We are all teachers at Trope High

Hello class, I'm Mr. Distortion. Please take out your copies of The Illuminatus Trilogy and turn to page 376. Now, who can explain to me the symbolism of George's penis in this scene?

edited 10th Nov '10 4:50:52 PM by LolipodDistortion

Academy RPG. I'd go to your thread.

Mr. Distortion, the students ate my chalk again, so could I borrow some? Please make it quick, or they'll eat my desk while I'm gone.

I warned you about those expiremental omnivorous children. -gives chalk-

Now, class. Does anyone know the literary themes and allegories presented in Morrowind? Anyone?

Welcome to introduction to programming class! Any student caught programming in Java or Visual Basic will be sent to the principal's office.

Billy, this essay is complete shit. You don't address the prompt, it's only 3 sentences long, the only text you cite is from "Dick and Jane", and it's done in green crayon. Get out of my classroom.

Wikipedia, I need to have a word with you. -grabs chair and smashes it over Wikipedia's head- THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR TEARING MY ASSIGNMENT INTO SHREDS! I DON'T GIVE A CRAP IF YOU DON'T KNOW JACK SHIT ABOUT REYNALDO THE ASSASSIN, YOU WRITE WHAT I WANT YOU TO WRITE!

Hey! Clyde! Stop eating the light fixtures! And Anne, desks are not food! Sigh, why do I have to teach Extreme Omnivorism?

So who can tell me the role of cunnilingus in the trilogy? Anyone? Yes, maddy? No maddy, you may not go to the restroom. Shut the fuck up.

*slouches into classroom* Hello, you miserable little sonsabitches. Due to rampant stupidity at the managerial level, you have been assigned a Chemistry teacher - i.e., me - who failed tenth-grade science twice and has not held a test-tube since.

Anyone who came here with the intention of learning anything would do well to run to Mr. Richardson's classroom and beg on their knees to be admitted. Everyone else, welcome to Home Ec. -_-

... are they gone?

You sure?

YOSH! Ladies and gents, break out your plugsuits, goggles, Core Drills, sideburns or whatever ya got - THIS IS MECHA PILOTING 101!

edited 10th Nov '10 5:17:05 PM by FurikoMaru

Hello, kids. I'm the teacher's assistant for Tsunde Ray and like him, I will be teaching you how to program, so stop playing Halo and open up MSVS.

edited 10th Nov '10 5:16:28 PM by FuschlatzOReilly

You don't know what tantcott + sintcsct is? *Smacks kid* You're in kindergarten. LEARN!

edited 10th Nov '10 5:20:40 PM by LandOfGold

"Hello, class. Welcome to video and games 101.

For the first week, we're watching Manos:The Hands of Fate."

-turns on the television, grins at the responses from pupils by the half hour mark

~End of lesson~

Being the very last lesson of the day, the film runs well past home time and kids are getting agitated. The door is locked so no-one can escape.

"For your homework I want a review of this film, pointing out why it is so awful. Dismissed!"

edited 10th Nov '10 5:22:24 PM by Shichibukai

2?

OH, GOD! THE STUDENTS ARE EATING ME ALIVE! AHHHHGHAAGHGHAAAARGH...

edited 10th Nov '10 5:23:47 PM by Anomalocaris20

Wikipedia? AGAIN? -smashes Wikipedia into desk- I DON'T GIVE A CRAP IF IT'S "NOT NOTABLE, MR. THESPACEPHANTOM" YOU'RE GONNA WRITE THE GODDAMN ESSAY!

edited 10th Nov '10 5:26:29 PM by thespacephantom

You can calculate the average of all the integers in an array using the following three lines:

int total = 0;

for (int i = 0; i < numbers.Length; i++) total += numbers[i];

int average = total / numbers.Length;

And it's as simple as... Is anyone even listening to me?

edited 10th Nov '10 6:03:41 PM by FuschlatzOReilly

Today in Catchphrase To The Max 101:

Proper use of "tubular".

Open your textbooks to page 261.

By the way, has anyone else finished filling out the form for their end-of-year trip? You definitely shouldn't miss it. No, seriously. The government is watching this stuff.

JIMMY! Put that away! If Mr. Ray sees you writing Java he'll feed you to Mr. Anomalocaris's class!

Anyway, welcome to AP Alternate History, the first quiz was yesterday if the South had won the Civil War, anybody care to explain why?

edited 10th Nov '10 6:37:28 PM by HungryJoe

...well, that's that for programming. Good thing I don't teach within 50 miles of SJSU.

Anyways, time for my next class: Video Game Genre Appreciation. For the next 2 weeks, we'll be talking about non-Bullet Hell shooting games.

"Man, that shit's easy, you should check this out!"

*takes his yukkuri mug and smacks him over the head*

Anyways! Turn to stage 2-1 of this Raiden II replay.

edited 10th Nov '10 6:56:14 PM by TsundeRay

Alrighty then! Welcome class, I'm Ms. Velvet, your new Fetishes teacher! Now, who here can tell me the word indicating a sexual attraction to trees?

Alright you primitive screwheads listen up. This is Creative Writing for shitheads. For your homework, write a 10 page story on a time you did something brave. If anyone needs me, I'll be in the teachers lounge.

I know that we've been focusing a lot on Do Androids Dream? in this Philosophy of Mind class, but today I wanted to touch upon a slightly different subject... Zombies. Does anyone think zombies can dream? Do you think it would be harder or easier for them to have cognitive thought than an android?

Questions? Answers? Stupid remarks? Troper Tales, anyone?

-Drags partially-eaten self out of classroom-

NEVER! AGAIN!

No Billy, making toast is not brave. I don't care if your mom says electricity is dangerous. Billy, shut the fuck up.

edited 10th Nov '10 7:41:14 PM by LolipodDistortion