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Changed line(s) 16 (click to see context) from:
** While canon!Dylan was practically a prisoner in the Panopticon, being treated like a test-subject eventually driving him insane and unleashing the Hiss all throughout the Oldest House, here Dylan and Jesse seemed to have more free-range in the Oldest House. This led to a less-disturbed Dylan taking over as Acting-Director with Trench close to retirement, Jesse becoming Ahti's assistant and the Bureau running business as usual without the Hiss ever manifesting.
to:
** While canon!Dylan was practically a prisoner in the Panopticon, being treated like a test-subject eventually driving him insane and unleashing the Hiss all throughout the Oldest House, here Dylan and Jesse seemed to have more free-range in the Oldest House. This led to a less-disturbed Dylan taking over as Acting-Director with Trench close to retirement, Jesse becoming Ahti's assistant and the Bureau running business as usual without the Hiss ever manifesting. [[spoiler:At least, not until a trip to the Formation goes south...]]
* InSpiteOfANail: [[spoiler: The Hiss invasion still happens, but instead of it happening before Jessie enters the Oldest House like in canon, here it starts while she's on a trip to the Formation.]]
* InSpiteOfANail: [[spoiler: The Hiss invasion still happens, but instead of it happening before Jessie enters the Oldest House like in canon, here it starts while she's on a trip to the Formation.]]
Changed line(s) 29 (click to see context) from:
* TheStationsOfTheCanon: While the Hiss Invasion doesn't happen and Jesse is without her Director-status (and the Service Weapon), many of the unrelated problems going on in the Oldest House like the Mold infestation and Dr. Hartman in the Investigation Sector are still happening, Jesse being the one to fix them.
to:
* TheStationsOfTheCanon: While the Hiss Invasion doesn't happen [[spoiler: (at least, not right away)]] and Jesse is without her Director-status (and the Service Weapon), many of the unrelated problems going on in the Oldest House like the Mold infestation and Dr. Hartman in the Investigation Sector are still happening, Jesse being the one to fix them.
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Changed line(s) 7 (click to see context) from:
* AdaptationPersonalityChange: While being groomed from a young age to run the Bureau wasn't exactly the most ideal of childhoods, here it's implied that Trench had a more hands-on approach in preparing Dylan for the role. While his canon-counterpart suffered from a serious SanitySlippage due to the Bureau's negligence, here he's a JerkWithAHeartOfGold who takes his job as Director seriously.
to:
* AdaptationPersonalityChange: While being groomed from a young age to run the Bureau wasn't exactly the most ideal of childhoods, here it's implied that Trench had a more hands-on approach in preparing Dylan for the role. While his canon-counterpart suffered from a serious SanitySlippage due to the Bureau's negligence, here he's a JerkWithAHeartOfGold who takes his job as Director Acting-Director seriously.
Changed line(s) 16 (click to see context) from:
** While canon!Dylan was practically a prisoner in the Panopticon, being treated like a test-subject eventually driving him insane and unleashing the Hiss all throughout the Oldest House, here Dylan and Jesse seemed to have more free-range in the Oldest House. This led to a less-disturbed Dylan taking over as Director when Trench retired, Jesse becoming Ahti's assistant and the Bureau running business as usual without the Hiss ever manifesting.
to:
** While canon!Dylan was practically a prisoner in the Panopticon, being treated like a test-subject eventually driving him insane and unleashing the Hiss all throughout the Oldest House, here Dylan and Jesse seemed to have more free-range in the Oldest House. This led to a less-disturbed Dylan taking over as Director when Acting-Director with Trench retired, close to retirement, Jesse becoming Ahti's assistant and the Bureau running business as usual without the Hiss ever manifesting.
Changed line(s) 22 (click to see context) from:
* MultipleChoiceChosen: It's implied that while Trench picked Dylan to be his successor (him wielding the Service Weapon being proof of his worth), Jesse is equally qualified.
to:
* MultipleChoiceChosen: It's implied that while Trench picked Dylan to be his successor (him wielding the Service Weapon being proof of his worth), successor, Jesse is equally qualified.
Changed line(s) 27 (click to see context) from:
* SparedByTheAdaptation: While Trench AteHisGun at the start of ''Control'', here he retired from the role of Director and passed it down to Dylan.
to:
* SparedByTheAdaptation: While Trench AteHisGun at the start of ''Control'', here he retired from the role of Director and passed it down to Dylan.is still very much alive with Dylan as his NumberTwo.
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Deleted line(s) 12 (click to see context) :
* ClaimedByTheSupernatural: Whenever a parautilitarian bonds with an altered item or Object of Power, a tattoo of that object manifests on their person.
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* MarkOfTheSupernatural: Whenever a parautilitarian bonds with an altered item or Object of Power, a tattoo of that object manifests on their person.
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* FailedAttemptAtDrama: When Dylan scolds Jesse for being in possession of an iPod, he tries pointing to a poster saying as much to emphasize his point, only to accidentally point to a "Don't Eat the Mold" poster.
Changed line(s) 19 (click to see context) from:
* KickTheDog: When Dylan catches Jesse with an [=iPod=], he takes it, shoots it and scolds her for having unauthorized tech within the Oldest House. What makes this sting is that 1) she's his sister and all she ever does is try to please him, 2) being in Bureau-custody means she doesn't have much of the way of personal property to begin with, and 3) it was in the lost-and-found, so she wasn't the one who broke any rules.
to:
* JerkWithAHeartOfGold: In the first two chapters, Dylan acts like an entitled jerk who sees Jesse's ''very'' limited autonomy as her undermining his authority. Later on, he apologizes for his behavior and decides to involve her in business relegated to the Oldest House, even sending her to the Investigation Sector to rescue Altered Items left there.
* KickTheDog: When Dylan catches Jesse with an [=iPod=], he takes it, shoots it and scolds her for having unauthorized tech within the OldestHouse.House, violating his "trust" and making him look bad. What makes this sting is that 1) she's his sister and all she ever does is try to please him, 2) being in Bureau-custody means she doesn't have much of the way of personal property to begin with, and 3) it was in the lost-and-found, so she wasn't the one who broke any rules. Even worse, this comes right after scolding her for using her "Otherness" (her Dash ability), disregarding the fact that she did it to prevent an Altered Item from hurting Emily.
* KickTheDog: When Dylan catches Jesse with an [=iPod=], he takes it, shoots it and scolds her for having unauthorized tech within the Oldest
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Changed line(s) 19 (click to see context) from:
* KickTheDog: When Dylan catches Jesse with an [=MP3=]-player, he takes it, shoots it and scolds her for having unauthorized tech within the Oldest House. What makes this sting is that 1) she's his sister and all she ever does is try to please him, 2) being in Bureau-custody means she doesn't have much of the way of personal property to begin with, and 3) it was in the lost-and-found, so she wasn't the one who broke any rules.
to:
* KickTheDog: When Dylan catches Jesse with an [=MP3=]-player, [=iPod=], he takes it, shoots it and scolds her for having unauthorized tech within the Oldest House. What makes this sting is that 1) she's his sister and all she ever does is try to please him, 2) being in Bureau-custody means she doesn't have much of the way of personal property to begin with, and 3) it was in the lost-and-found, so she wasn't the one who broke any rules.
Changed line(s) 22 (click to see context) from:
* PetTheDog: Emily will routinely provide Jesse small acts of kindness -- like giving her a box full of VHS tapes for recreational purposes -- in her brief time as her supervisor. While Jesse is naturally suspicious of these bouts of altruism, [[BecauseYouWereNiceToMe she is grateful regardless]], having been treated either as a test-subject or a criminal for most of her life.
to:
* PetTheDog: PetTheDog:
** Emily will routinely provide Jesse small acts of kindness -- like giving her a box full of VHS tapes for recreational purposes -- in her brief time as her supervisor. While Jesse is naturally suspicious of these bouts of altruism, [[BecauseYouWereNiceToMe she is grateful regardless]], having been treated either as a test-subject or a criminal for most of herlife.life.
** It's implied that the iPod Jesse found in the lost-and-found bin was deliberately left there by Ahti as a gift for her.
** Emily will routinely provide Jesse small acts of kindness -- like giving her a box full of VHS tapes for recreational purposes -- in her brief time as her supervisor. While Jesse is naturally suspicious of these bouts of altruism, [[BecauseYouWereNiceToMe she is grateful regardless]], having been treated either as a test-subject or a criminal for most of her
** It's implied that the iPod Jesse found in the lost-and-found bin was deliberately left there by Ahti as a gift for her.
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Changed line(s) 19 (click to see context) from:
* KickTheDog: When Dylan catches Jesse with an MP3-player, he takes it, shoots it and scolds her for having unauthorized tech within the Oldest House. What makes this sting is that 1) she's his sister and all she ever does is try to please him, 2) being in Bureau-custody means she doesn't have much of the way of personal property to begin with, and 3) it was in the lost-and-found, so she wasn't the one who broke any rules.
to:
* KickTheDog: When Dylan catches Jesse with an MP3-player, [=MP3=]-player, he takes it, shoots it and scolds her for having unauthorized tech within the Oldest House. What makes this sting is that 1) she's his sister and all she ever does is try to please him, 2) being in Bureau-custody means she doesn't have much of the way of personal property to begin with, and 3) it was in the lost-and-found, so she wasn't the one who broke any rules.
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* BlankBook: While most people see the contents of a regular novel in ''Unless You'', Dylan sees it as this.
Changed line(s) 17 (click to see context) from:
* ItIsDehumanizing: While most of the Bureau sees Jesse as more Bureau-property than an autonomous human being, Trench in particular refers to her as "It", not even addressing her while she's in the room.
to:
* ItIsDehumanizing: While most of the Bureau sees Since Jesse is seen as more like Bureau-property than an autonomous human being, being by most of the Bureau's staff, they tend to call her "P7" or "Lab rat." Trench in particular refers to her as "It", not even addressing her while she's in the room.room.
* KickTheDog: When Dylan catches Jesse with an MP3-player, he takes it, shoots it and scolds her for having unauthorized tech within the Oldest House. What makes this sting is that 1) she's his sister and all she ever does is try to please him, 2) being in Bureau-custody means she doesn't have much of the way of personal property to begin with, and 3) it was in the lost-and-found, so she wasn't the one who broke any rules.
* KickTheDog: When Dylan catches Jesse with an MP3-player, he takes it, shoots it and scolds her for having unauthorized tech within the Oldest House. What makes this sting is that 1) she's his sister and all she ever does is try to please him, 2) being in Bureau-custody means she doesn't have much of the way of personal property to begin with, and 3) it was in the lost-and-found, so she wasn't the one who broke any rules.
Changed line(s) 19 (click to see context) from:
--> '''<Hello Rightful/ Alternate/ REDACTED Director>'''
to:
--> '''<Hello '''[[WhamLine <Hello Rightful/ Alternate/ REDACTED Director>'''Director>]]'''
Added DiffLines:
* SpottingTheThread: Jesse wouldn't have noticed the anomalous properties of ''Unless You'' if she had trouble remembering an employee named "Penny" (who was one of the alleged members of the FBC's Book Club). When she gets to Emily, she questions her about the person who gave her the book, and all she can really remember is that her name was Penny and nothing else.
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Added DiffLines:
* ItIsDehumanizing: While most of the Bureau sees Jesse as more Bureau-property than an autonomous human being, Trench in particular refers to her as "It", not even addressing her while she's in the room.
* MultipleChoiceChosen: It's implied that while Trench picked Dylan to be his successor (him wielding the Service Weapon being proof of his worth), Jesse is equally qualified.
--> '''<Hello Rightful/ Alternate/ REDACTED Director>'''
* MultipleChoiceChosen: It's implied that while Trench picked Dylan to be his successor (him wielding the Service Weapon being proof of his worth), Jesse is equally qualified.
--> '''<Hello Rightful/ Alternate/ REDACTED Director>'''
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Added line(s) 9 (click to see context) :
* AffectionateNickname: Langston -- one of the few people in the Bureau that doesn't look to Jesse with contempt -- calls her "Speaker" because of her uncanny skill in pacifying troublesome Altered Items.
Deleted line(s) 9 (click to see context) :
* AffectionateNickname: Langston -- one of the few people in the Bureau that doesn't look to Jesse with contempt -- calls her "Speaker" because of her uncanny skill in pacifying troublesome Altered Items.
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Added DiffLines:
* AffectionateNickname: Langston -- one of the few people in the Bureau that doesn't look to Jesse with contempt -- calls her "Speaker" because of her uncanny skill in pacifying troublesome Altered Items.
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* IntelligibleUnintelligible: While in canon Jesse only ever gets the gist of what Polaris tries relaying to her, here Jesse seems to understand Polaris as though they were having an active conversation.
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Changed line(s) 7 (click to see context) from:
* AdaptationalPersonalityChange: While being groomed from a young age to run the Bureau wasn't exactly the most ideal of childhoods, here it's implied that Trench had a more hands-on approach in preparing Dylan for the role. While his canon-counterpart suffered from a serious SanitySlippage due to the Bureau's negligence, here he's a JerkWithAHeartOfGold who takes his job as Director seriously.
to:
* AdaptationalPersonalityChange: AdaptationPersonalityChange: While being groomed from a young age to run the Bureau wasn't exactly the most ideal of childhoods, here it's implied that Trench had a more hands-on approach in preparing Dylan for the role. While his canon-counterpart suffered from a serious SanitySlippage due to the Bureau's negligence, here he's a JerkWithAHeartOfGold who takes his job as Director seriously.
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Changed line(s) 12 (click to see context) from:
* ForWantOfANail: In canon, Dylan was the only one taken by the Bureau, with Jesse being monitored from afar as a control group in the Prime Candidate Program. Here, they were both taken.
to:
* ForWantOfANail: ForWantOfANail:
** In canon, Dylan was the only one taken by the Bureau, with Jesse being monitored from afar as a control group in the Prime Candidate Program. Here, they were both taken.
** In canon, Dylan was the only one taken by the Bureau, with Jesse being monitored from afar as a control group in the Prime Candidate Program. Here, they were both taken.
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* ForWantOfANail: In canon, Dylan was the only one taken by the Bureau, with Jesse being monitored from afar as a control group in the Prime Candidate Program. Here, they were both taken.
** While canon!Dylan was practically a prisoner in the Panopticon, being treated like a test-subject eventually driving him insane and unleashing the Hiss all throughout the Oldest House, here Dylan and Jesse seemed to have more free-range in the Oldest House. This led to a less-disturbed Dylan taking over as Director when Trench retired, Jesse becoming Ahti's assistant and the Bureau running business as usual without the Hiss ever manifesting.
** While canon!Dylan was practically a prisoner in the Panopticon, being treated like a test-subject eventually driving him insane and unleashing the Hiss all throughout the Oldest House, here Dylan and Jesse seemed to have more free-range in the Oldest House. This led to a less-disturbed Dylan taking over as Director when Trench retired, Jesse becoming Ahti's assistant and the Bureau running business as usual without the Hiss ever manifesting.
Changed line(s) 13 (click to see context) from:
* TheStationsOfCanon: While the Hiss Invasion doesn't happen and Jesse is without her Director-status (and the Service Weapon), many of the unrelated problems going on in the Oldest House like the Mold infestation and Dr. Hartman in the Investigation Sector are still happening, Jesse being the one to fix them.
to:
* TheStationsOfCanon: SparedByTheAdaptation: While Trench AteHisGun at the start of ''Control'', here he retired from the role of Director and passed it down to Dylan.
* TheStationsOfTheCanon: While the Hiss Invasion doesn't happen and Jesse is without her Director-status (and the Service Weapon), many of the unrelated problems going on in the Oldest House like the Mold infestation and Dr. Hartman in the Investigation Sector are still happening, Jesse being the one to fix them.
* TheStationsOfTheCanon: While the Hiss Invasion doesn't happen and Jesse is without her Director-status (and the Service Weapon), many of the unrelated problems going on in the Oldest House like the Mold infestation and Dr. Hartman in the Investigation Sector are still happening, Jesse being the one to fix them.
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Added DiffLines:
Added DiffLines:
* AlmightyJanitor: Literally. This version of Jesse is the janitor's assistant (a literal example in this case), so she doesn't have the same clearance or parautility as her canon-counterpart. However, she is still able to accomplish things her canon-counterpart could regardless, including ending the Mold infection, rescue the altered items lost in the Investigation Sector, managing to escape Dr. Hartman (something whole swaths of Rangers couldn't do), be the first to realize that the book being read in the FBC book club is a particularly dangerous Altered Item and so on.
* AwesomenessByAnalysis: With nothing but stray documents to go on, Jesse was able to figure out that ''Unless You'' -- a novel being passed around amongst Bureau staff -- is actually [[ArtifactOfDoom an Altered Item that is killing its readers]] and manages to get it away from Emily before it could take effect.
* AwesomenessByAnalysis: With nothing but stray documents to go on, Jesse was able to figure out that ''Unless You'' -- a novel being passed around amongst Bureau staff -- is actually [[ArtifactOfDoom an Altered Item that is killing its readers]] and manages to get it away from Emily before it could take effect.
Added DiffLines:
* TheStationsOfCanon: While the Hiss Invasion doesn't happen and Jesse is without her Director-status (and the Service Weapon), many of the unrelated problems going on in the Oldest House like the Mold infestation and Dr. Hartman in the Investigation Sector are still happening, Jesse being the one to fix them.
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Added DiffLines:
17 years ago, the town of Ordinary, Maine suffered from cataclysmic paranatural phenomena, or an Altered World Event, that left only two survivors; Jesse Faden and her brother Dylan. While one version of events led to Dylan being taken by the Federal Bureau of Control with Jesse out looking for him, here they were both taken. While Dylan became the new Director of the Bureau like Trench wanted, Jesse (or "P7") is left to work as the personal assistant to the janitor Ahti.
''Ordinary Girl'' is a ''VideoGame/{{Control}}'' fanfic written by [=The_Unqualified1=] and can be read on Website/ArchiveOfOurOwn [[https://archiveofourown.org/works/30045675/chapters/73987896 here]].
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!!''Ordinary Girl'' provides examples of:
* AdaptationalPersonalityChange: While being groomed from a young age to run the Bureau wasn't exactly the most ideal of childhoods, here it's implied that Trench had a more hands-on approach in preparing Dylan for the role. While his canon-counterpart suffered from a serious SanitySlippage due to the Bureau's negligence, here he's a JerkWithAHeartOfGold who takes his job as Director seriously.
* ClaimedByTheSupernatural: Whenever a parautilitarian bonds with an altered item or Object of Power, a tattoo of that object manifests on their person.
* FlorenceNightingaleEffect: Having a patient/doctor relationship in this version, Jesse's attraction to Emily (with implications that they are reciprocated) come across as this.
* PetTheDog: Emily will routinely provide Jesse small acts of kindness -- like giving her a box full of VHS tapes for recreational purposes -- in her brief time as her supervisor. While Jesse is naturally suspicious of these bouts of altruism, [[BecauseYouWereNiceToMe she is grateful regardless]], having been treated either as a test-subject or a criminal for most of her life.
----
''Ordinary Girl'' is a ''VideoGame/{{Control}}'' fanfic written by [=The_Unqualified1=] and can be read on Website/ArchiveOfOurOwn [[https://archiveofourown.org/works/30045675/chapters/73987896 here]].
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!!''Ordinary Girl'' provides examples of:
* AdaptationalPersonalityChange: While being groomed from a young age to run the Bureau wasn't exactly the most ideal of childhoods, here it's implied that Trench had a more hands-on approach in preparing Dylan for the role. While his canon-counterpart suffered from a serious SanitySlippage due to the Bureau's negligence, here he's a JerkWithAHeartOfGold who takes his job as Director seriously.
* ClaimedByTheSupernatural: Whenever a parautilitarian bonds with an altered item or Object of Power, a tattoo of that object manifests on their person.
* FlorenceNightingaleEffect: Having a patient/doctor relationship in this version, Jesse's attraction to Emily (with implications that they are reciprocated) come across as this.
* PetTheDog: Emily will routinely provide Jesse small acts of kindness -- like giving her a box full of VHS tapes for recreational purposes -- in her brief time as her supervisor. While Jesse is naturally suspicious of these bouts of altruism, [[BecauseYouWereNiceToMe she is grateful regardless]], having been treated either as a test-subject or a criminal for most of her life.
----
