Yep, that title more or less sums up my feelings. I deliberately use the word 'unremarkable', of course, since the film certainly wasn't bad, and definitely had its merits: chief among them, the CGI work was great (although the whole 3D thing smelled rather strongly of bandwagon, IMHO), the environments were often breathtakingly dreamlike, and most of the character designs (Mad Hatter and Red Queen coming to mind) were absolutely wonderful. Certainly, they exemplify the remarkableness that could have been. Unfortunately, such merits found themselves overshadowed by disappointing flaws - first and foremost of which was the plot. If, like me, you're a fan of the Alice books, this one will probably be a no-brainer to you: I shouldn't have to talk about a plot at all. That was the whole schtick of the Carroll's books - to try and tie their events together would have been to smother the bizzarness that gave them their charm. By contrast, this movie didn't just have a plot; it had a boring plot. Alice is The Chosen One, and has to find a speshul sword and hack up the Jabberwocky, a once enigmatic, shapeless creature that's now been reduced to an incredibly generic dragon-thingy? That's it? Come on, Mr Burton, I've read B-Grade fanfictions with more intriguing plots than that! And then there's the acting. Now, of course, when it comes to the likes of Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter, it doesn't matter what script they're thrown into, they'll always be able to make their awesomeness shine through, because they're simply amazing actors. This film was no different. Unfortunately, despite this, both Helena and Johnny find themselves nudged off camera far too often in favour of the lead actress, who is...I don't know, I suppose things would have gotten Narmy if she'd been overly emotional, but honestly, this woman was like a robot. There's a massive gap between the properness that Alice fought to maintain in the books and...this. Plus, I'm not sure what they were going for when they told Johnny to randomly switch accents between lines, but even he couldn't make it work. So I'll just end on this note: this was an adaptation of a remarkable book, by a remarkable director, featuring remarkable actors; how in God's name did it ever manage to be so incredibly unremarkable?
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