I am the king of the classroom.

Ok, I got this one. I just have to create a diversion...

(stands on lunch table)

DEARLY BELOVED, WE GATHER HERE TO SAY OUR GOODBYES!
HERE SHE LIES, NO ONE KNEW HER WORTH
THE LATE, GREAT DAUGHTER OF MOTHER EARTH!
ON THIS NIGHT WHEN WE CELEBRATE THE BIRTH
IN THAT LITTLE TOWN OF BETHLEHEM, WE RAISE OUR GLASS
YOU BET YOUR—Wait...

(steps down) I'm not allowed to say the "a-word" in school, am I?

edited 10th Nov '10 8:04:03 PM by CentralAvenue

-whispers- Not in front of the teachers, but you can say cash, so just substitute it for now.

edited 10th Nov '10 8:01:49 PM by Tre

Yes, it's middle school. We swear all the fucking time!

Fuck!

Hey, no need, no need. If you're gonna be pottymouthed then feel free to, but we're trying to get out of here, if you didn't mind.

Well, that didn't work anyway. Now everyone's staring at me.

You'd think they've never seen an 8-year-old girl give an unsolicited public performance of "La Vie Boheme" in a middle school cafeteria before.

edited 10th Nov '10 8:03:42 PM by CentralAvenue

Well, there's always Plan B.

FOOD FIGHT!

-slams tray of mystery meat and peas at some random person, then guns it-

Ah! My dress! That's going to STAIN!

(ducks out door amidst confusion)

So...now what?

Well, why don't we (and whoever might or might not be following us) figure out, shall we?

-goes down hall and opens side door-

edited 10th Nov '10 8:13:19 PM by Tre

Well, are you coming, or what?

edited 10th Nov '10 8:13:38 PM by Tre

Does this park have a playground? I wanna swing!

And where'd that AU guy get to?

Yep, right there.

-points to a huge playground-

I call the big swing.

Not if I get there first! (shoves)

-vaults over fence, runs to the swing to the right of the big one-

Eh, never mind, have it, I don't care. The little one fits me better anyway.

-uses a plasma torch to annihilate the playground and swingset-

Never said anything about us, did you?

-sits on seesaw, takes off backpack and drops it on top of of other side, launching me into the air straight towards Legionnaire-

Well, Eff, Why, Eye,

-FALCON PAWNCH TO THE FACE!-

THAT WAS A BIG MISTAKE.

edited 10th Nov '10 9:07:48 PM by Tre

-picks up a flaming piece of debris and spins it around-

Get back! I'm already violating physics, don't make me violet you!

-smashes Tre in the face and sets him/her[1] on fire-

[1] My apologies for not knowing your gender.

I'm a guy.

-knocked into fence-

-rolls out flames-

This... -dusts- is why... -dusts- I hate Perdedor Middle. No wonder they named it after the Spanish word for "loser", with the likes of you here!

Now, do you really want to do this?

-pulls out Sal, whom, I forgot to mention, is really long too-

Really?

edited 10th Nov '10 9:18:58 PM by Tre

-raises pole into guarding position, not to be taken unawares. Said guarding position involves flailing madly in all directions setting things on fire-

Time out for a second! What's a Sal?

It's Tre's sword from Stuck. Plastic and bought at a Dollar Tree, but then again, one urban legend in the book says that Bart Greyson sliced a brick wall in two using a sword just like her.

(Disclaimer: Anything weird I bring up is probably related to that. Sorry.)

-looks toward school, sees a red glass box-

Great, you've done it now, pyro.

-runs toward the box-

edited 10th Nov '10 9:26:09 PM by Tre

Oh no you don't!

-picks up the burning chains from the swings and hurls them at Tre, catching him around the legs and knocking him down-

-runs after Tre-

-drops Sal, but she lands right in front of me as I fall-

-picks up Sal, slices chain off-

-gets to the box-

Ha! So much for that plan!

-stabs glass, but accidentally punctures the extinguisher too. It sputters out over me, but not anywhere else. I turn to him/her, then grin sheepishly.-

Oh, shift.

edited 10th Nov '10 9:34:31 PM by Tre

I am also a man.

-clubs Tre in the face, setting him on fire-

YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE FRAKKED WITH ME!

-breaks rest of glass, throws broken extinguisher over self and the club-

Frak is my word.

-stabs him, then cuts door in wall with Sal and leaves through it-

subtitle/scene change: MATH CLASS.

edited 10th Nov '10 9:41:49 PM by Tre

-Is sleeping during lunch-

-Wakes up-

Wha, what?

-Tastes some of my mystery meat-

Hm... Tastes like cherries...

*Throws desk out of window*

I'M TIRED OF DIS SHIT!! *Runs off*