How to write a gay/bisexual character

Best way to do it really.

Make it something completely dull and normal.

Oh really when?

Maxwell has the right idea.

Honestly, the biggest thing that bothers me about 75% of gay folks I know in person (and anything with a gay character) is how big a deal they make of it. Statistically there's got to be at least one person for whom there's not that much drama.

Feminist in the streets, sex slave in the sheets

Just want to chime in to say that I've written several homosexual characters who aren't all that different from 'straight' people. To me, sexual orientation is just what gets a person going. It's in no way something that dictates his/her personality. Still, I think if you are to write a shamelessly stereotypical gay man/lesbian character, I still think it's not all that unrealistic. I mean, a lot gay men act as if they come from some cheap rom-com, no offense of course. I have many gay friends myself, and nearly half of them are like that.

On the foundation of glass a dream is built. And, like glass, it shatters.

I figured that was the right way to do it.

Of course, don't you know anything about ALCHEMY?!- Twin clones of Ivan the Great

I'd say the most important thing is to decide on sexual orientation n the beginning. For some reason some tv shows like taking a straight female character and turning her into a lesbian.

...I would point out that gay-/bi-ness is entirely normal and could easily not be remarked on unless it's important to the story in many instances, so no, don't select at the beginning unless it's really important to the character.

Nous restons ici.

I believe what lexicon was intending is "If you're going to do it, do it from the beginning, don't just decide to add it later in the story." rather than "Make a big deal of it at the beginning."

edited 20th Mar '14 11:52:58 AM by Madrugada

...if you don’t love you’re dead, and if you do, they’ll kill you for it.

Yes, that's what I meant. You don't have to make it clear in the beginning that the character isn't straight as long as you don't say that she really likes boys and then say now she only likes girls. I don't understand doing the 'surprise lesbians' at all.

And I understood it that way.

In fact, I responded to it that way.

Lexicon's comment comes from a place that assumes a heterosexual default more than anything else, and while I'm slightly sympathetic to that view from a statistical standpoint, I'm also not at all sympathetic to it from the standpoint of the heteronormative reality of social interaction. Lots of people assume they like boys (or girls) until one day they meet the girl (or boy) who convinces them they don't. Or convinces them they're bi. Lots of people simply pass through life appearing straight right up until they don't because they are assumed to be, since they're just like everyone else.

I stand by the original statement.

edited 20th Mar '14 2:32:54 PM by Night

Nous restons ici.

"[T]he standpoint of the heteronormative reality of social interaction" is not the most important aspect of telling a story. The most important aspect of telling a story is to tell the story in the most effective way possible. If you want to preach about the heteronormative reality of social interaction, go ahead, but don't demand that anyone else has to, and don't be surprised if you don't get a lot of readers.

...if you don’t love you’re dead, and if you do, they’ll kill you for it.

I don't think that it's always important to decide on a character's sexuality from the beginning, only when it becomes relevant: if, for example, the character spends the first half of the story escaping a deep, dark dungeon while keeping sane by fantasising about hot food and clean bathwater then her sexuality doesn't really come into play. Once she escapes into the world above (and has sorted out any more pressing concerns—pursuit, perhaps said food and bath, etc.) and starts to interact with others it may start to become relevant.

I will confess that a character's sexuality might affect other interactions, such as how they talk with members of their preferred sex (if any), but such interactions can in some cases be allowed to simply arise naturally, I feel.

Of course, the above is somewhat tailored to my own approach to writing, and so may not apply to all.

My Games & Writing

But what if I legitimately don't know the character's sexual orientation at first?

I have a lot of characters that I haven't sat down and pinned that down for. It's kind of a thing that I have to figure out as I use the character. Some characters that I've written and assumed were straight at first have ended up being bi. Hell, I still don't know for sure what my main character's sexual orientation is. She hasn't sat down and thought about it. I could make arguments for her being straight, pan, ace, or demi.

I can't figure out all of my characters' orientations the second I start using them anymore than I can figure out their quirks and their backstories and their families and junk. I figure that shit out as I go along.

edited 20th Mar '14 7:28:02 PM by hermiethefrog

When you figure something out about your story, or the order in which you write/edit/whatever/etc things, is a lot less important in a novel than a serial thing like a television series. You have the chance to go back and re-examine a previously-assumed-heterosexual woman's interactions with everything after you determine that she's a lesbian, or whatever, so if a previous scene indicates heterosexuality, you can change it as fits your new knowledge. As long as you can and do edit competently, it shouldn't be a problem.

You will not go to space today.

@ Night, would it be okay if a character is claiming to change sexual orientation? If she says, "I cant't be interested in him again because I'm gay now!" I've seen a girl turn a girl gay but never a guy turn a guy gay. Discovering one's sexuality for one's self should be good for both genders but I thought one did not become gay.

Sexuality changes through out a persons life; The 'Born this way' phrase isn't entirely accurate. Sexuality is a personality trait and, as such, it can change during a lifetime. I was straight two years ago. Now I'm pan.

I'm a critical person but I'm a nice guy when you get to know me. Now, I should be writing.

Sexuality <> Sexual orientation. Sexuality is indeed mutable, but sexual orientation isn't. If someone is straight as nails, nothing in the world will turn that person gay and viceversa, however the way they identify themselves by it and let that orientation color their personality of course it changes. Nobody can be straight then turn bi, that person was already bi, just had to find it out.

Having said that I still think it's curious how I have a character that is essentially a gay character despite being very much straight, on the heteronormative way even (and it is hilarious to a certain extempt). And also have some characters who just happen to be gay, or bi, and their stories follow the same kind of patterns of my straight characters. Yes, basically I don't make it such a big deal on my stories, it is just something that is normally there, exactly the same reason I always strive for a 51/49 gender ratio on the cast, because the world just works that way.

Forgive me for not being a walking stereotype. Saint Ryouga

I feel I should point out that downplaying sexuality isn't always possible. One of my characters is a gay man born in America in 1953. Suffice it to say, his sexuality — or technically, society's view of it — had a significant effect on his personality.

Something that is EXTREMELY important to keep in mind is that sexual orientation does not equal personality. Sure there's the fact that a non-straight person would probably be more socially liberal than the average person (but it could depend on other factors as well and there are also Gay Conservatives in Real Life and fiction)

And as Killer Clowns said you also have to keep your setting in mind as well because it definitely influences your character's upbringing and how they interact with others. An LGBT person raised in Texas in the 1980's is going to be a bit different than one raised in modern day California or even one that is raised in a setting never had any problem with homosexuality.

• A good rule of thumb, if you're thinking "Is this LGBT character stereotypical?" try adding another LGBT character who isn't stereotypical. If you're openly showing that there's a diversity of people who aren't straight, it much more true to life (there's nothing wrong with Camp Gay characters, just PLEASE don't make your only gay character a Camp Gay)
  • Oh, and an anecdote about the sexual orientation does not equal gay thing... A while ago I was reading an information brochure from a college. The first paragraph was going into detail the variety of interests of the people who were enrolled there. It said something along the lines of "Whether you happen to be artsy, athletic, nerdy, gay or straight, You'll feel at home here..." That made me cringe a bit, but it was probably that someone just didn't think that through rather than being particularly ignorant or something. But point of the story: don't do that.

I sympathise with this a great deal. People internalise the belief in a default rather than accepting the fact that nothing can be said for certain from the outset, and that's a real problem.

I have been there before. With a lot of characters I just kind of know, "Well, she's probably bisexual," or, "He's just not interested," but that's not universally true because it's quite frequently just not entirely relevant.

Or sometimes it is, but it could go either way because of certain factors. I have an antagonist who may or may not be in a romantic relationship with their closest friend, and I honestly can't say for certain what they think of themselves as, if they do at all. This person has had a lot of trauma in their life that affects and effects their views on sexuality, but what they "are" by disposition, I can't really say with complete accuracy.

So it's tough.

A person might think of themselves that way, but that's not how it works. I am speaking as a guy who thought himself straight throughout puberty only to be blind-sided with the realisation that this was an incomplete assessment halfway through high school. You don't become something so much as you recognise or deny an aspect of yourself. There are circumstances where a person can make a seeming about-face, but it's never that simple or easy, at all.

But the same thing goes for race, religion and a lot of other factors, none of which inherently define one's personality by any means.

I'll hide your name inside a word and paint your eyes with false perception.

One way to populate the world with non hetoronormativity — have shopkeepers who are in a homosexual relationship. Easy to do, easy to show, and can be done in most stories, especially in tabletops and what not.

Read my stories!

Given that this is (a) about relationships and (b) about something really controversial^note (in fact i very much doubt we have the same opinion on the matter.)I think designating a character, or some characters as "the gay one(s)" is the wrong way to go about it.

Instead, first hace an idea on the main characters for the story.

Then decide who is sexing whom.

Then, decide whether any homosexuals you have get found out, and by whom. If so, have that temporarily or permanently change how these characters interact.

After that, look back on that and examine whether you've ended up strawmanning, severely breaking character, or being otherwise anvilicious^note (unless you want an anvil, even then you'd want to avoid strawmanning and breaking character) and rectify anything glaring.

edited 16th Apr '14 11:16:52 PM by iamnotausername

Wouldn't this really depend on whether or not you are in an accepting time or place, or at least on the person discovering the fact? Furthermore, doesn't it assume that they don't already know, or that they would care?

I'm finding this phrasing kind of dubious.

I'll hide your name inside a word and paint your eyes with false perception.

I thought I posted in this thread already, but apparently not.

One of my settings has a bisexual Love Triangle. One character is bisexual, and loved by both a Lipstick Lesbian and a straight man.

It's also a comedic setting, and I assume there're things I can do with this other than "lol, the two girls can make out so the guy (and/or male readers) will get erall hot and bothed" and "lol, not all lesbians are manly".

I'd be amused to read a story about a Bisexual with an Unwanted Harem, mostly because it'd invert the usual dull stereotype for that orientation.

I would potentially find that quite amusing.

Now I'm thinking of the potential for absurdity in having the character in question dogged by two clingy exes on very different ends of the proverbial gender binary.

I'll hide your name inside a word and paint your eyes with false perception.