Make your own Magic card!

Change it to paying its converted mana cost and it becomes a little more useful.

Edit: Ninjaed by Chuck. Congratulations, Chuck, on figuring out what that deliberately useless-sounding ability does.

edited 11th Mar '12 12:28:06 PM by Chimaera

I was completely stumped on how crappy that sounded at first, too. But then I read the second ability, looked at Sorin's Colors, and then went "But of course".

It doesn't really help you when you first cast him, though, which is kinda bad for a +1 ability.

I'm not sure what to cost this.

Manifested Suffering [Cost- inc. blue and black]

Enchantment

Whenever a player puts a card from their library into their graveyard, that player loses one life.

Should be relatively expensive considering how easy it is to mill a lot at once. I say 3UBB?

Sir Auron, the Unstoppable (3WW)
Legendary Creature - Spirit Samurai
4/4
W: Regenerate ~.
Trample, bushido 1.
Whenever ~ deals combat damage to an opponent, you may gain 3 life.
"I foresee no difficulty."

>Samurai

>Sir

Ahahahahaha

Hah

No

I have the feeling Exi didn't get the reference.

Also, while I see where all the other abilities come from, why the Sorta-Pseudo-Lifelink?

edited 11th Mar '12 4:10:09 PM by LeChuck4

Have you ever played Final Fantasy X?

Fact 1: Auron is loaded with Rōnin tropes - dead former master, left arm held out of its sleeve for absolutely no reason, bottle of sake (which he uses for a flamethrower), and a Limit Break called "Bushido".
Fact 2: He's also a summoner's guardian in-game, and that brings with it the honorific "sir". Especially since he's recognised both in and out of universe as a huge badass.

[shrug] I'm not sure, it just seemed kind of appropriate.

edited 11th Mar '12 4:12:15 PM by CountDorku

I do not play Japanese role-playing games.

edited 11th Mar '12 4:49:16 PM by Exelixi

The lesson is do your research before speaking up, my dear nerd culture impaired friend.

Just for future reference, he's this guy.

And is so a) ronin and b) badass it physically hurts. Specifically, it physically hurts his enemies.

I happen to be extremely well-versed in Anglophone nerd culture. I just dislike Japan. Or, rather, the crap that comes from Japan that people enjoy for no discernible reason. Some things are pretty cool, though, like Okami.

Also, being a ronin? Shame. INTENSE shame. Like, almost suicide worthy, because it means you suck at being a Samurai.

Also, that sword is impracticality shaped.

Well, the whole "suicide" thing is a bit difficult, since, well...

Also, it's a Final Fantasy game. Everyone has impractical weapons. If you think the sword's silly, consider that other party members use animated teddy bears (seriously) or fling sports equipment at the enemy's head. Auron's sword is among the most practical ones, since it is actually intended as a weapon of war rather than the ball for an underwater rugby game.

Yeah, I'm just gonna drop image macros and leave that be.

[1]◊

Because nerds who like stuff from the West are totally cooler than nerds who like stuff from the East and this is absolutely a legit cause for elitism.

Moony. Juan. You guys should know by now that I'm self-parodying.

At any rate, another FFX card, though I have no idea about the price:

Sending WWWW
Sorcery
Exile up to seven target creature cards from target player's graveyard.

I had a notion that Rikku would be a blue creature and somehow give equipment in play the activated abilities and/or power/toughness bonuses of equipment cards in your hand, but I couldn't think of a graceful way to make it happen.

Now I'm beginning to think about an actual FFX deck.

Possibly Duel Decks: The Party vs Every Douche in Spira.

Also, a parallel universe legend inspired by my current role as the Big Damn Villain.

Sedris, Defender of Vithia (2UBR)
Legendary Creature - Spirit Warrior
5/5
2UBR, exile a creature card from your graveyard: put X 1/1 white Spirit creature tokens onto the battlefield, where X is that creature's power.
When he fought the darkness, it cursed him to an existence of suffering from which there can be no escape. But a man, even a dead man, with nothing to live for is a man with nothing to fear.

Also also, a redone Auron.

Auron, Legendary Guardian (3WW)
Legendary Creature - Spirit Samurai
4/4
Trample, bushido 2.
W: Regenerate ~.
W: ~ gains wither until end of turn.
"I foresee no difficulty."

edited 12th Mar '12 2:33:05 PM by CountDorku

Exelixi: Parody is a form of sarcasm.

Sarcasm can be hard to pick on the Internet. No fault of your own, just how it goes.

Lost Future (1UU)
Instant
Whenever target player would draw a card this turn, he or she puts that many cards from the top of his or her library into his or her graveyard instead.
The most terrifying vision a seer can have is not to have one at all.

Really I created the flavour text first and then sort of perverted the card to fit.

Also:

Palshaz's Servant (3)
Artiface Creature - Golem
Multikicker W, U, B, R and/or G.
When Palshaz's Servant enters the battlefield, put a 1/1 white Soldier creature token onto the battlefield for each time it was kicked with its W kicker, then draw a card for each time it was kicked with its U kicker, then target player discards a card for each time it was kicked with its B kicker, then it deals X damage to target creature or player, where X is the number of times it was kicked with its R kicker, then put a +1/+1 counter on it for each time it was kicked with its G kicker.
3/3

edited 12th Mar '12 4:19:28 PM by Idler20

Selfless Martyr (1WW)
Creature - Human Cleric
If you would sacrifice another creature you control as part of a cost or effect, you may sacrifice Selfless Martyr instead (the effect proceeds as though the original creature had been sacrificed).
"No, take me instead!"
2/2

edited 12th Mar '12 4:42:46 PM by Idler20

Would it be possible to use a kicker to make a creature playable as though it had flash?

I could see a phrasing like you find on trap cards working similarly, but I think a new mechanic might be more appropriate.

Battlefield Looter 3RR
Creature- Goblin
First Strike
Whenever ~ kills a creature, attach one spell attached to that creature to ~.
Whenever an enchanted or equipped creature dies, you may pay 4. If you do, attach one spell attached to that creature to ~.
When ~ dies, shuffle all spells attached to it into their owners libraries.
4/1

edited 12th Mar '12 9:32:34 PM by OhnoaBear