History Funny / BoardwalkEmpire

--->'''Van Alden:''' Mr. O’Banion sends his congratulations.

--->'''Van Alden:''' Mr. O’Banion offers his condolences.
** At the third place, a man opens the door. Van Alden punches him in the face.
--->'''Van Alden:''' ''[in the same, monotone tone he used on the previous two people]'' Mr. O’Banion wants his money.

-->'''Van Alden:''' Mr. O’Banion sends his congratulations.

-->'''Van Alden:''' Mr. O’Banion offers his condolences.

-->'''Van Alden:''' ''[in the same, monotone tone he used on the previous two people]'' Mr. O’Banion wants his money.

* There is something disturbingly funny about Margaret's face when Nucky accidentally reminds her of Owen by saying "I [[TooSoon wouldn't put something]] [[SayingTooMuch alive in a box]]".

* Fallon, Rothstein's crooked lawyer, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQ4Wfy9Jr5w]] is impressed by his client's skill at lying.

** The fact that Van Alden is able to bluff his way into getting the guy out of Atlantic City, first by making up a non-existent type of warrant and paying some homeless guys to pose as his backup, and then, when it looks like the guy's going to die he just bursts into a dentist's office and demands the dentist give him a double-shot of cocaine in the mouth to wake him up.

* "That imbecile [Warren Harding] is going to be the next President of the United States!"
* [[spoiler: The maid's]] explanation to why she chose to poison the Commodore instead of outright killing him. [[spoiler: "Because if I had used a shotgun, I'd have to clean up the mess myself."]]

-->'''Jimmy Darmody''': Well, I wasn't ''going'' to, but now you kinda talked me into it. ''[shoots him in the head]''

** The fact that Nucky apparently [[CrazyPrepared was smart enough to memorize the exact date he parted with Lucy]], so [[TheBabyTrap in case she showed up with a child she claimed was his]], he would be able to rebut the accusation.

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4v6fEPPMeQ Mrs. Van Alden looks very turned on watching her husband bust a restaurant that's selling liquor.]] Cut to a bed hammering against the wall...and zoom out to reveal Van Alden is showing her the mattress is busted.

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyKVYFC5ebM The Commodore's reveal of his newly dyed hair]]. "Did he fall into the shoe polish?"
* Arnold Rothstein's hilariously unsympathetic reply when asked by Jimmy if he has children,“No, but I'm told they often say unexpected and amusing things.”

* A really dark one is the "...''seriously''?" look on Jimmy's face when Manny Horvitz says he can't kill [[spoiler: his associate, Herman]] for conspiring with Nucky . . . because he's injured. Manny's a kosher butcher, of course.

* Rosetti's BlatantLies at Tabor Heights [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QS8lbfHUI3Q when Nucky's convoy stops for gas]]. Rosetti is lying so blatantly that Owen can't keep a straight face.
-->'''Gyp Rosetti:''' I think you've got me mixed up. I'm uh, ''[points to the sign on the station]'' D.L. Collingsworth. Proprietor.

* Mickey Doyle is running his distillery and strong-arms a partner by claiming he killed Manny Horvitz (he didn't). One of his delivery boys overhears this and is tasked with taking a crate of whiskey over to Gillian's place. Richard Harrow, the one who actually killed Manny, is tending bar that night and the errand boy mentions the conversation he overheard. Subsequently, Mickey returns to his apartment with a date, but just as they're getting intimate, they turn on the lights [[JumpScare revealing Richard is there, and pointing a gun at them]].[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4896AuqqiJs Richard then marches Mickey out at gunpoint, in his underwear]], [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdaMfbcHqg0 and takes him straight to Nucky]]:

* Fallon, Rothstein's crooked lawyer, is impressed by his client's skill at lying. He tells Arnold it's not too late to go to law school. Rothstein counters that he [[EvilLawyerJoke picked an honest profession]].

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7umPGuxRg70 Eli's speech at the St. Patrick's Day Celtic dinner]], which almost provokes a war between the Americans and the native Irish.

* The Commodore's reveal of his newly dyed hair. "Did he fall into the shoe polish?"

* Mrs. Van Alden looks very turned on watching her husband bust a restaurant that's selling liquor. Cut to a bed hammering against the wall...and zoom out to reveal Van Alden is showing her the mattress is busted.

* Van Alden is going door to door, working for Dean O'Banion who is a gangster and a florist.

* Mickey Doyle is running his distillery and strong-arms a partner by claiming he killed Manny Horvitz (he didn't). One of his delivery boys overhears this and is tasked with taking a crate of whiskey over to Gillian's place. Richard Harrow, the one who actually killed Manny, is tending bar that night and the errand boy mentions the conversation he overheard. Subsequently, Mickey returns to his apartment with a date, but just as they're getting intimate, they turn on the lights [[JumpScare revealing Richard is there, and pointing a gun at them]].[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxTvrrFN12Y Richard then marches Mickey out at gunpoint, in his underwear]], and takes him straight to Nucky:

* Owen attempting to write the Italian phrase for "good luck" comes out as "Bone For Tuna".

* Nucky paying off Agent Zowicki, and telling him to "go buy a personality".

* Nucky finally paying the price for his boozing... a $5 fine he just shrugs off pulling out a wad of bills and asking the bailiff if he can break a $100.
* In "The Pony", Eddie barges into Nucky's office where Eli and Owen are present with news of [[spoiler: Jimmy's death]]. Nucky immediately dismisses it as speculation until Eddie reveals that it's in the newspaper as a drowning accident. The quick exchange of "WTF?!" between Nucky, Eli, and Owen is just hilarious.

* The [[AnOfferYouCantRefuse polite and reassuring]] NewEraSpeech [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSPPxhYxF8k delivered]] by sociopath extraordinaire Rosetti when he buys the town, "sheriffs will keep on sheriffing, librarians will keep checking out books... because ''it's very important to read.''.." ''([[ThinkOfTheChildren winks jovially]])'' Also, Bible camp's been cancelled, and he's not really doing Q&A either.

* Gyp Rosetti's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Q7eTJlX1PA showing up]] wearing a stolen NiceHat from the Revolutionary War, a precious window to [[CloudCuckoolander his mental process]]. His men briefly look at him funny with a mild bewilderment, recollect [[BadBoss the inclinations of the the man]] and wisely continue about their business in silence.

** At one place, the female resident just had a baby. Van Alden delivers flowers, and he tells her: "Mr. O’Banion sends his congratulations."
** Another place has just had a death in the family. Van Alden delivers flowers and tells the man answering the door: "Mr. O’Banion offers his condolences."
** At the third place, a man opens the door. Van Alden punches him and says (in the same, monotone tone he used on the previous two people): "Mr. O’Banion wants his money."

-->'''Meyer''': One day on my way to school, I got stopped by a gang of older boys. The leader said he wanted my lunch money. I told him to go fuck himself. He laughed, said he'd beat it out of me, so I spit in his face. He did beat me, they all did, and they took my money. Next day, same thing. I spit in his face and then we fought. The third day, the kid asked me to join his gang. The kid was Charlie Luciano, and that's how we teamed up.

-->'''Van Alden:''' [[SarcasmFailure No. This is sarcasm.]]

* In addition to being a MomentOfAwesome, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SLJWcUSJXg Van Alden coming into O'Banion's to sell irons and finding himself accidentally becoming a temporary mob enforcer]] is brilliant, as is O'Banion reacting like "I can't believe that worked" after the situation gets defused. The funniest thing is that Van Alden doesn't actually do anything except stand still, look impassively intimidating, and say as little as possible [[TheStoic (ie exactly what he always does)]].

** Richard [[RefugeInAudacity gets away with all of this]] [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome with no consequences whatsoever.]]

* A FreezeFrameBonus shot of a drunk flapper doing her "walk of shame" at dawn on the boardwalk. [[BreatherEpisode Much needed]] (along with the following shot of [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming Richard and Julia]] beneath) after the shocking [[WhamEpisode previous scene]] where [[spoiler:Nucky, Eddie and Margaret discover Owen's dead body.]]

* In addition to being a MomentOfAwesome, Van Alden coming into O'Banion's to sell irons and finding himself accidentally becoming a temporary mob enforcer is brilliant, as is O'Banion reacting like "I can't believe that worked" after the situation gets defused. The funniest thing is that Van Alden doesn't actually do anything except stand still, look impassively intimidating, and say as little as possible [[TheStoic (ie exactly what he always does)]].

* Van Alden [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51B-sXtV_6g turning into]] the IncredibleHulk during his unstoppable rage.

*** As one YouTube commenter put it: "Before ''Series/AmericanIdol'', this is how you got cut for lousy singing!!!!"

** The preceding VillainousBreakdown is also a treat, with Gyp making a bizarre impression of Nucky Thompson ("I have important garters holding up my 'very' important socks") and holding his eyelids open while yelling at his henchmen before suddenly proclaiming himself Barney Google.

!!Season 4