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** Aforementioned dive into shark infested waters? That's the pre-trial of Endurance. And the leap is on a makeshift diving board which looks ''very'' rickety, prompting the Eagle Bearer to ask something about the previous contestants.
--->'''Eagle Bearer:''' Was everyone who took this trial drunk?\\
'''Trial Master:''' [[BluntYes Yes, actually.]]
** After completing the three pre-trials, you meet up again with Leiandros, who offers to sell the tokens back to you (for a reasonable price). By this point, the Eagle Bearer has reached a state of Officially Done With This.
--->'''Eagle Bearer:''' ''(after yet another scamming attempt)'' BY THE GODS!


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** The Eagle Bearer's response to realizing the whole thing is a trap? Becoming ''really'' done with everything.
--->'''Eagle Bearer:''' ''(as the thugs approach)'' I'm going to start stabbing until someone tells me what's going on.



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* In the Lost Tale of Greece quest "The Trial of Sokrates", the Eagle Bearer, looking for someone to help Sokrates, runs into a young kid called Aristokles... or Plato, as his brother called him. After a few seconds of conversation, it turns out the kid is already showing the philosophical chops he'll be known for, and the Eagle Bearer is ''exactly'' as thrilled as you'd imagine to meet a miniature Sokrates (one of the dialogue choice actually is "not another one").
-->'''Aristokles:''' ''(about the symposium)'' Everyone here is seeking the same thing.\\
'''Eagle Bearer:''' Headaches?
* During the same quest, the Eagle Bearer meets and saves one of Soky's students, who's being hunted by the Cult. They ask the Eagle Bearer to prove they know Sokrates. One dialogue option has the Eagle Bearer complain about how Sokrates talks, and talks and ''talks''. The student then concedes that while he doesn't agree with this, it does prove they know him alright.
* Also during the quest, the Eagle Bearer meets Sokrates's wife, Xanthippe. Who he never mentioned before. The Eagle Bearer is, understandably, a bit annoyed at this. Later on, Sokrates talks to the Eagle Bearer about their relationship, mentioning she puts him in mind of a horse.
-->'''Eagle Bearer:''' Maybe ''don't'' call her a horse.\\
'''Sokrates:''' Too late.


* In the third, the Eagle Bearer meets an Isu in Atlantis named Neodokles looking to restore a failing garden through SCIENCE! The result is the Eagle Bearer, a mercenary from 4th century BCE Greece, having ''no idea'' what he's talking about when he breaks out the {{Technobabble}}.

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* In the third, the Eagle Bearer meets an Isu in Atlantis named Neodokles Neokles looking to restore a failing garden through SCIENCE! The result is the Eagle Bearer, a mercenary from 4th century BCE Greece, having ''no idea'' what he's talking about when he breaks out the {{Technobabble}}.


** Find a guy to train the villagers? He's convinced his helmet makes him fireproof, and demands you test this on him. Which you can do. Then you can loot the helmet off him, which manages to defy all logic by having an armor rating of ''zero''.

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** Find a guy to train the villagers? He's convinced his helmet makes him fireproof, and demands you test this on him. Which you can do. Then you can loot the helmet off him, which manages to defy all logic by having an armor rating of ''zero''. The helmet's description even notes that it's highly flammable. The ''metal'' helmet.



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* In the third, the Eagle Bearer meets an Isu in Atlantis named Neodokles looking to restore a failing garden through SCIENCE! The result is the Eagle Bearer, a mercenary from 4th century BCE Greece, having ''no idea'' what he's talking about when he breaks out the {{Technobabble}}.


* The protagonist insults a giant, hulking, one-eyed mercenary named "The Cyclops" by shoving his obsidian eye up a ''goat's butt'' before slapping it and sending it running off, then calmly telling him to "Go get it." The Cyclops' subsequent howl of shock and rage really makes the scene.

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* The protagonist insults a giant, hulking, one-eyed mercenary named "The Cyclops" by shoving his obsidian eye up a ''goat's butt'' before slapping it and sending it running off, then calmly telling him to "Go get it." it", not breaking eye contact with the thug the whole time. The Cyclops' subsequent howl of shock and rage really makes the scene.


** Find a guy to train the villagers? He's convinced his helmet makes him fireproof, and demands you test this on him. Which you can do.

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** Find a guy to train the villagers? He's convinced his helmet makes him fireproof, and demands you test this on him. Which you can do. Then you can loot the helmet off him, which manages to defy all logic by having an armor rating of ''zero''.


* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FY-0Ot7rVq0&t=336s&list=LLls2IZlGjK6fvNnm6QIRKYw&index=2 The actors answer questions in character]]. Alexios takes his status as non-canon [[SarcasmMode quite well]].

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* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FY-0Ot7rVq0&t=336s&list=LLls2IZlGjK6fvNnm6QIRKYw&index=2 The actors answer questions in character]]. Alexios takes his status as the non-canon protagonist [[SarcasmMode quite well]].


-->'''Alexios''': (blows horn) Awake! Apollo's steeds appear on the horizon!

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-->'''Alexios''': (blows horn) ([[MemeticMutation blows horn]]) Awake! Apollo's steeds appear on the horizon!


* Everything about Alkibiades. His first appearance involves him walking around a crowded party naked (which, if not for the limitations of the rating, the would not have had that cloth around his waist), his inviting you to an orgy with men, women, and ''goats'', and his flamboyant dialog that always makes him sound ''incredibly'' drunk, which he probably ''is.'' His silly and prancy musical leitmotif plays whenever in a dialogue mode with him, which makes it even harder to take situations he's involved in seriously.

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* Everything about Alkibiades. His first appearance involves him walking around a crowded party naked (which, if not for the limitations of the rating, the he would not have had that cloth around his waist), his inviting you to an orgy with men, women, and ''goats'', and his flamboyant dialog that always makes him sound ''incredibly'' drunk, which he probably ''is.'' His silly and prancy musical leitmotif plays whenever in a dialogue mode with him, which makes it even harder to take situations he's involved in seriously.


-->'''Layla:'' There aren't enough pouches on this belt? Here, hold my beer - in this pouch.

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-->'''Layla:'' -->'''Layla:''' There aren't enough pouches on this belt? Here, hold my beer - in this pouch.
* The second episode of ''Fate of Atlantis'' has the Eagle Bearer run into the Cyclops again. Death has done nothing to improve his temper. This time, the Eagle Bearer threatens to take his other eye, and shove it up ''his'' ass this time. And just as he's threatening them... a goat appears out of nowhere. He then panics and sends his henchmen after it, rather than the armed, ''angry'' mercenary in front of him.


** Earlier still, Kosta's referring to his penis as a "spear," which is currently "broken" necessitating finding flowers of Aphrodite. Even the ''Misthios'' gets mixed up.
** The ''Misthios'' will also make the same mental leap the player probably did, and start calling Supideo 'Stupideo'.

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** Earlier still, Kosta's referring to his penis as a "spear," which is currently "broken" necessitating finding flowers of Aphrodite. Even the ''Misthios'' Eagle Bearer gets mixed up.
** The ''Misthios'' Eagle Bearer will also make the same mental leap the player probably did, and start calling Supideo 'Stupideo'.



* Barnabas describes the ''misthios'' as "fighting like Athena and shitting thunder like Zeus".

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* Barnabas describes the ''misthios'' Eagle Bearer as "fighting like Athena and shitting thunder like Zeus".



* Throughout the prologue, the entire island has been cowering in fear of the Cyclops. When the protagonist finds him, he's drowning Barnabus in a pot for accidentally stomping on his BerserkButton. But the ''misthios'' just looks completely bored, making it clear that this happens ''all the time''.

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* Throughout the prologue, the entire island has been cowering in fear of the Cyclops. When the protagonist finds him, he's drowning Barnabus in a pot for accidentally stomping on his BerserkButton. But the ''misthios'' Eagle Bearer just looks completely bored, making it clear that this happens ''all the time''.



** Long ago, there was a leak of a screenshot, featuring a man named "Testikles." People thought it was a joke, until we found out ''he's actually in the game,'' as the original Pankration champion, who the ''Misthios'' has to escort to the games at the behest of Pausanias, one of the Kings of Sparta. The reason for this is that his trainer put him on an isolated island to train, as otherwise he'd end up getting into trouble, like knocking out five people and a bull on the way to the market to buy fruit.

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** Long ago, there was a leak of a screenshot, featuring a man named "Testikles." People thought it was a joke, until we found out ''he's actually in the game,'' as the original Pankration champion, who the ''Misthios'' Eagle Bearer has to escort to the games at the behest of Pausanias, one of the Kings of Sparta. The reason for this is that his trainer put him on an isolated island to train, as otherwise he'd end up getting into trouble, like knocking out five people and a bull on the way to the market to buy fruit.



--->'''The Misthios''': Surely, he can swim. (they and Alkibiades watch as a shark swims away, blood in the water)

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--->'''The Misthios''': Eagle Bearer''': Surely, he can swim. (they and Alkibiades watch as a shark swims away, blood in the water)



--->'''The ''Misthios''''': (sighs) Pephka, land of heroes.

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--->'''The ''Misthios''''': Eagle Bearer''': (sighs) Pephka, land of heroes.



** When Leiandros asks the ''Misthios'' if he should sneak through the enemy fortress with him/her:
--->'''The Misthios''': No. You're wearing horns...

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** When Leiandros asks the ''Misthios'' Eagle Bearer if he should sneak through the enemy fortress with him/her:
--->'''The Misthios''': Eagle Bearer''': No. You're wearing horns...



* The ''Misthios'' parties too hard, drinks too much wine, and even partakes in hallucinogenic mushrooms. The next morning, they and several Spartan soldiers are hungover on the beach, and they recount the events of last night to themselves:
-->'''Misthios:''' Surely this is the aftereffect of the mushrooms. I remember the chicken coop, I remember the farmer's fields, I do ''not'' remember building a Trojan Horse. (all turn to the Trojan Horse replica in the distance)

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* The ''Misthios'' Eagle Bearer parties too hard, drinks too much wine, and even partakes in hallucinogenic mushrooms. The next morning, they and several Spartan soldiers are hungover on the beach, and they recount the events of last night to themselves:
-->'''Misthios:''' -->'''Eagle Bearer:''' Surely this is the aftereffect of the mushrooms. I remember the chicken coop, I remember the farmer's fields, I do ''not'' remember building a Trojan Horse. (all turn to the Trojan Horse replica in the distance)



* The enemy AI actually manages to allow them to make stupid decisions in technically a show of ArtificialBrilliance. If you're attacking a group of human enemies from range and they haven't detected you, and a civilian shows up nearby, it's possible for them to conclude "HEY! THAT GUY DID IT!" and start chasing them, leading to hilarious Creator/BennyHill style chases where the ''Misthios'' runs after a procession of bandits chasing some random peasant.

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* The enemy AI actually manages to allow them to make stupid decisions in technically a show of ArtificialBrilliance. If you're attacking a group of human enemies from range and they haven't detected you, and a civilian shows up nearby, it's possible for them to conclude "HEY! THAT GUY DID IT!" and start chasing them, leading to hilarious Creator/BennyHill style chases where the ''Misthios'' Eagle Bearer runs after a procession of bandits chasing some random peasant.



* After the ''Misthios'' is imprisoned in Athens, and Kleon sicks two (thankfully unarmed) goons to beat them up, Barnabas and Sokrates valiantly break into their cell... ''after'' the ''Mithios'' had already beaten their attackers to submission. The looks on their faces are amplified by the fact that they're both wielding farm tools, the same weapons that civilians will pick up against you, and are about as effective as you'd expect them to be.

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* After the ''Misthios'' Eagle Bearer is imprisoned in Athens, and Kleon sicks two (thankfully unarmed) goons to beat them up, Barnabas and Sokrates valiantly break into their cell... ''after'' the ''Mithios'' had already beaten their attackers to submission. The looks on their faces are amplified by the fact that they're both wielding farm tools, the same weapons that civilians will pick up against you, and are about as effective as you'd expect them to be.



* Outside of Conquest Battles, Athens and Sparta are both neutral to you until you antagonize them or break their laws, as by trespassing. This can lead to hilarious moments where the two warring factions come into conflict and the ''Misthios'' [[http://mustachedmrblender.tumblr.com/post/179161460069/priorities is perfectly allowed to completely ignore them and do their own thing.]]

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* Outside of Conquest Battles, Athens and Sparta are both neutral to you until you antagonize them or break their laws, as by trespassing. This can lead to hilarious moments where the two warring factions come into conflict and the ''Misthios'' Eagle Bearer [[http://mustachedmrblender.tumblr.com/post/179161460069/priorities is perfectly allowed to completely ignore them and do their own thing.]]



* A side-quest on one island has the Misthios helping a young woman trying to get a suitor's attention, only for a woman claiming to be a witch offering to "help". All the Misthios has to do is fetch these funny mushrooms and some very strong wine... should they do so, the next night they find out the result is (sadly) not a MushroomSamba, but all the poor girl's hair fell out. The witch was playing ClingyJealousGirl, and had been expecting a nasty rash - but is still happy with the results. Depending on the player's choices, the Misthios can try to kill her, or just yell out "Guards, there's a witch here!" and get them to do it instead - no bounty risk. Should they do that, her newly widowed hubby just shrugs it off with "I ''knew'' there was something suspicious about her".

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* A side-quest on one island has the Misthios Eagle Bearer helping a young woman trying to get a suitor's attention, only for a woman claiming to be a witch offering to "help". All the Misthios Eagle Bearer has to do is fetch these funny mushrooms and some very strong wine... should they do so, the next night they find out the result is (sadly) not a MushroomSamba, but all the poor girl's hair fell out. The witch was playing ClingyJealousGirl, and had been expecting a nasty rash - but is still happy with the results. Depending on the player's choices, the Misthios Eagle Bearer can try to kill her, or just yell out "Guards, there's a witch here!" and get them to do it instead - no bounty risk. Should they do that, her newly widowed hubby just shrugs it off with "I ''knew'' there was something suspicious about her".



* One of the Lost Tales of Greece begins in a pirate camp. As you approach, you might be expecting, based on other bandit camps, that this is going to turn into a murderfest. But once the ''Misthios'' gets there, a cutscene begins showing the pirates have all gotten completely stoned out of their gourds... and so has ''Barnabas''.

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* One of the Lost Tales of Greece begins in a pirate camp. As you approach, you might be expecting, based on other bandit camps, that this is going to turn into a murderfest. But once the ''Misthios'' Eagle Bearer gets there, a cutscene begins showing the pirates have all gotten completely stoned out of their gourds... and so has ''Barnabas''.



* The Lost Tale of Greece quest "One Really, Really Bad Day" is just an exercise in the darkest comedy imaginable, as the ''Misthios'', trying to help a village that's been snookered by a con artist pretending to be them, keeps making things worse. And the player is torn between laughing their head off at the absurdity and stupidity or just shaking their head in despair.

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* The Lost Tale of Greece quest "One Really, Really Bad Day" is just an exercise in the darkest comedy imaginable, as the ''Misthios'', Eagle Bearer, trying to help a village that's been snookered by a con artist pretending to be them, keeps making things worse. And the player is torn between laughing their head off at the absurdity and stupidity or just shaking their head in despair.



*** Choose to kill this guy for causing all these headaches in the first place, and you get four dramatic zoom-in shots: ''Misthios'' versus "Eagle Bearer", and Ikaros versus Chicken. The dramatic music cuts out at that last bit.

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*** Choose to kill this guy for causing all these headaches in the first place, and you get four dramatic zoom-in shots: ''Misthios'' Eagle Bearer versus "Eagle Bearer", and Ikaros versus Chicken. The dramatic music cuts out at that last bit.



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* The Lost Tale of Greece quest "One Really, Really Bad Day" is just an exercise in the darkest comedy imaginable, as the ''Misthios'', trying to help a village that's been snookered by a con artist pretending to be them, keeps making things worse. And the player is torn between laughing their head off at the absurdity and stupidity or just shaking their head in despair.
** Get rid of the pirates about to attack, with alarmingly suspicious ease? Those were the village's back-up. Disguised as pirates.
** Help a blind blacksmith get his tools back? He trips over his own forge and is crushed by his equipment falling on him. While his dog watches.
** Fetch a general's horse? The owner believes she's found a way to turn it into Pegasus, and if you can't persuade her otherwise, will make the poor thing ''leap off a goddamn cliff''! (Which, naturally, the villagers blame ''you'' for.)
** Find a guy to train the villagers? He's convinced his helmet makes him fireproof, and demands you test this on him. Which you can do.
** At the end of the quest, you get to meet the one responsible. They've done a really bad job imitating Kassandra / Alexios. Their bird can't even fly - it's a ''chicken''!
*** Choose to kill this guy for causing all these headaches in the first place, and you get four dramatic zoom-in shots: ''Misthios'' versus "Eagle Bearer", and Ikaros versus Chicken. The dramatic music cuts out at that last bit.
* One of the store packs is a set of Abstergo-brand gear. The item descriptions are full of Layla snark at the blatant anachronism. And then there's the pack's belt item.
-->'''Layla:'' There aren't enough pouches on this belt? Here, hold my beer - in this pouch.

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* One of the Lost Tales of Greece begins in a pirate camp. As you approach, you might be expecting, based on other bandit camps, that this is going to turn into a murderfest. But once the ''Misthios'' gets there, a cutscene begins showing the pirates have all gotten completely stoned out of their gourds... and so has ''Barnabas''.
* Some of the random quests can be funny, simply for how ''petty'' the reasons the quest-giver orders someone's death for are, like laughing at them, or someone's brother hogging the credit for a work of art.


'''Barnabas:''' (reading from the letter) "Eagle-baring misthios."\\

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'''Barnabas:''' (reading from the letter) "Eagle-baring "Eagle-bearing misthios."\\

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