FATAL

Fuck the world, let it burn!

I find Excel is easier to work with (or at least, preferable, I like excel), since I can just program in all the calculations to be done for me, and I just have to plug results into the right column.

If you want, just put the following in:

• FLOOR(RAND()*100+1,1)

Copy it to four consecutive cells, sum, divide by 2 and subtract one, and just start copying the results into the right spots on the sheet. It re-randomizes the results every time you input data, so it basically automatically rolls each time you punch in the results of the last roll.

OK, here I go...

• Phys Fit 103
• Strength 96
• Bdy Attrct 109
• Health 73
• Total Phys: 95

• Facial 177
• Vocal 104
• Kinetic 143
• Rhetoric 120
• Total Charisma 136

• Hand-Eye Coordination 144
• Agility 105
• Reaction Speed 101
• Enunciation 124
• Total Dex 118

• Language 91
• Math 154
• Analytic 162
• Spatial 146
• Total Int 138

• Drive 105
• Intuition 115
• Common Sense 96
• Reflection 123
• Total Wis 109

OK, new female character, and my best stat is my facial charsima, and my worst overall stat is the "Strength" stat, Physique, and the worst, specifically, is the one where I take hits like a sissy. WOOHOO! Even the dice are sexist, apparently, when you start playing FATAL. Well, at least she's good at math.

Also, gotta love that I have "Enunciation" dexterity as it's own friggin' stat.

BUT WAIT! That's just my random rolls, you see, I have to go on, and see how these rolls actually affect my other rolls, because apparently, having less than 100 Physical Fitness is a penalty to Bodily Attractiveness. So, basically, I now have to copy paste this whole 25-stat table over, and start throwing in a new post-modifier table. I can't help but shudder at the thought that when I do later modifiers based on gender or age or race, I'm going to have to update these modifiers of modifiers by hand.

So, anyway, 96 strength means -1 life points, -3% damage, and -3 skill points, and that I can only "Clean And Jerk" 61. I'm thinking that's not as dirty as it sounds, even if it is FATAL, because next to that is Bench Press and Dead Lift.

Oh glorious day, it turns out my 109 Bodily Attractiveness gives me +1% to my bust. I was worried about that! (It also helpfully informs me that I should be shopping for B-cup bras!) It also gives me -3% waist and +1% hips. Oh, but if only I had a maxed-out score for my Bodily Attractiveness, then I could get a whopping +7% to breasts, -25% to waist, and +3% to hips. Since the "average" appears to be 25" waists, that would be a 19" waist, and 36" hips... Then I could snap like a toothpick in a fierce wind.

Oh no! My poor health roll means I lose another 9 Life Points, have +27% "Intoxication / Vomit" (Not vomit resistance! It's just what I need most in FATAL!), only 30% (as opposed to 75%) illness resistance, and 2 allergies. (ROLL FOR ALLERGIES!)

Well, hopefully, I can make the bad diseases go away with looks, because my "Facial Charisma", at 177, is apparently described as "Causes Wetness" (Spit Take).

The next stat that is unaverage is "Kinetic Charisma", which is the stat for how "pretty I move", and is "particularly important in Dance, Massage, and Sexual Adeptness". HOORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Good thing for me, I got a 143, one of my best rolls, in the GoGoEnslavement stat! Anyway, my pole dancing stat is described as "Sleek". Oh, and fun fact, the best you can get in this stat, they describe as "Glabrous". I had to look it up, and it apparently means "having a surface devoid of hair or pubescence." So Yeah.

With 120 Rhetorical Charisma, I have to roll to see if I talk faster or slower than "perfect speed", and rolled high, so I can proudly say my character has an Average Speed Rate of 172, with "perfect" being 170! With rolls this good, I might actually be tempted to give a damn what this guy considers a perfect rate of speech!

Also good news, my Hand-Eye Coordination is precise to 1/250th of an inch! Get out your calipers, kids, I want to test this! Anyway, I'm sure this will come decidedly in handy when my character enters a life-or-death Ship-in-a-Bottle making contest!

Uh-oh! My bad Int roll was on Language! This means I have a Vocabulary Limit! Apparently, since Antidisestablishmentarianism (which is a word I learned of in elementary school, specifically because it was funny-sounding and long) is so long and the "best" word I can learn with the best score, and the worst scores go "ga-ga", "mom", "horse", "woman", and "violate" (only the basics!), then I assume this scale is based on how polysyllabic I can be. REALISM! Everyone knows that they have a certain set syllable limit that try as they might, they can never cross, but any shorter word is perfectly fine for them. Anyway, with 91 in Language, I can say "Substantial", but apparently, not "Experimental", "Conversion", or "Instantanious". Because clearly, there is a huge gradient in difficulty between learning these words... ... REALISM!...

But that's OK, I'll make up for my slovenly inability to understand what "Instantanious" means by wowing them with my maths! With my overwhelming grasp of numbers, I can unlock this game's ultimate form of math: GEOMETRY! Hell, yeah! Fear the power of my hypotenuses, bitch! Oh, wait, can I say "hypotenuse"? I don't know, that word is fairly substantial.

Analytic doesn't have anything funny to go along with it, which is too bad, because it's one of my best rolls. I wish it would tell me how big an object I can ponder, or something similarly absurd.

But that's OK, because Spacial doesn't let me down! It tells me how many pieces can be in an object I am thinking about. Because, you know, REALISTICAL MEDEEEEVIL Roman people never wrote anything down, they just went completely by what was in their head. Anyway, I get to think of a 4000-piece machine, while a normal 100 Spacial person can only think of 200. I'm not sure how that works. Frankly, I'm not sure of many things less complex than a friggin' airplane or imbedded circuitry that really needs 4000 "Objects of Assembly", but whatever.

My 105 drive means that I'm only slighly less lazy than an average person, so I spend "15 hours a day relaxing", and I get back 1 of those Life Points.

A whole bunch of nothing interesting, but my last Wisdom stat, Reflection, tells me that my first memory was from Age 2. Ooooooookay?

Anyway, this is a huge chunk of text, so I'll post this now, and go on with it later.

edit: oh, but my 138 Intelligence is enough for me to be considered "genius"... you know, at least until it takes a hit for my deciding to play a female character.

edit again: Oh, and remember how your reflection determines how early your first memories are? Yeah, well, you take a -90 penalty for being an infant to your Reflection score, meaning that you remember EARLIER in your life the older you get, while you aren't going to be capable of remembering anything above your age until you hit at least puberty!... REALISM!

edit some more: Oh, and another juicy tidbit: You can exercise to gain more Physical Fitness or Strength, but if I ever skip out on exercise after trying that, I go through some inane and convoluted set of die rolls to determine how much body fat I would gain, and if I gain it to my hips or thighs! THE HORROR!

edited 17th Sep '09 3:30:15 AM by Wraith_Magus

I assume your first memory is of a horse woman violating your mom.

Rightyho kids, it's that time again: Poly's stopped gibbering and is ready to continue. When we last left off, barbarian By'ron Hell had just discovered that he has half-inch prehensile nipples and a tongue that would make Gene Simmonds blush. For the sake of my sanity, I hope the next section is something a bit less squicky.

5 minutes later

...

Poly emerges, his eyes circled by great black rings and blood dripping from his ears.

I have seen things that cannot be unseen.

I somehow managed to roll the smallest possible anal circumference and the largest possible manhood. Well at least we know if he's a catcher or a pitcher. There's a section on anal depth potential and ripping orifices, but honest to God, I think my head just exploded with sheer squick. Ugh. FATAL makes me feel so dirty. With the junk size now rolled, I have a feeling we should change the character's name. Suggestions? Chewbacca maybe?

edited 17th Sep '09 3:28:16 AM by polymphus

Testicles. Pronounced "TEST-ih-KLEES", like a Greek name. Or is that Latin?

edited 17th Sep '09 3:28:09 AM by Made of Meat

Testicles it is. Bedder of Monsters and Slayer of Wenches.

I'm going to try and be less squicky and just roll for damn skills then go back and sort out the rest of the modifiers.

Time for some random rolls!

Physical Fitness: 108 Strength: 117 Bodily Attractiveness: 76 Health: 135

If you tack the negative modifiers to bodily attractiveness onto this, the guy has about 50. It's the nipples, I swear. They just freak the hell out of people.

Facial: 117 Vocal: 131 Kinetic: 147 Rhetorical: 82

Luckily for Testicles, he moves so gracefully that the sheer sight of his balletic poise makes poets weep. Unluckily, he's still got half inch prehensile nipples.

Hand-eye coordination: 102 Agility: 88 Reaction Speed: 105 Enunciation: 68

Aaaaand even after the reroll enunciation is hilariously low. And this time, so's rhetorical charisma. I get the image of him lumbering into battle screaming incoherently and sounding like he's just been shot full of tranquilizers. Combined with low agility, it seems to be that testicles has caught 'Bay's disease' and is stuck permanently in slow motion. If a PC dies, he just has to drop to his knees and do a Big "NO!".

Language: 108 Math: 141 Analytic: 111 Spatial: 88

It's been done to death, but why the hell is trigonometry considered the most complicated maths anyone can do? I flunked high school maths and even I got an A+ in trigonometry.

Drive: 171 Intuition: 62 Common Sense: 81 Reflection: 120

Drive is huge, but intuition and common sense aren't. So he wants to do things, but all the things he wants to do are stupid. Anyone thinking Byron Hall wasn't such a bad name after all?

Poly

edited 17th Sep '09 5:00:42 AM by polymphus

Of course he can kill people by taking his shirt off. If he has prehensile nipples, he can make little guns or something for them.

OK, new chapter, new post. I'm helpfully informed that since I am going to be playing a woman, I am more likely to be moved to tears. Since I am reading the bible of misogyny, the FATAL rulebook, I will not disagree that women are probably going to break out in tears reading this shit. Apparently it goes on to say "Women are more wakeful, shrinking, and difficult to rouse to action." WTF? Are they just making stereotypes up off the top of their head, now? Well, it cites a "prominent philosopher" as its source, so obviously some old disproven greek philosophy is obviously more REALISMISTIC than hard science or observable data.

Apparently, I get a +3 to bodily attractiveness just for being female. Because, you know, people's bodies are rated in attractiveness on completely the same scale regardless of gender. That might make sense if everyone was bi, but considering "gay" is the worst setting for vocal charisma, I highly doubt that would play into such a homophobic game.

Other goodies are that I get +4 reflection (woohoo! If this keeps up, I'll be able to remember my repressed memories from when I was 1 year old!), I get +5 intuition (whatever, I don't even feel like making a snide comment about that), +2 to language, and +2 to "Sanguine Temperment"...

Meanwhile, I take another whopping -15 to Strength, -5 Physical fitness, -3 spacial, -2 drive (because women are lazy? What?), -2 "Choleric Temperment", and -3 Math (NOOOOOOOOO! MY GEOMETRIES!)

Anyway, that messes with some things. I think dropping my Physical Fitness below 100 also drops my bodily attractiveness down some, as well, so yay, I've got to go back and do some crap with those awful tables again. Later, though, I'm sure it will bounce around some more.

I'd also like to point out the beautiful artwork on these pages that consist of a box that says "Artwork Here" in it.... QUALITY!

OK, now it goes on talking about how inferior women are in society, how menstration is a punishment from the gods, that their place is in childbirth, and I should be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen getting my husband some sammiches. I could express shock and horror at this point, but I don't think this is any kind of surprise that I found this here. "Roll for Anal Circumference" is a tough act to follow...

OK, according to my roll, I'm some kind of Fair Elf, which is obviously better than everything else. And I'm not kidding when I say better, because I take (another) major hit to strength, but everything else is all up, up, up for elves. Apparently, that means I love wine (Oh no! My vomit resistance is low!), and am a vegetarian. It also means I can't grow older than Young Adult.

Oh, and apparently, common names are "Ylfe and Ynglie". Are you freaking KIDDING me?!

OK, really looking at these stats, I get +10 Physical Fitness (no more penalty), -10 Strength (At this rate, I won't be able to stand up straight without support), +10 Bodily Attractiveness (meh), +30 Health (Woohoo! Here I come, vomit resistance!), +15 Facial Attractiveness (Up to 192, I am now BEYOND causing wetness! You betta watch out, I'll just cause eye-exploding-hotness with my face, now!), +10 Kinetic Charisma (Good, I needed more pole-dancing stat!), +5 hand-eye, +5 agility, +10 Language (Oh YEAH! Who's "Instantanious", now?!), +20 Drive (for a bunch who love wine, they seem to get alot of caffine in there, too), +5 intuition, +10 Common Sense, and +5 Reflection.

I should also point out that being an elf gave me enough overall positives to put ALL my category stats above 100.

I'm also -50 Ethicality (basically, Chaotic), and +10 Morality (basically, Good). I'm also -50 Choleric, and -25 Phlegmatic, as if I cared.

Yay, I also get +10 to my geneology skill, because I'm damn sure that's gonna come in handy, plus +5 to my etiquitte. I so hate it when people are RUDE when they prance around the world trying to rape people with their Rod Of The Phalluses, it's so much better when they know proper etiquitte for that sort of thing.

Apparently, I have racial hatred for Anakim (everyone does) and half orcs, but I'm "accepting" of humans. Oh yay, I apparently call Anakim "Stovepiper" as a racial slur to make fun of their "huge manhood". Classy! Even better, half orcs are called "Spear chuckers". Racially sensitive!

And that's the end of that chapter!

Polymphus: I don't think you're doing this correctly, unless that's after modifiers, because you have some really far from average scores, there. You really shouldn't be getting 200+ stats, or so many single-digit stats.

The formula is 4d100 / 2 - 1.

Do you even call lady anakims stovepipers? Is that what you'll call me after I roll my character?

So, does your Phlegmatic-ness mean you're really phlegmmy or not phlegmmy?

Aaaaw, but I liked those stats. I couldn't make head nor tail of Hall's writing style, and since each stat maxed out at 300 I assumed it was D300. If possible, the truth is even worse. As a note though, it is after modifiers. I rolled about 40 bodily attractiveness, but had a lot of negative modifiers. Should I reroll, or is the hilarity of my statblock too good to lose?

edited 17th Sep '09 4:28:08 AM by polymphus

Phlegmatic relates to your personality type. It's based on the old and hilariously unREALISTASTIC notion of bodily humors, and their influence on your personality. Because the amount of blood (Sanguine) determines how cheerful you are.

Oh, I know all about the humors. I just assumed FATAL had stats for mucus.

This thread has been the most hilarious suff I've read in a while, I'm actually crying from laughter.

the statement above is false

Indeed, it's like some kind of Crowning Thread of Someone Else Suffering Funny.

The three finest things in life are to splat your enemies, drive them from their turf, and hear their lamentations as their rank falls!

Y'know, I don't get the Stovepiper one. Why is Hall disparaging large penises? You'd think in his grossly mysogynistic world that having a huge dick would be a good thing. I can just imagine it;

"You suck!"

"Yeah, well... you've got huge junk!"

It just doesn't work does it?

Well, from a REALICSITATIC approach, the ancient greek did value small penises, and larger ones were funny

edited 17th Sep '09 5:27:32 AM by JethroQWalrustitty

the statement above is false

You mean...Hall got something right? It's not possible. It doesn't compute. I think I'm going to go lie down in a corner and watch the pretty lights for a while.

Well, of course, Armour of Jewy Jewbacca decreases the size of the wearers manhood, so it is also insulting.

I think Mr. Hall may be a Goldicocks.

Damn, I just created some embarassing browser history while looking for a latin term for fetish for large penises.

edited 17th Sep '09 5:50:44 AM by JethroQWalrustitty

the statement above is false

OK, the next chapter is on "BODY"... shivers run down my spine.

Oh, and before I forget, since you liked the racial slurs, halflings are called "poople". Humans are given the ultra-degrading term "sickly" by the elves. BURN! I just didn't bother typing those out.

First up is Age. I rolled 31, so I am apparently 111 years old. Since elves are supposed to be immortal, like Tolkenian elves, I don't know why they limit you to a d100, though. It also doesn't even matter, as the lowest I can roll is 81, and that's the start of the Young Adult bracket. Oh, and yay, I live 1d10% more immortally than my Spear Counterpart elves.

I roll 6d6 + 39", so I'm apparently 5'1" shorttall. I got 18 for weight, and I only add that to 68, so I'm a friggin' twig at 86 lbs. But I apparently add another 3 lbs for being an inch taller. If I were shorter than normal, I would subtract only one pound. I have no idea how that is supposed to make sense.

Oh, and can I point out that the example character they are talking about is a male human with 190 strength called Antichristo? Because it is.

Let me see, hair charts are up next. As a fair elf, I can apparently have any hair color, so long as it's blonde. I rolled 78, so it's apparently light blonde! Whew, I really dodged a bullet, or I might have had dirty blonde, there.

I also have to apparently roll for my "most attractive" and "most unattractive" parts. Since my face apparently sends people into catatonic shock on sight, it would be very weird if this randomly rolled my face as unattractive.

OK, and 32 and 56... so my voice is really attractive (even though it's rated as normal), and my least attractive part are my breasts. Why do I even roll on this crap when I have a piss ton of stats that tells me the specific dimensions of my waistline and how much wetness my face causes, anyway? This doesn't even change any stats. Oh well, at least I didn't roll "Crotch", I'd hate to have to run around with a cameltoe everywhere.

OK, now I get to roll for skintone. Fortunately, I get a -40 to this roll for being an elf, so I'm sure I'll be "glow in the dark" pale, which will undoubtably give me social modifiers for my whiteness. Now then, ROLL FOR WHITENESS!

Well, I got "Pale", so people think I "obviously, the rare to go outdoors". GRAMMATICAL REALISTIGASM! Well, at least there aren't any modifiers for paleness in this, at least so far as I can see.

Now for hair. (Say, I don't see any modifiers based on my hair, am I using the same chart as you guys?) I get +8 for female, and +26 for elf, so I start at +34 for being hirsuteglamourous hair-ness. Aaaand I roll a 99, so I get a total of 133. Great, I'm going to be friggin' Rapunzel, aren't I? Well, looking at the chart, they stop at 100, but that's for "medium thickness, and wavy"... OK, whatever. I also get green eyes. I dodge a bullet, and have normal vision.

OK, now I have to roll for facial features that will make everyone assume something about me for reasons I totally don't understand. Apparently, I have a mole on my ear, which means I'm "noble, one who repays favors, good friend". Well, it's a stupid theory, but at least it doesn't suck to be me.

---

OH FRABJIOUS DAY, KALOO, KALAY! I just hit the section titled "Sexual Features", finally, children, we get to the "good stuff". Here it is, the money shot, the reason you paid admission, the roll for anal circumference! This alone deserves a breaker in the post.

First, I apparently have to roll for Areolas, because people apparently really give a shit about this stuff, especially when you can't even see this character that consists entirely of a God-awful number of randomly generated stats. Well, I have a 1.5" areola, medium color. Oh, and there's modifiers of +25 for being fat or pregnant to your breast size rolls, yay. It says with a helpful note that the REALISOPHILE research that went into this game says that males and females prefer "average" bust sizes. Because individuals do not have preferences, apparently. Anyway, I rolled a "C" cup (obviously, because I have ugly breasts, so they are all ugly and slightly bigger than average. THE SHAME!) Dire importance: ROLL FOR NIPPLE LENGTH: Well, I didn't get the freakishly large rolls, but I still landed a .75" erect nipple length.

Woohoo! Now I roll for Hoo-hah width. I'd just like to point out that in this game, apparently, if you stretch an anus or vagina more than their set limit, they tear into a single hole, and you can die instantly. You know, so obviously women who give birth to children with heads larger than an inch in diameter obviously are in danger of exploding into having a cloaca or just dying outright. Oh, and just for extra klassyness, you get a +10 modifier for vaginal width for being older, and a -25 for being younger. You also get bonus width for being a mother, being "nymphomaniac" and more for being "slut". Well, anyway, I didn't roll anything too extreme, so I got an above-average 6-8", which it helpfully informs me is capable of handling a "thick unit".

Oh great, now I have to roll for depth potential, which is measured in terms of percentage of my overall height. So, I rolled 28, so I add 28% onto 5.08", so that's 61/12*1.28 = 6.50667" in depth and WHY THE FRICKEN LAZER BEAMS DO I HAVE TO DO THIS MUCH MATH FOR VAGINAL DEPTH?!

Tongue size. Tongue size? Tongue Size! Well, why the fuck not. OK, I got a 61, so I have a slightly longer than normal tongue at 2.5", and I can apparently touch the tip of my nose with it.

Oh happy times. Now rolling for the dreaded anal circumference. Well, apparently, it's exactly the same chart as the vaginal circumference for reasons I don't understand. Plus, they also make men get +5, so apparently, men's anuses are looser than most women's vaginas. I didn't know that about REALISTIC people. Well, I got another slightly above average roll, here, so I "can handle a thick unit" with 6-8" in diameter here, too. Nothing to see here, folks, move along.

Oh, and now I get to roll the vitally important Hymen Reistance stat, so that I can, apparently, determine if I'm still a virgin after penetration. Why, I don't know. Well, I rolled fairly low this time, so I apparently have a weak hymen at only a 31. (It's 5d20, so the average would be 52.5 there.) My poor not-really virginity! How delicate! Oh, and there are no apparent modifiers for the roll for whatever is actually being put into the vagina, So Yeah.

Well, this now goes into fertility rates, and cites Microsoft Encarta 99 as its source for its "exhaustive" and REALIBIGGERSTICK research. Oh yeah. It talks about how males have to roll for sperm count. Sperm count. Roll for sperm count. No, it still doesn't make sense to me why anybody would ever want to roll for sperm count no matter how often I repeat it. Christ, I was kidding when I said to roll for blood circulation. This isn't even a one-time thing. You have to roll EVERY TIME for your sperm count, and take a -30 modifier after every go within the last 24 hours. Pregnancy only occurs 1% of the time if the man has a high enough sperm count roll, anyway, so obviously, this guy has a REALISTIC thing against pregnancies, just like how he doesn't have any REALOTRON ST Ds, either.

Oh ho! Verbal Tic of another forum goer! I now can go over the rules for menstration, so as to fully understand the punishment of the gods on my character who sinned so badly that she was undeserving of a Y chromosome. Oh, and after telling you how much of a punishment it is, they also let you know that you're "on the rag", too. Oh goodie goodie gumdrops, I get to roll for what kind of menstral cramps my character gets. Well, apparently, I get headaches, and have fatigue for 1d8-1 days before the period arrives. Oh, and it helpfully tells you to increase your melancholic or choleric temperment by 1d100 every time you have a period if you get depression or irritability with your menstration. Because you need to roll for more random, unimportant shit in this game than you already do.

They have a chart for infant mortality rates, too. As elves are better in every way, they only have a 1% mortality rate, so yay for that.

Next, they go into an even more elaborate manhood roll with very specific instructions for how to determine penal circumference for the vital task of rupturing rectums, but that's obviously not anything I have to roll for, since at least hopefully, I'll never have to roll for hermaphroditism. (Right?... please?)

---

Out of sexual features, and into the "Rare Features" section. Now I have to roll for foot size. OK, seriously? It was one thing to have a strange fetishistic roll for the diameter of sexual organs and all, but what, are we going to roll for toenail growth rates next?

Well, I rolled only a 9, but since I am an inch taller than normal, that kicks it up a strangely large modifier of +10, so 19. I have 5-6" feet. I'm on friggin' toothpicks.

I'm right handed.

Head circumference. HEAD CIRCUMFERENCE! This is apparently vitally important for your hat fitting needs, as it explains, and it's got a bizzare set of conditional modifiers, including multiplying by .97 (!) for being female, and it measures by fractions of an inch. You then have to roll another percentile die to add or subtract hundredths of an inch, because apparently he has some really freaking bizzare head measurement fetish that would require a 1/250ths an inch precision dexterity to measure out exact head diameter!

Well, apparently, I rolled 45, so I have 22.12" base, rolled low, so I subtract the next roll, which is 82, so I have a head circumference of 21.30". This is vitally important shit, here!

Oh great, now there's a pregnancy complication rate thing, here, too. They also make you roll for how much weight you gain and how much you swell, as well as how premature the pregnancy is. Elves apparently have a 160 week pregnancy.

Well, here's the allergies section, but being an elf put my Health high enough that I don't have them. There are only 8 allergies, and bee and wasp stings are counted seperately, for some reason.

OK, intoxication tables. Since I'm so light, I apparently go straight to vomitting if I drink a single Mead. I apparently have to also roll for alcohol poisoning after drinking, thanks to low body weight. As a female elf, that roll is a d100 roll to beat 90. So, basically, any time I drink 4 drinks, I am in mortal peril, or at least just pass out and risk more inevitable rape. Oh, and there are no benefits to drinking alcohol. Somehow, I don't think this guy hates drinking, but it sure seems like he goes out of his way to punish it.

Reefer Madness! Apparently, there are charts for marijuana intoxication. Apparently, REALISFLEA marijuana has some kind of addiction, so it is more powerful depending on how long it's been since your last toke. Again, everything marijuana does is completely negative for your character, which may be sending some kind of good moral message, but it really makes you wonder why a player would ever consider doing something that does nothing but hurt them, and probably costs quite a bit.

They now have some things on Psychodelic Mushrooms, and tell you to roll for cancer and diabeetus. Oh, and Tourettes. The MM can order you to shout obsenities when you have it. Of course, if you're playing FATAL, that's basically like reminding the player to breathe.

OK, that's the dreaded chapter 3. Next up is the stupid Disposition chapter.

Wow, this thread ballooned. What monster have you created, J Bridge?

Also, Wraith... Um...

"(It also helpfully informs me that I should be shopping for B-cup bras!)"

... Bras weren't invented until the 19th century.

Sakamoto demands an explanation for this shit.

Hey! You! Shout an obscenity!

Are you going to play this with anyone? If so, they should play a really depraved guy who tries to violate you at every opening. See how much he succeeds and what kind of dice rolls he needs to do. (bonus points if he's a woman in real life)

Fixed.

Ow, my nose!

edited 17th Sep '09 7:30:07 AM by JethroQWalrustitty

the statement above is false