We try to kill SCP-682

RESULT ps is AWOL and killing with 682.

TEST 682 your opponent is i DIO!

Result: [UNKNOWN]

Test: Expose 682 to Nibbles.

Result: Error. The experiment could not be launched due to the ambiguous meaning of the term "nibbles".

Test: Ask Dr. Bright to use SCP-963 to possess SCP-682. If anything goes wrong during this test, then a new rule will be added to this list.

Bump.

Result: Denied. He has previously tried, and failed.

(We're off to be the Lizard...)

Test: Force it into an infinitely long rap battle.

edited 16th Sep '16 12:05:25 PM by PastryPerson

Result: It wins.

Test: Freeze it entirely in liquid nitrogen, then shoot it. preferably while saying 'hasta la vista, baby.'

Result: Failure. 682 substantially increased its body heat. Test: Expose 682 to SCP-1616 (Nibbles)

Result: SCP-1616 made eye contact with SCP-682. 1616 ate one of 682's eyeballs. After 682 had another bout of rage, his missing eye was fully regenerated.

Test: Brainwash SCP-682 by tricking him into believing that everyone around him is a copy of his friend SCP-053.

Result: Upon attempted hypnosis, it appeared to work for a single moment, before he recognized that the others were false. This implies there is some sort of bond between 682 and 053 that we, frankly, do not wish to think about.

Test: Send 682 into the world of Johnny Test.

Result: SCP-682 kills everybody there, before [REDACTED]. SCP-682 was then found back in it's cell. Somehow.

Test:Lock SCP-682 into a mysterious blue box that materialised in its cell.

Result: ERrrROooR CATASTTttTROPHiiIIC SPACE/TIiiTImTiME EVENT DETECTED...

   I AM EVERYTHING! I AM TIME! I AM PAIN! I WILL KILL YOU ALL!   

...INITIATING RESET AUTO-EXECUTE.

Test: Dump SCP-682 into an immersion tank full of red matter and ignite it.

Result:Though the test was successful, the red matter quickly broke its bonds, and the timeline had to be reset in order to save the world.

Test: In an unprecedented move, the Foundation attempts an alliance with the Hellsing Organisation. SCP-682 is introduced to Alucard.

edited 19th Sep '16 9:11:28 PM by secretlyasuperhero

Result:

Well we got One curbstomped reptile,one broken universe, a vampire becoming an eldritch horror,and finally a very needed reset button. I call that a success.

Test: Send in the man of steel.

edited 20th Sep '16 4:18:02 PM by vjoi

Result: Everything was going fine until Darkseid showed up. On one hand, SCP-682 is dead. On the other hand, we got humanity's only defence killed. Reset button needed.

Test: Professor Stein is hired at the Foundation and attempts dissection.

edited 20th Sep '16 4:26:26 PM by secretlyasuperhero

Bump

RESULT: Failure. Dr. Stein actually managed to best 682 in battle, slicing it open with his scythe and revealing it's soul, which his weapon proceeded to devour. Unfortunately, 682 proved it didn't need a soul, and it's soulless husk regenerated and ate both Stein and weapon while their backs were turned.

NOTE: Useful data was actually gained from this test, in regards to 682's lack of soul and hence, likely immunity to spirit based attacks. Reset button use DENIED... Sorry - Dr. Black

TEST: Design three Death Star world-slayer laser cannons and suspend them in orbit. Point all 3 lasers at the same (Orbital, not terrestrial) location. Transport 682 to the abovesaid location. Begin firing 1 laser, then a second, then all three at once. Fluctuate firing so when 682 adapts to one laser, the other 2 hurt it. Proceed until 682 is reduced to tiny particles. Collect particles in small, airtight, unbreakable (And when i say unbreakable, I mean it) boxes. Fill boxes with acid shown to have previously worked on 682. Lock boxes in Phantom zone or equivalent mult-dimensional prisons. Transport all entrances/exits from zone into black hole. Celebrate.

RESULT: FAILURE!:

TEST KILL IT WITH FIRE!

edited 27th Sep '16 4:04:30 PM by vjoi

Result: Failure. SCP-682 suffered third degree burns to 85% of its body before it began to exude a flame retardant substance. Test was aborted.

Test: Have Death Himself come down and kill that damn lizard!

edited 27th Sep '16 5:11:37 PM by Avenuewriter

Result: [file corrupted]

I do not have to do as you wish, and I will not. -████ ——

Investigating possible security breach. -O5-2

Test: Throw SCP-682 into another, empty dimension, leave a droid equipped with a heavily SCP-184 enhanced gun containing SCP-248 enhanced growth hormone liquids replicated by SCP-038. Leave said dimension, seal the Einstein-Rosen bridge used to access it with SCP-███ and assault SCP-682 with a brutal assault with the hormones, until SCP-682 grows so large that it ceases to be physical and becomes a black hole.

edited 14th Nov '16 6:30:25 PM by PastryPerson

Result: Well, it worked fine until the point where he was supposed to collapse into a black hole. He's still growing, and there's no way to stop him.

Several years later, 682 began to shatter the borders of said pocket dimension, and is still growing. His new form is, to be blunt, impossible for us to harm. Reset button pressed.

Test: Pit 682 against the Jedi Order.

Note 682 seems highly resistant to light sabers, further investigation required to proceed testing.

Test Investigating 682 potential as a lethal security measure and/or guard animal against unauthorized entrance in the sector (redacted).

"and/or render SCP-682 inert", the way 682 reacted to SCP-053 opens the possibility to make a security team similar to the relationship between Big daddies and little sisters.

edited 5th Oct '16 4:51:04 PM by Zeanobia

Result: We're trying to KILL the thing.

Test: Play every Loud Nigra video ever turned Up To Eleven.

Result: SCP-682 just takes a pair of magic ear plugs that he hid in his room, and takes a nap.

Test: Make SCP-682 become addicted to every type of drug known to man.

Result: SCP- 682 simply develops immunity to the effects of the drugs after repeated dosage. Test: Put SCP- 682 on Venus using some sort of teleportation (maybe ask SCP- 343 for help?). It won't kill him, but because the entire planet has conditions like his containment chamber, he will be trapped for all eternity.

343 can't perceive 682, but hey, tons of other ways to teleport stuff.

Result: Initial results appear to be promising.

Addendum: Result: Catastrophic failure. It is theorized that while attacking SCP-1694 at close proximity, SCP-682's regeneration and 1694's reassembling properties caused SCP-682's lost body mass both regenerated and was reassembled as a part of 1694, resulting in a biomechatronic organism. This resulting organism inherited SCP-1694's complete immunity to Venus's harsh conditions, and was thus able to gather enough strength to leave.

Addendum-02: SCP-682 has reached Earth. It has been confirmed that the entity (hereby referred to as SCP-1694-682) has complete access to 1694's nanotechnology. It has used this to systematically slaughter all forms of life it has come across, and assimilate advanced technology into itself. SCP-1694-682, at this time, is extremely big (exact measurements are unknown, but some personnel have confirmed being able to spot it from orbit. SCP-2000 usage is pending.

Addendum-03: Directly after the writing of Addendum-02, SCP-1694-682 has reached the Large Hadron Collider, and is assumed to have assimilated it. XK scenario predicted. Before the activation of SCP-2000, SCP-682 has successfully reached it (but does not seem to have recognized it's purpose at this time).

Addendum-03: SCP-914 has been upgraded with SCP-184, and we have used SCP-579 and SCP-2003 as input. While the process has resulted in the loss of 78.9% of the continent of North America, and SCP-914, although the resulting apparatus has been used successfully to reverse the severe amount of damage dealt to the Earth and used as a substitute for SCP-2000. However, it has been projected that having used the (now nonexistent) apparatus will ultimately result in the generation of [DATA EXPUNGED].

God damn it I LOVE THIS THREAD

Test: Freeze it forever.

edited 14th Nov '16 6:32:47 PM by PastryPerson