History Funny / BlazingSaddles

** "[[CampGay A-one and a-two and]] ''[[CrossesTheLineTwice WATCH ME, FAGGOTS!]]''" Note that director Buddy Bizarre is [[HypocriticalHumor equally as camp]] as the featured dancers.

* "[[CasualDangerDialogue Am I wrong, or is the world... rising]]?" "[[CasualDangerDialogue I don't know. But whatever it is]], ''[[CasualDangerDialogue I hate it]]''."

* The [[RunningGag cows.]]
* "[[CasualDangerDialogue Am I wrong, or is the world... rising?" "I dunno, but whatever it is,]] ''[[CasualDangerDialogue I hate it."]]''

* Bart riding through the desert on his way to Rock Ridge, which is set to a great big band theme. As he continues, he goes past [[SorryILeftTheBGMOn Count Basie and his Orchestra]] who are playing the music. Bart high-fives Count Basie.

-->'''Lyle:''' How about some more beans, Mr. Taggart?
--> '''Taggart:''' I'd say you've had enough! ''[Waving off the stink with his hat]''

-->'''Hedley''': Qualifications?\\

'''Hedley''': ''(cringing in disgust)'' ..."Head them off at the pass?" I '''''HATE''''' that cliché! ''([[DisproportionateRetribution shoots Taggart in the foot]])''

--->'''Hedley''': Gum, eh? Well, I hope you brought enough for everybody!\\
'''Applicant''': (Stammering) I...I didn't know there was gonna be so many! (Hedley promptly shoots him)\\
'''Jim''': Boy, is he '''''strict!'''''

--> '''Lady at Grauman's Chinese Theatre:''' Look, Herman, I'm in Hedy Lamar's shoes!\\

-->'''Rev. Johnson''': [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Son...you're on your own]]. ''[Exit]''

--> "They lose me after the bunker scene."

-->"Hey! The sheriff is a ni-" ''[[[CurseCutShort bell rings]]]''
-->"What'd he say?"
-->"He said the sheriff is near!"
-->"No, goldangit dangblammit! The sheriff is a NI-" ''[bell rings]''

--> "Hold it, hold it, what the hell is that shit?"

---> "What in the wide, wide world of sports is a-goin' on here?! I hired you people to try and get a little track laid, not to [[SucksAtDancing hop around like a buncha Kansas City faggots!"]]

-->'''Hedley''': Now RepeatAfterMe: "I..."\\
'''Thugs''': I...\\
'''Hedley''': ...[[HelloInsertNameHere your name]]...\\
'''Thugs''': [[ExactWords Your name]]...\\
'''Hedley''': ''(under his breath)'' Schmucks... (aloud) Pledge allegiance...\\
'''Thugs''': Pledge allegiance...\\
'''Hedley''': To Hedley Lamarr...\\
'''Thugs''': To Hedy Lamarr...\\
'''Hedley''': That's HEDLEY!\\
'''Thugs''': That's HEDLEY!

---> '''Buddy''': Shit. Have you got it?!\\
'''Dancers''': Yessssss!\\
'''Buddy''': Sounds like steam escaping.

---> '''Buddy''': What in the hell do you think you're doing here?! This is a closed set!\\
'''Taggart''': Piss on you, [[NoFourthWall I'm working for Mel Brooks!]]\\
'''Buddy''': ''(Cringes)'' NotInTheFace! ''(Taggart punches him in the stomach, he stumbles)'' Thank you. ''(faints)''\\
'''Dancer''': They've hit Buddy! ''(to rest of the troupe)'' C'mon girls! ''(They join in on the fight)''

---> '''Director''': What are you doing here? This is a closed-set! [[note]] As in, the CampGay dancers are all in the [[{{Pun}} closed set.]] [[/note]]

-->'''Bart:''' Steady as a rock.
-->'''The Waco Kid:''' Yeah, but I shoot with ''this'' hand. ''(Holds up shaking left hand)''

-->'''Governor Will J. Le Petomane:''' HOLY UNDERWEAR! Sheriff murdered?! Innocent women and children blown to bits?! We gotta protect our phoney-baloney jobs! We need to do something about this, IMMEDIATELY! IMMEDIATELY!! IMMEDIATELY!!! Harumph! Harumph! Harumph! ''(Other staff members start harumphing as well. Singles out one member, pointing at him...)'' I didn't get a "harumph" outta that guy!
--> '''Hedley Lamar:''' Give the governor a "harumph"!
--> '''Board Member (meekly):''' HARUMPH!

---> '''Governor Will J. Le Petomane:''' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WolIS6PfJfQ Work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work...]]''(Leans over to talk to the busty red-headed [[SexySecretary secretary's]] [[CleavageWindow bountiful cleavage]].)'' Hello, boys! Have a good-night's rest? I missed you!

-->'''Bart''': Can't you see that's the last act of a desperate man?\\
'''Howard Johnson''': We don't care if it's the first act of ''Theatre/HenryV''; we're leaving!

'''Chorus''': '''RANDOLPH SCOOOOTT!'''

---> '''Cashier''': Are you kidding?!\\
'''Hedley''': ''(pays the full price)'' ...Pain in the ass...

---> '''Lili''': What's your name?\\
'''Tex''': Tex, ma'am!\\
'''Lili''': All right, "Tex Ma'am", are you in show business?\\
'''Tex''': No.\\
'''Lili''': Then why don't you get your fwiggin' ''feet'' off the stage! ''(kicks his feet down; audience hoots and hollers)''

-->'''Bart''': ''(Standing off against Hedley at the Chinese theater)'' Okay, Lamarr, go for your gun!
-->'''Hedley''': Wait, wait! I'm unarmed!
-->'''Bart''': ''(Tosses away his gun)'' All right, we'll settle it like men. With our fists..
-->'''Hedley''': ''(Pulls out a hidden gun)'' Sorry, I just remembered. I ''am'' armed.

--> "We, the white, God-fearing citizens of Rock Ridge wish to express our extreme displeasure with your choice of sheriff. Please remove him immediately. The fact that you have sent him here just goes to prove that you are the leading asshole in the state."

--->'''Taggart''': [[Literature/BookOfExodus We'll kill the first-born male child in every household!]]\\

---> '''Taggart''': I got it, I got it! We'll work up a Number Six on them!\\
'''Hedley''': Number Six? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one.\\
'''Taggart''': That's where we go riding into town, and a-whapping and a-whooping every living thing that moves within an inch of its life! Except the women folks, of course.\\
'''Hedley''': You spare the women?\\
'''Taggart''': No, [[BlackComedyRape we rape]] the ''shit'' out of them [[DateRape at the Number Six dance later on]]!

--> '''Bart''': (whispering) Say, "Hello."\\
'''Charlie''': (whispering) Hello.\\
'''Bart''': (whispering) Listen to me, and listen to me good. I want you to get all the brothers together... round up all the lumber, canvas, paint, and nails you can lay your hands on... and meet me tonight three miles due east of Rock Ridge at midnight. You understand? Say, "Goodbye."\\
'''Charlie''': (whispering) Goodbye.

--> '''Bart''': Are we awake?\\
'''Jim''': We're not sure. Are we black?\\
'''Bart''': Yes, we are.\\
'''Jim''': Then we're awake. But we're very puzzled.

-->'''Bart''': Okay, Jim. Since you are my guest, and I am your host: What is your pleasure? What do you like to do?\\
'''Jim''': Oh, I dunno... Play chess... ''[[HoYay Screw]]''...\\
'''Bart''': (nervously) Well, let's play chess.

--->'''Bart''': Impressed?\\
'''Jim''': ''[SNORE!]''\\
'''Bart''': ''[cheerfully]'' Always like to keep my audience ''riveted!''

---> '''Director''': What are you doing here? This is a closed-set! [[note]] As in, the CampGay dancers are all in the [[IncrediblyLamePun closed set.]] [[/note]]

* The local schoolmarm is asked to read a letter she wrote to the governor. When the audience starts complaining about her quiet voice, [[UnaccustomedAsIAmToPublicSpeaking she apologizes for it]], and then [[SuddenlyShouting continues at volume levels that would make a fire-and-brimstone preacher proud]], making everyone in the room jump. And of course, the speech itself: "We, the white, God-fearing citizens of Rock Ridge wish to express our extreme displeasure with your choice of sheriff. Please remove him immediately. The fact that you have sent him here just goes to prove that you are the leading asshole in the state."

* Waco Kid: "[[http://youtu.be/txrikNFX-8E You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.]]" Apparently, the "morons" part of the line was [[ThrowItIn ad-libbed]], and you can clearly see Creator/CleavonLittle struggling not to crack up right there. While he is struggling at the start, as if he's thinking "He's going to say something funny, I just know it," [[{{Corpsing}} he breaks down into tears of all the laughter]] the second he hears "morons".
* Mongo punching a horse in the face.

* The hangman performance. All three of them. The highlight being where he hangs a cowboy and the horse he rode in on.

** Creator/MelBrooks as the Sioux chief -- whose lines in fluent Yiddish only add to the ridiculous feel of the whole scene, such as "''Shvartzes? Luzem gayen"'' ("Black people? Let 'em go") and ''"Abi gezunt"'' ("as long as you're healthy"). He caps it off with a comment to one of his men: "They're darker than us!"

* The gradual reveal that pretty much ''everyone'' in Rockridge has the last name 'Johnson' -- which has certain implications...
* "And now, from the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke... ''(a bundle of lit dynamite sticks is tossed through the window)'' [[AstonishinglyAppropriateInterruption ...and]] {{duck}}"

** Finding out who plays the Sioux War Chief -- and how he plays the character -- is too funny to describe here.

---> '''Governor Will J. Le Petomane:''' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WolIS6PfJfQ Work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work...]]''(Leans over to talk to the [[BuxomIsBetter busty]] red-headed [[SexySecretary secretary's]] [[CleavageWindow bountiful cleavage]].)'' Hello, boys! Have a good-night's rest? I missed you!

---> '''Governor Will J. Le Petomane:''' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WolIS6PfJfQ Work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work...]]''(Leans over to talk to the [[DistractedByTheSexy voluptuous]] [[BuxomIsBetter busty]] [[SexySecretary red-headed secretary's]] [[CleavageWindow bountiful cleavage]].)'' Hello, boys! Have a good-night's rest? I missed you!

'''Buddy''': ''(Cringes)'' Not in the face! ''(Taggart punches him in the stomach, he stumbles)'' Thank you. ''(faints)''\\

--->'''Taggart''': We'll kill the first-born male child in every household!\\

* Waco Kid: "[[http://youtu.be/txrikNFX-8E You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.]]" Apparently, the "morons" part of the line was [[ThrowItIn ad-libbed]], and you can clearly see Cleavon Little struggling not to crack up right there. While he is struggling at the start, as if he's thinking "He's going to say something funny, I just know it," [[{{Corpsing}} he breaks down into tears of all the laughter]] the second he hears "morons".

* Hedley, after being shot and spotting Douglas Fairbanks's footprints in the forecourt of Grauman's Chinese Theatre: "How did he do such fantastic stunts with such little feet??!" He then uses the last of his strength to leave his own mark on the concrete, down to his signature.

* The gradual reveal that pretty much ''everyone'' in Rockridge has the last name 'Johnson' -- [[IncestIsRelative which has certain implications...]]

* "And now, from the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke... ''(a bundle of lit dynamite sticks is tossed through the window)'' [[AstonishinglyAppropriateInterruption ...and duck!]]"

* "[[SpellMyNameWithAnS IT'S HEDLEY!]]" Especially when said to the woman who's actually talking about Hedy Lamarr.

* The campfire scene. Cowboys + baked beans = one of the first fart jokes on film. As Creator/MelBrooks himself once said, "It truly broke ground, and it broke wind."

--> '''Board Member:''' HARUMPH!

---> '''Governor Will J. Le Petomane:''' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WolIS6PfJfQ Work, work, work, work, work...]]''(Leans over to talk to the [[DistractedByTheSexy voluptuous]] [[BuxomIsBetter busty]] [[SexySecretary red-headed secretary's]] [[CleavageWindow cleavage]].)'' Hello, boys! Have a good-night's rest? I missed you!

** Lili, to another cowboy: "Is that a ten gallon hat, or are you just enjoying the show?"

* During the pie fight, Taggart is hurtled to the cash register covered in food.