A Creepy Good MIB group?

So I'm trying to write a science fantasy setting, and am wanting to include an MIB-like group whose basic gimmick is their ability to invoke Horrifying T He Horror and Humans Are Cthuhlu. They fight monsters with magical abilities and advanced technology.

Some of their traits I'm thinking of are: 1. They seem completely emotionless. They talk in a Creepy Monotone. 2. They have supernatural senses. 3. In an inversion of Evil-Detecting Dog, non-sentient undead creatures are inexplicably frightened by their presence. They walk near a zombie, the zombies flip out and try to leave. 4. Underneath their cool shades, their eyes are glowing blue.

I'm trying to think of any other abilities or traits they might have that would help with this. Can anyone think of anything?

Their suit pockets are Bags of Holding.

They're trained in just about everything.

When not ruthlessly pursuing their goals, they're genuinely good people. They think nothing of picking up the tab, treating the sick or injured, or carrying someone over 10 Km to safety. Which makes the fact that they'll slaughter everyone they just helped if they feel they have to all the more horrifying.

So an MIB might be bandaging a small child's leg, then receive a message, then pull out their gun and shoot the child in the head and walk off if nothing happened.

They switch between personalities - one moment they're "themselves", chatting with their friends and family, then suddenly their face goes blank and they refer to people they've known for years as if they were some random citizens.

They move so quietly, they'd surprise you in a silent room.

They utilize Stealth Hi/Bye.

When they want to talk with you, they don't knock - they're already sitting in your living room when you enter it.

They're never seen eating or drinking.

edited 22nd Sep '15 5:50:45 AM by Kakai

No matter what language they're speaking, their speech patterns are always subtly off, like they're mentally translating from their native language. Nobody has ever managed to figure out what language that might be.

I'm thinking that some of them will have the ability to use a Doppelgänger Attack. Being chased by a bunch of identical guys in suits, I think, would make for a great Mook Horror Show

They have a odd uncanny similarity to them. You can swear they are related but closer observations reveal they are nothing alike.

They can talk in a casual tone about detail from your life, from what your mon did to your sex life in more detail that you even new, giving the idea of how much they know

I'm thinking up a short story that would center around one of their agents:

The agent at first appears to be an everyman visiting a small town with a dark secret. Weird, scary things (I'm not sure what) are happening in the city because of a local elderitch abomination. The hero investigates, and eventually meets the horror face-to-face. After a brief conversation, the monster simply decides to kill the protagonist.

The hero slowly recovers from his seemingly-lethal injuries, and as he's doing so he simply says "You don't think we'd find you? We see everything". And then he goes one-winged angel and brutally murders the monster. He then returns to normal and acts like nothing happened at all.

I like the concept - provided, of course, that you won't write with with the agent as the POV. Also, may I suggest something?

After this Pre Ass Kicking One Liner you've got here, have the story jump to POV of someone away from the battle, hearing the sounds of monster's brutal and painful agony. Then have the agent walk out of the battlefield, acting as if nothing happened. Let the readers fill in the blanks as to just what the agent did to the monster.

That's Broodhollow with badassery injected into it.

I don't see much tension there, though. It sounds like the return punch is a Curb-Stomp, and I wouldn't show most of what happened. I would just skip the whole final battle, and just have the guy come back to the town diner, order a cup of coffee and a slice of pie, then mention that he took care of the problem. "The skies over Townotropolis were an odd, vivid blue ever since then, not the purple the old-timers remembered over checkers and salted peanuts."

I would underplay the badassery. The less there is, the stranger it will all seem (and the lack of proper explanation for what actually happened - letting the reader fill in that blank themselves - can be more effective than a protracted fight scene).

EDIT: Oh, and Proto - you already raided "Slightly Off Traits", right?

ANOTHER EDIT:

edited 26th Sep '15 9:43:02 AM by DeusDenuo

What some third person just out of sight would hear:

[Monster]: I am Fthamigmentia!! Cheturnigumituf! FTHA-"

And silence. Birds stop chirping, insects stop chirping, the wind stops blowing, clouds stop moving across the moon, gravity lessens slightly- just for a moment, then everything returns to normal.

Agent appears. Walks by completely casually, smells slightly of lilac.

"S'up?"

Creepy, questionably-ethical but still the good guys MIB group would be Her Majesty's Secret Occult Service, a.k.a. the Laundry. Of course, they're based off the more realistic models of how espionage agencies work rather than the Hollywood MIB version, more Len Deighton or John le Carre than James Bond.

(Although the second book is a spoof of James Bond and it's hilarious.)

I think you'd have to go with the Laundry's American counterparts, the Black Chamber, the Operational Phenomenology Agency. Dudes are a lot more powerful and straight-up evil, but they're still theoretically on "our side"—that is, when the stars come right and the Old Ones return to Earth, they're fighting on humanity's behalf (assuming, of course, that all their meddling in Things Man Was Not Meant To Know hasn't resulted in Things From Beyond infiltrating their agency—word of Stross is that parts of said agency are "no longer under human control"...)

So, to take some Laundry-esque examples for fun.

• Glamours that give them human faces sometimes flicker under pressure, revealing the inhuman creature inhabiting the rotting corpse underneath.
• Occult surveillance on a target: there's an eye only they can see always watching them. Sometimes it's peeping through the keyhole of their bedroom door, sometimes it's reflected in a mirror, sometimes it's in the eye socket of their daughter. It never blinks.
• Ability to hijack authority. The local small-town cop that was harassing the heroes? The MIB goes to speak with them—and now they're enthusiastically cooperative, with utter terror and despair only visible if you look closely in their eyes.
• Limbs don't bend in the same ways that human limbs do; subtly wrong number of joints, and the skin of throat sometimes ripples as the creature they have in place of vocal cords stretches and flexes.
• Feel at ease among charnel houses, graveyards, the sites of old gallows or mass murders—the echoes of violent death reminds them of home.

An unexplained ability to never be dirtied or visibly scarred by any activities. You may see them end up rolling in dirt and dust while fighting, but look away for less than a second and their suits are just as pristine as ever. This could contribute to the completely unfazed and detached demeanor that goes well with this sort of group.

Some sort of biological ability to Ret-Gone things. It could be a Story-Breaker Power if handled badly, but I think it thematically fits well with a creepy, not-quite-human secret government agency.

Based on From a Buick 8:

• Voice sounds like he's talking through a mouthful of jelly.
• Up close, facial features look kind of waxy and melted, like a burn victim.
• Almond-shaped eyes with no discernible whites.
• Odd accent that doesn't match up with any known languages or dialects.
• Clothes that fit perfectly well, yet seem ill-fitting at the same time, as if they're covering up non-human anatomy.

You cold also give the Agent a car-that-isn't-really-a-car, if you want to be obvious about it.