That's much better, thanks.
You can't even write racist abuse in excrement on somebody's car without the politically correct brigade jumping down your throat!
Owwww.
"You fail to grasp the basic principles of mad science. Common sense would be cheating." - Narbonic
frozen in time
I'm kind of amazed that some people seem offended by the Canon Rape in My Immortal. It happens just about every other word, and it never stops, so why not just stop caring about that and enjoy the delicious badness of it all?
no one will notice that I changed this
I'm Only Sleeping
Ah, but it's what
Everyone looks forward to
"Wait, it's IV. Of course they are. They'd make IV for Dreamcast." - Enlong, on yet another FFIV remake
I can't wait for the day I get to call someone a mediocre dunce.
The man was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor and the Nobel Peace Prize. He was the best at both killing and not killing - Stranger
I do that all the time.
Chapter 6
Author's Note: "AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!"
I can only assume that this means she didn't actually get any good reviews. My faith in humanity trickles back.
The next day, Ebony wakes up in the coffin she shouldn't technically have. She: "put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple." Ignoring her completely inappropriate wardrobe, who the hell spray-paints their hair?! And where the hell did a WIZARD GIRL get SPRAY PAI- oh just forget it.
In the Great Hall, she has a bowl of Count Chocula with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood (and then the students all freak out that she's eating and drinking human blood, and proceed to Burn The Mary Sue). Then, someone bumps into her and spills her human blood onto her top. I can only imagine where all this blood came from. Is the school providing it? I hope not.
She shouts at the person who spilled her human blood onto her hilariously inapproriate wardrobe. She then regrets saying it because: "when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn’t have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco’s and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I’m a girl so I didn’t get one you sicko."
First: Who's Joel Madden? Second: LOLOLOLOL Mind Rape LOLOLOLOL
The boy says "sorry" in a shy voice. Ebony forgives him, and asks his name. He says his name's Harry Potter, but most people call him Vampire, because he loves the taste of human blood. Ebony tells him that she's a vampire. He whimpers (she actually uses that) "Really?" She roars (ditto) "Yeah." They sit down to talk for a while, about how to probably drain living humans of their blood in order to look goffik. Draco walks up and tells Ebony he has a surprise for her, and she walks away, completely forgetting about Vampire's very existence in the process.
You can't even write racist abuse in excrement on somebody's car without the politically correct brigade jumping down your throat!
I'm Only Sleeping
what is this i dont even
what is this i dont even
Yes, even I find it horrifying
"Wait, it's IV. Of course they are. They'd make IV for Dreamcast." - Enlong, on yet another FFIV remake
Count Chocula? XD
He didn’t have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco’s and there was no scar on his forhead anymore.This is before she asks him his name? *checks* Huh, so it is.
He whimpers (she actually uses that) "Really?" She roars (ditto) "Yeah.""Really?" I shouted ponderingly.
"Yes," Jessica said passionately.
"Oh," I said with words.
I'm Only Sleeping
Your avatar is very apropos of the situation.
"Wait, it's IV. Of course they are. They'd make IV for Dreamcast." - Enlong, on yet another FFIV remake
frozen in time
Joel Madden is from the band Good Charlotte, I think.
I must confess I laughed at the "Count Chocula with blood instead of milk" bit.
no one will notice that I changed this
Ow ow ow
"You fail to grasp the basic principles of mad science. Common sense would be cheating." - Narbonic
(weaving)
Imipolex G: The Other Wiki agrees with you.
SHIKI is dead.
Update inbound.
You can't even write racist abuse in excrement on somebody's car without the politically correct brigade jumping down your throat!
-waits-
"You fail to grasp the basic principles of mad science. Common sense would be cheating." - Narbonic
Chapter 7: Bring me 2 life
Yes, this chapter has a name. Is this gonna be a regular thing?
AN: "wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Evony isn’t a Marie Sue ok she isn’t perfect SHES A SATANITS! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake!"
Someone wrote a good review of this.... erguh. I've got no idea what a "Satanits" is. Presumanly it's a misspelling of Satanist, but why I am applying logic to this? Here we go
Draco's holding Ebony's hand as they go upstairs. She's: "wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). YES IT DOES, TARA. YES IT DOES. She waves to Vampire, who has Dark Misery in his depressed eyes (Dark Misery? Where?! That jerk owes me MONEY!). She says it's because he's jealous, but it's really caused by Black Hole Sue Gravity Waves. She excitedly goes upstairs with Draco into his room. Then.......
They start frenching passively. There are 14 definitions of passive, but none of them fit here. He feels her up before taking off her top. Then she took off her black leather bra and he took of h's pants. They start making out naked on the bed, which means that Ebony wasn't wearing a skirt, shoes, leggings, or panties., and Draco wasn't wearing a shirt, socks, shoes, and never mind that they both should be wearing ropes right now. Then he puts her boy's thingie into hers (boys thingie? Ebony's a hermaphodite, and has a penis into which things can be inserted?) and had sex (There's a note in parentheses asking if this is stupid. Answer that one yourselves.)
Ebony's calling Draco's name while getting an orgasm. But then, she sees a tattoo she never saw before. It's a black heart with an arrow through that says "Vampire" on it- oh, Lord. Ebony is furious at this "development". Draco pulls the classic "You don't understand!" line, but Ebony says "No, you fucking idiot!" What exactly does that have to do with anything. She "huffily" puts on her clothes and stomps out. Draco runs out, with Ebony admiring his huge you-know-what, but being to made to care. She stomps until she reaches Vampire's classroom and screams" VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!"
edited 23rd Oct '09 7:09:13 PM by Wicked223
You can't even write racist abuse in excrement on somebody's car without the politically correct brigade jumping down your throat!
frozen in time
Nobel Prize material, to be sure.
no one will notice that I changed this
Then he puts her boy's thingie into hers (boys thingie? Ebony's a hermaphodite, and has a penis into which things can be inserted?)- brain breaks*
edited 23rd Oct '09 7:21:27 PM by Wild Knight
The blind man walking off the cliff is not making a leap of faith.
resident moonatic
Ugh the Ikea Erotica...
And I'd love to walk into a classroom and scream "VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I'd love to see a teacher's reaction.
edited 23rd Oct '09 7:22:09 PM by OuttaTheBLAM
You're looking for this person.
^ Halloween's coming up, that would be the perfect opportunity.
aka Venhax
That last line cracked me up.
"You fail to grasp the basic principles of mad science. Common sense would be cheating." - Narbonic
Manliest Person on Skype
How can this be anything other than a Troll Fic?
Stuff what I do.
frozen in time
Today I caught one of my coworkers making out with his girlfriend whilst on the clock. I had to resist the urge to shout, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"
no one will notice that I changed this
Platypus!
Sweet Cthulhu in his moist sub-sea prison. This liveblogging brings back such painful memories from me reading the whole thing to my friends last year. I thought I was over it, but trust me, after you've read My Immortal, it never leaves you. On behalf of all bile afficionados, I salute you and hope you have a lot of Brain Bleach available.
Liveblog | Deadblog
I hope she had a better excuse for writing this crap.
You're looking for this person.