The Week's Billboard Hot 100 #1

If artists who have been around for a while want hits, they shouldn't release awful music.

Yeah, the biggest hit we've had from Britney recently was "Work Bitch," at #12. I also heard "Perfume" on the radio a number of times, but apparently their parent album, Britney Jean, didn't do so hot.

Once the "Pretty Girls" video comes out, I'm expecting the song to least perform as well as "Can't Remember to Forget You." Yeah, remember that Shakira and Rihanna collaboration a year ago? That song's video went viral, but not for the song itself. Given that both Britney and Iggy are Ms. Fanservices, they'll probably offer the same fare in their video.

EDIT: Oh, the video came out a day ago, and it's got 4 million views as of this writing. It sounds like a start.

edited 14th May '15 2:44:18 PM by BurntMario

Oh...oh my...I can't stop laughing at that. It's so bad, it's hilarious. It sounds like Adam Levine just ad libbed all of the verses, because there is no way anyone could sing such stupid lines with the utmost of sincerity, not unless that was supposed to just be a piss take.

Some songs were not meant to have lyric videos.

Also, I love how the chorus is blatantly baiting people saying, "HEY WE R TALKING ABOUT SUMMER HERE SO YOU SHOULD GO AHEAD AND MAKE OUR SONG THE SONG OF THE SUMMER OK LUV U BB."

The verses and the chorus are so disconnected from each other it's kinda painful. My guess is the same, they had a catchy 'song of the summer' chorus thought up, after which they walked into the studio with Levine ad libbing the verses on the spot.

I'll admit, the production isn't so bad. I like me some synthpop. And they actually have a chorus there in the...chorus. See, Maroon 5 is more than just Adam Levine and some other people no one cares about.

Assuming the song doesn't run into any competition with their previous single, "Sugar," I could honestly see it become a hit (if only because it's Maroon 5 and radio will eat up anything by them). Sure, the title is awkward, but it's not like the pop world has ever frowned upon songs entitled with F-bombs before ("Fuck You" and "Tonight (I'm Fuckin' You)" were two of the biggest hits of 2011). I'm not sure what the censored version will be, though. "This Summer's Gonna Hurt Like a Mother [awkward pause]"?

But that doesn't salvage the song from any of its faults. On top of Levine not saving the ad-libs for the final chorus, the lyrics are just plain awful. "I see her dancing on a fool / Like she's seventeen and cool / She really thinks that she can move / But it's just nasty"? And what the hell is up with the "cuz she's so fancy" pre-chorus? Is he singing about Igg...oh, my God, it makes total sense now. Maroon 5 is publicly stating their disgust with Iggy Azalea. She ruined last summer with "Fancy," and now she's going to ruin this summer with "Pretty Girls." Huh, who would've known?

But seriously, the lyrics reach, like, Train-levels of bad. They remind me a lot of that Nickelback song, uh, "She Keeps Me Up," that was posted way earlier in this thread. That song's chorus went, "Funky little monkey, she's a twisted mister," "Coca-Cola roller coaster," and some other stuff in there. They also remind me of the lyrics of the song on my signature, which, coincidentally, also sort of have to do with the summertime^note LFO — "Summer Girls". (I'm surprised I hadn't addressed my signature until now.)

I was actually having that same exact train of thought about Maroon 5 thrashing Iggy, but that seems too well-thought out for anything Maroon 5 has done in the last eight years or so.

Heh...Strange Minds Think Alike.

The station I heard it on simply called it "This Summer's Gonna Hurt".

wow this is probably the first M5 song I've actually liked. Much like the beibs, I find Adam's body a much better source of entertainment than his music.

A remix of OMI's 'Cheerleader' was recently serviced to radio, and it's just about the worst song in the top 50 at the moment.

What's wrong with it? It's certainly better than "Pretty Girls".

WARNING: This post went way bigger than I expected. I apologize in advance.

In terms of the Song of the Summer, my personal preference is "Lean On" by Major Lazer feat. MO and DJ Snake. It's a chill, danceable mix between Indian music, dancehall, French house, with a touch of Norwegian pop, with none of it coming off as unnecessary nor disrespectable.

MO, one singer that interests me, does a great job vocal-wise here, and the lyrics even tell a simple story about how young love can turn into disappointment at the truth. Notice the verses and pre-choruses' metaphors, and how they shift from the first and the second. It's not the most masterful, but it avoids being cringy.

It's the breakout feature Mo should've had, before a combination of live performance issues and its similarities to "Fancy" sank "Beg For It" as a lasting single.

My more realistic choice? "Trap Queen". It's dumb, but it's fun fun dumb I'd like to share with my cross-country buds.

It's that or "See You Again", which is not the kind of song I think should represent 2015 from now. On the other hand, "Shut Up and Dance" works too, as it's respectable.

You know what? Let me just self-promote by linking my annotated version of Billboard's SOTS predictions.

And now for some lists:

Would Like To Be SOTS:

1. "Lean On"
2. "Trap Queen"
3. "You Know You Like It"
4. "Hey Mama"
5. "Feel Right"
6. "Talking Body"
7. BONUS: Elliphant, Charli XCX, Florence Welch, Rihanna, Sia, Lana Del Rey, Banks, Marina and the Diamonds, or other favorite artist who comes outta nowhere with a nice primary/feature.

Would Be Okay with Being SOTS:

1. "Shut Up and Dance"
2. "Bad Blood"
3. "Where Are U Now"
4. "Tonight Belongs to U"
5. "Want to Want Me"
6. "Beautiful Now" (Zedd feat. Jon Bellion — great singer!)
7. "Ghost Town" (Adam Lambert)
8. "Nothing to Love"
9. "Ex's & Oh's" (Elle King)
10. "King" (Ys & Ys)
11. "King Kunta" (Kendrick Lamar — longshot)
12. "Here" (Alessia Cara)
13. "Photograph"
14. "Somebody"
15. "Coffee" (Miguel feat. Wade)
16. "Tonight Is Still Young"
17. "This Summer's Gonna Hurt"
18. "Don't Look Down"
19. "Marvin Gaye" (Charlie Puth feat. Meghan Trainor)
20. BONUS: New Miley Cyrus or the Weeknd

Songs I Personally Don't Want to Be SOTS

1. "See You Again"
2. That MAGIC! song they mentioned in passing
3. "Believe" (Mumford and Sons)
4. "Nasty Freestyle"
5. "Like I Can"
6. "Pray to God" ("Outside" or "Open Wide" would've been better)
7. Anything Chris Brown (with grudging respect)
8. "Bright"
9. "Fight Song" (Rachel Platten) (?)
10. "Dear Future Husband" (??)
11. "Nobody Love" (??)
12. Avicii's current output (???)

Anything else I have no strong opinion on yet.

edited 16th May '15 8:54:59 PM by chihuahua0

No, it isn't. Pretty Girls has a camp, fun energy that detracts from it's awful lyrics, while Cheerleader has nothing redeeming going for it imo.

I don't see SYA budging for another 4-5 weeks. We replaced one monster with another (Russian Revolution teas).Whatever replaces it is anyone's guess (although really it'll be Hey Mama).

"Lean On" is actually pretty good. I've heard some previous material from Major Lazer, and while I can't remember which particular songs they were, I wasn't really a big fan of them. But "Leon On" strikes my cords, and the inclusion of MØ certainly doesn't hurt it. Her No Mythologies to Follow was one of my favourite pop albums of last year.

But what works against it? It's not particularly good, but what makes it particularly bad?

"Bad Blood" premiere, i.e. Kendrick Lamar feat. Taylor Swift starring in a hot mess of action-movie homages (I count at least Tron, Akira and Kill Bill, possibly the Expendables/Sin City in the end).
List of cameos: Selena Gomez, Lily Aldridge, Zendaya, Hayley Williams, Gigi Hadid, Ellie Goulding, Hailee Steinfeld, Lena Dunham, Kendrick Lamar, Karlie Kloss, Serayah McNeill, Jessica Alba, Martha Hunt, Ellen Pompeo, Mariska Hargitay, Cara Delevingne and Cindy Crawford.

edited 17th May '15 9:33:16 PM by LE0Night

That... looked more like a trailer than an actual music video. I'm not usually a person who cares about narrative in music videos, but with that much money and star power used one would think they could've afforded at least one fucking writer for that thing.

The music itself is kind of "meh". It's not infuriatingly stupid like many other Swift hits, but also not that catchy or memorable.

Somehow this song solidified the realization that we're pretty far from her little country girl shtick. If someone from the future would've come to me in 2009 after I first heard "Fifteen", showed me this video and said that this is what Taylor Swift will be doing in five years, I... Well, I probably would've taken that guy's time machine and become a time-manipulating supervillain. But that's beside the point. I also wouldn't have believed whatever they said about Swift's future.

Disappointed Lorde wasn't in it, given how hard I ship her and Taylor. I could have done with her instead of the child molester. Anyways, it's gonna be a pretty huge hit, just like everything off of 1989. The only factor we have now is that nearly her entire target audience has the album now, so we'll have to bank on the additional verses from Kendrick to sell the single. Radio will pick it up, obviously, and streaming from the video is going to be massive. Hopefully that will be enough to make up for the likely decrease in sales from Shake It Off/Blank Space.

This'll also likely be the last single released from the standard edition of the album. I can foresee New Romantics doing great things later in the summer.

Who's considered the child molester? It's also a shame Lorde isn't in it, but maybe she was busy in the studio and couldn't fly to the set?

Yeah, Big Machine's gonna promote the ish outta "Bad Blood" so they can make it Billboard's Song of the Summer 2015, and have a cherry to put on top *1989*. Two tracks will give it an advantage, because that means super-Swifties (and some causal ones) are more inclined to buy both, due to the distinct differences. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if she does an EP rerelease.

But in general, I feel like there will be competition. "See You Again" won't go down easily (Lindsey Stirling remix, please?). "Feeling Myself" has an exclusive music video on Tidal, with "The Night Is Still Young" prepping for a radio domination. "Hey Mama" has a video on the way too, and I wouldn't be surprised if Britney + Iggy pull some more cards out for "Pretty Girl". (Honestly, the "Bad Blood" video blew it out of the water. Way more dynamic.)

In short, plenty of entertainment from the biggies.

In other words, the "Taylor has sold out" cliche is finally true?

Lena Dunham, probably, she made some "statements" concerning her younger sister earlier this year.

…Oh.

I bet some fans would like to think it as "they sold out to her".

I bet Taylor has plenty of control over this single release. Although gathering all of those cameos helped make the video take off (it already has million of views), it's a risky move that Taylor wouldn't have pulled off even if she rained money all over Hollywood. Also, the Swift + Kendrick combo seemed to have developed organicall, even if both will make more money off each other's fanbases.

Do you think Big Machine paid for any of the cameo? Even without that, the video must've been expensive enough that only a sufficently motivated artist could convince her label to take the jump. And Taylor was the one who convinced her people to let her throw off years of country music for her greatest style shift yet. I can imagine many suited executives giving her grief throughout the process that she would regret leaving Nashville.

At this point, unless documents indicate otherwise, I doubt Swift's just a sell-out pawn.

edited 18th May '15 4:32:00 PM by chihuahua0

Apparently the Bad Blood Remix is number one on itunes and is selling twice that of SYA. It probably has a good chance to grab the top spot on Billboard once after the radio deal effect hits.

Dude, shipping real-life people is just weird.

Here are some stats for reference. Also worth noting that the original is selling 17% of what the remix is selling.

It's too early to know if this will stick, but I do predict that it'll go #1 in a week or two—just in time for the Song of the Summer period.

But yeah, I'm also wishing for a third contender between "Bad Blood" and "See You Again". The next current runner-up is "Shut Up and Dance", presuming that it can make up for its (very relatively) low streaming (#11 on the Streaming Songs chart, compared with "See You Again" at #1, and "Bad Blood" likely to go beyond that.)

In lower news, who likes "OctaHate"? It's a bit start-stop for me, which messes with the groove, but I like both the production, Ryn Weaver's voice, and the sense of melodrama. It also helps Charli XCX co-wrote it.

edited 18th May '15 7:19:25 PM by chihuahua0