Stars Above Discussion Thread

GURGLE, BLUB.

Thanks a lot for your comments. Much fun as it is to get my ego stroked, I appreciate honesty more. I go for emotional impact; if something works on that level, I want to know, and if something doesn't work, I want to know how I can make it work.

The "foregone conclusion" thing in the flashbacks was intentional. One of the reasons I started at the end of the war, then jumped backward to before it was precisely because I wanted the reader to feel a sense of dread, knowing the essentials of what happened but not the details... and also not knowing what parts of Homura's explanation were accurate and what parts weren't. It was sort of a suspense thing: you already know something very, very bad is going to happen, but you don't know how it all goes down. It was a gamble, and I guess it paid off better for some people than for others.

I don't surprise myself often when I'm writing... usually I plan stuff out so far in advance that I know what my characters will do long before it's written down. Desideria, however, has exceeded all my initial expectations of what kind of villain she'd be. She was always going to be evil and devious, yes, but a bona-fide Complete Monster? No. I was concerned about writing that scene in the last chapter partly because I didn't know if she could pull it off and still be in character, or if I as the writer could pull it off and not have it seem gratuitous. Another gamble, but it seems to have worked out. I wrote some lines for Desi in this chapter that honestly shocked me with how cruel they were... she's unquestionably crossed the line into pure evil, but in a way that I (and apparently my readers) find fascinating.

One of the things Forz and I hoped to do was make SA accessible to people who haven't seen or weren't familiar with one series or the other. Obviously it's more important to have seen Madoka, but I'm glad the Lucky Star characters are coming through so strongly for you. I'd like to contribute that mostly to how well they're developed in canon, but I suppose if I must that I can also thank my mad writing skillz. -shot-

As for the ending... total honesty: until today I had something very specific in mind. After this chapter, though... I may make changes. Whether that's cause for celebration or dread is up to the reader.

Decided to post Chapter 17, since Forz died again.

I'm going to keep a running count of the number of people who say something akin to "It's about damn time!" after reading this chapter.

CURRENT COUNT: 7

edited 12th Jun '12 8:44:54 AM by FringeBenefits

On a first reading, I think it's a good chapter. (Of course, I'll have to read it a second time to notice any more minor problems.) I'm glad to see that the dynamic between Kagami and Konata is still present and hasn't been overshadowed by Homura's presence.

On a different note: I trust your writing skills, so it's probably unnecessary for me to say this, but I'll mention it anyway. Even though Homura and Kagami are closer and more honest with each other now, and even though Kagami told Homura that she's not alone and shouldn't blame herself for what happened, realistically, Homura is still not going to be able to easily get over what Desideria did to her.

Even worse, since Desideria took on Kagami's form, it's likely that Homura's memories of being of violated by Desideria could be triggered by being physically close to Kagami — which, I assume, is exactly what Desideria intended. Even as used to suffering as Homura is, that's got to leave her pretty screwed up. It's the sort of thing that could definitely cast a shadow over Homura and Kagami's relationship for a long time.

So, like I said, I assume you already realized all this, so I just brought it up since it'd be disappointing if the matter were ignored or brushed over, as sometimes happens in the hands of clumsier authors or in pursuit of a happy ending. But I know you're not one to force a happy ending, so I'm not really concerned.

edited 4th Jun '12 5:33:40 PM by Enthryn

Oh, trust me, that's being taken well into account. There's no way I would write a scene like that and just shove it under the rug for the sake of some yuri action. (I could do it, sure, but that would push this story over the line into porn, and more importantly be gratuitous and exploitative, so it's not happening.) There's going to be long, difficult conversations about what this means, and a hell of a lot of awkwardness is going to ensue. They're not out of the woods yet by a long shot.

Thanks as always for your comments, bro.

...Say, you wouldn't happen to be a "Faustian author", so to speak, would you? Will your soul be forfeit if one of your characters has a moment of perfect happiness?

-sits straight up in bed-

Buffy!

-Dramatic Thunder-

Had another burst of inspiration and finished the Sixth's Demon Profile. I had fun writing this one.

So.

Chapter 17.

...

HIT HER AGAIN KAGAMI. HIT HER A THOUSAND MORE TIMES. RUN, BITCH! HAHAHAHAHA!

...ahem.

So yeah, that chapter went over well with me. Go ahead and rack up another for your count.

Desideria becomes STILL MORE terrible. I can't believe she was throwing everything at Kagami (and that was a great scene, how she was literally randomly going through every possible revelation she could to stall, but still played the smug manipulator and eventually hit the mark) and still hasn't even hinted at what she's done to Miyuki and Tsukasa. Every single chapter makes me dread that reveal more and more. I mean, shit, Miyuki's been captive for WEEKS now! Is she even still alive? Ugh, at this point I'm worried that Desideria's "oh yeah, I also raped your sister" will insta-demon Kagami because it's so frustrating and enraging. I mean, the mark she gave Tsukasa at the end of chapter 7 implies mind control, right? I don't want to open a can of worms by debating whether it would be rape if she were only deceiving through shapeshifting, but either way, it's awful. I can't even properly enjoy the concentrated levels of FUCK YEAH in this chapter because I'm so worried about this...

I can't tell whether or not you intend to go into more detail about why Vittoria comes from Kagami. I mean, there's obviously something beyond the focal point stuff going on with Kagami this chapter, but is it the same thing that caused Vittoria, is it something that coincides with Vittoria, or did it follow Vittoria? I'm kind of toying with the idea that it's some kind of gift from Madoka, since Kagami is sharing the dark wing motif with Homura. I mean, I could see Madoka being a big cheater and helping Kagami fight Vittoria because a) it's related to hope beating despair, which is her thing and b) it would help prevent magical girl/s (Homura, and any alternate universe magical girls that might exist) from despairing, which is her thing, though usually in a less roundabout way.

FINALLY, something good happens to Homura! That last scene was so fluffy, oh my god.◊ Kagami, thumbs up for intervention, because I don't even want to think about the state Homura'd be in if she went off and brooded by herself after all this. Homura hasn't been understood so well by anyone since naked space hugs, and that only lasted for a few minutes. How is she even going to behave in this situation? They're definitely due a long, emotionally fraught conversation, but considering how exhausted they both must be and all the talking Kagami is going to have to do with Konata and her parents, they might have to put it off a bit.

I think there will be problems from the twins' parents knowing their girls are in some kind of trouble, but sharing information with Konata and Tsukasa seems like a good idea to me. They need to be on the lookout for more subtle infiltrations (I type with gnashing teeth) and it's always good to have some normal pals to make excuses and do some legwork. Konata will be insufferable forever but on the plus side that could help make up for her disappointment with losing her chance at Kagami. Ugh, Desideria, you are so terrible, she wasn't even that upset about it, they probably just needed a few awkward air-clearing insecurity-soothing talks and you made everything awful with your bullshit half-truths, arrrrrrgh.

x7 I was kind of worried I was coming off as patronizing or seeming like I didn't like the fic, so I'm glad you appreciated my thoughts. I wish I could talk more about how I felt about the flashbacks, but I first read them so long ago I don't remember exactly why I reacted the way I did.

Yeah, I have a lot of feelings about Desideria. For me, she's about equal with Kagami and Homura's relationship in terms of causing emotions.

Keep up the good work! It's a wild ride and I'm enjoying it.

edited 5th Jun '12 12:04:45 AM by TSB

Wow! Thanks again for the super-long review, TSB. I'll try not to keep you waiting too long for the next chapter. Sorry for the late reply.

FYI, I've already got the title: "So Now What?"

Also, Part 3 of Respect is now up, in which the shit begins to seriously hit the fan, metaphorically speaking.

Hehe... this will be entertaining. Pretty Cure is so ridiculously fluffy, it almost feels like more of a mood clash than with Lucky Star.

That was exactly one-half of my reason for writing this thing... though having burned through about three-and-a-half Precure series since I started watching Smile, I can say that occasionally things do get surprisingly Nightmare Fuel-ish. And the fight scenes, especially in the first series, are almost always intense.

The other half of my reason was because even by the typical Precure series standards, Yayoi is unbelievably adorable. You don't even know. She's like Anime Magical Girl Fluttershy, mixed with a heavily-closeted version of Konata, otaku-wise (almost as big a fangirl, but terrified of letting it show, in other words) or maybe Hiyori (drawing ability). With Pikachu's powers, despite the fact that she seems to be Afraid of Lightning.

Of course I had to corrupt her. XD

edited 7th Jun '12 6:03:45 PM by FringeBenefits

The fourth and final part of Respect is now up.

The scene that made me decide I had to write this thing is in this chapter. See if you can guess which one I'm referring to. :D

It's looong, though, so you might want to set aside some time. I hope you'll stick with it.

Wow, you really weren't kidding when you said "corrupt". I thought she'd just break or go the Sayaka route. I'm impressed.

Not sure which scene you're talking about, though.

Oh, one question: Did Mami see Yayoi turn into a witch? And if so, why didn't Mami freak out at the realization like in canon?

I was trying to imply that Yayoi used the big lightning column to escape and run away, and that she turned into a Witch some time later, but maybe that wasn't clear... might go back and tweak it now that you've mentioned it.

And the scene I was referring to was the Off with Her Head! part. :D

Started reading this fic today, its pretty good. Definitely one of the best, Madoka fic I've read.

Absolutely hate Desideria though. Hope she dies painfully sometime soon.

Forz and I are always glad to hear from new readers, thanks for posting!

If you've read the other posts here, you know you're not alone. Desideria is the villain everyone loves to hate. XD

Quick update, since I'm on the library's comp and time is limited.

The "derecho" some of you may have heard about on the news knocked out our internet, tv, phone, air conditioning, power, and damn near everything else aside from water, during the hottest week of the year so far. Needless to say, work on SA is on hold. It's anyone's guess when I'll be back on... I heard it could be as late as next week, but I'm praying it's sooner.

Despite not knowing what you are actually talking about, I hope it sorts itself out.

Also, I am done with school! so expect reviews.

I HAVE THE POWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Finally, after five days of hell, I'm back in business.

Respect now has a tropes page, because why not.

RARE, WHERE UR REVIEWS

Working on them, still got a few more points to elaborate and then, after compilation, comes the post.

Eleven pages into Chapter 18. Might finish it tomorrow.

RARE, REVIEWS, WHERE, ETC.

Still working on em', progress is steady.

Honestly though, I got kind of sidetracked for a few hours (blame Dissidia 012)

Looking forward to the next chapter.

By the way, I saw you mention in the Madoka Magica fanfic thread that Stars Above is "winding down". Is it really? That's surprising, because it seems like there's a lot that still has to happen and loose ends that are still unsettled. If I had to guess, I'd say that it's closer to the middle of the story than the end. Perhaps I've misjudged, though.

Starting to wind down. I don't know exactly how much more there is to go, but we're definitely past the halfway point by now.

FAIL. ONLY MY GIRLFRIEND IS ALLOWED TO BE DISTRACTED BY FINAL FANTASY.

edited 14th Jul '12 6:00:02 AM by FringeBenefits