, who is described as now somehow looking even'' more ''embarrassed than he already was]'' Is he ''always'' pink like that? Or is it merely something that he does to amuse you?\\

* Every time Isana and Kitai have a private talk is absolutely ''hilarious'' because of how frank the Marat woman is about her... [[OfficialCouple relationship with Tavi]]. Most notably, there's when Isana asks Kitai to talk about Tavi during their time in Alera Imperia, and she excitedly launches into a whole spiel about her and Tavi's activities, [[TooMuchInformation including what he can do with his mouth]], sending a mortified Isana stammering and desperately trying to get Kitai to stop talking.

** Even better, it becomes a BrickJoke a few pages later when Tavi is talking with the two of them and makes an idle comment about "running his mouth". Both Isana and Kitai are rendered helpless with laughter for several minutes.

* Ehren overhears Tavi say Isana is the First Lady of Alera, leading him to assume at first that she's a glamored Caria.

'''Bernard:''' ''[spreads his hands apart helplessly]'' ...I ''like'' horses.

** But it ''does'' interrupt a tender moment between Tavi and Kitai. By rearing up and tossing them both 20 feet away. Into a small swamp. Made even better by how Max, Durias, ''and even Anag and Varg'' are all visibly struggling not to laugh at Kitai and Tavi's predicament.

'''Tavi:''' Max, shut up and catch that stupid taurga before it runs into the ocean.
* Lararl has the little party of ambassadors, including a Knight-level windcrafter ''who can fly'', imprisoned... by stranding them on a rooftop with no way down.

* Tavi's snarky reply to Max's complaining about being given work on top of Lararl's Tower.
-->'''Max:''' You aren't going to last long as First Lord if you go around handing your singulares compulsory homework, my lord.\\

* As they are travelling towards the Vord Queen lair, Tavi's group makes camp in a Canim farm. As they watch Varg's Hunters set up camp, Tavi shows his FarmBoy upbringing, commenting on the cleverness of the Canim's portable enclosures. Durias has no idea how to react.

-->"I am the Master of Arms. I read up on your combat law. It means I come over here and tell you all the rules, even though everyone here knows them better than I do. Lord Antillus, there, is the challenged. He gets to choose how the duel will be fought. He's chosen steel and fury, which basically means anything goes, which is how fighting ought to be done in any case. Isana is the challenger, which means she gets to choose the time and place of the duel. She has chosen here and now. Obviously. Or none of us would be standing out here in the wind."

* Max throwing a belligerent Cane through a building, while Marcus muses that Max must have been learning diplomacy from Tavi: he threw the Cane through a ''wooden'' building instead of a ''stone'' one.

* The absolutely hilarious conversation between the various high lords and ladies at Calderon. For example:

* In general, interactions between [[ThoseTwoGuys High Lords]] [[VitriolicBestBuds Antillus and Phrygius]] more closely resemble a BokeAndTsukkomiRoutine than discussions between two of the most august and elite members of Alera's Citizenry.

* Isana's first look at Amara. The fact that Isana's "little" brother Bernard, an extremely powerful furycrafter and formidable man towering over six feet in height while being fully laden in muscle, basically turns into a bashful teenager before her adds another layer of comedy to the whole situation.

'''Tavi:''' ...That's enough help, Fade.

* Isana's first look at Amara. The fact that Isana's big brother Bernard, an extremely powerful furycrafter and formidable man towering over six feet in height while being fully laden in muscle, basically turns into a bashful teenager before her adds another layer of comedy to the whole situation.

* The opening to the first chapter, which starts with Tavi and Magnus testing out a "Romanic-designed" catapult (which thanks to the [[KillItWithFire formidable firepower]] of the [[PlayingWithFire Knights Ignus]], have become a LostTechnology for the Alerans) in the ruins of Appia. Amazingly, they succeed and it launches a boulder straight over the horizon! ...But unfortunately, thanks to a ContrivedCoincidence, it apparently was aimed right at ''Max'' (who was approaching on horseback), who loudly -- [[NarrativeProfanityFilter and profusely]] -- swears up a storm before causing said boulder to immediately reverse and ''fly straight back into the catapult'', [[ShaggyDogStory completely obliterating it]] and making both Tavi & Magnus run into cover.
** Shortly after this is Max's [[OhCrap slowly dawning horror]] as Magnus cheerfully remarks to him that, in order to make sure his research is reliable, he will need to have Max help him reconstruct the destroyed catapult ''without'' using any furycraft.

* A more metatextual case; During the infiltration of Kalarus' citadel, Invidia, Odiana and Amara are all forced to dress up and look like {{Sex Slave}}s in ridiculously {{Stripperific}} outfits. Sounds like another classic case of the MaleGaze appearing in [[AuthorAppeal one of]] Creator/{{Jim Butcher}}'s novels, right? Well... [[SubvertedTrope not so much]], as here the narrative focus is given over to the female ''[[PerspectiveFlip Amara's]]'' [[PerspectiveFlip narration]], and instead of the narration constantly talking about how attractive Amara and her compatriots are, instead it almost solely consists of [[SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome Amara's unexpectedly realistic grumblings]] about [[FanDisservice how ridiculous & stupid she looks]] and how much she's dreading the likelihood of "[[{{Squick}} getting windburns in uncomfortable places]]" if/when she has to make a sudden escape with Cirrus.

'''Amara:''' Ah. *dubious stare*\\
'''Tavi:''' ''(sheepishly)'' ...All right, [[LoveMakesYouDumb she kissed me and my brains melted and dribbled out my ears]].\\
'''Amara:''' ''(smirking)'' Now ''that'' I can believe.
* Isana's first look at Amara.

--> '''Fade:''' Trouble, Tavi. Trouble.\\

''(Fade stares expectantly)''\\

''({{Beat}})''\\
'''Tavi:''' That's enough help, Fade.
* Amara and Bernard have been locked up by [[ObstructiveBureaucrat Pluvus Pentius]] after Count Gram is attacked. That night, Garrison's healer and Centurion Giraldi take a sleeping Pluvus to get the two of them out, with the healer blatantly (and cheerfully) shaking Pluvus' head up and down so that he can officially say Pluvus "agrees" with what Bernard and Amara are saying. As Amara starts to give orders (using her Cursor position), she tells the healer that Pluvus needs a bed, and he promptly dumps him into the cell's pallet.
* Speaking of Pluvus. He spends most of his appearances as the ultimate ObstructiveBureaucrat, but when the heroes of the battle are being honoured at the end of the book, he gets a mention that careens through Awesome and Heartwarming territory before crashing into Funny. It’s offhandedly mentioned that, during the battle, he defended some children from a herdbane (giant bipedal carnivorous bird) by ''beating'' the thing to death…with his ''[[BadassBureaucrat accounts ledger.]]''
* Fidelias and Aldrick go to visit Atsurak, and fly over the troops of Marat ready for battle, a collection so large the campfires stretch for miles and miles in the night.
-->'''Aldrick:''' Hungh. I'm not sure I can handle that many.\\
'''Fidelias:''' We'll make that the backup plan, then.

-->'''Tavi:''' ''(excitedly points at Doroga)'' Uncle Bernard, Uncle Bernard! He followed me home! Can we keep him?

* This exchange after Tavi's arm is wounded by one of the Windwolves:
-->'''Frederick the Younger:''' ''(shocked)'' Tavi! [[CaptainObvious They're trying to kill you!]]\\
'''Tavi:''' ''(while running for his life)'' [[SarcasmMode I can't tell you how glad I am that you're here to tell me that.]]

** Better is Tavi's reaction when he realizes just what Doroga is implying. As the Marat grins and walks away, Tavi freaks out and just yells, "''What?'' Her mother ''what?'' Doroga, WAIT!"

* Maximus is a walking funny moment. This is possibly because his ChivalrousPervert ways (One word: ''twins'') are more than slightly reminiscent of Thomas Raith (''Literature/TheDresdenFiles'' by the same author), another wisecracking, longsuffering and HypercompetentSidekick to a main character who specializes in {{Improv}} and IndyPloy.

'''Bernard:''' ''(blinks)'' Tavi... set the Wax Forest on ''fire''?\\
'''Doroga:''' ''(dryly)'' Left out that part, did he?\\

** Plus, shortly afterward, Max unexpectedly runs into Gaius's (ignored and only married for political reasons) wife, Caria, who is extremely angry at her husband for forgetting her even more than usual. Max, still shapeshifted into Gaius Sextus, panics and then defuses the situation by making out with and hitting on her.
*** And later we hear from the ''real'' Gaius Sextus that she appreciated it perhaps a bit too much for his liking when she comes into his bath, and Gaius has to, well, do something difficult for an eighty-year old man to manage.

* The opening after Tavi's ''ludus'' game with Varg, where it becomes painfully obvious that [[{{Troll}} Gaius Sextus]] takes an unhealthy amount of joy in teasing Tavi [[OfficialCouple about his relationship with Kitai]].

* Captain Cyril explaining that the First Aleran Legion [[RagtagBunchOfMisfits isn't like most other Legions]]:

--->'''Tavi:''' Most Legions would kill to have [sixty] Knights Aeris, sir.\\

** The scene just gets better when Marcus walks in on them, and Tavi blames the ''sleeping'' cart-horse for his broken leg.
--->The old horse let out a snore. Tavi hadn't known they could do that.
** Made even more HilariousInHindsight when you remember Marcus is Fidelias, and knows ''perfectly'' well why Tavi broke his leg.
* Lady Antillus (Max's WickedStepmother) is part of the Legion Tavi (incognito) and Max have joined. After Tavi breaks his leg (see above) and the Legion's medic heals it, she pronounces him capable (as part of her plan to prove Tavi's identity), but when she forces him on his broken leg he drops in pain. When the medic tells Tavi the bribe he'll need to ride in the wagon, Tavi pulls out the money he has stolen from Lady Antillus and hands him the cash. When he tells this to Max, the latter can only be amazed.

* Amara [[OutGambitted Out Gambits]] [[ChronicBackstabbingDisorder Lady Aquitainus Invidia]], leaving her and her retainers stranded in the woods. Amara calmly and rationally explains to Bernard why they didn't kill her and how she could have made it impossible for them to get charges of treason to stick, and that therefore, this was their best option. Then we get this...

'''Amara:''' No, because the poisonous bitch deserved it.

-->'''Kitai:''' In that time, have I ever attempted to deceive you?\\
'''Tavi:''' ''(raises an eyebrow before he points at a scar on his face)'' The first night I met you, you gave me this with one of those stone knives. ''And'' I thought you were a boy.\\
'''Kitai:''' ''(dismissively)'' You are slow and stupid. We ''both'' know this. But have I ever deceived you?
* Tavi suddenly finds himself able to turn a fury lamp on and off, and starts flipping it repeatedly like a kid who just found a new toy. [[NotDistractedByTheSexy And he forgets all about Kitai]].

'''Enna:''' ''(as Tavi continues to look for his shirt, now somehow even'' more ''embarrassed than he already was)'' Is he ''always'' pink like that? Or is it merely something that he does to amuse you?\\
'''Tavi:''' ''(having finally found his shirt)'' Bloody ''crows''.\\
'''Kitai:''' ''(laughs)'' He amuses me ''constantly'', cousin.\\
'''Enna:''' ''(frowns)'' ...But [[RunningGag he's not a horse]].\\
'''Kitai:''' ''(shrugs)'' [[DamnedByFaintPraise No one is perfect]].

'''Isana:''' ''(flushes in embarrassment)'' Kitai!\\

'''Kitai:''' Though I suppose we might not have gotten things done as quickly. ''(peers down at Araris)'' [[BrickJoke How is he with his mouth?]]

-->'''Varg:''' ''(growls something in Canish, [[ActuallyPrettyFunny causing Tavi to laugh]])''\\

-->'''Amara:''' ''(to Bernard)'' I need to know something.\\

'''Amara:''' ''(lightly {{Dope Slap}}s him)'' Mind on business, Count Calderon. You can calm animals. Can you uncalm them, too?\\
'''Bernard:''' ''(grimaces)'' Spook their horses? Hate to do it. Horses are big, strong animals. Get them scared enough, they can hurt themselves pretty bad.\\

'''Amara:''' ''(weakly smiles at him)'' You can strike down enemy Knights, shoot furious High Lords from the sky, make war on creatures out of nightmares, and fight garim the size of ponies three at a time without flinching. But you don't want to frighten horses.\\
'''Bernard:''' ''(sheepishly)'' ...I ''like'' horses.

-->'''Tavi:''' ''(grinning)'' Are you in?\\

--->'''Ehren:''' ''(while holding a torch)'' It happens all the time. Especially when a Legion's taken a beating. Nervous archers on watch. They're tired. Half-asleep. They hear something. Thwang, wham. Then they shout "Who goes there?" while you bleed.\\

'''Tavi:''' ''(smiles slightly)'' [[FalseReassurance You aren't worrying in the right direction]].\\

'''Ehren:''' ''(glares at Tavi)'' [[SarcasmMode That's very reassuring]]. I'm glad ''I'm'' carrying the light. They'll shoot you first.\\

* Before the prologue is featured a poem found inscribed within the ruins of Appia. Clearly authored by a ''legionare'', it is a solemn elegy; a lament for Rome, their lost mother. [[MoodWhiplash And then, scratched in crude lettering, there’s the following addendum:]]

* The entire mess begins because Tavi went out of Bernardholt in order to seek a bunch of sheep that had been lost earlier. At the end of the book, when Amara calls him forward so that First Lord Gaius Sextus can publicly offer him what he wants, he is nowhere to be seen... [[BrickJoke because he left earlier to find the sheep.]]

* After the battle:

-->'''Kitai:''' He was very clumsy at first at first. Except with his mouth. ''(smirks to herself)'' But then, [[DoubleEntendre he's always been clever with]] ''[[DoubleEntendre that]]''.