History Awesome / DesperateHousewives

'''Bree''': Oh Maisy, I don't hate you. ''(sincerely)'' I pity you.\\

* Shortly after Gabrielle finds out that Carlos has cheated on her with Xiao-Mei
-->'''Xiao-Mei''': "I can go now, too?"
-->'''Gabrielle''': "No, you can start dinner."
-->'''Xiao-Mei''': "What?!"
-->'''Gabrielle''': "You're not going anywhere, not as long as you have my baby in your belly."
-->''Xiao-Mei mumbles a profanity in Chinese.''
-->'''Gabrielle''': "... I don't know what that meant, but I didn't like the tone. So just remember, I am the boss of you, or else I'm gonna make this the worst nine months of your life."
* Bree standing up to Matthew who turned out to be a murderer and is pointing a gun at her to protect Danielle despite their turbulent relationship in the Season 2 finale.

-->'''Angie''': It's in the detonator.
-->'''Patrick''': ... You bitch! ''[car explodes]''
** Patrick had lied to Angie about what he wanted the bomb for, she had no idea he would put it in her house to threaten her son's life. Angie had thus built the bomb into the detonator itself fully prepared to be ''blown up along with Patrick'' to save her son. He just unknowingly let her get away alive so she had the chance to give him that epic one-liner to begin with.

* In season three, where [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXDK5aNCQUo Lynette gives a big speech to the psychopathic woman holding her and several innocent bystanders hostage]] in a grocery store. After Nora gets shot and killed, Lynette, completely hysterical and [[BloodSplatteredInnocents her face covered in blood]] tells the shooter off, "We ''all'' have pain! But we deal with it!" Shooter: "She deserved it!" "Well ''maybe you deserved to be cheated on!''"

* Shortly after Gabrielle finds out that [[spoiler: Carlos has cheated on her with Xiao-Mei]]

* Bree standing up to [[spoiler: Matthew who turned out to be a murderer and is pointing a gun at her]] to [[spoiler: protect Danielle despite their turbulent relationship]] in the Season 2 finale.
* Bree punching Alma in the face after she [[spoiler:drugs and rapes Orson]].

-->'''Angie''': [[spoiler: It's in the detonator.]]

* In season three, where [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXDK5aNCQUo Lynette gives a big speech to the psychopathic woman holding her and several innocent bystanders hostage]] in a grocery store. After [[spoiler: Nora]] gets shot and killed, Lynette, completely hysterical and [[BloodSplatteredInnocents her face covered in blood]] tells the shooter off, "We ''all'' have pain! But we deal with it!" Shooter: "She deserved it!" "Well ''maybe you deserved to be cheated on!''"
* In the Season 7 first part of the finale, Paul [[spoiler: is kidnapped and being poisoned slowly with an IV drip full of antifreeze by Felicia. Susan shows up at the house and finds out what happens. He notices, and surreptitiously tells her he has a half an hour. Realizing the police won't get there in time, she saves Paul's life with a toy police car that had a siren.]]
* In Part 1 of the Series Finale, [[spoiler: Karen [=McCluskey=]]] takes the fall for [[spoiler: the killing of [[AssholeVictim Gabby's stepfather]] ]]

-->'''Xiao-Mei''': "What?"

-->'''Gabrielle''': "I don't know what that meant, but I didn't like the tone. So just remember, I am the boss of you, or else I'm gonna make this the worst nine months of your life."

-->'''Angie''': [[spoiler: "It's in the detonator."]]
-->'''Patrick''': You bitch!

* Season 6:

* BTW, the man playing Patrick: [[spoiler: [[PlayingAgainstType EVIL!]] Creator/JohnBarrowman]]

* In "You're Gonna Love Tomorrow", Bree is being photographed taking a pie out of an oven for a line of cookbooks she's selling. They want her to act surprised at how perfect the pie is, but Bree sees no reason why: her pies are always perfect. Her confidence in her culinary skills is admirable in the face outdated marketing standards.

* In a delusional attempt to win Bree back, George Williams begins to serenade her at her house, in the middle of a dinner party she is giving. She tries to get him to leave, but he sings even louder so she ultimately gets her shotgun out and shoots the lights out of his boombox. Then she gracefully returns to her guests.

* In Part 1 of the Series Finale, [[spoiler: Karen]] takes the fall for [[spoiler: the killing of [[AssholeVictim Gabby's stepfather]] ]]

* In season three, where [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXDK5aNCQUo Lynette gives a big speech to the psychopathic woman holding her and several innocent bystanders hostage]] in a grocery store. After [[spoiler: Norma]] gets shot and killed, Lynette, completely hysterical and [[BloodSplatteredInnocents her face covered in blood]] tells the shooter off, "We ''all'' have pain! But we deal with it!" Shooter: "She deserved it!" "Well ''maybe you deserved to be cheated on!''"

* In season three, where [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXDK5aNCQUo Lynette gives a big speech to the psychopathic woman holding her and several innocent bystanders hostage]] in a grocery store. After [[spoiler: Norma]] gets shot and killed, Lynette, completely hysterical and [[BloodSplatteredInnocents her face covered in blood]] tells the shooter off, "We ''all'' have pain! But we deal with it!" Shooter: "I was ''cheated on!''" "Well ''maybe you deserved to be cheated on!''"

* In season three, where [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXDK5aNCQUo Lynette gives a big speech to the psychopathic woman holding her and several innocent bystanders hostage]] in a grocery store. After [[spoiler: Norma]] gets shot and killed, Lynette, completely hysterical and [[BloodSpatteredInnocents her face covered in blood]] tells the shooter off, "We ''all'' have pain! But we deal with it!" Shooter: "I was ''cheated on!''" "Well ''maybe you deserved to be cheated on!''"

* In season three, where Lynette gives a big speech to the psychopathic woman holding her and several innocent bystanders hostage in a grocery store. After [[spoiler: Norma]] gets shot and killed, Lynette, completely hysterical and [[BloodSpatteredInnocents her face covered in blood]] tells the shooter off, "We ''all'' have pain! But we deal with it!" Shooter: "I was ''cheated on!''" "Well ''maybe you deserved to be cheated on!''"

* Orson finally giving [[spoiler: her mother]] the verbal taunt [[spoiler: she]] deserved while [[spoiler: she's]] been left completely paralyzed by a stroke.

* BTW, the man playing Patrick: [[spoiler: [[PlayingAgainstType EVIL!]] JohnBarrowman]]

-->''Patrick''': You bitch!

* In the Season 7 first part of the finale, Paul [[spoiler: is kidnapped and being poisoned slowly with an IV drip full of antifreeze by Felicia. Susan shows up at the house and finds out what happens. He notices, and surreptitiously tells her he has a half and hour. Realizing the police won't get there in time, she saves Paul's life with a toy police car that had a siren.]]