Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted. But seeing as you'rr not one of the main characters, Aslan drives you off, and the Queen gives you a chilly reception.

I wish I had perfect time management skills so that I could fit everything I wanted to do in 16 hours.

Granted; you get several doctorates, get married, raise kids, get them through college, and retire, all in 16 hours, then die.

I wish I had cookies.

You have cookies. In fact, you get literally all the cookies in the world...too bad they ain't free. Now gimme the f**king money! *points gun*

I wish tigers weren't endangered.

Granted, they're now extinct.

I wish I can take over the entire Tamriel.

You take over the entire Tamriel. Your rule is short and tumultuous, since so many other factions want to take over as well. You are assassinated. Your assassins, and the new rulers, cover up the story and say you choked on your dinner. No resistance comes to avenge you. You are reduced to a blurb in Tamriel history books.

I wish for a cup of hot, delicious tea.

Too bad you didn't wish for it not to be poisoned, because it is.

I wish for a new state-of-the-art laptop.

Granted! the cutting edge laptop is at your door, the payment plain is spelled out in the bill that comes with it and your credit card is automatically billed $4999 . . . a month.

I wish to become a (non-twilight) werewolf with full control of the beast from and when I transform.

edited 15th Jul '17 11:22:51 AM by vjoi

Granted. You end up shot with a silver bullet by a hunter.

I wish that you could lab grow meat in your house.

Three Words: Bio Meat

I wish I had a keyblade.

edited 15th Jul '17 12:01:40 PM by Blackie

Granted, but it's only a replica the size of an actual key. It doesn't unlock anything either.

I wish i could turn Cabbages into Gold simply by touching it.

Too bad the only thing you have to eat is cabbages and you can't use that gold to buy other food.

I wish I had a real live Eevee.

Granted! it has rabies and loves to bite!

I wish to gain the same powers as Rolo Lamperouge (btw it is not time stop so there is no physics problems.)

that. Is. Cheating! Geas never had required secondary powers!

edited 18th Jul '17 4:34:59 PM by vjoi

Granted, you don't have any of the Required Secondary Powers.

I wish I had a newer Ipad model.

Granted, The newest model is alive and evil.

i wish i was a character in the simpsons.

Granted, You are now Frank Grimes.

I wish i could fix the government.

Granted. You have all the skills required...but you never win an election and you don't quite have the gall or moxy to pull off a coup.

I wish I could be instantly energized and ready for the day in the morning.

Granted, but you work the night shift and by time the sun dawns, you instantly pass out from exhaustion and get fired.

I wish you wouldn't grant this wish.

edited 19th Jul '17 2:23:36 PM by Jaxfirebus

The genie has decided to send you to a random city on a bus with no supplies or money instead. Have fun!

I wish Title II rules for Net Neutrality were upheld and that Ajit Pai and all anti-Neutrality officials were disbarred from working in the US government, or any other country's government in the position of telecommunications regulation.

Granted. Disgruntled with their sudden firing, the anti-net neutrality crew decide to set up the biggest botnet ever made and permanently D Do S every site that didn't support their views, making it as if net neutrality never happened in the first place.

I wish this was an actual wish.

edited 20th Jul '17 1:08:47 AM by flygon250

Granted, and you'll regret it.

I wish I can develop a new type of Tamagotchi, not for raising virtual pet, but to raise your favourite anime girl in an egg-shaped gem.

Granted! They are also real, feral, violent, and psychotic so enjoy!

I wish for a free (working) ford f_150 that never needs fuel and auto repairs itself.

edited 20th Jul '17 3:41:20 AM by vjoi

OK, but it's 1/4 scale so you can't actually get in it and drive it.

I wish I had an extra-large, non-poisoned pizza with all my favorite toppings on it.

You have it, but you are now lactose intolerant and can't eat any cheese, and you have also developed a severe allergy to at least five of your favourite toppings.

I wish I landed my dream job. It offers great money, great benefits, home-office, cool working hours and life-to-work balance.

edited 20th Jul '17 9:02:57 AM by XFllo

Granted, you get fired.

I wish I had a Doctorate.

You now have a PhD in geology. You've written your doctoral dissertation on the best ways to extract coal. You're WAY behind the times, and thus, unemployable.

I wish for an operational hot tub in my office.

edited 21st Jul '17 6:12:05 AM by RaspyMink