Writing a Character with Nonbinary Gender

So one of the members of my main cast of characters happens to be nonbinary (meaning they don't identify as a man or woman) I wasn't planning on explicitly mentioning this until a bit later in the story. But something I've realized, although they happen to have a gender nuetral name ("Sam") they happen to be in a very "traditionally masculine" profession and can act a bit like a Drill Sergeant Nasty sometimes (it's slowly revealed that they're actually very friendly, compasionate and is one of the most nuturing characters)

• I want to avoid readers from immediately assuming this character is male (if possible)

Any tips for accomplishing this?

Describe them before you mention their name. The image will stick, with the name attached. If the name comes first, it will tend to influence the readers first (imagined) image of them.

...if you don’t love you’re dead, and if you do, they’ll kill you for it.

You could try using a non-standard pronoun. "Sam is very tough, ze is also quite handy with a knife, and a good cook. I enjoy listening to zer voice, and looking at the paintings which are zers."

Even when writing from the perspective of a tri-gendered alien race, Isaac Asimov used regular gender pronouns. ('He' for two of the genders, 'she' for one.) It's not very subtle and really jarring to have a pronoun that doesn't fit into typical English.

You're going to have to contend with the fact that your audience will draw assumptions, and most of those assumptions are going to be that characters have binary genders. In fact, some people will have difficulty with just the fact of a nonbinary gendered character.

I'd say there probably isn't a way to avoid that first impression. Write them as naturally as possible and don't worry about whether people will get the gender wrong in their heads for a bit.

What does your viewpoint character think about this nonbinary person when they first meet them? Would they assume this person is male, or do they have some special way of figuring out what gender they identify as?

Not everyone knows just what the hell nonbinary gender is. Try to imagine yourself in the shoes of such an "ignoramus" and view your character with said ignoramus' eyes. What will you think they are?

I'd go with "they" over "ze" personally, easier to parse, but that's just me.

Read my stories!

I really like using they as a non-gendered pronoun. Some grammar nazis will jump all over you because "they is plural" but it is the best English has.

I believe that in 20 years "they" will most likely be the grammatically correct way to refer to any person of unknown gender.

As a kid my grammar book (which may have been really old at the time) said "he" was the default always hated that.

edited 6th Jan '14 6:57:57 AM by HistoryMaker

I'm not sure if Viewers Are Morons is the best way to go about this.

Put me in motion, drink the potion, use the lotion, drain the ocean, cause commotion, fake devotion, entertain a notion, be Nova Scotian

Well, in the setting itself, it's seen as a bit unusual (as they don't make up a lot of the population) and some there are some bigots against them, but in general, they are well accepted (The fact that the sources of prejudice are not as strong as religion helps)

• I was actually going to address the fact that there's a good chance the readers themselves may not even know that genders other than 'male' or 'female' exist. I was planning on having a character be a bit confused about the Non-Binary character's gender and asking whether they're a man or woman and having the character reply in a way that isn't too Info Dump -ish
• The thing I'm having trouble with now is that due to the fact that a majority of society knows that this specific group exists, they would have developed a name for them (like the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fa'afafine or http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hijra_(South_Asia)) It's okay if it sounds a bit 'exotic' (because this is a fantasy setting) but I don't want it to sound too forced or unnatural. Any help with this would be fantastic.

The novel I hope someday to write has a genderquer character, and I've always been kind of interested in using gender-neutral pronouns a bit abruptly. That's how I'm thinking the chapter 3 or 4, that will introduce the character, would start.

"Kym did not have a gender, just like zie didn't really have an ethnicity.* Zie wore thick-rimmed glasses, leather bangles, dark lines of kohl around zir eyes and an expression of defiant contempt for those who would adamantly insist that zie- no, *she*- she is a little Asian Catholic girl and should start acting like one. Mayra** had met zir among the Occupy London tents in Finsbury Square".

How's that for introducing a character?

• It will be explained later that Kym grew up in the USA before moving to the UK (where the action is set) at college age; zir father was (mixed-raced) Dominican and zir mother was ethnic Korean Japanese.
  • Mayra is on of the main characters, the ensemble's Soapbox Sadie

Muse, when you say your character has a "non-binary" gender, do you mean that they identify as a gender other than their physical gender, or that their physical gender is ambiguous?

Just curious

Gender tends to be mental; sex is the physical aspect. Although whether the character is ambiguous of sex as well makes for an interesting consideration.

I'll hide your name inside a word and paint your eyes with false perception.

This particular character happens to belong to a race of shape-shifters (it is explicitly mentioned that most of them identify as one gender or the other however) and therefore doesn't have a static 'sex' in the way we would think of it. I wasn't planning on actually mentioning what sex they were born as because A. As I have had some exposure to the trans* community, I know that that is a bit offensive and B. It really doesn't matter for the plot so why mention it?

• I'm planning on using the singular 'they' as a pronoun, do you think that would bother people too much?

Out of curiosity, how does this species operate biologically? Do they have a rough male/female/? equivalent, or are they hermaphroditic? Or is it more basic than that, say budding or swapping DNA a la carbosilicate amorphs? Also, if they don't have a distinct sex or gender, asexual might be a closer comparison than trans*- the individuals can change, but their mental and biological configuration aren't set up the way humans' are. This might be a thing by itself- 'assigning human characteristics to other species, even casual anthropomorphism, is racist.' (Though I do think it would be funny- "are you male or female?" "Yes.")

Singular "they" is clunky. If there's no better alternative, sure- but if you're using a strict viewpoint character who can (and does) assign a pronoun, I'd use that. (First-person's obviously easiest this way.)

As I mentioned before I like the singular they a lot. If you aren't that comfortable with it you could try using their first name a lot. "They are a good dancer" vs " Sam is a good dancer"

Are there humans/other species in you setting or is everybody a shapeshifter? Are they voluntary shapeshifters? Do they tend to have a default form?

Again I'm curious

edited 15th Jan '14 1:23:52 PM by HistoryMaker

This species is relatively human (besides being magical) and take only take human forms (of various body type/sex/etc.) Technically, as they cannot shift before reaching adulthood, they did have a concrete 'sex' and possibly did identify as a woman or man at one point.

• A good population of this world is shapeshifters and often the shifting is involuntary. They may have a specific form they gravitate towards out of preference (such as female, older, etc.) but technically they don't have a static 'form'

edited 16th Jan '14 8:01:13 AM by TheMuse

Well. Maybe as kids and teens the pronouns for the character's biological gender is used. Then when the nonbinary shapeshifter "comes out" as nonbinary and accidentally shapeshifts into a more nonbinary body (there can be more than one nonbinary body for same character, too), "they" is used.

http://www.ncls.it/g/

An Info Dump is necessary to explain what is going on with how this species treats its genders. It will be very helpful whether or not readers know the concept of nonbinary genders. InfoDumps are usually treated as bad, but Tropes Are Not Bad and in this case there's no other way to make sure all your readers are on the same page (har har) as to how the genders and pronouns work.

Find a way to fit the Info Dump into the story. For example, a human meeting the shapeshifter species would need a tour guide to explain the genders. The tour guide's explanation would be your Info Dump.

edited 18th Dec '16 5:49:53 AM by hellomoto

Take a look at Ursula K. Le Guin's The Left Hand of Darkness. It deals with a race that cycles between male and female. It could help you out a bit.

Honestly, that strikes me as lazy storytelling. : It strikes me as more efficient to sneak in references to the process through the organic progression of everyday conversation. Obviously, it's something these people just know, but hey, people talk about their kids getting older, women talk about their periods, stuff like this comes up. It's not something you need to spell out word for word to be understood.

I'll hide your name inside a word and paint your eyes with false perception.