Dumb things you used to believe as a kid

I thought that a millennium was a million years.

Also, I thought that IE was the only browser and that Papyrus, Comic Sans and Curlz MT were good fonts.

I genuinely believed that All Animation Is Disney. Similarly, I assumed all video games were made by Nintendo.

The concept of 'Protestant'

I used to think that forest fires were caused by dragons.

Some of them are.

'Trees, like torches, blazed with light...'

I thought the Louisiana Purchase made Canada a third smaller.

I thought if you broke up with someone you could never get back together again

It thought that, if "standup" referred to the performer standing up on the stage, then a "sitcom" must be named like that because of all the times characters sit down

I used to insist Big Brother (like, the reality show) had a spin off show called Big Sister.

I used to think my cats could understand me if I just thought at them heard enough.

edited 24th Aug '15 4:59:54 AM by lalalei2001

I was always told not to get on the computer during a thunderstorm, so I thought it was because it would detect me sitting at it and automatically self-destruct in my face.

And I thought it was a tragedy that a new letter of the alphabet hadn't been invented in so long, so I tried to invent a new single letter for the "ch" sound and force it into common usage. I didn't quite get that there was no way to arbitrarily ┴ange how people write things.

edited 26th Aug '15 3:13:23 AM by BaffleBlend

I thought that Woody's real name was "Randolph" (or "Rudolph", I can't remember which) because I misread some text in Toy Story 2. That didn't last long, though.

I thought elephants and bears were mostly aquatic.

What text?

I assume "Woody's Roundup Randolph".

The tinny Fifties TV singers couldn't have helped.

edited 29th Aug '15 5:13:50 AM by BaffleBlend

I thought I'd be a serial womanizer by the time I was 15. I'm 17 and oh-so-lonely.

When I was a kid this little girl near where I live was murdered. When I first heard about I figured it had to be a hoax or something because obviously no one would be evil enough to murder a little girl

I thought the liberal left was a coherent group defined by themselves, rather than opposition.

Whereas the conservative right is a coherent group?

Oh, you can, just like you can cover your head in batter and dunk it in a deep-fat frier...

I believed it was completely normal for everyone to regularly get in trouble very often and seemingly randomly; in school, on forums, anywhere. After all, that had to be the reason I got in trouble so often, right? It's not like I was doing anything WRONG on a near-daily basis, right?

It turns out that kid me was just a huge dick with a victim complex.

edited 11th Sep '15 5:56:18 AM by BaffleBlend

Before the magic of child birth was explained to me, but I knew about sperm and eggs, I didn't understand how they were transferred.

Then I realised that people in love kissed a lot, so I said to myself "Oh God it's so obvious!" and thus concluded that kissing was the transfer of.. Stuff.. From that point on I never kissed my parents on the lips ever again.

I also used to complain about boners very vocally to my parents because it was "really really annoying". I assumed it was a growth spurts were.

I used to think that too!

Among other things, I thought for a time that circumcision meant removal of the glans, and I wondered why I still had my glans if I was told I was circumcised.

Also, until I was maybe 14 I thought that humans were the only creatures with penises and vaginas, and that all other animals had some other means of procreation. The worst thing about this is that I actually watched a cat give birth once.

I thought showing your work on a math problem was cheating.

I might have already posted this before, but I used to think that the vaginal opening was on the front, not the underside.

Also, going back to the claw hammer discussion, I didn't realize that it was just a normal hammer, and assumed it had something to do with the Crab Hammer attack from Pokémon.