History Funny / BuffyTheVampireSlayerSeason3

'''Buffy:''' No. ''[inspirational music starts to swell]'' You guys are gonna have a prom. The kind of prom that everyone should have. I'm gonna give you a nice, fun, normal evening... ''[triumphantly]'' ''if I have to kill every single person on the face of the earth to do it''.\\

-->'''Xander:''' I think they're much better this year.\\

-->'''Oz:''' ''[thinking]'' I am my thoughts. If they exist in her, Buffy contains everything that is me and she becomes me. I cease to exist. ''[out loud]'' Huh.

---->'''Cordelia:''' ''[thinking]'' Whatever. I wonder if I can go now. ''[out loud]'' Whatever. Can I go now?

--->'''Xander:''' What am I going to do? I think about sex all the time. Sex. Help. Four times five is thirty. Five times six is thirty-two... Naked girls. Naked women. Naked Buffy. Oh, stop me.

---->'''Buffy:''' God, is that all you think about?\\

* When Buffy fears just what aspect of the demon she might get, she notices [[CovertPervert Willow's]] eyes bug out at one possibility.
-->'''Willow:''' Was it a [[UsefulNotes/{{Transgender}} boy demon]]?
* At the end, when Buffy confronts the lunch lady who's trying to commit mass murder.
-->'''Lunch Lady:''' Vermin! You're all vermin. You come in here and you eat, and you eat. ''Filth!''\\
'''Buffy:''' ''[{{Beat}}]'' I don't see this being settled with logic.

* Buffy has a little freak-out when her friends are scared to go to the prom because some loser threatens it with hellhounds.

* Buffy and Angel go to see a movie entitled ''Le Banquet D'Amelia'', thinking it would be about food. Angel points out that technically, there ''was'' food.
-->'''Buffy:''' Right. Th-The-The scene with the...food. So, feel like getting some hot chocolate...or some cold shower?
** Buffy laments that they can't do the things in the movie. "You'd lose your soul, and besides, I don't even own a kimono."
* Giles dryly reports finding a "Six-course banquet of nothing with a scoop of sod-all as a palate cleanser."

* Just how AffablyEvil is Wilkins? Well, [[PsychoForHire Faith]] is moping that she didn't kill Buffy, so he tries to cheer her up.
-->'''Wilkins:''' I have two words that will make all the pain go away: "Miniature. Golf."\\
''[Faith stares at him for a moment, all "Are you serious?" then cracks up]''

* Just generally the scene where Willow has to pretend to be Wishverse-Willow. She tries to run her fingers creepily through someone's hair, as her counterpart did, and they get stuck.
* Wishverse-Willow's send-off. First, Willow's heartwarming hug to her vampire counterpart leads to some "friendly" groping ("Hands!"), and then Wishverse-Willow gets to enjoy being back in her own reality... for all of three seconds before getting staked.

--> '''Percy:''' Hey. Oh. Hi.\\

* Willow regarding her Wishverse twin: "I'm so evil and skanky. And I think I'm kinda gay."
** Followed immediately by:
--->'''Buffy:''' Willow, just remember, a vampire's personality has nothing to do with the person it was.\\
'''Angel:''' Well, actually... ''[Buffy [[DeathGlare glares]] at him; {{Beat}}]'' [[ShuttingUpNow That's a good point]].
** According to WordOfGod, they weren't planning on making anyone gay at that point. That's right; it's a joke that's so funny ''it turned someone '''gay'''''.
** And Wishverse-Willow's reaction to her normal reality twin's fluffy clothes:
-->'''Wishverse-Willow:''' Well, look at me. I'm all fuzzy.
** Later, she wakes up in them.
--->'''Wishverse-Willow:''' This is like a nightmare.
* Later in the episode, Willow shoots Wishverse-Willow with a dart gun, steals her clothes, and locks her in the library cage, where Cordelia finds her. Instead of letting her out, however, she discusses the ethics of boyfriend stealing, with Wishverse-Willow hanging on the bars with an expression that just screams "[[CatchPhrase Bored now]]."
-->'''Cordelia:''' What is it? Is there something on my neck?\\
'''Wishverse-Willow:''' Not yet.
* "I'm a blood-sucking fiend! Look at my outfit!"
* This:
-->'''Buffy:''' It was ''exactly'' you, Will. Every detail. Except for you're not being a {{dominatrix}}... as far as we know.\\
'''Willow:''' ''[rolling her eyes]'' Oh, right. Me and Oz play "Mistress of Pain" every night.\\
''[Giles frowns]''\\
'''Xander:''' ''[eyes glazed]'' Did anyone else just go to a scary visual place?\\
'''Buffy:''' ''[eyes glazed]'' ''Oh'', yeah.

-->'''Giles:''' She was truly the finest of us all.\\

** After Willow enters the library, Xander shoves a cross in her face, thinking she's a vampire. When it doesn't do anything, he shakes it like a faulty Etch-a-Sketch and tries again.
** Willow's reaction to GroupHug upon Buffy, Xander, and Giles seeing her alive and well leads to this tremendous line:

** Angel's big entrance.
--->'''Angel:''' ''[visibly distraught]'' Buffy... something's happened that... ''Willow's dead!''\\
''[Everybody just nods at him matter-of-factly]''\\
'''Angel:''' ''[sees Willow standing over in the corner]'' Oh, hey, Willow. ''[jumps back]'' ''Wait a second!''\\
''[Giles rolls his eyes]''\\
'''Xander:''' We're right there with you, buddy.

-->'''Anya:''' God, what a day... Gimme a beer.\\

'''Anya:''' ''[stares at him in disbelief]'' I'm eleven hundred and twenty years old! Just gimme a frickin' ''beer''!\\

* The scene where Wilkins gives Faith her own apartment. Just before it ends, you can clearly see Creator/ElizaDushku trip.
-->'''Wilkins:''' No Slayer of mine is going to live in a [[NoTellMotel fleabag motel]]. There are ''immoral liaisons'' going on there.\\
'''Faith:''' Yeah, plus all the screwing. This place is the kick!

* In response to Buffy asking Giles what's going on (it's all in Nicholas Brendon's delivery):
-->'''Giles:''' Well, uh, something, something, um, very strange is happening.\\
'''Xander:''' ''[{{Beat}}]'' Can you believe the Watcher's Council let this guy go?

'''Buffy:''' To see tail lights. Hit the door. I've got everything under control.\\

[[AC:"[[Recap/BuffyTheVampireSlayerS3E16Consequences Consequences]]" (3x15)]]
* Noting Wesley making an ass of himself, Faith tells him, "Uh, first word, jail, second word, bait.

* Xander is tap-dancing around what he and Faith did after he rescued her from a demon. Willow is a few steps ahead of Buffy and Giles

We may as well reiterate the same disclaimer from "Band Candy".

* Wilkins's line after first becoming invincible:
-->'''Wilkins:''' I'm feeling chipper. Who's up for a root beer?
** The list he checks off after that:
--->PTA meeting\\
Haircut\\
Become Invincible

-->'''Wesley:''' What IS that thing?
-->'''Giles:''' That would be your demon. You know, ''the dead one.''

* Wesley and Giles simultaneously polishing their glasses while not looking at each other.

* Wilkins's line after first becoming invincible:
-->'''Wilkins:''' I'm feeling chipper. Who's up for a root beer?
** The list he checks off after that:
--->PTA meeting\\
Haircut\\
Become Invincible

** Immediately followed by Buffy asking, "Now why didn't ''I'' just say that?" ''right in front of Wesley'', and Giles trying not to look ''too'' amused when he chastises her for it.

* Wilkins, Mr. Trick, and Allan [[VillainsOutShopping discuss their favorite newspaper comics]].
-->'''Wilkins:''' Do you like ''[[ComicStrip/TheFamilyCircus Family Circus]]'', Mr. Trick?\\
'''Mr. Trick:''' I read ''ComicStrip/{{Marmaduke}}''.\\
'''Wilkins:''' [[{{Squick}} Agh! Uuugh!]] That dog's always on the furniture! It's so unsanitary.\\
'''Mr. Trick:''' No one tells Marmaduke what to do. That is my kind of dog.\\
'''Allan:''' I like to read ''ComicStrip/{{Cathy}}''!\\
''[[[EvenEvilHasStandards Wilkins and Mr. Trick just stare]]]''
* Wesley brags about having faced two vampires. Under controlled conditions, no less. The previous episode had the world being saved. By Faith, no less. The Dark Slayer. And he thinks his actions are an accomplishment. Giles is right; Wesley is a berk.

We may as well reiterate the same disclaimer from "Band Candy."

* After Xander didn't know Giles' preference for jelly donuts: "I always have a jelly. I'm the one who always says, 'Let's have a jelly in the mix.'"
** Xander apparently did know, as Willow pipes up "We're sorry! ...Buffy had ''three''!"

** And just a moment later, Xander and Oz, who have been trying to enter the room through the ventilation, fall with a cry of surprise through the ceiling and land on the ground.

-->'''Wilkins:''' No slayer of mine is going to live in a [[NoTellMotel fleabag motel]]. There are ''immoral liaisons'' going on there.\\

* The ending, where everyone--their romantic relationships in tatters--has one of the show's typical angsty emo montages where everyone is really depressed and mopey... concluded with a sudden cut to Spike, reinvigorated and in good humor once again, driving away from Sunnydale, happily singing along with Music/SidVicious's cover[[note]]for legal reasons it's actually Creator/GaryOldman's version from ''Film/SidAndNancy''[[/note]] of "My Way."

* Buffy first encounters the First Evil, and it is [[EvilGloating ranting to her about how terrifying and horrible it is]]:
-->'''Buffy:''' All ''right'', I ''get'' it. You're ''evil''!\\
''[A bit later, when the First is bragging about her not having any idea what she is dealing with]''\\
'''Buffy:''' Could it be...''evil''?

** In a funny foreground event, she has a 2-liter bottle of Sprite chilling in a bucket with ice, like a bottle of champagne.

* Giles' frustration with using Internet chatrooms.

-->'''Cordelia:''' Get out of Sunnydale--that's a good thing. What kind of moron would ever want to come back ''here''?\\

* According to Miss Post, the Watchers Council think Giles has become too American for their taste.

* Giles and Joyce listen to Music/{{Cream}} in his apartment, and Giles happily bops his head to the tune and says "It rocks!"

* Giles vs. the Policeman.
-->'''Giles:''' Ooh, copper's got a gun. You'll never use it though, man.

-->'''Buffy:''' Oh, look, a box of farm-fresh chicken.

-->'''Buffy:''' ''[portentously]'' There was just too much to deal with. It was like nothing made sense anymore. The things that I thought I understood were gone. I just felt so alone...\\

-->'''Giles:''' We have to find Buffy. Something terrible's happened. ''[Willow and Xander look stunned]'' Just kidding! I thought I'd throw you a little scare! ''[{{Beat}}]'' Are these finger sandwiches?

'''Buffy:''' ...a telephone. And you didn't think that'd be helpful?\\
'''Cordelia:''' No, this is better, for... ''[makes smacking motion, till it dawns on her]'' ...oh.

** And as she's doing this, one of the other hunters had dropped his rifle. Buffy exclaims "Cordelia, the gun!" Cordy grabs the gun, aims, fires...and nearly shoots Buffy.

--> '''Cordelia:''' Oh you mean because of how the only guy that ever liked her turned into a vicious killer and had to be put down like a dog?
--> '''Xander:''' Can she cram complex issues into a nutshell or what?

* Back in the Bronze after her introduction, Faith holds court over the Scoobies. She shares some war stories, chock full of [[NakedPeopleAreFunny nudity]], a BusFullOfInnocents, crocodiles, and priests, but [[OrphanedPunchline only the first]] of which has caught [[AllMenArePerverts Xander's attention]] (to [[ClingyJealousGirl Cordelia's]] consternation).
-->'''Faith:''' So, it's about 118 degrees and I'm [[SleepsInTheNude sleeping without a stitch on]]. And all of the sudden, I hear this screaming from outside, so [[FullFrontalAssault I go tearing out]], [[ShamelessFanserviceGirl stark nude]]. And this church is broke down and there's these three vamps feasting on half the Baptists in South Boston, so I waste the vamps and the preacher comes up and he's hugging me like there's no tomorrow. When all of the sudden, the cops pull up and they arrested us both!\\

'''Buffy:''' Well...sometimes I crave a nonfat yogurt afterwards.

[[AC:"[[Recap/BuffyTheVampireSlayerS3E3FaithHopeAndTrick Faith, Hope and Trick]]" (3x03)]]

'''Buffy:''' ...I sometimes crave a nonfat yogurt afterwards.

* The episode opens with Willow savouring that now as a senior she can go off campus for lunch. But she panics about actually taking that first step, convinced they may have changed the rules without telling. Oz and Xander have to physically lift her over the threshold and carry her to the green where they're meeting Buffy for lunch.

--> '''Buffy:''' First of all, Martha Stewart knows jack about hand cut prosciutto.

--> '''Willow:''' (''to Oz'') You're supposed to stop me when I do that.

* Giles complains about the smell of the zombie cat, and Buffy snarks, "You know, I wanted Forest Pine or April Fresh, but Mom wanted Dead Cat.

--> "I don't want trouble. I just want to be alone and quiet in a room with a chair and a fireplace and a tea cosy. I don't even know what a tea cosy is but I want one. But all I get is trouble, which I am more than willing to share."