[[ quoteblock ]] and [[ / quoteblock ]]
PINNACLE OF MAN
Thanks! Now, here's one excerpt from a fanfic called "Penguins of Madagascar Porn"
p style="text-align: center;"" maybe should just pack up our little party for someone." Bada said./p
p style="text-align: center;""Yes." Bing said "Who?" Suddenly they saw Skipper passing near their habitat. They looked at each other for a brief second and smiled, the penguins was perfect for the party, saying nothing they caught Skipper who shouted surprised./p
p style="text-align: center;""My God what the hell is this?" The leader asked the gorillas./p
p style="text-align: center;""We need you on a mission?" Bada said the leader with a smile./p
p style="text-align: center;""What kind of mission?"/p
p style="text-align: center;""A mission only our" Bing said, smiling with Bada./p
p style="text-align: center;""It's a party." Bada followed./p
p style="text-align: center;""If you guys want to party, will seek the ringtail."/p
p style="text-align: center;"" he is not funny." The gorilla said whispering in the ear of the Skipper. "You what's good for it."/p
p style="text-align: center;"Skipper pulled back the two gorillas when he realized that the two were looking seductively and playing the penguin./p
p style="text-align: center;""Sorry, but I'm not that kind." Skipper said knowing where that conversation would lead./p
p style="text-align: center;""Please Skipper." Bada said pulling penguin to close it and giving a lick on his neck "I know you want too ."/p
p style="text-align: center;""Yes Skipper." Bing said licking his back. "We know what you want."/p
Is something the matter?
Like I said, my imagination is one huge crackfic.
edited 28th Mar '16 11:08:09 AM by MoreFace
What happened? Why am I not allowed to post anymore!?
Editor of Posts
If there's an easier way to find batshit fanfics than fanfiction.net's Crossover section, I don't know what it is. Just pick a franchise, check what franchises it has been crossed with and pick whatever sounds the dumbest. Lets use this Bambi/Star Trek crossover
as an example. To quote the author's description:
Try it yourself and see what you can find! I'd recommend picking a franchise that doesn't have too many crossovers, so the list of crossover'd franchises is easier to skim through. You want it to look less like this and more like this.
edited 1st Apr '16 4:27:27 PM by Druplesnubb
Not an evil Thievul
Found a Animal Crossing X The Problem Solverz fic. It really just has to be read to be believed.
From the same weird Nazi Invasion fic I featured earlier;
Amused
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
That's just.....wha? Why cross it with Problem Solvers out of all things? That show is already far out there enough but a crossover with a down to earth game?
That is pretty funny.
edited 27th Apr '16 1:15:09 AM by Ecrivan
Formerly known as Bleddyn And I am feeling like a ghost Resident Perky Goth
in the beginning of the morning mew2 came from where and said "jennifer i love you and i donu't want you to die. but you are a human"
jenniver said "what will you doo to me mew2"
"i will turn you into a femmale mew2" and he pickd her up and flewed her fast to the lab were was mew2 was born. he had to flying fast becaus the world was became collapssing around down in because he was not there anymore. There was darkness and lightnings now but mew2 didnt care when he helding jennifer in his arms becaus the world was at the center with her.
mew2 said "every thing will be all right jennifer and we will be happy togethr" and she smiled back.
Self-Replicating Mechanism of War
Battle Between Titans: Giantdad vs The Wall
How fleeting...
“I didn’t think parabolas could get you this excited.”
“D-don’t talk about parabolas with your hand inside of my panties,” Nico hissed, pinching Eli’s cheek for emphasis.
I swear, this is probably the cleanest Love Live submission on the entire blog.
I don’t even know anymore.
“"Exit stage rape!” said Snagglepuss with his disturbing face as in Marvel comics and his amazing abs.“
Face me now, Bitch!
..Da fuck is Snagglepuss doing in a Legend of Korra fanfic?
Not an evil Thievul
Exactly.
Text: “I wanna—” Hux mumbles, voice all soft and worn out, but fuck if his cock isn’t twitching back to life. “I wanna do it.”
Kylo’s fingers pause inside him. “What?”
“I wanna fuck your truck.“
Lets just hope the Truck is not a transformer. This doesn't need to get weirder.
Text: (((Elsa))) commenced dominating the blond haired adonis with her well trained Jewish seduction arts that were practiced secretly for centuries by Khaballa Master Meistros of Sexual Degradation Filth Pornography. Kristof couldn't help but moangroan as she berzinkled his cock.
What happens when a Neo-Nazi writes fanfic? This. This is what happens.
edited 23rd Feb '17 6:07:05 PM by NickTheSwing
Standing in the door to the bridge was.............FREEZED! His finger gun of evil killing still giving off smoke from the firing. "Don't know why I'm here, figured I should kill someone." Then he left and Joel screamed "AVENGE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"
Not an evil Thievul
Man, if there were ever a Diabolus ex Machina...
Even Freeza seemed confused why he was even there.
Same author even!
Joel screamed in enraged, "MOTHERFUCKING DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNE!!!"
Master of Unpopular Opinions
Not as weird as some of the other examples on this page, but still. There's this Sly Cooper x Fox Mc Cloud fanfic quadrilogy out there: https://archiveofourown.org/series/177023
Some highlights include:
•Sly and Fox calling each other "Diamond Rings" and "Vulpecula"... Yeah, just let me vomit up my guts so hard it'll make sea cucumbers jealous.
•A scene where Rioichi, Tennessee, Salim, and Galleth attempt to figure out how to drive. It's described by the author as "one third funny, two thirds stupid and three thirds dangerous." Yeah. Either they fail at math, or they just fail at humor. •Rioichi's constant misuse of Japanese words and honorifics. (Note to everyone who plans to use Japanese terms: DO THE FREAKING RESEARCH FIRST.) •Dimitri comparing Sly and Fox to Romeo and Juliet. As Phoenix Wright (almost) said, "Didn't they die?" •This exchange, where Krystal's just learned of their relationship:
“What do you mean by 'what will happen'?” Falco asked.
“Oh you know. How he'll inevitably become shunned by all of the people in his life for marrying a team switching asshole. If I was him I'd save myself the embarrassment and spare my friends the shame by ending things now before it was too late.” Krystal said in an icy tone.
Now those were the cruel words Fox was expecting. And yet, he did not expect them to be that cruel.
“Shut up, Krystal! Sly's friends aren't like that and neither is he! Everyone is happy for them getting married!” Falco passionately stated.
“Really? Either their standards for happiness are incredibly low, or they're all simply stupid.” Krystal said.
![[lol]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/lol2v12_4863.png "[lol]"){kind=small}
•The way they get Krystal to accept their marriage: Introduce her to Jim Mc Sweeny. It's not quite Horribly Bloody Death of Kairi level, but it's up there!
edited 31st Jul '17 8:31:31 PM by Bismuth83
I don't have low self esteem. I have low esteem for others. I HATE the Netflix version of Aggressive Retsuko!
×3 & 5 Wow, we're in "I'll get you back, evil boss!" territory here.
Master of Unpopular Opinions
@Medinoc What do you mean by that?
edited 2nd Aug '17 4:27:44 PM by Bismuth83
I don't have low self esteem. I have low esteem for others. I HATE the Netflix version of Aggressive Retsuko!
“she was so angry that she popped a boner despite not even having a penis.”
“Alright, fine 9S. You asked for it.” Trump spoke out softly and straightened himself. His hands pressed onto 9S hips, dragging him along the bed before a hand flicked and smacked against 9S’ fleshy rear, causing him to groan out. “You’re about to get Trumped.” He scoffed, pressing the head of his cock against the slippery asshole.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
“"Oh Norman, your cock is so big, insert it on my butt of temptations and delusions!” moaned Bayonetta hornfully.“
"OOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRGH!" Norma moaned as she took her son's large dick into her wet pussy lips, for such a slight, androgynous youth, he was extremely well endowed in the dick area.
She swore the best sex was the sex she had with her sons - only her progeny who crawled out of her womb would know how best to please it.
“God u cheeky bastard come outta there n fuk my ass already” kurt yells Then out of the bushes emerges a long green handsome young man “oh kurt cobain my dick is so slimy 4 u, hope u fisted urself cus nothin gon prepare u for this meaty shlong” and then the green satan sprints up n out of nowhere sticks his dongslong into kurts bodacious buttholio “Oft good thing i wore my buttplug last night (courtney can get p kinky lemme tell u)” kurt monets “Fuk ur so tiGht unf im gonna ram u so hard ull be in hell before u even blink” “Ooh ye give it to me daddy slither”
Text: “Aya now sat on Kyle’s lap with his whole 10-inch cock was stuffed deep inside her asshole like a Thanksgiving turkey.”
I'm the one who left the "burn it" comment on the Nie R one on Tumblr.
I haven't played that game or it's predecessor yet and I still wanted to claw my eyes out.
edited 15th Aug '17 9:28:03 PM by SapphireBlue
The AO 3 "Trump" tag is one big bag of crazy. The sanest thing I found under it was Jared Kushner x Ivanka Trump erotica that was astoundingly vanilla for what it was.
Behold, people! This author
is literally a divine gift. His incredibly horrendous knowledge of English language and grammar, combined with the sheer ridiculousness of his writing means that his sex scenes (warning: it's very NSFW) make even My Immortal look like a bland rock of unfunniness.
Now, how do I do the "white box with an excerpt from a fanfic" thing?
I am the most suitable partner for Gaia. I have some bad news. You will not make it to Eden. This is the end of your journey.