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Judgmental Statue (0)
Artifact
T: Target creature.
"It seems to stare directly at your soul, making you remember everything you've ever done wrong."

Burnipede - 2RG
Creature - Insect
You may pay {R/G} instead of paying the Kicker cost for spells you control.
1/4
Many mages seek them as familiars, as they give spells a bit of extra kick.

Quintus, Mayor of Godshome - 1WU
Legendary Creature - Human Advisor
Non-creature spells your opponents control cost 1 more to cast.
Non-creature spells you control cost 1 less to cast.
During each end step, if a player cast three or more spells that turn, transform ~, then target opponent gains control of ~.
1/1
Quintus, Who Opened the Gate
Legendary Creature - Human Warrior
~ is Red and Black.
First strike
Creatures you control can't block.
Noncreature spells you control cost 2 more to cast
4/5

• Jason Druford, Saving Knight WW(W/B)(W/R)
• Legendary Creature - Human Knight
• First Strike
• When you have 15 or more creatures with different names in your graveyard, Transform ~
• 3/3
• I will fight at your side, but...I find myself...forgetting.

• Lord Eclipse III
• Legendary Creature - Human Wizard Knight
• Hexproof, First Strike, Lifelink, Deathtouch, Vigilance, Protection from White and from Black
• When this creature would be dealt damage, prevent the first 4 damage.
• 7/7
• I have found my new identity. And now...this world burns.

Sudden Turn 3UB
Instant
Gain control of target creature unless its controller pays life equal to that creature's power plus its toughness.

• Inquisitor Knight WWW
• Creature - Human Cleric Knight
• Convoke, First Strike
• You cannot cast this creature if you have 20 life.
• All Red creatures get -2/-1
• 3/2

Boo!
Instant
Morph B
Target opponent discards a card.

Penitent Demon - 3WB
Creature - Demon
Creatures you control have Flanking.
When ~ leaves the battlefield, destroy all creatures.
5/5

Can you even turn a nonpermanent card faceup? :/ I know you can manifest 'em, but I don't think you can turn nonpermanents faceup; the game divides by zero because there's a spell on the battlefield instead of on the stack.
Shouldn't be too hard to word around that, though; "Exile ~ and cast it without paying its mana cost," maybe.

Schrodinger 1BB
Legendary Creature - Cat Soldier
B: Return Schrodinger from your graveyard to the battlefield.
When you sacrifice Schrodinger, you lose 2 life.
2/1

Seras Victoria 1(B/R)(B/R)W
Legendary Creature - Vampire
Trample
Whenever Seras Victoria attacks, it gets +2/-1 until end of turn for each Vampire you control.
BW, pay 3 life: Regenerate Seras Victoria.
2/4

Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds 5 ^note (Couldn't decide on a mana cost. :/)
Creature - Woobie
At the beginning of your upkeep, each creature deals 1 damage to Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds.
When Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds dies, each player sacrifices each creature he or she controls.
0/2

edited 26th Jan '15 11:16:26 PM by Knowlessman

Thundercloak Infiltrator (R)
Creature - Human Wizard
1/1
Morph R
When ~ is turned face up, sacrifice it. It deals 3 damage to target creature or player.

I think this is the closest we'll get to morph instants and sorceries.

Peace 5W
Enchantment
At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice Peace unless you pay 1W.
Creatures can't attack.
So it was declared: "None shall move against another in anger. None shall move at all."

Consign to Oblivion 1WB
Sorcery
Exile target creature. If you cast Consign to Oblivion for its miracle cost, exile target permanent instead.
Miracle WB

edited 27th Jan '15 2:59:03 AM by ImperialSunlight

You cannot. If you would be forced to turn a facedown non-permanent face up, you instead reveal it to all players and leave it facedown.

If you were to exile a facedown non-permanent and return it to the battlefield, it gets exiled and never comes back. No flickering for you!

Economy of Movement 3
Enchantment - Aura
If white mana was spent to cast ~, enchanted creature has "W: This creature gains vigilance until end of turn."
If blue mana was spent to cast ~, enchanted creature has "U: This creature can't be blocked until end of turn."
If red mana was spent to cast ~, enchanted creature has "R: This creature gets +1/+0 and gains first strike until end of turn."
WUR: Return ~ to its owner's hand.

Mistwind Disruptor U
Creature - Wizard
Morph UU
When ~ is turned face up, you may counter target spell. If you do, sacrifice ~.
1/1

edited 27th Jan '15 1:07:26 PM by TheSpaceJawa

Because I was bored (and because I love the Dark Tower and got all excited when I saw those cards):

The Flagg card◊ posted by ~Nick The Swing on the last page.
The Crimson King card◊ posted by ~Nick The Swing on the last page.

I feel like the flavor text pushed them over the edge into being way too wordy, but still, Dark Tower <3. (I had to add an extra line under each flavor text to keep it from running over the P/T.)

Reworded a couple parts to agree with my understanding of how MTG cards are typically worded. Images found on Google.

edited 27th Jan '15 4:18:09 PM by SolipSchism

Damn that's some small text.

I would have removed the flavor text, but I didn't want to take too many liberties with the source material.

EDIT: I'm about to leave work, but when I get home I'll cut the flavor text and re-post them.

edited 27th Jan '15 4:17:43 PM by SolipSchism

Scion of the Crimson Dragon - Stardust
Legendary Creature - Signer Dragon
3WUG / 5/5
Synchronize 2 - you can sacrifice creatures you control whose total converted mana cost equal the mana cost of this creature plus (2) to cast this spell from your hand.
Flying, Vigilance
You can sacrifice this creature to counter a spell that would destroy any nonland permanent(s) you control. If %n was sent to the Graveyard in this manner, return it to play at the end of your turn.

Scion of the Crimson Dragon - Archfiend
Legendary Creature - Signer Dragon
3URB / 6/5
Synchronize 2 - you can sacrifice creatures you control whose total converted mana cost equal the mana cost of this creature plus (2) to cast this spell from your hand.
Flying, Trample
Creatures that do not attack are sacrificed at the end of the combat step.

Scion of the Crimson Dragon - Black Rose
Legendary Creature - Signer Dragon
2RBG / 4/4
Synchronize 2 - you can sacrifice creatures you control whose total converted mana cost equal the mana cost of this creature plus (2) to cast this spell from your hand.
When this creature enters the battlefield, you can destroy all nonland permanents.
Flying, Haste
(Tap) Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature you control. Then that creature fights target creature you don't control.

Scion of the Crimson Dragon - Oberon
Legendary Creature - Signer Dragon
3RWG / 4/5
Synchronize 2 - you can sacrifice creatures you control whose total converted mana cost equal the mana cost of this creature plus (2) to cast this spell from your hand.
Flying, Hexproof
(Tap) Destroy target enchantment. You gain life equal to that enchantment's converted mana cost.

Scion of the Crimson Dragon - Vayu
Legendary Creature - Signer Dragon
3BWU / 5/4
Synchronize 2 - you can sacrifice creatures you control whose total converted mana cost equal the mana cost of this creature plus (2) to cast this spell from your hand.
Flying, First Strike
(Tap) Counter target spell that deals damage to target player. Place a -1/0 counter on this card.
Remove a -1/0 counter on this card: Deal 2 damage to target creature or player.

Scion of the Crimson Dragon - Gadget
Legendary Artifact Creature - Signer Dragon
8 / 4/4
Synchronize 2 - you can sacrifice creatures you control whose total converted mana cost equal the mana cost of this creature plus (2) to cast this spell from your hand.
Flying, Affinity for artifacts
During your upkeep step, you can place an Equipment card from your Graveyard to the top of your library.
If this creature would be destroyed while enchanted with an Aura and/or equipped with an Equipment card, you can sacrifice the Aura and/or the Equipment card instead.

edited 27th Jan '15 4:35:35 PM by Nitramy

Same above, but without flavor text:

Flagg◊
Crimson King◊

Flagg's rules text still runs into the little silver bit (I'm not sure what the official name for that thing is, probably something to defeat counterfeiting), but maybe I could disable the reminder text.

edited 27th Jan '15 5:32:01 PM by SolipSchism

Oogway - 4WURG
Legendary Creature - Turtle Monk
First Strike, Haste, Shroud
{1}: Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature you control. Then, if that creature has five or more +1/+1 counters on it, it gains Shroud and this ability (permanently).
Creatures dealt combat damage by Oogway don't untap during their owner's untap step for as long as Oogway remains on the battlefield.
1/8
"One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it."

More fanfic cards, well, card:

• The Void Dragon 15
• Legendary Artifact Creature - God Dragon
• Shroud, Rampage 5, Lifelink, Flying
• The casting cost of ~ is reduced by 2 for each Artifact Creature in your graveyard with casting cost 4 or greater.
• During the end of each of your turns, you may search your library for an Artifact Creature with casting cost 5 or less and put it into play.
• 16/16

edited 27th Jan '15 7:46:38 PM by NickTheSwing

Wait, I think I fucked up. I put that Flagg dies unless you cast him/used his ability, but the original was you lose the game unless you cast him or used his ability. Damn. Party foul. I'll fix that later today.

Cut the Threads WB
Instant
Exile target permanent with a fate counter, then put a fate counter on another target creature.
"Fate cannot be avoided. It can only be realized." - Scholar of Athreos

edited 28th Jan '15 5:45:22 PM by ImperialSunlight

The actual Flagg card... again... done right this time◊.

My bad.

And because I haven't posted anything new in some time:

Heart Container—3W
Sorcery
If you have less than 20 life, your life total becomes 20.
If ~ is in your opening hand, you may begin the game with 30 life. If you do, reveal ~ and shuffle it into your library at the beginning of the first upkeep.

Heart Piece—W
Sorcery
You gain 5 life.
If there are exactly four cards named ~ in your graveyard, you gain 5 life, then shuffle all of them into your library. (This ability triggers only once for all four cards.)

EDIT: Oops, I forgot to round out the series:

Heart—0
Instant
~ is white.
You gain 1 life.
Whenever a creature controlled by an opponent dies, you may shuffle up to one card named ~ from your graveyard into your library.

edited 28th Jan '15 5:48:34 PM by SolipSchism

The Thread Won't Cut!? - 1B Instant
Target creature gains hexproof this turn.
Sacrifice a creature.\\

Sucky movie, but good reference.