Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted: Fan Dumb Pearl and Evil!Rose are made canon. Lapis decays into a Generic Doomsday Villain and the creators announce that Steven was a robot all along.

I wish I had an extra hour or two of sleep this morning.

Granted, but during that extra sleep time, the world explodes and you would've been the only one to stop it.

I wish Disney would finally just release Darkwing Duck on DVD, with some special features, uncut episodes, and with all the episodes.

Granted, but it's only available in another language. With no subtitles.

I wish I didn't have to get a job.

Granted, you don't have to, you'll just get fired...from a cannon into the Sun!

I wish for my previous wish to be in English! In Region 1!

Granted, but someone beats you up and steals it from you.

I wish I could speak Spanish, French, and Arabic fluently.

Granted. It's on fire.

I wish that I could actually keep up with my favorite shows.

Granted, but you can't speak English, so your friends can't understand you unless they're Hispanic. Oh, and the wish guarantees that that won't happen.

I wish I knew jiujitsu.

Granted, but you lose your ability to speak, understand, and relearn your first language.

Granted, but your bones become more brittle, so you're more vulnerable to injuries.

I wish my class schedule was more organized.

edited 2nd Sep '15 8:13:18 AM by TroperNo9001

Granted, but now you have to take three classes you hate.

whoops

I wish i had a a real and domestic Pokemon.

edited 2nd Sep '15 8:10:57 AM by StarBee

Granted, but in turn, the day extends to 23 hours.

Granted, but it runs away.

I wish...I could be...

edited 2nd Sep '15 8:11:39 AM by TheKaBlammer

Granted, but you already are, so the wish does nothing.

I wish I was the Dragonborn.

Granted. You are born a dragon, but your parents are both humans...

I wish to sail the seas of cheese.

Granted. The seas of cheese are on a different planet with an atmosphere that you can't breathe. There are many wonderful cheese-based lifeforms to discover and interact with on this world, but, alas, you will never see them because you expire after just fifteen seconds... and wake up in a test chamber on the moon. Good luck surviving!

I wish that the Technics WSA1 synthesizer wasn't so incredibly rare.

edited 2nd Sep '15 11:13:52 AM by lewattoo

Granted, it's so incredibly common that the quality cheapens down to Star Wars Holiday Special levels.

I wish the Square Root Of Minus Garfield buffer ran faster.

Granted, but now every other comic is a "Garfield (insert wordplay on Minus) Garfield" strip

I wish that I could have a friend dragon that is real.

Granted, but of course, not all friendships are meant to be. Fill in the blanks.

I wish that Steven Universe was actually upgraded from a Vanilla Edition release, in terms of home media release.

Granted, but Peridot is replaced with some uninteresting gem called Jade.

Granted, but

I wish that Animaniacs and Akira had a crossover.

Granted. But its low budget porn, and only available for purchase in Siberia.

I wish there was a crossover between Horrible Histories and Attack On Titan.

Granted, but Moral Guardians go up in arms, due to Horrible Histories being a children's series.

I wish that Animaniacs and Akira had an official crossover, accessible here, and no R34.

Granted, but some crazy rich fanboy buys out every copy

I wish I didn't suck so bad at my mobile games

Granted, but you get so good that the companies notice and charge you for each time you want to do absolutely anything.

I wish that this was the meaning of life.

Granted, you have made humanity even more stupid and have degenerated them into even more babbling morons. You kill yourself in a "what have I done?!" moment.

I wish the true Forum Games where still up and accessible..... (they weren't from this website)

Granted. Absolutely fuck-all changes, save for what site this is on.

I wish for the monkey to go to heaven.

Granted, but the computer is on the blink, so he is not accepted.

I wish I was a Catboy.