Make your own Magic card!

Haha, yeah, now that you mention it, I did see that.

Rose "What Could Possibly Go Wrong" Lalonde
WUB
Legendary Creature - Human Wizard
1, Tap: Look at the top card of target player's library. You may put that card on the bottom of its owner's library. If it is an artifact card, you may reveal it. If you do, exile that card and transform Rose.
1/1
——-
Avatar of Woegoth
Legendary Creature - Human Avatar
Fear, Flying
Tap: Destroy target creature. It can't be regenerated.
6/6

This is probably not very balanced; I just wanted to make that pun.

edited 30th Nov '11 6:34:31 AM by Haven

Mechanicsburg Memories (3UR)
Enchantment
Red creatures you control get +1/+1.
Blue creatures you control get +1/+1.
All artifacts and Zombies you control are blue. All Wizards you control are red.
"BIG HAMMER!" - Agatha Heterodyne

I made some Homestuck-themed cards.

All These Stairs◊
Aradia Megido, Maid of Time◊
Rocket Pack◊
Canonize◊
Cultural Rainbow◊
The Yellow Yard◊

edited 30th Nov '11 11:33:48 AM by SpruceZeus

I think the players ought to be planeswalkers. They have the the capability to travel between universes, anyway.

Prosceticism WUBRG

Enchantment

Everything has protection from everything.

edited 30th Nov '11 8:30:29 PM by Gelzo

(Edit ninja'd. Disregard.)

edited 30th Nov '11 8:34:57 PM by KylerThatch

^^ I like that a lot. That would do wonders for my deck idea built around Darksteel Reactor.

Turtling ahoy, basically.

edited 30th Nov '11 9:33:14 PM by GlennMagusHarvey

Prosceticism super bones everything but a narrow subset of decks, because players are allowed to have protection too, thanks to Seht's Tiger. I imagine decks would spring up that cheat Prosceticism into play and then grind the opponent to death with Agent of Masks or something.

edited 1st Dec '11 5:09:09 AM by Glidergun

Polokus (WUBRG)
Legendary Creature - Avatar
6/6
Reach
~ is indestructible.
If ~ has flying, sacrifice it at end of turn.
The Spirit of the World has creepily long forearms.

I know Prosceticism has issues, but I left it like that just because I thought it was funny and the text was amusingly brief.

I think a better way to have a card like that would be "Everything has Hexproof". It'd have to be costed reasonably high since it resists removal.

King of Confusing Rules (WU)
Creature - Human Knight Wizard
Phasing, banding.
3/3
"Sorry, run that by me again?" - Jace Beleren

edited 2nd Dec '11 7:36:19 AM by Idler20

It should come into play with a +1/+0 counter, a -1/-0 counter, a +0/+1 counter, and a -0/-1 counter.

While +1/+1 counters and -1/-1 counters are antimatter to each other, these are not.

Mindy (GGG)
Legendary Creature - Human
0.5/0.5
Hexproof.
~ is unblockable.
"Okay, I love you, buh-bye!"

Buttons (2WW)
Legendary Creature - Hound
3/3
~ is indestructible.
"Silly puppy!" - Mindy

@Idler: Not confusing enough. Needs "WU, Return a creature you control to its owner's hand: Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature blocking or blocked by King of Confusing Rules. That creature becomes 2/2 and loses all abilities until end of turn."

Yagokoro Eirin◊

Get two of her out with Grave Pact and just start cleaning house.

edit: Though for this card to be effective, I need to either invent a bunch of rabbits or start making use of Changelings.

edited 3rd Dec '11 3:39:10 AM by Ramus

Houraisan Kaguya◊

AKA, I stop EVERYTHING!

Fujiwara no Mokou◊

...is punching you every single turn.

edit: Just going to compile this in this post for now on:

Izayoi Sakuya◊

The Devil's Dog◊

The Maid's Essentials◊

Whatever The Young Mistress Desires◊

Patchouli Knowledge◊

edited 3rd Dec '11 3:35:11 AM by Ramus

The Immortals: All of these really need a cost of some sort attached to their recurrences. Otherwise it's way too easy to dump a Mokou in your graveyard within the first turn or two and just slaughter your opponent. Also, Kaguya is a one-sided Stasis if you have a sac outlet, and Eirin is grossly overcosted if you actually cast her.

Sakuya: I'm not sure what the transform trigger is supposed to be, exactly. Do you mean "At the beginning of your upkeep, any player may sacrifice two creatures. If a player does, transform Sakuya"?

The Devil's Dog: is presumably the transformed form of Sakuya. The activated ability should be "Put two time counters on target creature. That creature gains Fading."

The Maid's Essentials: Broken. Why yes, I would like my Batterskull to cost 2 mana, thank you very much.

Whatever the Young Mistress Desires: Doubling the mana cost is such a harsh requirement that I think this could actually be an instant.

Patchy: The way it's worded, it gets pretty ridiculous if you have a Prismatic Omen out. The ability should probably be split into its component parts for simplicity. I think the Mountain and Swamp abilities are too powerful, and possibly the Forest and Plains ones as well.

Sacrifice a basic Mountain: Patchouli Knowledge deals 3 damage to target player. Sacrifice a basic Swamp: Target creature gets -2/-2 until end of turn.

These are still extremely powerful and I wouldn't be surprised to see a monored deck that used Sneak Attack effects to throw 15 damage worth of mountains at the opponent for the win.

edited 3rd Dec '11 7:44:25 AM by Glidergun

Oh hum, right. Sakuya is meant to transform if either player sacrificed two creatures last turn. Yay for that typo.

The Immortal abuse with sending directly to the graveyard didn't occur to me. Guess I should rephrase it as during your upkeep, you can spend mana to pull them back out.

Patch... eh, Sacrifice Land, play that color plus one uncolored mana to use associated ability?

Maid's Essentials, freaking living weapons. I'll think of some way to balance that.

Mistress Desires, I was thinking about making that an instant instead, making whatever it summoned have flash and increasing the cost by four uncolored mana instead.

edited 3rd Dec '11 8:06:02 AM by Ramus

Insidious Verdict (WB)
Sorcery
Target player exiles a creature he or she controls.
Case dismissed.

edited 3rd Dec '11 11:26:58 AM by Idler20

I like it.

Succinct, yet flavorful.

It's kinda surprising that no card combining the black "force a sacrifice" and the white "exile a creature" abilities had been done already (although recently, white has been forcing sacrifices with Dispense Justice, and black has been exiling with Sever the Bloodline).

Mental Mismember

Steel Spellskite

Man-o'-War Elves

Garruk's Horde of Notions

Kessig Wolf Overrun

Gelatinous Hypergenesis Chamber Wave

Spawnsire of Ulamog's Crusher

I'm not going to bother writing text for all these. I think you can get the idea.