Dumb things you used to believe as a kid

Yeah he is. I am too.

As a little kid, I always thought that in the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus", that it was actually the narrator's dad dressed up as Santa which made the entire song a joke on the narrator who was dumb enough to believe that Santa existed.

Hideously belated edit:

The "dumb enough to believe in Santa" part was what I thought <i>as an obnoxious, stuck-up little kid</i> who thought I was so special for knowing the "secret" of Santa/tooth fairy/etc. being imaginary. I seriously did not intend to insult kids for believing what their parents tell them and I didn't realize it read that way.

Also, I don't know, maybe it IS about this? But over the past few years I've kept hearing versions of the song that seem to heavily imply that the kid's mother is actually cheating on the kid's dad with Santa, so I kind of eventually assumed I had been interpreting it wrong all along. I don't even know anymore.

edited 25th Jan '16 5:37:39 PM by Catamaran

I could write the book on how to waste one's potential, but I'm not going to.

It's not?

Peace is the only battle worth waging.

Holy shit! I thought the same thing!

"People always say that you should follow your dreams... so I'm going back to bed" -me

I never understood how sex worked. It was weird. I'm better now, but jeez I was stupid.

edited 25th Dec '15 10:04:49 PM by gregnes2000

Edit: Thanks for cleaning up that Flame Bait

edited 25th Dec '15 10:06:03 PM by SmartGirl333

I had never heard of mistletoe as a kid, so I thought they must mean "missile". I was therefore much more preoccupied with wondering "Who keeps a missile in their house???"

Everybody's all "Jerry's old and feeble" till they see him run down a skyscraper and hijack a helicopter mid-flight.

I still want someone to explain what that song's about…

edited 26th Dec '15 5:23:59 AM by Spinosegnosaurus77

Peace is the only battle worth waging.

...isn't that what the santa claus song is about?

Read my stories!

That's what I thought.

edited 26th Dec '15 6:27:18 AM by Spinosegnosaurus77

Peace is the only battle worth waging.

That IS what the song is about. The song is from the POV of a child who obviously would not be able to logic out that the Santa Claus fellow there is just their dad dressed up like Santa.

Though I question what child would think, "Boy, wouldn't it be hilarious if my dad saw my mom cheating on him in plain view of our Christmas tree?"

also

The song is from the POV of a kid, and most kids who grow up with Christmas as a thing also grow up with believing in Santa Claus being a thing when they're young. That doesn't make them dumb at all and I don't know why you would think that.

edited 26th Dec '15 1:07:31 PM by Odd1

Insert witty 'n clever quip here.

I believed the girl in Pacifidlog when she said the aformentioned water colony was built on top of a bunch of Corsolas.

What happened? Why am I not allowed to post anymore!?

I used to believe that more recent movies were always better. And not just as a kid, but even into my late teens.

I realized I was wrong after I decided I should watch Planet of the Apes... and picked the awful 2001 remake. Which left me confused by... everything in general, and the absence of the famous Statue of Liberty scene in particular.

Worldbuilding is fun, writing is a chore

Thanks to my misinterpretation of a Blue's Clues episode, I thought drawing a portrait meant drawing while looking at the paper in a mirror.

Peace is the only battle worth waging.

I thought people were racist against black people because they thought they had some sort of disease. I also thought different races of people were different human subspecies

Because of how similar they looked, I always thought the mascots of Elmer's Glue and the Laughing Cow cheese were brother and sister.

"There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes." -The Fourth Doctor

I don't know if I posted this one in this thread yet: The first time I heard the word "gay" being used to mean anything other than happy was when I was playing cops and robbers with an older kid, who used it as an insult while remaining "in character" as a cop. The exchange was something like:

"I think you're gay. Do you know what gay means?"

"Happy?"

"Yeah, and when you get too happy, you steal things!"

Thus I had this impression that being "gay" basically meant you were a deliriously happy kleptomaniac.

This isn't a thread for things other people believed when they were kids, but for some reason I just remembered a conversation where someone told me they used to believe the Olsen Twins were actually triplets, but one of never got to be on the covers to their videos for some reason. That is, instead of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, they thought it was Mary, Kate, and Ashley Olsen.

I thought that about the Olsens, too. I always got so confused.

"It's liberating, realizing you never need to be competent." — Ultimatepheer

I thought, for some reason, that saying what I know now as profanity would take me to another dimension. Turns out, the profanity on the gazebo was possibly some guy's angry ramblings when his wife divorced him!

What happened? Why am I not allowed to post anymore!?

YOU HAVE ANGERED THE GAZEBO

I once thought that in one episode of Little Bear, there was an entire ocean in the title character's tub when he dove down to look for his soap.

edited 1st Jan '16 7:07:16 AM by TroperNo9001

"I just want what everyone else has, that's all."

Thanks to Haunted Junction, I once wanted there to be a ghost of a beautiful woman haunting the bathroom in my school. ^_^;;

I smell magic in the air. Or maybe barbecue.

YOU HAVE DISTURBED THE DIRT

What happened? Why am I not allowed to post anymore!?

ENGLAND MUST NEVER MERGE WITH FRANCE!

"People always say that you should follow your dreams... so I'm going back to bed" -me

I thought assassin was a bad word (maybe because it has ass in it?)