The Pokédex - Extended Fanon Edition:

Total posts: [8,338]
1 ... 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 ... 334
3826 Marioguy12810th Mar 2011 08:40:20 PM from various galaxies
When mentioning Pseudo legendaries, you forgot about the Beldum line.

It looks good. Also, I saw the Godzilla references that were put in there.tongue
You got some dirt on you. Here's some more!
3827 CalamityJane10th Mar 2011 08:40:39 PM from None of your business , Relationship Status: Robosexual
That explains it. Well, if you want I could go over it and fix the mistakes, but it's your call and if you want to try and have a go at it on your own when you are more conscious, then go ahead and see if you can fix them on your own. Good luck!
I left Beldum out, mostly due to the fact that, for a study, it is easier to work with five reptiles more or less draconic, that with five reptiles more or less draconic and a robotic... metallic... magnetic... thing. I really like the Beldum line, but it is hard to contrast with the rest of pseudos.

Jane, if you can do a quick fix, I'd appreciate it. From my knowledge, apart of some weird constructions, I would say it is mostly right, so a second opinion is the best way to improve.
3829 SullenFrog10th Mar 2011 08:56:54 PM from Voormithadreth , Relationship Status: I wanna know about these strangers like me
Wait, he isn't dead! Shia Surprise!
I would also make mention of the seeming enmity between the Deino and Axew lines, which I introduced in my article for the latter species; after all, even though they don't eat them Fraxure and Haxorus will go out of their way to kill any Deino they come across in the wild to prevent competition.
3830 TracerBullet10th Mar 2011 09:04:47 PM from A Dark and Rainy Alley
Guess Who...?
A few complaints:

  • 2/3 of your article consists of the Notable Biology section, with several of your other sections noticeably underdeveloped (e.g. the absence of hazards beyond "Deino et al will attempt to eat you" and "Hydreigon will hunt you down and brutally slaughter you if you harm her offspring")
  • A few blurbs don't seem in-character for a professional journal, such as attempting to quantify how much more dangerous Hydreigon are when they have young.
  • You should consider having at least one other member of the Deino line be fertile, or making Hydreigon more fecund than most other pseudo-legendaries. When a rival dragon is capable of breeding earlier than you are, and has a nasty tendency to pick off your younger counterparts, that could potentially spell trouble for the long-term survival of your species.
  • Parts of the article smack a little bit too much of Always Chaotic Evil, feel free to give the Dark/Dragons a little more individual variety in behavior.

That said, me likey. A lot. Especially the amount of detail you put into these guys' biology.
Hard Boiled Detective Since 1985
3831 CalamityJane10th Mar 2011 09:15:26 PM from None of your business , Relationship Status: Robosexual
...What's a Gliar System? And a hypophysis? Supraoritary isn't a word...

edited 10th Mar '11 9:17:24 PM by CalamityJane

Mmm, I guess I got a bit overly-inspired by the Alien franchise when thinking about how a eyeless predator would behave, I'll try to add more details tomorrow.

Gliar system: The correct adjective would be glial, or just call it glia: ; My mistake.

Hypophysis: The pituitary gland, the term I used is not the common name for the organ in English and I always forget that;

Supraoritary was going to be Supraorbitary; and the more accurate term would be supraorbitarial; a brow crest:

I notice I used many technical terms; over here we don't have as many common terms, or at least, I'm not used to think in those terms; sorry for the inconvenience.

3833 CalamityJane10th Mar 2011 09:40:55 PM from None of your business , Relationship Status: Robosexual
Got it.

I really think you should tone down the Notable Biology portion, since on my word document that section alone takes up two and a half pages of the entire document. The Hazards section had pretty bad grammar and Rouge Angles of Satin. I don't know how I'd send the edited document to you though; do you want it through the thread or via PM?
3834 TracerBullet10th Mar 2011 09:43:04 PM from A Dark and Rainy Alley
Guess Who...?
^x2 I was wondering where that bit about Deino killing off crew members aboard a ship was coming from...

So I take it that these guys must have a really nasty rep in popular culture (as if being called the "Brutal Pokemon" wasn't enough of a hint)...

edited 10th Mar '11 9:43:20 PM by TracerBullet

Hard Boiled Detective Since 1985
3835 CalamityJane10th Mar 2011 09:44:55 PM from None of your business , Relationship Status: Robosexual
Maybe it's a common unovan Fairy Tale of the princess that gets stolen by a Hydreigon and the prince has to go save her?
A Pheasant Experience
Wrong thread again...

edited 10th Mar '11 9:49:32 PM by TheGinkei

And "Reality" is
unveiled. What did it want...? What did it see...? What did it hear...? What did it think...? What did it do...?
3837 TracerBullet10th Mar 2011 09:54:45 PM from A Dark and Rainy Alley
Guess Who...?
^x2 I could see it happening, though I'm pretty sure that any draconic 'mon not named Dragonite or Charizard probably has more than a couple myths like that about them. One thing's for sure, "being kidnapped by a usually peaceful, but scary-looking Axeface" doesn't have quite the cachet of "being kidnapped by an evil, sadistic Xenomorph-dragon."

Speaking about Xenomorph dragons...
Hard Boiled Detective Since 1985
3838 Blissey110th Mar 2011 10:04:19 PM from a random Pokčcenter , Relationship Status: I know
insert title here
so, I'm thinking about stuff for the Durant article, and do you think that Victory Road was originally a Durant nest before the E4 moved in and added all the bridges, the structural supports, and smoothed down the hillside?
3839 Marioguy12810th Mar 2011 10:05:35 PM from various galaxies
Probably. It was probably a Heatmor nest too.
You got some dirt on you. Here's some more!
3840 Tangent12810th Mar 2011 10:11:28 PM from Virginia , Relationship Status: Gonna take a lot to drag me away from you
[up]x5: Well, no need to reduce a long section. Much better to make the others longer to match. (*cough* LegendaryNidoranArticle)

Article seems well enough, though it seems the dragons would leave some things alone, lest they destroy their entire ecosystem for privacy's sake.
Do you highlight everything looking for secret messages?
3841 TracerBullet10th Mar 2011 10:41:37 PM from A Dark and Rainy Alley
Guess Who...?
^ That said, some of the bits in "Notable Bio" could probably be spun off well into "Physical Description" or a subsection along those lines. Also, the article should really consider giving an in-universe reason for why everyone wouldn't be better off if these things were exterminated en masse (either by making them just a wee bit more sympathetic or by giving them a crucial biological niche). If they're going to be evil incarnate (which given the overall atmosphere of Pokemon, seems more than a little out of place), at least make them a necessary evil incarnate.

edited 10th Mar '11 10:53:53 PM by TracerBullet

Hard Boiled Detective Since 1985
Godzilla references? I get the nods to King Ghidorah and Godzilla, but what about Haxorus?
3843 SullenFrog11th Mar 2011 07:28:52 AM from Voormithadreth , Relationship Status: I wanna know about these strangers like me
Wait, he isn't dead! Shia Surprise!
I never snuck any Godzilla references into my Haxorus article (that I'm aware of); I did, however, put a subtle nod to Jurassic Park in at one point.
3844 TracerBullet11th Mar 2011 07:30:27 AM from A Dark and Rainy Alley
Guess Who...?
^x2 I think it's supposed to be a reference to Gigan.
Hard Boiled Detective Since 1985
3845 SullenFrog11th Mar 2011 07:32:58 AM from Voormithadreth , Relationship Status: I wanna know about these strangers like me
Wait, he isn't dead! Shia Surprise! does have a vaguely similar head and body structure, I'll give it that.

But where are the hooklike blades Gigan has instead of hands? Where is the buzzsaw in his chest? Where are those three sails that somehow enable him to fly?
Plus, Gigan is KG's ally, not his enemy.

Thread derail: Final Wars was fun, in a campy sorta way.

edited 11th Mar '11 9:24:27 AM by Belial

3847 Locoman11th Mar 2011 09:56:20 AM from Mandrill Maze
Really, most top predators (which is the general vibe I"m getting from that article) really aren't evil incarnate. It's the jumpy, paranoid, hyperactive middle of the food chain guys who are the evil ones. tongue

edited 11th Mar '11 9:56:53 AM by Locoman

The other night I dreamt of knives, continental drift divide. Mountains sit in a line, Leonard Bernstein.
I really get a feeling of generally aggresiveness from that line, seeing their Dex entries so far. Plus, it'd make sense to a Deino to try to bite most things; after all, I have to include the Fraxure/Haxorus threat, and those guys should know better that try to investigate something that kills them on sight. Of course, they wouldn't care much about something if they are full, and Deino may even just go and investigate it (even if in a shark-like way, touching with their gums. :P)

I have to revise a bit their interactions with other individuals, though, Always Chaotic Evil was not something I was aiming for. Self-centered, aggresive and Extreme Omnivore Big Eater, yeah, but I wouldn't consider them a pest, large predatory reptiles tend to behave that way; Komodo dragons are known to eat others of their own species in the middle of a feeding frency, but also to grow attached to people, enjoying being petted in the head. Gotta start writting more.
3849 TracerBullet11th Mar 2011 11:07:43 AM from A Dark and Rainy Alley
Guess Who...?
^ The stuff that you had for these guys' behavior wasn't bad (albeit a tad sparse), it's just that it seemed that it came off as implying that every Deino/Zweilous/Hydreigon would behave in such a manner. A creature like Hydreigon would undoubtedly be insanely dangerous to be around, but that doesn't mean that they can't have a little variety in personality on an individual basis.
Hard Boiled Detective Since 1985
3850 TracerBullet11th Mar 2011 12:05:50 PM from A Dark and Rainy Alley
Guess Who...?
And in other news, people haven't been reading that note on our page again...

Technical Machines


A technical machine, also often referred to as a TM, is a device used to rapidly induce the learning of new techniques to a Pokémon. The benefits of the use of such technology is readily apparent- a move that could take long periods of training to learn could be learned in an instant, or moves otherwise never available to a Pokémon can be taught. This drastically improves a Pokémon's flexibility in battle, and proper selection of moves can ensure that a Pokémon who would normally have little chance of overcoming a type disadvantage suddenly has the upper hand- this sort of phenomenon has been seen time and time again, with Water-types using Ice-type moves to overcome Grass pokemon, or Electric types using Fighting-type moves to defeat Rock/Ground Pokémon.

The exact processes that a technical machine uses to teach the moves are fiercely guarded trade secrets, though speculation and theories claim the machines do everything from restructure DNA and body structure forcibly, to bizarre theories on psychic or mystic augmentation that suggest the machines could be likened to spellbooks for Pokémon. More practical minded researchers not affiliated with TM-producers have put forth a more down-to-earth suggestion, that the machines merely awaken latent abilities that were there all along and were somehow made dormant via natural selection.


The current process of a teaching machine is nigh-instantaneous and painless. One downside however, is that, for reasons still unknown despite exhaustive research, a Pokémon can only remember four moves at any given time. This means that a trainer must make crucial decisions as to what moves their Pokémon will remember, and which it can afford to forget. Caution should be taken, however- Pokémon have their own preferences to moves, and may object- quite forcibly- to having a seemingly useless or inane move replacing a tried and true technique. However, many if not all trainable Pokémon will come around if shown the new move is a boon to them- one such example involved a rather irate Gyarados, furious with being made to forget Bite in place of the Thunderbolt technique, who became much more accepting of the loss when it found it could now deal with mating rivals with ease.

Theories have been put forth that perhaps Alakazam, a Pokémon with incredible memory, could be key in discovering a means to overcome this limitation, but such studies have ended in failure. One empath, on conversation with an Alakazam, claimed to be told the reasons for such were akin to why one could not put all the world's oceans in a single 1 gallon jug, and any further inquiry was met with rebuff or silence.


Pre-League-regulation T Ms were highly unreliable, prone to only allowing temporary use of a move, causing brain damage ranging from memory loss to insanity, and fatal mutations in a Pokémon's genetic structure. For this reason, T Ms have a history of being mistrusted by some, who see them as tampering with nature for man's amusement. In recent years, however, safety measures along with League inspections have resulted in no confirmed reports of legal T Ms resulting in anything more detrimental than the normal loss of a move, though black-market T Ms still do exist and have been known to cause injury and death in Pokémon. Despite this, T Ms now only suffer minor controversy regarding safety, to the point that Gym Leaders have found it a tradition to hand out T Ms related to their type to successful challengers.

More recently controversy, however, concerns the sudden switch from disposable T Ms to reusables. This switch has been met with euphoric rejoicing among trainers and doomsday wails among those financially tied to the TM manufacturing business. Obviously, a TM that can be used again and again is a boon to a trainer with more than one Pokémon that can use the move in question, however, to TM manufacturers, it means that repeat business will suffer. For example, the coveted Ice Beam, Flamethrower, and Thunderbolt T Ms are now being treated as family heirlooms rather than oneshot, expensive gifts. Opponents of the new reusable T Ms claim that such a switch will kill the TM industry as a whole: "Why buy a TM when you can ask a neighbor to borrow one for three seconds?" was one rhetorical question asked by a distraught employee at a TM production site. Whether the reusable models are temporary or permanent is yet to be seen, although old trainers are scrambling to get new versions of their favorite T Ms.

It was apparently posted by someone called "Mr Wacked," any thoughts?
Hard Boiled Detective Since 1985

Total posts: 8,338
1 ... 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 ... 334