TV Tropes Org


Live Bloginations, an archived forum.:
Rome: Total War Liveblog
search forum titles
google site search
Total posts: [73]
 2 3

Rome: Total War Liveblog:

 1 Iniquitus, Wed, 2nd Jun '10 12:27:31 AM from Where you aren't
The Last Of The NZ Men
Ahoy there Forum!

This is my humble attempt at a Rome: Total War Liveblog. This was inspired partly by "I am Skantarios" and mostly by our very own Game Chainsaw and his frankly hilarious Medieval XL liveblog.

In other words, this will be the most concentrated plagiarism in the history of TV Tropes.

I will be playing the Long Brutii Family campaign on Medium difficulty, from the R:TW Gold edition set, with no mods.

This was going to be a Medieval 2 liveblog, but as mentioned my computer drive disintegrated, so I'm stuck with Rome on the backup computer.

Updates will be few and far between at best, but I'll do my best to get you as many as possible.

Roma Victor!

Note: The introduction will be up in two days' time at the most, I promise.

edited 2nd Jun '10 12:27:55 AM by Iniquitus

 2 Game Chainsaw, Wed, 2nd Jun '10 3:51:03 AM from sunshine and rainbows!
The Shadows Devour You.
Awesome. This should be good. I tend not to play the Brutii so it'll be interesting to see how this goes.
Evil One
We'll see how it goes, yes?
 4 Kinkajou, Wed, 2nd Jun '10 5:09:08 AM from you're not your
Brutii. Good luck against the Greeks and Macedon.
"Tumblr. Showing us why it's bad to enjoy things since 2007." - joeyjojo
 5 Game Chainsaw, Wed, 2nd Jun '10 5:50:08 AM from sunshine and rainbows!
The Shadows Devour You.
They seem to be the hardest of the Roman factions. The Julii get a pretty easy time fighting the weak Gaulish units, while the Scipii get some really wealthy lands.

That said, the advantage the Brutii get is that once they take the twelve-odd cities on the Greek mainland, they're practically unstoppable.
 6 Kinkajou, Wed, 2nd Jun '10 6:37:33 AM from you're not your
Aye, the Greek cities also make you roll in denarii quite quickly.
"Tumblr. Showing us why it's bad to enjoy things since 2007." - joeyjojo
 7 Iniquitus, Thu, 3rd Jun '10 1:58:04 AM from Where you aren't
The Last Of The NZ Men
<Looks at conversation>


People care about this stuff???

</self-depreciating humor>

Character List:

Faction Leader: Tiberius Brutus
  • Age: 52
  • Command: 4
  • Management: 1 (This man sould not be trusted a shrimp stall, much less anything important)
  • Influence: 5

Currently governing Croton (large town/Capital)

Garrison: (Note: All have 1 bronze exp.)
  • 23 Bodyguards
  • 40 Hastati
  • 40 Velites

"Our plans have failed us thios day. We must instigate... plan B"

"Sire! You don't mean..."

"Yes. Destroy all shrimp stalls within an 8.125 mile radius."

"...Wait, what?"


Faction Heir: Aulus Brutus
  • Age: 34
  • Command: 1 (Command ability is, at best, a yawning gap in this man's personality)
  • Management: 2
  • Influence: 5

Currently in north-western part of Apulia region (reg. capital: Croton)/ Army commander

  • 20 Bodyguards (1 bronze experience)
  • 40 Hastati (1 bronze experience)
  • 40 Velites (no experience)

"And our enemy having more people than us is a problem how exactly?"

Family Member: Amulius Brutus
  • Age: 31
  • Command: 5
  • Management: 2 (Administration is not this man's forte. He can manage simple matters, but without skill)
  • Influence: 3

Currently in eastern part of Apulia region (reg. capital: Croton)/ Army commander

  • 13 Bodyguards (1 bronze experience)
  • 27 Equites (1 bronze experience)
  • 40 Hastati (no experience)
  • 40 Hastati (no experience)
  • 40 Velites (no experience)

<sees the paperwork for the army> "SO MANY PAGESSSSS!"

Family Member: Vibius Brutus
  • Age: 30
  • Command: 3
  • Manangement: 6(!) (More often than not, this man solves administrative problems, but some crises leave him floundering)
  • Influence: 3

Currently governing Tarentum (large town)

  • 13 Bodyguards (1 bronze experience)
  • 40 Hastati (no experience)
  • 40 Velites (no experience)

"Just as Planned."

A/N: If anyone wants clarification on the situation in the cities or a description of what the units basically are (hey, I'm going for the Periphery Demographic here), just post it and I'll work it into my next post.

Also, MY FRICKING FINGERS JUST DROPPED OFF! How do you manage typing so much, Game Chainsaw?

Edit: Changed the quotes and stats a bit. I can't do funny. So sue me.

edited 15th Nov '10 2:05:14 PM by Iniquitus

 8 Kinkajou, Thu, 3rd Jun '10 3:10:42 AM from you're not your
I'd suggest merging your two field armies and heading east.
"Tumblr. Showing us why it's bad to enjoy things since 2007." - joeyjojo
I've never thought about the start as brutii as particularly hard. Neither the greeks or the macedonians really made any armies big enough to be a challenge in my games. And what they do make is mostly levies/militia.

Edit: just send everything to east, as Kinkajou suggested, and attack epirus. Also replace the garrisons (except the governors of course) with City Watch (or whatever they're called, the cheapest infantry) and send the current ones to join your field army

edited 3rd Jun '10 3:47:07 AM by Kzickas

 10 Kinkajou, Thu, 3rd Jun '10 3:53:36 AM from you're not your
The problem with the Greeks and Macedon are their powerful infantry and rich settlements.
"Tumblr. Showing us why it's bad to enjoy things since 2007." - joeyjojo
never had any problems with them. Biggest challenge in my brutii games have been the britons, coming into north italy in force around the civil war
 12 Game Chainsaw, Thu, 3rd Jun '10 6:30:18 AM from sunshine and rainbows!
The Shadows Devour You.
The Britons reached Northern Italy in your games? surprised

Yeah, the paperwork's a nightmare. Just be glad you don't have to remember all the different unit captains, provincial lords and nomenclature for the units.

Looking good so far. At least the stats are a lot more self-explanatory in Rome. It might be a good idea to write down the little snippets that the game says when you hover over the stats (This man shouldn't be entrusted with running a shrimp-stall, let alone anything important, and the like.) Also, mention the traits each character has, what they say, and what they add. Especially since they're frequently open joke fodder.

Strategically... I actually Take a Third Option and go for Sparta in the south. Once you take it you've got access to a minor city from the word go, access to principes, and only one land front to worry about. Just maintain a strong navy and grind your way up the Greek mainland and the Macedonians and Greeks should interfere with one another enough to ensure you win the conflict easily. Taking Apollonia first means you instantly have both the Macedonians to the east and the Greeks to the south to worry about.

edited 3rd Jun '10 6:30:33 AM by GameChainsaw

 13 Kinkajou, Thu, 3rd Jun '10 6:32:23 AM from you're not your
Sparta also occupies a strategic position.
"Tumblr. Showing us why it's bad to enjoy things since 2007." - joeyjojo
Why would you ever need to worry about both at the same time? macedon has never attacked me before I had driven the greeks from greece and I always go Appolonia-Thermon-Sparta. Then you can launch a double suprise attack into macedonian greece and macedonia proper. They shouldn't have time to react

Edit: Oh yeah the britons tend to grow BIG in my games. In one they actually took one of the Julii starting provinces giving them a border with Rome itself. Before that they had steamrollered gaul and germany and had a frontier somewhere in Russia. I had Greece, Macedon, Anatolia, the Levant and Egypt and they still had more provinces.

edited 3rd Jun '10 10:22:27 AM by Kzickas

 15 Game Chainsaw, Thu, 3rd Jun '10 10:49:10 AM from sunshine and rainbows!
The Shadows Devour You.
Problem is I always find Macedon attacks Appolonia while I'm away down south finishing off the Greeks on their mainland.

EDIT: Thing with me is, I really hate multiple fronts. Or even potential multiple fronts. And funnily enough its the Greeks who tend to steamroller everyone with me if I don't get my boot in their faces quickly.

edited 3rd Jun '10 10:51:18 AM by GameChainsaw

This thread has caused me to reinstall Rome, I'm going to start a game, document the campaigns against the greeks and macedonians and post a link here, if you'll allow it

Edit: I love multiple fronts, I usually try to attack on as many fronts as I can when I attack an enemy. I once invaded Pontus which controll all of, but only, asia minor on 6 fronts. That was a very short war

Edit 2: I just won a battle against a macedonian army 700-38 lost. Then my game crashed, when I did it again I only got 650-120 :( Still it was the cavalry that was responsible for most of those casualties (mine that is, my infantry was killy enough) during the second battle the enemy's reinforcemnet was faster and it included more cavalry which was able to run down my velites while mine was busy killing the enemy general

edited 3rd Jun '10 2:22:27 PM by Kzickas

 17 nightwyrm zero, Sat, 5th Jun '10 11:34:02 PM Relationship Status: Complex: I'm real, she is imaginary
I've just tried installing RTW on my newly bought laptop but it just doesn't run. Keeps booting me back to my desktop while RTW runs in the background. Is there a known compatibility issue with 64 bit Win 7?

edited 5th Jun '10 11:34:11 PM by nightwyrm_zero

Blue Brain Cell
It liiiiives!


I am so sorry about this, forum. A virus hit me and the full system scan erased my handle and know-age, and I got lazy...

Anyway, my feelings of inadequacy have hit an all-time high, what with Game Chainsaw updating his livelog and re-reading I Am Skantarios. And, as everyone knows, the best cure for inadequacy is displaying yourself on the internet! I think.

So, without further ado, enjoy Turn One of The Brutii Family's Rise to Power (And Hookers)!

Turn One - Summer 270 BC

Mission from Senate: "Conquer Apollonia. If you do this, the Senate will reward your services with 5000 denarii!"

Tiberius: "Why are they giving us money to do what we were planning to do anyway?"

(((NOTE: I played up until the end of winter 270 BC before I went back to check on this thread fully, sorry about that. Besides, 5000 denarii!)))

Aulus Brutus builds a watchtower.

"Sir, why did you have us build a watchtower here? The only people this helps us fight are the other Roman factions..."

"...No reason."

Amulius Brutus orders his army onto the fleet, along with my spy and diplomat. Aulus attempts to do the same but only has enough movement to move onto the port tile (LOL I FAIL AT MOVEMENT).

Aulus: "Brother! I am spent! You must go on without me!"

Amulius: "...It's only another three steps up the gangplank."

Aulus: "Oh well, it seems like you'll have to conquer the world without me. Toodles!"

Amulius: "...I hate you."

Practice Range construction begun in Tarentum.

"Ready... Aim... Construct!"

Shrine to Mercury construction begun in Croton.


Now that I have that awful joke out of my system..

  • Equites ordered in Croton
  • Town Watch ordered in Tarentum

End Turn

edited 10th Jul '10 7:01:57 PM by IniquitusV2

 19 Game Chainsaw, Mon, 21st Jun '10 4:22:34 AM from sunshine and rainbows!
The Shadows Devour You.

Especially the hookers!

edited 21st Jun '10 4:22:55 AM by GameChainsaw

 20 Kinkajou, Mon, 21st Jun '10 4:56:27 AM from you're not your
Looking forward to it.
"Tumblr. Showing us why it's bad to enjoy things since 2007." - joeyjojo
Blue Brain Cell
Turn 2 - Winter 270 BC

Shrine to Mercury constructed in Croton.

"All hail Mercury, the god of Screwing The Other Guy Over In A Trade!"

Port construction begun in Croton.

Town Watch recruited in Croton.

Equites recruited in Tarentum.

Town Watch ordered in both settlements.

Aulus moves his lazy ass onto the fleet after a solid six months of orgies and partying. The fleet spends approximately three milliseconds on water before disgorging the hungover Aulus and his severely pissed-off brother on the shores of Apollonia.

(Vomit Discretion Shot)

Amulius: "Are you seasick or hungover?"

Aulus: "...Both."

Roman Spy moves south along the coast towards Thermon.

Roman Diplomat moves east through the mountains into central Greece.

Roman army led by Amulius Brutus assaults Apollonia!

edited 10th Jul '10 7:56:12 PM by IniquitusV2

Blue Brain Cell
((Authors' note: I lost the notes I made for this battle, so please excuse the lack of detail.))

Battle for Apollonia - Romans (Brutii) v.s. Rebels

Settlement level: Town (no walls)

Direct assault!

Roman forces:
  • Amulius Brutus: 14 Bodyguards (1 bronze experience) (Commanding Officer)
  • Aulus Brutus: 21 Bodyguards (1 bronze experience)
  • 27 Equites (1 bronze experience)
  • 40 Hastati (1 bronze experience)
  • 40 Hastati (no experience)
  • 40 Hastati (no experience)
  • 40 Velites (no experience)
  • 40 Velites (no experience)

Rebel Forces: (All no experience)
  • 41 Peltasts
  • 40 Peltasts
  • 40 Militia Hoplites


Hastati are deployed in the front & grouped. Cavalry are deployed slightly off to the right flank. Velites deployed as a screen just before the Hastati.

Battle Start!

Militia Hoplites are in a small cul-de-sac just off to the right of the main village road. Peltasts clustered around city centre.

For some reason, the hoplites make it back to the city centre just before they get caught by my cavalry. The captain's peltasts move up to engage my out of position cavalry.

Amulius: "Why did they do that? Didn't that captain attend the How Not To Die lesson in strategy school?"

Aulus: "Hey, maybe we should try that tactic!"

Amulius: "...I'm surrounded by idiots."

Bodyguard: "As well as by suicidal Peltasts?"

The cavalry charge and make steamed catfish out of the Peltasts. The captain of the rebels cops it as well, sending the Peltasts fleeing back to the town square.

Aulus: "After them!"

Amulius: "No!"

Aulus: "Why the Pluto not?"

Amulius: "Do you want to get spiked to death by the hoplites?"

The hoplites, seeing the dawdling cavalry, collectively grow a pair and march back forwards in phalanx formation, intending to hedgehog tackleglomp the cavalry.

The cavalry fall back through the ranks of the Hastati and Velites, who have successfully run to the action.

Hastati Sergeant: "(gasp) We (cough-wheeze) are (gasp) here, (gasp) sir."

Amulius: "Good. Get them!"

Hastati Sergeant: "Awww...(cough-gasp)"

The combined firepower of three Hastati units and two Velites formations break up the Hoplites' careful formation, and they break within moments of the Hastati charge hitting home.

Aulus: "NOW can we get them?"

Amulius: <rolls eyes> "Fine."

The Romans spill into the town square and merrily butcher the remainder of the rebels with ease.

edited 10th Jul '10 8:30:13 PM by IniquitusV2

Blue Brain Cell
Battle Of Appolonia - Romans (Brutii) v.s. Rebels - Result

Clear Victory!

Roman Forces: 246/262 men remaining
  • 121 casualties inflicted

Rebel Forces: Wiped Out!
  • 12 casualties inflicted

No change to Experience Levels.

Settlement Captured: Apollonia (Town)

Senate Mission completed: Capture Apollonia - 5000 Denarii recieved!

Aulus: "Yay, we won! Here brother, have this as a token of my gratitude for your assistance!"

Amulius: "But didn't I do all the wor- wait, what is this? ...A coupon for '30% off your next foursome at Vestal Not-Virgins Courtesan House?"

Aulus: "Use it wisely, dear brother!"

Told you there'd be Hookers!

edited 10th Jul '10 7:56:45 PM by IniquitusV2

Blue Brain Cell
Turn 2 - Winter 270 BC (cont.)

Merged units at Apollonia to compensate for casualties.

Current garrison (Apollonia):
  • Amulius Brutus: 13 Bodyguards (1 bronze experience) (Governor)
  • Aulus Brutus: 20 Bodyguards (1 bronze experience)
  • 22 Equites (1 bronze experience)
  • 40 Hastati (1 bronze experience)
  • 40 Hastati (no experience)
  • 31 Hastati (no experience)
  • 40 Velites (no experience)
  • 40 Velites (no experience)

Tax Rate change: Medium to Very High (Tarentum)
  • Net Income: 878 Denarii
  • Public Order: 100%

Wooden Palisade construction begun in Apollonia.

Aulus: "And make me a sandcastle while you're at it!"

End Turn


edited 1st Aug '10 12:59:01 AM by IniquitusV2

 25 Kinkajou, Sat, 10th Jul '10 9:08:51 PM from you're not your
Leave a token garrison in Apollonia and head for Salona to your north.
"Tumblr. Showing us why it's bad to enjoy things since 2007." - joeyjojo
Total posts: 73
 2 3

TV Tropes by TV Tropes Foundation, LLC is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available from
Privacy Policy